Evening Star Newspaper, June 5, 1897, Page 18

18 Written Exclusively for The Evening Star. “The recent observations in The Star in relation to some authoritative expression on the part of the government In the mat- ter of flying the flag on ceremonial days were forcibly brought to mind on Decoration day in New York,” observed an army offi- cer to a Star reporter. “Under orders from the War Department the flag was flown at half mast at the government garrisons and forts in the New York harbor, as well as elsewhere, from sunrise to midday, when it was hoisted to the peak and flown there during the remainder of the day. This was all right as far as it went, but during the same day, under orders and the custom of the navy, the flag was flown at half mast all day in respect to Memorial or Decora- It is the custom of the ships of nations which are in harbors on sions to observe the customs of the country in whose harbor they are, and in respect and in sympathy they flew their flags at half mast. At high noon, however, they saw our flag go up to the peak at the forts. The flags at the navy yard and on the vessels there remained, under the custom of the navy, at half mast, and the foreign ships were in a quandary as to what to do. Some continued flying their flags at half mast, and others, not knowing what to do, followed the flag at the forts and hoisted their flags to the peak. The same thing has frequently hap- pened. The army claims to be right and so does the navy. The trouble is they do not work in harmony. The foreigners do not know which is right and do not want to offend either side to the controversy, so they divide up on it.” A naval officer, in speaking on the same subject, said: “It seems to me stupid that the army and navy cannot get together in this ceremonial. The only precedent that 1 know of is Ail Souls’ day, which occurs in November. All French ships fly their flags at half mast _on that day, and when our ships are in French ports they observe the custom. Should an American ship run up her flag, or any other ship, for that mat- ter, to the peak on that day in a French port. it would be regarded as in exceedingly bad taste. and would be decidedly offensive to the French. The same way when an American vessel {s in a French port on Decorxtion day, she files her flag at half mast, and the ships of the French and other nations in respect fly their flags in the same way. The Navy Department when in a separate building always flew its flag on Decoration day at half mast the entire day, while the War Department, which was in an adjoining building, as on Monday last, only flew the flag at half mast for a half day. Now that they are in the same building they are divided the same way on the subject, though on Monday last the flag was flown at half mast till noon and for the remainder of the day at the peak.” xe eK ® “Though there are thousands of willows growing on the Potomac flats, or, to speak more correctly, Potomac Park, for Con- gress at its last session so named the flats,” explainel a Long bridge attendant to a Star reporter, “they are all volunteer growth. coming up on their own accord. In cleaning cut the channel, the dredged material was dumped into the flats. With this dredging came up the willow seed which was washed down the river, and in @ couple of years there was a full crop of willow trees, and which will in time be very ornamental as they get older. A care- ful examination of other trees and plants on the flats shows specimens which are not Indigenous to this section, the seed having washed down the Potomac and being dredged up in the same way. Some of these seed must have come over a hundred miles, for they are only known in the coun- try adjacent to the extreme head waters of the Potomac and the streams that are the source of the Potomac. The willows have been of special value, for they are ceep rooters and serve to keep the dredged material compact. The result {s that the flats are now nearly as solid as if It was a naturally formed earth. The other trees which grow there have been of great bene- fit im the same direction. My own idea, however, is that the willows will not grow as high as might be desired, and for this reason I think the government should Plant out some trees which will grow high- er and afford more shade. As it takes twenty years at least to grow a large tree it seems to me, if much good is to come from Potomac Park, that the additional trees should be set out as early as possi- bie, so that those who follow us can reap the benefit from them even if we cannot.” ~* ee KK “There is considerable money invested in the adjoining sections of Maryland and Virginia in chicken farms, as well as in in- cubators, and while many of them have not met with all the success the enterprise of their owners deserved, they are learning many things in connection with the chicken business,” sald an extensive chicken raiser from Ohio. “It happens that I have the largest chicken farm in this country, and know considerable of the business. I have builded an incubator three stories high, heated throughout by steam. It has a ca- pacity of thirty thousand eggs, though I seldom have over ten thousand eggs hatch- ing out at the same time. I have sold as many as one hundred dozen chickens in a day, and there is seldom a day in the year that my farm does not send fifty dozen chickens to the market, besides barrels and barrels of eggs. There is more money in chickens, though, than in eggs. -I find that there are a number of department clerks who run chicken raising plants, and many of them complain that the cost is more tha the income, and some of them are greatly discouraged. In every case I find that the difficulty is that they are un- able to give as much attention to their chickens as is needed. It is a light task to raise a few hundred chickens in a season in an amateur way, but if one expects to make any money out of the business they must be prepared to give it their undivided attention, for there is no business which demands such ciose attention as the chicken business. For anything like suc- cess absolute cleanliness is necessary. To obtain this my judgment is that no one should attempt doing anything in the way of extensive chicken raising business un- less their establishment is located on sandy soll, which is thoroughly drained, and which is washed down by every rain. There should also be a stream of water through the place, for in no other way can it be — kept clean.” 5| e ae RR ok ““The continual warning that we have to give passengers,” sald a conductor on a cable car, ‘to not get off until the car stops becomes very tiresome before our day’s work is done. We repeat the warn- ing hundreds and hundreds of times during the day, and before night comes it gives us aheadache. Sometimes we have to give the warning very sharply and loudly, and it is strange how a repetition of these words pains a conductor's head. It would be bad enough if the warning stopped when the day’s work was done, but with new conductors this warning sings through their head while they are sleeping. Let any one try to sing out ‘Wait until the car stops’ a couple of hundred times or even less, and then they can appreciate the task. The sudden ending of the sentence on the word ‘stops’ is where the trouble comes in. If it could end in any other way it would not be so wearing. It 1s also strange how many otherwise sensible people have to have this warning shouted to them. I do not know the reason, but it seems that the majority of passengers prefer to fall off a car rather than to take a little time and get off properly.” x ke Kt “The season for. packing away winter clothing, wraps, etc., for the summer is now at hard, though I have been consider- ably, delayed by the very backward spring,” remarked a practical housekeeper, “and ft is well that this work should be well done. Indeed if it is not well done, it ts better that it should not be done at all. The moth is a very interesting creature, and while its ravages can be prevented or re- duced to the minimum, it is also true that if given the slightest chance it will so increase that they will actually take pos- session of our closets. First of all, woolens should be well alred in the sun and beaten before they are packed. My practice is to air them for two successive days and give them frequent shakings during that time. It is important that the pockets of all gar- ments should be turned inside out during the time they are airing—afterward I put two or three moth balls tied up if paper in each pocket. The garments should be neatly folded and packed in pasteboard xes. Dealers have a number of very good boxes which they are glad enough to give away. Others have a specially made box which they sell for the purpose, and which more than pay for their cost, by the protection they afford woolens. There are a number of things which can be used in packing the geods, such as pepper, snuff, tobacco leaves and the like, but the old- fashiored gum camphor to my mind 1s the best, though I put in some moth balls also. The camphor in time evaporates and the moth balls are more lasting, though the odor of them {s unpieasant to many. After the goods are packed, it is necessary to paste strips of paper around the boxes so as to keep the moth from getting in, should the camphor or moth balls evaporate, which is seldom the case, however. The boxes should be packed away in closets and as an additional security I always wrap each box in a newspaper. The ink on the paper is-not relished by moth and news- papers are specially valuable on that ac- count.” —_.>—__. AN ODD KIND OF A TALE. Told by 2 Former Telegraph Operator at Red Dirt. There is in Washington a telegraph oper- ator who for the past five or six years has been able to live without work, because, af- ter twenty-five years of faithful service at the ticker, an old aunt of his died in New Jersey, leaving him money enough to pay off all his debts and net him an income about twice as big as he ever made per year at hts desk. “I bad an odd bit of experience once,” he said the other day to Star man, “waich I have told a good many times, but never to a newspaper man, and very rarely to anybody in the last ten or a dozen years. You haven't forgotten, of course, the most lost person of our modern history, cne Charlie Ross. Well, when he was stolen, over twerty years ago, I was an operator at a mining town of ten or twelve aundred people, called Red Dirt, something over a hundred miles from Denver. I may say that there isn't any town there at all now and hasn't been for fifteen years. “There wasn’t a great deal of business done over the Red Dirt wire, and my duties after dark were mostly at the leading gambling place in town, which was the only respectable resort we had. I slept in the office to be handy in case of sudden calls, and one night about a year or six- teen months after the Charlie Ross disap- pearance I had just returned from the Seven Up saloon—usually known as the Seven Uppers House—and was getting into bed when I was startled by the ticker beginning to have spasms. I rushed to it to find out what was the matter, and as I did so, whoever was making the disturb- ance had gotehimself in shape and as fast as he could get the words to :ne he was telling me that he was one of the men who had stolen the Ross boy, and was then in the hands of the others, who re- fused to restore the child to his father and had threatened to kill him (the sender) if he made any attempt to betray the party. They had the boy with them then, and they were at—and here there was a worse spasm than ever, and not another tick came. To say I was shaken up but ill ex- Presses it, but it was a stormy night, and to go searching was impossible until day- light, and notifying our town marshal of what I had heard I tried to call my only neighbor, the operator on the main wire where the Red Dirt branch tapped him sixty miles away. “I could not get him, and after repeated fallures I went to bed to start off with the marshal at daybreak to find out what the matter was. We did not strike ft till next day in the afternoon, when in one of the wildest parts of the mountains, about ten miles from the main line, we found the wire cut, and evidences of a struggle at the foot of a telegraph pole, with epots of blood on the stones about the place. What it meant, who had done it, why the parties were there, whether they were as the one iad represented, or anything in the way of explanation we did not know. All we knew was what had come to ne over the wire at midnight. We went on to the main wire, but the operator there was on a drunk and had been for thirty-six hours and he did not know as much as we did. PEARLS OF ETIQUETTE. It t not the correct thing to be careless in Gress at home, any more than when THE EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, JUNE 5, 1897-28 PAGES. FATAL OVERSIGHT. A Brief Narrative Showing the Danger of a Lapse. ofeMentaiity. The discussion had ¢urne@ upon that pe- cullar condition of & person’s mind which will set warn him when he fs doing or about to do something that can only result disastrowsly, er, in legs serious cases,which will make him appear silly to the very verge Of sanity. As, for instance, when a person goes to see a friend at a house when he knows the person has not lived there for weeks; or he will go to a bank on a holiday, without ever thinking of the holi- day till he finds the door shut. “Which reminds me,” said a War De- partment clerk, “‘of a page out of the story of my Ife when I was doing business for myself, and before politics ruined me and drove me into the government service. I had an acquaintance in a bucket shop who made @ Iot-of money, mostly by skinning people, and I used to tell him to look out or some of them would fix him some time in a way he didn’t like, but would stop him off just the same. To this he replied with a laugh, but one morning when I went to my office I noticed that the glass in his door wus broken, and it excited my sus- picion, as he and I were the only occu- pants at that time of thé floor, which was ten stories up. The door was open, and I saw my neighbor sitting at his desk dead, and a hole in his head which might have been made with a pick. “It was murder, of course, but it was rot robbery, for nothing was disturbed, and I felt that my prediction had come true. There was no clue, however, and though the police made every effort, nothing could be discovered to show who had done the deed. The victtm’s brother had taken his papers from the desk the morning of the murder, and they had not been examined for three days. On the fourth day the brother showed up, with a will made by his brether, and dated the day of the mur- der. The will was brief, making the broth- er the sole legatee, and, strangely enough, it bore the name as witness of a man who had been ruined by the dead man. As soon as I saw the signature I took an offi- cer and went to the witness’ house, where we found him. I had got the officer up to the proper pitch by my talk on the way there, and as soon as the man appeared in the room where we were the officer ar- rested him for the murder of the broker. It was a bluff, but it worked, and the man broke down and confessed the whole thing. Then he seemed to be easier in his mind, and he wanted to know how we suspected I showed him the will, with his sig- him. nature as witness, and his surprise was genuine when he threw up his hands, and for the first time realized what he had done by putting it there. “T asked him how it happeyed, and he told us that he had gone to the broker's office late at night, as he had done on oth- er occasions, when no one was about, and had tried to get him to let him have back part of the money he had lost, but the man taunted him, and it had crazed him, and he caught up a miner’s pick and was about to brain him with it, when the broker, to gain time or a chance to escape, had ask to Iet him make his will before he |, and, just to humor him, he had done ‘Then the broker told him that it was dic 80. not legal unless Witnessed, and asked him to witness it. There the strange part of the whole thing came in, for, without ever thinking what the result would be, and having only in mind the humoring of the victim, he had written his full name. And even stranger, he had never thought of it until I had showed him the will. “All of which was fully exhibited at the trial, and the man was acquitted on the grounds of emotional insanity.” —— A DIFFERENT CUSTOM. What is Proper in the United States is Not in Mexico. The man who had been down in Mexico trying to buy up a car load of silver dol- lars made for the American market, and guaranteed worth their weight in sterling silver, was in town the cther day looking for customers. Incidentally he ran across a Star reporter and offered to sell him @ ton or two of dollars. Then the man ask- ed for a light and the reporter, flipping the ashes from his cigar, handed it over to the returned traveler. “There's such a difference in customs,” sald the man, taking his light from the borrowed cigar. “Now you notice how po- litely and thoughtfully—for thoughtfulness is the true politeness—you knocked the ashes off of your cigar when you handed it to me to light mine?’ “Reporters are always polite,” suggested the reporter. “As I was saying,” continued the man, unheeding, “‘there ts such a difference in evstoms. Now, when I went to Mexico the first time, I didn’t know the Mexican code of manners, and about the first thing I did when I landed was te ask a man for He handed me a cigar with the I thought it was bad manners, kindled my a Hght. ashes on. but I flipped them off and I did that four or five times, and I Then I be- weed. always got it the same way. gan to hope some of them would ask me for a light so I could show Mexico what real manners were. I got the chance one Gay, and when a man esked me for a light I flipped off the ashes and, with a salaam at least two yards across in its widest sweep, I extended him the blazing stump. He took it, of course, because he was too polite to treat a stranger otherwise, but he did it in a way that showed me something was wrong, and I began asking a question or two. . “The result was that I discovered what the true form was and what an ass I had been making of myself trying to teach those old castile soaparcons what the code cigarro was. My instructor told me that the thing to do was to leave the ashes on at their full and to daintily touch the un- lighted cigar or cigarette just about the fire line between the ash and the tobacco. After that, being no longer in tgnorance, to avoid bloodshed or international complica~ ticns I never again was filp with the ashea of my cigar.” GOOD SHOOTING UPTOWN. It Was Years Aback and the Spot ‘Was the Treasury Building. “Some years ago,” says an old gunner, “3 had fine sport in pigeon shooting on 15th and F streets northwest. I do not wonder you look surprised. I was employed in the treasury at the time—a little before the war —and the pigeons that roosted on the cor- nice and about the capitals of the colon- nade had multiplied, and they were so nu- merous as to inconvenience the employes. To those particularly who were in the up- per stories of the building they were an in- tolerable nuisance. The superintendent of the building secured from the mayor a sus- pension of the law prohibiting the use of firearms within the city lHmits, so as to al- low gunning about the building before 7 o'clock in the morning by such persons as he should designate. I having had the reputation of being a good shot and with a mouth set for a pigeon pie dinner secured permission to shoot. One morning’s shoot- ing was enough for me so far as the bird ple dinner was concerned, for some of the lirds were so aged and tough that hide and feathera were too much for the lead; and many of those killed who found their way to kitchens were too much for the teeth. ‘The sport was kept up for several days, more to the benefit of the department in contracting the circulation of the birds than for the pleasura of eating the game secured, and thousands were slain. See CUPID IN JAIL. A Reminiscence of a Sly Courtship Years Ago. “Cupid is no respecter of persons or places,” says a member of a well-known family, “for while ‘love laughs at lock- smiths,” Cupid, to my knowledge, has made himself felt behind prison bars. Do you re- member the old Washington ‘Infirmary, which stood behind the court house? Well, that was the jail in old times—from 1804 to 1838. In those days there was imprison- ment for debt, and quite a handsome young man, unable to meet his obligations, be- came a prisoner. The jailer lived in part of RARE WEST INDIAN SEALS. 3 bo Two Iinter@itinggSpectmens Now at * the’ ‘ical Park. d visitors to the es bore tke follawing legend: “Went Indian*seal. Monachus tropicalis, gray. Habit: if of Mexico and Cartb- bean sea, frdfa thg Bahama Islands to the coast of Yucajan gad Horduras.” The label did net say, as {t might have done, that this! Wal was the first large animal of the’ Am¢rican content that was known by Columbus’ Voyage to the West Indias in 1404, he an- chored off thé*sdutdern coast of Hispaniola, near a little “Isard which he called Alta ela. Several ‘seamen were orderet climb to the. top of the their return they killed eight ‘“‘sea wolves,” which wert ing on the sands. At that time the scals must have been very abund- ant in all the region between the Bahama Islands and the Central American coast, for Dampier, writing in 1675 of the Alacran Islands near Yucatan, says: ‘Here are many seals. They come up to sun them- selves only on two hree of the islands.” In 1707 Str Hans Sloane, writing on the natural history’ of Jamaica, says: “The Bahama Islards re filled with Seals; some- times Fishers wil catch 100 in a night. ‘They try or melt them, and bring off their Oyl for Lamps to the Islards.” This oll industry seems to have nearly exterminated the seal, for the animal has been almost unknown since that time. The single individuals secured at tong intervals have been among the most prized treastres of the great museums, and it was not until‘ recently that a com- plete specimen coyld be obtained upon which to base-a scientific description of the animal. Thts specimen was recetved at the National Museum from Prof. Felipe Poey of Havatia and was described by Profs. True and Lucas of that institution. The only places now known to be in- habited by these seals are a few little coral islands off the north coast of Yucatan. Here, free from molestation, lives a little remnant which survived the first fierce persecution. Now the ofl fs no longer wanted, and ag their coats are valueless, man has no incentive to hunt them down. Fishermen go to these islands but rarely, and then only out of curiosity. It is to one of these visits that the Zoological Park owes its pair of seals. The fishermen who obtained them report the animals as utterly devoid of fear, not moving when approached and allowing themselves to be handled with no sign of alarm. The park is fortunate in having secured both male and female of this rare species. The two animals are of about equal size, five feet long or a little less, and would weigh in the neighborhood of 150 pounds. Both are of a dark, leaden brown above, with underparts somewhat lighter. ‘The male has a conspicuous white muzzle and breast, which at once distinguish him from his mate. Both sexes when adult are said to attain a length of from seven to eight feet, and a weight of 400 or 500 pounds. When out of the water they progress by a series of quick hitches, making no use of the filppers. This is evidently a serious exertion, as they will go but a few feet before stopping to rest. In the water, how- ever, they are models of ease and agility, gliding back and forth, diving and rolling, or standing with head and shoulders out of the water to look about. The valve-like nostrils are tightly shut as the animal goes under, and open with a puff as it comes to the surface. The female has a penchant for swimming on her back, and in circling ies tank invariably makes the return in tt manner to her starting it. H For animals that have been 1n captivity but a few days they are surprisingly tame, and they certainly bear out the character given them the fishermen. They come up promptly to inspect a fish that is held out to them, but refuse it until dropped into the water. Then it fs seized and put through a Iong process of biting and shak- ing through the water, till fairly macerated before it is finally eaten. Altogether these seals are most interesting animals, and the Zoological Park is fortunate in secur- ing the first specimens ever exhibited in a zoological garden, Written Exclusively for The Evening Scar. A True Story. “I suppose,” said the young woman of slightly romantic tendencies, who is in Washington for a short stay, “that the President often goes about the streets just Ifke an ordinary citizen?’ “He does if he happens to feel like it,” Teplied her host. “And it is quite possible that he might go seme place and meet some subordinate of- ficial who failed to recognize him and who made him obserye the rules just like any- bedy else?” “That could hardly happen. are too widely known.” “still,” she insisted, “It might happen “Oh, of course,” was the response, prompted by a desire to be hospitable and obliging; “it might happen.” “If there ts anything I leve, it's to read about great men going about and meeting seme humble person who won't believe the great man when he tells who he ts, but goes right ahead and obeys orders. You know, the great man always sends for him and tells him not to be frightened, as he did only his simple duty. And then the great man rewards him. I think it is all Perfectly lovely! Hasn’t anything like that ever happened to the President?” “I believe there was a man who once stopped a President,” said her host, who is @ gentleman with too kind a heart to allow anybody to he needlessly disappointed. “Somebody of lowly station?” “Yes. He was only a humble workman. He was attending to his obscure duties faithfully and unostentatiously, when along e the President's carriage. ‘Drawn by splendid, dashing steeds.” ff course. The driver, impressed, no doubt, by a sense of his own importance, Was going straight ahead without noticing anything in particular, and the humble workman realized that in a few minutes the carriage would be trespassing on land which he had been accustomed. to regard as sacred to the use of his employers; land upon which he would permit no one to go unless they permitted it.” “Did he call on the carriage to halt?” “No. He didn’t say a word; he simply barred the passage with some lumber and held the party at bay without paying any attention to the anger of the coachman or the frowns of the oceupants. At last, when several hundred yards of freight cars had gone forward and back—” “Freight cara!” “Yes. Oh, I hadn't told you yet, had I? The humble workman was gatetender at a os for one of the railway com- panies.” His features * x * A Not Unnatural Mistake. A family who live In Peru, where the skies are so much more placid than the political temper of the populace, ts visiting in Washington. As they neared the end of their sea journey, a long, low rumble, which was readily recognized by the satiors as the note of a thunder storm, sent dis- may into their souls. To them the un- familiar reverberation was a majestic and ominous mystery. “What do you suppose it can be?’ in- quired the mother. And pater, not happening to recall any explanatory allusions which he had met with in reading books of travel, rose to a sublime height of moral courage and gon- fessed he didn’t know. The noise attracted so little attention among the people around them that they disliked to make any in- quiries, for fear of inviting ridicule, and they sat in silence and tried to evolve a solution for themselves. “I believe I have ft!” the eldest daughter exclaimed. “It goes to show how unlucky we are.” prow don’t think it’s a bad sign, do uu? —_—>— HELPING A FRIEND. A Statesman Whe Was Willing to Give Up What He Had. “There are those who say unkind things of the late Dan Voorhees,” remarked a prominent republican from the state of Indiana, “but whatever may be sald, {t is political and not personal, for the man had cne side to his nature that the whole world could admire, and that part of it which knew did admire and love as well. It was on this account that when he died there were many who shed sincere and sorrowful tears for his loss. They did not know him @8 @ politician and a United States senator, ut as a men and friend. ‘L remember an instance showing his kindness, and also showing one of the rea- rzons why he was always poor. He had gene down the railroad some thirty or forty miles from his home to defend a case in court, which he had very little thought of getting any money for, though the Mtigant hid plenty of property. He won the oase, and, much to his surprise, “Not in any superstitious sense. But when we left home we congratulated our- selves on having got away from the po- litical disturbances which are continually spoiling our peace of mind. But it’s no use trying to be calm and peaceable. The fates won't allow it. It was just our luck to get to this country just as they were drag- ging out the artillery and starting a revo- lution.” * x * of Etiquette. If it ever should be your remarkable chance To be hurried abroad on a mission to his client gave him $100, which was also Pleagant to have, as he had loaned to vartous applicants what little money he had brought from home with him. He pocketed the hundred, and, after paying his hotel bill, started to walk leisurely to France, the train, due in half or three-quarters of | You will find that you must, ere your duty an hour. On his way he was overtaken by is ee: a former friend, who hurried after him to 2. ‘ ask his legal advice, free, of course, in the | Use @ great many words that you ne’er matter of staving off a mortgage on his used before. $3,000 dollar farm, and saving {t to his family. A hundred dollars .would set it forward a year, and give him that much time to pul! himself out, which he was sure he could do. Voorhees talked ten minutes or more to the man, giving him such advice as he thought was the best, and all at once he broke into’ a hearty So, here's some advice Which, perchance, may suffice To avert the disasters that troop; Be sure that you've said “Dans le potage” instead Of declaring a man’s in the soup. ’Twould undoubtedly be a most sorrowful ‘What's the matter?’ asked the farmer fate indignant at such levity. Not to have your vernacular right up to “‘Why,’ still laughed Voorhees, going date; into the pocket where his roll of bills was, ‘here I'm talking all this time to you, when I've got the very thing you need. I had clean forgotten all about it. Here’s what you want a good deal more than legal ad- vice,” and handing the farmer the $100 fee he hurried along to the railroad station. where he borrowed money enough to buy a ticket home.” It would seem an emphatic misfortune to I jose This.language, so terse, we're accustomed to use. ‘You needn’t learn much; Just a delicate touch Of the Gallic discourse here and there, If it's gracefully spoke, ‘Will be sure to evoke Admiration for your “savwahr faire.” It oa not by any means pass as “good orm” To assure an acquaintance he “ts not so But, no doubt, as a brilliant remark it will go If you gleefully tell him he “n'est pas si chaud.” You will get in a snarl By forgetting “il parle Through his chapeau's” the style more po- lite. And you'll rivet your fame exclaim, If you lightly de vue” when you mesn “out of tn — A PLACE FOR FIFTY. A Statesman Who Found a Use for the Eoraings of His Pen. “I recall a pleasant incident in the Hfe of the late Representative Harter of Ohio,” said an Ohio man the other day. “I was at his apartments one evening at the hotel where he Iived during his first term in Con- gress, and was in the reception room with several friends while he was working in his office at the far end of the suite of rooms, Preseatlyshe came out among us laughing and }ioldliig m his hand 2 check. “‘Oh,’ be sqit fl us, I am Mterary as well as you afe, #nd here's a check for x2 $50 I have just ‘got from @ magasine for} _BCyend the Reach of Argument. artic! wasn’ “Have you anything to do?” asked the seth tonne | waen’t expecting to get}. .2che of the freight yard of the mam “I told him I was not that lterary, for} who had lounged in with his hands in I couldn't sell one article for $50, and we laughed and chatted awhile about it, Mr. Harter insisting that he wasn’t a writer for money, but for the sake of presenting his views to the world. “I don’t kriow, what to do with the check,’ he sai@, and turned to his wife. ‘Do you need ft?" he asked her. ahing te ant “She told hit sk did not, though most | rear neene *° Be women would You're a working- enot es. “Well, don’t you ly who does want it,” | think it would be a bis wife as if she never ‘I received a letter and do from the pastor of a little Lutheran chureh meee aie out Wi a Lutheran—away | thinking. s0 much together, thing. I pete ee meer a danced aw! with rousl: a with a- thing, and in a min- ute or two the d duly indorsed and accompanied by a+Jetter, was waiting for the to start it'on fits mission of el 7, and I Kgte often wondered what np LEE SE A PSS GS PS SS PSS hh rrp pgp sanennenn ne “Yes; they pald my wages all right. They @dn’t want to excite any suspicion, £0 they gave all the men their money every salary day. That was simply to keep them from suspecting anything.” “Were you overworked?” “No. I didn’t have any more to do than I coulé attend to with comfort. But it’s the principle of the thing that I am thinking about. I don’t like to be de- ceived. I wouldn't have known anything about it if a friend of mine who was out Ss strike hadn’t come and explained It © ‘What was it he told you?” “He exposed the way I had been misled, with a whole lot of others. if I had my way there’d be a boycott declared against the newspapers for starting the cry, ‘Go west, young man.’ Taere isn’t anybody that can convince me it wasn’t a put-up job to get something for nothing. The friend of mine who is out on a strike sat down and figured it out and showed me that when it’s noon in Washington it's orly 11 o'clock in the morning at Chi- I one the dilly-dallying I didn’t have any words, but soon as I found that out I went to the -boss, ting time comes exactly one hour sooner every day.” * * A Complim Punteeeeeenns ‘The actress had exerted herself to the utmost to make the hit of her Ife, and when her svene was over received tre hearty congratulations of the company. She was pleased to a certain degree, and yet doubtful. “I suppose the audience Iked ft,” ske said to the woman who plays matronly reves. “Of course, my dear. There is no mistak- ing the matter. You have made a hit.” “I'm not quite sure it amounted to so much as that.” “Why, the applause of the audience should have been sufficient to convince yo “Well, you know, that scene always geis @ great deal of applause, no matter who plays it. It's the strong situation of the sab “But even Miss Carper, your rival, com- piiments you.” “Was that horrid creature here?’ “Yes. And everybody is saying how nice it was in her to be so tive in ap- plauding you.” “So she applauded, did she?” the young woman mused, with a gathering frown. “Yes. She shouted ‘Bravo!’ and broke her fan hammering it on the edge of the pros- cenium box.” “That settles it. racter again.” hy not?” “Because I did it badly. If Miss Carper had really thought I was doing It well she wouldn't have applauded. She would have sat in the back part of the box and looked ltke a thunder cloud.” * rl never play that x** Traiaing for the Future Great. They're teachin’ the boys “bout the power of speech, An’ the glories it brought into many men’s Teach; Their minds are so polished, they know how to think An’ form an opinion as quick as a wink. The youngsters of now-a-days all of ‘em know What talkin’ accomplished fur ol’ Cicero; But they miss much that’s good, which comes under the head Of things that was thought of an’ never got said. These ready orations ain’t hkely to pay. It’s the answer that’s soft as'll turn wrath away; The cool, careful speakin’ as shows it ain't meant Jes’ fur givin’ semebody as good 2s he sent. You'll find it’s a rule the hull human race through; Repartee’s mighty fine when ’tain’t p'inted at you. But ye don’t run the risk of creatin’ no dread By the things that are thought of an’ never git said. ‘The man who lets eloquence flow thick an’ fast oft i nothin’ to show fur his labor at jt, While the slow-speakin’ man mos’ly has his own way "Cause he makes up his mind an’ then says it to stay. So, if ever my boy goes to college, I'll see If they won't start a course as a favor to me, So's he'll learr "bout the folks who to hon- ors was led By the things that was thought of an’ never got said. * A Long-Fei eae Want. Maud’s attitude and expression were un- usually pensive as she tore the tinfoil off @ package of chewing gum. “Say, Mame,” she exclaimed, with the-air of one who has found a problem too @im- cult, and must ask assistance, “what's the committee on foreign relations?” “Why, don’t you know what that is?” “No; that is to say, not exactly.” “Why, everybody knows that.” “I know they do Only, you sce, I can't exactly put it Into words. “Why, the committee on foreign relations is something, you know, that has some- thing to do with things up In Congress. “Oh! I'm ever so much obliged. You see, I wanted to tel my aunt about it.” “The one who is so rich?” “Yea. She's awfully nice, and my cousin takes after mother. She's one of the re og wag ho e was ul age. waar" — iy lucky In her mar- RS ye unlucky. Her husband is “I know that. He ought to have been ever and ever so nice. But my cousin is just that way. I wouldn't let her do any shopping me for anyt! . If there te one damaged article on the whole bargain “<a she's the person that always gets “Are they living In e: “Living in Europe? No, indeed. ‘They're living right up at my aunt's same old num- Bas est a has lived for years.” loes he do? Just spend anges" Just spend his wealth “No. He hasn't any wealth to spend. Father says that all he does is to sit own under his genealogical tree and fan him- pa at eat isn't exactly true, because \d oes out exe carriaze.” cs out of doors except in a “Doesn't your aun es Be patience’ it sometimes get out of “Yes. She's a frightfully good-natured woman. She didn’t say anything until he brought his two brothers to the house and told them to make themselves per- feotly at home. Then she opened her Ups to make some remark, but her daughter's husband is such an aristocrat that he awed her into silence by his haughty mien. It's a shame, and I think that if the case were only brought to the attention of the right people it would be looked into, and something would be done about it. I'm go- ing to tell my aunt to go up to Congress and see that committee right away, for ary dag ae if there is anybody relations n ee erg kena yo) eed attending to, . * A Consistent Conclusion. The old gentleman had never Pretended to be very dextrous in his use of the Eng- lsh languagge. His strong point 1 power, and rot polish. His miece is a young wo- man of artistic ac- complishments, scholarly attain- ments and cx- trefwely refined sen- sibilities. When the old gentleman asked s\ her to go to the cir- cus with him she was shocked; if he had been a close ob- server he would have seen a visible tremor go over her. But she accepted his invita- best-hearted men in the world. As they wandered through the menagerie tent he paused every now and then to consult a show bill, and repeated scmetLing under his breath os if he were learning it by heart. Stopping one of the hends traveling with the show, he said: “Look here, mister, can you tell mo ere I'll find the—* a — “Don't hurry me. We paid money to get into this show and I propose to see it ai What EF want to know is where we will find this?” He unfoldei the show bill and Pointed to the picture of a hippopotamus. “There are two of them right up there at the far end of the tent.” Tke old gentleman gazed with placid satisfaction at the huge, clumsy animals, which he had found with so much difi- culty. Turning to his niece, he remarked: I've always been a busy man, without much time for going arcund. In all my life this is the first time I ever saw a—er—a—" “Hippopotamus,” put in the young wo- man, obligirgly. “I guess that’s about as big and hand- some a pair of hippopotamuses as you'll ever see.” “Hippopotami,” corrected his companion. “You sid hippupota-mvs @ minute ago,” he expostulated. “If you mean only one, it’s ‘hippopota- mus;” if you mein two or more, you must say ‘hoypopotemL’ ” “Wken you want to form the plural of a noun, what's the matter with adding ‘s’ ‘es, as the case may be?” he inquired, his mind reverting to primary school days. “That doesn’t apply in this case.” “Well, I won't dispute over it. I’m here to enjcy myself and I-may as well own up that when it’s language I'm after the best thing I can do is to hire a typewriter. All I have to say is that those animals is a curious pair of ki.” don’t understand you.” “You don’t mean it?” “I don’t think there ts any such word in the English Janguage.” “Yes there is) You may not have heard it, but common sense shows it’s there. If ‘bippopotami’ 1s the plural of hippop2:a- mus, it stands tu reason that ‘ki’ is the plural of—" But his niece had hurried away to look at the zebra. —— The Chinese Do Things Backward. From the Chicago Tribune. The Chinese do everything backward. They exactly reverse the usual order of civilization. Note first that the Chinese compass points to the south instead of the north. The men carry on dressmaking and the women carry burdens. The spoken language of China is not written and the written language is not spoken. Books are read backward, and what we call foot notes are inserted at the top of the page. ‘The Chinese surname comes first instead of last. The Chinese shake their own hands in- stead of the hands of those they greet. ‘The Chinese dress in white at —_ and in mourning at weddings, while women always serve as bridesmaids. The Chinese launch their vessels side- ways and mount their horses from the off side. The Chinese begin dinner with des- sert, and end with soup and fish. ————— = 4?T THE END OF THE CENTURY. From Lafe. LA