The Nonpartisan Leader Newspaper, May 30, 1921, Page 13

- Pioneer = lDeg Medicines 118 West 31st Street, New Y . ADVERTISEMENTS fl " m igtf (I @%@%&a Sold in .10 Days in Minneapolis Pounds for (Steel Cut or Bean) 75c We want to give our out-of-town customers the advantage of this most sensational bargain. This is the same Wltt’s Cafe Special we have been selling at 40 cents a pound.. Send in your check or money order at once. Include postage. Satisfaction absolutely guaranteed. ,,Auto Owners WANTED! To introduce the best auto- mobile tires in the world. Made under our new and ex- clusive Internal Hvdraulic Expansion Processthat elimi- nates Blow-Out—otone-Bruise— Rim Cut and enables us to sell our tires under a 10,000 MILE | GUARANTEE We want an agent in every community to use and intro- duce these wonderful tires at our astonishingly low prices to all motor car owners. FREE TIRES forYOUROWNCAR to a representative in each community. Write fgr booklet fully describing this new process and explaining our amazing intro. ductory offer to owner agents. Hydro-United Tire Co. Dept. 149 Chicago or Philadelphia BOOK ON DOG DISEASES And How to Feed H. CLAY GLOVER CO., Inc., BARB WIRE REEL PRICE REDUCED TO .. $4 25 43 A 12- yeur old child can work it 100 1bs. o . bunds4 ft. hlgh Tukes on 12 ft. of wire at| one revolution, nuts and take out reel. Replace same way. If your| dealer cannot supply you, I will send C. O. byl parcel post at. speclal re- duced price of $4.25, ana| Dostal charges. Satisfac-{ '§ tion guaranteed. Dealers wautcd. W. F. HARBAUGH 520-522 Tenth Ave. South¥ed Minneapolis, Minn, % TENTS AND TARPAULINS 2,000 used army tenh which were gunhased from e U. S. Governmen Army tecent'; %ex{)m m}lchs $20. 00 to Army _ten: eacl Boy Scout tents, each Tarpaulins, new, 12x16, each ,. Tarpaulins, used, 9x15, each . These tents and tarpaulins are m:\de of 1" -ounce duck, which is much heavier th-u: the ordinary tent., BARRETT & ZIMMERMAN _ MIDWAY HORSE MARKET St. Paul, Minn. Catch Fish, 5 e umbers, with the Gal d 8 N hant Hine g]l o a iy ira allsizes. Wri l’or emr?gl:?hfioellat Md(r!og bookies.on bost bl ) for BLLracting all iade of fish, J.F, t. 255 ubnu.lc. « Nt ) Cut and Dried OUR OWN INTELLIGENCE TESTS HOMAS A. EDISON, the elec- trical wizard, asks applicants for employment in his laboratories a series of questions about the relative humidity in India, the specific gravity of helium and how many mothers-in-law Henry the Eighth had. These tests are to determine the in- telligence of the applicant. Here are some questions. that we respectfully submit as more likely to show the presence of gray matter and ability to use.it: If a farmer ships a carload of sheep and the price he gets is $5 short of being enough to pay his freight bill, how long will it take him to become a millionaire ? If wheat drops 10 cents a bushel after the passage of a tariff for the benefit of farmers, what will happen when congress passes a tariff for the _benefit of manufacturers? If California lemon growers can’ afford to pick their fruit, because the freight rate to New York is twice the selling price, who gets the lemon? If 10 pounds of cotton, costing $1.50 to produce, are sold by the grower for $1, and make 60 yards of cloth, sold back to the farmer for 45 cents a yard who is getting rich? If Germany brought the world war on herself by bemg too militaristie, how long are we going to avoid war with a navy twice as large as Ger- many’s ? If a Republican, a- Democrat and a Socialist, all believing in the same re- forms, go to the polls and vote against each other, how long is it going to -take them to get the reforms? CT M S Chicago woman left $8,000 to ker dog. If the dog dies we pre- sume her husband will get it. * ¥ * THE DISTINCTION Wages—Something paid you for what you do. Salary—Something paid you for telling somebody else what to do. Income—Something paid you for what your father did. * * * Do you remember when they used to use yeast for bread-mak- ing? * * * Agents for the packers and grain gamblers say that operation of their businesses without government con- trol or restrletlons is “thoroughly American.” Negro slavery was also American once, * % % The trouble with Mr. Stillman seems to have been that he didn’t live up to his name. * x % President Harding says he is in favor of “approximate disarmament.” An old toper, after taking his first drink of “near beer” said, “Whoever named that was certamlv a rotten judge of distance.” How good a judge is Harding ? R Dear Cut and Dried: Can any of your readers solve the following prob-, lems: First—Wheat a dollar a bushel, rye three pecks, how many potato peel— ings will it take to shingle a meeting’ house ? Second—If merchants, 100-per-cent American, sell eggs to poor hungry people for 30 cents per dozen cash, while the farmer receives only 18 cents in trade, how many thieves can be hung to each mile of . telephone poles? . ~ HENRY FUNKLEY. Bemidji, Minn. i PAGE FOURTEEN * SAW AND SKIPPED The politician who was running for re-election called upon a Quaker fam- ily and asked the wife, who came to the door, to see her husband. - “Have a seat and'my husband w111 see thee,” the Quaker lady responded. The politician waited for several . minutes but the husband did not show up “I thought you said your huqband would see me,” he said. = “He has seen thee,” responded the Quaker lady, “but he did not like thy looks so he went z*motEer way.” Cotton is king. And is in about the same position as most of the kings at present. * k% “That was a great speech of yours in favor of the sales tax, Senator Sorghum,” said a constituent. - “It has me fully convinced except for one trifling detail.” “And what is that?” senator. “That is, how is it going to help me to pay mcreased prices for everything I buy?’ “Ah, well,” returned the senator, “no leglslatlon is 100-per-cent per- feet.” asked the * * * . Mr. Rockefeller’s favorite verse in the Bible is said to be, “Let there be light.” x % % SOMEBODY LOST IT A professor in the university re-" cently had a case of typhoid fever. After a long illness he recovered suf- ficiently to take an interest in world affairs again and one morning a2sked to see the daily paper. The nurse gave him one which happened to have one of President Harding’s speeches in it. A half hour later the nurse return- ed to the room and found the profes- sor in tears. “I must have lost my mind,”: he moaned to the nurse, “this stuff looks like English but I've read it and read it and I can’t make a word of sense out of it.” * * * 7 The workers who voted for “a full dinner pail” have it, It is full of air, * * * The “open shop” in practice is open at one end to let nonunion men in and at the other er:‘d to let union men out. * L3 ? And it used to be that when. they discovered a female baby was bowlegged they .said, “She’s a girl, so it doesn’t make any dif- ference.” ¥ ok % Wall Street Journal says the busi- ness men built the churches and there- fore should be allowed to dictate the doctrines preached there. But who built the business men? 3 * * ok DEFINITION Politichl stagnation—A nation with- out woman suffrage. * k% THE NEW FREEDOM < Free beer and free silver went long ago. Free love seems to be confined to the leaders of our financial and po- litical worlds, and free speech is fast fading away. Free air seems to be about all that is left. This may be secured in two varieties—cold at gaso- line stations and hot at political meet- ings. You have to be an automobile owner to get any benefit from the first - varxety and a poor fish to get any en- Joyment from the second. 7