Evening Star Newspaper, December 30, 1928, Page 70

City’s Serious Pitfalls BY STEPHEN LEACOGK. “MY MARRIED LIFE HAS BEE < A MISTAKE.” E continue and conclude, in this chapter upon “Married Life,” daring and sensa- tional disclosures, coming straight from the heart. As Before, we offer no apology to the pub- ‘Me. Our correspondent speaks with ab- Bolute frankness, . In what I wrote before, I told about iy experiences as a young girl and how love first came info my life. I want to talk now about my mar- ¥ied life and I am going to speak just s plainly as I can and tell my readers things that I have never yet ventured to say to anybody. It was a little while after mother and I had moved in the city, on ac- count of father having taken to al- cohol in the country, that I met my first husband. His name ,was Mr. ‘Thomley, and mother and I first met him in one of the big stores where we ‘went to buy things for the apartment. All we knew about him was that his name was Mr. Thomley and that his salary was $42 a week, and that his Ppeople had come from Ashtabula, Ohio, | and that he had had a $10 raise last onth and another one promised for lew Year, and that where he boarded %here wasn't a word against him, al- “though there were three young girls in the house, one from Kentucky. Beyond that, mother couldn't find out any more about him. ‘Well, pretty soon Mr. Thomley be- gan coming to the apartment and tak- ing me out places nights and then later he would come and take me walks af- ternoons and shows evenings and ball games Sundays. So one day at a ball game he asked me if I would marry him and I said all right. I remember it was Pitts- burgh playing Philadelphia and Pitts- burgh won the game, but I want tn say right now, since I am writing con- fidentially, that I don’t believe they were the best team. I said to Mr. ‘Thomley just after he asked me to marry him that I was sure the um- pire was crooked. At any rate, I am going to say it right here, straight out, that I believe there was some dirty ‘work on third base. ‘We went home right after the game, and I told mother all about it and just ‘what I thought of the Pittsburgh team. ‘Well, a little after that we got mar- ried, because my husband, whose name, as I said, was Mr. Thomley, had four days off from the store where he worked. He was in curtains and cre- tonne, and es it was the dead season | dn curtains -he could get off easily enough; but for the matter of that, he | had a pretty high-up job amd could ‘have got off for a couple of days to get married at any time. So we went on our wedding tour to Richmond, Va. I am going to tell all about my experiences. And right here I will disclose a little thing about married life that I never saw mentioned openly before, though everybody knows it is true, and that is that you can order a single portion and divide it and have a side order of becon or anything like that for the same money. ‘That night a little before we re- tired Mr. Thomley whispered to me that all his life he had never liked hotel food. ¢ ‘We went for a long drive next day in an open carriage, and Mr. Thomley told me a lot of interesting and inti- mate things, such as how'they made cement and the way the city disposes of the sewage and the different meth- ods they have for marketing the to- bacco and things I had never known Bs a girl. ‘Well, pretty soon after that we came back to the city to settle down in our new home, and my married life began in earnest. If I had not decided to make a complete revelation of what imarried life first means to a woman nd to keep back nothing, I might not igare to tell of some of the mistakes | ‘;vckmade and the false steps that we 00k, To begin with, we paid $80 a month for our apartment, and it wasn't worth | it. There was no proper way of dis- posing ‘of the garbage and every one of the cupboards was too small. If young girls were told efore mar- riage all the things they ought to know they would never go into an apartment unless there was a janitor. who took away the garbage without leaving it out on the back of the fire escape. Some of the mistakes, too, were of our own making. We put cocoanut matting in the best room, and I'll con- fess now that it hasn't the warmth. It's all right in the cool weather, but when Winter comes it is better to pay another $2 a yard and get real rugs. | There were some things, too, that I found I didn’t like to tell even to my husband. A young, inexperienced wife, such as I was, is held back by a kind of delicacy in speaking of certain things. The first of these troubles I kept to myself, but I thought of it day and night until at last I just couldn’t stand it any longer, and I said to Mr. Thomley, “There’s something I've just got to tell you; namely, that new ice- box is a bum ice-box. It leaks.” Mr. Thomley was very kind about it and got a plumber up right away, but somehow things didn't seem quite the same again after the ice-box started leaking. Then, of course, there was a certain amount of trouble with other men. There was first the young fellow who carried up the groceries, and the very first day he said, “If you like I'll carry them right into the kitchen for you.” T said right away, “You cut that stuff out right now.” As soon as my husband came home I said to him, “There’s a thing I may as well tell vou first as last: The gro- cery man tried to carry the parcels | right through into the kitchen.” My husband said nothing at the time, but I felt there was a shadow betwecen us after that. It has been only as the months and presently the years have gone past that I have realized that my married life with Mr. Thomley has been a mistake. It would be hard for me to say just what has gone wrong, but I suppose 1 am only one of a great many women who feel that somehow life has wronged them. It seems to bring them nothing. It was different for my husband, be cause he was in the store and was forging ahead all the time. He got moved up from curtains the second | year of .our marriage to being head of all the carpets, with a $500 increase. and a year or two after that they put him right on the ground floor with the whole of the gents’' furnishings, boys’ garments and men’s goods under him. ‘Then he’s away up in the United Good- men of the World, and belongs to a cornet and saxophone society that meets every two weeks all Winter, and a clay- pigeon shooting club that goes out once a month in the Summer. It always seems that way. Men's life is full of work and interest, and for women there is just nothing. It was about when my eldest little girl was getting ready for public school —she was the first of the three children to go—that I began to feel the full emptiness of my life. It was so differ- ent from the kind of day dreams I used to have nights on the farm. Then I used to think I might marry a boot- legger, or an Arab slave driver, or a| French adventurer. I used to dream of a life where things happened, and where some one would take me around and make things fly. It’s a kind of roman- | tic spirit I have, So nowadays when I sit evenings with Mr. Thomley I feel that the time has come when I'll have to divorce him. ‘That about concludes my disclosures. If I could think of any more intimate things to say, I'd put them in, because I know that my readers just snap them up and live on them. But this will do for now. Gross Exaggerations BY MILT GROSS. RS. GRUBNICK—Yi yi! Geeve a look, Meesus Mitzic, wot it’s | de: gung by Meesus Feitlebaum in de house gudgeous weesi- tors! Mrs. Mitzic—Look—high hets! Mrs, Yifnif—Look—canes witt spets itt a monologue yat in de heye! Who uld it was?? RRRRRrrIrTrrTT ng! Mrs. Feitlebaum—Yi yi! Isidore— Queeck!! Stop riting in de batroom de bicycle. Hite in de washtob de doity clothes!! Cluze by Looy de durr? Stap on dot queeck!! Hopen de weendow! Hempty de mouzetrep! Goot monnink Stap plizze in— Strangers—Mister Feitlebaum, please. Mister Maurice Feitlebaum. Mrs, Feitlebaum—Stap plizz pollar. He'll be so soon he wakes de nep!! Wot could it was de beezness, gantlemen? Strangers—You see, Mrs. Feitlebaum, Mr. Feitiebaum'’s name is up for mem- bership in the Leaping Stream Country Club—quite an exclusive organization #5 you may be aware—ahem—and the committee always makes it a point to investigate personally the proposed members—ahem—just as a precaution- Ary measure, you understand—we wish to be sure of a membership of only the most privileged, exclusive— Mrs. Feitlebaum—Here he’s_coming now—He'll oxplain you heemsalf. Mor- ris—it's waiting here for you de com- meetee!! Say dem goot monninck!! Mr. Feitlebaum—Wot ho, pipple!!— Mine cron! In hall mind life deed you |aver befurr saw a keeng shell find in de cospidurr de cron? Noo, Isidore, you coitinly a tarrible looking preence dees monninck Take plizze a latter meesus: Rav. John Roach Straton, Hesquire: . hirrpy riffuse to debating you insite odder houtsite Madison Squerr God- n. (Signed) Helfred Smeet, Governor. Ha! Ha! Dees'll hold heem!! Noo, two ho'clock unh dall is wal aboard de Greft Zappelin!! (signed) Heck- ner. Laties witt gantlemen—Seence safing feefty-fife lifes by de Westris I coitinly henjoy smooking your cigar- ettes. (signed) Lionel Leecorish!! Foidermore, I axpact to knock hout Pallino witt one hend tite in de beck from me. What?? Who keeled Cock Robinstein? Ha ha!! Wo deed dot moider tregic? See naxt wick’s Rad Megic. Whoy if dey dun't ketching heem in tan days I'll fire de Commeeshoner! s Wherr's de meesing weetness? Ha ha!! Houtside poliss hadquatters, De weetness depotted. Poliss is brukken-hotted. T'll wouldn't gonr resign!! Whooy!! Nup—it's a lie—I wouldn’t geeve opp haviation to getting merried!!—Noo dopes! Wot for do you stending around on de moofy sat when I trying to Shect!! Chase dem hout jenitor!!" Mrs. Feitlebaum—Morris!!! Ooy!! Tl die! Strangers—That'll be all, thank you! Good day! Doctor—Now sir—tell us all about it1! Isidore—I put the powder idd his dcze whed he was sleeping!! Bue he diddt sdeeze. . . . I thought it was sdeezing powder. . . . I fond it! The guy threw it away whed the cop was searching hib . . . I picked it up. .. . I thought it was sdeezing pow- der. . . . I put it dear his doze. He Mrs, Peitlebaum—SMACKI| diddt sdeeze. . . . He just sbiled, ‘ _ (Copyrisht 1938, .. BRI, The Hub’s Annual Clearance Brings Generous Savings to Homemakers—Credit, Too $124 3-piece over- ® $149 3.picce over- stuffed Bed-Davenport 105 stuffed Bed-Davenport Suite. Suite. $ 95 fi Reduced efo,... Reduced 20.5: 4305 January Clearance Lane Cedar Chests $15.75 Cedar Chests, $9.85 $39.00 Cedar Chests, $24.00 All Other Cedé:,lr Chests, 259, Oft January e L) B i) Suite. Reduced -0 ) DS ® $169 3-piece over- stuffed Bed-Davenport *139 | roe covered Suite. Reduced $98 3-piece velour- ¢ 68 60 o fo.. 1 Article. At The Hub! 52 Delivers a Suite “ Delivers a Single $69 Three-piecce wood $179 long loose-cush- ¢ frame imitation leather ion 3-piece Bed-Dav- enport Suite. s Reduced Bed-Dav- enport Suite. Reduced 0 f0...un January Clearance Heaters and Coal Ranges Electric Heater 98¢ An efficient heat- er with copper re- flector, cord and socket. No Phone or Mail Orders Coal Range $38.60 Six-hole top—large size Circulating Heater $32.60 ukln desimzn——ml;cg e & phon \p! —in emmcy‘ can't be equalled for a generous provider of heat. Pipe Included with warming oven in- cluded. 50c a Week Clearance Four-Piece Bedroom Suites $89 Walnut-Finished Four-Piece Bedroom Suite $57.60 $59.00 Ten-Piece This_outfit consists of a Console Phono- graph, six Records, End Table, Lamp and Shade. 50c a Week Secretary Bookcases Spinet Desks 5% 529.00 Green Finished Secretary Gov. Winthrop Desks 25% Off Regular $139 Genuine Walnut- Veneered Four-Piece Bedroom Suite . Overstuffed Living Room Suites $109 3-Piece Overstuffed ® $139 3-Piece Overstuffed® $169 3-Piece Overstuffed Loose Cushion Living Loose Cushion Living Room Suite -+18.80 0 569 | $98 119 ® $189 Four-Piece Walnut- , Vencered Bedroom Suite Reduced to $139 Drum Type Coal Heater Burning $11.75 Four-hole top and oven. January Clearance of Loose Cushion Living Room Suite $119 Ten-Piece Walnut- Finished Dinnett Suite $79.80 Pipe included. Heater $4.98 950c a Week January Clearance ‘Day-Beds $21.75 Day-Bed Outfit, §15.98 $34.00 Day-Bed Qutfit, $24.80 chers 259, Off January Clearance Ten=Piece Dining Room Suites Room Suite §$159 Ten-Piece Walnut- Veneered Dining Room $119 $198 Ten-Piece Walnut- Veneered Dining Room Suite %149 Suite Radio Stool $1.00 No Phone or Mail Orders Off the 4-Pocket Regular Magazine Reck 98¢ No Phone or Mail Orders Kitchen Table 98 50c a Week Floor Sample Baby Carriages Y3 Off Fumed Oak Book Rack 98¢ No Phone or Mail Orders