The Nonpartisan Leader Newspaper, July 25, 1921, Page 12

Cut and Dried WHY FARMERS FAIL (No. 3) On old Bill Dent’s farm No rain did fall, And poor Bill’s crop—it Was none at all. But he sold his teams, Did honest old Dent, “And the banker got His 10 per cent. ® * * ‘The man suing’ for divorce who swore in his complaint against his wife that he had cooked his own breakfast for 20 years, must have been pretty hungry by the time it was done. * % % IN BAD SHAPE A “C. & D.” fan sends us a clip- ping from a country paper, same be- ing a letter from a delinquent sub- scriber who wrote the editor as fol- lows: “If this was judgment day and you had to meet your God as unpre- . pared as I am to meet your bill, you would go to hell sure.” s 4 TWO LAMBS ""He gamboled, he gamboled, He gamboled all around, - In and out the town; He gamboled till the Butcher cut him down. He gambled, he gambled, On the price of wheat, Thought the bears he’d beat; He gambled till they Cleaned his pockets neat. * * * An imperialist says that the United ‘States must have the biggest navy in the world. So Uncle Sam can show his teeth if any other nation gets funny. But our aviation experts claim battleships are obsolete, and no other nations would be afraid of a showing of false teeth * * T’S ALL COTTON Little Bo-Peep has lost her sheep and don’t know where to find them—and our new suit wouldn’t threw any light on the mystery. ‘ & * * THE REAL REASON WHY SOME “BATHING BEAUTIES” SIT ON THE BEACH AND NEVER GO IN IS BECAUSE THEIR COLOR RUNS. : * & ¥ “Did your wife accept you the first time you proposed ?” “Yes, but it was the only proposal I ever made. which she accepted.” * * * 4 - WASN'T ON HIM Jones—“Say, I got a good one on you. You better pull down your win- dow shades. Last; night I saw you kissing your wife.” Smith—“Haw, haw. It’s'a joke on you. I wasn’t home last night!” e Girls, just before a dance, are like arrows—all in a quiver and waiting for a beau (bow). * * * Now that the Dempsey-Carpentier battle is over, and there are prospects of peace in Ireland, newspaper read- ers who enjoy fights are hoping the" Stillmans won’t soon settle their fam- ily troubles. % * 3 : CAUTIOUS 3 The little boy had heard a joke. “Father,” he said, as dad and mother were at breakfast, “why does a chlck- en cross the road'?" “Why do you ask me?” he ,demand- g.d. “I never look at chickens.” - A NEW DANGER “I wonder why you don’t love me as much as you used to, dear,” she sighed. “You don’t know how to vamp me - any more,” he answered. “I’'ve tried every possible way to hold your love,” she came back. “I know, I know, but you have so much competition,” he answered. “Why even today a girl flirted with me.” “Was she a vamp ?” “No, she was a woman politician.” * * * THE BEAN-SPILLING CONTEST BETWEEN ADMIRAL SIMS AND- COLONEL HARVEY SEEMS TO BE A TIE. * ok % Daddy bought Willie a toy tennis racket. Willie insisted on having it placed within his sight, on a nearby shelf, when he went to bed. The first thing he said in- the morning was: “Mama, hand me my NOISE.” * * * 3 BEASTLY GAME A sports writer says that Carpen- tier’s cat-like agility did not save him, though he made a dogged fight and had Dempsey cowed for a while in the second round. * % % Governor Preus of Minnesota says the farmer gets much from the “capitalist system.” Yes, he gets the “pit” and “stéem.” The edible part goes to big business. * * * IN DOUBT Geraldine—“I don’t know whether to marry John because he is thrifty, or break our engagement because he is a tightwad.” Edith—“Why ?” Geraldine— ‘Well he hired a tax1 to give me a ride in the park, and proposed to me after we had ridden two blocks. When I accepted he im- mediately dismissed the taxi and we walked the rest of the way.” * % % “Free beer” tvas the slogan of the anti-prohibition parade recently held in New York, but if there had been a parade with “free speech” as a slogan the police would have stopped the demonstration. * * * TAKE YOUR CHOICE Winter Fires to take care of and ashes to' re- move. Coal profiteers. Twenty below zero. Harding president. Congressmen mak- ing speeches at home. Mosquitoes, flies. H. C. L. flowers to sprinkle. Ice profiteers. Hundred in shade. Harding president. Congressmen mak- ing speeches at Wash- ington. Snow to shovel. H C. L * * * GOOD RIDDANCE Those who criticize President Hard- ing’s appointment of Colonel Harvey as ambassador to Great Britain and of General Wood to a mission in the Philippines should consider that at least the United States has been re- lieved of the presence of both gentle- men. TR R o Why is a sick lodging-house guest like unconfirmed scandal? One is an ill roomer and so is the other, only you spell it “rumor.” Help! Police! * * * A MAN WHO DOESN’T INDULGE IN FLATTERY IS CONSIDERED A WOMAN-HATER BY SOME OF THE FAIR SEX. £ % % The appointment of Taft to the su- preme court-adds great weight to that body. About 300 pounds. e < » R N A A T AR RS AT el ot 2 e ok : RESOLUTIONS Editor Nonpartisan ILeader: In- closed please find a copy of a resolu- tion adopted at the last meeting of the Bronson Farmers’ club which we would like to have you publish in the next issue of the Nonpartisan Leader. Hoping you will publish the mclos- ed resolution, we are, Yours very truly, BRONSON FARMERS’ CLUB, By Emil Hallgren, Secretary. Bronson, Minn. “Whereas, we sympathize with the progressive farmers of North Dakota and the work of the Nonpartlsan league; and “Whereas, we realize the fight the common people have at hand to de- - feat the big interests in the coming North Dakota recall election; there- fore be it, “Resolved, that we show our sym- pathy to those pioneers of progressive movements by purchasing a $100 bond of the elevator and mill series of the state of North Dakota; be it further, “Resolved, that copies of these reso- lutions be published in the Bronson Budget, the People’s Press and the Nonpartisan Leader. “BRONSON FARMERS’ CLUB. “Carl Ronnander,, President. “Emil Hallgren, Secretary.” - WROTE K. C. STAR Editor Nonpartisan Leader: I sup- pose you are aware that the Kansas City Star is one of the most vicious slanderers of the Nonpartisan league in the country. Well, I sent the edi- tor of the Star the report of that com- mittee that was sent from Kansas to investigate the League in North Da-_ kota, and asked him if he would be kind enough to publish it in the Weekly Star and let his readers know the truth about North Dakota, the Nonpartlsan league and “Townley- ism.” I said: “If you would send a staff correspondent to Bismarck who is not utterly blind to the, truth you would not have your paper loaded down with false statements and misrepresenta- tions.” Of course he never published the re- port, nor my letter. I didn’t even re- ceive the courtesy of a reply. Yours for the great work you are doing for the “backbone of the nation.” > G. W. MORRISON. Boise, Idaho. * New, Fresh Stock, Non-Skid ..$ 6.95 95 1.50 1.50 1.95 1.95 1.95 until you look them over. Buy Tires at Your Own Prices " These high grade 7,500-mile Non-Skid tires are being sac- rificed in order to raise the ready cash. 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Don’t pay for your tires Minneapolis, Minn, GRAIN Send for Circular Scobey, Montana PAGE THIRTEEN ® “It Can’t Help but Help Save Grain” . Automatic Fan Blast Co. i SAVER Mention the Leader When “Writing Advertisers ;