Lakeland Evening Telegram Newspaper, October 14, 1914, Page 2

PAGER TWO BEING LEGALLY DEAD —_—— By ARTHUR LE BOUTILLIER. (Copyright, by Dalily Story Pub. Co.) “O’ course I did,” answered the one nddressed. “I seen him as clost as I am to you, Mary Mulligan. He come up to Toozy Ann Bugle's door an' was talkin’ awful strong to her, an’ she a tellin’ him as how he were dead an’ me an’ she'd have nothin’ more to o with him. Then he begun stormin’ away 'till Eddie Casey come out an’ druv him off, sayin’ he didn't want no old corpses botherin’ round the ave- pue. This mornin’ he told me brother, | Jimmy Kennedy, he’d come back an’ have the law of 'em an’ get his rights.” Without saying a word to his wife or giving the glightest hint of his in- tentions, Mr. Bugle had simply walked away one flne morning and never come back. Toozy Ann—the pop- ular rendering of her baptismal name | Arethusa Annita—shed tears, as be- came her sex, and, after fruitlessly wisiting the morgue several times andi mentioning the matter at the police ntation, settled down to do the best khe could alone. ' As year after year passed by and her husband did not return, Toozy Ann gave up all idea of ever seeing him pauin, and consulted Father Peter of ' e chapel, and a legal gentleman who collected rents on the avenue, as to whether she might marry again. She was told that according to law, in peven years she might consider her husband dead and have all the privi- Jeges of widowhood, and also claim the Pew hundred dollars life insurance that had been carried by him for her ben-! efit. The necessary formalities having been complied with, Toozy Ann, who had been made ‘“executor” as she called it, accepted the attention of Mr. Eddie Casey of the coal yard; the, wedding day was set, and the guests, | 'ed Eddie Casey. | front row. | wor. THE EVENING TELEGRAM LAK ®UAND, FLA, OCT. 14, 1914. 4 e i ! “Here 1 am, the widow of & corpse and to the station, where they were put, [ him not dead nor buried, but comin’ under bond to appear before the mag- back and wantin’ his property. The coort said he was dead an’ he himself says he’s livin’ an’ comin’ round every blessed minute to have his rights. With Eddle Casey wantin’ to beat him with & club, an’ when I have me new ! clothes all bought an’ elegant new fur- niture for me sittin’ room presented to me by me new husband an’ every | one an’ all invited,” and Toozy wept i coplously into the corner of her blue checked apron. 1 “My daughter,” said the priest sooth- ingly, “it's a painful thing to have al deceased husband return in the mortal flesh, and especially a great tribulation , to those about to marry with the bless- i ing of the church. Moreover, it may be I'll have to get a dispensation to complete the bans.” ! “Thank your reverence, " sald Toozy, whose lamentations had prevented her from hearing distinctly. “If you'll get me the dispensary I have the band al- | ready. Didn’t I engage a dago to bring himself an’ another Eyetalian with his siddle for the dancin’. An’ to think o’ me in me beautiful white—" A tremendous uproar at the street door interrupted her, and running with Father Peter to the window, she saw the defunct and her betrothed strug- . gling about the pavement, surrounded | by most of the youthful Corinthian ' court population, who encouraged them with shrill hoots and shouts of derision; while Toozy’s canary in the window burst into joyful song, as it thanking heaven for a fight. | “Come out o' that, ye hyena!” shout- “What do ye vnnti rubberin’ in where ye don't belong for?” “Let me go, you thief!” angrily ro-l torted Mr. Bugle. “I want me prop- perty, an’ me wife what's been longin’ for me for seven year an’ more.” “Longin’ fer ye, ye old deserter!” piped up the little sparrow-faced wom- | an, who had edged her way into the “It's & good riddance ye An’' yer dead—dead as Noah in the ark. There's Father Peter in the windy, ask him if ye ain’t a corpse. | venture, calls out to them, ‘You're a Him an’ the coort says yer dead an’ who inoluded all the inhabitants of the buried long ago.” uvenue, bidden to the festivities. 8o when the long-lost Mr. Bugle had unexpectedly turned up on the night before, his return was looked upon with great disfavor by the Corinthians, who considered that they had not only been defrauded of a wake by the un- but might also be deprived of a wedding usual manner of his decease, by his untimely resurrection. After the unexpected visit of her deceased husband, poor Toozy passed wakeful night of tears and perplexi- £y, and was glad to welcome Father eter at an early hour in the morn- ing. “Oh, Father Peter, it's a sinful trib- ulation I'm in.” wailed Toozy Ann SOBPOD GO SSESSSPEENS S PSS B IS DB SpHPE G “The coort be dam!" ejaculated the | judge. deceased one. “What did I dle of? i HOPL {strate in the morning for a settle- ment. | The result may be gathered from the account given by Toozy to the Corinthians at her wedding supper, which took place according to sched- ule the following evening. “Is he dead sure enough, Toozy Ann?” asked one of the guests. | “Sure he was when he walked out o' the court,” answered Toozy. “We; was all up there together, an’ when the judge came in everybody stood up, an’ he orders them to bring out the criminals for trial.” [ “Finally me old man, me first hus-; band I would say, stood up and say: he’s defrauded out of his property an’ his only wife. An’ the lawyer of the coort asks him where he was for seven | year an’ better, and does he know he'’s dead accordin’ to law.” ] “‘l were just seekin’ my fortune,’| says he, ‘beyond the seas, he says, ' ‘an’ I see no signs of me disease,’ he says. “Then they asks Father Peter is he dead or no, an’ Father Peter says to the best of his knowledge an’ belief an’ accordin’ to the coort he's dead an’ buried. : “With that me old man, that is me | first one, wants to know is he dead for certain; an’ they tells him he is, sure enough. ! “So he says, ‘How can ye arrest a corpse? Where's the coroner? says The Brinley % back. L2232 BT RLE2S2at Sublal Budtul SulBuL:2udLRD D L L2t 2ut it Bul BulSulBut SulSuts BRI RIBL Just received, a con}plete line of 10 ard 12 inch on: is sold with a guaran Phone No. 340 HEBRORO 3 ¢ MODEL HARDWARE ¢ - C.E. TODD, M. $OEOFIPOROI0 & 0P PP PP PFOPOICBOESLIOL0 he. ‘He’s the only one to dale with [ the remains of the departed,’ he 8aY8. | 3 o355 fo the health o' the dead an’ ‘An’ how can ye touch me, even if . gone, he says. An' with that he do nfurdor :r arson or any other crime, .18 out o' coort, ’-}" no one dast be‘l‘n dead? | stop him nor say a word. It was like ; okvglllle:i ':; sald ‘:‘“ the DOHC(:I:&D they was all—what's the word again?” O nd o' scart, an’ one o' them! «prypk” suggested one of the com- whispers to another, ‘What is this, any- ! & pany. how? An’ the judge scratches his lit-| ~ «No not drunk. Par—pary—" tle chin whisker an’ looks in & blg| «pyrayzed.” book; while the lawyers all whispers . “Yes, that's it. An’ the judge told together. I felt kind o' creepin’ me- gy’ peter he could marry us ac self to think maybe I was hanted, an’ . ... ¢0 Jaw an’ no harm done. So none of them could say a word. “Then me old man, that is me first y,o » “Here’s | t e oorpse!” lot o' fools, anyhow!’ s U s TLLT LR B o “‘Contempt o' coort!’ hollers the steaming punch. “‘It ain’t!’ shouts me old man. ‘How | And all joined in the tonst. Where's me stificate if I'm & corpse? | can a dead one make ye more con- Where's me hearse? Ye're all orazy | tymptible than ye are already? Look FRANCE MAKES BEST GLOVES an’ want to defraud me o' me rights. | jn yer big book ag'in an’ answer me | sulvaREsly But ye won't do ut. I'll have ye all in | that' he says. ail for purloinin’ me property, I will!” and the scuffie threatened to become general, when & policeman elbowed |, d t | Mis Wiy, through the erowd) and séising l::'yzr;l'lcatlon before all them smar Pddie Nasey and Mr. Bugle by their collars, demanded: “Now, then, what's this here trou- ble? Can’t you people be decent and behave yourselves? You're up o more devilment than the whole ward put to- gether.” ‘Whereupon he hauled the two away Accuracy Taste, Style taasis i an’ no one can be executed for the He made another rush for the door ! same crime twict. |knu’\\" but it sounded bad—‘an’ drink . MRS ODEIDETHE TIPS L SHD PEBPIISEEH SEPEFIEIPPEHIPEPPIFEPII Q) HORPOH IS »5 ) - ‘If I'm dead I'm dead, Fact Seems to Be Acknowledged, Though Germany Ils a For ! midable Rival. “Upon me word I felt proud of his | R The majority of the fine kid gloves for he put awful hard pro-'used in this country are imported posals to them altogether. Then he from France. The French consul gen- turns to Eddie Casey settin’ there kind eral in Chicago sent recently to his o' scornful, that is me present hus- government a report prepared by “the band, and says he, ‘I wish ye joy o' me widdy, an’ when ye’re married may it be a wake over me mortal cadaver’ —whatever he meant by that 1 don't who stated therein that the superfority of French kid gloves over all others is due above all to the perfection of the skins, the kids being reared in vil- me an' Eddie Casey got married any- | . France, but the factories of Stuttgart are a formidable rival. ' cried Eddie Casey, raising his glass of | principal glove importer” in that olty, | { gressman Tavenner known as the “baby wife of the con- ! gressional set,” as she is not twenty years of are Yet. ; e ———————————————temeeemeat fages by poor peasants wWho own C only a few goats and therefore take great care of them. Another reason is that in France one workman takes the prepared skin and 'manipulates it himself right up to the finished glove. the contrary, division of labor is ex-' tensive and great factories turn out in two or three hours what requires two days’ labor on the part of the French workman. In Germany, on The best kid gloves still come from Actlvities of Women. Turkish women are now taking up the study of medicine, Princess Arthur of Connaught ie an. artist of no mean &bility. Three thousand French women have asked to enroll as soldiers. Ohio is planning to turn its women prisoners into dairymalds. In Hongkong the law is that every ' household must have one cat. Mrs. E. H. Harriman hee given a large sum to the fund for supplying a meal day to the artists’ models of the Latin quarters in Paris. Mrs. Clyde Tavenner, wife of Con- of Illinois, {s Lakeland Evening Telegram The Lakeland News HAT’S what you want in your Printing, no matter whether it be on your visiting card, your little advertisirg dodger, or your big, expensive booklet. For every kind of printing we mix the above ingredients in just the right proportion. when we do it, looks just right. out errors in it, that will make you ashamed of it. Your printing, People won’t criticise it, and point The paper will be neatly and squarcly cut—and not look like it was hacked out with a handsaw. The type used will be the latest and most stylish faces; the presswork will be sucb that every letter will show up just right. Your printing won’t look pale and sickly, nor be daubed with too much ink. 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That may not wholy form to dictionary definitions, classifies the two materials prety The singing of a f stretched telephone wire acro ~open field in the autumn win ' most pleasing melody to one W an ear for the delicacy of the si But how much soften wmelodious that singing wire be if the ear is pressed against thy phione pole, so that the vib come through the wood to resd| ear, instead of directly from the Scenting the Hair A delightful way of impartinga cate scent to the hair is to let ter through in the form of stem sounds difficult, but it is not s Simply fill a small bowl with i water and pour some of your ticular perfume upon it. liquids will not mingle but if hold your head over the bl steam of the water will carry the with it and through the hair inai eatisfactory fashion. T T e O I o O3 eSS B O s p o B BB R B OO0