Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, October 21, 1900, Page 16

Republican Candidates for Legislature in Douglas County ALBERT J COLESO For State Photo by Senator PATRICK M. MULLEN-—Photo by Rinehart For State Representative. VACLAV BURESH For State Representative Short Stories Well Told and accost- direct him the Chicago A stranger got off the car ing & newsboy asked him to to the nearest bank, relates Tribune. “This way,’ sald the “newsle,” and turning the corner pointed to a skyscraper Jjust across the street, “Thank you and what do I owe you?" sald the gentleman, pulling a penny out of his pocket. “A quarter, please.” “A quarter! Isn't that pretty high for weting a man to the bank?” “You'll find, sir,” sald the “that bank directors are pald “’lli'lll‘n id a youngster, high in A well known business man, who is af flicted with the unfortunate and too pain- fully common delusion that he possesses un usual literary attainments, especially in the line of poetry, Is an inveterato sm ker, relates the Detroit Free Press. The other day he was complaining of nervousness to a friend, upon whom he has inflicted many of his productions, and he attributed his condition to an over Indulgence in tobacco, ‘Yet,” he added, “it helps me out won- derfully in my lterary work. My old pipe is a great soother. Do you Kknow that often when I am lost for an inspira Hughes Photo by Rinehart JOHN F. SCHULTZ For State Senator CARSTEN ROHWER tion all 1 have to do Is to light my pipe and the most beautiful word plctures come to me. Actually, 1 don't belleve I could write without my pipe.” ““Well, for heaven's sake, stop smoking," quickly interposed the suffering friend. J. E. C. Bodley, the well known author of the clever and exhaustive book on France lately published, was distinguished in London society as a sayer of witty things, reports Justin @ McCarthy, At a luncheon party one day a woman was de- scribing a visit she had pald to the house of a then famous aesthete, who was sup- posed to have a greater taste for house decoration than for habits of frequent ablution. Among other things, she de- scribed the harmonfous coloring of his bath room. Bodley expressed incredulity s to the aesthete's use for the bath room The woman indignantly repudiated the in- sinuation and sald: "I am sure he bathes a great deal.” “In that case,’” sald Bodley quietly, “he must be an even greater artist than I gave him credit for."” e “l was out In the western part of the state the other day on a matter of busi- ness,” said Brown to a Detroit Free Press man. ‘I expected to get back the same day, but 1 missed my train and was forced to put up at the alleged hotel that the little town where I was boasted of. 1 knew that Photo Photo by Heyn For State Representative. GEORGE MEAD-—-Photo by For State Representative. by Heyn HOWARD H. BALDRIGE For State Senator. Photo by Heyn HENRY M'COY—Photo by Heyn. For State Representative, Heyn there wae another train due at the little burg at 3 in the morning, so when I retired for the night I left orders with the old man who ran the otel to be called In time to catch it, as, my businesgs being finished I wanted t - get away as soon as possible “‘Goin’ ter try an' catch that train, eh?' d he, "Wvl, I don't think ye will.’ Well, you attend to your part and I will attend to mine,” I answered shortly “Well, the old man called me about 2 30 in the morning and I started for the gtation, arriving there in time to stand on the platform and watch the train passy by without stopping. Then it dawned upon me that it was a limited and was not in the habit of stopping at small places To say that 1 was mad does not express it and I charged back to the hotel with the idea of reading the rlot act to the old man for not telling me of the fact, “‘Didn't you catch the train?’ he asked when 1 came in, primed to the exploding point. ‘““*No, 1 didn't," 1 snapped. ‘‘Wul, he drawled, ‘I didn't think ye would, unless ye wuz an all-fired fast runner. But I wuz willin' ter see what ye could do." " i General Henry Kyd Douglas was one of the most herolc soldiers In Stonewall Jackson's command during the clvil war He has since been a jurist, statesman and SAMUEL A. CORNEER—Photo by Rinehart For State Representative, soclal lion and, added to his long and in- teresting career of versatility last summer by winning great applause and golden comments at a fashionable cakewalk given at one of the northern resorts. There is very little that General Douglas cannot do. He was the chief of staff under Stone- wall Jackson and learned the art of war from that great general. He called one of the most fearless and dashing riders in the whole southern army. He is the kind of who would meet death a8 cheerfully as he would pick up a per- fumed handkerchief from a ball flcor. Every year his engagement prominent woman is promptly denied. He is who happen to be happy was hero room to some announced and one of men though bachelors the Among the stories he tells of his army experience is that of the bravest man h: ever knew. He saw a young fellow start to run, then halt and go forward, march ing into what seemed to be the very jaws of death. He expected as a matter of ccurse that he would be killed and gave no more thought to him until after the battle. Riding over the field he recog- nized the rash youth. He asked him what had impelled him to do such a brave thing. The reply, after some hesitation, was as follows “Well, colonel, it was just this way. | am the worst coward on earth and I MEL FRED M BURTON E UHL - Photo by Rinehart For State Representative, YOUNGS—Photo by Hughes, For State Representative. WILCOX—Photo by Petersen. For State Representative. started to run and I intended to keep on running ‘til I got home, but all of a sudden the face of a little girl rose be- fore me and when I saw her I knew 1 just had to fight and then I waded in and did my best.” His Pedigree Atlanta Constitution here for me?” “Who's you?" “I'm BilL" An' who's Bill?" » lan’ sake, “Is airy letter don’'t you know me I'm Bill, that married Susan, that married Tom, that died last harvest, when cotton wuzn't fetchin' enough ter pay fer the pickin’, an' ol' Jones shot a nigger fer stealin® of a mule that wuz lame in one leg an’ foundered in all fours; an' ef you hain’t got no letter fer me gimmie a postal card! The Cod Detroit Journal we In the capitol at Boston aw the famous Stuffed Cod ““Was that put up with a serious purpose or just for a cod?"’ we hastened to ask. Whereupon the guide became very angry and threatened to have us arrested, until we calmly reminded him that the copyright of this joke had expired by limitation. Seeing that we knew our rights the fellow apologized,