Evening Star Newspaper, November 18, 1923, Page 74

e " Young Sailor Encountets New Perils in Voyages on Gr Continuing the narration of his adventures as a sailor, Chief Ken- lon last week related how the crew of & vessel in the Arabian sea be- came afficted with a deranging fever, incapacitating every one on board except two apprentices and himself; and how he, though only & youth, navigated the ship almost to her destination in the Bay of Bengal. He also described a pas- #age on an immigrant ship from Ireland on which he made the ac- quaintance of a family group in which there were three daughters. On this vovage he was destined to meet his fate in the person of his future mate through life. After reaching America on his first voy- age he shipped out from New York on a “fore-and-aft” schoon- er for Central America and then on a Baltic and Mediterranean trader. When only twenty-one he was made master of a 350-ton ves- 89l salling from an Irish port. Shipping agailn on a steamship for transatlantic work, he learn- ed upon reaching New York that Marjorie, an Irish lass of his n tive town and the sweetheart of his boyhood, was desperately ill. He returned to Ireland at once and hastened to her bedside. With his appearance she rallled and young Kenlon came back to Amer- ica deciding, largely upon her ac- count, to quit the sea. Proceeding inland as far as Chi- ©ago in search of work, which was difficult to find, he encountered a very old friend from home, Paddy O'Sheel, who was a policeman. Paddy put him up for the night (o & dive which appeared to be in- habited chiofly by thugs. It is at this point that we find him at the beginning of the present install- ment. BY JOHN KENLON. RIGHT and early in the morn- Ing, aroused by the chilling breezes that came in through the cracks in the boards of the alleged rcom, I made my way to the Market street Lridge and stood around until “Paddy the Pirate” (for the sake of a more cuphonious title) came on beat. When he showed up 1 told him that I had to have a job somewhere forthwith. “I have the very thing. It Is just in your line,” he said. “There is a shipping strike on, and I know a man who nceds a skipper to take a ship o Green Bay.” I did not know just how far Green Bay was, but expressed myself as pertectly willing to take any sort of honest work. 1 did not like the idea, however, of starting my carcer in Chicago as a strikebreaker, and told Pat that I did not think it would do for me to take the job. He advised me to go and see the owner of the vessel, anyway, and implfed that the strike situation need not worry me. Following Paddy's directions, I made application at a shipping of- fice near the lake front and met the owner of a three-master schooner named the Resumption. This was very pleasant gentleman, by the way, who explained to me that he wanted to send some supplies to a lumber camp at Green Bay, this be- ing In the northwest section of Lake slichigan, at the head of a large in- let, separated from Michigan proper by a long bight of land. He explained to me that, owing to the difficulty of travel, there was no way of reaching Green Bay by land At this season of the year. There were about 200 men in this camp and they had run absolutely out of supplies. In fact, they were on the verge of starvation, It was necessary for our vessel to load fn the quickest possible time, and to make the trip without a moment's delay. I said something about the matter of the strike, whereupon the owner of the ship replied that I would experienge no difficulty in obtaining a temporary unlon card for the time being. “No union,” he sald, “would take the responsibility of starving a couple of hundred men to death for the sake of their union principles.” He suggested 1 should call upon the president of the union. I found him an able, alert man. He handed me the necessary unfon credentlals without any difficulty whatever, es- peclally as he knew what my mission was to be, wishing me Godspeed in the relief work which I had under- taken, * ¥ x ok returning to the shipping office O! signed up a contract with the owner, and then have to be supplied with a chart showing the waters of Lake Michigan and the contiguous great lakes, Hu- ron and Superior; also it was neces- sary for me to be provided with a sextant. 1 was authorized to go out and buy my own instruments and charts, and provided with a certain amount of money for that purpose. I managed to pick up a very fine set of charts of the lakes, and in a pawnshop, after hunting for nearly an hour, I found an old sextant, pretty well used up, but which would serve my purpose, after 1 had corrected it. I could not ““THERE WERE TWO FEET OF ICE ON OUR DECKS, [] o I told him I would : &ot a chronometer that was worth anything for the limited amount of money at my disposal, so 1 decided to make my watch answer the purpose. In accepting this lake job my ex- perience as a coaster in Europe dem- onstrated its usefulness. 1 was not the least bit doubtful about tackiing the job when I saw by my charts that I had about 180 miles in one direction and 85 miles in another, providing me with sufficient “sea room" for al- most any ordinary purpose. I was somewhat nonplussed by the terrible names of different places and points of land, lighthouses and such things along the lake. For instance, there were Waukegan, Sheboygan, Manitowne, Kewaunee, Skillagallee and the like. However, as most of these points were on shore, and I |mnde up my mina to give myselt | forty miles seaway in any direction, 11 was not very much disturbed by the conditions. What worried me considerably more, however, than these matters, was the personnel of the crew. To my aston- ishment, when I went on board, I found that they were shipping A woman cook, who took her part with the rest of the sallors. She was of THE SUNDAY them both empty. There was another cask close to the galley. This also I found to be empty. I came to the conclusion that the water was stored in one of the deck- | houses and I began to make a very careful search for it; but, as my search resulted in not finding water, and as the situation seemed to be serious, I stepped to the door of | the galley and met tlhie cook just as 1 i what I might term “canal-boat build, broad-shouldered, wide faced, and, if she had been dressed as a man. there would have been no question about her sex, so far as appearance went. red and sufficlently large to take care of herself in almost any emer- {gency. I asked the mate, a man | named Greene, “What is that woman dolng on board?" Intending to order { she was a necessary part of the crew, and that if 1 fired her everybody would quit. The rest of the crew were a rather unsallorlike - looking lot, but they knew their business well, and I found them very smart in getting on board our supplies, and generally in han- dling & ship and obeying orders quickly and capably. We finally got the schooner smartly out of Chicago and spread our sails to a spanking southwest breeze, which set us well on our course in the di- rection of Green bay. The Resumption was ome of the fastest vessels I have ever had the pleasure of sailing. A notable fea- ture about her was a mainmast reach- ing 147 feet high; the longest spar I had ever seen in my lite. The spread of sall on this “stick” was simply tmmense. Of course, there were brails to hold it in, but when that sail was spread to the breeze she was like a fast yacht, and could reel oft twelve to fourteen knots on a bowline. * x x % NOTHER peculiar feature about this vessel was her centerboard. I knew nothing about managing this “contraption,” which I left to the judgment of the very capable mate, who understood when to pull it up and let it down. It seemed to enable the ship to stand up well into the wind. 1 was naturally anxious to conceal from the crew the fact that this was my firat trip on the great lakes, for the réason that there might be a lack of confidence in me as a master, which would be a bad thing for all hands. Unconsclously, however, I gave myself away by one of those small natural actlons which a man will perform when somewhat oft his guard. | As we were somewhat short-hand- ed, I took a fairly active part in the Iwork of tspreading her wings." ‘When everything, including flying jib and mizzen gaff-topsall was set the exercise started the perspiration and left me sadly in need of a drink of water. 1 walked about the deck and carefully scrutinized a couple of water casks, one on the port and the other on the starboard side, but ‘very much to my surprise, \ AR oy, P T WHICH GAVE OUS LIST.” Her halr was short, and her hands | | her ashore, but he informed me that| she was coming out, making her preparations for the evening meal. “By the way, cook,” I said, "where are you getting the water to prepare the evening meal? will you please give me a glass The cook turned toward me like la flash and, drawing herself up majestically, eyed me all ‘over. “By the heavens,” she exclaimed, “fresh from salt water!" Instantly 1 realized that I made a fatal break. The fact of my on board. She handed me a bucket attached to a lanyard and said: “Throw It overboard and help your- self to some of the finest drinking water you ever tasted.” It was a little difficult for me to keep my dignity under the circum- stances, but I solemnly helped myself to a drink from the lake. * K % % WALKED aft and could literally “feel” the silent laughter of the crew as they followed me with thelr eyes. Though all on board knew me to be, as the cook had said, “fresh from salt water,” they realized at the same time that 1 was not so very “fresh" in handling a sailing ship. As my mission was to take supplies to men supposed to be in distress, I crowded all the sall on the little vessel and lald my course down the middle of the lake for Green Bay, about 160 miles from Chicago. Though I had never sailed on the great lakes be- fore, there was no great sclence in finding Green Bay, the science con- sisting in not finding it too soon. However, by keeping well out in the harm. The westerly breeze with which we had started out held until about mid- night, when we were almost abreast of Milwaukee and about forty miles off the Wisconsin shore. The wind veered to the north, finally settling down in a steady blow from the northeast. It also began to snow. Flying jib and topsalls were stowed and outer jibs furled, single reefs being taken in the fore, main and mizzen sails. We stood toward the east on the port tack for two hours and then wore ship and stood to- ward the west. At this time the gale Increased to such an extent that we took snother reef in our salls. ‘It was while heading into this wind that I realized the value of our centerboard. 1 was truly surprised to find how close our vessel was able to lay up into the wind. ‘Weather conditions grew truly ap- palling shortly after midnight. We could not see fifty feet ahead, owing to the snow. The velocity of the If you have any, | had | never having been on a fresh-water | lake before was now apparent to all lake I knew that I could come to no | . SFAR, WASHINGTON, time. These conditions reminded .me strongly of the Bay of Biscay in & hurricane. A danger which threatened us at this time was the fact that the blind- ing snow and the spray had literally frozen our salls and rigging. We tried to lower our malnsall, but found 1t tmpossible to do so because | the sheaves of the blocks had become | packea with ice, this spray freezing wherever It struck. The ship became, in fact, like a wall of concrete. Before long there were two feet of ice on our decks, which gave the little vessel | lst. No matter how hard we worked we could not get the salls down and with the wind at the velocity I have men- tioned there was grave danger of our masts glving way. In this emergency 1 became ac- quainted with another ¥wrinkle” of great lake seamanship. We had In our hold several barrels of salt and the mate suggested that we should get some of it and throw It around the decks to melf the ice which wi dragging her down. She was listing so badly from the welght of this ice that I would not have been greatly surprised to see her go over. The salt was hauled up and “broken out” and before long all hands, ex- cept the helmsman, were buslly en- gaged scattering salt on the decks and wherever {t would do most good. The ice melted considerably and not- withstanding a continuance of the spray did not gain. This righted the ship. By the same means we were able to melt the ice from the blocks and to work the gear. We managed to get our salls down and virtually to save the ship by the use of this salt. Of course, such tactics would have been of no avall except on fresh water. * % % % WARD daylight the wind mod- erated considerably, and you can depend upon It that I was immensely relleved when I was able to take a sight and ascertain our position. By using the crude Instruments I had brought with me, and checking them over for inaccuracies, I found that we had held our own during the night, only losing ten miles by the gale. This was a very able accomplishment for & vei der those conditions. We hauled in toward the Wisconsin shore and were pleased to verify, by bearings on shore, the accuracy of our observations. g Reefs were now shaken out, top- salls and jibs set, and the Resump- tion, leaning on her center board, managed to clip off twelve knots an | nour. . We dropped our anchor in Green bay before sunset that evening, and, needless to say, our stores were un- loaded by willing hands. Returning to Chicago following this experience I began to look around for another ship, but as the strike was shortly afterward settled, I was not in line for regular work as a master on the lakes. Wishing to know more about the lakes, however, quainted with Lake Huron and Lake Trie. I made my way to Cleveland and for a period of about two years mastered all the intracacles of lake navigation, achleving the position of first officer. My experience was not confined to salling vessels, as I made several trips on steamers. 2 ‘With respect to narrow escapes, I am reminded of an incident that be- fell me when taking & ship from Chicago to Buffalo with a cargo of grain. I shipped as quartermaster on a steamer bound from Chicago to Buf-|people—all spoke patols. An edu-' falo with a cargo of oats. All, went well until we were in Lake Erie, about sixty miles from Buffalo. I had a trick at the wheel from 8 to 12 o'clock in the first night watch and on bejng rellieved I went forward to the deckhouse, fllled my pipe and prepared to enjoy a smoke. Scarcely had I got it well lighted when I heard a cry of fire. Rushing out, I saw flames bursting through the " afterhatch close to the com- panionwyay leading to the cabin. The captain, who had been on deck most of the time during the first watch, had gone below a few minutes before. His wife, who was with us on the trip, was in the cabin at th moment. Running aft, I realized we had a very dangerous fire with which to contend. The deck watch, fin charge of the mate, attacked the blase and ] dashed into the oabin to .| notify the captain and his wife. , In. a few minutes they were both on deck and the fite had so increased that 1 suggested the advisability of getting out the boat and launching, in-addition, the life fltq ‘which we i a dangerous | D. C, NOVEMBER 18, 1923-PART 5. Has Stirring Battle With Gale While Vessel Is Topheavy With Coating of Ice—Taunted With Being “Fresh From Salt Water” as He Commands a Chicago Craft—Some Surprising Wrinkles of Lake Seamanship—Escapes From Flames—Down the Mississippi on a Small Boat. “SUDDENLY THE FOREMAST FELL.” carried. This was agreed upon, since the steamer was constructed of wood and her condition was hopeless. W E succeeded in lowering the raft, but the flames had spread with oped that part of the ship from which the lifeboat swung, making its launching an Iimpossibility, Wrapping a blanket around the cap- tain’s wife, who was clad only in her nightdress, we were able to get her lon the raft, but she suddenly remem- bered that her jewelry had been left behind. She fmplored her husband to secure it for her. His complaisance almost cost him his life. On his re- turn to the cabin he w severely burned about the head and face and AKE it from me,” sald my friend from Kansas, leaning back In his seat at the Tav- erne Royale and holding his cigar in his two fingers—"don’t talk no French here in Paris. They don't ex- pect it, and they don't seem to under- stand it.” This man from Kansas, mind you, had a right to speak. He knew French. Long before the war he had learned French—he had told me so himself—good French, at the Fayetteville Academy. Later on he had had the natural method “off” a man from New Orleans. it had cost him "50 cents a throw.” All this I have on his own word. But in France something seemed to go wrong with his French. " he sald reflectively. I & what most of them speak herc sort of patois.” When he said it was a patois, 1 knew just what he meant. It was equivalent to saying that he couldn't understand it. I had seen him strike patols before. There had been a Frernch steward on the steamer coming over, and the man from Kansas, after a couple of attempts, had sald it was no use talking French to that man. He spoke a hopeless patois. There were half a dozen cabin passengers, too, returning to their homes in France. But we soon found from listening to thelr conversation on deck that what they were speaking was not French but some sort of patois. It was the same thing. coming through Normandy. Patols every- where, not a word of French—not a single sentence of the real lan- guage, In the way they had It at Fayetteville. We stopped off a day (14 wind was about elghty miles an hour, [I shipped out on a vessel golng to|a¢ Rouen to look at the cathedral, found |Kicking up & s5.a in a very short|Buffalo and became falrly well ac-|A gort of abbot showed us around. ‘Would you believe It, that man spoke patols, straight patols—the very worst kind, and fast. The man'from {Kansas had spotted it at once. He hadn’t listened ' to more than ten sentences before he recognized It “Patols,” he said. Of course, it's fine to be able to detect patois like this. It's impres- sive. The mere fact that you know the word patols shows that you must be mighty well educated. Here In Paris it was the same way. Everybody that the man from Kansas tried—waiters, hotel clerks, shop | cated person couldn't follow it. LR ! N the whole, I think the advice i of the man from Kansas is good. When you come to Paris, do as the doughboys did, and leave French be- hind. You don't meed it, and they don't expect it of you. In any case, you soon learn from ‘experience not to use’ it. It you try to, this is what happens. You summon & waiter. to you, and you say to him very slowly, syllable By syllable, g0 as to give him every chance In case he's not an educated man. “Bringes mol de la soupe, de la fish, de la roast pork et de la from- nge.” And he answers: “Yes, sir; roast pork, tle bacon on the side?" That waiter was raised in Illinois. Or syppoge ‘you stop & man on the stréet and you say to him: “Musshoo, 8'il vous plait, which is 1a direction pour aller lo Palais Royal? ' ir, and a lit- such rapidity that they had envel-| | he failed, in addition, to gain his | object. | The dry oats proved excellent fuel, |and it speedily became evident that { the ship was doomed. We had elther to remain by It or take to the raft, | which was bullt to carry ten per- | sons, while we were fourteen all told. | The stokers, engineers and deck | hands Joined the terrified woman, while the captain, the mate and I went forward to that part of the | vessel which was not yet involved In the general conflagration. We stood | together near the bow watching the {fire advance slowly toward us. The heat was intense and the lake lighted up for miles around the flames. Suadenly the foremast fell. It bare- {1y missed the captain, who stood in a dazed condition by my side. The mate and I realized that in a “THE TAILOR RAN HIS TAPE FERENCE AND SHOUTED: And he answers: “Well, 1 tell you, I'm something of a stranger here myself, but I guess it's straight down there a plece.” On the other hand, you may strike a real Frenchiman—there are some even in Paris. I met one the other day in trying to fina my way about, and I asked him: “Musshoo, s'{l vous plait, which is la direction pour aller a Thomas Cook & Son?” “I'm’ss'ulvia’n’fsse’n'sse'pas!" I sald: “Thank you so much! half suspected it myself.” So I have come to make it a rule | never to use French unless driven to it. ‘Thus, for example, I had a tre- ! mendous linguistic struggle in a |Franch tallor shop. | There was a sign in the window !to the effect that “completes” might | be had “for a hundred.” It seemed & jchance not to be missed. Moreover, the same sign said that English was spoken. So I went in. True to my usual principle of ignoring the French lan- guage, I sald to the head man: “You speak English?" He shrugged . his shoulders, spread out his hands and looked at the clock on the wall. “Presently,” he said. id, “but why not speak it right away' The tallor agaln looked at the clock with a despairing shrug. I had * I sald, “be fair about this. I don't want to wait an hour and a half for you to begin to talk. Let's get at it right now.” But he was obdurate. He merely shook his head and repeated: “Speak English at 12 o'clock.” few minutes we should be forced to Jump overboard and made ready by removing our clothing, until we stood only in our undershirts and trousers. From the raft, which was about 250 feet to windward of the burning vessel, came the imploring cry, be- seeching the captain to leave his ship and come to his wife. He shook hands with us and sprang overboard. He was a wonderful swimmer, and was soon alongside the raft. We, however, remained where we were for perhaps ten minutes, when it became a question of death by fire or taking our chances in the water. The water seemed Inviting in com- parison with the flames, and we did not hesitate to plunge overboard af- ter saying “good-bye” and murmur- Iug a few words of prayer. Never shall I forget my sensatlons when I felt the cold waters of Lake | Erle that October morning! Actually blistering from the heat, I thought I had been suddenly transported to Paradise. Betwcen the pleasures of dying by drowning ‘and the horrors of belng roasted to death there is a gulf almost as wide as that which divides the celestial realms from the reglons of the damned, and the sense of security and rellef from pain was almost indescribable. But now a new difficulty confronted me. I had learned to swim in salt water and I found the fresh water exceed- | ingly light and hard in which to keep afloat. By easy strokes I contrived to get near the raft, but alas! there was no room for me upon it and any such attempt on my part would have spelled disaster and probable death to all concerned. Floating and swimming by turns, I kept up for about an hour, when my strength began to waver and semi- consclousness supervened. *xxn MONG the crew was & negro cook who sang songs and crack- ed jokes In an effort to keep up the courage of his unfortunate comrade: [All the time that I had been swim- ming by the raft this cheerful creature had watched me, and as I was about to sink I felt his hand take hold of my shirt and heard his volce in words of comfort. He drew me toward him and with the help of the chief engineer got me securely seated on the raft. Then he slipped overboard, where he lay on his back and floated like a chip. For seven hours he stayed In the water, helping the captain and mate alternately to rest on the raft when they became exhausted. The chief engineer and another took turns in swimming, but neither stayed in the water as long as this sturdy colored man. Never once did he complain. He was the same cheer- ful soul at the end of his long trial as he had been when he left Chicago. We were rescued eventually by a tug which had put out from Buffalo, having seen the flames sixty miles away. The memory of that brave negro 3 AROUND THE MAJOR CIRCUM- ‘A HUNDRED AND FIFTY.” ‘The solution of it struck me. “Ah!" 1 sald, speaking in French, “tres bong! There is somebody who comes at 12, quelqu'un qui vient a midi, who can talk English.” “Precisement,” sald the tailor, wreathed In smiles and waving his tape coquettishly about his neck. “You fiirt!” I said, “but let's get to busine: I want a suit, un soot, un complete, complet, ‘comprenesvous, veston, gilet, une pair de panteloon— everything—do you get me?" ‘The tailor was now all animation. “Ah, certalnement,” he said, “mon- sleur desires a fantasy—une fantaisle, is it not?" A fantasy! Good heavens! * % kKX [E man had evidently got the idea from my naming so many things that I wanted a suit for a fancy dre: carnival. “Fantasy nothing!” I sald—“pas de fantal un soot anglais"—here an idea struck me and I tapped myself on the .chest—“like this” I said, “comme cect.” “Bon,” sald the tallor, now per- fectly satisfied, “une fantalsie comme porte, monsieur.” Here I got mad. “Blast you,” I sald, “this is not a fantaisle. Do you take me for a dragon fly, or what? Now come, let's get this fantaisle business cleared up. This is what I want"—and here I put my hand on a roll of very quiet gray cloth on the counter. “Tres blen,” sald the tallor, fantalst I stared at him. “Now,” I sald, "I g0 Into it further,” and I touched another piece of plain pepper snd salt stuff of the | kina that s ?u-a. in the stmple and “‘une eat Lakes has always remained with me. I may say that I owe my life to him, for, although a falr swimmer, -1 could never have lasted through those ter- rible elght hours without his un- selfish assistance. There has always been in my heart a feeling of grati- tude, not alone to the brave fellow who, 1 am sorry to say, lost his life afterward In a ratlway accident, but to the race to which he belonged. It only remains to be said that the one life lost in the Lake Erle fire was that of the captain’s wife. She suc- cumbed shortly afterward from ex- posure. This was a circumstance made doubly sad from the fact that she was a beautiful bride of only four months. After having spent about two years on the great lakes, 1 began to weary of fresh water and decided to make my way to a seaport town. I was debating how to go to the coast. when a sallor friend of mine, named Oleson, suggested a unique method of reaching New Orleans. He pro- posed that we should go to Chicago, buy a small boat equipped with a sall, and make our way from Chicago to the Mississipp! river, and thence to New Orleans. After reaching Chicago we found an excellent little clinker-buflt boat with a leg-o'-mutton sail, a comfort- able little craft for two men, which we purchased and equippped with the necessary provisions and cooking outfit, and, after a few days' prepara- tion, were “on our way.” The current of the Mississippl, set- ting toward New Orleans, ran at an average speed of about four miles per hour; in some places it was some- what swifter. We found after a few' days' travel that we could make from: forty to sixty miles a day, salling only during daylight, our little ves- sel enabling us to make sometimes six and seven knots per hour. We took things very easily, camping here and there each night, as we found spots to our liking. We reach- ed New Orleans in due course, after one of the most pleasant voyages imaginable. (Copyright. 1928.) An Ironclad Bell. N the ordinary electric bell the vi- brating stem requires a long slot in the cover over the works, so that these cannot be completely housed in 1t this vibrating clapper could be ar- ranged to slide lengthwise through a closely fitting opening in the cover, then the mechanism could be better protected from the weather. This can be done by connecting the usual vibrating armature of the mag- net to a plunger mounted so that it will strike the gong at one end of its travel. It is easy to fit this plunger { snugly Into an opening in the casing, which can be a heavy casting. The wires are brought out through a stuf- fing box, which can easily be sealed water-tight. For marine use the cast- ings can be made of malleable iron and copper plated to withstand the action of the salty mists. MAKING PARIS UNDERSTAND YOU Stephen Leacock Describes His Fantaisie Purchase. refined language of my own country, gents' panting. “This?" “Une fantalsie,” tailor. “Well,” I sald, “you've got more tmagination than I have." Then I touched a plece of purple blue. “Is this a fantaisie?” The tallor shrugged his shoulders. “Ah, non,” he said in depreciating tones, “Tell me just exactly what it you call a fantasy?" The tallor burst into a perfect paroxysm of French, gesticulating and waving his tape as he put the sentences over the plate one after another. It was fast pitching, but I took them every one. W he meant was that any sin- gle cuor or combination of single colers—i~r instance, a pair of sky- blue bree.zes with pink insertion be- hind—is not regarded by a French tallor as a fantaisie or fancy, but any mingled color, such as the ordinary drab gray of the business man, is a fantaisie of the daintiest kind. To the eve of a Parisian taflor a Quakers' meeting is a glittering panorama of fantaisies, whereas a negro ball at midnight in a yellow room with a band of scarlet is a plain, simple scene. I thanked him. Then I satd: “Measure me—mesurez-mol, passez said the French 1s | 1e tape line autour de mot.” He did it. * ok x % DON'T know what it Is they measure you In, whether in centi- meters or cublc feet or what it is, but the effect is appalling. The tallor runs his tape round your neck and calls “sixty!” Then he puts it round the major circumference and shouts “a hundred and fifty!" It sounded a record breaker. I felt that there should have been a burst of applause. But, to tell the truth, I have friends—quiet, sedentary men in the professorfate—who would easily hit up four or five hundred on the same scale. Then came the last item. “Now,” I sald, “when will this ‘com- plete’ be ready’ “Ah, monsieur,” said the tailor with winsome softness, “we are very busy, crushed, ecrases with commands. Give us time, don't hurry us.” “Well,” I sald, “how long do you want?" “Ah, monsieur,” he pleaded, *‘give us four days.” 5 I never moved an'eyelash. “What!" I said indignantly, *“four days! Monstrous! , Let me have this whole complete fantasy in one day or I won't buy ft!” “Ah, monsieur, three days?” “No,” I said; “make it two days. “Two days and a half, monsieur?" “Two days and a quarter,” I sald; “give it me the day after tomorrow at 8 o'clock in the mornint ‘Ah, monsieur, 10 o'clock?" “Make it ten minutes to 10 and it's a go,” I said. “Bon," sald the tailo: He kept his word. I am wearing the fantaisie as I write. For a fan- tasio it is falrly qulet, except that it has three pockets on each side out- side and a rolled-back collar suitable for the throat of an opera singer and as many buttons as a harem skirt. Beyond that it's a first-clas: steady, reliable, quiet, religious fan- talsle, such as any retired French ballet master might be proud to wean {(Copyright, 1023.)