Evening Star Newspaper, July 17, 1921, Page 61

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Maj. ¢ of the Prominent Questions of the Hour and Gives His Opinions for Publication. ¢ BY MAJOR TEE. T "last the great silence has been broken. The Sphinx has spoken. The one who has at- tended every cabinat mecting of the present administration. the one who has be:n with Uresident Harding on his early moramng ram- bles and his rounds of tne It links, has finally consented ‘o ha iterviewed on matters of state and other questions of importance. Withont doaht *he foi- lowing interview will not «nly be read with great irterest by the citi- zens of this country, but also will be the subject of much discussion among the premiers of foreign lands, coming. does from one who has heretofore steadfastly refused to give utterance to a single word that might in any way disclose mat- ters happening in or near the White House. It was only after repeated urgings and the promise that no subsequent interview would be asked for that Laddie Boy, the White House airedale, consented to speak. Only then did he acquiesce when it was pointed out that his knowledge of certain mat- ters might clarify a situation which was, at the present time, perplexing the public. as it * ok ok X HE rear of the White House grounds, the scene of recent fes- tivities. with its rolling greensward and restful foliage. made an ideal setting for the talk the writer had with Laddie Boy the other day. Promptly at 3 o'clock the airedale dip- ~ / “IT IS NOT A TASK THAT NEEDS ifled MTET from me with dif lomat cai bar the White l:onu,b.z .r':.!‘nfl torial touches by Willie Jackson, Ladd! Dgr‘v et de chambre. Proffering his_ Fight paw, vhe said: “I have consented to be in terviewed because it is a duty I feel 1 owe the public, and while I am establishing a precedent, I t#uat that in the years ,to come I- “not be called upon again to discuss any y public questions. Theé posftion I oc- ) cupy is a most peculiar ape. AR have to be very diplomay thing I do, Yor, as you aware, 1 not only atténd meetings, but also enjoy of the President’s compan: no member of the cabinet { ] l ,alled my opinion ‘on ma tional _importance, Yet been glances from time indicated to my mind tha like to know how I view. matters. X “Owing to my recent advept lié-pube lic life and as this is my fHewe iy interview I intend to giver-perhaps it would be better for you tg_interrogate me as to matters which youzdesige me to_discus: L3 The foregoing words were uttered In { a calm, dignified manner, quife in’kee ing with the custodian of welghfy ma | ters. There was, howeves,.in-Laddie ‘nur- manner a slight difference, and, 80 In order to put him at 'ese I com- a few per- menced the interview wit uery bein, sonal questions, the first “It is rather a superfluous tion, haps, but I am sure that.the public is interested in 'knowing if you are pleased with your present surround- ings." t 'With twinkling eyes and grinning countenance he replied: “I consider my- self most fortunate, the chief ond the first lady are wonderfully kind and one could not be other than happy, hav- ing two such loving friends. The mate- rial side of things is most satisfactory, my quarters are all that one could de- sire, the cuisine is excellent and the service of my valet, Jackson,' is sans reproach. The post is one that has created a good deal of envy, and this is best shown when I say that the chief and the first lady have received nu- merous communicatione from citize throughout the country asking permi sion to send them St. Bernards, collies, Boston bulls, pugs, pekinese and other members of the canine kingdom. but I Am most pleased to say ‘that all these offers have been refused, and-if correct deportment on my part will assure my heing the sole mascot of the White House. 1 will be here as long as fhy dear friends are.” R A YWHEN Laddie Boy was asked if there was any feeling against the pets of the former .administration, namely, the White House sheep, he re- plied: *“Not at all, but as you brought up that matter, I want to say.it brings fo mind a rather unique economic prob- i lem. The sheep that were here before, or rather their counterparts, when dis- posed of by their owner, generally bring * dbout two or three dollars, but when by process of evolution two of the chops taken from their bodies they are priced at from ninety cents to one dollar on the botel menus. This is.one of the eco- nomic problems that confronts the chief and his cabinet. It is a problem, how- ever, that I think will be solved ere long." It was then suggested to Laddie Boy that he give his impression as to char- acteristics of the members of the cab- inet and also voice such suggestions as he deemed fit and proper. After a mo- ment’s hesitation he said: “Mr. Hughes might publish a monogragh on_the ori- gin and derivation of the word Yap, a subject which has occupled rather a prominent position in five,world's affairs. The word does not come from ‘vip, yip,' which Is.a canine deriyation used by the younger members ' of “the race. He might also, in order o be consistently humane, put up a barrier against the continue the danger of phimonary trou- + Lies will be greatly {ncfeased, for our HOLMES TO TELE AN OFFICE SEEKER.” Mexican hairless, because if the immi- | at-the. gration of this species’ ¥ permitted. to| jclimate is not suited to them. They might come under Secretary Davis, in whose hands immigration problems rest, but of that more anon. “I would suggest to Secretary Mellon of the Treasury that on' some of the new issues of paper money the por- trait of a dog be placed. This migh be flanked on either alde by gentle ‘men up at the Capitol who pride them- selves in being called ‘watchdogs of the Treasury.’ It would not be a bad idea also to provide Secretary Fall of the In- terior Department with a corps of trained dogs to be used by the foresters who safeguard the vast timber domains. Also to have well drilled members of my race supplied to protect young cat- tle and sheep in the far reaches of the west. *“A moment ago I spoke of Secretary Davl?ennd the matter of immigration. 1 earrlestly trust that Mr. Davis, whose penchant wlill, as Secretary of Labor, grant all watchdogs an eight-hour day. At the present time many employed as pro- tectors of property work from sun- down to sunup. It is rather a viola- tion of ali union precepts. ‘Secretary Hoover, who has spent many years in relieving distress, should, I beg to suggest, do something for the poor and unfortunate of my race, for we are not only acknowledged to be man's best friend, but also bring happi- ness and joy to the hearts of many chil- dren when they accept us as playmates, and while. sometime those infantile tugs at ear or tail may hurt, the pain is only childish plavfulness, not viclous- |ness. The appellation of ‘devil dogs,’ part of the forces under Secretary Den- by, is an honored one as 1t means trust- worthiness, bravery and the desire to defend the oppressed, and the War De- partment presided over by Secretary Weeks, during the recent great. strife. used many of my compatriots to carry messages, and I understand that the Secretary is in favor of continuing the OF THE ACUMEN OF A SHERLOCK ! training of dogs.for messenger work during war periods. . *x k¥ : MA'ITORNEY GENERBAL DAUGH- ERTY could use some of the police dogs in ferreting out bootleggers. Post- master Genéral Hays should see that the mallamutes and huskies that draw the mail sleds ia Alaska are provided d I|With a higher quality and larger quan- uzzno‘l rations than they now receive. I m| it to Secrel ‘aliace of the mcfim Department that he or- der a strict supervision as to the con- tent of the material thatenters into the composition ot dog biscuits. “1 have watched you onseveral occa- sions when the President was receiving visitors and I noted that -you kept very close watch on them, paying particular attention to their feet. Just what was the reason of that?’ the writer asked Luddie Boy. “One in my position,” he replied, “must- be able’ to differentiate and to divide into classes visitors to the Chief, and my. impression I try to signal to the Chief. For instance, when a man comes. in. from the great wilds of the western cattle country I.can usually tell from the cut of his shoes and the odor of sagebrush that clings thereon that he is from that section of the country. ““There is something about his walk also that speaks of vast reaches,” and here Laddie Boy's countenance wore a rather embracing grin. “It is not a task that needs the acumen of a Sher- lock Holmes to tell an officeseeker. There Is a nervousness in his approach- ing step, there is a slight shifting of the feet and a_ hungry look in his eye. Tammany Hall politicians I can spot the minute they enter the door. They walk in with stealthy steps, glance quickly around to see if there is any- thing loose, and then commence to tell how the President should save the coun- try for the democrats—I mean democ- racy. Those of the southland can be spotted by their soft and pleasing In- tonation. Chicago men come in with a punch; they breeze in, make their little speech with the rapidity of a machine gun, pumphandle the President and exit. People from down east can classified by their twang or the odor of spruce gum, while occasionally a Vermonter is- spotted by the odor of maple sirup that Is in his clothes. People from California are the easiest to identify because the first thing they do s to invite the President to visit the coast and then tell him about the ‘wonderful climate California possesses.' * kK k (]S it not rather tiresome for the President to have to recelve so many people every day?” was the next question asked. “Undoubtedly,” replied Laddie’ Boy, but it is a matter that affords him great pleasure. . He likes to mingle, and, if you will recall, he has had nu- merous informal ‘at homes’ on the lawn. He- likes grown-up people, likes to talk with them to get their views. ~ An il- lustration of -this was shown some time ago at the horse show, when the Presi- dent_espled a beautiful little miss of five or ‘six summers, sperit _several min- utes in attracting her atention, and ‘when finally he caught her eye he waved his hand and several times during. the afternoon sent her a cheery smile.” “How.are you -treated by those who are assisting the President?’ I asked “Fine,” replied the White House mas- cot. “Every one has been most kind. to me. George Christian, the President’s secretary, and’ I are’quite ‘good friends. Jimmie Sloan, who. looked after, the President’s safety at Marion, and who is Mr. Christisn’s assistant, and I get I have had some very moments also with. Rudolph tha highly efficient chief clerk at the White-House, while the young ladies -who-preside over the stenographic department always. -haye. a 'pleasant word to say as I pass. I must not for- get to tion Mr. Hoover, who has for many .y presided as major domo at the White House. 1 véry of sit down { Pat McKennh and-watch bim.sort out the visitors, and ‘we often confer .on_matters concerning the dif- ferent-divisions of' myy, race, All of the service” boys,” as” Well “as the ee Secures F .-ipresident Harding's Pet Tak?s Up Some Is taking care of orph-na.l' coftened by the knowledge that It is |policemen at the door, I consider my warm friends.” “You have failed to mention,” I sdid, as he pauscd, are detalled fo cover the White House. A rather puzzled expression came over Laddie Boy's face and he replied: “For the first time during our interview I seem at a loss for words. arrived these men made much of me. They sent out many storie: my appearance, disposition, etc., l A - = “I HOPE SECRETARY DAVIS WILL GRANT ALL THE WATCHDOGS AN EIGHT-HOUR DAY.” late they have seemed to pass me up. This rather hurt at first, but’ then I realized thut the heads of the associa- tions land the large papers they repre- sent were comstantly demanding some fresh bit of néws: that they were hounded (not intended as a pun) by managing and city editors who de- manded -that they .secure expressions (The canine assoc: public's a ‘the newspaper men who 3 philosopher said ‘When I first some other question, so I have forgiven |by the savants of those days, regarding them for their seeming neglect.” my but of In four weeks we ,sqld 4 carloads so great is the demand ] . . washing machine that we have opened a special store for it.. This nationally known ' ‘fi‘ $165 . washing machine 89> SERVICE This is a nationally known time- tried washing .machine, with stand- ardized parts, any of which we can replace should they become worn with use. Buy as safely as you would an automobile. We Wanted to find out how . these machines were satisfying ‘those who had bought them”. . S& we sent out a questionnaire. - ] And the replies. came back: like this.: . At “Highly Satisfactory™i 3! . : ‘“Have recommended:it;to:my" neighbors . ‘Wouldn't do without i€/ % ! “Find it free from grease or oil;-just clean” Just dozens of “answers like that.. An occasional eomplaint, too—some women will persist in" violating simple directions. Anid thien our SERVICE depirtment gets busy, and soon thesé women arehappy. - - Fact is, here is-a nationally "kr(o“(n, high-powered - washing machine, simple ¥ operate, with all parts' practically-automatic. But we don’t want just to tell you'that this’' machine saves time:and strength; preserves health and youth;eliminates waste and drudgery. We don’t want just to tell you these things-—we want/to prove them.: - .- * Store:at 1229.G St. Alsosee Special display in women's.shoe section—FIRST FLOOR VWHEN. asked about certain ques- tions that have been engaging the attention of late the canine “Prof. Einstein's the- | ory of relativity is not new; it is merely an old theory dressed up in new clothes. es of the earlier from the President on this or that or | Pharaoh heard this theory propounded odified form it has reappeared from time to time. As far as it affects the fourth dlmgfi:lm that is a matter that had better be left to Congress, s no doubt some member will, at the present session, introduce a biil dealing with that subject. It is but natural they should, as .-bills touching upon about everything else have already been pre- n . 1 am quite convinced that when Mr. Edison ‘uttered his statement regarding college graduates that he was ‘spoofing.’ That word I picked up from a visiting British statesman. 1 find that by pay- ing close attention to the conversation of those from foreign shores 1 can te materis increase my vocabulary. I wonder,” continued Laddie Boy, ‘what has become of the militant suf- fragette? A little while ago you in- quired as to how I felt toward recep- tions, parades, etc. If you will recall the be-kind-to-animals parade held here a short time ago you will remember that T was on.a float and that I wanted to leave when I got in front of home [here and view the rest of the et !with the Chief, but the proprieties of the occasion demanded that I play out the role for which I' had been cast, 850 you see that we of the White House very often bave to sacrifice our own feclings in grder that the public may be enterta: and pleased. Not only must we te in parades and dif- ferent fanctidfik but we must be photo- graphed. in pany with this or that delegation os:distinguished individuals, Some time 1 saw pictures of myself in’ three different sets of films. really -becom@h tiresome after a while, but if the pdblic demands the pictures 1 suppose’ 1,will have to be patient. The knights Jaf the camera in front of the executive:offices are most consid- erate. They usually have me pose b; ide of ‘mome pretty young woman. JunFTom your obtervation, Laddie Hoy ust what would you say the Pre iken T0 o hext 77 1. naked. aloent hite House Pup, Laddie Boy- 'A The answer was: “He likes to be human, he likes sports, to mingle with his felow men, to go to the theater and to have jolly companions around him. For instance, he likes to play golf with such men as Chick Evans, "'nder Secr: tary of State Fletcher, Walter Brown of Ohlo, Senator Frank Keliogg, Sen- ator Joe Frelinghuysen; he likes to chat with the newspaper men and writers like Irvin Cobb and Ring Lardner. He is a great admirer of Walter Johnson and Babe Ruth. “By reason of my architectural de- sign, I have, 8o far. been spared from having any of the ladies, when 1 was presented to them, saying, ‘Oh, isn't he beautiful’ I want to contradict a statement that appeared in the press recently, during such times that I have accompanied the Chief to the golf links. 1 have not raced after any of the golf balls driven by him except on one oc- | casion, when he requested me to find a ball that had become lost in the rough. 1 consider this a serious re- flection, as one who occupies the posi- tion I do must not take undue liber- ties, and at this time I also want to deny a statement that was made con- | cerning Willie Jackson. It is merely a | canard. .an_ancient wheez The storv dvocates Eight;hour Day for Watchdogs and a Ban on the Hairless Mexi- can Animal—Classifying the White House Visitors. J v was as follows: Jackson went to a vaudeville theater the other day and asked for Laddie Boy's seat. The man at the window was perplexed and de- manded of Jackson what he meant. The latter is reported as sayi die Boy's seut is K-9.' The story is untrue. Because I have Deen installed as mascot at 1600 Pennsylvania avenue | T have not, I hope, lost my perspective, and trust that I have the same feeling toward the rest of the world before this great honor was thrust upon me.” Having exhausted my list of inter- rogations regarding world matters, a question long unanswered came to mind, and here was the opportunfty to learn from one who knew the secret that to # me had been hidden, and so I made bold ¢ to ask Laddie Boy this question: “For just what specific purpose were dachshunds designed ‘With a woof! woof! Laddie Boy replied: “They were originally designed for corpulent Prussians who were unable personally to retrieve collar buttons that had rolled underneath buréaus.” Just as 1 was about to frame one more question the Pre 1 | at the door of his offic |800d-bye Laddie Boy bounded to meet | him. of merriment, Juit as illustrated. ~ampers or for home use. _Simmons steel cots $ (Buslt for sleep) .Bought from “Uncle Sam” and he paid $5.75 for them 1.65 o Most convenient bed-cot known for 3 '\“ how they are made. % X { Continuous post—Simmons, patented, gaivanized, twisted link, rust-proof spring. Folds perfectly flat—dark Japanned finish. 2.6 feel size. [ " Some may be subject to a slight technical favlt in construction, but nothing “wrtutheir durability. Wh‘ile 500 lcst, pay $1.65." (Fourth floor.) The Hecht Co 7th at F wher »pn'ce{:irerguara_mee.fé 7th at F -~ *Sirice” 1881 Behr Bros they make every part of makes' for lower cost. tubing and, above all, ease in The Hecht Co. § ; #h at F Wheri _pricen ;x;e guar:r;teed Tth at F . have been making pianos; their player-pianos in their own factory—specialize on a few models; manufac- . ture-in quantities, and this standardized production The Behr Bros. player embodies every feature found in the finest : players—veneered mahogany case, transposing keyboard, _automatic ' sustaining pedal, ivory keys, metal playing, o 618 F street store open Monday evening, 7 to 9 .30 weekly Buy this ‘Behr Bros. A newer player-piano with 1921 features put back to its old 1915 prewar price of *495 — instrument to your home

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