The Nonpartisan Leader Newspaper, January 21, 1918, Page 10

i 1 i} I H £ i f i sines of the times indicate that he'll time to cum. But he iz improvin’ an’ the seven doctors an’ nine nurses all admit that he iz lingerin’ near deth’s door, but believe he’ll pull thru—I hope 'EER Mistur Editur:—Crafty is D still in the horspittal—an’ the be thar fur sum he pulls thru the door! But he iz havin’ a hard time uv it. Sum uv the time he iz outen hiz hed and sum uv the time he iz in it. Sum times he talks az sensible az he ever did an’ then agin he raves and mumbles like a man that iz noncompusmentus—an’ I think he iz. That saim nite after he kerflumixed in the hotel an’ wuz tuck to sed hors- pittal Slipery an’ Dodger cum in— cum in frum a two-hundred-mile drive out in the country. I happened to be in the hotel office when thay drove up, rushed in an’ ast for Crafty. When the clerk tole them that he had jist bin taken to the horsplttal thay both turned az pail az this paper I'm writen on an’ dropped into cheers like sacks uv brand. Dodger wuz not az badly affeckted az Slipry wuz. nearly in az bad a fix as Crafty wuz an’ I begin to think we wud have another race to the horspittal. Dodger sune recovered hiz equiliberium an’ got it to ballancein’ good an’ then I seed him smile a sort uv a sinical smile jist az tho he shud wurry. “I tole you not to brake the nuze to him so suddenly,” sed Slipry, sorter reproachin’ Dodger. “I node he wuz in no condishun to stand a hard shock like that.” Dodger only smiled that sinical " smile uv hiz an’ chewed away at his stubby mustash. SLIPRY TELLS OF PLAN THAT FAILED Then, thinkin’ I mite offer sum cum- fort an’ konsolashun to ’em, I careless- ly walked over an’ tole ’em who I wuz" an’ that I had cum thar with Crafty an’ that I wuz on the inside uv his skeems, etc., an’ so forth, et setra. Dodger wuz mity glad to see me, so he sed an’ acted but Slipry sorter looked at me askance an’ ackted az tho he doubted the truthfulness uv my tail. But after an hour uv mumbled con- versashun they both becum wormed up to me an’ tuck me into thur konfi- A Visit to Crafty - at the Hospital BY I. B. RIPP, the Reporter Slipry wuz_ dense gdme. Thay tole me how thay had wurked fur three months tryin’ to git sum uv the politishuns in. an’ around Denver who had ringed, streak- ed, stripped an’ speckeled reputashuns to git in with the leeders uv the Leeg —or ruther sum uv the wood-be leed- erg in this stait, an’ influance them to incorporate -an’ maik the state or- ganizashun seperate an’ independent frum the national organizashun. “You see,” ‘sed Slipry, talkin’ very konfidentially, “what we wanted wuz to git the thing in shape soze we cud drag it into court on one pretext an’ another an’ in that way discourage the members an’ cauze it to disintegrate an’ go to peaces. “You see, by bein’ incorporated we could make the members beleve that thay would be responsible fur its debts an’ not- menny of the farmers would want enny thing to do with it ef that wuz the case. Well, we jist about had the coup-de-at completed when the leeders at St. Paul got wind uv it an’ gent a man out here who tole ’em the truth. Thay tole 'em that thay node how to incorporate Leegs az well az enny body but that thay had reezons fur not incorporatin’ this one an’ the biggest reezon wuz that thay wanted to protect the members agin incessant, unendin’ an’ expensive law suits. ‘Well, when the nue incorporaters heard that you ought to seed 'em back- in’ up. Thay backed up like a ford car cumin’ down Pikes Peak hind end to. We tried to put on the brakes but thay wouldn’t hold so we jist had to let ’er slide an’ she shore slid! An’ now the hole skeem iz blocked an’ the Leeg iz goin’ ahed doin’ bizness at the - saim ole stand—an doin’ more uv it than ever.” An’ Dodger smiled anuther uv his sinical smiles an’ lowed he shud wurry, but Slipry wuz very much konsurned. “Yes, you wouldn’t give a rap ef the Leeg would sweep the country,” he sed, castin’ a witherin’ scowl at Dodger. “Why should 17" ast Dodger, shrug- gin’ hiz shoulders an’ rollin’ hiz segar to the uther side uv hiz mouth. “It aint my munny we're spendin’ an’ thar seams to be plenty more whur this cums frum. All I'm out fur iz the munny—an’ that’s all enny uv you air out fur—but you won’'t admit it an’ I Slipry wuz very oneazy an’ went back to the bed and Iongln'ly ‘looked into hlz ] palld face. " chance. “Stop 'er, hed 'er off, stop ’er, hed ’er off,” said Crafty. will—that’s the difference. If the Leeg could pay me az much az Big Biz doze I'd just az leave work fur it, an’ ef it could pay me more I'd ruther - —that’'s me. I'm out fur the coin an’ am goin’ to git it while the gittin’s good.” “PRINCIPLE” IS WHAT SLIPRY STANDS FOR “Yes, but the gittin’ won’t be so good ef this Leeg keeps on like its - bin goin’,” complained Slipry. “its -goin’ to put the kibosh on all this ezey mun- ny stuff ef it keeps on.” “Oh Slip, you don’t know what you're talkin’ about,” cum back Dodger. “Aint we maid more munny sinst this Leeg started than we ever maid before? Shore we have. The harder the fite the more munny Big Biz spends an’ the more willin’ an’ freely he spends it. Why ef the Leeg should die you an’ me would like az not be outen jobs, that’'s what we wood. But I don’t expect nuthin’ like that to happen sune fur I'm tellin’ you that Big Biz iz goin’ to fite to the last ditch an’ spend hiz last dollar, ef it iz necessary, an’ when he- gits the last one spent it won’t be necessary to fite enny more—thar won’t be ennything to fite fur.” " “Well, that’s one way uv lookin’ at it,” admitted Slipry, “but I don’t like to look at it that way. I like to look at it frum the stan’pint uv principle . ar’ not frum the stan’pint uv—uv—uv —jist graft.” “Well, look at it frum enny stan’pint you .wan* to an’ its graft just the same,” replied Dodger, still sarcastic- ally. “You know az well az I know that we haint goin’ to hed this Leeg off—we jist try to. maik ourselves think we air—that iz sum uv us do, but not me. I know an’ have node frum the start that thar wuz no I used to tell Crafty that up at Bigbizmarck, before the Leeg wuz three months old, but he wouldn’t listen to me—an’ now look at him! He's broke hiz helth down, run hizself crazy an’ landed in the horspittal. An’ its lucky that its horspittal instid uv insane asylum or penitentiary.” The mention of Crafty put the idee into Slipry’s hed that we ought to go over to the horspittal an’ see how he wuz gitten along, so we went. CRAFTY NEEDS PLENTY OF REST AND SLEEP As we walked quietly into hiz room the nurses all put thur fingers to thur mouths an’ sed ‘shs-s-s-s!’ jist like a lot uv geese. The doctors—thar wuz three uv ’em at the bedside—looked solemn an’ meloncholly. - We crept around to the foot uv the bed an’ thar wuz poor Crafty stretched out like a butchered baer, hiz ize half clozed, sorter waivin’ llke. Tt ‘hiz -lips sorter movin’ an’ hiz lmns ; duty to spring it—ILIFF (cox.o) “Skeem all shot to L, skeem all shot to L,” he wuz sayin’ in 1low tones. “Skeem all shot to L, skeem all shot to L,” he went on repeatin’. Then he stopped an’ hiz eyelids fluttered like the wings uv a young burd jist learnin’ to fly, all wuz quiet fur about a min- nit—— “Stop ’er, stop ’er, hed ’er off, hed ’er off—woah, woah, woah,’ he broke in, waivin’ hiz han’s vigerously, hiz ize a-starin’ like the ize uv a mad man. “Yonder she cums, yonder she cums,” he went on. “Hed ’er off, hed ‘er off, fur the luve of God hed ’er off,” an’ he raized up in the bed, waivin’ hiz han’s an’ stairin’ into the distance an’ seein’ nuthin’. FThe doctors, an’ nurses seized him by the han’s an’ feet while he strug- gled like a fish on a san’ bar an’ then sank back onto the bed. By this time one uv the doctors stepped up an’ shot sumthin’ into his arm an’, winkin’ at one uv the nurses, remarked that that would sune clam him down. An’ shore anuf it did. He had one or two more spells, each one lighter than the uther an’ finally sunk into a deep slumber, but hiz lips kept movin’ an’ he kept whisperin’; “Hed ’er off, hed er off, boys, hed ’er off!” Then one uv the doctors took us aside an’ explained to us that Mr. Crafty wuz only temporary nocked out —that hiz nerves wuz all shot to flinder and that he only needed a few day’s rest an’ he would be hiz ole self agin’. He told us that he had evident- ly bin undergoin’ a turible nervus strain an’ had bin loosin’ lots uv sleep an’ that what he needed wuz rest an’ quiet. But Slipry wuz very oneazy an’ went back to the bed, took holt uv - Crafty’s han’ an’ looked longin ly into hiz palid face. (P Then we all went down town an’ Dodger suggested that we go to a movie show—which we did. It wuz a grate show—one uv them Keystone Komodies, an’ I laft an’ laft till my sides ached an’ ached, but Slippery never seamed to injoy it a bit, but ap- peared to be worryin’ about Crafty. But it wuz shorely funny: Yours truly, RIPP, (To be continued in a subsequent issue) “WANTS TO BE SHOWN Certain exchanges continue to refer to the unpatriotic and disloyal utter- ances of A. C. Townley, president of the Nonpartisan league. This paper is honestly curious to read some of his speeches that’ are unpatriotic or. dis- loyal. If any of our exchanges are in possession -of anything of the kind they certainly owe it to the public to ‘print them so we may all know just / what kind of a man Townley is. If you haye the goods, it is certainly your