Omaha Daily Bee Newspaper, August 1, 1891, Page 9

P AR T R 1 | THE OMAHA DAILY BEE = OMAHA, ATURDAY AUGU S 1, 1801—TWELVE .PAGES NUMBER 44, :'- , Pages 9 to 12 ! THE MODER. MUSE, A Sudden Shower, James Whiteomb Riley, Baretooted boys seud up the street, Or skurry under the sheltering sheds; And school-girl faces pale and sweet, Gleam from the shawls about their beads, Doors bang: and mother volces call From alien homes: and rusty gates Are elammed ; and high above it all The thunder grim reververates, And then‘abrupt the rain, the rain! ‘Lhe earth lies gasping; and the eyes Behind tho streaming window panes Suiile at the trouble of the skies, Tho highwa7 smokes, sharp echoes ring; The cattle bawl and cowbells elank; And into the towa comes galloping The farmer's horse with steaming flank. The swallow dips beneath the eaves, And fiirts his pluinés and folds his wings; And under the catawba leave The caterpiller curls and clings, The bumbicbee is pelted down The wot stem of the holiyhock; And sullenly in spattered brown The cricket leaps the garden walk, Within, the Aud crow vagu Without, beneath the dripping roscbush stands A dripping rooster one one leg. baby eluaps his hands with rapture strange and In After Years, Boston Courter When I was but a callow youth And Bingtown secmed the world to me, T thought Miss Dollie Henuessy A paragon of grls, in truth, A being who could take the prizo Among the hosts of puradise. And when she spurned my proffered hand And took Jim Robinson instead, I vowed that ne'er in all the land Could hope for me its radiance shed. But when some years had passed, and T, Meanwhile a wanderer, returned To Bingtown, und, in passing by A cottuge suddenly discerned A freckled slattern, grossly stout, From a dull porch rush wildly out, Snateh up an urchin by the ears Aud toss bim through the open door, CHuse from the lot a yolo of steers, Jump a rail feuce ind hurl & scoro Of cobules nt pussing tramp, Kick a New/loundland dog and stamp Two snnkes to bits, then to the cot Swoop back and yiil in aceents hot, “YouJim. Come here, you lazy lout, And sweep this mensly kitehen out ! Whicn this Isaw and heard, then icarned, _As from my ramble 1 returned, The dame was Mrs. Robiuson, This comment thro my mind did run ** “The suadest words of tongue or pen’ Are surely not ‘it might have been,’ Sorrow's Ghost, Lhilip Bowrke M ston. I was onco itting, babited in gray, Beside a lonely stream; and in her eyes Waus all the tenderness of twilight skies - widdle spriug when lawns are flushed with May, "“Mysterious oiie,”” I cried, “who art thou! v answered, in low tones, just heard through sighs: “Draw nigh and look—dost thou not recog- nizo A face weil known once, in another day ! She Then on the air these words grew audible: “The same she is who scorched thine cyes Wwith tears, But changed now by the sovereign force of years, And piteous grown, and no more terrible: Look on her, now.who once thy life opprest— Called bittarost Sorcow then, but now numed estl' Tie Sun's Bed. New York Advertiser, “You sec,” I said to my small boy, Y"thrc‘ the sky is 50 bright and red Well, that is where the great big sun 1s just settling dcwy to bed. He gives us light and heat all day, Though he sometimes doesn’t show, But still he's there benind the clouds, All the same, my pat, you know. And wlo. his day’s work finishod seems, Aud downwurd he looks to sink, We say that he has gone to bed— - Not really, though, I thinlk.” Aud-then, before I could explain Tow he lighted other lands In our bedtime--for he has none , (In one pluce be always stundsj, Tudignantly my small boy cried, With a shake of his wisc heud— 1 fink s0, too—not weally, For of torse he'd barn his bed I On Wilson's Peak. Aborg tpes Anacles Haril, - ove the clouds on mountain pea Midst fragrant breath of ,mgso, 2 A world lies smiling at our fect, _ With wealth of Golconda mines; Eyes sparkle bright with mute surprise, (At visions that around them lie, ‘The tuirest 'neath the vaulted sky hat sinks away in crimson lines. Above tko clouds, with upraised hands, To grasp tho giittering worlds, That o'er our heads 5o closely hang Rudiant as diadem of pearis; O, God, how near T'hou seem, 50 neur we cateh a gleam Of heaven—as in woudrous dream— Midst sea of Thy created worlds, Above the clouuds, our pulses stilled, We bow our heads in silent adoration Of Him, who thus cou'd build Worlds that chain our admiration ; Who, here, could stand and still deny _The God that rules on hight X © skeptics, comeand try The power of such association, Our Modern Amazon, Rose Hawthorne Lathrop in Harpir's Bazar, 'm trying on my armor, dear, With which my battlés are won, [ shall count some brilliant conquests before ‘The summer has gone. Here's a white dress and lily-trimmed bat, And a parasol like foum ; ? Loy il wake wy eves look darker yet, 51 feteh my prisoner home. You would not thiuk this simple silk, As light as a sea gull's wing, Could bring down many a knightly heart In the lists of “summering " « And here's u fan—it 1s not smoke, But lace and ostrich featner; It will be wutched by eyes that ask My fancy’s wind aud weather, And horo's o yachting suit that suys, Upon hfe's merry wave 1, like an adwiral, shall win Engagements brisk and brave! And at this shoe, all tipped with gold, A trembling stave shall stoop— * A vassal whom u rival queon Lost in sume waltzing group. In short, when autuma once more hangs “The lund with gorgeous hue, Ushall come riding back to town In triumph. Wouldn't yout W hen the Rain Came Down, Boston Transeript, While the rain came down they stayed In the maple's kindly shade, ' Leaning from the forny shoro Watcled the dappled river-toor Whiere the raindrops guily playe Every leafy mountain glade relt the raindrops' rushing raid ; Lowering storm-clouds bovered o'er While the ruin came down, Laughing, carcless, man and maid, ith the Wide umbrellw's aid eltered from the drops that pour, Love and youth tiieir bappy lore, . Naught cared they though long del Whilo tho raun camo downe - © o 4 God Did the Best, Helen Hunt Jackson, | Mother, I see you with your nursery light, Leading your babies, all in white, | To their sweet rest; Christ, the Good Shepherd, carries mine to- night, And that 1s best. I cannot help tears when I see them twine Their fingers in yours, and their bright curls shine On your warm breast; But the Savior'sis purer than yours or mine | He can love best. You tremble each hour beeause your arms Are weak; your heart is wrung with alarms, And sore opprest; My darlings are safe out of reach of barms, And that 15 best. You know that over yours may hangeven now Pain and disease, whose fulfilling slow Naught can arrest; Mire in God's garden can run to and fro, Aad that is best. You know that of yours your feeblest ono And deurest may live long yoars alone, Unloved, uanblest; Mine are chershed of saints around God's throne, And that is best, You must dread sears, Dark guilt unwashed by repentant tear: And unconfessed Mine entered spotless on eternal years, O, how wuch the best. for yours the crime that But grief is selfish; T cannot sca Always why I should so stricken be More than the rc But I know that, us well as them, for me God did the best. S o THOMPSON OF OUR IDENTIAL REPORT, Vanity Fair, Up there between Quetta and Can- dahar it gets very cold in January—a nasty, biting, blustering cold that nips the liver and shortens the temper; that comes whistling round your mud-hut with a northeast wind from off the snows and cracks the shriveled skin off you like old parchment. The colonel blew on his fingers, howled for fresh wood 1o be piled upon the five, and fell to the contemplation of his thumb, which was frost-bitten. Before him upon the table lay the louthsome sheets of foolscap known as “The Annual Confidential Roports.” Some of these were already filled in, some blanks as yet. Each was headed by the name of an officer, and fringed by the impertinent personal riddles set yearly for commandants to answor, Now, even when forced to look from the point of view of disapproval upon one of his **Boys,” this honorable, kindly Bnglish gentlomn held the sys- tem of confilential disparagement in borror. But really this morning, what with the cold and the maggots in the rice which had put him off his bre: THE CON fast, and the extraordinary delay in the mail letters, he felt inclined to damn y man-jack of them, himself in- cluded. With a roaring blizzard search- ing your bonos and a suspicion of fover in your blood, and nothing decent to eat, you don’t feel like certifying that every soul under your command is remarkable for alk qualities that go to make suints upon earth. Anyhow, the colonel did not feel like it. e begun turning over the shects with that sickly, lunguid feeling of re- volt with which monotony in its un- pleasant forms is apt to inspire one nf- ter long years of putient grind. He hated these grim skeleton sketches in bluck and white. It was always the sume thing—the same weary struggle to combine strict truth with fair words; to put **Yes” where it ought tobe “No,” xu:& “No" wheve it ought to be ‘‘Yes.” or were they indeed—all three youths —zealous in well-doing, all talented, all tactful, all of equable temper? Had they every one of them been endowed from their cradles with unnatural sagucity and aptitude for comman Were they, in short, ready-made gene: als from the moment they entered the ser Alus, no! The colonel’s eyes wandered to his crippled thumb again and then back to the sheets under his other hand, and presently fell upon a covtain name heading “one of them. Whereupon he cursed the authorities in his heart for u pack of fools, and sighed. It was Thompson—Licutenant William Thompson—known by the name of ev ) colonel took it in his hand und sighed again. There was not one, or hurdly one, of those cut-and-dvied que tions that could be answered gracefully, yet couscientiously, ns regarded this young man. I could deseribe him in threo words,” groaned the colonel: “harum-searum young devil,” Then, for he liked the lad, he began to wonder how on earth he was to fill up that report. He was a keen soldier him- solf, and, if truth be told, had a par- tiulity for the typo so pithily described in those three words. He would” rather bave such with him in the field than some other for whom perchance more could bo said on paper. Of such he knew was the kingdom of heroos. The ghosts of many haunting trage- dies came crowding into the old soldier’s mind s ho sut fingering that infe paper. Did any of these harsh moral photographs of them, with **Yeses” und 'Noes" in the most_unbecoming places, lie rotting still perhups in the adjutant general’s office He got up shivering and kicked the logs into a blaze,then returned with stern determination to the study of the vexing questions in hund. What could he say for Billy Thompson? he fad had the temper of a game bull-terrier, the tact and judgment of a Newfoundland puppy ana about us much ability and acquive- ment us the avernge English sthoolboy. The thought of Billy Thompson as orna- mented with a complete list of **Confi dential Report” virtues was nothing less than grotesque. He glanced down the list. Why, that very morning he had spent a bad half hour in wigging the youngster for short- comings in almost every item. Late again for parade. Violent with a Sepoy. Hudn't the faintest notion of his drill, and s0 on, “What on earth am I to say for you, sir?” he had asked, angrily, tapping the bundle of uncompromising papers, at which Billy glanced with rueful despair in his honest eves, **You ure distinetly eless, wanting in taet, useless ut office work—what's the use of complaining of your writers, sir?—inattentive and argue mentative, Ride? Of course; and that’s about all you're fit for. That and ten- but unluckily these won't advane you'in your profession, nov gain you ro- spect, nor fit you for o command,” Then the colonel had stolen a look at the feank, bright fuce, and thought for the millionth time how ridiculous it all was, The lad was honorable und brave. Why not trust to time and training to l wanted.n tight hand but why be forced to ging report of do the rest? THe over him of cour: send up n nasty, dispa him to headquarters?” Somehow the colonet could not find it in his heart to do it, and wus still wor ing over it, when a telegram was brought in addressed *‘To the Officer Commanding. This was followed ghortly by u knock at the rough door opening outward on to the cold, wind- swapt inclosure, a struggle to shut the same, and a tall, smart looking officer entered, helmet in hund, *0O, that'’s you, Hamerton! T was just going tosend for you. There's a ro up Kuhnaz way. James of the polic wounded. Ghazis again killed o lot of people. I'm ordeved to send an intelli- gent officer to investigate the thing and report. You'll ve a ticklish job, but I can rely upon you. I'vebeen thinkin whom you had better take. Yqu see, [ can only spare one of two, either Bates or Thompson, Bates has the longest head, and yot Thompson—well, if it comes to blows, somehow [ should pre- fer Thompson, But do as you like.” As he suid this the colonel instinet- ively glanced at the pile of papers be- gide him. Bates’ name happencd to bo uppermost, with its every question snugly neatly answered. Thomp- son's had frl off gaily in the draught of the oven door, and was but just saved from boing chewed under the table by Hamerton's puppy, who had followed his master in, ‘Tt shall be little Billy,” said Major Hamerton to himself; and procecded to the discussion of further details cor cerning escort and commissarint a rangements for the s expedition. A little before nightinll they sturted, a party of fifteon in all: the two English officers—Billy in astate of the wi dest joy, and bursting with importance— dutfendar, and twelve Sowars of the Khunaz Horse. A second telegram had been received soon after tho fivst saying that the Ghazis, who were few in num- ber, had taken themselves off; that a native hospital assistant was in charge of James, the wounded pol officer; and thut'he was to be brought back here, because there was no othor European doctor nearer thin Quetta. “Hope we come across the beggars,” Billy said, glecfully. But the' colonel, who had ridden out alittle way with the party, and had wished them “good luck,” " found him- self snying something liko o prayer in his heirt for the safe ceturn of the two men, who were, in his opinion, the very pick of the regiment. In times of peace these inglovious little brushes with sneaking Ghazis wre not among the p! it features of ser vice in Afghanistan, To an old soldier they savor too much of that potting from behind hedges with which the Ivish peasantvy have familiavized us, and to which no military glory is at- tached. He does not care ubout sending out good men to furnish targets for skulking devils, who have no ground to quarrel, but aré merely possessed of fanatical e to spill Ferringhee blood. Wherefore the commanding olficer was ill at ease, and for the next two days there fell a dulness and a malaise upon everybody in camp. Like the influenza, it attacked them ull, from the colonel downward, only, as K pling says, that is another story It was in the spring of 1890 that the ind fluenza came sweeping over Afghanistin death-lnden from FEuropean cities. It wus when April had cast its brief ethes reul spell upon this barren spot, and had woven a fairy carpet of flowers all over the plain, teuching the grim landscape the meaning of a smile. Oniy for a few beautiful days in all the yearis the ground moist and fragrant and covered with delicate short-lived blossoms. Like lovely ghosts they come and go--the white wild hyacinth bells, the small red tulip, the exquisite purple iris, It was with these sweet visitors that the influ- enza came, dealing suffering and death among the loncly scattered outposts, where comforts are few and luxuries for the sick unprocurable, But in this January the plain was bar- ren of any verdure or vegetation,save for a leafless serub that grows low upon the earth and gives out a fragrance resem- bling that of wild vhyme. And you could see right away to the horizon inone di- rection, and as faras a chainof low, hills in the other. Upon the third day after the depart- ure of the expedition the colonel rode out to reconnoitre along with the doc- tor, who wus always game for a ride. The commanding officer was more anx- ious than heallowed to appear. Some- how a two years’ sojourn in those dreary wilds dvaws men close together when they are made of good stuff. The party should have returned eve this, and the colonel’s heart was disquieted within him. e wasscanning the horizon care- fully. when he suddenly pulled up and shaded his eyes. *“What’s that little cloud of dust, doc- tor? TIsita ‘devil’ ora couple of horse- men?” The doctor, whose eyes were younger, answered that it was no “devil,” but horsemen, and that they were muking for camp. “By Jovi exclaimed with " his field glass up, Thompson and a Sowar!” In another moment they were cuttin cross to meet them. Billy was riding a length or two in front, and his juded horse pulled up of its own uccnni as he neured the ap- prouc ing riders, The Sowar suluted, and remained stolidly immovable in the background. Both men and horses were caked with dust, and wore a weary, de- jected air. ‘Weo're bringing in Janfes all right, sir,” answered Billy in answer to the colonel’s questioning gesture. *‘But we had a fight—=Ghazis, this side Khunoz. Hamerton’s badly wounded. 1've come on for the doctor, his only chance. The the colonel Mt is—it’s bluck follow bolted who was looking after Jumes. Can the doctor go at once sir? This war wants a fresh horse, that's all, Aftor a word or two with the com- mandant, the doctor sped toward camp with the Sowar at his heels. He paused for w moment by the side of Billy, and looked him in the face. “Ishall be under way in 5, he said. “Look here, you've had about enough; go home and turn in,” He was struck by the look of agony and mental strain on the boy’s face, After that the colonel got very few words out of him. He saw that the young fellow was done up, and questioned him little. His mouth was parched, so that he could with difficulty articulute. His strong young figure was bowed over ten min- old fel- the horse's neck. Asthey were nearing camp the doector with his escort rode out, and called back some cheering words to him. Five minutes later they were out of fight. Once within camp limits the colonel nr dismounted, and giving his horse o to a syce, walked beside the your officer’s horse with his hand on its neck. Several fellows came up with greetings and congratulations, “Come straight to mess and hm’ol something to drink before you tell us anything," said the colonel, taking hold of the horse's bridle as he spoke. At the same moment he felt it slacken within his grasp, and looking up he saw that Billy was reeling in his saddle, and that his lips were bloodless. “I—I think I'm done,” ne muttered feebly and fell sideways off his horse into the colonel’s arms, They carried him over to the mess and began taking off his military greate coat. Then something made him open his oyes, and his face took a little brave distorted smile, “Hold hard,” he gasped; I think I've got a bullet somewhere, and—uand—my arm’s smashed,” “Why, damn it!” groaned the colonel, laying "him gently down, and looking vound upon the civele of horror-stricken “*he knew thisand he has sent v the doctor!” It was some weeks before Major Ham- erton‘was able to tell the story’of Lieu- tenant Thompeon's heroice conduct—how whon he himself was woundedand at the mercy of the murderers, the young cer defended him single-hande afterward he pushed out into and brought out James of the police more dead than alive, and how, finally. while concealing the fact that he been shot in the rightamn, he rode forty miles in to get the doctor and thus for the second time saved the major’s life. how Khunaz [t was longer still though before Billy was out of danger. The wound had sct up inflammation and fever from over- exertion and the long time that had of skilled care wand for weeks necessity elapsed b could be bestowed upon i 1t was feared it would go hard with Billy. But in the end the “harum-scarum young devil” got well. and the colonel 1 the pleasure of kending upa *conti- dentinl report” of u very superior kind, together with a brilliant pendant,which has resulted in the bestowal of the much coveted Vietorin cross upon Lieutenant William Thompson of Ours, ——— A Collection of bou'ts tor Girls, Doll’s Dressmaker: Don’t—all talk at oi Don’t—eat anything to suve it Don’t—be afraid to do right. Don’t—ask your mother to walt upon you. Don't—driuk ice water while you are very warm, Don't—be impatient witi ers and sisters. Dou't- judge your playma they wear. Dou't—forget wrinkles. your little broth- s by the clothes that wry faces make Don’t—forget that kind words cost noth- ing. A Don't— teaso for what hds been wisely re- fused you, Dou't—drink tea or coffee before you aro twenty years old. g Dou'v—forget that evil communications corrupt good munuer: ¢ — . MEN OF MARK, Goethe's love-letters to a single one of his lady loves are valued at 837,000, General Jumes A, Singleton, the friend of Abrabam Lincoln and Stepuen A. Douglas, is living in retivement at Quincy, 11l 'The boots wera by Danial Webster are on exhibition in u Concora shoestore. No one in New Hampshire nas been able to fill them Mademba, the present king of Segon, was once a telegraph operator, He simply touched the brass button and fate did the rest. A statue of General Logan, designad by St. Gaudens, and to cost $0,000, is to be placed at the eutrance of Juckson park, Chicago. . Though not a fast man, Mr. Russell Sage is foud of fast horses, On Long Island he drives a span which be thinks can make with training. Stanley is reported to bhave mado $181,000 from his” American toar. One-half ‘of this sum came from his book and the other half from bis lectures. Mr. Smock, of Indianapolis, has been the leader of one' church choir 'for twenty-one years, and has never had a quarrel among his singers in that period. General Frank Muarshail, the first ernor Kansas ever bad, has become a moter” in Lis old age. He is now seventy- five, and is well kunown to New York in- vestors, Ex-Senatar Ingalls is going abroad with W. A. Croffut's autumn party, to go through Europe to Greace, Jerusalem, and Egypl. ‘They will start on' August 22 and return in aoout three months. 3 Prof. M. W. Harrington, the new chiof of the weather bureau, who desceaded from the early settlers of New [England, was born in in 1843, near Sugamore. Illinols, Ho grad- uated from the Uuiversity of Michigan in 1508, ® Judge Henry W. Blodgett of the United States district court is entitled to retive from the beach and enjoy his present salury— £5,000 a year— for the remainder of his life, Judge Blodgett was seventy years of aze last woek and haviug served on the United States district tench for twenty years. Four years ago W. R, Lee was driving an express wagon in Springtield, O.; thrce years ago he entered the medical scuool, New York city; one year ago he graduated and went as a missionary to Siam, and now at the age of twenty-eight he is made royal doctor to the king of Siam. Ex-Senator Edmunds is very domestic in his tastes, and one of his greatest pleasures is a daily horseback vide in company with his daughter. He kceps several cairiages, but the vehicle he uses the mostis an old express wagon that has been haummered for years about the country roads of Vermont. The inventory of General Sherman’s prop- erty now to be found in St. Louis, jus! mude includes only two pieces of real estate? sue of which 1s the Garrison-avenue house a%id lot presented to him in 1565 by the people of that city, and occupied by him as a home for soveral yoars. It was at thut time valued at #25,000, Hubert Howe Bancrdft, the historian of the Pacifie const, commeuved life us a clerk in a bookstore, His attention was drawn to bistoricul literaturc by being asked by his employers to aid 1n the preparation of. an almanac of the coast. Ho has collected one of the most valuable historical librarics in the world. N The house in which Bishop Huntington of Central New York, Is summering at Had- ley, Mass., was built 'by bis grandfather in 1753, As tho bishop stroleg about the lawn und garden he points with'no 1ittlo pride to his herd of blooded ' Jersay cattle And the youuger animuls in tho pasture adjoining. Two fine St. Bernard dogs almost invariaoly accompany their master on bis walks. A Boston reporter who recently saw Mr, cland at Buzzard's Bay says that the ox- sident looks us if he had spent many a day ou tho salt water, The Sun has browned his face to a healthy huo and burned his neck down below his coat collar. ~ Ho is not uu- comfortably stout, and has visibly lost flesh since he began to cruise about on the bay. He has found the fish scarcer this year than usual, but has made some good catches of buss and bluefish. Postponod. Little Elsie—Oh, mamma, look at the som- graault which Paul i3 turbing. May 1 join him { Mamma—No, doar; it fs not becoming to young ladles to turn ‘somersaults, Elsio—Then I will wait till I am grown up. -— aby Protests. Epoch, When papa passed his ohecklets 1n, His flannel shirtlets three They washed until—oh borrid sin— Thoy fitted little me. i Mountain costumo 15 _made of ecru flannel trimmed with black velvet. The sailor's hat bas a band of gauze and velvet. The other The wountmn dross Is of striped flannel rimmed with white galoous, The skirtis & pullback,” DOGDAY DELIG Accommodating. Columbus Post: *‘Mistah Johnson,” said one colored centleman, who carried a glas piteher, to another, at Chestuut and Third ust night, “I would like tor have yo como ovah aud spend de evenin’,” “‘Mistah Black, ye mus’ ecuse me. 1 has a very impawtant engagemeut this yer preseut obenin’.’! “Pshaw, yo kin spend an hour with m “Deed I'can't, Mistah Black, I mus’ go." “I'm awful sorry, Mistah Johnson, I'se jist goln’ down to got a full half-gallon o beer— “I3 yo goin' to it a full half-gallon 1" “Sunh 1 am." “What time is it, about now " “Eight o'clock." “‘Well, Ise got'a very ‘potant 'gagement, TS, but—that is—why ef it's argent—I—well, Mistah Black, I'se goin’ homg right 'long o' ¥yo And be went. A Personal 1t flction. joch: “Miss Hijoe didu't sing today,” ked a friond to ho leader of the choir B rou of the Church of the Offertory “No, she's resigned.” thought she had'a good place. What was the troublet” “She was offended about the selection of off ast Sui- than sing an avthein which she had tolc day, and vowed she'd resign so it und she did.” “That's odd, What was the anthem (" “0t began, ‘1 huve been young aud uow am old.) 1t Save 't Philadelphia Times: *Well, but Maud—" The absent-minded youth was {nterrupted by the horror-stricken girl. “Maud? My name is not Maud!” The situation was desperate, you fortune ot desert him, “But, my darling Louise,what am T coming around here forif it 1s nol to eventually chuuge your name!” She thought, of course,he had prearran the joke aud he thus was saved. One o tie Lawyer. Gainesville Eagle: Aun old man was on the witness stand and w being cross-examined by the lawyer, you are a doctor, sr!” sir; ves, sir.)! it of a doctor?? “I make 'intmen’s, sir. I make 'intments.” “What's your ointinent good for{" “It's good to rub on the head to strengthen the mind. “What effect would it hav rub some of it on my head (" “Noue at all, sir; noue ut have something to start with.” di d if you were to all. We must Asserting His Rights. Chicago Tribune: “That's exnctly what I camo here for this evening, Miss Mildred.’” The young man luid aside his hat, cane, and gloves. “That's exactly what I came for,” ho re- peated, possessing himseif of her hand. T want you for my wife.” “You might” hav trouble, Mr. Iairp taking her haud away. you.” “Another the young passing bis avm about her w her head down o his shoulder, *will you §25." saved yourself the 11, exclaimed the g “I shall uever marr ord of back-talk like that,” said eball umpire, quictly but firmly and pulling cost He Took My Hand New York Herald. He took my hand, I dropped my eyes— Women are timid, meu are wi 1 dlarec not lifv them to his own; “Your heart,” he whispere, soft the tone Of murmured question, low replies; Around the circle time still flie "Twas years ugo—D've wiser grown— Ho took my haud. I lost my heart, but why these sighs? Love came to me in other guisc; Auother partuer I huve known, nd ho—he played the game alove; was euchre, aud to win the prizo He took my hand, 3 Living and Learn Somerville Journal: “How do you pro- nounco it, ‘dapo’ or ‘depo’(" asked Miss Wabash, just for information. “1 usually pronounce it ‘railway station,’» replied Miss Beaconstreet, coldly, and Miss Wabash sceks for information no more, A Thorough Understanding. Life: He-—-It is understood that this 18 to be merely a summer flirtation She—Of course. He—[verything 1s to be returned when we break? She—Everything, He—Good,” I think we may with safoty take a mooulight stroll. Wil you take my arm: Ch arming, but Peor Foader. Rehoboth Herald : Miss Ethel (the famnily absent)—Oh, Hannab! I've found a charming little poem. ' Let me read to you: 'I'were heaven to live with thee aione, to feast mine eves upon thy smile, 10 driuk the honey of thy words—"! Hannah (the cook)—Law sakes! Miss Ethel, thet’d be rather light feed. Hi think Hi'd like roast beef *nd plum puad'n better for my part. Busted. Lenver Sun. He was a doughty miliionaire from the West so wild and . ree. But alas he had his weakness, aud a bankrupt now is ho. He went east like a lion, but e's busted now you seo. For ho spent an entire summer at “Soubretteville By The Soul Craving for a S; Munsey's Week! Edwin (as they reach the summit of the mouutain after a long climb)—Ah, we are here at last! What a nificent view ! At such a time and pla strange sensations—an undeniable longing, & soul craving, as it were, which— Angelina—My dear Edwin, you must want a ham sandwich . Balaa s Pet Not in It. New York Sun: ‘“Cholhe was arowned in the surf this morning." “How! Undertow?" “No: he got his ears full of sand and they pulled his head under,” The Wise Comprise, He fafled for half a million straight And this was most surprising; Bu¥ not so much as was the sum, He made by compromising. nearly Suitable to the Occasion, New York Herald: “What were poor Mosky's last words when she killed him asked the beotle after the aut had told him of the mosquito's death, “Heo only said, ‘I'm mashed on you," then he gave a faiut buzz and expired.’ Easily Settled, Adam—Where shall we go to spend the summer, my dear! Eve—1 don't about going anywhere, 1 haven't a thing to wear, and Adam—Toen we'll go to the seaside, Realistic Singing, Harper's Bazar: I hear Brouson sang ‘Rocked in the Cradle of the Deop' at the ol re “Yos, !t “Did he do it well?? “He did, indeed. It was so vivid that five people left the ball, overcome with seasick- ness,” The Liveryman o ruu Liver. Harper's Bazar: *This lver is awful, Maud,” sald Mr, Newwed. “1'm very sorry, returned the bride. I'll tell cook to speak to the liveryman about it,’ Telling No Tale It 18 said that dead men toil no tales, The one who said 1t surely raves, For every moment pluinly shows That dead men lio in graves, Knew His Man. “Can T speak to you lone a moment, Sketelley 1 es, on one condition ‘Granted, and that is¢" Vou don't want 1o borrow more than §1." Wh t's the Use. What's the use of growling about the hot weather? Only wait six months and it wiil be cold enough to freeze your nose off, Littie Tho Ocean Girove bathers don't care a wrap for the prud Wheat dfffers from babies in that it is v cradled until after it gets a boar The man that does not elieve that two heads are better than ono is the father of new twins, The puddle presonts a fine fleld of hoppe: tions for the frog. It is the counterfeit il ing xlance. Louk to t ruey. There every one is i the swim, Do you suppoce that Elijah was literally trauslated, or is the aceount to be taken rig- uricively " “It was a freo transiation, I thinlk." A friar, ncensed at- tha poker playing pro- clivitie: of w brother v , went so far us to call him u ehip-monic, “We bive no use for bear stories,” said the editor, “Our readors demand Something spicy.”” “Well, waid the man with tho man It pt, “this story is about a cinnamon ne thut gots the pass for truo democ- “Well, tha out the worst caso of elec- trocution I ev came across,” said the editor as tie looked over the garbled telogram. “Inover appear in_but one roll,” remarked the cockroach iu the biscuit, a8 the cook shoved the bread pan into the' red-hot oven. No dime museum manager will ever realizo the highest possibilities of his profession until he gets on exhibition & woman who never had a headuche or a corn, BRIGHT SAYING N OF YOUTIL, A Bright tdea. Detroit Freo IPress: The smart specches of chilaren arc always ofi-hand, consequently they are, as a rule, clover. A little girl of this city” likes to keep a box of caidy for a loug time, but as it s usually discovered by the other children sho fails to do so. 'The other day she went to her mother, Please give me a piece of camphor-gum. mar “What do you want of it, Elsie (" *To put out of it,’ was the qui s Lu ky Stroke. E New York ald: Little Ella wanted candy, and thid is the way she got it: apa, you're woing o give me 3 cents, aren’t you?’ she said, “Two cents N OE “One cent (" “No," hen how many cents are you going to give me?” B “*Noue." “Wall, I won't take it,”” with emphasis, After u laugh papa gives her a nickel. A Surprise. Mrs. M. L. Rayne. He found it in s grip one day, Hid softly in its russet caso, Aud wondéred much whose picture lay Iu such & rude, uncestful placo. Aud was it Katie, Maud or Suet The handsome drummer looked perploxed; Those flirting girls! Perhaps they knew That he was married—were they vexed? ‘Then something deep within his breast Owned to a thrill of honest shame; How dared they seud this hidden guest? He would return it—whose the name? He looked. Sweet face with pictured laugh, Bright, fluffy bair 1 tangled curl, Aud scrawled across the photograph, Iu priuted lettors, “pApaS glrL.” An lmported One. Fun: “I'mgoiug to wear charities, now I'm eight, father,” smd my youngest on his birthday, yesterday morning. “Charitie: 1 said, *“What are they {" “These,he replicd, touching my nether gar- ments, 0, 'trousers—yes! But why call them ‘enarities 7" “Because they cover a multitude of shins!” “You rascal! There's a shilling for you.” Bessie's Discovery. Carrie F. Needham in Wide Awake, 40, mamma dear! come quick and sce ! Holy Bessie clapped her hands in glee, And pointed where the pine trees higa Grew dark against the summer’'s sky. Straight up the hill, ou through the shade, A well-worn pathway had been made By children, hurrving home from school, Mude 'gainst all measurenient or rule 1t still led up, till lost to view "Mid trees whose tops touched heaven's blue, But to the baby down below, Straight into heaven it seemed to go. For just a moment Bessic's eyes Were lighted by u glad surprise; Then turning, eried with oager nod. “Come quick] I've found tho paff to God 1" Appreciated Its Value. Detroit Freo Press: A littlo Detroit girl was bidding her boy playmate good-bye, and on this oceasion her mother told her to' kiss bim. She offered him a roguish check, and when the saluto was gravely given. began to rub it vigorously with her handkerchiof. “Why, Laura,” said her mother, “you'ro not rubbing it off " No, manima,” answered the littlo maiden demurely, “I'm rubbing it in.” Remarkable Falling Off. Chicago Tribune: Fond Parent—Birdie, how much does ‘00 love papat Birdie—T’ousan’ million pounds. Dot any tandy “Haven't any candy thi D've got u kiss for you.” “Don’t love 'oo speck!” billion cilion time, Birdie, but i First Cigar, Columbus Post: “Now, little boys, can you tell,” said aColumbus teactier, *“¢hat the effect of tobacco is upon the system (" Little Billy,who has wrestled with bis first chew, promptly held up his hand, “Well, Billy, what is the effect{? “*Makes ye wisht ye wuz dead,” ed, A ro o8ty Doli's Dressmaker, I want to tell you sbout my kitten— The prettiest Kitten thut ever purred; But D've looked my speller through and through, And 1 cau’t discover a single word That rhymes with kitten, Ixceoting mitton— And that Is old and too absurd, o the only thing for mo to do Is just to send you what I've written, And wait tll she grows to be u cat There are over so many to rhyme with that, Bright for Bessie, Philadelphia Record: “Bessie,” said papa, “won't you huve a little pieco ' of this chicken ' “No, thank you," said Hessie, “What! no chicken " “Oh, yes. DIl have chicken, but dom't want a little plece.” A Misinterpreted Roar. Burdetto: Wila-Eyed Father—For mer- cy’'s sake, whatever ails the baby that he yells 5o like all possessed Foud Motner —Poor little ting teeth, Mollitied Fatbher—Is that allt though be was filing the saw, sllow; he is cut Sounded as STORIES TOLD BY MEN. NATURE'S DISTILLERY, Cahill of tho Oakland (Cal.) s the overflow fn the Colorado lor. Ho tells an Examiner reporter this startling talo: “Afted 1 had negiected to make a fortuno in manus factu ring wine after the Kilkenny theory fn Ana heim, urgent necessity and the sherift mude me move on. So, with nothing much on my mind or my back, I went over to an Apache rescryation in Arizonn to live on_an olu Triuity eollego friend who was an Indian ageut. & found my chum in & stato of alurmed surprise. His Indians were al drank and he hadn't sold them any liguor, Aud ugain, still more stranwe to relate, ine stead of being fighting drunk, with a desire for scalps and wutilation, they were us please nutly Jugzed us a beery crowd at n turne bezirk. The agent and [ spent three days in try ing to discover the source of supply, bud all wo could et out of tho lniians was Editor Tribune, s desert isn't much of a wor Umph! Big drunk como aenin.” HAT last, however, by giving A half-tipsy wterpeeter and a rolling scout a Lox of care tridges and seven ved pokor chips, they une bu Cuiselves onough o suy: “Cum them ubout tureo into the bad lanas. There wo found u milo aeross with a fring Liaians around its entiro ma ‘cum seed’ after had ever beon seen thore befor The water was of a light brown color and exhuled a pleasing odor which could be smelled w mile away. Tho intorpreter dip- ped up some of it and offered 1t to us to drink, It was liquor —good, hard stuff —something like the poteen of my boyhood's days. You don’t beliove it, ehil - Why, the phenomenon is easy enough ‘of scientiiic oxplanation, In pre-historic ages all that country was thickly covered with the cactus from which mescal is distillod. The growth was covered with wator and mud in time, and the heat and mical forcos of the earth's intorior worlk- ed upon it the process of distillation some- thing as gas and oil aro formed beneath the carth's crust. Then somo *drastic lift of pent volcanic fires’ heaved it up to meet the air, It was o whisky geysor, for it all dissppeared within o month —just as the agentaud 1 were arrauging to pipe it into Phanix,” . WELL WEIGHTED, When Colonel Bob Ingersoll was in Europs last, suys the Louisville Commorciil, he visit~ od Westminstor Abboy for the first timo. As he was contemplating the tomb of Nelson, the guide said; “That, sir, his the tomb of the greatest nuval 'ero Europe or the whole world hover knew—Lord Nelson's. Tho marble sarcou- gohgus weizhs forty-two tous. Hinside that his a steel receptacle woighing twelvo tons, Hinside that his & leaden casket,'ermotrically sealed, weighing two tons. Hinside that is a muhogany coflin ‘olding the hashos of the great 'ero.” “Well,” said the colonol, after thinking awhile, “1 guess you'vo got' him. If he over iets out of that, cuble me at my expease.” e Wanamaker as a Noy. “Postmaster-General Wanamaker is a very clever man,” said Merle Middleton, a well- known iron and steel broker of Philadelphia 10 & Chbicago Herald reporter. ““He has been clever ull his life and made bis first hit when amere lad, There is an incldent told avout him when he was employed as anoffice boy for a large fivn. He was seut out one duy 1o collect a bill from an establishment which was considered unsound financial! The debtors gave young Wanamaker a chock for #i5. He went to the bunk to get the money and was told that there wero not enough funds to meet tue demands of the paver, “If wo cashed this check,’ said the teller, ‘the firm's account would be overdrawn. We do not care to du that.” “*How much does it lack? said the lad. +Just §2.75. +“‘Here is £2.75, spoko up the boy imme- diaely. ‘Put that to the firn’s credit. Then cash this check.” ““T'he money was obtained,” concluded Mr, Middleton, “and the boy mado & big hit, for the firm fuiled next day.” . e LOW NECK CLAMS. Ex-Governor Hourd is ono of the best story tellers in the country, says a writer in the "Cincinati-Commerciul. 1 was in the party with him on the receut trip to Galena when the Grant monument was unveiled and e entertained crowds in the smoking- room going ana coming. His fund of storics seemed inexhaustible. One of them that made a great hit with the erowd is thus told in the Chicago Tribune: I will reproduce his words as nearly us I can remembor themt “1was down utalittle clambake in New Jersey last summer and after dinuer, was catled on to make a speech. I stavied off by saying that I had eaten so many of their low- neck clums that I wasn’t in the best sort of coudition to mako u speech. When I used the expression ‘low-neck’ clums, an old chap sittiog directly across from mo, whose fuco was long enough to enable him to eat oats out of a churn, scowled at me and then said in a stage whisper: ‘Littlo neck clams, littla necks —not Jow necks.’ I paid no attention to the interruption, and tinished my specch, When dinuer was over he trailed me out into the ball and said: *You are from Wisconsin, ain't you ! “+Yes," I replied. “iYou dou't have any clams up there, [ ckou ¢ ‘SWell,' I said, ‘we have some, butit'sa good ways to water and in driving them across the country thaie feet get sore, and they don’t thrive ‘weil.” “He guve me u look that was worth §1.50, and inatone of the utwost disgust saidi ‘Lord! clums uin't got no feet ! “He turned away, und, approaching one ot my friends inquired: ‘Is that fellow gove evnor of Wisconsin Yes,' replicd my friend. *Weael-l' drawled the old man, with a gooa deal of fecling, ‘he may be a — smarg man iv Wisconsin, but he is a —— —— fool on the seashore,’ 7 Py TOO MUCH PEDIGREE, QThe fact that a maa’s public record, evon when praiseworthy, is not always o Sour.a of strength to him as a candidate, writcs a New York World Washington correspondent, was once entertainingly discussed by John A. Logun and I, John Ellis on a fast railroad truin between here and New York, after General Logian had been defested for the vice-presidency. The two wen, though wida apurt politically, were personally on cordial terms, and on the occasion mentioned wera talking freely to each other. “Why is if, John,” asked General Logan in a musing wav, “that things go as they some- times do in politicst Take my case. 1 had a good record. I had stoud B my party in congress, aud bad done what I could when the appeul was to arms, and yet it availed ma nothing on that national ticket," “Gen replicd the witty and brilliant Louisiunian, ‘“you gentlemen with long records, 1o mutter how sound and good, ara at a disudvantage, like an old baboon, The baboon, you kuow, when young, uses his tail in climbing, but when he gets old his tail, which has grown longer and has stiffencd, rcomes & source of weukness to him. He can neither climb with it nor drag it after him. So with the old politician and s long record. Ho can neither climb with it nor drug it after him, 1t is oo long and u source of weaknoss to him, . General Logan laughed until his sides uched atthe comparison. He declared that nothing he had heard sinco his defeat had given bim s0 wuch genuine comfort, SENATOR PALMER'S MODESTY. Back in Dotroit they tell a pleasing little story of Scnator Palmer's modesty. The senator was coming into town from his neigh boving farm on an electric car and be ie interested in o little woman who sat next him with s big oundlo ou her lup, At the end of the car's route the senator ruised his hat to the little womun_and said: “Ah| madam, permit me.” She handed over the bundie and followed out of the car. The senator hadn't gone very far before he ex- claimed : “Why, madum, this is a baby, isn't it he womuo auswered that it wus a baby *Boy or girl?" “Girl," she auswered. “Well, madam, when this little girl has grown to uu age when she can comprehend what it ull means, you might tell her that when she was very young she was carried 1o the arms of President Palmer of the Worlu's Fuair,