Evening Star Newspaper, May 28, 1898, Page 16

ao ¢ BAIDAT THE EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, MAY 28, 1898-24 PAGES. | | Written for The Evening Star. ‘Some years ago, when typewriting was introduced in the public departments.” re- marked an old typewriter to a Star report- er, “there was a great fear expressed that the work would rot hold out in comparison pen writing: that the Ink used je away, and that in twenty-five | years or so it would be entirely obliterated and the record entirely gone. I am willing to admit that the ink used when typewrit- ers were originally introduced was not as good as it should be and by no means as good as that which soon followed, but, as far as I have been able to ascertain by frequently referring to typewriting done as far back as twenty years ago, there are no signs of deterioration. The aniline inks now ised are practically everlasting, if that word can be used in connection with with th: would fi any ink. I find that the ink used in pen writing fifty of sixty years ago, and in some instances less, shows considerable signs of fading out, though in many tn- stances it seems to be as good as when it was first used. The difference in favor of typewriting is that typewriting is the same all the time, while very few of even the best clerks always write a clear hand. Some of the very old pen writing in the records of some of the departments is very poor, for the reason that it was very poorly writ- ten originally. Some of it can only be de- ciphered with the greatest difficulty, and in cases of proper names this delays searches | considerably. With typewriting the initials | of names and the names themselves are as | plain as the rest, leaving no room for doubt and causing no extra searches to corrobo- rate them. Another advantage in favor of typewriting is that more is put on the sheet and the size of the record is corresponding- ly decreased, for there is no chance for flourishes, whic while easy enough to Fead when ‘resh, are not easily read after- . The State Department has never al- 1 a typewriter to be used in that de- partrrent, though they accept letters from the other departments so written. Secre- taries Olney and Sherman both endeavored | to get typewriters introduced, but the ma- | chinery of the department and the desire | to be ‘foreign’ in ev respect, was too | much for them. Of course, should any of the real foreign offices start in with type- writers our State Department would fol- low suit in an hour afterward, for it is estimated chat it costs the government about three times as much to have letters written by hand in the old-fashioned wa: as it by the modern sy writers. eS + purpose of the office of stor Is not thoroughly under- d one of the offi ‘The parti building in stood,” ¢ District bi | | | tems and type- | i reporter, “especially by those who have not | been engaged in building operations. All| kinds of questions in connection with party walls are under the supervision of the build- | ing inspector, and he and bis assistants | answer freely, and withcut fee, every pos-| sible question that may arise. There are a numper of from ir ‘ople who are actually suffering | onveniences in connection with Party walls which could be settled very quickly and satisfactorily if applicatica were made for the settlement of the same. Of course, the building inspector's office does not hunt around for such cases, but ft is perfectly willing to state the exact rights that each party to a dividing wall has {f application is made for the informa- n, and it 1s his duty to settle such matters {f called upon. Party wall questions are as . but that law is very clear "es, and there is but little trouble in settling them. ‘There 1s but little necessity to hire lawyers in such matters, | for lawyers can only give to those who em. ploy them the information that the building inspector gives out freely on application, Only recently a case came to our informa- tion where a lady had paid out over $00! for a supposed damage she had done to a party wall by removing her stable. The | person who owned a stable adjoining sought to have her wall again strengthened, and | wanted to have it done at the expense of her neighbor. She would have been able to do so, too, had not a friend informed the party who was supposed to be doing the damage that the fault was on the other side and that if the party owning the stable wanted the wall strengthened she would have to do so at her own expense.”" *** & * “The newspaper of today, as far as its Mustrations, maps and the like are con- cerned, is far in advance of the newspaper Printed during the war of the rebellion,” sald Gen. John Franklin to a Star reporter. “Take the pictures recently printed in The Star of Admiral Dewey and his officers, | the vessels of the fleets, the map of Cuba, | Prominent army officers, &c.. in many cases half-toned prints, the equal of pho- tographs. Such work could not have been Gone ten years ago ev for the simple Feason that the processes by which ULey are done had not been developed then, ard it was simply out of the question during the war of the rebellion. It was sare in those days that a paper ever ventured to print a and the best they could do was by a wood cut, which iok several days to make. the half-tone can be got ready in a > of hours after the Oceasion for it arises. The New Yerk | Herald and Philadelphia Inquirer were abcut the only papers that printed maps | Gcring that war, but the maps were noth- | ing in comparison with those in country | Bepers nowadays. The soldier boys, how- | bee ever, were glad enough to get the papers with maps those days, for they gave in- fcrmation about the invasion of the south- ern states that they could get in no other way, and it was rare in the Army of the Potomac to ever see the inside of an army tent where one or more of these newspaper maps were not hung up. Today the papers print so many fine maps that the ordinary | tent cannot hold even those printed in the issues of one day. To an invading army nothing is so valuable as_a maff, and it matters not how much confidence a soldier has in the judgment of his officers, he feels better if he can see it on the map himself. A sailor cares nothing for a map, for all waters are nothing but water to him, but with a soldier a map means a wonderfal amount.” te kK “Tne card system has been put in opera- tion in the upper departments,” explained a War Department offictal to The Star re- perter, “and it has been found to work very successfully In every way, both in hastening the matter of putting things on record, recording answers and making the index more accessible and satisfactory. In the early days everything was entered in large books, which were handled with the greatest difficulty. There was a great deal of delay necessarily in this method, for only cne clerk could get at the book at a time, and it was not an unusual sight to see a half dozen clerks waiting to get a look into the book. By the card system the book ts practically turned into so many sheets, and clerks can get at the various Pages without interfering with each other. It is difficult to make any brief expliana- tion of the merits of the card system, for there are so many features in its favor that uniess he sees the way it is worked an outsider can secure only an imperfect idea of it. Every time a new case comes in it is entered on a new card, each card, by an automatic numbering machine, receiving a number of its own. After that every paper that comes in connection with that case is given a new Inclosure number. Of course, ii gets larger and larger each day a week, and this is provided for by pasting a new | sheet on the card, so that many cards be- come, to all intents and purposes, a book of itself, having no connection with the thousand of other books. As each card ha its own number, it is filed away In boxe: each box holding from one hundred to five hundred cards. As each entry :s made on a card it is left in a basket for the index clerks, who index and cross-index every entry daily. In ordinary cases the index is kept close up to the work, though in case of an unusual run of matters. as there {s now in the Navy and War departments, the index is frequently a couple of days back. A card is indexed in some instances in a half dozen ways, so that the subject matter can be reached very quickiy. As the papers | are acted upon, letters written, press cop- ies of which are placed with the papers, or | circulars of information sent out, they are noted on the card and filed away, being given the file number of the card as well | as the inclosure number of each particular paper. Take the adjutant general's office of the War Department, for Instance. Every paper that comes in and every let- ter that goes out or action of any kind taken on the subject of enlistment, a very active subject these recent days, has the same file number, but a different inclosure number. Were it not for the card system the business of the adjutant general's of- fice, in view of the extraordinary amount of papers that have come in that office in | the past two months, would be in a help- less tangle. As it is, it is practically out | ef the woods at the close of each day, it matters not what amount of papers come We Mee hee Dun-colored horses are not the pret- tiest by any means, but my experience has said Col. Wm. F. Cody, “Buffalo FE when here recently, to a Star re- Porter, “that they are the toughest of the horse kingdom. An ordinary dun horse wiil wear out three other horses. Put as much Work on him as you may, he never looks a3 well or as tidy in appearance as a bay, chestnut, black, gray or white, but as far as service is concerned he will run the j others to a standstill. This is my expe- rience on the plains, in the cavalry service, and is my eaperience in the show business, where I have nearly 500 horses. Dun horses are somewhat rare, but when they can be picked up I would advise that they be bought especially when the question of wear and tear is considered. They are, as I said before, not strong as far as looks are in- volved, but for cavalrymen looks have to take a back seat alongside of wear. The cavalrymen, who are soon, I hope, to ride over Cuba, will find that my indorsement of dun horses is of some value.” Kee Ke “There are some things in the matter of ladies carrying bundles that are past my understanding,”’ volunteered a merchant to a Star reporter recently. “They are per- fectly willing to carry a bundle as long as it ts tied up in brown paper, or store paper, as many call it. But if any other paper 1s used they will surely object. Some weeks since iny stcek of wrapping paper ran out, and until I could get another suppiy I had | to use a white paper which I had had on hand for a iong time. Just as quick as our female customers would see the bundles being tied up they would ask that they be | sent to their homes. The result was that our delivery service had twice as much work to do as if we had brown paper. I lost no time in securing It. > Prince Henry of “The Mailed Fist.” Prince Heary, “the mailed fist,” s3ems to have made a most favorabl2 impression on the Engiishmen in Hong Kong. He is ¢escribed as a big, handsome, hearty and good-natured chap, a fine athlete and a strong man at the bottls. His explanation of the “mailed fist” speech is that at that row famous dinner the speeches came very late In the evening, after much wine had b drunk. Since that time he has stead- fastly refused to make speeches of any kind. Cousin Jonathan—“These look very nice. Wonder if they'll be better for keeping?” {AND IT WASN'T TREASON “I give it up,” exclaimed the wrathful Washingtonian standing with the crowd In front of the bulletin board. “They can fight it out amongst themselves hereafter for all of me. I'm through with ‘em. I'm just as public-zpirited a man as my neigh- bors, but what's the use of my chucking my cap up in the air—” “What ails you, man?” inquired the citt- zen next to the wrathful Washingtonian. “We haven't lost any—” “chucking my cap up in the air and yelling myself hoarse, like a blamed {diot, and all for nothing. We're a poor lot, and that’s ell there is about it; there's no use trying to cover up our inferiority or waste breath apologizing for us. We can't lick a short field of three-year-olds, and——” “Look here, do you know that’s danger- ous talk you're getting off, friend?” “——and we might just as well curl up right now and wait for news of defeat day by day. They’s got us bottled up, and we can no more win out after such a rank start than we can fly througk the air. The long and short of it is, we've sot no organi- zation, no esprit de corps, no strong, man- ful determination to win, and—" “Say, you'll get yourself mobbed, ul@ man, if you keep up a game o’ talk like that around here.” “——and they've got us right where they want us. There's no use in our holding our breaths and saying to ourselves, ‘Well, there'll be better news tomorrow,” and throwing this ‘manana’ bluff into ourselves day in and day out. All we've got to do now is to capitulate and disband, an m “You're hunting for trouble, and you'll get it in # minute, if you don't watch out.” “——and take any terms they'll be pleased to give us. Now, just look at that, will you The bulletin board boy was pasting up the score by innings. It was the end of the third inning. The other team had made 19 runs. The Washington score read this way: 0 0 0. The disgusted Washirgtonian moved off with the good will and approval of all hands who heard him. en TOO MUCH FOR THE COLONEL. The Corporal’s Excuse Was Sufficient Under the Circumstances. A corporal in one of the regiments down at Chickamauga Park had become entan- gled with a difficulty, and as a result of it, added to an accumulation of similar such, he was called to appear before the colonel of the regiment. “Corporal Jenkins,” said that officer, se- verely, “you are a fine soldier and a sensi- ble man, and you ought to conduct your- self differently.” “I was drunk, sir,” explained the cor- poral, very contritely. “That is no excuse. Don't you know it is wrong to get drunk?" “Yes, sir,” admitted the corporal, without cavil. “Then why do you do it?” “I_can’t help it, sir?" “You cannot excuse your fault that way, sir,” said the colonel, ‘sternly. “You know you can if you want to.” “But I can’t, sir. “Yes, you can,” ij man can help doing his mind to it.” The corporal stood luted. “Beggin” your pardon, sir,” he said, “but do you think when I heard that Uncle Sam had got into a scrap with them dirty, cl- garoot-smokin’ Spannyards and was askin’ his boys to take a hand with him to lick “em off the face of the earth that I could help dropping everything right then and there and grabbin’ up a gun and takin’ a hold with the old man and the other boys? sisted the colonel. “A anything if he puts up straight and sa- Say, colonel, do you think a man about my size cculd help doin’ just what I done and bein’ right here ready when he Says the word?” The colonel was stumped for an instant. Then he got up and tcok the corporal’s hand. “Get out of this,” he said hurriedly; “get out, and if you ever get drunk again I'll have you put in the guard house and nail- ed up until the war is over.” Se Trials of a Fat Man. Ses said the fat man, “I am learning: something of bargain hunting. My wife has Ieng been telling me about the fine bargairs she has been getting—geods mark- ed down from $1.50 to 98 cents, &c. So I concluded I would try it myself the other day, and went to a clothing store that was selling out at 95 per cent below cost. I immediately began buying. ! needed some shirts and bought several just be- cause they appeared to be way below cest. When I bought them I knew that they were a half size too small, but I con- cluded that I could get into them. Now. I find that I can't wear them, and nave de- cided to diet myself to fall off so as to fit those very shirts. To do this I will nave to deprive myself of all gocd things simply because I got the idea that anything ielow the marked pzice was a bargain. In addi- tion to the shirts I bought several nice- Icoking ties, which I afterward found to be winter neckwear. Of course I bought collars to fit those bargain shirts and spent everything I had.” —— Don't Like Withelm’s Idea. Kaiser Wilhelm has again been making things uncomfortable for his good friend, Franz Josef of Austria, by his proposal to bring to the Austrian capital th five Prus- sian regiments of cavalry, artillery and in- fantry of which Emperor Francis Joseph is honorary colonel, for the purpose of taking part in the grand review which is to be held on the Schmelz at Vienna in December n-xt In honor of the fiftieth anniversary of the Austrian kalser’s accession to the throne. The Austrians have not yet for- ectten ’66, and they do not fancy the idea of 10,000 Prussians marching through Vi- enna, even on parade. SS A Bicycling Bishop. The Right Rev. Dr. Kinnion, bishop of Bath and Wells, is making no end of talk in churchly England, making his episcopal visits in his diocese on a bicycie, and he has announced that he intends to continua to do so. He wears his gaiters and apron and black coat, but instead uf his sugar- Joaf hat he uses a soft black cap. ——— ARC LIGHTS IN THE PYRAMIDS. Tomb of the Pharaohs to Be Illumin- ated by Electricity. Brom the Philadelphia Record. The ancient institutions of Egypt are repidly giving way to the new order of things. For centuries old methods of transportation have been in vogue un- affected by the rapid strides in other parts ot the globe, the camel being the only Means of conveyance of freight and pas- sengers, and crude agricultural implements of Biblical times have only recently been laid aside for newer machines. Idle water- falls have been recently made to turn mill wheels, and where no falls existed the Nile’s waters are being impounded for bower purposes as well as for irrigation, ‘There are immense stretches of countr: A until recently unproductive, now covered with cotton plantations, and their product has become of the greatest importance to Egypt. English capital is now building a great storage reservoir near Assouan, in the Upper Nile region, in which will be caught the water of the river during the freshet scason, to be released in the dry times. This -vill feed a great trrigaiton system, which, it is hoped, will reclaim vast stretches of desert land and what ‘was once a barren waste of sand will be transformed into blooming lantations, growing wheat and cotton. Thus will be restored to the ancient country its old reputation and standing as the “granary of Europe.” The latest and not the least novel of these innovations is the illumination of the pyramids by electric Nght. Already the trolley car has invaded the ancient precincts, and it is possible to ride to these old structures from several points by elec- THERE WeRE- REASONS/A JOKE ON THE MEXICANS The policemag found the man sitting on the doorstep of24 house in 4% street rest- ing at about 3 &clock in the morning. “What's the matter with you?” growled the man when ‘tf policeman took hold of him. = “It’s time for. you to get up,” said the petrolman, pledsantly. “Guess not,” “hygued the man, quite so- berly. “I think J heard the clock in the steeple striking 8 a few moments ago, didn’t 12” 1 “It's about thaf’time,” admitted the offi- cer. oe “And that’s ng dime for a man to get up who dcesn’t havesto catch a train, is it?” The policeman was forced to admit that it was not. : “Then,” said the man, “what do you wan: to disturb me for? I wasn't interfering with anybody, was. 17” “No, but you can’t hang around this way. You must go home.” “Nitsy. I've been home, and I’ve got enough of it. I don't go home, you bet.” “I'll have to run you in unless you ieave this dcorstep.” “Well, I'll leave the doorstep. I'm a law- abiding citizen; I am not looking for trou- ble, and I'll leave the step, but I won't go home.” What's the matter with your home? You seem to be a right decent sort of a man.” “That's what I am, but it's my wife. Mr. Officer, that woman always was a ter- ror to a quiet man like me, but I stood it til] this war come up, and the first shot hadn't more'n been fired and the echo not half way back when she began to strut around the house like it was a parade ground and she was the colenel and I wasn’t a dern thing but a high private ia the rear rank. I stood it for a while, think- ing maybe the war wouldn't last, but !t wasn't no time till she got to actin’ Iikesa brigadier,and there wasn’t any promotion in sight for me that I could see, so last week I deserted, and I've just been kind of camp- ing out since. Hand me that tent pin, will you?” he concluded, with a nod toward an umbrella at his feet, and he slowly rose and prepared to march on to a new camp. es THE SPANISH CHURCH. Some Curious Features of the Re- ligion of the Dons, “Religion,” remarked the traveler return- ed not long ago from Spain, and by tha way he was a good Catholic, “as it 1s observed in Spain is one of the mest interesting studies the modern American traveler finds in that.country. The Virgin, for instance, always wears,ne royal crown and ranks as @ quezn. She has a household composed of the greatest ladies of the kingdom, whv take cure of her wardrobe, chapels, etc.; she also has landed estates, less now than formerly, which are administer2d in her name and the revenues invested for her cult. The Savior ts treated as a king, call- ed ‘His Divine Majesty,’ and when the host Passes by any barrack, the guard turns out, presents arms and the royal anthem, ‘La Marcia Real,’ is played. “The wardrobe of the Virgin del Sagrario at Toledo is well worth seeing, for its wealth is unrivaled by the toilet of the most extravagant queens of the world. Her manto for gala days is entirely of silver and gold, with 78,000 pearls embroidered on it, while the diamondg, rubies and 2meralds Scattered all o¥¢r it,are simply countless. Her ordinary rébes for every-day wear, so to speak, are quite as splendid, in all sorts of colors, maierjal and decorations of em- broid2ry and fike ngedlework. They are presents from popes, kings, queens and the mighty of the egrth., Her Imperial crown, dating from thp (sixteenth century, cost $25,000 in gold ahd workmanship, not count- ing the jewels, avhich glitter in it like the stars of night."; Th3 bracelets, made by Henrado, a fampus gjlversmith of the six- teenth century, also,: cost $10,000, .Nobody knows what wag the value of the gold and jewels given to this Virgin by the eid Queen Isabella, and she wag in addition the Vir- gin's mistress of the fob3s. “Villages boast of their Cristos and of their Virgins, as the, Virgen de la Paloma (of the Dove) dela Blanca (the White La- dy), and others, dnd when rival processions meet the confrades hay? more than once in- sulted the rival é. Delted it with stones und ‘mud and defended. their-own with the knife and bludgeon. Really, one can scarce- ly realize wien he sées things like this everywhere he gues that Spain is of the nineteenth century.” ae A Literary Cake Walk. (Copyright, 1898, Lite Publishing Company.) ‘W. D. Howells and Frank Stockton. “When we were down in Mexican waters, a few years ago,” said a naval officer, “one of the yeomen aboard our ship was a reck- less, dare-devil sort of chap named Launt, an Ohio man, who had seen and done everything, and was remarkably well edu- cated, too. Men of his sort often enlist in our naval service after going at a some- what tumultuous clip ashore, and they senera]ly pan out well. Among other schemes that this man Launt had tried before coming to us as a bluejacket, from which he was quickly rated to the position of a chief petty officer, was that of getting a commission in the United States army from the ranks. He passed his examina- tions and would have got his commission but for his penchant for going on occa- sional heavy sprees. We found him a crack man for landing parties, and there were several of us aft to whom he could give points on the handling of men in bat- talion drill. "When we reached Acapulcho, the chief port on the west coast of Mexico, there were assembled there nearly 5,000 troops, that were being drilled und equipped in readiness to take the field against the forces of one of the republics on Mexico's southern border which had recently been giving our neighbor republic a lot-of back talk. Launt went ashore one afternoon with a couple of the machinists. The three men went somewhat heavily against the mescal that is purveyed as a liquid re- freshment down in that country. Mescal will make an ordinarily level-headed man do more crazy things in a given space of time than any other kind of coffin varnish I ever tasted or heard of. When they were pretty well fixed with mescal Launt and his two chief petty officer companions took & walk over to the big gray fort on the Acapulco promontory, where the soldiers were quartered, and where, by the way, there has been confined for more than a quarter of a century an American sailor whom the Mexican authorities declared guilty of murder. The soldiers were all out on the parade ground drilling in the slouchy style that seems to characterize Swarthy troops in low latitudes. Most of the troops were barefooted and uniformed in dirty white linen, and they surely pre- sented a queer spectacle of inefficiency and impotence. The officers were begilded and besashed up to the nines, and they looked hot and uncomfortable in the terrific sun- shine of the parade ground, where the tem- perature couldn’t have been much less than 130 degrees. Launt and his two chums stood by and watched the languorous move- ments of the troops for awhile. There was a big brigade of them. Then Launt stea- died himself and walked over to the com- Manding general. In his white uniform, and with the commanding way he had of carrying himself, Launt probably looked to the commanding general like one of the commissioned officers of our ship. Launt saluted the general deferentially and yet stylishly, and began to converse in good Spanish with the Mexican commander. The Mexican troops presented an admirable ap- pearance. They were soldierly looking men —alert, groomed, puissant. It must be a pleasure to drill such a fine body of men, and so on. This is the line of talk that our yeoman gave the Mexican commander, who was monstrously well pleased with the amiable criticism and smiled all over. “Perhaps, finally said the Mexican gen- eral, ‘senor the commandant would honor us by himself putting the troops through a few movements? “I receive the honor in the spirit of gratitude and with an appreciation of its hospitality,’ said Launt the yeoman—a man who had been a bluejacket but a few months before, mind you—and he forthwith began to assemble the Mexican brigade and to put it through the swellest moyements he knew, and he knew them all. The Mexi- can tactics were at that time identical with those of the United States army, and so Launt was quite at home. The troops roused themselves from their lassi- tude and became alert out of pride when they saw they were being drilled by the American, and the snappy way they hop- ped about that big parade ground was a caution, After handling them like a vet- eran at quick time Launt, who had forced himself to the steadiness of a rock, be- gan to drill the brigade ‘on the double,’ with the Mexican general and his staff looking on approvingly. For fifteen min- utes the yeoman had those sweltering Mexican troops galloping about the parade ground like so many kangaroos, and when he finally gave the command to halt they were ready to drop. “‘Admirable, admirable!’ the Mexican general. ‘I don’t see how they can be beaten.’ Then, with profuse thanks for the hospitality of the Mexican commander, and an apology for being un- able, on account of duty aboard his ship, to accompany the commander to his quar- ters for refreshments, Launt rejoined his two chief petty officer companions, who wore a little distance away, on the verge of apoplexy from laughter. Several of the officers of our ship, including the skipper and myself, had seen the whole business from the gate of the fort. The skipper had not interfered, because he feared that if the Mexican commander was made aware of how he was being ‘done’ his humilia- tion and wrath would be too great. “Launt and the two machinists had to pass us in going out the gate. The yeo- man had a villainous grin on his counte- nance, and the skipper couldn’t help but smile in reply. “‘Launt, you're an infernal ruffian,’ said the old skipper. ‘Go off to the ship.’ But the yeoman wasn't punished for his deviltry.” said Launt to SS SPANISH PUNCTILIO. Amusing Phase of Castilinn Charac- ter Exhibited by n Cabinet Crisis. The cabinet crisis which took place in Spain in 1888 exhibits an amusing phase of Spanish character. The ministerial crisis had existed aimost a year, when the resig- ration of the cabinet took place as the result of a trivial question of military etiquette. The queen had left Madrid for an excursion to Valencia, which the min- ister of justice insisted on her making, ac- cording to the published arrangement, lest the postponement should be construed as a sign of fear of the Zorillist republicans, who had ccnyoked a mass meeting 1a the }same city. The Infanta Isavel, who was left to represent her, decided ‘to take a journey also, and informed General Mar- tinez Campos that her sister, the Infanta Eulalie, would give out the military watch- word. The military governor of Madrid replied that the married infanta was not legally competent to perform that office, and that it was impossible, according to military rules, for him to receive tha parole from her husband, Prince Antonio, Duc de Montpensier, who was only a captain in rank. The minister of war, who was not on good terms with the captain general, sent a brusque telegram ordering him to receive the password from the Princess Eulalie, whereupon General Campos offered his resignation. All attempts to settle the quarrel failed, and, as a majority of the cabinet sided with the captain general, General Cassola and the ministers who had supported his view resigned their port- folios. Seor Sagasta handed in the resig- nation of the entire cabinet to the queen regent, but subsequently, upon the latter's request, formed a new ministry. gee IN AN AWKWARD PREDICAMENT. Spain is Already Suffering From a Searcity of Coal. From the Independent. The question of coal éven in its own country is a very serious one to Spain. While Basque and several of its provinces on the Bay of Biscay have such deposits, they.are almost inaccessible from the sea- coast, and the cost of transportation is euch that foreign coal is used almost ex- clusively in all of the seaport towns. Fully Written for The Evening Star, Optimiam. There's a word of gentle meaning, “Afterwhile.” It’s the sesame of dreaming, “Afterwhile.” When our fortunes halt and vary, It’s the watchword of the fairy, From hope’s sweet vocabulary, “Afterwhil We will hear no sounds of battle, “Afterwhile.” We will miss the cannon’ rattle, “Afterwhile.” Men will put away the saber And together they will labor Each to help a helping neighbor, “Afterwhil This old earth will cease its sorrow, “Afterwhil There will dawn a peaceful morrow, “Afterwhile.”” When all grief is but tradition, Giving (‘tis its rightful mission), Ccntrast to life’s blest condition, “Afterwhile.” * * * A Moment of Distre: The base ball enthusiast was talking with | his broker. The various developments in current affairs, including sports, had come in for a share of consideration. Suddenly the ticker began to sound. After consult- ing it, the broker remarked: “Well, we'd better get down to business.” Then he took out a pencil and wrote: “Great Scott!” exclaimed his patron. “That can't be right.” “Yes.” it is the latest news?” “The very latest. It'll probably go the other way in short time, though.” “Yes. That's what we've been thinking all along.” The broker proceed to place a dollar mark before the 1.” “What are you doing that for?” “Just force of habit. Ten thousand doi- lars. That's what you stand to lose if the stock doesn’t turn around and go.the other way.” ‘The other heaved a sigh of relief. “You don’t know what a needless shock you gave me, he exclaimed. I thought you were marking down the score of the home team in the fifth inning: * e* . Not the Old Kind. The editor of the Pohick Clarion had a pair of scissors In one hand and his fore- head in the other as he leaned over the pine table trying to find something to clip from an exchange. The poetess coughed slightly three or four times before she suc- ceeded in attracting his attention. “I came to ask you about that little poem of min she said. “That little poem?” he repeated, diving into a mass of agricultural reports. “It was only a week or so ago that I saw that Nttle-poem. What can have become of it. Ah, here it is!” he added jubilantly, as he pulled a piece of paper out from under a heap of patent medicine electroiypes. “I hope you won't mind that grease spot on it. The office boy had more saysaye than he needed for his lunch and was going to use this to wrap up the remainder when I stopped him. “But aren’t you going to print it?” she inquired. “Not this summer,” he answered. “If you'll wait a summer or two and bring it around we may be able to. But the first verse shows thi it 18 altogether out of season. You sa: “The rose leaves fall, the song birds call, The twilight sky’s aflame. So what care I, though friends may fly; Sweet summer time's the same.” “That last line ¢oesn't trot in harness with fact. As a rule, summer times are so much alike you can't tell one from an- other. But this summer is going to be altogether out of the usual run. In all my journalistic experience I never saw any- thing like the present prospect. I have been through my entire exchange list znd there's nothing in it but war news. The usual distinguishing marks of summer are so utterly lacking that I have to look ct the thermometer to tell what time of year it is. Where is that story of the hen that hatched out the snake's eggs? It was duc from the south weeks ago. Whére is the farmer whose cow had a two-headed caif? ‘The columns that it once occupied are {ill- ed up with army regulatiors. Where is the three-legged chicken and the poor but honest man whore wife has had quad- ruplets for the fourth time?” The poetess looked embarrassed said she didn’t kncw. “Of course yoy don’t. Their absence is one of the phenomena of this season th: you ean’t explain. Where's the old lad’ who swallowed a needle years ago and pulled it out of her heel the other day? Where’s the cat who hatched out the duck eggs and nearly got drowned trying to be a mother to the brood? Where is the petri- fied man who was discovered by some boys in a cave? Where's the skeleton found in a hollow trge, with a bag of money tied to his spine? Where's the frog who was found alive by some blasters, in the middle of a limestone rock? Where's the child who fell out of a fourth-story window and didn't get hurt, and the boy who got an eel in his stomach by drinking out of a and hydrant, and the baby who was born with a full set of second teeth? Not one of ‘em made his appearance yet, and little or no hope that any of ‘em will be heard from. I'm sorry; it’s a nice piece of poetry, and I'd like to see it in type. But when you ay anything about sweet summer time be- ing always the same, you arouse false hopes. The old standbys may come back again, but not this summer And as the visitor turned to leave he seated himself at the desk, brushed the Pile of exchanges on the floor, and went to work on an article which started: “As exclusively predicted tn the Clarion, the sun rose this morning over a strange scene in the Cartbbean sea.” * * * Am Aversi I like to go a-visitin’ an’ see my friends an’ kin, An’ find out what their doin’ an’ jes’ how their health has been. I like to have the folks come ‘round a- callin’ my way, too, A-shakin’ one another's hands and sayin’ “howdy do.” But when it comes to leavin’, ef {t warn't fur my pride fear o° bein’ place an’ hide. "Cause there's so many people that'll go ahead an’ try make things melancholy come to say “good-by An’ impolite, I'd go some Te when they This carth ain't such a big one. movin’ as they will, Its dwellers kin be sociable an’ quainted still. But from the way some of ‘em partin’, in their pain, You'd think that locomotives was all in vain. I’ rather have the feelin’, when somebody Starts away, That it's jes’ to make arrangements fur another happy day. An’ time fur them as makes the most of it will swiftly fly, So I scarcely see the use of even mention- in’ “good-bye.” * * * : The Contradictional Instinct. There was a look of great disappointment on the face of the boy who was coming out of the front gate. His brother, slightly younger, but with a very aggressive and tenacious disposition, was conspicuously Keep a- well ac- sighs at invented tattered. His garments bore the marks of conflict, but his face showed no signs of remorse. “Come on in the house,” said the older boy. “What for? I'm waiting for that other Spanish boy to come out.” “Well, it’s no use. We've made a mistake ard we've got to apologize.” “To those two Spaniards?” “They're not Spantards. They only look like Spaniards. They're Portuguese.” “Portu-what Portuguese. “No, they're not. I'll take your word for it about their not being Spaniards,” he added, reluctantly. “But they're too little for Portuguese. And, what's more, they never will be Portuguese. They're nothing but Portugoslings now, and when they grow up they'll be Portuganders.” * + Strictly Business. The marager of the bicycle agency was clearly suffering from a dyspeptic mind or a@ pessimistic stomach. It was late in the morning when he arrived at his place of business, and without a word he walked over to the desk at which one of the sales- men was seated. He looked over the sales- man’s shoulder, and then, with an unami- able inflection in his voice, commented: “I thought I paid you a salary to sell bi- cycles.” “That's what I am trying to do.” “Do you call scribbling all over that pad of paper selling bicycles?” “And what kind of arithmetic do you call that column of figures there, mere child's play to kill time?” What column of figures do you mean The one on the corner of the desk. You have written ‘$75' and scratched it out; then ‘74,’ and so on down to #0.’ “{ suppose that strikes you as trifling.” Assured: “Weil, it isn’t. That represents a stren- uous effort to dispose of one of our sev- enty-five dollar wheels to a deaf and dumb man.” od he Had a Reason. From the New York Weekly. Mrs. Sharptongue—“D'ye mean t' say you've been married ten years, an’ never hed a quarrel with y’r husband’ Fair Strarger—“That is true, madam.” ye elways let him have the last madam; I wbuldn't for the world de anythirg to lessen my husband's love for me. He might get careless. “Careless?” “Yes. We are jugglers by profession, and at two performances every day I stand against a board while he throws the knives.” ——_—-e- -____ Schcol teacher—“Now, Willie Higgins, you may tell me what Commodore Dewey did on the first of May, 1898. i Willie—“‘He did the Spaniards, ma’am."— Harper's Bazar.