Evening Star Newspaper, November 1, 1931, Page 91

N, D.' C, NOVEMBER 1, 1931. — of the finest tosses I have ever witnessed. Jove a fellow just because he has a n leg. At first, no doubt, Gwladys Pendle- would feel strangely drawn to the Pim hen she saw him lying there a more or less loss. But it would not be long before other eflections crept in. 'She would ask herself if she were wise in trusting her life’s happiness to a man who dn't enough sense to leap out of the way hen he saw a car coming. She would tell her- f that if this sort of thing had happened pnce who knew that it might not go on hap- ping again and again. » And she would recoil from a married life hich consisted entirely of going to hospitals nd taking her husband fruit. She would real- ize how much better off she would be teamed with a fellow like Bertram Wooster, who, what- lever his faults, at least walked on the pavement nd looked up and down a street before he crossed it. It was, accordingly, with a merry tra-la on my lips that I let myself into the flat as Big |E began to strike 11. I rang the bell and sently Jeeves came in. Home again, Jeeves,” I said. “What has b happening in my absence? Did Miss Pen- glebury call?” “Yes, sir. About 2 o'clock.” “And left?” Dirigible for Al os Angeles as mooring officer, he has been nstrumental in the development of the stub poring mast, the mobile mooring mast and ower mooring of lighter-than-air*craft. It is hrough his developments that a great saving manpower in the handling of this type of hip has been accomplished. “Mooring is one of the most ...eresting hases in the handling of lighter-than-air t,” Capt. Rosendahl said, “because it af- ds so many possibilities for the future and is ellent training. “Fraining crews for commercial rigid air- ps such as will be used by the International Pacific Zeppelin groups is a phase that have to be looked into in the near future. probable that these crews will have to be trained, at least for the present, since hurst is the only rigid airship school in the d States.” (Provisions for such training made in the McNary-Parker bill) HE Lakehurst school is the outcome of the Navy's experience with rigid airships. of the instructors formerly were sent 0 n countries ch good officer material for commercial jps is to be found among the younger, educated officers of the Merchant Ma- Capt. Rosendahl said. “These officers y have learned the fundamentals of navi- and meteorology, which are most es- in the handling and flying of airships. necessarily belong e sea, the same janes belong to land. Weather condi- pr Jand are not favorable in many in- to airships.” airships already airworthy and weather completed, it is only a matter of time will be flying regularly over the Their development with time alone can what their future has in store. (Coprright, 1831) “At about 6, sir.” I didn't like this so much. A four-hour visit struck me & bit sinister. “And Mrs. Slingsby?” “She arrived shortly after 8 and left at 10, ke “Ah? Agitated?” “Yes, sir. Particularly when she left. She was desirous of seeing you, sir.” “Wanted to thank me brokenly, I suppose, for so courteously allowing her favorite brother a place to have his game legs in, eh?” “Possibly, sir. On ‘the other hand, she al- Juded to you in terms suggestive of disap- probation sir. ‘Feckless idiot’ was one of the expressions she employed, sir.” I couldn’t make it out. “I must Mok into this, Jeeves. Is Mr. Pim asleep?” “No, sir.” I found Lucius Pim propped up among the pillows, reading his detective story. “Ah, Wooster,” he said. “Welcome home. My sister Jooked in. She wants to have a word with you.” “And I want to have a word with her.” “Two minds with but a single thought. What she wants to talk to you about is this accident of mine. You remember that story I was to tell her—about the car driving on? Well, the understanding was, if you recollect, that I . was only to tell it if I couldn't think of some- thing better. Fortunately, I thought of some- thing much better. So I told her you did it.” “What!"” “I said it was you who did it in your car. Much more likely. I knew you would approve. I made it as easy for you as I could, saying you were a bit pickled at the time and so not to be blamed for what you did. Some fellows wouldn't have thought of that. Still,” said Lucius Pim, “I'm afraid she's none too pleased with you.” “She isn't, isn't she?” “No, she is not. And I strongly recommend you, if you want anything like a pleasant in- terview tomorrow, to sweeten her a bit.” “How do you mean, ‘sweeten her?’” “I'd suggest you send her some flowers. Shoot her in a few roses—No. 3 Hill street is the ad- dress—and it may make all the difference. My brother-in-law is due back from New York at any moment, and the danger is that Beatrice, unless sweetened, will get at him and make him bring actions against you for torts and malfeasances aud what not and get thumping damages. S0 my advice is, Gather ye rosebuds while ye may and bung them in to No. 3 Hill street. Otherwise the case of Slingsby versus Wooster will be on the calendar before you can say what-ho.” I gave the fellow a look. “It’s a pity you didn't think of all that be- fore,” 1 said. “You aren't annoyed?” said Lucius Pim, locking at me in surprise. “Oh, no!” “Splendid,” said Lucius Pim, relieved. “I knew you would feel that I had done the only possible thing. It would bhave been awful if Beatrice had found out about Gwladys. I dare say you have noticed, Wooster, that when women find themseives in a position to take a running kick at one of their own sex they are twice as rough on her as they would be on a man. “Now, you, being of the male persuasion, will find everything made nice and smooth for you. A quart of assorted roses, a few smiles, a taciful word or two, and shell have melted before you kmow where you are. Better not let Slingsby’s Soups catch you at it, however. He's very jealous where Beatrice is concerned.” HE more I thought it over, the betier that idea of sending those roses looked. Lucius Pim was not a man I was fond of—in fact, if I had had to choose between him and a cock- roach as a companion for a walking tour, the cockroach would have had it by a short head— but there was no doubt that he had outlined the right policy. Rising next morning at 10:15, I legged it off to that fiower shop in Piccadilly. I laid out a couple of quid on a sizable bouquet, sent it with my card to Hill street, and then looKed in at the Drones. It was about noon when I got back to the flat. I went into the sitting room and tried to adjust the mind to the coming interview. I stood or fell by the roses. If they sweetencd the Slingsby, all would be well., If they failed to sweeten her, Bertram was undoubtedly for it. The clock ticked on, but she did not come. After a while the suspense began to get in amongst me a bit. To divert the mind, I fetched the old putter out of its bag and be- gan to practice putts into a glass. It was while I was shaping for a trick shot that the doorbell went. I picked up the glass and shoved the putter behind the settée. I straightened the collar, pulled down the waist- coat, and managed to fasten on the face a sort of sad half smile which was welcoming without being actually jovial. It looked all right "in the mirror, and I held it as the door opened. “Mr. Slingsby,” announced Jeeves. And having spoken these words, he closed the door and left us together. For quite a time there wasn't anything in the way of chit-chat. The shock of expecting Mrs. Slingsby and find- ing myself confronted by something entirely different seemed to have affected the vocal cords. Slingsby’s Superb Soups was a Roman-em- peror-looking sort of bird, with keen, pene- trating eyes and one of those jutting chins. The eyes scemed to me to be fixed on me in a dashed unpleasant stare and, unless I was mistaken, he was grinding his teeth a trifle. However, I exerted myself to play the host. “Mr. Slingsby?” “That is my name.” “Just got back from America?"” “I landed this morning.” “Very giad to see you.” “You will not be leng.” I took time off to do a bit of gulping. I saw now what had happened. This bloke had been home, seen his wife, heard the story of the accident, and had hastened round to slip it across me. Evidently those roses had not sweetened the female of the species. The only thing to do now med to be to take a stab at sweetening the e. “Have a drink?” I said. “No!” “A cigarette?” “No!” “A chair?” “Neo!” I wemnt into the silence once more. “Don’t grin at me, sir!” I shot a glance at myself in the mirror and saw what he meant. The sad half smile had slopped over a bit. I adjusted it. “Now, sir,” said the Superb Souper, “to busi- ness. I think I need scarcely tell you why I am here.” “No. Of course. Absolutely. It’s about that little matter——" He gave a snort which nearly upset a vase on the mantelpiece. “Little matter? You consider it a little matter, do you? Let me tell you, sir, that when I find that, during my absence from the country, a man has been annoying my wife with his importunities I regard it as anything but a little matter.” “Eh?” I said. “Your wife? ‘There must be some mistake.” “There is. You made it.” “But I don't know your wife. I've never even met her.” “Bah! Do you deny you sent her flowers?” I felt the heart turn a double somersault. I began to catch his drift. “Flowers!” he proceeded. “Roses, sir. Enough of them to sink a ship.” His voice died away in a sort of gurgle, and I saw that he was staring at something be- hind me. I spun around, and there, in the door- way, stood a female. One glance was enough to tell me who she was. No woman could look so like Lucius Pim who hadn't the misfortune to be related to him. It was Beatrice, I saw all. She had left her home before the flowers arrived; she had sneaked, unsweetened, into the flat while I was fortifying the system at the Drones; and here she was. “Alexander!” said the female. “Goo!” said the Souper. Or it may have been “Coo!” Whatever it was, it was in the nature of a battle cry. The Souper’'s worst suspicions had obviously been confirmed. His eyes shone with a strange light. His chin pushed itself out an- other couple of inches. He clenched and un- clenched his fingers gnce or twice. Then, once more observing “Coo!” (or Goo) he sprang forward, trod on the golf ball I had been practicing with, and took one of the fin: tosses I Have ever witnessed. The purler of lifetime. For & moment the air seemed full of arms and legs, and then, with that nearly dislocated the flat, forced landing. And feeling I had had about oiled from the room and was in the act o ] IE‘. - practicing Russian dances. has fractured an assortment of limbs. Better go in and see.” “Very good, sir.” “If he is the wreck I imagine, put him in my room and send for a doctor. The fiat is filling up nicely with the various units of the Pim family and its con .ections, eh, Jeeves?” “Yes, sir.” “I, personally, Jeeves,” I said, opening the front door and pausing on the threshold, “am off to Paris. I will wire you the address, Notify me in due course when the place is free from Pims and completely purged of Slings- bn,sand I will return. Oh, and Jeeves.” “Sire” “Spare no effort to mollify these birds. They think, at least, Slingsby (female) thinks—that it was I who ran over Mr. Pim in my car. Ene deavor during my absence to sweeten them.” “Very good, sir.” T was a matter of three weeks or so beford Jeeves sent me the “All clear” signal. I hop= ped on a passing airplane and, a couple of hours later was bowling through Croydens on my way to the center of things. It was somewhere in the Sloane Square neighborhood that I first caught sight of the posters. A traffic block had occurred and I was glancing idly this way and that when suddenly my eye was caught by something that looked familiar. And then I saw what it was. Pasted on a blank wall and measuring about a hune dred feet each way was an enormous poster, mos;lsy red and blue. At the top of it were the words: SLINGSBY'S SUPERB SOUPS and at the bottom: SUCCULENT AND STRENGTHENING And in between, me!" Yes, dash it, Bertram Wooster in person! A reproduction of the Pen= dlebury portrait, perfect in every detail. Of all the absolutely foul sights I have ever seen, this took the biscuit with ridiculous e: I saw now what Jeeves had meant when he said that the portrait had given me a hungry look!”. In the poster this look had become one of bestial greed. There I sat, absolutely slavers ing through a monocle about six inches in eir« cumference at a plateful of soup, looking as if I hadn’t had a meal for weeks. I awoke from a species of trance or coma to find myself at the door of my flat. To charge into the home was the Wwork of a moment. Jeeves came shimmering down the hall. “I am glad to see you back, sir.” B “Never mind ‘about that,” I yipped. “What about——?” “The posters, sir? I was wondering if you might have observed them.” : “I observed them. Now, perhaps, you'll kindly explain.” . “You instructed me, if you recollest, str, to spare no effort to mollify Mr. S¥ngsby. It proved a somewhat difficult task, sir. Por some time Mr. Slingsby, on t)»~ advice and ow- ing to the persuasion of Mrs. slingsby, appeared to be resolved to institute an action in Iaw against you.” “Yes, but——" 3 “And then, the first day he was able to leave his bed, he observed the portrait, and it seemed to me judicious to point out to him its possibili= ties as an advertising medium. He readily fell in with the emggestion and on my assurance that, should .e abandon the projected action in law, you would willingly permit the use of the portrait, he entered into negotiations with Miss Pendlebury for the purchase of the copyright.” “Oh? Well, I hope she got something out of it, at any rate?” “Yes, sir. Mr. Pim, acting as Miss Pendle- bury’s agent, drove, I understand, an extremely satisfactory bargain.” “He acted as her agent, eh?” “Yes, sir. In his capacity as fiance to the young lady, sir.” “Fiance?” “Yes, sir.” It shows how the sight of that poster had got into my ribs when I stute that instead being laid out cold by this announcement merely sald “Ha!” or “Ho!” or it may have been “H'm.” After the poster, nothing seemed to matter. “After that poster, Jeeves,” I said, “nothing seems to matter. A woman has. tossed my heart lightly away, but what of it?” “Exactly, sir.” “The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number, Is that going to erush me? No, Jeeves. It is not. But what does matter is this ghastly business of my face being spread from end to end of thé metropolis with the eyes fixed on a plate of Slingsby's Superb Soup. I must leave London. The lads at the Drones will kid me without ceasing. Jeeves, flight is the only recourse. Back to Paris, what?” “I should not recommend the move, sir. The posters are, I understand, shortly to appear in that city also.” ““Then where?” “If T might make a suggestion, sir, why not adhere to your original intention of cruising i Mrs. Travers’ yacht in the Mediterranean?” “But the yacht started weeks ago.” ‘No, sir. The cruise was postponed for & month owing to the illness of Mrs. Travers’ chef, Anatole. Mrs. Travers refused to sail without him.” “You mean they haven't started?” “Not yet, sir. The yacht sails from South- ampton on Tuesday next.” “Why, dash it, nothing could be sweeter. up Aunt Dahlia and tell her we’ll be there.” “I ventured to take the liberty of doing that - Refore you arrived, sir. I thought it probable fhat the plan would appeal to you.” *It does! I've wished all along I was going om that cruise.” *L too, sir. It should be extremely pleasant.” “The tang of the salt breezes, Jeeves.” “Yes, sir.” “The moonlight on the water!” “Precisely, sir!” “The gentle heaving of the waves.” “Exactly, sir.” I felt absolutely in the pink. Gwladys— pah! The posters—bah! > “Yo-hoeho, Jeeves!” I said. “In fact, T will go further. Yo-ho-ho and a bottie of rum!” “Very grod, sir. I will bring {mmew (Copyright, 1931