Evening Star Newspaper, March 6, 1921, Page 60

- Armiston’ ' irto solving as fiction what proved to THE: PH HE Presenta- tion of a Case Unique in Detec- tive Fiction by an Author Who Has Written Exten- sively Along This Particular Line. no!" aid Armiston, the extinct author, with the air of a sorely tried man doing his best to be civi He turned to his desk, made a great to-de of being busy and interrputed He had an impulse to rise and dismiss the persistent visitor with a bow. But he hesitated to be =0 abrupt. The fel- low should take the hint! “Murder,” said the author, “is dis-| tinctly not in my line." i Oliver Armiston's visitor smiled. throwing a look of secret understand- ing at the fat BuddhiR who reposed among folds of flesh in one corner of the elegant room. “You turned it to very good account once,” he said mildly. “I recollect your crew did me the compliment to tell me I was guilty,” nodded Armiston. “The guiltest man unhung!"” retorted the visitor, with relish. “You procured that crime! Our moderation on that oceasion still astonishes me." He was & man of flerce aspect, but his eyes had the habit of merriment. Parr, the deputy commissioner, for| it was that exalted policeman him- self, was recalling an incident in career several years gone | by, when the famous author of thrill- ers was gulled by a clever stranger [ be a problem of fact. The fertile au- thor not only contrived (on paper) to rob the unprincipled wife of & diplo- mat, but when the tale was published, tasted the bitter triumph of finding the clever stranger had executed the crime according to printed direction. not even eluding the murder which to Armiston. engrossed in the plot, had | meemed unavoldable. Tnis atrocity. succeeded as it was by a mysterious gift from the grateful perpetrator, had created such a sensation as to drive Armiston into retirement. No! Decidedly murder was not in his line! Parr rose. Armiston forbore to look up for fear of detaining him. But Parr was not departing. He removed his top coat, remarking it was warm. and sat down again. smiling with sly satisfaction. “You inspired that crime, easily. “Yoyr moderation on this occasion astonishes me!” broke In Armiston. testily. “You arrest a reputable citi- zen for murder. You admit that the mere statement of the known facts to any sane jury would convict him. And then, as an officer sworn to up- hold the law. you come privately to me and say: ‘Please. sir, is a personal favor, won't you prove my prisoner innocent’ Is the man inngcent, then?" said Parr. “Yea" “Then why arrest him; why accuse him of murder if you know that he is not gullty? Does the law require a vietim? Do you intend to prosecute him?" ‘ertainly. I have no option.™ “Even if you know he s innocent?" “YOU DIE! THE SUNDAY o TAR, WASHINGTON, D. C ANTOM ALIBI Well, that's what happened to these two hog-ticd. when they were|tone: nd Sauer. He dissolvea. lling to back him to the limit, [our fric or got cold feet.” “Di or? That's a new line, for a crook.” Armiston, idly whittling a | end pencil, looked up. | I erp rintsw erc on one of that pipe aid the policeman. inger prints, bal cried Armis- ly. To think that even po- h lins would lay a sordid | GYATT Parr was warming up.| crime of Uhis sort at the door of a “After he had convinced the| man of Dean Pettibone’s prestige was | maddening. experts, the inventor himself began | ™FTH"Sliow you that,” saia Par to have doubts. They were willing | “But they led us to Petty. L He got | searched his plac Why, 1 don't to go ahead, but he wasn't. X ow. the queer idea that he had been fool- | {Ha" Y& there. stm, ing himself, that there was a flaw | the last man seen With Sau somewhere. There was quite a row, 1| and something had happened to Sa liavas Dt e moWldHit ko @hesd,|JonisTaboralory BOtty had £ igiead They repeated that they were satis- . {40k funoot Ok b ed” He told them he didn't think, pegiques of what, 1 don't know. Well, A A grth two whoohs. | we drained that tank, and we found riches slipping away from him, aske | this © shed is by fingers into a e E I woniill b6 Gontant o/ okl 1n | (K6 pushed Lig qruaby SnEers HE, nd 1 Well, | Xpe: Only a fool would I a vest pocket and drew out it of tissue paper, which he unwrapped him decide. suer backed and filled. and final Chd reFIald ‘Chie: sman oDIRcE aid if they would call in an expei of irregul D6 1 = in gular shape on the desk. Ar unquestioned authority, all right. miston stared at it. He examined it the verdict. He didn’t over the fact ias would abide b, { *he said, puzzled. . magnifyin eem to be worrying mold. isn't it t he might be fooling them. That g was their lookout. He was afraid he nodded. ol lour: friend was fooling himself." “It is the The functionary of police chuckled softly to himself. “Armiston,” he sald, “you told me corpus delicti that's going to convict Pettibone. It's the gold filling out YOU DIE NOW! I TAKE YOU WITH ME!" IT WAS ARW LITTLE DE. AND THE PAIR W mortal re- Pettibone of Sauer's tooth—the sole mains of Sauer, that couldn’t dissolve in his vat.” indicated a | Armiston down dumbstruck. the| “Remember. ntinued FParr, with bookshelf as indlcation that this| painful certitude, “it was only three branch of science was one he pur- | weeks before that the dentist 1 sued from day to day, as a hobby. | made that filling. He used the amal- “You know the big men in that gam process in making the pattern. once you were interested in electro- .. Didn't you study at the nodded. He file of electrolyiic journals on Armiston line,” said Parr. “Whom would you | He has the matrix—and it fits to a pick for umpire 1Is there one out- |crossed “t" and a dotted “i.”" Further- standing man? more.” said the p man, as “Pettibone—Dean Pettibone,” said | watched Armiston with keen ey “the dentist happens 1o have the pre- Armiston, without hesitation. t liminary rubber impression he took of Parr nodded, as if he had expected this answer. Sauer's jaw. “You won't tell me you “They picked Pettibone he said,|can counterfeit that. Those are the turning to smile at Buadha. facts. Armiston,” he conciuded. and “And he took one look, and gave | he leaned back in his chair to await | them the laugh.” put in Armiston. | the verdict. i “I know just how he would do—| In his school days Dean I'ettibone without batting an eyelash. But|had been Armiston’s kindly guide and | what has this to do with murder,! friend. one of those rare teachers who | And vour executing a man who didn’t [ achieve something like saintship in | “Facts, my dear boy. Facts. I can’t | commit i the memory of their students. xo behind “facts. I can’t. You ecan. “Patience! T am coming to that.”| “It's—proposterous——" ‘That's why 1 come to you. .| said Parr mildly. “Well, they made|began, and halted. “Are you goingi “How do you know he is innocent?” | several dates. Pettibone agreed to|to maintain in court that dear old| (In spite of himself, Armiston was| come, not because he took any stock | Petty—why, he doesn't weigh a good (Fiving heed. Nevertheless, he was de- | in it, but just to humor Brown. Then |hundred pounds—carried the dead termined to smash Parr by logic, if | our friend Sauer contracted a jump-|bedy of Sauer across town. in the| insolence failed. ing tooth. And for about three weeks | middle of the night, to get rid of| * x % % he groancd in a dentist’s chair, more | him in his vat? | concerned about saving that tooth | ‘“‘Preposterons” " said Parr. “Not | GEOW does a bird know north fn | (HoC e AU T hintion dotiars. |at all It was midnight. Sauers| spring?’ answered the imper-| Finally, the tooth was fixed up, and |apartment s on the ground floor— | turbable policeman, to whom nobody, not l:v had a session. l':lnbom{i me- with a private entrance in the side = 8 ed Sauer some aluminum, and Sauer | street. Pettibone admits he came even his best friend, would have ascribed | .t ahead with his usual hocus-land went in his coupe. alone. the smallest touch of imagination. He! pocus. When the thing was cooked. | body saw him leave Sauer's rooms dealt with facts, as such: he was in- capable of going beyond facts. He b«-“ lieved in shoe-leather and elbow-grease, not divination. Thus he had made his reputation as the very Nemesis of the| law. And yet today he had crine pn-i wvately to the extinct author, whom he | had not seen since that lamented cir- | cumstance of long ago, and said, some- what_astonished at his own words: am about to convict an innocent man of murder. Tndeed I will, T must. unless vou can find xome way to prevent me.” | 3t was a tribute to the cogency of Armiston’s fiction mind. i “Just what are the facts™" sai Armiston. softening. And Parr. final- | 1y convinced that he had struck fire | in his quest for subtlety of imagi tion to oppose his facts, hitched his chair nearer. “Finger-prints——" he began. “Bosh! Finger-prints are not facts" eried Armiston, now fairly in the xad dle. “Anybody can counterfeit fiinger- prints. It's merely a process of pho- tography. | “There you are!” exclaimed the| deputy, beaming on Buddha. “I didn't | know that. i don't know it yet. Can | it be done?" | Armiston daubed his thumb with! the ink-bottle cork, and stamped it | on a sheet of paper, making his own | thumb print | | ) * “Photograph that, life-size' said corpus delicti.” g he looked up at Armiston’s Oliver. “Print it on a pellicle of “We can't produce it repeated Parr. Unieas ho was verv gelatin sensitized with bichromate of |“And we are going to send Pet- d started a fire, Potash. Soak the gelatin _in cold tihone to the chair P water. What have vou” You will ‘Pettibone cjaculate find on that pellicle of gelatin, in re- author, now sitting up Armiston emerged he ief, the exact duplicate of the lines going to execute Pettibe S g of ‘my thumb. The lines stand up |peated. “Oh. m fellow ! e uous o Pke Do Smear it with nk, grease, (Lhis i% 100 much of @ good thing in the air. Not infrequently blood. anything—leave the imprint| “Pettibone the Jast man s even in a city of such involved com- any pluce you want to—on r he flour. A were upset | niaxes as this, there co A Soiver handle. safe, door, window— |“Something happened. Nobody knows | b ¢ 9 somies & viomanty % nise et Tl engineer in the base. | 4R oovasion. when street sweeper and “Marvelous™ . [ment was roused by a racket. Then|applewoman, milady and her maid, | A ot at all. Elemental” corrected |water begun coming through the ceil- | stockbroker and greengrocer, think . y. "8 uch for your jng he as A 0 a § Armiston, dry’ o m YOur ing as if there was a flood upstairs.| . mome thought, as if an idea had finger prints’ It's as old as the art of photography—it's used as a com- mercial process, to imitate photog- und found over them like a fog. On this day ravures. The trouble with you, coni- " "\¢ji (2w axploded Armiston, for every street corner had its lit issioner. {s that vou don't recow-)p, il paused, smiling queerly, |group, heads togethar; in the restau nize a fact when Yo it. You| Pl rant where Armiston Junched usually accept somebody's Eay-S 1 people ¢ print I8 rospel to vou It C\"OTHING " muid Byrnes. “Nobody | over their neighbo me. It's the first thing T re. The safe was open, a|fvmale cashier inst Wender how many poor ¢ -, o8 pen. &1 nice da aid, * Tent Gp. with your facta™ He lot of papers were scattered about | iy Blee du¥.” raid. Tather pleased with Limself. i oor. A r or two were upset | The latest extr : Tmore fRets o « 0 were upse e latest extra blared in larg L gl e L L and broken: and the city water was|type: “Held Without Bail™* On ateh, as u xenth 2 Guldn’t o it i quietest sid brief duration. Parr settled | connection t auer had had put infand swirled, the vat murder was on restfully in his chair | “The murdered man was Sauer— | J. H. Sauer.” said the deputy. | “A reputable party®’ | “Ne, 1 believa not. He had al process for making gold out of| alyminum. It can be done, I am told.” { Did_he do it % “Well. he did, and he didn’t,” sald| Parr. “He quietly interested a few yeople — good people — Brown, presi- dent of the Elm Park Bank. and Westcott, a technical man employed | jn the assay office, as another. Wiy | is it." asked Parr. t the elever| rook sclects the expert for hix hoob? | ‘nis one did. Imagine Brown und Westcott, of all men in the v falling for that xort of thing—the two men who above all others should have been wary. He demonstrated his yrocess for them. and they were con- vinced he had what he cluimed. There wouyld be a pot of money in it. of course. But it meant a costly plant. 1o start, Well, whea he found be bad \ ! handed Sauer a piece of chemically for murder, rid | or pickled, or whatever there was to be done, he opencd up the crucible to show the gold. Not a trace!” Armiston grinned. His laboratory is on a lonely road T believe there was an element of | danger in his research work. and bad smell—and he had to get off by “Count on Petty for that he said. | himself. Now do you say ‘prepos- | “Well, they tried it again, and|tecrous again. Nothing doing” Parr re-| “Cobwebs!" oried Armiston, con- garded Armiston with his dry smile. | temptuousiy. “Use a littls reason.| “Jt seems Sauer had been furnishing his own aluminum, hitherto. Salted it, T suppose. Those two experts never suspected him. You can get a trace of gold out of any sample of commercial aluminum—not enough to pay. but you can show it. Pettibone uspected what had happened. He Parr.” “*Reason” " said the deputy is no reason in a crime of violence But that He pointed to thel tiny fragment of gold, every acci- dental irregularity of whose surface testified incontrovertibly to its ide tity. He turned flercely on Arm “What are you going to do about that “You can't establish a murder with a zold tooth to show.” muttered pure aluminum. And he didn't give him a chance to dope the brew. Then he laughed at him. There was quite a blow-up. Brown quit cold, feeling ax if_he'd n made a fool of. So did Westcott. They left in a huff But Petty stayed behind. Sauer but- tonholing him. The last Brown heard, Pettibons was explaining to Sauer, in words of one syllable, just what kind of a crook he was.” “He'd do that—make it & point of Take the classic Webster- Parkman case an mple, The deputy commissioner ros pulled on his coat slowly. “The jury | won't leave its seat” he said. ab sently. “Regrettable, yes, to balance a man like Petty against a cheap trickster.” He picked up the particle and honor,” agreed Armiston. He yawned. | 0 0010 nq restored it t - “Thik ia il very thrilling, commis- [ O£ £210, 23, Fepioneil 1, 10 1S CISuE sioner.” he said. “But when do You|pockef he murmured, It will d produce the corpse> = your friend Petty to the chair. W dou't,” ediq Bact, (ER Y Without a leave-taking he stalked | What You can’t execute @ mMan|,,p In the street the police function- in this state, without alary permitted himself a complacent ! He called up the office, and with the ghtman broke into Sauer's rooms, and become static, anchored itself Thero had been a|the tip of the tongue wh er one three-foot length of galvanized pipe over | turned. ~The sleuth hounds of the b press, long fretting on leash, were sink. This pipe had been twisted | [5ome, full ory. This single obscure off at the elbow, and thers it lay on the{crime summoned into being my| floor. Somebody haq been bludgeoned | Phenomena of human interest and ac- itivity. On every corner stood im- with it. On one end thers wus blood | patient groups jingling pennies and | for his experiments. and hair. Otherwise—nothing.” waiting for fresh extras. It H the deputsp aused again for |often that the public gets u best- dramatic effect seller. When it does, newspaper cir- Have I hooked you on now?" he ge- culation must si nd ready to expand manded nasally . like a rubber band. Armiston b & to his feet and| Momentarily there had been doubt was pucing th sor. He stopped in | unbelie But th over- fro i s on, | Wheliai Then, if b me comn- wrrested for murder! Oh.|mon process of thought, the world om he suid disagreeably. “This | of newspaper readers became sophists. s loo stupid or vou. arr | At Armiston’s club his friend Ballard grinned, with no ill-feeling. This was | voiced the tone of public d > whe, Why he had come: he had deliberately | e safd: 5 e for thix explosion y . The real crigne was Pettibone's ut the body —what became of ‘the | overlooking that gold tooth. Fa des body 7" demanded Armiston. serves the chair for that. Pettibone, 4 “What become: lump of sugar in|a chemist, tripping up on a a glass of water”” retorted Parr. “It|for gold: T ondomn his ‘bunkling dissolves,” He sald in tho same oddlalter the blaw, was struck. But for A tiny ball | - TON WHO There | cultivated have struc i somewhere,” the grace of God—as some said Ballard, eyeing the cire that blow. a moment of blind fury. to be summoned. the summons. then usefulness be annihilated cause instinct ove split second” for 4 went on the hail to » wouldn't for gold “What Armiston, pleader. “Non veurs, swindler. TO TH man. yet— Sauer A decent man, a righteous ! found ould By Frederick Irving Anderson ne said “you or 1 might In each of us Aiting le, Most of us escape Pettibone didn’t. What | his carcer of public | simply be- rwhelmed reason, . o several of | 1 of rare mind.” | He knew what | that were almost classic. n save the dignity of his bare Therefore the more To And he, a| allard in disgus on a probl ) have missed—the solvent ! for it L ON FLO removes hi id the the defense Ballard was a lawyer savagely. | for another hundred | was u despicable | THIZ ADVANCIN OR W A CRAS 1—kills him. now we, in the name of justice, pur- pose to aunihilate with & brain a thousan of his tin Pettiboné, a man < ahead Armiston went through a_daily ritual before his typewriter. He serted a recording sheet, lightl brushed his finzer tips, and ga abstractedly at the keys. He had gre faith in this oracle: time and in with almost clairvoyant powers, it had solved problems for him. It was probable that the cerebral iglion in Ammiston's finger tips led him. on those occasions, through the maze of the keyboard. But now the oracle was mul >etty slipped up. for once in his Hfe mused Armiston for the hun-| dredih tim ared at the blank | wall with cyes, his fingers | poised keys { Then suddenly, and without admon- | itory signal, the oracle spoke! Ar-| miston’s fingers, moving mechanical- d writer. Sa Armiston felt a queer pricking at the back something two wors themsely That w The type phia m ora into an Arm park. conjuring him und Parr.” tapped the ke ue: of 1cle rgum ton took w stroll through t I he the police an Saue Appare might a swered Who A min own uer wa iston. ough “What besides t sisted. tail, not deputy had hoped for when “for proots of th He drew rd handwriti man, as that of studied th > wi elbow “Did the thin a in plative pi and v wit) Part h ¢ woman who b in ir “You remember his ‘og.’ been through it again and again.” was a life of an open 3 book of volumes. P e thinage s isn't | one marked peculiarity was the desire to B as would make h scientist, of all memor trust the Did he was ing Tnoke sn't He o ba h a bludgeon.” Oliver ignored the sarcasm did he lcave as an estate. | hat gold filling?" he per- bank balance—about something. 45 2 demand for mat the the 4 ne igned ng h ' 10, retofore has existed for him mere- | ir. bri near the u had smo pe,he sifh ) it n ng the e 3 v prec. d t I photographic mitted himself to try should not have left some this shadow i n spontaneously before his thoughts drift wer slip up any for th incontro Armiston departed. Late the afternoon the home of Dean Pettibone, demanded the type- ok, There was in the way those formed | is He let Did “Sauer? Did | his nny n 1 1 zet Del- could into far on the part of refused to be nt drawn if to think. But r had become 80 neces- of thought in his that without it anded to that hour later. erson of Le was a fact. »wn, or Westcott, an- he, before he came said Parr. references shade, Ar A4 blood | the head engineer,” ed up his exact A v sh on bashed ! What else?" rial de- flash of divination th first h extinet author the ad- now-celebrated forth u small on whiclo . H. Sauer significant i his name f a habitual d o tic in i her. with fir vertible ty of ript the inte proo person who here nudged Oliver's it whispered. out of he presented him- ick house encircled b ersity. Ar- d many a contem- | in his school days, of the comfortable wept hearth, gave him d given him a line to in charge, for the law als here to help dried- " he explained p little secre. d not aged b Nty years, as he re. i her. “We 4 Il trying . I want to look round life is an open book,” she They've Dean Pettibone's up his log. Pettibone, ise ‘mind of a born| he habit of saying that human faculties, e's to at Suuer emonitory human document, which reflected so minutely, seemed absurd—at least from a metaphysical standpoin voyaging aphysics. as he turned page t. in But Armiston was not the realms of met- after page, under the scrutiny of the alessw |dean had ingle explicit statement, respect ADMAN AS HE tin ol | court policeman and the a maid. A month passed. of public interest, MARCH 6, nxious little old The rubber band measured by the barometer of newspaper circulation, was moving on thro: of force. The vat m ugh other fields qurder had sub- sided. On the side of Pettibone there nothing to be contenteil iy ginnin their u! ve his once a simplicit Hi < d a man sused of resource: word, who made no a n a schoolboy | his contempt for the stupidity of in- flexible justice. Th but red himself and o spare him, he books: f the press even with much craved, achieved. He immu begged his friends t d himself in his The mighty voice o record time ~ to author of 1t popular 1y ad of 1y postman appe: or to cver come the deputy commiss viction, as he noted More and mor on without incident, t regretted AVINE €x fallibility to the ext vain hope of some su; “ HE st Fielder, re the d turned to Ballard. counsel for tl cused, and as he sat tered under his breat carried only to that man! “God help vou! I I could. Facts are fa Parr sat back in hi d a completene: dropped his and pern paw among the letters for s the expected. The himself with a in the be- for words and enial of guilt at s was no Here with rder, effort to conceal little savant of waiting in ED OVER THE And | humor how Oliver Armiston, the once | deputy, in his hunger for facts. hriliers, absent- yeglasses into ietter, render- helpless until a ted the back!" muttered ioner with con- this silly item. days dragged he police of posed t author in the per-normal help. listrict attorney down he mut- h in a tone that ears: done what have et s chair, his arms folded across his chest, looking glum. Bailard. famous stepped into the During the evi lard b inducing damnin witne facts of plea. We ason.” nit arfler his th nd indicate tie o nod, ax who should imagin liard rose to long time surv appetite had heen wh the great forensid add this man w sheer orator: hyprotism b ness in refutation A little thrill ra rd looked stepped to t sulted in low and the pri was decla th t bench tones cutor, i Cour 1 hox, held in vague suspe the scene wore than matic action mome first interruption somewhat breathle ton: he dropped in Ballard, giving the inquirin a scant nod. FParr no that the extinet ¢ swollen ey a second time n, evident some position 1 cither to right down the aisle witnes: in nor said The witn. wet. hi Judge and jury turned expectantly to turned on him a _look of | ixhime and stolidly d to order again who had t the last min- tation of th his clien t seeme gths o emphasize their testimony will accept any tered the district breath. slow i ed th ner with a sl Gy 5 an as th . stood for a e jury, whose intted for one of ir for which master of of aid only all only one wit- hrough the his watch why he con- with the court nd a brief reces tro nd ju waited; sion of dra- rily d. The 8 the entrance, of Oliver Arm- 10 a beside deput ted with surpris thor sported he green doors and t 1 b room. and te mid- a_person of e looked s he came took h as_the Then when n Pet- for a ire left, e s ir . and Ballard. s 1ips. iilary Jerome Swett.” vour Yoccupation am ah_inventor, lo~king curiously ov “Do _you know the Swett?” pursued Ballard. The witness nodded again on Pettibi 4 you last said the n the f “What was the occ “A “patent suit” cidly. His eves, cination, again' sougl man breath, and the whol forward in its seats. Mr. Swett.” What was the outcome of the suit, T the jury. defendant, Mr. . and turned his one. see T witne cde sion ponded Swett if drawn by fas- 1t the prisoner’s im A] court. drew a deep le room hitched I lost—my case was thrown out of court.” The words w. be hardly audible. net ‘Was the expert t ble for the verdict Yes,” he said now to have thorougth composure. “Wholl, Ballard picked up hibits on the table his eyes to the with great gravity ‘Are your teeth en The effect of this q a pistol shot. cutor, even the court, ibly. and examine a absently for moment. Then he raised | gy vitness and The witness started. violently; he blanched. He lrlfln'ed the arms of ere so low as to Ballard moved slow- et down everything from day to|ly back and forth before the wit- conscientious navigator ; timony responsi- he asked finally. the witness seemed hly recovered his he added. one of sked tire, Mr. Swett?" usetion was like The dean, the prose- , exclaimed aud- 1}0nce! o court | said the man, | s, without | tl 1921—PART 4. the chair until the veins stood out on his wrists, and, turning mechanically, he sought again the now searching eyes of the prisoner. “Are -all your teeth intact. Mr. Swett?” persisted the lawyer, cold and incisive, He held up to view the ob- ject in his hand: it was the rubber impression of the upper jaw of the murdered man, one incontrovertible link in the chain of circumstantial evidence that the law had been forg- ing about Dean Pettibone these last three days. “1 ask particularly.” continued Bal- . now suddenly stentorian. “about first biscuspid, of the right uppe Will you please show the jur: urged, advancing on the witness, who seemed to hvae become stone. lard opened his own mouth and indicated with a finger the tooth. The answer was unexpected ac- tion, almost too swift for the staring eves to register. With a single bound, Swett was out of his seat: he cleared the steps in a stride and bowled over the obstructing figure of his tormen- With almost the same gesture ed a chair, and raising it above j . charged on Dean Dettibone, erying shrilly You die no Lardner Makes Othello “Easy to Understan BY RING W. LARDNER. O the Editor: Well since the last time I wrote you a letter I been to the Manhattan opera house and seen the Chicago opera Co. that T use to see them free for nothing when I lived in old Chi. as the society editor on one of the papers ust to take me along to tell her who was who in the different boxes and what their dress suit was made of and etc., but now I got to pay $4.40 and up to get in and up because I have not been in . Y. society long enough vet to know everybody's 1st name, and besides and Tago tells him the Dbest way get his job back is go ask Mrs. M to put in a kind word for him w! the gen. and then lago fixes it so Moor sees Cassio talking 1o tme madam and lago also hints to Mogr that they been on friendly terms iong wile and Moor tells him to prove it. Well it seems like Moor was onp of the kind of men that gives thaw wife a hankercheif for a weddin present. so the next scene the Moors is talking together and Moor has got & head cold and asks the Mrs to loan him her hankerchief and she. pulls it out and drops it and Takqy’ picks it up and takes it to Cassior who don't know whose is it. bu} 1 take you with me It was Arm unused tective reflexes, as he was, on the advancing madman as he tow- ered over the litt dean. and the pair went to the floor with a crash. The next instant the court officers had pinioned the struggling Swett. “Your honor. and gentlemen of the rang out the triumphant voice lard, over the din of pounding and the shouts of the officers order, “behold the corpus \Behold the murdered man, in to pro- who fell * % BS AUER was a phantom,” sald Arm- * iston, molding a cigarette with finished care. He was tasting tribute. This was the first time wittingly the author had ever set the stage of his ypewriter with real characters and watched them walk through their parts. “Luckily we were able to pro- de the corpus delicti with an alibt added the beaming author, turning to the little dean, who sat balanced on the end of a rofa, “our conscientious friend here might have added another notch to his gun Dean.” Parr took this sally woodenly. Ninety-nine per cent of my work | common sense,” said he. T leave | the ouija board 1 per cent to the fie-} tion writers.” ! “Swett set up the fictitious identity of Sauer, with proper mak. up, to be murdered.” went on the author. “That was his game from the beginning. He took cight years to do it. Once he es- tabiished the identitv, he plotted to be hn\!.l(ht to Pettibone, to quarrel with him, to have Pettibone the last man seen with him alive. Then he nli‘in'l‘d his bludgeon, his fake finger prints and the gold filling—and van- ished. leaving the rest to Parr. That's all there is to i “But how—how?" demanded Parr, who had arrived at the state of open. Iy admiring his own perspicacity in enlisting the aid of the hectic autho ‘Habit.” said Oliver sententiousl t's the strongest impulse we have. It's not born; it's acquired. Tt attacks | man’s faculties in their weakest spot. {11 you ask the dean. he will tell you ithat man's weakest faculty is h ymemory. i The dean admitted as much with a 1 ITIIEI’ ASKED HIM AFTERWARD WHAT NOTE SHE HAD SANG AND HE IDENTAL rying to | afterwards Moor sees him with it and the N. Y. papers has quit t 0 has been telling print everybody's name that has got|belicves what lag a dress suit. So all and all T am not him. . as much of a opera fan like I use| So the next to be but when I go: marred they | woman he sa . put 2 clause in the contract that says | “Where at is dat hankerchief I doe We got to go to opera at lease once a | give yuh?" D she suys she has lost her hane yr. and the subject has been brought- | | A¥ kerchief on acct. of it being Satr: en up out to my house several times since the Metropolitan season opened, but T kept saying: ~Wait till the Chi- cago Co. comes along so as Wwe can : B T I 2o ol that{urdsy uight, but: exphots e flnd di their voices has begin to crack. Sunday morning. But she don't get L vell finely tne Chi Co. got hera|no chance to look for it Sunday mork, nd 1 suppose my reade 3 Where Mary Garden is now director |Ing, because she haent no sooner of the Co. as it seems like the direc- |than went to bed that same night tor, they had before got into & jam | ypen in come Moor and says, “Hello chicken,” and rung her neck. So right afterwards Moor finds out from Mrs. lago that it was all bu what Jago had been saying ab: Cassio and the madam. 80 tbe big fe and quit. This guy was one of t Italian conductors and the story w. low pulls a razor and pares hs o Adam’'s apple. e W that somebody sent him a new so- prano singer and ast him to try her A1l and all T suppose f€% #hat might call a problem play.” The voice out and as soon as the con- ductor heard the 1st note he pulled problem is how is Rosa @o! to killed the next time as it ms ) the bell for the car to stop and say: they's a rule that she can't.li “Madam this is your strect.” * % % % HEY ast him afterwards what note she had sang and he said he didn’t know but he hoped it was an through a whole -opera. This ti she got her neck rang and at-differ times T have saw he’r get rmbb;:n lap up poison and jump in & and lock herself in a safety dep accidental. vault. A is whether time Moor sees the litth- * % % % nod. “Rut how—how did you trace him— how did you catch him?" insisted the | “He caught himself,” said Armiston. ‘ou went ahead on the belief that it s the dean who er: It wasn't the dean. It was Sauer. You had seventy-threc copies of J. H. Sauer's signature, Parr. I dug up thirty-six more. Once he signed it ‘H. J.' in- stead of ‘J. H' There is one thing in the world a man isn't apt to forget —although the dean won't admit it. That's his own name. J. H. Sauer did. That was enough,” Armiston d, shaking his head at the dep- Parr. it all lay before your waiting to be picked up.” i1l 1 don’t see,” said the deputy. Swett hasn't @ criminal record. How one: ‘H, J. Somebody’ among a it wasn't as bad as that” laughed JA; lston. “The only ‘H. J. Somebody’ to interest me would be in Pettibone’s log book. I found H. J. Swett's name there. That was nough to go on. Then I found H. J Swett himself, living obscurely—the discredited plaintiff of a million-dol- lar pateat Euit can't exactly lose himself. . During the three months { J. H. Sauér was dickering with Brown iand Westcott to be brought to Petti- bhone thére was no trace of J. H. Swett. Thatwas another trump card. [1aughed { uty. The conductor give her a transfer And the 2d problem on a through route line that took her over amongst the starveing children but before she went'she had the sat- nessary for a man to ring their witl neck when she can’t find her ‘hankeér¥ cheif. If it is my advil is to sell isfaction of seeing them give the di- rector's job to Miss Garden as they motherless children short a8 they ‘ocn be at lease 4 of them throwed on figured that a woman was better equipped for trying out .them new the market. RING W. LARDNER. Great Neck, March 8. ¢ | voices on acct. of wearing her hair over her ears. Well Mary got here with her Co. and I pretended for a wk. like 1 didn't know it but finely had to ad- mit it and we looked up in the paper {Then T wanted his handwriting. 1 pS——e | schemed all sorts.of ways. but failed. e e s . | Finally 1 robbed the mails.” Oliver | Raiga and Chas. Marshall and Treat- A Story of the Stage. : | shook with merriment. “I saw- him | oo ko (o Gthello. Rosa is the 2 mail a letter. After he was gone I|pegt singer in the world as far as TTERTON BOOTH, the aseg E B tragedian. told on fis eightietlf birthday at his daughter'’s home iq Cleveland a number of theatrigpl absent-min@ledly mailed my own eye- {=lasses in that same drop-box. and {then velled bloody murder. till the postman came along and opened the I am conserned though the N. Y. critics generally always says her voice is too loud or something, but that is probably because they been hox for me. Then with a facility | et /& ProPAR PROTEE oper that achusils’ alarmed me T palmed | arsncs that If you dowt peck Bretiy | o Bincenses. ) L Bwett's letter. There was no doubti joee to the stage yvou would think #And then there's 3 theatrical which one it was when I saw the | {noy was in a moveing picture. Any- (man,” he said, “who didn’t learn read and write till late in life. evening Fiasco—that's the rascals name —attended @ Supper party. where a digmond ring was raffled off by a hard-up soubrette. For the raffle you had to write your namg , on a slip of paper and drop it in & hat. Fiasco was in great distrese- What was he to do? He'd have died of shame if it came out in this pub- lic fashion that he coudin’t write. “Well, the papers were dropped in (he hat one by one. and when the hat was passed to Fiasco he dropped in a blank piece. after pretending tv. crite on it, of cours ¥ iThe rulc of the raffle was that the first name taken out of the hat would win the diamond; so fi.dcnmedol“nn I")IS blindfolded, he pawed among 3 vl;!rx, and it happened that Fiasco the one he took out. verybody was astonished lh": he paper contained no name. :usse'r,i ':\round the table, and finally 2 maliclous voung ingenue got hold of it. She studied it carefully, and then she said with a malicious smile: “UMr. Fiasco wins. This is his handwriting. I'd know it any- where.’ handwriting.” The little circle. Ballard. Parr. the district attorney and the dean him- elf nodded their admiration at this | confession of robbery of the sacred mails. “That brings us to the final cur- tain. I wanted to ask J. H. Swett one question—about that tooth. He must have pulled it, to extract that gold filling. Then he probably had an- other put in. in its place. How to find out, stumped me. 1 consulte Ballard, who has the direct mind of a child, and some lawyers.” said Ar- miston. “Ballard said, “Put him on the stand as a material witness, and ask him' Nothing simpler. Swett might reasonably be called as a wit- ness, because he, lost a million dol- Jars through the dean's expert testi- mony in that patent suit. It jarred Swett when he found where he was. But he had great nerve, and he car- ried it through. until Ballard asked him about that tooth. Then you saw what happened.” The author tenderly caressed his wollen eye, now rapidly taking on iolet hue. ett had been living pretty re- he went on. “He was reading all the papers, and gloating—but he staved behind his shutters. This morning. I think, he got nervous. He ran out his car and started off up- fown. There was only one way to ctop him. Ram him! I rammed him! Then T smashed him in the eves with my fist, accusing him of wrecking me. We were knocking off each other's hat when a cop pried us apart and took us to jail. He didn’t dare ask for bail—so we had him on ice, so_to speak. The l?llle group broke up. Dean Pettibone sat for some time with his hand shading his eyes, as he codified Inis thoughts. Then, “Miss Pruyn! he called, and his little secretary entered. “Will you please take dic- tation. Migs Pruyn.” he said gently, drawing up a chair for her, and tak- ing up his notes. “We have quite a | hiatus to fill, haven't we? One must never neglect such things.” (Copyright by McClure’s. Printed by arrange- ment with the Metropolitan Service aud The shington Srar.) —_— * Sour Grapes. CONGRESSMAN was talking in Atlantic City about a ferocious attack which an editor had made on politics and politicians. “Sour grapes,” he said. *The man wanted té run for Congress and his party turned him down. His talk now reminds me of the chap who proposed to Lotta Golde, the old-maid heiress. Lotta, the pro-! | posal over, shook her head and said: “No. Mr. Ostrander: a thousand times moj It isn't merely that I do not loveyou; thé truth is that you re evem rcpulsive to me. I am rprised ‘that you risked this decla- ration. Could you not read your re- jection in my face? “The well known sour grape look gleamed 'in young Ostrander’s eyes as he gave a harsh laugh and re- \torte ‘No. T was never any good at read- ing between the lies.’ ™ way, Rosa don’t never sound too loud where 1 set when they's no society S red. —_— In the Bible. ISHOP HOSS said at a Nashville picnic: - wrhhe religious knowledge of toa. many adults resembles, I am afraid. the religious knowledge of little Eve. «So you attend Sunday school reg- ularly? the minister said to little Exe. “+Oh, yes, sir,’ said she. “+And you know your Bible? “‘Oh, yes, sir.” ‘Could you, perhaps, tell me some- thing that's in §t?' “T could tell you everything that's in jt?’ ‘Indeed” And the minister smiled, ‘Do tell me, then." 3 " ‘ister's beau's photo s in it.’ said Jittle Eve, promptly. nd ma’'s recipe for vanishin' cream is in it and a loc of my hair cut off when I was a bab is in it. and the ticket for pa's watch is in it : THEY NEW YORK PAPERS HAS QUIT TRYING TO PRINT EVERY- BODY’S NAME THAT HAS GOT A DRESS SUIT. editor handy. And these seats is just s good as anywheres else after you get_vour breath. Maybe some of m: e Othello when it was 2 play. Wm. Shakespeare wrote it, but it was a flop in play form and laid in the ware house till Verdi the song writer got a hold of it and turmed it into 2 musical show. But some of Shake- Spearc’s lines was g0 raw that they had to translate all the words into garlic and vou can’t tell what it's all about unlest you seen it as a play. * * k% % HE hero is a tenor singer named Othello that is & ®en. in the Venice army. He is marred to a white gal named Desdemona that some fortune teller must of told her they would be a dark man in her future. Well one of the birds on Gen. Moor's staff is a man named that has got a gruge vs. Moor, :;fiflto get even with him he decides o try and make Moor believe that the little woman is flirting With a 2q lieut. named Cassio. They's & big party going on and everybody has broughten something along on the hip and they all get a singing jab and lago has some home made fighting spirits that he makes Cassio drink a pt, of it und the next thing you know Cassio is acting like lost balloonist. In the mist of the brawl, Moor comes in and asks: “Who-all stahted dis heh ruckus? and they tell him Cassio. 'So he says, “Cassio you fine yoseft annudder job. % Well the next day Cassio sobers up y readers seen Artistic Temperament. THE late William Dean Howells had no faith in the Greenwich Village doctrine that the “artistic temperament” pardons all things— that authors and actors do mot have to behave themselves like other me'n. “I used to know a poet.” he £aid ohe day at Kittery Point. “This poet wa very conceited. He neglected i wife. of cours.. - “His wife once took him to task for philandering. She wept as she: told how she had seen him drinking champagne with a chorus girl, when he was supposed to be at work on a new poem. . “He didn't deny the charge. 1 thought you understood, my dear,’ he said, ‘that I am too good to be true’” l