Evening Star Newspaper, December 4, 1897, Page 18

THE EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 4, 1897-26 PAGES. Written for The Evening Star. “One of the most peculiar things in con- nection with the departmental service,” remarked a disbursing officer to a Star reporter, “is the almost entire absence of legislation regarding the question of when payments are to be made. Tne whole mat- ter cf paying is left entirely with the head of each department, subject to any rules that he chooses to adopt, and this is gov- erned by custom rather than by direct or expressed law. Thus, in some of the branches of the Treasury Department there are weekly pay days, notably in the re- demptioa division, while in others there are semi-monthly pay days. In most of the branches of the other departments there a>e semi-monthly pay days, though to the clerks of the headquarters of the army in the War Department. who are paid by an army paymaster, there is but one pay day in each month. Congress has been appealed to time and time again to regu- late pay days by legislation, but for some unknown reason it has always refused. @n the navy yard there has been at times mi-monthly pay day, though at other but one pay day im each month. Some ago tae clerks in the War Depart- paid every eight day: n the redemption divi ry Department, but the practice was | inved. for the reason that it gave ing officers too much trouble. ery commission started off to » the question of payment of sal- t they met with so much oppos they left the matter severely 1 to have the Jaw changed nts, financial, of each of ld be audited and passed vpon monthly, instead of quarterly, which had until then been the practice. ‘Though there are now, and always have sivocates of frequent pay days, it is sure that weekly pa; are the @epartment clerk: tting their money in four parts, one-fourth each week, sly interferes with as a ». all of one week's money is expended time the next week comes around, nothing to pay off their boarding rent bills, which come due every All through Europe department | » paid but once in three months, they manage to save more y that method than is saved by receive their salary more fre- aries. tien that alone. other t ke eH & tised babies muy be just as good . ised In the natural way,” said aw own dentist to a Star reporter, “but there is no doubt that they are de- fictent the stabil of their teeth. I don’t knew that the bottle foods injure their teeth or prevent the teeth from be- ing as hara as the teeth of more for- The trouble appears to be ‘ing from the rubber nipple. The other material used in harden- ver injures the teeth in other oloring them. It soft decay and fall out at and a half earlier I know it Is useless to bies by bottle, for there = those who pay no attention to such ts. The dentist, however, has Gifeulty in distinguishing — dottle-rai bies by the appearance and cenditien of their ie should be some substi- tute for bber nipple, and it seems with all the improvements of mod- that the rubber nipples of our dmothers’ days are still in use.* * * sctions of an old citizen in ntly, of early theatricals, fur- sting reading,” volunteered another old citizen to a Star reporter, “but omplete, I think, in that they did » ground completely, as far as performances are concerned. The child of today who witnesses a circus per- formance has to go to some outlying and distant field, and is tired out almost before | ern cireus he or she gets there, for it is not practical to take them the entire distance by the Street cars. In the early days, things were managed differently, and the circus was al- Jowed to occupy places in the center of the cily, where it could be reached easily. Thus in the early days of Washington, circus performances were always held on the south side of Pennsylvania avenue, at the r of 9th street. After that the com- mon councils of the city granted the u: of the © Hall Square to circuses ar many ts the performance that has take place there. In the 30's there was a hip- polrome ed immediately north of th city hall, near the site of the present sion where a great Th a va: office, atirely of horses and their ding up With a series of chariot Taces and a fox hunt, which has never been equaled he hen, for several se > companies were given the u: mory Square lot, nirance to . There was for nearly a year, dur- nh what is now the public at the corner of 7th street ia avenue. Dr. Thayer was the tor, the big attraction b ing a troupe orming mules. Circus companies rs afterward were granted the us r the corner of performances. One or ircuses were also located at the then t lot on the south and New York avenue north wes: a lot at the corne street and New York avenue, the of the Northern Liberties of that was a favorite camping ground for 6 circuses. Twenty-five years ago Bali Park, 16th and S streets the standard circus Jot, of the big circuses of that day there. Later on they went over to eet hetween R and S streets. ‘s circus showed one or two sea- the neighborhcod of 16th and L. S northwest. All of these loc. tions go ow that the circus of the past was n rom that of the present, the cir- panies coming close to the center instead of, as now, at the ex- treme outer edges. -I think, on the whole, however, the circus berformances on the City Hall Square, now Judiciary Square. west, and aii showed Ith s was were the hest d most easily reached by the larger num! Until the war the ad- Mission to all circuses was 2 cents, with an extra 25 cents for reserved seats. The were on -ring affairs, and the singing and f the clowns, or ‘Shakespearean were ‘billed,’ were regard- greatest attractions of the per- The three-ring abomination is a ly modern f; vention, and is not over ¥ rs old. * fpeeches * * * “Tobacco smoke 1s an important element these days as a destroyer of germs,” vol- unteered a gentleman of a scientific turn of mind to a Star reporter, “and the house- keepers who were so averse to the smell of tobacco smoke in their houses some years @g0, actually welcome it now. I have never been a very strong believer in the germ theory of disease, but there are many who are, and who think there are germs floating through the air at all times ready to pounce down upen them and consume them in the form of diseases and troubles too many to enumerate. To these tobacco smoke is look- ed upon as an aetual destroyer of germs of all kinds. There is something in it for them. It is held by them that the fumes of tobacco renders inoperative many of the much-feared germs, even if it does not thoroughly destroy them. I am not a con- sumer of the objectionable weed in any form, though I never had any objections to inhaling tobacco smoke, especiaily if it came from a fine clgar. germ advocates go further than a cigar, and re- gard the fumes from a pipe in which the strongest kind of tobacco is smoked as a most desirable thing. I have always be- lieved that tobacco smoke was a disinfect- ant, and recent “investigations have proved it. In the vafious hospitals for the treat- ment of contagious diseases the smoking of pipes is encouraged among the patients by the most skilled physicians. They have ascertained that tobacco smoke purifies the air and removes from the wards of the hos- Pitals the heavy, and to many, sickening smell that emanates from patients suffer- ing from fevers and other preventable, or as they are classed in medical language, zymotic, diseases. Some hold that tobacco smoke relieves children who are suffering from whooping cough, and that it is almost @ sure destroyer of the germs that bring about the condition of disease known as the measles. This must be pleasant informa- tion for the smokers, who in former times were forced to go outside of their houses when they wanted to enjoy their constitu- tional smokes.” et * * * “Tea leaves are not certain at all times as fortune tellers,” remarked a well-known lady to a Star reporter, “though I*have known a verification from them in many cases and even in more instances than from the numerous other signs which pre- vail with women folk. There should be no preparation or arrangement and the leaves should be allowed to arrange themselves in the bottom or sides of the cup after the tea is drank. If they take the form of wavy or long lines vexations and loss are liable to occur, the more numerous and dis- tinct the lines, the greater the vexations and losses. On the other hand, straight lines tell of peace and long life. Should the leaves take the form of human figures or approaching them in appearance it should be regarded as a good omen to those concerned. To the unmarried, they indicate marriage, and if there are any cir- cular forms near the figures, they mean that wealth will come in connection with the marriage. Anything akin to a trefoil or clover Is a specially good sign, and it it is near the top. of the cup it means speedy marriage. An anchor denotes suc- cess in any business venture, while a ser- pent or any form like it is the sign of an enemy. A dog-like form if at the top is a pretty safe sign of having true friends, though if they are further down they should be carefully watched. A tree-like form means to a sick person restoration to health and if cleariy defined speedy and permanent health. Several trees separated widely mean that all wishes will come, and if there are dots about them riches will come. All bird-like forms are indica- tive of good fortune and good friends, while a fish.is pretty certain to mean news from across the wate: The figure of a man means a speedy visitor and if his arm is outstretched a present. A crown is like- wise a good sign, as are flower forms, the latter denoting happiness. The sun, moon and stars have a similar meaning. There, of course, are the mere outlines. The ex- periments afford amusement and are in- teresting, for it is wonderful what peculiar forms tea leaves will occasionally take.” * eis “After a seri of experiments on my- self and others,” ventured an experienced ph; rian to a Star reporter, “I am con- ed that many annoying dreams and, which in many instances, rob sleep of much of it eation and benefit can be prevented, if persons will take the trouble to do so. There are dreams which are pro- duced by an overloaded stomach and indi- gestion. These can be prevented by not overloading the stomach and taking care, especially in the evening, to not eat that which experience has demonstrated is not easily digested. A fairly filled stomach is, however, less conducive to dreams than an solutely empty one. I think I can safely say that if these persons who are troubled much by dreaming, will wear extra long sleeves to their night gowns, they will find a remedy thereby. What is even better than long sleeves is to put a rubber cord in the hem of the sleeves so that they will not slip up on the arm. The rubber cord should not be tight enough to interfere any way with the circulation of the blood in the arms, but still tight enough to keep the ends of the sleeves well down on the wrists. To the bachelors and others who can not have their sieeves properly arranged, the same effect can be secured by wearing a wristlet on the wrist, or better yet to pull a sock over the hands and pin the leg of it to the sleeves of the night gown. In addition to preventing dreams this simple arrangement will be found extremely comfortable during the cold nights of the next couple of months. A little inquiry will convince any one that those whose wrists and forearms are un- covered, are aanoyed most by dreams. The sock used as a kind of an extended glove will effectually stop them, but it must be attached to the sleeve of the night gown, otherwise the sleeve will work up the arm and the desired effect lost. My remedy in brief is, to keep the hand, wrist and fore- arm well covered.” ——— SOMETHING TO LIVE FOR. He Was Waiting to See What More Trouble Life Contains, “Yes,” said a tall, sallow-faced, melan- choly looking man, attired in a thin pair of trousers, a fall overcoat, a pair of dilapi- dated shoes and a last year’s derby hat, ve never had anything but bad luck. I've worked hard all my life and only made a bare living. My health: broke down years ago; most of my friends have died off or 1 west. I’ve got literary and artistic and can’t gratify them. Everything ‘take to do is a failure, and I don't to be of any use in this world.” nds with political influ- ence enough to t some kind of an easy job for you?” inquired a well-dressed and prosperous-looking man. ‘I've tried that,” s aking his head. sition seem “EL the miserable man, Every time I get a po- @ politica; landslide comes along, and I get thrown out of the snap. “Why didn’t you open an intelligence of- fice or start a real estate agency?” asked a man in a fur cap and heavy ulster. “That sort of business doesn’t require much capi- tal @ tried ‘em both, my friends. Got burnt out in the first business and a part- ner ran off with the profits in the other. No use.” try canvassing?” inquired another sympathetic acquaintance. $; often. Had a good suit of clothes like your's ruined in that business by a vicious dog. Thrown down stairs once or twice. No use, man—I'm not in it. Last week my pet parrot died, yesterday morn- ing I lost a quarter, and today I’ve got an earache. That's the way it always goes. If it isn't one trouble its another. There's only one thing that keeps me from commit- ting suicide and ending the whole wretched business.”” “What's that?” “Curiosity to know what blamed mis- fortune is going to happen to me next.” ee Notes for a ristmas Story. Tile: “The Baby’s Stocking,” being a compilation of Tudor Jenks, in the Cri- terionsfor the benefit of amateurs. Chapter I. Hard times. Rent. Mortgage. Cold day. Snow. Wind howls. “What shall we do?” “We mustn't disappoint the children.” “Kind heaven aid us!” Chapter II. Christmas eve. Baby’s stocking hangs above the fireside. Pathetic. The missing Chapter III. Baby’s stocking. Snow, storm and wind outside. Wind wails and soughs. Swoops down chimney. Waves dear old grandpa’s portrait hanging above the mantel. Work it_up. The missing will drops into baby’s stock- ing. Storm ceases. Chapter Iv. Christmas morning. Depressed but brave family enter. ‘‘Wish you merry Christ- mas!” Repressed gobs. Baby goes and rifles stockirg. - . “See what a queer thing Santa Ciaus bringed baby!” Will discovered! Forty building lots heart of Chicago. All troubles vanish. Tears of CANDIES FOR CHRISTMAS | BREAD UPON . THE WATERS|SHE COULDN'T GET CREDIT LA “As the Christmas season approaches the candy business nears its height,” said a manufacturer of confectionery in New York York to a Star reporter recently. ‘The making of candies has in itself become an art, and nowadays almost anything can be imitated with striking neturainess in sugar and creani of tartar. Some of the best 1m- itations are those of orange, lemons, peach- es, pears, apples and grapes, and although such confections are not particularly whole- some, still the coloring matter is not pol- sonous. Fancy candies of that kind are made mostly for Christmas tree ornaments, and can be used half a dozen times. “For the making of these toys, etc., the sugar has to be cooked very slowly, so that it will crystallize. In making caramels end gumlike candies the sugar does not have to be cooked much. When the sugar has cook- ed to a certain consistency it is taken in hand by the cutters, who stamp out the various designs ordered. Hundreds of dies are used by every big candy factory. ‘Che candy toy then goes to the ornamenter, who gives it the correct shape, and it is then turned over to one of his assistants, who puts on the colors. One man is known as the flower maker, which is a very artist- ic part of the business, and, at this time of the year, he is kept busy from early morne ing until late at night. ‘The colors usually seen on candies are red, blue and green. The red is the best candy to eat, as the tint is made from cochineal. Although the blues and greens are not actually poisonous, they are not sold as eatatle goods unless the tints have been put on very lightly. “Among the confections turned out by some of the big factories are goods known as ‘sham candies.’ Fancy designs and ani- mals of all sorts are made of thin paraffine and filled with wax. They resemble the genuine cancies, but are cheaper, and just as good, if not better, for Christmas trees. The best granulated sugar is used by rep- utable manufacturers, althobgh they could make their candies look as nice with a cheap material. They would not taste as well, however. Gelatine is largely useq by confectioners. Its transparency makes it very useful for little boxes and cornucopias containing small candies. It is also used in dressing the figures of candy animals, birds, Cupids, ete. “The big hearts, so handsomely colored, which the little ones like to hold and wish they could eat, come directly from the art- ist's hands. The confection is, of course, shaped by the stamper, and then turned over to the artist, who uses the colors with a_ brush, just like any other painter, and often turns out some very pretty pictures. Cupids and Santa Clauses are his hobby, however.” —— oes A GEORGIA HEN COOP, It Was Sure Proof Against the In- roads of Outsiders. “There isn't a more faithful being on earth,” said a Georgia business man to a Star reporter, “than one of our Georgia darkeys; neither is there one more super- stitious, nor yet again is there one who lcves better the products of the hen coop. And Cattersville isn't any different from any one of a hundred southern towns. When I was down there two weeks ago a customer of mine, who had a fancy for chickens and who had always had more or less trouble in maintaining ownership of them, told me he bad a remedy anc k- ed me to go around with him and see it. I wanted him to tell me what it was, but he insisted on my seeing it first, so I went a’ong with him, and in a few minutes was standing in kis back yard before what was to me the oddest chicken coop I ever saw. It was constructed of large timbers and there were a dozen places in its walls where a hand could be run in and every- thing cleaned out within reach. Then there was no fastening on the door, nor was there any kind of protection to the fowls. I couldn't understand how such an inviting stap could be of any use to the owner, and said ac much. “ «The charm is in the timber, 0,’ said 1. ‘act, just the same,’ said he. ‘You don’t see it on the outside and you don't know it, but the darkeys around here do, and they won't come within a hundred yurds of that coop if they can help it. I don't cure how full of chickens it is. ‘Cause why? It is built of the timbers of a gallows on which a man was hung about three months ago in another county. It cost me some- thing extra to get it, but it has more than paid for itself since I have had it, and I am in the market now to buy all the sec- ond-hand scaffolds in Georgia. If you run across a sheriff any place with one for sale let me know by next mail, won't you vices was a true bill,” concluded the trav- ing man, ‘for I saw a darkey tried on it and he refused a big silver dollar to go down to the coop to get a chicken for breakfast.” said he. —_.—__. THEY WERE GREEN. A Youthful Marketer Meets With a Mysterious Contraction. Not very long ago, when persimmons Were greener than they are on the Ist of December, a small boy might have been seen tagging along at his mother’s skirts as she went about Center Market picking up such edibles as she needed or could afford. He was a boy who had apparently been reared beyond the latitude of the persim- mon and come down to Washington from the north on the republican tide. Be that as it may, he was sureiy not to the man- ner born, or he would have known what a persimmon was and that knowledge would have taught him the difference between the green persimmon and the ripe persimmon, even if it did not teach him to keep his hands off of that which was not his. The basket was sitting off to one side of the stand, no doubt put there because the per- simmons were green, and as soon as the boy’s eyes rested on it he was curious to krow what the peculiar looking fruit was. He should have asked, but he was enter- prising, and waiting his opportunity he slyly slipped a large one when no one was looking and crowded it into his mouth. In a minute he was scared half out of his wits and he made a grab for his mother. “Say, mother,” he managed to mumble with his mouth all a-pucker, “what's those there in the basket?” “Green persimmons, plied. “Wow, can’t. Johnnie,” “You musn’t eat them.” ow, mother,” he blubbered, I've already done e’t one.” os she re- “y Among lis Possibilities. From the Chicago Tribune. “If this piano trust,” muttered the man who lives on the third floor of an apart- ment house, “is going to make it any easier to buy pianos there is no refuge for me but suicide.” Traveler—“Can you direct me to Hollow Meadows?” Hodge (who stutters frightfully)—“Ye- ye-yes. foe t-t-t-t-take the f-f-f-firat tet tet on it, and ko-! th-the righ keep straight on Aare! th’ Bu- gu-gu-gu-gangin’ Ye gs -“gu-get there "on. You'll gu-j quicker th-th-th-than I can t-t-t-tell yout’ Twenty-eight Searg ago a prominent real estate dealer, and. ie of Washington’s / most influentiag’ ms “today, took unto himself a ‘urning from a pro- tracted wedi the young people found themse] Philadelphia, and there was them which adver- tised a recent into the sea of mat- rimony. Of thig were alike igndran! rooms in the city was th the bride and groom The bridal suite of otel in the Quaker \¢ upon a beautiful ted forth in search able coat and silt het. In a patronizing way they were willing to be entertained by anything Philadelphia had to offer. They did not expect much, being Washington- born and bred. Issuing forth from the hotel, the couple observed @ mettleseme pair of black cobs harnessed to # glittering new surrey, the driver of which was experiencing difficulty in holding the horses in check beside the curb. The whole establishment was s0 fine, the blue eyes of the groom and the brown eyes of .he bride were simulta- neously attracted. Imagine the surprise of the owners of the eyes when the quuint- looking driver called out: “You're just thé ones I’m waiting for. Step right in, and YM give you a drive be- pend the best span in the city of brotherly jove.”” The real estate man, approving the horses, and having in mind a visit to Girard College and Fairmount Park, ac- cepted the suggestion, and soon had his bride and himself settled on the back seat, sae off went the horses at a startling gait. The streets were covered in short order, and the genial driver pointed out the sights with great friendliness. The intelli- gence of the man surprised the occupants of the rear seat, and they were forced to the conclusion that Philadelphia had a most marvelous livery system. Arriving at the park, their surprise was changed to indignation when the myste- rious driver consulted his watch, and not- ing the hour, remarked: “Sorry I can’t drive you back to the ho- tel. Really, haven't the time. Must meet a man, you know; but a guide will show you about the park, and when you are ready to return, take the green line of cars. They: deliver you close to the hotel. Well, good day to you.” So saying, he proceeded to gather up his lines, prepar- atory to departing, when the irate groom called out: “Hold on there.: Nice way you have of doing business in Philadelphia. You brought us out here, and you must take us back. You don’t play any tricks on me, sir.” “Can't oblige you today, my young friend,” returned the driver. “Do pay the man and let him go. We don’t want a scene,” interrupted the bride, and the young husband, being gallant, swallowed his anger, and, turning to the owner of the horses, demanded to know what he owed him. “Oh, that's all right. You don’t owe me anything,” answered the mysterious Jehu. “When you return from your honeymoon give the first good-looking couple you see as fine a drive as Iegave you, and our ac- covnts will be squared. Good luck, you know, to christen a carriage with a bride.”’ With that remark he was off, laughing and waving his hat in farewell. There was nothing to do but make the best of a laughable situation, and the couple returned to the hotel by the green car line, enjoying the joke on themselves, and attributing it to the finery of their garments. And now for the sequel to the story. About two Weeks ago a good-looking iran, accompanied by a charming young woman, entered the office of this same real estate broker. The gentleman was in search of a hoi having come to Wash- ington from Ohfo to accept a position un- der the government. It was apparent to the real estate man that the couple nad not heen long married, so he offered to pilot them about the city himself. After one entire day spent in going through empty “hon: the dealer and his interesting customers became pretty well acquainted. Speaking of wedding trips, the former related .how his had included Philadelphia, and the incident told above was narrated. No sooner was he launched into the narfative when the younger man exclaimed: ; “Why, I have heard my father tell that story many a time. He used to live in Phil- adelphia. Can it be pcssible you are half of the bridal-couple he mvited into christ- ening his new surrey? Father used to say that the bride was so pretty and the groom so dashing, he couldn’t resist the tempta- tion to give them a ride after his famous pair of cobs. You see, he was waiting for a friend, and, observing you come out of the hotel in apparent uncertainty which way to go, or where, he concluded to play a joke on you. My father was a great joker, always.” A good laugh followed, and the result was the new bridal couple dined as well as drove with the old bridal pair the next day. It is likely the two families will be seen together frequently this winter, for ‘The Star reporter, who knew the story and its sequel, observed them occupying the same box at one of the theaters this week, finding as much enjoyment in each other as in the performance. —>—_—_—. RENTING BY THE MONTH. A New Method of Economy in Keep- ing a Driving Horse. “What's e korse club?” asked the man in the silk hat. “Didn't you ever hear of one?” respond- ed the man doing the bulk of the talking. “I think not. Go ahead and tell us. “Well, you know it costs more than a good many people want to spend to keep a| latter the insect approached in repeated at- horse and vehicle, whatever kind it may be. Indeed, in the cities it is quite beyond the means of most. In the smaller towns of the country it is more nearly possible, for a herse may be .boarded at any country livery stable for $10 a month, and some- times even less, if done by the year. But even under such favorable circumstances there are many people who don’t like to own a horse and board him at a stable, where he may be badly treated, or he may get sick and die, or keep him at home, where he is liable to be worse treated than in a livery stable. That being the case, 1 know of a livery men in one of the towns I visit, a place of 6,000, who is enterprising enough to make the effort to meet the wants of that kind of people. This man went around among his acquaintances un- til he found twenty-five who were willing to pay him $10 a month each for the use of a horse, just what they would pay for the board of one if they owned it. But they gid not want livery horses; so he agreed to gif® each patron the same horse always and not let it go to any other person. Then he began buying up second-hand buggies and phaetons and good serviceable horses, until ke had $200 invested in the private livery plant, as be called it. He had to hire only one extra:hand, and he had room in plenty; so the additional expense, beyond feed, was not mitch. 'He had been running his plant a yearn’when I saw him, and he told me that the enjire expense was $150 a month, and that he took in $250 cash every month, legving.-him a net profit on his $2,500 investment,of $1,200 a year; and every member @f the horse club was s0 pleased that he, wag booked for another year, and there were a dozen applicants for memberships, ts “Of course heqlost;gomething by putting some of his gogsd customers into the club, but he got them,for the year that way and he was willing $0 Jose one two-dollar drive te pick up forty fifjy-cent ones. Now,” coneluded ‘the ner, “that you have learned what a.bhorse,club is, perhaps you might suggest >t to-your friends in the country and lef.them try. it-once. —_ She Hnd Lest It. From the Pearson's Weekly. An old woman, whose husband was ill in bed, sent for the doctor, who.came and saw the old lady. f “I will send him some medicine,” he said, on leaving, “‘which must. be taker in a re- cumbent posture.” After he had gone’ the old woman sat ‘A recumbent posture—a, pos- ture!” she “I haven't got one.” At last she thi “1 go and see if old Mrs. Smith hes got one to lend a ‘ - Accordingly she Went and said to her “Have you A recumbent. posture to lena “ara: Smith, who wes as ignorant 43 her have lost eae Scene: Washington post office. Lady at stamp window—“Give me %@ cents in stamps, please. Thank you.” (Be- gins to stamp letters; drops purse, muff and handkerchief in the operation. Stout gentleman in the rear picks them up for her.) She—“Oh! Thank ycu!” (Puts handker- chief in her muff, drops purse. Stout gen- tleman again comes to the rescue.) “Too bad to trouble you.” (To clerk): “Oh, I haven't paid you.” (Looks in purse and €lscovers 9 ceats; gasps slightly). ‘“Why, gcod gracious! If I haven't spent all my money! Did you ever! Never mind, though, I'll come down tomorrow and pay you.” (Continues to stamp letters calmly.) P. O. Clerk, mildly, but firmly—“Very sorry, madam, but you will have to return the stamps if you haven't the moncy. It’s against the rules.” She, in astonished voice—‘Return the stamps! Why, didn’t I tell you I will come down tomorrow and pay you? I have to go home and get the money, don’t I?” Clerk—“Yes, but you can’t take the stamps with you.” She, indigrantly—“The idea! Of course Ican. Do you suppcse I want to steal the stamps?” Clerk, politely—“We don't doubt your integrity, madam, Lut it’s against our rules. Government business isn’t run that way.” She—“Well, F can tell you, you never will do any business the way you run it. It’s the greatest piece of impertinence I ever knew! I little thought I should have to ceme to the post office to be insulted!” Clerk, smiling feebly—“Not at all. You can get your stamps up town as you go oe and drop your letters in the nearest Ox." She—“That is none of your affairs. I am quite capable of posting my own letters. ‘Shat is just what I want the stamps for. But, of course, if you absolutely need the money at once” (with great scorn), “I can send the servant right back with it a3 soon as I get home.”’ Clerk—“No, madam; very sorry to dis- oblige you, but you have to pay here.” (Looks hopelessly at stout gentleman in the rear, who is waiting to get to the win- dew—also a line of people behind him.) She—“Do you mean to tell me that I am not to be allowed to stamp my own let- ters? And with my sister in Chicago wait- ing to hear from me by every mail about tke parlor curtains! It's the most out- rageous thing I ever knew! I shall tell my husband about it!” (Stout gentleman smiles broadly; clerk coughs.) “He will be in a pretty rage, I can tell you. It’s only because I’m here a defenseless woman that you dare to talk to me like that. I'll have ycu know that my husband is worth a hundred thousand dollars; that I ean get credit this minute in any shop in this town. Clerk—“This is not a shop, madam; and we don’t keep running accounts. This is the government post office.” She—“Yes; and a nice kind of govern- ment it must be: I’m glad I don't belong to it! When I think what my father was and what my husband is today, able to give me everything on earth I wa and here I am, actually refused a mi: 5 cents’ worth of stamps. Why, ny blood boil!” Clerk, interrupting—“There are people be- hind ycu, madam, waiting. I shall have to trouble you for the stamps.” (Lady hesitates und then hands them to him, purple with indignation.) She—“Very well, I shall not say another werd. But you will be sorry for this. It to your interest, if you only knew it, to be polite to me. As it is, I shall never enter these doors again or buy another stamp from you as long as I liv (Glares majes- tically ound her and sweeps out.) Apoplectic amusement of stout gentleman and great relief of the line. ———— ERRORS OF INSTINCT. BY PHILANDER. JOHNSON? Written for The Evening Star. Come, if you must, stern man of truth, and tear the veil aside; Destroy the fancies dear to youth; knowledge be our guide. . To little ones give wisdom, though its fruits be only tears. They must learn life's cruel lessons, Where- fore wait upon the years? Lay bare the baser metal ‘neath the gilt- ing on the toy And hear the gratitude that speaks in duty; not in joy. Stand forth and gain, nor count the pain, the cynic’s cold applause, And tell the children that there isn’t any Santa Claus. let But in your justice do not halt. falsehood fear. Expose the empty nothings that we older ones hold dear. Show how the idols we have built are oft but basest clay; Show how the hour of bliss will like a bubble pass away; Show us the hungering mockery that hides beneath a smile; Teach us that even honor may be but a cloak for guile. There's nothing that we may not doubt, so strange are nature's laws; Don’t rest on one achievement small and stop with Senta Claus. Bid every Do as your conscience may command, al- though you dread to trace New lines of worldly meaning in a sweet and happy face. But for a time forget the task and feel the Christmas thrill; The care for others’ happiness; the gener- ous good will; From ‘sordid calculation you are drifting far away And ancther self is laughing at the hours that brought dismay. Before you lift your hand to shatter child- ish fancies pause, And be yourself quite certain that there is no Santa Claus. * x A Reminder. It was after the place was supposed to be closed to everybody except the janitor that the portly man of business found the of- fice boy sitting in a retired nook. “What are you doing here?” inquired the business man, “Reading,” replied the lad. me novel?” “Yes, sir. I suppose it is what you would call a nov: but I don’t believe it's the kind you mean.” “What kind of a story is it?” inquired the employer, whose tones increased in kindl- he as the worried look disappeared trom his face. “It's about a boy whose parents were poor and who was forced to earn his living. So he got a situation as an office boy.” “And in the course of time by his courage and honesty he arose until he became one of the partners in the firm.” “I suppose so, 1 haven't got that far yet.” “And I suppose you are hoping you'll get along as well as the boy in the book.” “Yes,” was the answer, with a sigh; “I'd like it first-rate.” “As far as you've got in the book, that boy hasn’t had to worry about whether the landlord is going to raise the reat on his property so as to eat up all the protits, have you?” “No. I don’t believe there is anything like that in the stor: “He hasn't had any reason to bother about what Congress may do to raw ma- terial, has he?” “Not yet. He hast a shipping clerk yet. “Then, of course, he doesn’t lie awake nights wondering whether somebody wnom he has accommodated in a business way 1s going to swamp him by allowing his notes to go to protest?” “I haven't n anything like that.” “Weill, if ycu want to get a clear idea of all that probably happened you mustn't omit these details and think them over at- tentivel, Don’t neglect to earn as many opportunities as you can, nor to clinch every one ax it comes along. Don't shirk any responsibilities when they arrive; but, at the same time, avold getting your mind so firmly fixed on the future that you can’t enjoy being an office boy while you have the chance.” Mistakes of Insects Which Seem to Deny Them the Power of Selection. The opinion is still very generally enter- tained that with animals, especially those of the lower order, instinct is the determin- ing guide that incites to the proper per- formance of action or function, and that as such it is far less liable to err than the reasoning of intelligence. Few scientifi prejudices have been more difficult to over- come than that which removes from ani- mals the reasoning faculty, and probably many years will yet elapse before it will be recognized that all animals which come under ordinary observation are endowed with the same kind of faculty, although de- veloped in various degrees of a descending scale, which distinguishes man and the so- called higher organisms. The bee and anit have been frequently held up as the best exponents of the instinct class, and more recently of the “exception: animals which developed reasoning powers; and it Was a rude shock, not only to the layman, but as well to the scientist, when Sir John Lubbock, as the result of an almost end- less series of experiments, announced a few years ago that these animals were “sadly wanting” both in their instinctive and intellectual traits. In other words, there were many times when both instinct and intelligence erred for them. Some most remarkable instances of the erring of in- stinct among insects have recently been noted by naturalists, and they add an in- teresting chapter to the physiology of sense. One of these was the case of a but- terfly, which persisted in visiting the ar- tificial flowers on a lady’s bonnet, mistak- ing them for the natural product.. Another, and perhaps more striking, instance of fault is noted by the distinguished French entomologist, M. R. Blanchard, and con- cerns a species of sphinx moth, which en- tered a hotel room in the half obscurity of early morning, and was found to flit with direct intent to definite parts of the walls and ceiling. These were decorated with paintings of leaves and flowers, and to the 't even gotten to be * * x A Practical Reformer. He had not been in business very long, or he would assuredly have known: better than to open his place of business near a somewhat pretentious neighborhood and place the sign “Gents’ Furnishing Store” over the door. He observed that a prim- tacks, thrusting forward its proboscis as though intent upon intruding it into the opened cups of the beguiling flowers. After repeated failures and the resulting discour- agement, the effort was given up, and the sphinx escaped by the window. This case of self-deception is interesting in another way, inasmuch as it proves that it is not always the sense of smell, but at times that : looking lady paused and stared at it when- 7 ‘hich ts t Pa LN ee ge eg ae ————— think that she was struck by its artistic TREATMENT FOR RHEUMATISM. The Russians Take an Ant Bath to Cure Themselves of the Disense. The Russian peasants, more especially those residing in the neighborhood of Mos- cow, have a peculiar and original method of treating themselves for that bane of mankind, rheumatism. Many cures, even in very bad cases, are, it is claimed, ef- fected by making the patient take ant baths. The manner of preparing these baths is as follows: An anthill is sought, and when found, a sack is filled with ants, ants’ eggs, and if it be considered necessary, a certain quantity of the earth which composes the hill. The sack is then closed hermetically and carried to the home of the sufferer. A warm bath is already prepared here, and the sack is plunged bodily into the hot water. Soon this latter begins to give off @ peculiar pungent odor, characteristic of formic acid. The bath is now ready for the patient’s immersion. The action of the bath on the skin is one of intense irritation, and the result seems to be a drawing out of the evil, and the consequent disappear- ance of the rheumatic pains. It is advisable for any one who may be tempted to try this remedy to be careful not to remain too long in the ant bath, as the consequences might be a total disor- ganization of the skin, which would peel off, due to the violent action of the acid. —_o—_ & “Chef L’Orchestre; Or, A Soul for Music. qualities. “It pays to have things done right,” he said to his salesmen. “The extra gold leaf in that lettering ccst money, but it attracts attention.” One day the prim-looking lady came into the shop. The proprietor hastened to wait on ker, and earnestly endeavored to display the affable courtesy befitting the occasion. “What can I show you today, madam?” he inquired, after bowing several times in rapid succession. “I was attracted by your sign,” she an- swered. “I would like to inspect the goods you mention.” “I don’t remember having called atten- tion to any special lines in my window.” “I refer to the sign over your door. My sister and I are going to give a series of tableaux vivants. Some of them will de- Pict scenes in the lower elements of so- ciety, and we should like to have you fur- nish us with a few gents for the occasion.” She gazed at his embarrassment with great satisfaction for a moment, and de- parted without further conversation. As she turned the corner the proprietor thoughtfully remarked: “Tom, I guess you'd better hunt up another sign painter and a school teacher and have them come and talk this over.” The Bulbul of Pohick. “A great many people,” writes the Bulbul of Pohick, “think that this country is be- hind the times because it hasn't any poet lavreate. They are wrong. The continent is full of them. And the beauty of it is they can wait as long as they please before getting up pieces without anybody finding fault. ‘The spectacle of a man feeling that every time a royal family gives a pink tea he has got to write a poem about it or lose his job is one that fills me with sympathy. The only danger in this country is that something of importance may occur with- out having portry wrote on it. It has never. yet happened, but in order to take no chances;.I have penned the following lines, ‘Saeco wit be assent ‘nielirel bt then a2 ‘There ate many kinds of congresses, sd int they say; Hien ioe) bills and some pass the time ay. But let the public they joyously pay ‘That in the long run, congress has given us many reasons to be happy and gay. It is never safe for anybody to condemn congress too far in advance remember as the expense For this is a land where in politics each has a chance. Remember, bofore allowing y aan & yourself to be There is no telling who may go there next. n at Bome One who finds such his happy lot May pees of your own relations as like as And on such an occasion no one feels like he or she had the authority To find any fault with the will of the ma- jority. As reports of the Reichsrath's recent doings I scan, I am _ glad our congress is not run on the European plan. Before it meets, it is usual for folks to try Their very best to prophesy, Exactly what will be done I do not Avd I am a heap franker than saying so. But this much I am prepared to state; We are a nation proud and great And even though Cuba's future troubles should reach an enormous amount, On numerous personal expressions of sym- pathy she can always count And whatever else to Hawaii may hap- Pen, we never, no never will permit anyone to scratch it entirely off the map. I fain would say more, but we authors or authoresses as the case may be fear s that people throw at us And they might say | was more of a Jingo than a poete: know many in give expression, Some for its breadth of mind and more for its length of s ion. I for one, shall be there if I can possibly get away, to see those great men meet and mingle, Mest of them marrie: On looking the ass observer finds That it is made up of gentlemen of all kind Scme shave regular and zre fashions glass, And some wear whiskers and blow out the zas. But no matter whether they wear fine linen or paper collars ry cne of them gets $5900 Which I am stre any woman with half an eye To economy could keep house were to try. | g | To much wonderment at congress people | but some few single. mblage over, the on if she xox Proud of His Record. “I suppose there is a great deal of un- recognized genius in the world,” remarked the literary young woman. “Yes, indeed,” replied her father, as he looked up from the trade paper; “lots and lots of it. People are a great deal more sensible these days than they used to be.” ‘You mean they are more sensible be- cause they have so much unrecognized genius?” she queried in surprise. “That's it, precisely.” Taking off his glasses and balancing them on his fore- finger, he went on: “I remember when I was a boy I had a great talent for music. I could remember almost any tune I ever heard, and play ft on a mouth-harp. _And draw pictures? Many is the picture I have drawn. So hard is it to curb genius that lots of times I would find myself drawing pictures on my slate instead of doit my arithmetic.” “How unfortunate that you couldn't have cultivated your talents!” “Not a bit of it; not peculiarly fortunate. The trouble with too many geniuses is that they don’t have com- mona sense. Now, I was different. I profited by my opportunities. You can't get a com- mon-school education without finding out what fs likely to happen to a man as soon as the world picks him out as a genius. Go right along through the dist of them. They are always selling pictures or poems or musical compositions for less than the market value. People somehow expect It of them. And it’s mighty seldom that one gets rich. As soon as I discovered that I had any symptoms of genius, I fought them down. I battled with myself and went into the livery stable business. By being cau- tious and attending to business I arrived at a position of comparative independence, so that I can look contentedly around me and feel that it wouldn't do any great harm now, even if I were recognized. —_-—_— A Little Might Work. From the Buffalo Enquirer. There is an office not far away where the phonograph is used in daily business. The Man of Business comes down town when he gets ready, opens his voluminous mail and proceeds to answer his letters by talk- ing into the phonograph. Later a type- writer fits the receiver to her ears and reduces the contents of the phonograph to writing. In the afternoon the Man of Bus!- ness comes in for a few minutes and at- taches his signature to the letters, and so a vast deal of business is handled with dispatch. The otaer day the typewriter found the phonograph wound up with an endless spool of story. She reduced it faithfully to type, and left it for the Man of Business to sign. This is how some of it read: Whose deal? Mine. Stay. I'm out. Stay. I'll stay. How many? Three. Three here. One card. Chip. Five better. Out. Five better'n you, Five harder. What on? Kings up. ‘That's My a bit of it. I was Come up. ‘Your say. Oh, I'm out. So'm L Make it a jack. Quarter jack. Who's shy? > ‘Nah. Pair o’ tens. I can’ ‘Open her for five, Stay. Three cards. Gimme four. Not any. Sh take Mt along. d when the Man of Business this far he 3 : “Great Scott! 1 must have left that blamed running all last night.” ——____+@______ From the Westminster Gazette. ‘The compliments paid by the poor are cften put in an amusing way. One old ‘woman who was very fond of the rector said to Mr. Bernays: “You know, sir, us likes the rector; “is ears are so clean!”— surely an odd reason for parochial affec- ticn. Another admirer once declared with regard to the whole staff of clergy: “You are all so plain ( word of high commenda- tien), but as for the vicar, ‘e's beautiful”” - same ever