Evening Star Newspaper, November 1, 1931, Page 90

The Pangs of Love Brought About an Azwhkzward § itua/'io)z, but Mr. I odehouse Is a Past Master in Extricating His Fic- tional Characters. If You Prefer This Author’s Stories You Will Find This One of His Best Yarns. Iustrated by Hubert Mathieu & WAS lunching at my Aunt Dahlia’s, and despite the fact that Anatole, her out- standing cook, had rather excelled him- self in the matter of the bill of fare, I'm bound to say the food was more or less turning to ashes in my mouth. You see, I had some bad news to break to her—always a prospect that takes the edge off the appetite. She wouldn't be pleased, I knew. However, I supposed I had better get it over. “Aunt Dahlia,” I said. “Hullo?” “you know that cruise of yours?” et g “That jolly cruise in your yacht in the Mediterranean to which you so kindly invit- ed me?” “What about it?” R 1 swallowed a chunk of cotelette supreme aux chouxfleurs and slipped her the distressing info. “I'm frightfully sorry, Aunt Dahlia,” I said, “put I shan't be able to come.” She goggled. “What! You poor, miserable ereature, what do you mean, you won't be able to come?” “Well, I won't. Matters of the most extreme urgency render my presence in the metropolis imperative.” She sniffed. “I suppose what you really mean is that you're hanging around some unfortunate girl again!” I didn’t like the way she put it, but I admit I was stunned by her penetration. “Yes, Aunt Dahlia,” I sald. “You have guessed my secret. I do indeed love.” “Who is she?” “A Miss Pendlebury. Christian name, Gwladys. She spells it with a ‘w.”” “With a ‘g’ you mean.” “With a ‘w’ and a 2.'” " “Not Gwladys?” “That's it.” The relative uttered a yowl. “You sit there and tell me you haven't enough sense to steer clear of a girl who calls herself Gwladys? Listen, Bertie,” said Aunt Dahlia earnestly. “I'm an older woman than you are—well, you know what I mean—and I can tell you a thing or two. And one of them is that no good can come of association with anything labeled Gwladys or Ysobel or Ethyl or Mabell or Kathryn. But particularly Gwladys. What sort of girl is she?” “Slightly divine.” “She isn't that female I saw driving you at 60 miles p. h. in the park the other day.” *“She did drive me in the park the other day. I thought it rather a hopeful sign.” UNT DAHLIA looked relieved. “Oh, well, then, she’ll probably break your silly neck before she can get you to the altar. That's some consolation. Where did you meet her?” “At a party in Chelsea. She's an artist.” “Ye gods!” “And swings a jolly fine brush, let me cell you. She's painted a portrait of me. Jeeves and I hung it up in the flat this morning. I have an idea Jeeves doesn’t like it.” “Well, if {t's anything like you, I don't see why he should. An artist! Calls herself Gwladys.” She brooded awhile. “Well, it's all very sad, but I can’t see why you won't come on the yacht.” “It would be madness to leave the metrop. at this juncture,” I said. “You know what girls are. They forget the absent face. And I'm not at all easy in my mind about a certain cove by the name of Lucius Pim. Apart from the fact that he's an artist, too, which forms a bond, his hair waves, “Moreover, this bloke is one of those strong, masterful men. He treats Gwladys as if she were less than the dust beneath his taxi wheels. He criticizes her hats and says nasty things about her chiaroscuro. For some reason, this always seems to fascinate girls, and it has oc- curred to me that, being myself more the parfait gentle knight, I am in grave danger of getting the short end. Taking all these things Jnto consideration, then, I cannot possibly breeze off to the Mediterranesan, leaving this Pim a clear field.” Aunt Dahlia lJaughed. Rather & nasty laugh. “I shouldn't worry,” she saio. “You don't suppose for & moment that Jeeves will sanction the match?” I was stung. “Do you imply, Aunt Dahlia,” I said, “that I allow Jeeves 10 boss me to the extent of stopping me marrying somebody I want to marry?” “Well, he stopped you wearing s mustache, And purple socks.” “That is a different matter altpgether,” “Well, I'm prepared tq make & small bet with you, Bertie. Jeeves will stop this match.” “What absolute rot!™ “And if he doesn’t like that portrait he will get rid of it.” “I never heard of such dashed nonsense in my life.” “And finally, you wretched, pie-faced wam- bler, he will present you on board my yacht at the appointed hour. I don’t know how he will do it, but you will be there.” ;‘Let us change the subject, Aunt Dahlia,” I said. Being a good deal stirred up by the attitude of the flesh-and-blood at the luncheon table, I had to go for a bit of a walk in the park after leaving to soothe the nervous system. By about 4:30 the ganglions had ceased to vibrate, and I returned. Jeeves was in the sitting room, look- ing at the portrait. “Looks good, Jeeves, what?” “Nothing like a spot of art for brightening the home. “Yes, sir.” The responses were all right, but his manner was far from hearty, and I decided to tackle him squarely. r;‘Jeeves." I said, “you don’t like this spot of art.” “Oh, yes, sir.” “No. Subterfuge is useless. I can read you like a bock. For some reason this spot of art fails to appeal to you. What do you object to about it?” “Well, in my opinion, sir, Miss Pendlebury has given you a somewhat too-hungry expression. A little like that of a dog regarding a distant bone, sir.” I checked the fellow. “There is no resem- blance whatever. Jeeves, to a dog regarding a distant bone. The look to which you allude is wistful and denotes Soul.” “I see, sir.” I proceeded to ancther subject. “Miss Pendle- bury said she might look in this afternoon. Did she turn up?” “Yes, sir.” has left?” . sir” - s didn't say anything about coming “No, sir. I received the impression that it was not Miss Pendlebury's intention to re- turn. She was a little upset, sir.” “Upset? What about?” “The accident, sir.” “Don’t tell me she had an accident!” “Yes, sir.” “What sort of accident?” “Automobile, sir.” “Was she hurt?” “No, sir. Only the gentleman.” “What gentleman?” “Miss Pendlebury had the misfortune to run over a gentleman in her car almost immediately opposite this building. - He sustained a slight fracture of the leg.” “Too bad! What became of the chump?” “The gentleman, sir? He is in your spare bed room, sir.” “In my spare bed room?” ""\/ES, sir. It was Miss Pendlebury's desire that he should be taken there. She in- structed me to telegraph to the gentleman's sis- ter, sir, who is in Paris, advising her of the ac- cident. “T also summoned a medical man, who gave it as his opinion that the patient should remain for the time being in status quo.” “You mean the fellow is on the premises for an indefinite visit?” “Yes, sir.” “Jeeves, this is a bit thick!” And I meant it, dash it! I mean to say, & girl can be pretty heftily divine and ensnare the heart and what not, but she's no right to turn a fellow's flat into a hospital. “Well, I suppose I'd better go and introduce myself to the blighter. Has he a name?” “Mr. Pim, sir.” “Pim!” “Yes, sir. And the young lady addressed him as Lucius.” I headed for the spare bed room. I was per- turbed to a degree. I don't know if you have ever loved and been handicapped in your woo- ing by a wavy-haired rival, but one of the things you don't want in such cires. is the rival ple:kmg himself on the premises with a broken Apart from anything else, the advantage the position gives him is obviously terrific. There he is, sitting up and toying with a grape and looking pale and interesting, the object of the girl’s pity and concern; and where do you get off, bounding about the place with the rude flush of health on the cheek? I found Lucius Pim lying in bed, draped in a suit of my pajamas, smoking one of my cig- arettes and reading a detective story. He waved THE SUNDAY STAR, WASHI > HTIBIAIEEY| He sprang forward, trod on the golf ball, and took the cigarette at me in what I considered a dashed patronizing manner, “Ah, Weoster!” he said. “No 40 much of the ‘Ah, Wooster!’ ” I replied brusqualy. “How soon can you be moved?” “In a week or so, I fancy. For the moment, the doctor insists on perfect quiet and repose. And now, Wooster, about this accident. We must come to an understanding!” “Are you sure you can't be moved?” “Quite. The doctor said so. He was most emphatic, and evidently a man who knew his job. Don’t worry about my not being comfort- able here. I shall be quite all right. And now, to return to the subject of this accident. My sister will be arriving tomorrow. She will be greatly upset. I am her favorite brother.” “You are? How many of you are there?” “Six.” “And you're her favorite?” “T am.” It seemed to me that the other five must be pretty fairly subhuman, but I didn’t say so. “She married a bird named Slingsby. Slings= by’s Superb Soups. He rolls in money. How- ever, that is neither here nor there. The point is that my sister loves me devotedly; and she might try to prosecute and persecute and gen- erally bite pieces out of poor little Gwladys if she knew that it was she who was driving the car that laid me out. She must never know, Wooster, I appeal to you as a man of honor to keep your mouth shut.” “Naturally.” “I'm glad you grasp the point so readily, Wooster. Unless I can think of something bet- ter I shall tell my sister that I was knocked down by a car which drove on without stopping and I didn't get its number. “And now perhaps you had better leave me. The doctor made a point of quiet and repose. I'll ring if I want anything.” I headed for the sitting room. I found Jeeves there. “Jeeves,” I said, “Mr. Pim appears to be a fixture. And tomorrow we shall have his sister, Mrs. Slingsby, in our midst.” “Yes, sir. I telegraphed to Mrs. Slingsby shortly before 4. Assuming her to have been at her hotel in Paris at the moment of the telegram’s delivery, she will no doubt take a boat early tomorrow afternoon, reaching Dover in time to arrive in London at about 7. She will possibly proceed first to her London resi- dence——" “Yes, Jeeves,” I said; “yes. A gripping story, full of action and human interest. Meanwhile, get this into your head. It is imperative that Mrs. Slingsby does not learn that it was Miss Pendlebury who broke her brother In two places.” “Very good, sir.” “And now, Jeeves, what of Miss Pendlebury?” “Sir?” “She’s sure to call to make inquiries. Well, she mustn't find me here. You know all about women, Jeeves?” “Yes, sir.” “Then tell me this. Am I not right in sup- posing that if Miss Pendlebury is in a position to go into the sickroom, take a long look at the interesting invalid, and then pop out, with the memory of that look fresh in her mind, ane get a square sight of me lounging about in sponge-bag treusers, she will draw damaging comparisons? You see what I mean? Look on this picture and on that—the one romantic, the other not . ., .” “Very true, sir. It's a point which I had intended to bring to your attention. The poet Scott has put the matter neatly in the lines: “‘O woman; in our hours of ease, Uncertain, coy, and hard to please, When pain and anguish wring the brow—"" I held up a hand. “At some other Jeeves,” I said, “I shall be delighted to your piece, but just now I am not in the The position being as I have outlined, pose to clear out early tomorrow morning and not to reappear until nightfall. I shall take the car and dash down to Brighton for the day. “I leave you in charge of the old home. Con- vey my regrets and sympathy to Miss Pendle~ bury and tell her I have been called away on business.” “Yes, sir.” “Should the Slingsby reguire refreshment, feed her in moderation. And in poisoning Mr. Pim's- soup don't use awsenic, which is readily detected. Go to a good chemist and get some- thing that leaves no traces.” T was latish when I got back on the following evening. What with a bit of ozone sniffing, & good dinner, and a nice run home in the moon- light, I was feeling in pretty good shape once more. The way I looked at it, I saw I had been mistaken in assuming that a girl must neces~ W orld Tours by Continued from Eighth Page class mail and make possible to business men a reply from their London and continental cor- respondents just a week from the date of their original letter. “The passenger traffic that may be devel- oped for a transatlantic airship line will de- pend on the demonstration over a period of time as to the reliability, safety and comfort of this new mode of travel.” That the airship is not a competitor of sea- going vessels carrying passengers, freight and mail, but only a supplementary service such as the airplane to the railroad, is the idea ad- vocates of the airship are advancing. Handling and flying these leviathans of the air is another phase that must be looked into, and there is probably no one better acquainted with that job today than Lieut. Comdr. Charles E. Rosendahl, U. S. N, captain of the U. 8. 8. Akron, who is considgred one of the best in- formed men in America on the operation of lighter-than-air craft. He was graduated from Annapolis in 1914 and served the usual Navy routine until 1923, when he went to the Lakehurst Airship School as a student. On completion of his training giette to call him e is skipper of the Akron.) ed aboard the Shenandoah