Evening Star Newspaper, February 15, 1925, Page 78

CLOER -LEAF SOCIAL AND OUTING ¢LUB By P. G. Wodehouse " The Growing Boy In Which Archie Feeds the Famishing and Pie Leads to Peace. DMWY about 16. His wife had recovered the paper, and was reading with burning eyes. “Washington!” A basilisk glare shot across the table and turned the long boy to stone—all except his mouth, which opened feebly. “Wash- ington! Is this true?” Washy closed his mouth, then let it slowly open again. “My dear Mr, McCall's volce was alarmed. “What it is? What is the matter? Is anything wrong?” ‘“‘Wrong!” Read for yoursel * % % X R. McCALL was completely mysti- fled. Where, Mr. McCall asked himself, did Washington come in? He looked at the paper, and recelved immediate enlightenment. Head-lines met his eye. GOOD STUFF IN THIS BOY ABOUT A TON OF IT Son of Cora Bates McCall, Famous Food Reform Lecturer, Wins Ple-Eating Champlonship’ of West Side There followed a lyrical outburst. So uplifted had the reporter evidently felt by the importance of his news that he had been unable to confine himself to prose. fy children, if you fail to shine or triumph in your special line; if, let us say, vour hopes are bent on some day being President, and folks iznore your proper worth and say you've not a | chance on earth, cheer up, for, fn these | stirring days, fame may be won in many ways. Consider, when your spirits fall, | the case of Washington McCall. “His mother (nee Miss Cora Bates) is one who frequently orates upon the proper kind of food which every menu should include. With eloquence the world she weans from chops and steaks and pork and beans. Such horrid things she'd like to crush and make us live on milk and mush. But, oh, the thing that makes her sigh is when she sees us eating pie! (We heard her lecture last July upon ‘“The Natlon's Menace— = . - > Pie.”) Alas, the hit it made was small “PIE!” HE SAID, IN A HUSHED VOICE. THE WORD WAS LIKE A BATTLE-CRY. with ‘Master Washington McCall! 7 T “For yesterday we took a trip to see [appeal that he had not observed the the great pie-eating championship, | presence of the pie-eating champlon where men with bulging cheeks and eyes | of the West Side. But now Washing- consume vast quantities of pies. A |ton, hearing the familiar voice, had fashionable West Side crowd beheld the | moved from the window and was con- champion, Spike O'Dowd, endeavor to |fronting him with an accusing stare. defend his throne against an upstart,| “He made me do it!" said Wash Blake's Unknown. He wasn't an Un-|with the stern joy of a 16-vear-old known at all. He was young Washing- | hoy feels when he sees somebody onto ton McCall. whose shoulders he can shift trouble “The champion was a willing lad. His | from his own. “That's the fellow who was a genuine fighting soul. He'd lots | took me to the place.” of speed and much control. No yellow | “What are you streak did he evince; he tackled apple | Washington?" ple and mince. This was the motto on| “I'm telling you! his shield: ‘O'Dowds may burst. They |the thing.” Pbby ptel was ing-ground it to him to do something, you know, because it was your jolly old mater's lecture last night that made the nominee quit. You must charge in and take his place. Sort of poetic justice, don’t you know, and what- not.” He turned to Mr. Blake. “When is the conflict supposed to start? Two-thirty? You haven't any impor- tant engagement for two-thirty, have you?" “No. Mother's lunching at some ladies’ club and giving a lecture aft- erward. T can slip away Archie patted his head. “Then leg it where glory waits you, 0ld bean!” The long hoy was gazing earnestly st the poster. T T about 9 o'clock on the following morning in a suite at the Hotel Cosmopolis Mrs. Cora Bates McCall, the eminent lecturer on rational eat- ing, was seated at breakfast with her family. Before her sat Mr. McCall, a little” hunted-looking man, the nat- of the Cosmopolis a favorite stamp- of Mr. Daniel Brewster, its proprietor. He liked to wander about there, keeping a paternal eye on things. rather in the manner of the jolly inn- keeper of the old-fashioned novel. Customers who, hurrying in to din- ner, tripped over Mr. Brewster were apt to mistake him for the house de- tective, for his eve was keen and his spect a trifle austere, but, neverthe- less, he was being jolly an inn- Keeper as he knew how Most of the time Mr. Brewster stood in one spot and just looked thought- ful: but now and ain he would wander to the marble slab behind which he kept the desk clerk and run his eve over the register to who had hooked rooms—Iike a child ex- amining the stocking on Christmas morning to ascemtain what Santa Claus had brought him. rule, Mr. Brewster this performance by sho back across the marble He was one of those boys who seem ail legs and knuckles. He had pale-red hair, sandy eyelashes, and a long neck; and his eyes, as he removed them from the table and raised them to Archie's, had a hungry look. “That smells good,” said the boy. “There ain't any blooming Un- known.” he said bitterly. s man had plainly suffered. sterday, yes: but not now." Archie sighed. . “‘In the midst of life’ Dead?" inquired delicately. “As good as” replied the stricken He Inhaled deeply. “Yes, sir,” he con- | tobacconist. He cast aside his arti- tinued, as one whose mind is definitely | Bcal restraint and became voluble. made up, “that smells good.” “It's 'ard, sir; it's blooming 'ard. Before Archie could reply, the tele- [I'd got the event all sewed up in a phone bell rang. It was Lucllle, con- [ parcel, and now this young feller- frming her prophecy that Jane would | me-lad to give me the knock. insist on her staying to dine. This lad of mine—sort of cousin, ‘e Jane,” said Archie into the tele- |is—comes from London, like you and phone, “is a pot of poison. The waiter |me—'e’s always 'ad, ever since 'e is here mow, settinz out a rich ban-|janded in this country, a most amaz- quet, and I shall have to eat two of [ing knack of stowing away grub. everything by myself.” I'd 'ave backed 'im against a rudd He Lung up the receive.r and, turn- | orstridge. Orstridge! I'd ‘ave ing, met the pale eve of the long boy, backed ‘im against ‘arf a dozen who had propped himself up in the | orstridges—take 'em on one after the doorway. other in the same ring on the same “Were you expecting somebody to|evening, and given 'em a handicap, dinner?” asked the boy. too. ' would have out-swallowed """‘"‘1:"1“;’ “Why, ves, old friend, I this ‘ere O'Dowd, without turning a & the book 1 wish: hair, as a relish with ‘is tea. I'd 2 slab and re-| “Oh, nothing. got a couple 'un':iredtdollnrs on ’im, |ural pecullarities of whose face were suming his meditations. But one| Archie was not an abnormally rapid | and thought myself lucky to get the |accentuated by a pair of glasses of night, in the early Spring, he varied |thinker, but he began at this point to | odds. And now—-—" semi-circular shape, like half-moons this procedure by starting rather vio- | get a clearly defined impression that|° My Blake relapsed into a tortured |With the horns turned up. Behind lently, turning purple, and uttering | this lad, if invited, would waive the toe: these Mr. McCall's eyes played a per- wn cxilamation which was manifestly | formalities and consent to join his| Byt what's the petual game of peek-a-boo, now peer- He turned | meal. Indeed, the idea Archie Rot| plighter? asked ing up over them, anon ducking down his son-| was that, if he were not invited pretty | can't he go over SaSTAAT g A0 U 1 ENELS AN at)e in co he would nvite himself. got indigestion™ ping a cup of anti-caffein. On his happened he agreed; “it doesn’t “‘Indigestion M right, toying listlessly with a plate- to be crossing the lobby on his way | bad—what?” another of his hollow laughs. “You |ful of cereal, sat his son, Washing- in their suite. Mr. Brewster| “It smells £ood,” said the boy. “Oh, | couldn't give that boy indigestion if |tOD: : y gruffly, then, recognizing |doesn’t it? Wake me up in the night | you “toq “im on safety-razer blades, | ,Mrs. McCall herself was eating a Scemed to regret having |and ask me If it doesn't.” = cems last night, Instead of going |31ice of heaith bread and nut butter, o ve Jined. 1 suppose—What™lana resting ‘is mind at a plcture- | {00 SR8 BUACTIETH O R L8 Pre e en sald Archie. 4 palace, like I told him to, ‘e sneaked | o & C 00 © V08 B L B0 eate in an Lucille, severely, “because he's an ‘I never dine. off to some sort of a lecture down on S8 > “What?" + . e unthinking populace. Her day always angel, and I love him, and you must v Eighth avenue. 'E said 'e’'d seen a = e e Not really dine, I mean. I only get | ;g ("0 CUSRIE T BT D0 Snd it | besan with a light but nutritious “Give you lessons at a reasonable | Vegetables and nuts and things.” was about rational eating, and that 'l’,‘;‘:_?lk’L;"'C:;.:{"‘“,f,‘hf‘ch"’lc;’;',{‘,”;y i rate,” murmured Archie, as Mr. Brew- Dieting kind of attracted 'im. 'E sort of - A Mother 1s.” = i Sl %5 | tasted llke an old straw hat that had ster regarded his young relative with| . 5 % thought 'e might pick up a few hints a lowerlng eve. 1 don't absolutely catch the drift,| e ” 'k ‘aian't know what rational |DS€R run through a meat chopper, i competed for first place in the dislik What's the matter, father darling?” | 19 bean.” BRI ATt Dait olosca SEtInE: was, but 1t sounded ito "im as | SPURSISC SoT T FRLIIACSMT CHe ALK asked Luclle. ‘You seem upset.” evanas whve of parfume from the | if It must be something to do with |{ian Lsually offensive brand of imic I am upset,” Mr. Brewster snorted.| oot en casserole floated past him. | poo, 809 ' dldnt want to miss It |¢ation coffee. Mr. McCall was in- Why, what has happened?” other's food reformer” he | ¢&me in here just now,” said Mr. |clined to think that he loathed the “Those darncd McCalls have reg-|youchsafed. “She lectures on it. She| P\dKe QUIY, vand ' was a changed | near-coffee rather more than the ce- d here.” | nakes pop and me live on vegetables | fad Scared to death ‘e was. 'Sai | real, but Washington held strong : Berpe dasr o et (o aaY 18 been Eolns on in the hast: | views on_the latter's superior ghast- Archie was shocked. mick left. Tt was a lady that Eive the | tier. oo iver Coringlon and his My dear old chap, you must suffer lecture, and this boy said it was 2ather, loweser, s wWONLTRANSY Deelt sgonies — absalute shootlug -PANEYE Y,y 0 1ip “what ahe told ifem abont | oar & oucd enoughifosadmitithat 1t He had no hesitation now. Common blood-pressure and things ‘e dldn't was & (.losf hing. humanity pointed out his course, | Plood-pressure and things ‘e 4lant| rs McCall regarded her offspring ‘Would you care to join me in & bite | ictures—colored pictures—ot what | ™ o e s o now?” i ctuxshess . : ad to see, Lindsay,” she smile. “Would 1? Just stop me ON| .13 it was l1ke a battle-field. 'E sald | “PFo0E dutifully over the glass fence the street and ask me!” "e would no more think of eatin’ & 10t | pag wacronro gy, 1Lme, ~that Washy “Come on in, then said Archie, | & Would nomore think of eatin’ a 1ot | has recovered his appetite, When he rightly taking this peculiar phrase | of Ple than ‘e would of shootin’ 'Im- | refused his dinner last night, I was for formal acceptance. “And close|, ‘o ;i ey askn. T r:&s:-n‘ud with | fraid that he might be sickening for the door. The fatted calf is getting e et i aoned WIth | something. Especially as he had cold M aoffam, with ears in my lquite a flushed look. You noticed his Archie was not a man with a wide e DLnent paan.C e UE | flushed look?” visiting list among people with fam- | LIVEIINE ¥ ,m‘]psd o df;w!f‘ “‘i‘e'":”::! “He did look flushed.” he was. sil matter with the Archie. “Why the top? Has he an exclamation of chagrin, bruptly and cannoned into in-law. Archie Moffan, who pany with Lucille, his wife smell Blake laughed o dir apologized the vietim, dona so. “You musn't bully Archie” gaid And Tl tell you one thing.”|sumed anvthing from a couple hundredweight to a ton of pie he has thriven it Thriven! don't want to hurt your feelinge Co but Wash gton and I h drunk our last cup of anti-caffe him. said Archie handsomely, “I don’t know what sort of a capacity the original chapple had, but I'll bet he wasn't in | your son’s class.” For many years Mr. MecCall had been In a state of suppressed revo-|If vou care to go on with the st lution. He had smoldered, but had|that's your lookout. But Washy and not dared to blaze. But this start-|I are through ling upheaval of his fellow sufferer,| He silenced had acted upon his like a |terful gesture, and turned to Archie high explosive. There was a strange | “And there's another thing: I neve gleam In his eye, a gleam of determi- | liked the idea of that lawsult, but T nation let you talk me into it. Now I'nm Washy going to do things my way. Mr His voice had lost Its deprecating | Moffam, I'm glad vou looked in this nevesivield - iHis éyes ibagatiito: starc] e Sraifiits trhe=> Mus McCalll glarea | Cdtesas I¢ rangistrongiand clear. jmorning; Ill do just what you want and roll. He eased his belt another|stonily at Archie. “Was it you who Yes. pop?” S la_ e v?.fl to E".'] »ffir»»n»j_or' now, and |hole. ~ Poor fellow! With a single |lured my poor boy Into that—that— oy Blex di0yonsents Fiane S SHInERCI sand fatdke i e e e e Mol o | i TRt ibinge lovex jons flie West| s “mow many?: Twenty “Are you mad, I exawl and own defeat Trom young Mc. | Side? Oh, absolutely! The fact More than that. I lost count. It was Cora Bates McCall's last ilies, and it was so long since he had “Very flushed. And, when he said|Call ¥ douic tidy kugw: 'a dean old h"“‘ or And you feel as well as eve shot. Mr. McCall paid no attentior s, 3 vas 8o long y s 5 e i s| 3 s - mine who run obacco s | - fine.” o a6 ihalking T ith seen a_growing boy in action at the L0 bu¥ nuts ' Two ‘undred dollars |ehat ne had mo appetite, I am g R e e TN e e s e R T i p ey table that he had forgotten what 1¢|and more Pop, not to to say that 1 was anxious. But he is |HIS features overcast with shame, |p> 2 Rapole asate: o L hin ¥ i A is capablo of doing with a knife ana | 330 ‘o Would have won, and me (0 | gvidently pertectly well this morning. |O'Dowd, who'd faltered once or twice, | 11 M backed & chapple against the e s s fork when it really squares its el- | B¢t $25 of! You do feel perfectly well this momn- |declined to eat another slice. He tot-|yorieq by one of your lectures and|come to a decision. I've been letting |I have ever metr bows, takes a deep breath, and gets ing, Washy iexed: off.. andi kindly snen sallied xounid | o iral ofr, plé. st thafeleventh! hoir: | your tun things your.owh way a ltle] Archie blushed modsstly: going. The spectacle which he wit- The helr of the McCalls looked up | With oxygen. But Washy, Cora Bates's| 49 hard luck on the poor chap. | too long in this family n going to| “Awfully good of you |nessed was consequently at first a from his cereal. %08 seemie {disappOtated (HiwRs done | et ot kiiow & Al thén' 'l g0t fhe||ssert sayssl’s o bone’ (LIng, Tve|Deieati I wonder it yord oina little unnerving.. The long boy's idea “Uh-huh,” he said He somehow made those present feel|iqeg” (hat our Mttle friend here was|had all I want of this food-reform | telling Jolly old father-in-law of trifling with a meal appeared to Mrs. McCall nodded. haid bavelyssiacted Soh his meal " Wel y1/af 5na s toiiatép iini andl save tlelfoolery: Took at Washy! “Yester | thut TUI bo s hef Of news tor ol be to swallow it whole and reach “Surely now you will agree, Lind- |asked him, ‘Aren’t you feeling bad” | i¢yuaupn ~ So I broached the matter tol day, that boy seems fo. have comel = S e v out for more. He ate like a starving say, that a careful and rational diet | Me!" said the lion-hearted lad. ‘Lead = y o (Copyright, 19: AL S TERE Mother Taught Sleeping Children, She Says, Describing Her Method permitted by irresponsible people to|Son does it teach to all of us, that QGvour ‘meat—candy--ple—" She | Splendid speech! How better can the broke off. “What is the matter,|Curtain fall on Master Washington Washy? MeCall? It seemed that the habit of shud- st ahe dering at the thought of pie ran in R. McCALL read this epic through; the McCall family, for, at the men- | then he looked &t his son. If such tion of the word, a kild of internal|a thing had not been so impossible, shimmy had convulsed Washington's |one would have said that his gaze had lean frame, and over his face there|in it something of respect, of admira- BY MRS. HENRY had come an expression that was|tion, even of reverence. OMETIMES a almost one of pain. | “But how did they find out serves to reveal a momentous “Ple—" proceeded Mrs. McCall, in|name>” he asked, at length. truth, The old story runs that her platform voice. She stopped again| Mrs. McCall exclaimed impatiently. the fall of an apple led to abruptly. “Whatever is the matter,| “ls that all you have to say?” Newton's discovery of the law 3 Washington? You are making me| “No, no, my dear; of course not.|of gravitation. To compare a smaller with me to a chappie I know on |nervous.” But the point struck me as curious.” |thing with a greater, a few ‘oreign Sixth avenue. Tt's only a couple of| “I'm all right.” “Wretched boy!” cried Mrs. McCall. | words spoken at random in the bed- blocks away. I think I tan do you R A ke “Were You insane enough to reveal|room of my children revealed to me that T could literally make the place a night school. I found I could teach them while they slept. I havesbeen doing it regularly ever since, and many of my friends have adopted the | same revolutionary practice. That night I had put the children to bed as usual. It was Autumn, and frosty. After they fell asieep I lay a bit of good. Put you onto some your name?” thing tolerably ripe, if you know RS. McCALL had lost the thread | \washington wriggled uneasily. what T mean. Trickle along, laddle of her remarks. Moreover, hav-| “Hullo-ullo-ullo! What ho? What you don’t need a hat.” ing now finished her breakfast, she|ho?" They found Mr. Blake brooding | was inclined for a little light read-| Archie was standing In the door- sure to make me stop to dinmer. I e to 'a poster which | OVer his troubles still ing. One of the subjects allied to|way, beaming ingratiatingly on the tell you what. Order something for hu“,,‘;' ek I e o e rountor | The long boy scanned the poster. A |the matter of dietary on which she |family. me, and, if I'm not back in half an | Archie had noticed it as he came in, |El€am appeared In his rather dull|felt deeply was the question of read-| The apparition of an entire stranger hour, start.” It was printed in black letters on a |®¥& ing at meals. She was of the opinfon |served to divert the lightning of Mrs. The waiter arrived, booked the or-|vellow ground, and ran as follows: ‘Well? that the strain on the eve, coinciding [ McCall's gaze from the unfortunate |down beside them to keep warm. der, and departed. Archie had just CLOVER-LEAF SOCIAL AND ome people have all the luck!"|With the strain on the digestion, | Washy. Archie, catching it between|Two hours later I roused from a doze completed his toilet after a shower- e D RAND CONTEST |%aid the long boy feelingly. could not fail to give the latter the [the eyes. blinked and held on to the|to find my husband home from the bath when a musical clinking with- D ANG EEAMEICNSEAELOn Would you like to compete— |8hort end of the contest; and it was|wall. He began to regret that he|late session of law school. “Tengo out announced the advent of the meal. & T‘HE ‘i’ES:[' SIDE what? a rule at her table that the morning | had ylelded to Lucille's entreaty that | mucho frio,” he said to me. (“I am He onened the door. The waiter w SPIKE O'DOWD The bay smiled a sad smile. paper should “not even be glanced at|he should look in on the McCalls and | very cold.”) e aeE i da T Deeds. there with a table congested with SF (Chimpion) “Would I? Would I? Say——" till the conclusion of the meal. She|use the magnetism of his person-| Not knowing any Spanish then, I!foreign. languages. there. fo onde | ; things under covers, from which T know," interrupted Archie.|5aid that it was upsetting to begin |ality upon them in the hope of in-|asked what the words meant. But|knowledge which is mope Imporiany | N5, BiS leisure. But learning in he only repeated them teasingly sev- | (o tham Guring (he nants tonhor (it | portant dates for school examinations eral times, “Tengo mucho frio. Tengo | character-molding period - has no such fascination. Before these mucho frio.” It was all done very * % % ¥ tests he tries to cram dates and ends quietly. The children were not dis- . with his mind in a haze of uncer turbed sufficiently even to make them |(JNE Of the first things I thus|tainty. So after he is asleep I take stir in their sleep, taught my little girl was the|a minute to charge his subconscious But the next morning my little | multiplication table, which had been | mind and end his confusion. *“James- girl, only 7 years old, began to chant |Proving a gigantic task for her.|town, 1607; Hudson River, 1608; Ply- me, this 1 what- beyond “Deep wat the McCal ot. people father dislik “And they've chosen his hotel But, father dear, you musn’t mind. It's a real compliment. They've come because they know it's the best hotel in New York.” Lucille steered her husband to the elevator. Poor father!” she said. as they nt to their suite. “It's a shame. “They must have done it to annoy him. This man McCall has a place next to some property father bought in West- chester, and he's bringing a lawsuit against father about a bit of land which he claims belongs to him. He might have had tact to go to another hotel. But, after all. I don't suppose | it was the poor little fellow's fault He does whatever his wife tell him to. “Mr. McCall is one of those littl meek men, and his wife's one of tho: big, bullying women It was she who started ail the trouble with father. Father and Mr. McCall were very fond of each other till she made him begin the suit. ] feel sure she made him come to this hotel just to annoy father. Still, they've probably taken the most expen- sive euite in.the place, which is some- thing.” his wife with a mas at talking about, He got me into Moffam, young m * ook ok RCHIE took his tobacco and walked pensively back to the hotel. He was fond of Joe Blake, and grieved for the trouble that had come upon him. It was odd, he felt, how things seemed to link themselves up together. The woman who had de- livered the fateful lecture to the in- judicious eaters of the West Side could not be other than the mother of his young guest of last night. As if Destiny were suiting her plans to his, one of the first persons he saw as he entered the lobby of the Cosmopolis was the long boy. “Well, well, well!” said Archie. “Here we are again—what He prodded the boy amiably in the lower ribs. “You're just the chap I was looking for. Got anything on for the time being?” The boy ments. “Then I want you to stagger round old bear P N the following morning, it chanced that Archie needed a fresh supply of tobacco. It was his [custom *when this happened to re- 5 air to a small shop on Sixth ave- ICHIE was at the telephone. His | DAV G, & et BOOR o0 28t ke, mood was now cne of quiet peace. | fue 1S relations with 40¢ Blake all the happenings which went to | (he Proprigtor, were CrieRdly a0d make up existence in New York, he | nilmate. The Giscorery e deed, Jked best the cozy, tete-a-tete dinners| y;¢j) 4 few years back, maintained with Lucille in their suite, which, | Sn eatablishment only a dozen doors owing to their many engagements— | o CStEDlSRIent Oy B O orelub had for Lucille was a popular girl with | or 59 ("om Archs ny friends—occurred all too sel-|5Cvel 88 A BORG W plake 1n de- pressed mood. After a short and melancholy good-morning, he turned to get the tobacco in silence. Archle's sympathetic nature was perturbed. “What's the matter, laddie?” he in- quired. “You would seem to be feel- ing a bit of an onion this bright morning—what—yes—no? I can see it with the naked eye.” " for Instance, 1 or three t not yiclded to CASH. me at that time? They can hear me trivial occurrence | because the sense of hearing, though | thus repeated two not controlled by the subconscious [Since then she h mind, is also not suspended during | “l-e-i” complex. sleep. 1Tt only seems to be because | Both daughter and he conscious’ mind keeps no recora | to waste the tim of what is heard then. But the sub- | Foor” deare® thmy o 'oor E e see the munda conscious mind keeps a record. It Euturelins) etemilty. wnd abend hox & vast storehouse of memories. Every | jogpre A5 <ierfi, and spend hours experfence of the body during life, | 001 NE Tegcy €0 do work that con every idea, impulse, hope, desire or |SUMmes a few minutes. 1 used to repression is recorded there. The | MOralize on the preciousness of time conscious mind may be forgetful, but read books to them showing how the subconscious mind cannot forget [ Men and women accomplished great things by canny use of their allotted anything. That, at any rate, is my span. It all fell on deaf ears. But standing of the workings there ‘were listening, though sleep | brain and of the mental ing, ears for the discourse which be | which s set in action at gins with a positive command anc private little night school. ends with a practical reminder: “Be After experiments had completely | Breat Use vour time profitably { convinced me of the possibility and | Now they get to their work with | efficacy of teaching my children while | greater dispatch. * x % * THE night. “Be-1-1-e-v. ek your sald he had no engage- son are pro prize so highl question of he said, “I'll send along now the sluicing,” them to Touching browsing and be getting waiter. “Oh, good gracious ‘What's the matter!” “U've just remembered. I faithfully I would go and see Jane Murchison today. I must rush. She's promised under- of the | machinery my very they slept, I decided on the course of | Instruction suitable for their needs boy likes history. In fact he prefers it to other reading dur- escaped a savory and appetizing odor. BL,\KE.S“ NKNOWN “Wake you up in the night and ask |the day by reading the paper, and |ducing them to settle the lawsuit. in spite of his xh;,pre ion, Archie’s ‘ For you! I knew I could rely on you, old evem‘! Wl'lr' !‘Dhi‘"o"a that she was ;'1 think.” nh:‘ Mrs. 'Mc(‘all felly, scul perked up a trifle. : 50 ANI o7 |thing” He turned to Mr. Blake.|Occasionally right. “that you must have mistaken your Suddenly he became aware that he| A PURSE OF $50 AND SIDE BET |nngr” Hle turm youw've been want-| All through breakfast, the Chron-|room. was not the only person present who Archie expressed a kindly hope that | ing to meet—the finest left-and-|icle had been lying neatly folded be-| Archie rallied his shaken forces. was deriving enjoyment from the|the other's Unknown would bring|right-hand eater east of the Rockies!|Slde her plate. She now opened it,| “Oh, no; rather not! Better intro- scent of the meal. Standing beside [ home the bacon. He'll fight the good fight for you.” |and, with a remark about looking for | duce myself—what? My name's Mof- the waiter and gazing wistfully at the Mr. Blake laughed one of Mr. Blake's English training still|the report of her vesterday's lecture |fam, you know. I'm old Brewster's those 1620." Assurance thus foodstuffs, was a long, thin boy of | hollow, mirthless laughs. retained a nice eve for the distinc-|At the Butterfly Club, directed her|son-in-law, and all that sort of rot, gaze at the front page, on which she hoped that a city editor with the best interests of the public at heart, had decided to place her. Mr. McCall, jumping up and down behind his glasses, scrutinized her face closely as she began to read. He always did this on these occaslons, for none knew better than he that his comfort for the day depended largely on some unknown reporter whom he had never met. Today he noted with reliet, all seemed to be well. The story actually was on the front page. Mrs. McCall gave a sharp shriek, and the paper fluttered from her hand “My dear concern. tions of class. “But this young gentleman,” he urged doubt- fully, yet with hope shining in his eve. “He wouldn't do it.” “Wouldn't do what?" boy Why, save the old taking on the champion. case, between ourselves. egg's nominee has given him raspberry at the eleventh hour, and only you can save him. asked the Dashed sad v"|"”/""/'/ T e N = 7 g WL 7 ; young gentleman's a homestead by This poor the And you owe said Mr. McCall, with if you know what I mean” He gulped and continued: “I've come about this jolly old lawsuit, don't you know.” Mr. McCall seemed about to speak, but his wife anticipated him. “Mr. Brewster's attorneys are communication with ours. wish to discuss the matter. Archie resumed his discourse. “No. But I say, you know! I'll tell you what happened. I hate to totter in where I'm not wanted and all that, but my wife made such a point of it. She begged me to look you up and see whether we couldn’t do some- thing about settling the jolly old thing. How about it?” He broke off. “Great Scott! 1 say—what?” in We do not So engrossed had he been in his X R Aditty gg” the short phrase over and over. 1 found she did not know what she was saying. She was merely de- lighted with the linguistic novelty that had come tribping to her tongue from somewhere. But from where? Could it possibly be that in her sleep | she had heard and learned her fa- ther's words? I was full of wonder and excite- ment. To me it had always been torment to see so much time, the very fabric of life, consumed in_the unconscious existence of sleep. Was here an opportunity to redeem for a good purpose a portion of those lost hours? Without delay T began experiment- ing. Many of my earlier efforts were blank failures. But others were suc- cessful. Gradually T worked out a method for fmparting knowledge to my children while they slept. Such instruction, I may say at this point, requires no effort from the pupil, does mot disturb slumber in any recognizable way, and is in fact as easy as the act of sleeping itself. Then, too, those hours of the night are deal for such a purpose. There is no noise to distract pupil or teach- er. The children’s attention does not wander, nor do I have to take them away from a favorite pastime. What I say to them is heard and accepted in its entirety. Their conscious minds are asleep with them. I meet no resistance and have no inertia to overcome. & ko Y “slumber pedagogy” takes the form of simple little lectures which I usually begin a couple of nours after the children have en- tered the realm of Nod. Those first few hours of sleep being the soundest of the night, there is little danger of rousing the involuntary students, and it is also a very convenlent time for most mothers to allot to this use. I enter the bedroom quietly and deliver the lecture in a soft but easily udible tone. How can any tone be audible to a sleeping. child and still not wake it, does some reader ask? Well,. sleep is not like death. It Is not a complete suspension of bodily activity. Our lungs breathe, our hearts pump blood, all the vast func- tions which sustain the vital needs of the body go on just the same. They lie outside conscious control. We only become aware of them un- der such abnormal conditions as ill- ness. Sleep is not even a complete su pension of mental activity. We have two minds—one conscious, the other subconscious. The latter never sleeps, and that is the part of my children to which I deliver my little lectures while their bodies and their conscious minds are sunk in deep slumber. But how, yeu repeat, can they hear There she would sit with the “eight times- " table, trying to commit to memory. “Hear me, mamma,” she would appeal to me, reaching out for help. Such intangible things had no counterpart in her life. it was hard for her to remember. So at night I came to her rescue. After she was soundly asleep 1 told her, repeatedly that 3 times § is 24" Next night I impressed truth about 5 times § upon her, and the third night the identity of 8 times 8 and 64. Each ing she knew instantly what 1 had told her, though she did not remem- ber or guess that 1 had done any such telling. And, lo' the table of 8s was conquered. For the three num- bers had been chosen strategically to serve as mental pegs for the others After knowing 3 times 5, for in- stance, she could get 2 ‘times or 4 times by simple subtraction or addition—a much easler and less ab- struse mathematical operation, to a child’s mind, than multiplication. Other tables were then dealt with similarly, and with very little diffi- culty she acquired permanent mastery of them. Then my son came home from school one day under orders to learn the preamble to the Constitution of the United States. I went over it with him very carefully, defining the unfamiliar words and explaining the meaning of the phrases till he really understood the preamble. But to commit it to memory was another thing. So after he had fallen leep eral times: “We, the people United States, in order to more perfect Unlon—" When he got up in the morning he knew it, and recited it to me before he went to school. Sometimes, however, progress is not 8o rapid. Belleving strong bodies are essentlal to strong minds, 1 had been much concerned because my daughter disliked milk. Only by tax- ing my patience and ingenuity to the utmost could I get her to drink any. Finally I began lecturing at night on the merits of the beverage, enter- ing the room noiselessly and begin- of the form a make you grow. Please drink milk every day.” After a few nights she began drinking milk with less diffi- culty, and then one morning she woke up'.actually asking for it With automobiles and otber urban perils on the increase, another pri- mary need ‘'of children is carefulness. So ome of my skeletonized discourse repeated at frequent .intervals, runs: “Be careful at all times. Look on all sides before crossing a street.” Words which my daughter persists in misspelling I also teach her at No wonder | | at the | morn- | | foreign | ones, are as a rule promising fiel I recited it very slowly to him sev-| ning in an audfble whisper, “Milk will | mouth, being made doubly sure, the child i3 re warded by a high mark in his favorite work. These are & few of my experiences Friends who at first scoffed genially my enthusiasm er tried the same methods with similar results One helped & son into Latin; another a daughter through geometry. Nc general rule can be laid down. But subjects involving memorizing or morals seem to lend themselves best to “slumber instruction.” Poetr dates, troublesome spellings, bristl frac.ons, multiplication tables, rules of grammar, vocabulary words in languages, the building o and removal of bad good habits Only the essence of the subject should be given in these lectur: Any elaboration can be done later during the day. And in teaching such things as ethics and morals, results are better if the Instruction is put i positive terms. Don't say “Don’t” to a sleeping disciple, to violate my own rule. The negative command in- hibits action, where the positive com- mand stimulates action and is con- structive. One more thing. This may be an indiscreet telling of tales out of nigh school, but—children are not the only fruitful subjects for this method of instruction. A former neighbor of mine had a husband with one unpleas ant weakness. If things went wrong he would let fly a volley of disagree- able epithets at his wife. He always regretted it afterward, but the hab was deeprooted. She decided to give my method of painless instruction i test and chastise him without his knowledge. First making sure he was fast asleep, she began on the helpless man “Please call me only by my name.” On alternate nights she admonished him: “Please call me dear.” And one morning he got up declaring that dur- ing the night he had got to thinking over his failing, and had taXen an oath mnever to call his wife names again Another neighbor method on her husband. They were In business together. To their mutual detriment he had a way of giving wrong change whenever more than one customer was in the store. All her pleas that he use greater care were vain. No day went by without a loss caused by his errors at the cash register. So one night when he was fast asleep she urged: “Please give correct change.” He, 100, responded in due timeto this treatment, and d his wife he felt an “in- " to give correct change. It came over him, he said, every time he went to the cash register. also tried the