Evening Star Newspaper, April 23, 1898, Page 17

THE EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, APRIL 23, 1898-24 PAGES. Written for The Evening Star. “The life of a gun is one of the most un- satisfactory things about {t,” remarked an ordnance officer in discussing the war question with a Star reporter, “and though a number of experiments have been made in connection therewith, there ts no abso- lute certainty as to results. A general rule has been arrived at which is thought to be om the safe side of the matter, and that is that the modern steel gun should not be fired more than one hundred times. After that it matters not what the emer- gency may be, it is safer to dismantle the gun and send it back to the shop than to risk firing.it, for the explosion of a gun Is a decidedly and extensively dangerous oc- currence to all In its immediate locality. The firing of a gun causes the steel to ystallize and thereby become brittle as a Soe far as has yet been discovered, there is no remedy “or it. It is not exactly @ total less after a gun has become dead, for the steel can be used for thousands of things in the way of bolts, braces and the like for new work and for repairs. As is generally known, a modern gun is an ex- pensive affair, running from ~ way up. It Is equally expensive to keep it in Operation, the cost for each cartridge sent from it being over one thousand dollars, whigh does not include the putting of the gun on its émplacement or taking it down, ror the thousands of dollars necessarily expended ip paying salaries and subsist- ence of the officers and men who operate Thi crystallization of the metal is one 3 of the science of ordnance. e ‘evitied to some extent by heating it to a white heat and allowing it to cool off slewly, but the treatment is tisfactory or even approx!- mately certain as to results. It has been seid of us as of other na’ that if we kept every gun we own in actual firing op- eration fer even twenty-four hours the powder ell bill would bankrupt us. and ther some truth in it. This crysta lization the metal is not confined same thing occurs in s or axles used on the railroad for t reason that careful put on new axles every fi In Europe there are law t, thovgh it is custom with us. it is umlawful to use an axle cars more than four years, limitation” on freight cars is As with the oft-fired gun, the » journal becomes so brittle by ystallization in consequence of its FF » to snap int dozen life is ended.” 4 <1 4 made up of little things, and the smaller they are the more important part they ay sometimes,” observed a promi- nent siree nt ter to a Star reporter. “How few people fail to pick up a horse shoe if it was in their road. A pin has a similar influence among many men, but 1 don’t think I have ever seen a woman pick up a pin in the street, though they have | much more use for them than men. I pick up pins and horse shoes as often as I see them, and I don’t know that I have ever had any special g20d luck or bad tuck in consequence, and I suppose I shall con- tinue to do so to the end of the chapter, call it superstition or anything else you may. The lucky pick up with me, how- is marbles—the playing alleys of the and I am free to admit that I would find a marble than any small thing that I know of. Good luck always has fol- Towed tinding a marble as far as I am con- cerned, and in taiking about it I find that others have had stmilar experience. My n. though, is that marble finding rarest kind of good luck for women, there observat is th is not as much superstition is about the horse shoe. You * surprised upon talking to your cir- of friends to find how there are sed, to pick up a marble, and of them will be able to give you sub- stantial reasons for their belief. I know a Cok lady who resides in this city—an artist of some distinction—who tells me that sh never failed to sell her pic- had a marble w she found and. has ne n able te did net have any. Simply car- marble in the pocket does not Work the charm. It must found, and the more linding the more fre- quent th xe ek KK rhe expression ‘a lad pipe cinch’ orig- inated in Brooklyn, N. explained a well-known turfman to a Star reporter. “Though it is very frequently used by Sporting people, it is not over twenty-five years old, and I doubt if it is that old. it indicates a sure thing, or at least a thing that is thovght to be dead sure. There are several explanations of its ori- gin, but I am satisfied that Brooklyn was its home. It was coined in this way: Some years ago a fellow entered a plumbing shop and stole a piece of lead pipe. He wanted to take it over to New York, and to keep it from being seen he wrapped the pipe around his body and then put his clothes on over it. A cinch, in turf language, means a girth or saddle band or anything that is used to k addle on a horse or mule tight. ‘Cinching up’ means, there- fore, tightening up, and is of Spanish ori As the fellow with the lead pipe his body jumped to catch the ferry joat he fell Overboard, and, of course, the eight of the lead carried him down. A horseman, in explaining the occurren said the thief hae ‘a lead pipe he had. and it drowned him.” *e * *& * The best paying and most valuable iron mine in North Carolina,” said one of the Geologists of the geological survey to a Star reporter, “was discovered by light- ning. It came about in this way: A gentle- man who owned a large farm picked out one of the prettiest cliffs or small hills on it as the site for a residence. It was very nicely situated, sloping from all sides, and si » spring of water very The water was first tested and Proved to be nearly pure, though it had a trace of iron in it, not enough, however, to interfere to any great extent with its taste. There were four large and finely shaped trees on the hill, the locations of which were such that the house was built among them, a tree being at each corner of the house. The first storm that came up after the house was occupied was a severe one, and the lightning seemed to linger around there in preference to spreading through the valley. The following storm Was equally familiar and at its conclusion the large gum tree, the largest and hand- gomest of the four around the house, was found to be lying on the ground, having been struck by Mghining. In less than @ year the other trees met with the same fate, and when they were gone the iightning de- stroyed the barns, corn h tobacco houses and other outbuil So far, sewerer, the residenge was not struck, but rh,” and owner moved out and deserted it. In ore month afterwards the corner of the house was knocked off during a storm. The fatalities connected with the ho: Pe fouplea with the prominence of its owner, vas made the subject of an article in the paper. This found its way into Pitts- Durg and other papers. A prospector who < now one of the owners of the iron mine appened to see it and it was not long be- fore he was on the ground. He was satisfied mm the first that there were reasons why the lightning played such havoc with that particular property, and that a bed b4 iron thereabouts was the attraction. * ‘Without making public his reasons he be- far negotiations for the purchase of the and surrounding land, and he was able = the same for about his own price. . less than six weeks he located the iron ~ Wy and examined to some extent its quantity, which he found to be enormous. Then he capitalized the investment in Pittsburg and elsewhere, and in less than a year he had an iron mine in full operation. It payed from the first day and has been steadily paying for over twelve years. The hill on which the residence was located turned out to be, after ten feet of the dirt was re- moved therefrom, a mass of iron. The whole cost of the outfit, including the cost of the land, was nct over $45,900, and over $150,000 worth of iron has been sent from there every year since, with ro telling how long the supply will continue. This fs not the only instance in iron mining where lightning identified the mine. The surpris- ing thing to me fs that the residence stood as long as it did, with such an attraction for lightning immediately under it.” eK OX “Mules are way up in money value now,” observed a horse trader to a Star reporter, “and are likely to increase steadily in case of war. In anticipation of war the traders have secured options on every mule they can,-in the hope of selling them to the government. As a great deal of the fight- ing 1s likely to be done on the gulf and South Atlantic coast, all the hauling, light artillery work and things of that sort, will be done there. Horses cannot do one-half as mueh work in that climate as mules, and one mule will outlast three horses. Already the artillery companies sent to the forts and stations along the Georgia, South Carclina and Flerida coasts are complaining of the sand files, which are not only annoying and painful to the men, but are dreadful to horses, for they are the most persistent of insects, and, un- like some other insects of the fly kind, worry hors2s throughout the night as well as the day. They give horses no rest er, and the animals actually stamp Ives into uselessness. The sand flies worry horses, it matters not how carefully they are covered; with the mule it is en- tirely different. His skin is thick and _re- sists the annoyance of the sand fly. The mule never gives any sign that the files worry him, and it is not supposed that they do. Besides that, unless acclimated a horse cannot live long along the coast. There is no pasture. for him, and while horses get along for awhile on stable feed, they invariably run down unless they can ally get grass. The mule can live on what a horse will waste, and one thing seems to please him as well as another. About a month ago a contractor picked up 1,000 mules in South Carolina and Georgia, whick he sold to the Spanish government for $85,000. They were shipped to Cuba. There, as well as here, the mule outworks a horse. An average young mule in the section named is quoted today at about $100. Two months ago they would not bring $60.” ae THE OMEN OF THE OWL. Uncle William Explaifis the Signi cance of the Bird's Scream. From the Atlanta Constitution. “You heah dat?” said Uncle William to the little pickaninay who was crouching at his fet. “You heah at, don't you?” It was late at night, and an owl had screamed on the roof. “Dar’s a murder gwine on somewhar's,” he continued, “en scmebody wuz killed when dat ow] hollered. I never knowed it ter fail. De owl is in de killin’ business hisse’f, en he knows des whut gwine on in de da’k night.” The pickaninny crawled under the bed- c‘othes and covered his head. The owl screamed again and flew away. rouble, trouble!” muttered the old man, “en sich a col’ zainy night fer it! I shoulda’t wonder ef scme er dem low coun- try niggers ain’t tu’n fool ergin en rut dey neck in de noose.” ‘There was a knock on the door, a shuf- fing of feet outside, and he heard his rame called in trembling tones: “Opea de do’, Uncle William, fer God sake!” He knew the voice, but he was suspl- cious, and he called through the window cbink: “Whut has you been a-doin' of now? Whut foich you heah so late?” “Open de do’! Open de do'—quick!* Uncle William loosened the chain a littlo way, when the man outside threw his weight against the door and forced an en- trance. He crouched, panting, In a dark corner of the cabin. “Whut has you done now?" repeated Un- cle William. “I ain't gwine harbor you ‘less you tell me—whut has you done? Don’t you see you scart de boy ter death?” The little pickanirny was sitting up in bed, si ‘aming lustily. said the man, “on but wait twell I ketch my ‘© out en fotch ‘em in!” Uncle William peered out into the dark- ness, and saw what appeared to be a well- filled crocus sack lying on the ground. “You's killed somebody," he said, “en cut him up, en put him in dat sack, eu diagged him ter my do’—you devil, you!” “No, I ain't,” said the man, and he reached out, looked furtively around, lis- tering, and then dragged the sack inside. And then— He drew forth: One turkey, two ducks five fat hens! “Dey gimme a elcse race fer half er mile,” said the man, “but I dodged ‘em en made fer yo" place.” “Well, Id said Uncle William, feeling the fowls, “I thought f'um de way you come dat you'd been a-killin’ some- body! En heah it is—nuttin’ but chickens! But dey is des az fat ez butter! Stir dat fire, en put on de pot. But—Lawd, Lawd! I thought t'um de way dat owl hollered dat somebody had been a-doin’ er somethin’ vrong, en hit tu’ns out ter be nuttin’ but chickens! Well, wel Here he held up a lissenin’ ter you “You crter quit yo’ meanness en jine de church! You pick de turkey, en I'll pick de ducks!” But, Jim!” ‘arning finger, . ee lege Days of a Great Novelist. When Charles Reade was at Oxford he Was not always, from a proctor’s point of view, a pattern for others to be guided by. One night he and a companion, being with- cut cap and gown, were chased by the “bulldogs.” Being fleet of foot, they soon reached their respective colleges. His chum was able to square the porter at Queen's, and passed in, but there was no such luck for Reade when he arrived at Magdalen. Being a young man of resources, he was not to be easily caught, and, looking about him in the moonlight, he spied a lad- cer. Pianting this under his chamber win- dow, he was soon in his own reoms. But the tell-tale ladder remained behind, so he managed to drag it up after him. He al- ways carried a capital sportsman’s knife— which would saw as well as cut—and with it he began to convert the ladder into fuel. When his friend from Queen's called in the morning to see how it had fared with Reade, he was told, “I shall be all right directly, old man, for Ive been up all night burning the ladder, and I have just put the last bit of the blessed thing on the fire!” —— (Copyright, 1898, Life Publishing Company.) “Well, do you want to “No, sir; but I have to.’ see me?” ” SHIPS! RANGE OF ACTION “The pictures In someof the burnt-orange newspapers of battle ships in action ate about as funny’ as the Japanese idea of Prospective,” said a naval officer to a Star man. “These pictures represent the epposing sbips blazing away at each other with thirteen-inch rifles at a range of about a hundred feet, and the artists cer- tainly work up the thing to make it look terrific enough, in all coriscience. It’s a wonder to me they don’t represent the crews of the opposing ships in the act of using grappling irons,as they did inengare- ments at close quarters in the days of the old 70-gun frigates. As a matter of fact if either battle ship in an engagement be- tween vessels of today got within such a range of another, or anything like it, it would simply be a matter of the first shot. One big shell delivered at such a range would leave only the debris of the struck ship floating on the surface of the water. Modern ships of war are not devised to get within any such range of each other in ac- tion. The nearest that any of the opposing ships In the great naval battle on the Yalu got to each other was a trifle under two miles, and what one battle ship can’ do to another at that range is something beyond calculation. The naval engagement, of this era is very largely a matter of maneuver- ing—of presenting the smallest possible tar- get to the guns of the enemy’s ships, and of forcing the enemy to present their biggest hull to the range-finders. When the com- mander of a ship in the coming engage- ments can contrive to get in his w6rk on the enemy's vessels while only pointing with his nose in ‘their direction—leaving them practically only a razor’s edge target —he is liable to eat them up. But while there is still a drill in the United States navy called ‘repelling boarders,’ the drill is only retained in the mapua] for the sake of exercising the men, and the only boarding that will be done in the coming fights will be done by prize crews, taking possession of beaten ships, after the latter have struck their colors. ————— THE LAW IN THE CASE. It Was So Simple That There Was No Appeal. The man in the southwest had stolen the horse beyond the peradventure of a doubt, for he had been taken with the horse under him and the owner's name was on the blanket. Under the circumstances he should have been thankful that he had been granted even so much as a trial by a judge on a soap box, because many such offenders, with far less evidence of guilt, had been swung up to the nearest tele- graph pole on sight. But this one had had a trial and the verdict had been duly an- nounced. “Gents,” remarked the judge, who was attired in a red flannel shirt and sand- colored pantaloons, “take the prisoner.” The eager crowd made a rush for him, when a lawyer from the effete east, who was present by the merest accident, shout- ed to the judge: “Stop this business. trary to the law.” The judge, being a good-natured fellow and a gentleman by instinct, stopped it as requested. Vhat’s that the gent says?” he asked. “This proceedure is contrary to the law,” replied the lawyer. “What law?” said the judge, in surprise. “The accepted law of the land.” “I reckon not,” smiled the judge. “But I tell you it is,” persisted the law- yer. _ Aw, go jangle yourself,” exclaimed the Judge. “Don’t I know law? Law is a rule of action prescribing what {s right and prohibiting what is wrong. Now, mister,” and he continued in a less friendly tone, “if you air ready to tell these here gents that it is wrong to hang a man fer hoss stealin’ you have got the permission of the court to do it, but the court ain’t goin’ to be responsible fer what happens toa man with them senterments.” The crowd assented to this proposition with a shout of admiration for the judge, and the legal luminary from the east with- drew with more or less precipitance. Seeing GERMA) You-are acting con- DUELING. It Takes the Place of Foot Ball, Row- ing and Other Sports, From the Obautanquan. One of the most prominent features of the picturesque side of German student life is dueling. It is to the German youth wkat sport is to the American college boy. There are, however, two distinct kinds of duels. A real duel, properly so called, in which dangerous weapons, like sabers or pistols, are used occurs very rarely among the students. The students’ duel is chiefly a test of skill and prow and very seldom has a directly fatal re- The: sult. duels are fought for various sometimes, too, for no reasori Any slight insult or offen: nd a German student is very “touchy” id frequently most willingly offended— y be made the occasion for a challenge. The make-up of a duelist is remarkable. As to grotesque appearance the foot ball player cannot compare with the German student. The right leg and the chest are amply protected by cushion-like garments; the right arm is guarded by a padded glove reaching to the shoulder, the neck is safe- ly covered with heavy wrappings, and the eyes are shielded with tin goggles. The rules and regulations regarding the com- bat are intricate and are strictly enforced. The duel is over when the allotted time, fifteen minutes’ actual fencing, has passed, ‘or when one of the compatants has ri ceived a wound which the attending sur- geon considers somewhat serious (abfuhr). To receive an abfuhr is no dishonor, while any show of fear is considered disgraceful. Dueling is, of course, forbidden by the law. The authorities, however, connive at its breach, and interfere only when fight- ing is done to excess or threatens to de- generate into mere slashing. The offend- ers when caught in the act are committed to the Carcer, the students’ special prison. —_——_—_—_-e-____ i A Chinese View. From the St. Louis Globe Democrat. A California newspaper has come into the possession of a high-caste Chinaman's Giary of travel in America and printed a translation. The critic says the Americans take enormous quantities of whisky; “they Eurry with everything, instead of resting like civilized persons; they never enjoy themselves by sittirg quietly on their an- cestors’ graves.’ They kick balls violent- ly without pay, and even sit down to the same table with women; while the Ameri- can dancirg consists of spinning around “to most discordant music.” Furthermore, in good weather Americans wander in the fields, waving long sticks senselessly in the air. It will be noticed that there are two sides to the question of national odd- ity. —_—__+. A Lucky Fin: Frem the Kansas City Journal. In, the year 188% a landslide in the Zen- skar range of the Himalayas laid bare a deposit of brilliant blue stones, which the native sokliery found very useful as gun- flints, in addition to their ornamental qual- ities, The pretty stones were very plenti- ful, one man having es much as a hundred pounds of them in his possession. One day @ trader came along who on seeing the stones paid all sorts of ridiculous prices for them. When they were taken to one of the commercial centers it s0on became known thai the stones were the finest kind of sapphires. Thereupon the Mahara- jah of Cashmere sent a regiment of Se- poys to seize the mines, and it 1s from this deposit that nearly all the fine ‘sap- phires of the past fifteen years have come. The Queen’s Railway Car. The railway carriage which the queen always uses on her continental journeys, and which is her own property, has just Leen thoroughly renovated and redecorat- ed ft Brussels, wkere it is kept at the Gare du Nord. It is an immense double saloon, one-half being furnished as a sit- ting room, while the other half is divided into compattments, one of which is a com- fortable bed reom (with two beds), and another is a dressing room, with a lapge metal bath. e+ —___. He Ought to Know. ‘From the Chicago Pret. “I understand she's gone on the lecture platform.” Tene pack of a lecturer?” “Her busband 1s sald to think 90.” EFFECT QF MARTIAL MUSIC “I'm pretty gert of @ conspicugps to make more or less tacle of myself from new on,” said,a it, middle-aged Wash- ington man, who was watching the caval- rymen depart..the other morning. “I’m irresponsible dyring the progress of goings on like these,,.and.J don't exactly know what I'm doing, althouga I'm a pretty in- offensive, quiet sortzof citizen under ordi- rary circumstinees!i But even in times of peace I alwhiys find it the wiscr plan to slip off on a side street when there is a band of music marching on the street that I'm walking of. If 7 don’t get away from the sound of the mijsic I'm bound to make an exhibition pf myself. To save my life I can’t help but keep, step with the music, and my shoulders just naturally get back, and my head gets thrown ‘way up, and I swagger along thus like a royal dragoon. 80 that to look at me you'd think that I was just about due to chew up my weight in scorpions. I'm not a whit better when there's @ band. of music within my hearing than the cotored brothers that dance in ficnt of the drum major, and I always get guyed. The boys on the street catch sight of me strutting along the pavement, as if I was boss of the whole thing, and they be- gin to point me out and ‘holler. I always feel cheap and “ridiculous when they do this, and try to break step with the music, but I never succéed in doing this until I have sneaked up a side street, where I can no longer hear the martial strains. “Then, when I “hear the national airs played by a theater orchestra, or by a darkey with a mouth organ, for the matter of that, I get all choked up, and I've just naturally got to let a few yells out of me, or I'd have an attack of apoplexy sure. When they spring ‘The Star Spangled Banner’ upon me, I'm about as primitive, elementary, savage sort of biped as the black people that live on the banks of the Aruwimi river in equatorial Africa, and I can feel myself gurgling inside just like a mill race. . Everybody sizes me up as a rattlebrain when I get this way, but I can’t help that. I can’t change the way I was built. If a band were to come along the street right now and play ‘The Girl I Left Behind Me’ it’s dollars to doughnuts that T'd get a chip on. my-shoulder right off ard look and talk like a fellow that wanted to lick his best friend, There's a heap of American in me, anyhow, and though I can’t help making too eonspicuous a man- ifestation of it once in a while, you can bet that there’s no likelihood of my losing any of it. while there are such trained, scrappy, superb-looking boys as that to hold up the honor of the flag,” and the man of irre- Fressible enthusiasm pointed to the perfect sets of fours of the fighting 6th passing down the street. ——. : WILLING EXILES, The English and Americans Are Im- portant Factors in Paris Life. From the London Mail. “On and after this date,” wrote Napoleon I to Fouche, “see that the English are expelled from Paris. Suck an edict would seem a very large order at the present day, but it was by no mieans a small one in Napoleon’s time. What would the Paris of today be without its English colony? From Sir Edmund Monson, our ambassador, to the pale boy who files the English journals at Neal's Library, in the Rue Castiglione, the En- glish are very important factors in Parisian life. There has begn an, English colony in the French capitalfor many centuri yet one might search in‘ vat for a similar French colony in Londva. ‘fhe Leicester and Soho- square distri. although owning to a large Frenck spopulation, possess hardly a trace of the sfauvet or mien that distin- Suishes the quartcrthe English frequent in Paris—and it is not a fiftH the size. To speak breaaly,! Paris has within its walled border#a Mittle London of many thousand persons—hot squalid and im- Poverished. but boasting splendid man- sions, fine shdéps, ‘Hotels, churches, hos- pitals and libritties,’and all these to such an extent that'ft {s difficult to believe one is not in the British’ capital itself. The inhabitdhts ‘f° this colony mi roughly be catalogued as follows: Retired people and gentlefolk who have seen better days; those who de<ire to’ have their chil- dren educated fa the Ipfguage, people, authors, aftists, studen: ists and professional men; those who have the’ best of private reasons for living out of England, and cranks, which term in- cludes certain Individuals who for some cause oc other have developed a feeling of hatred for the land of their birth. Nearly all are exiles af their own accord. On Sunday the elite of the English colon turns out to the Church of the Embass in the Rue d'Aguesseau. Here for a num- ber of years Dr. s, who was former- ly a Leytonstore incumbent, has now preached, and here a coliection bag goes regularly round, and is as regularly re- turned in @ condition of comparative empti ness. For your Englishman of the Eng! colony is either in a. condition to help largely support the church and does, or else gives nothing at all. One thing must be said about the English and Americans who go to Paris. They support the city. Without their patronage thore is scarcely a‘ big shop-on the boule- vards that would not clgsé its doors within a few months: ~ A viviat insinuation. Ephraim,-the younger, was slowly sneak- ing through the golden glories of the moon- lt night, trying to get home with a sack, securely tied, hanging well at his back for purposes of concealment, when he ran piump up against Ephraim, the elder, who was his uncle. And Ephraim, the elder, was a deacon. “Heah, you nigga!’ exclaimed the old man, almost as much startled as the boy was. “Hit’s me, Unc’ Ephum,” said the boy, backing away. “*Co'se hit am; do‘an you spec’ I knows my own blood kin?’ ‘What you got in dat ar sack?" “Nuffin’ ” replied the boy evasively. “Wha's dat?” “Nuffin’, I says, Unc’ Ephum.” “Heah, heah,” said the old man, making a grab for the boy; ‘“‘wha’s dat you’s tellin’ tre? Ef nuffin’s what you got in dar, chile, der all I gotter say is dar ain’ nuffin’ in Mis’ Joneses chicken coop sence you lef’ dar,’ and the elder Ephraim proceeded to unravel the mystery of the midnight sack- load. es One Shot to a War, This is a confident town and a confident nation. During the progress of a musical sketch, with a man and woman as actors, at one of the variety theaters the other evening, the men suddenly wheeled off the stage and disappeared into the wings. In second he reappeared, carrying an old musket at a shoulder arms. He marched across the stage tothe martial music of the orchestra, gnd halted just before going into the wil at, the other side. His sketch-mate ed Bim: “Where are you going?” “To fight Spain,” was the reply, and the actor continue#’ his march into the wings, to thé vociferous applause of the audience. He had ‘no sooner disappeared than a shot was heard from the direction *aigo soon?” asked the girl “Yep; it's all over,” answered the man, and the audience howled. “But I fear wop’t be so dead easy as all that,” commented a few. St gee Recalled, Old Days. “The presence ofzthe Italian warship Amerigo Vesptcci reminds me of the old days wren great cHpper ships used to tic up at the Georgetown wharves,” said an old resident. “I dare say that the young folks of Washington would look with sur- prise at a great, full-rigged merchant ves- sel floating on the peaceful waters of the Potomac alongside Georgetown, but the sight used to be common enough a few few years to me. ere to be Sonate of great fruit ships and sugar ships from the West Indies entering and depart- ing from the Georgetown waters all the year around. The biggest ship that ever came up this way yas the Catherine Jackson, one of the finest full- rigged ships of her day. She Potomac at Georgetown in 3841, 300 feet of her, not counting her bowsprit, and there |.are not many as magnificent on the seas nowadays as she was,” WHY HE WANTED TO FIGHT “I was down in the mountain region of West Virginia last week,” said the returned special agent of the internal revenue de- partnent, “and I happened upon one war incident down there where you would sup- pese pecple had enough fighting of their own to do without going to foreign coun- tries for it. One morning as I was riding through a loresome valley I cam2 upon a house at the turn of the hill, and as I pass- ed a man came out and joined me, taking the side of the road, as is common often- times when there are a rider and walker go- ing in th> same direction. “How far is it to ‘Sam Morgan's? was the first question I asked. “Old Sam's or young Sam's” ‘I didn’t know there were two.’ “Thar wuzn't till two weeks ago, when young Sam got hitched and rented the Mx Mns farm. It’s two miles to tle old man’s.’ “ ‘Do I keep right on this way?’ ‘Yes, foller the crick, I reckon,’ h2 said. Then he went on, ‘Tharsis likely to be a War, hain’t thar?” “That is what most people think where I come from.’ ‘**Whar's that, mister? ‘Washington.’ “Well, I reckon that’s headquarters, and ef u think it thar, then thar'll be some fightin’,’ and his face brightened. ‘\ ‘Are you in favor of war?’ “I never wuz till here lately, and now I'm jist eachin’ fer it.’ “I suppose the continued cruelty of the Spaniards toward those helpless reconcen- trados added to the loss of the Maine is too much for you to bear?” “ ‘Well, no,’ he hesitated; I reckon." “ ‘Not that? I said in surprise. “ “No, stranger,’ and he glanced over his shoulder at the bous3. ‘You sce, I've been married to John Pressler’s widder fer about six weeks, and I've about got to the p'int when I've jist got to fight somebody er sumthin. I can’t fight the old woman, and I Gon’t want ter fight any uv my neigh- bors, but I’ve got io fight, an’ I'd ruther fight them dern Spainyerds thin anybody else I knows uv. Y’ain’t never been raar- ried, have yer, mister? “I shook my head. “Well,” he said, with a breath, ‘you don't know nothin’ w ever about the feelin’s a man has got sor No wonder she was a widder. She’ be ancther one ef this war gits declared off, er I'm no jedge.’ —____ The Wave Theory. It does not matter, so far as the true science of this chronicle is concerned, whether the statesman mentioned herein is a senator or a mere representative, or whether he hails from the near east or the far west. Suffice it that he is in learning much superior to his fellow statesmen, and he is much more of a scientist than he is a warrior. He is also more of a bibulist than he is a temperancist, and one particu- lar friend of his is constantly on his trail with persuasions of all kinds against this growing habit. Not long ago the two men were at the statesman’s apartments and “*tain’t that, the host was expatiating on the wave theory of iight. 4 you know, my dear major,” he ‘Colcr, s ng, “is a sensation produced by the action of very minute waves upon the nervous substance of the retina. When these waves have a length of about 1-39,- 000th of an inch they produce the sensa- tion which we call red. When they have—' The statesman stopped in the midst of his remarks to see what his friend was doing or going to do with a tape measure he had taken from his pocket. Go on, don’t mind me,” expostulated the friénd. “I’m just making a little side calculation to determine whether the waves aren't about that size betw: nd of your nose and the north ner of the retina of my eye. That Go on with your theory; I'm calculating on practice.” Se A Numb Newspaper. The managing editor of one yellow jour- na! was jealous of the competition of his neighbor across the street, and he ugly because he thought the opposition was out-yellowing him. At 2 o'clock in the afternoon he came into the city editor's reom and the city editor accosted him as is usual with a city editor when the boss end he meet for the first time on that day. “Well,” he asked, “what do you think of the paper today?” : “It is simply numb,” replied the manag- ing editor, as glum as a ghost. “I don’t qaile catch on,” said the city trying 5 aid it wa aging editor. k what numb me t in this connection. 1, you ought to. It means without ation. Now, suppose you get out and hustle for something 1 » if you don't Want to lose your job. ted the man- Don’t you Paying and Giving. From the Youth's Companion. There is an interesting story associated with the great Cardinal Borromeo, who was noted for his charities to the poor. Cardinal Giulio had shown to him the vast palace which he had just finished. When he was departing, Borromeo, who had been silent while inspecting the build- ing, said: “Your eminence, I have been re- flecting that the huge sums spent on this palace might have been given to the poor.” “Your eminence,” replied Giulio, “they have been all given to the poor; but our notions of charity differ. 1 pay the poor for their labor, and your eminence for their idleness.” The reply, uttered more than four hun- dred years ago, is now the ruie of inteili- gent philanthrouists, who would help the poor to help themselves, and restrain them from becoming paupers. + o+—_____ A Harmless Metal. Frem the Fhiladelphia Record, Attention 1s called to the fact that the salts of aluminum are quite harmless, while the salts of zinc, copper and lead are poisonous. When in cooking certain fruits in aluminum utensils the metal shows signs of discoloration there is not the slightest danger from such action, for the acid in the fruit is merely attacking the impurities of the metal. It has been proved that injurious consequence can re- sult from such possible discoloration, and such pure aluminum is now to be obtain- ed that there is little probability of alum- inum ware becoming discolored. ——-+ e+ _____ A Serious Feature. From the Cleveland Leader. Jambleson—“By George, I’m glad I didn’t go into the Naval Reserves when they were after me last winter. If I must fight I'm going into the militia.” Parker—‘‘Why do you prefer the militia?” Jambleron— ‘Why? Great Scott! I shouldn't think you'd have to ask such @ question as that. What chance will the naval feilows have if it becomes neces- sary to run?” PHILANDER “2. yied JOHNSON? Written for The Evening Star. Recruits. The old disputes is passed away; But there is heroes still As bold as them ter seek the fray An’ feel the battle thrill. - Reprove their hungerin’ fur fame— But own, when all ts done, That boys of '98's the same As boys of ‘61. It ain't no use ter stan’ an’ chide, When war is in the air. You waste yer efforts to deride Their talk of bein’ there. Remember, when ye sort o’ blame The way their feelin’s run, That boys of "98's the same As boys of 61. It makes ye sad ter see them chaps So eager fur a foe. *"Twould make ye sorryer, perhaps, If they was ‘fraid ter go. Ye tell ‘em war's a dang’rous game; That murder’s in each gun— But boys of '98's the same As boys of ’61. * x * Her Explanation. There are incidents of real life which ecrstantly prove that truth is often more musing as well as more strange than fiction. A sweet, gentle-voiced girl—one from whose dtsposition sarcasm is as far as frost from an active voleano—won the affections of a young man. It was an un- intentional conquest on her part, but none the less complete. He propounded the old question and she demurred. He bided his time and again proffered his suit. She again delayed an answer. But the third time she recefved his question first with silence and then with as: “It seems too good to be true. shall the wedding take place? “II don’t know.” “There is no use in putting it off. she answered; “I think not. Y a week from today?” “Very well” “I knew that you would realize that you can be happier with me than without me,” he suggested a little triumphantly. e, since Uncie Bob went aw . mamma and aunty and I have been quite alone. We ail talked it over and agreed that It would be ever so much safer to have a man in the house at nights.” * When * * Cheering Him. He was unquestionably an orator. But he was not content with that gift. He desired to deliver speeches which would read well in print. As a result, his 1 riods were polished till they lost fe They would have made more of an im- pression if he had left a few jagged edges on them. His speeches were as famed for their soporifie qualities as they were for their immaculate syntax, but his wife was a confident admirer of his powers as a speaker. Without taking the trouble to inform herself very thoroughly on the topies he discussed, she accepted his ob- servations with Implicit faith and un- bounded applause She had gone to hear him address the legislature. After it w over he remarked ‘That speech ed it would be. “It was a very nice speech, indeed,” she answs d, encouragingly. “I enjoyed it n't the success we hop- vary much. I have passed a highly instruc- tive afternoon. And, besides, I needed rest.” “There wasn’t much enthusiasm.” “I was very enthusiastic.” “I was referring to my fellow-members.” “You couldn't tell whether they liked it or not.” “At all events, they were not carried off their feet.” “Oh, you mustn’t be the least bit wor- Tied about that. They couldn't be. They took special precautions. I noticed that before you got half through nearly all of them had their feet pn their desks.” * * * A Phenomenon Ex, ined. As the railway car emerged from the tunnel the passengers were astonished by a wild whoop and when they turned their heads to discover its cause they were fur- ther startled by a strange fleeting jumble of white vestments, suspenders, trousers- legs and coat sleeves, which disappeared when the door leading to the platform slammed. “It's an escaped lunatic!” shouted one of the passengers who started after the apparition. “He's going to cemmit suicide!” exclaim- ed another. Their’ way through ‘the aisle was block- ed by a young man whose clothes, although new, did not fit him well. “Hold on, . people,” the young man ex- claimet.” “You can’t do any goed, and you may make things worse. Let hin alone—he'll be all right in a few minutes.” ‘But how do bi. you know he hasn't jumped off the train?” inquired one of the others. “If he had started out for that, he'd have jumped long ago, and you couldn't do any good now. Take my word for it, all right. All he wants is a littie time. I'll tell you how it was,” he went on, dropping his voice to a confidential key. “Maybe you'll think it was a low- down sort of a trick, but I was compelled to do something. I was after revenge. The man who went out in the middle of all those gents’ furnishings was my ,,Do you see that girl sitti weet in the forward part of the car? ly ogee le fi %. I said I was going on the same train and invited him to come along for company’s sake. He said he would ¢o, only he had his working clothes and wouldn't have time to change them. I told him to put his Sunday clothes in a bundle and come along; I'd fix it all right. So he sneaked into the car and we took a seat away off from where she was, 56 that she wouldn't see him in his every-day clothes. When we come to that tunnel, I said to him, ‘Now, Wilfred—his name used to be Bill til that young lady moved inte the neighborhood—now, ‘this is your chance. This tunnel is two miles long. You go ahead as quietly as pessible and change your clothes and then we'll go forward and visit.’ He started rght in. There ain't any use of telling the rest of it. You saw what happened. Au’ all I've got to say is that if after seeing a man make such a fool exhibition of hisself that girl wants to keep on being engaged to him, I ain’t any judge of human nature, and I don’t care much about keeping com- Wilfred,’ says I, pe with anybody who has such poor taste no-way: * * * A Character, I'm kind 0° sorry fur ‘im. ‘cause I know he means it well; But I wish de didn't have so many useful facts ter tell. He's got so educated that his knowledge has become A second nature to ‘im which he can’t git ened from. He S us fellers sittin’ still; we da’sn’t gh or couch He never gives us any chance at all fur showin’ off. An’ the folks all gits to yawnin’ when he staris ter have his say. The man who kn so much it's allus gittin’ an the way. Ef some one tells a story, he won't even, Stop ter grin. talk about who wrote it an’ what year ‘twas written in. An’ ef Hannah plays the organ, jes’ as scon as she gits through He'll lecture on the music like somebody paid him to. Ef some one has a bunch of flowers, he'll pick ‘em all apart He'll An’ go ter botayizin’. He knows every- thin’ by heart. He can't be satisfied ter go on careless-like a” gay, ‘The man who knows so much it's alius gittin’ in the way. He ain't content ter know "bout what this worll is doin’ now. He goes clean back through centuries an’ tells the neighbors how Folks useter do house-keepin’ yon in Greece an’ Rome. Such things is most impre don’t cheer up yer home Like good ol'-fashioned games where you kin jine the gals an’ boys A-guessin’ an’ a-laughin’ an’ a-makin’ lots 0 noise. He's learnt "bout everythin’, exceptin’ how ter romp an’ play, The man who knows so much, it’s allus gittin’ in the way. Sassen EMPRESS TAITOV. way back but they Some Idiosyncrasies of Aby: Rather Remarkable Queen. From the London Standard. There is no European queen consort fill- ing a more dignified station than the Em- press Taitou of Abyssinia. She has a larze household of her own, her lord stewards, chamberlains, butlers, cooks and guards. She directs all the grand feasts, has im- mense appanages all over the empire, and resources in kind. She leads a sedentary lite because there are no interesting prome- nades, but when she shows herself in pub- lic she is surrounded with ladies, mounted on richly-harnessed mules, with runners, umbrella-bearers and otier attendants. The umbrellas are of many colors, but Taitou’s is rea. The empress is a stickler for etiquette, to which Meneiek attaches no importance. Nobody who has not been formally pre- sented to her must gaze on her even within the precincts of the palace. She has a large kitchen garden, which is one of her many delights, but the moment the red umbrella appears the gardeners must retire. All the servants stand aloof with downcast eyes as she walks by. Not taking much exercise, Taitou is lost in fat. Nevertheless, her presence te dignified. She is wonderfully well informed, converses cleverly, and can be charming. Her letters are well written, and in a bright, natural style. They might put to shame those of many a well-edu- cated European lady. The dress of the empress is only distinguished from that of her ladies by its impeccable cleanliness and neatness.