Evening Star Newspaper, October 17, 1896, Page 15

HE: EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, OCTOBER “17, 1896—TWENTY-FOUR PAGES. TIPPING IN EUROPE Opinions Differ as to the Advantages of This Custom. WHY IT EXISTS ON THE CONTINENT It is Not Mainly Designed to Fleece the American Tourist. UNIVERSAL IN PARIS Special Correspondence of The Evening Star. PARIS, October 1, 1896. HERE IS ONE particular Europear custom to which traveling Americans accustom themselves with difficulty and under protest. Tip- ping, according te the average tourist. is the great European microbe, and he sees its ravages every- where around him. By reason of brocd- ing over the subject some of our tourists come to the most startling conclusions. For them the hotel keepers of Europe and their employes arc banded in a vast conspiracy to fleece the English-speaking guest. They pry into let- ters and “shadow” new arrivals. They de- mand commissions from tradesmen. They mark trunks with mysterious signs. In this way they soon know all about your business, you> fortune, your object in trav- eling, what you are going to buy, how long you are going to stay. To a tourist in thix desperate state of mind the tipping system is merely an insolent claim on the part of hotel people to make guests pay their serv- ants’ wages. Another type of American traveler sees things in a very different light. For him everything European is new and delightful and he never looks on tipping as a duty. He tips for pleasure. He tips early and often. The waiters know him at a giance and beam on him from his first entrance. He sees in their delighted alacrity—which The Family is Leaving! fs the reflex of his own—nothing but kind- ness, goodness and friendliness—w the reflex of his own agai Such a tourist, if he reflected on the mat- ter, would reply to the grumbling despiser of fraud and corruption something as fol- lows: “I find the regular hotel charges in Europe considerabty lower than at home in America. By liberal tipping, which, I un- derstand, is the custom of the country, I obtain much better service than I ever get at home. Look on the tipping as part of the bill, and you wiil see you pay no more than if the items were all lumped together as at home.” Such a tourist does not protest indignant- ly against cantles, corkage, bed room fires and all the other minnte itemizing of the European hotel, bookkeeper. Accepting the good things of ‘foreign iands, he takes the bad things with them philcsophically. Is he swindled? Does he corrupt the em- ployes? Is he taking a advantage ot his non-tipping fellow travelers? It is question—a question for theoretical discus ly, however, for the facts are elo- Where the Responsibility Lies. Undoubtedly tipping has gone very far in Paris, but is it the famous American tour- ist who is responsible? Not at all. Out- side of the hotels he is a nullity, and in them he is not the object of supreme im- portance which he often takes himself tc be. Indeed, we Americans might be a trific more modest on this score. Undoubtedly we are a large contingent, but there are vast numbers of cheap-trippers among us. Tipping has gone very far in Paris, but it The Concicrge. is not a custom established solely for the fleecing of Americans. Not one tourist in twenty frequents the Paris theaters, yet the theater? tipping is the most offensive ferm of the habit. The Parisian takes a cab for the theater. The legal fare is thirty cents for the trip. He tips the cab- man five cents extra. He draws up to the theater, and a dirty, officious boy or man on the sidewalks hastens, unasked, to open his cab door. The Parisian tips him two cenis, to get rid of him. On the sidewalk he is met by the volun- teer program seller. And then, inside, the ouvreuse claims him for her own. It is an old lady dressed in black, an usher we would call her, but with other duties—and prerogatives. Ordinarily she attends to the vestiaire, but ther2 are many theaters with separate cloak rooms, when the matter is more complicated. For example, last week I went to the Bouffes in company with an American just landed. The cloak-room woman hu‘ied us as we entered, on the Sround floor. . “ft is here,” she said. “This is tne place to put your coats: and: canes.” We gave them to her, paid and took our checks. Upstairs, on the first floor, the ouvreuse, before showing ts to our re. served seats, said, “You nave no vest'a re “No, it is downstairs.” “I hope, at leas: she answered, then, “that you will not for- get my little present.” “Madame, I will give you nothing, I have paid the cloak- rocm lady for that service.’ ‘And my lit- te benefice?" she sniffed, indignantly. Sarah Bernhirdt’s Experience. Sarah Bernhardt, several years ago, when whe assumed the proprietorship of the Ren- agissance, attempted to abol'sh the ouvreuse. Bhe installed uniformed ushers, in the American fashion, and put up notices that no tips ought to be paid to them. And yet the Paris public, in whose interest ske had made the mnovation, rose against it and cried: “Shame! Do you want to prevent a few old ladies mak‘ng their living? Do you want to take the bread out of their mouths?" There is a deal of social philoso- y in the remark ‘The same American who was so astound- ~ ed at the impudence of the auvreuse at the Bouffes that he recurred to the subject again and again in later copyersations,. marked to me that evening, as we sat eat- ing ices on the Boulevard, that “what .as- tonished him in France was the delightful freedom of the strcets {rom loafers. Are there no poor people?” he inquired, quite puzzled. Certainly there are less poor people because of tipping. The universal Paris concierge constitutes the best ex- ampie of the workings of this indirect poor- rate Ly which the alms-house system— which does not exist in France—is obviated in_a large degree. The American tourist comes in touch with the concierge, but scarcely realizes his importance in the social econcmy. The three millicns of natives in and around Paris live nearly altogether in apartment houses, unde: the “French flat system,” as we call it. Allowing an average of forty People to each house, there are 000. houses In and about Paris. Each has its ecneierge, or jantior, who lives rent-free, with a smali yearly salary from the owner. houses where the guests are constantly going and coming, and seek particularly to obtain a footing where the proprietor or manager is known to lack energy. A house of this latter kind is doomed. Abandoned to the rapacity of these fin de siecle ser- vants, {ts guests are harried, brow-beaten, insulted and intimidated into giving fees at every turn. When the waiters have work- ed it to the end, when they have frightened the public from its doors, they leave it to its fate and transport their little industry to some new field. These abuses, which may be looked for more or less in every European city, might disappear if the hotel proprietors—who often suffer heavily—were uided by the traveling public. It is the European public who have invented tips, maintain them and increase them yearly. For one economical or high-principled traveler who gives noth- ing there are always five who, though pro- testing, dare not face the trouble which they know lies before them as non-tippers. As a consequence, the pocr American on a cheap trip is- frightened, pained and irri- THE EUROPEAN TIPPER, ‘The iarger portion of the concierge’s living is made up in tips from tenants, however; sv much so that in nearly every case the owner of the house could cut the con- cierge’s salary off entirely, yet the con- clerge would not throw up his job. The Useful Concierge. Indeed, the salary paid by the proprietor is in the nature of a tip itself, in order that his concierge may not neglect his in- terests. The tenants tip the concierge for two sets of services, both performed more readily and consciertiouxly because of tips. The first is the regulation service, the re- celpt of letters, newspayers und packages, the arswering of callers’ inquiries, the cleani.g of the stairs and the like. The second set of services comprise the hun- dred little commissions which a well-to-do person may give to a dependent. Some- times the concierge does sewing, some- times he—or she—runs ercands, makes bachelors’ coffee, cleans up rucms, makes beds, carries up coal—and so on indefinite- ly. Poor young men, sewing giris and others who inhabit the mansards profit immense- ly by the presence of the concierge, and yet tip next to nothing. The families In the house tip in accordance with their so- cial preter and the height of th flocr from the ground. If the conci well done, the tinping is g sdly done, the tipping stor it is something of a tax, an‘ dion,” as our yrumbiing tourists to be oblized to fee this spec yet the st of it: ystem goes on constantly family life, which or hear of. The see maid-of-ail- work has her saiary, but she counts al- mest as tauch upon the presents made by her cmployer’s tradesmen. Taere is no use to ask about the morulity of this habit. It' has arisen owt of competition, like the free lunch system in America, every one admits that the French fa Ss not suffer much in c nce. of the house could hardly “commissions” sho-tld she set cut to do the marketing herself. - . The tom is so well es the rate of commission is ti: iable—the “sou in the fran: claim that ft is a tax paid by themselv Servants cling tenaciously to 't by besides affording exerci-e to their in The Walter Knows § tion, hopes and ingenuity, it xives an cut- Jet to the gambling instinct, which is uni- versal, and so adds variety and pleasurable excitement to their lives. Servaats’ wages are less in consequence, because all things eqvalize themselves in the end, but ser- vants’ manners are improved, as may be seen by any tourist from America with eyes. The mistakes of Americans in giving tips abroad arise from their not being accus- tomed to things which are traditioral in European ugage. For example, they do net always distinguish between servants, who alone receive tips, and employes and managers, who are not servanis. Thus I have seen an American family, driving away from a Paris boarding house, delib- erately putting a few franes into the hand of the proprietor who accompanied them to the door. “Did he take it?” you will ask. Yes, he tock ft, not wisking to hurt any one’s feelings, I suppose. Once in Vienna, hewever, I saw the very sympathetic clerk of Cook’s Tourist Agency greatly wounded by an American who offered him a gratuity for the service he was rendering him as a part of his business. In general, the dis- treticn is this. Servants receive tips, which are called by the Germans “drink money” and by the English and French “gratuities” and “gratifications.” An English Origin. % The origin of the word tip is accounted for as follows: In an old English tavern a receptacle for small coin was fixed in a con- spicuous place, over which appeared the legend, “To insure promptness.” What- ever was put into the box was divided among the seryants. Other taverns fol- lowed the example, and soon the three words were written, “T.I.P.,” everybody krowing what they meant. Then the punctvation marks were dropped, and the word “tip” was born. You do not tip the clerk who waits on you in a shop. But you do tip the barber who shaves you and curls ybur. mustache. This is the finest point of the division line. In all the hotels and boarding houses of Europe the employes are fed, lodged aad sometimes laundered, and receive besiJes fixed salaries, which fluctuate, as in ail other industries, according to the laws of supply and demand. ver much cr Iittle they receive, these servants are much better off than the Soe, because the principal expenses of life. food and lodging, being assured to-theém,*their sai- ary of from $10 to $0 a month Is so much surplus. These hotel and--bearding house servants divide themselves into two classes —() those who have no contaet with the guest, (2) and those who have The first category comprisesthe “em yes,” strictly eo called—cellar men, laun- esses, cooks, lamp tender$;"silver polish- ers and the like. These actgpt the wages offered them, and are contént therewith according to the laws of supply and de ™mand. They sre paid for doimg so much daily work. The case is very different with the second category, of those who come into personal contact with the guest. They are waiters, .wine openers,’ chambermaids, shoe blackers and trunk lifters, elevator beys, pages, and so on. These also have fixed salaries, ranging from $10. to $20 a menth, but they make very little of this item. The ceiebrated pourboire is their ob-« jective. They are after this, and in the struggle grave abuses frequently arige. When Tkey ‘Are in Control. Servants of this stamp do not seek em- ployment in houses because they are known to pay high wages. They prefer e tated to be assailed on all sides by a dozen beggars or sand-baggers whom he has never seen or noticed. Yet when ne comes to leave they will be ranged like a b. talion on the doorstep. They know the hu man heart—tnese servants. You dare not Dass them. Time and again I have watched, with mingled pain and amusement, the depar- ture of a touring family. All work seems to cease in the hotel at this hour. You will ring in vain for the chambermaid or the waiter. Every one is at his post—which is the front door! Nobody will budge. The family is going away! Indeed, the travelers’ tales about myste- rious cabalistic signs being marked on trunks and bags are not the mere invention ef an overheated fancy. Such marks, when they exist, assure the unsuspecting owner of that baggage very bad attendance at the So Nice and Clean. next hotel. They say: “This person does Until these signs have been ef- y time and wear you will find all s on the continent of Europe hor- Hotel proprietors complain as loualy of this new type of paciou: wing, bold and anarch: vant. > p the universal » Is not, then, as the the whole wrong from the beginain e question been discussed and “Lin Bu- rope. The general conclu that while the tipping system leads t> vast abuses, the lack of tipping would be even more a'ses- trous to the comfort of ihe traveling pub- lic. The action of the tip seems to he like that of certain drugs. morphine— which, in physiological doses, stimulate the circulation and the nervous system and in- duce an admirable state of bien etre, but which in toxic doses stun and kill. A Hotel Man's Views. The hotel proprietors of Switzerland de- servedly occupy a very high position in their world. They have more than 658,- 000,000 of francs invested in hotel property in their little iand of mountains and val- leys. This is what the manager of one of the first of the Swiss hotels said recently to the manager of one of the leading New York establishments: “You say you have finer hotels than we have, but that the at- tendance is frightful. You cannot get ser- ints. Let your servants accept tips, and uu will find their ways change rapidly for the better.” -“Tips must be given,” he went on to ex- plain. ‘The question has been many times studied—several times by the most compe- tent men in our business. Why is it all Americans admire the European waiters, so clean and tidy in their white waistcoats and white ties? I have heard American ladies say a thousand times to their hus- bands when leaving: ‘Give an extra tip to such and such a one. He is such a nice, ciean and obliging boy!’ But if he were as greasy as the darkies who wait on you in America, would the charming American lady have thought of him? Look at our chambermaids, who contribute so much to our success! Are they not amiable? “How many times have ladies come to me and said: ‘You have such an excellent maid on my floor. She is so nice and punctual in everything. I should like to take her home with me!’ “How nice she looks in her white cap and apron!” continued the Swiss hotel man, with tears in his eyes. “Suppress her tip and treble her salary! Come back in two years and see the difference. She will be a different person. She will be ill-tempered! The house porter will be the same. Sup- press his tips, and he will put petroleum in the blacking, to clean the shoes more quickly. In two weeks your shoes will be worthless! The tip must stay. Otherwise, European servants will become as bad as those we hear of in America!” STERLING HEILIG. ——_> CHANGING SILVER INTO GOLD. A Chemical Test Which Has No Ap- pleation to the 16 to 1 Theory. From the Popular Scfence News. Prof. Emmons, one of the most skilled metallurgists in the country, claims that in the reduction of silver the molecules are 80 subdivided as to differ so materially from that metal that they can no longer be regarded as the same substance, but a new one, and apparently the parent of both gold and silver, or the raw material out of which, by a d‘fferent arrangement of mole- cules, either gold or silver is constructed. Working on this theory, he finds that this new metallic substarce can be aggregated into molecules of greater density than sil- ver, and precisely corresponding with gold in color, in weight, so as to answer to every test of the United States mint as gold. In fact, he says it is gold, though manufac- tured from silver, of as much purity and value as that ever obtained in any other way. With further experiments on a large scale he expects that the process of man- ufacturing gold from silver will -be very. materially cheapened. At present he gets about four ounces of gold from six of sil- ver. This would seem to indicate that the Present number of elements as well as our chemistry of metals woilld have to be re- vised, if Prof. Emmons is not mistaken in his experiments. ————_cee- ; Home Confidence: ‘From the Chicago Record. “If I should die, you would never get another wife who would look after you as I have done.” “No; not ff I could help it.” rs NAVY “LANDSMEN” Recruits in Unole Ban Service, and " Their Experiences. ON BOARD A EbEIING SHIP Then They Become’ Seamen. and Perhaps Reach a/Higher Rank. POWER OF DISCIPLINE GOOD MANY young Washington .men enter the United States navy, either @S apprentices or landsmen. -The ex- periences of the nava) apprentice have. often been re- lated with more or less accuracy, but the obscure lands- man has been cuffer- ed to pursue’ his boulder-strewn. path unnoticed and unsung. To use the Words of an old-timer in the navy, @ raw landsman,,so far as his im- portance aboard ship is concerned, is “eighteen pounds lighter than a strand of caulking oakum.” He is infinitely smaller. in degree than an apprentive boy of the third class, for the latter fs In the direct line of promotion, with good conduct and a fair modicum of brains, to the rank of warrant officer—boatswain, gunner, car- penter or sailmaker. The apprentice’s ca- reer rests In his own hands, and the glit- tering prospect always before the boy of becoming at some future time a gentleman of the quarter deck and a member of the steerage mess aft is a perpetual incentive to his ambition. No such roseate path can the landsman block out for himeelf. Nominally, the lands- man ts also in line of promoiion to the rank of warrant officer, but the frequency with which men who have not served us ap- prentices In the navy gain these prizes is about in the ratio of angels’ mundane visits. Apprentices are invariably given the preference in the distribution ef such commissions, and there are not a fifticth enough of these positions for the appren- tices who aspire to apply for them. The highest rate to which the landsman may uplift his humble gaze is that of a chief petty officer, and even this is a dizzy pinnacle which few succeed in sealing. It has happened that young men who have entered the navy as laudsmen have even- tually succeeded in capturing the prize of a pay clerk’s berth, but such cases are ex- ceedingly rare. Cn a Receiving Ship. The man who, too old to go in as an ap- prentice, wishes to enter the navy as a landsman presents himself for enlistment, under ordinary circumstances, on a re- ceiving ship. These- receiving ships (or “guardos,” as they are-known among men- of-warsmen forward) are -stationed at the navy yards in Brockiyn, Boston, League Isiand, Pa., and at Mate Island, new San Francisco, Cal.\: In_ special 8, when the crew of @ war vessel some considerable distance removed from a receiving ship has “beet largely de pleted by reason of transfers and di Arges, ission 1s granted the com- ; to shtp men in whatever port the vessel may at home or abroad. ctice accounts in large measure number ‘of foreigners in the United Si naval service. The babel of tongues which may be heard under the to'gailant fo’c’sle of dn American man-of- war is curiously bewildering—the China- man, the ftallan, the Greek, the West In- dian’ negro, the “greaser"* beach-comber of Mexico, the phlegmatic German, the vo- ciferous “lime-juicer” Briton, the mercurial Frenchman, and outnumbering all the other nationalities except the Amer (occasionaily, indeed, elosely crowdir native-born men), the blonde, hardy, sailer- like Scandinavian. Men of all these nativi- ties are clustered together among them- selves in various corners of the fo'c’s speaking the language of their various re- spective countries and exhibiting a clan- nishness singular enough to see with tne ne gaze that takes in the American flag floating at the ship’s stern or mizzen. happen to be, whether The young man who goes aboard a receiving ship to enlist as a iands- man is required to pass a medical ex- amination of the most severe character. The rigid physical examination to which candidates for enlistment in the United States navy are subjected is not nearly so exacting as the examination through which would-be naval recruits are put. The slight- est indication of a lack of hardiness, or the smallest symptom, which may be quite un- known to the candidate himself, of an ail- ment which is likely to disqualify him for all kinds of service in the future, is suffi- clent cause for his instant rejection by the examining surgeon. Twenty-five men out of thirty-five who present themselves for enlistment are rejected on accaunt of phy- sical imperfections. Having withstood this test, and exhibited a moderate degree of intelligence in an- swering off-hand questions put to him, the landsman {s enlisted by the executive offi- cer of the receiving ship for a term of three years’ service, “landsman” being his official title, the recruit to be known by such title until he is promoted. His uni- form and all the appurtenances and run- ning gear of the naval tar are dished out to him by the paymaster’s clerk or yeoman, assisted by the ‘Jack-o'-the-dust,” the pay- master’s “striker” or “dog robber,” the cost of which, usually amounting to be- tween $30 and $40, is charged to the pay ac- count of the recruits whose pay is yet to be earned. Some Early Experiences. The new man must pay for his kit -of clothing and other gear-out of his $16 per month, and he is not allowed to go ashore until he has paid for it, unless he deposits with the paymaster an amount sufficient to cover the cost of the outfit. Paymasters, however, are not over-burdened in recel ing and noting such deposits, for in an ag- gregation of 100 newly enlisted landsmen one would ordinarily ,have considerable difficulty in collecting 30 cents. Enlisted and in diue: jacket uniform,. the landsman is turned loose upon the “guardo.” He feels strange in his new garb, and fancies that all hands, fore and aft, cn the receiving ship are carefully watching his hands and feet, He dares not look the old-timers in, the face for fear of detecting a lurking grip e2verely feels the contrast. between ,his “deep-water” ex- terlor and his profoupd. Ick of all nauti- cal knowledge, except the manipulation of a flat-bottomed skift én the yellow waters of quiet inlets. E In truth, he is suffi¢fently unhappy for a time; but his unhappiness soon begins to be tempered by the joy of the three whole- some and substantial meals to which h may sit down at the piping of ‘‘mess-gear. The United State? belng 2 country where the military spirit does not flame with very great brilliancy dw times of peace, it may reasonably be en for granted that the man who enlists gn the army or navy is not particularly -fed when he takes the step. And go thedandsman enjoys his receiving ship meals; and ‘well he may, for his appetite is not to be pleasured by the like after he assigned to' a ship. é A landsman fs not upon a feceiving ship for any great len of time—s¢areely ever longer than a month—but while he is there he earns his 50 cents per. diem. Every day he is Iikely to be assigned as a member of a ‘working party which per- forms such light little chores as cleaning navy- yard sewers and shoveling a few") tons of coal, under the direction of a “gvardo” bo's’un’s mate (‘flat foot” is the technical name forward for the “shell- back” species), whose twenty or thirty years of service on the .“‘wind-jammers” of the old navy have not improved the-mellt- flucus tone of his voice-nor the quality of his temper. Life on a Sen-Going Vessel. But the full joyousness of the career opening before the landsman is not made manifest to him until he is sent, along with a batch of other recruits, with his “ditty bag” on his shoulder to the sea- 15 going ship that in all likelihood is to:be the scene of his hilarities and glooms dur- Ing the coming ‘three years. Recruits are sent to where war vessels in need of strengthered crews are lying, and they are almost always sent in charge either of a commissioned or a war- rant officer, unless some trustworthy, old- time chief petty officer happens to be bound in the same direction at the same time, in which case the party is given into his charge. < When a batch of recruits steps over the gargway of a man-of-war all hands among the men forward gather around to inspect the newcomers, and each of the recruits, in his distressingly new and spick and span blue-jacket uniform, feels, as he stands waiting for his name to be called by the officer of the deck, that he is the individual object of the general leer which is the in- varlable welcome of the raw men by the old-time “‘flat feet’ who are to be their future directors. The landsman Is given a lecker in which to stow his gear, his sta- tion for general, fire, collision and abandon ship quarters is pointed out to him by the chief master-at-arms; he is provided with a ship's number, by which he is to be more frequently known to the officer in charge of his division than by his name—and he firally finds himself im the vortex of man- of-war life. Not only by the officers and the petty officers, but by the seamen and ordinary seamen with whom he is immediately as- Sociated, the freshly recruited landsman is man-of-war, but if-the right stuff is in him he has the eventual chance of attaining a position tre~ike of which in remuneration and dignity he would probably strive for in vatrrash6re. oo “ WHY SHE WAS ANGRY. The Strut Lady’s Experience With a Penny-in-the-Slot_ Machine. Frem the Boston Globe. It was noon at a quick-lunch restaurant, and nearly every place was occupied by a hungry individual, when a stout lady en- tered. The only spot she saw vacant was at the-end of a counter, and here there stood a penny-in-the-slot weighing machine. As she was in a hurry, she concluded to stand on the scales, after having satisfied herself that they would not operate and re- Veal her weight unless she put in a coin, and this was far from her intentions. She was short and plump, and the plat- form of the scales brought her up to a very convenient height at the counter. She or- dered her lunch, and, after looking around at the dial of the machine to reassure her- self that she was not being weighed, she Legan her gustatory enjoyment. Just then two rather sporty chaps came in. They noticed the woman on the scales at once. She had apretty face, if not an attractive figure—or, perhaps, one should supposed to know absolutely nothing. He is regarded as a sea infant, to be led in hand by a nurse. But the nurses in the navy who are charged with the guidance and instruction of green men are nut nota- ble for sweetness of disposition. They are petty officers, whose raiing badges on their watch arms have probably n acquired orly after years of submission to rigid discipline, and they naturally fail to see why they should “make any bones” about visiting the same sort of discipline as they themselves underwent upon the new men. Learning the Signals. ‘The landsman, of course, knows the mean- ing of none of the bo'sun’s mate's pipings or the ship's bugler’s trumpetings—for ev- erything on a man-of-war is done at the signal ard to the music of pipe or bugle, to the sudden sound of which all hands must attend—and the sharp words which he is competed to endure at the hands of his immediate superiors before he has mastered these calls are sufficiently maddening ty force him to exert himself to grasp their significance with all possible speed. If, for instance, at the passing of the word “Up all hands!” in the gray dawn of morning, the laidsman unwittingly les in his hammock—which must be lashed and stowed away in the nettings within seven minutes after the word has been passed—- he is hailed by the master-at-arms before the officer of the deck, and punished in ac- cordance with the report which the latter makes to the commanding officer. The dread of the “report book,” which is kept by the ship's writer, and’ which re- ccrds every trivial slip which in his ignor- ance the green man may make, soon teach- ¢s him to exhibit an alertness which in all likelihood he has never been called upon te display ashore. @he work which falls to the lot of the landsman aboard a man-of-war Goes not demand any considerable amount of brains, but it does cull tor a whole lot of niuscle and “elbow grease.” The landsman does the heavy work of the ship, and the dirty He is intrusted with no greater re- ponsibility than is entailed in the t » the scaling of the shi ning of brasswork. But if each one of these tasks, as well as the many others of a similar character which he is called up- on to perform, is not Gone to the satisfa tion of the inspecting officer, down goes his Say, as well as.an attractive figure, for the ga certainly attracted attention from its size, é “I'll bet you the dinners she weighs over 200,”" said one of the sports. T'll go you,” replied the other. “But how can we tell which wins? The machine isn’t working. We'll soon make it work,” said sport No. 1. “Here, boy,” he added, speaking to a youngster who was selling papers, “you go and put a cent in the slot of that machine with the woman on it, and I'll give you a dime.” Let's ‘see yer dime, wordly cautiousness, “There yéu are,” and the sport put the money in the urchin’s hand. The latter found his task an easy one, for the victim was very busy getting outside of a dish of soup. She did not see the boy put the penny in the slot, but several others did, and the joke went around the counter almost as quickly as the hand on the weighing machine went around to the figure marking the woman's avoirdupois. “You pay for the dinners,” said sport No. 1, triumphantly to No. 2. “That's right,” was the response, and in went their orders. The fat lady wiped off her chubby mouth, laid down the napkin, and took up her pocketbook to get the wherewithal to pay her check, when her eye fe!l on the dial of the machine. “Great heavens!’ sa‘d she, half aloud, “the hand has moved Yes, it had moved a long distance, and stood honestly and steadily pointing at 211. She glanced around the counter, and, per- ceiving that she was the focus of all the said the boy, with eyes in a row of smiling faces, she was so mad that she rushed out of the restaurant and forgot to pay her bill. ++ A Story of Bad Luck. From the Chicago Record. Here is another story showing how to account for bad luck. A man was shaking dice in a cigar store. He lost. “No wonder,” said a bystander. wearing an opal. You never w luck.” This set the man to thinking. Four days later he slipped in getting off a street car and sprained his ankle. “You're have any name upon the dreaded report beok. Taken to the Mast. In company with other petty delinquents, he then undergces the undesirable operation of being taken “to the mest” (“going up to the stick,” the sailors call it), which con- sists in being addressed in no suave or un- certain tones by the commanding officer, who comes from his cabin to the mainmast to perform this little ceremony. If the new man’s offense has been a trifle more than trivial—if, for cxample, he returns to the ship drink from shore leave, or hap- pens to “break his liberty,”—i.e., overstays his leave eshore—his appearance at the mast fs likely to be no laughing matter for him. He ts confronted by the immediate pos bility of learning how it feels to repuse in the “brig” (piace of confinement, generally forward on the berth deck) in double irons for from five to ten days, or even of gath- ering direct knowledge as to the workings of « summary court-martial, which may sentence to thirty days’ confinement in double irons in a dark room, on a diet of bread and water, except on every fifth day he may be given a full day’s ration For minor offenses, due to ignorance or to carelessness, the green man is initiated into the mysteries of the “class list” sys- tem of the na The class list, thoroughly devised and rigidly adhered to, impresses the recruit perhaps more than anything else which he may stumble apon in the “outfit.” The figure a man-of-warsman cuts upon the class list decides whether he is to be allowed to go ashore or not, and whether he is to be permitted to draw his pay or not. ‘There are five classes. The “truly good” men for’ard are always to be found in what is called the “special first’ class. Every month they are entitled to draw all of the pay they have on the ship's books, and they This decided him. He gave the pin to a friend who was on the board of trade, and who was too hard-headed to entertain any fool notions about the number 13, or black cats, or cross-eyed girls with red hair. Nevertheless, when this board of trade man lost over $10,000 on Wheat he bezan to worry. He didn’t care much for the pin anyWay, and so cne day when a young man in his office admired the “fire” in the stone, he said: “Take it along, if you like i The young men overwhelmed him with thanks. Then he waited, with guilty knowledge, to see what would happen to the young man. He did not have to wait long. The very next week the employe was taken ill, and he missed four days at the offic The board of trade man was troubled in conscience, so he told his young friend about the opal pin and the superstition at- taching to it, and the employe, after delib- eration, decided that he would give the pin to his girl. The opal did very rapid and effective work after it became the property of the young woman. On the second day after she began to wear it she ignited a cu in attempting to light the gas. The curtain Was destroyed, and the young woman burned both of her hands in attempt extinguish the blaze. The young man who had given the stone to her felt called upon to apologize. “Perhaps it was that opal 1 gave you, said he. “You know, an opal is supjx to carry bad luck with it. I didn’t tell you, because I'm not superstitious.” “I'll not wear the dreadful thini ay longer,” said she. Jace? So she didn't. She gave it to her brother, who scoffed at the suggestion that a spark. ling, glassy little stone could wield any in- fluence, good or bad. Nevertheless, when he started to Cincinnati and the train ran off the track, and he was tossed half the Jength of the car, he became co: erted. “I'll not give it to anybody else to be a may go ashore on liberty every day that the ship is in port. The man on the first class (minus the “special”) may also draw all of his money, but he is only allowed shore leave every other day. When a man gets his name on the second class he ma} only draw one-ha!f of his “monthly money and must remain aboard a month before he is accorded permission to stretch his legs ashore (“on the beach”). The third-class man gets one-third of his pay and stays aboard two months, and those on the fourth class—the men upon which are re- garded as a bad lot by the officers—draw one-quarter of their wages and enjoy them- selves aboard ship for three months before they may put foot on the beach. Disadvantages of Shore Leave. The fourth class is an accruing affair, so that a man who at the outset of his naval service commits an offense which relegates him to this class, then gets himself into trouble again before he has made expia- tion for his first “break,” and repeats this proceeding several times—such an unfor?u- nate is lkely to be condemned to the fourth-class list until the expiration of his enlistment. There is a regulation, however, which provides that men in this position must be allowed to go ashore for twenty- four hours once in every three months. It often happens that “old-timers” pur- posely commit some offense that gets their names on the fourth class in order that they may save their money by not going ashore. The man, it has been observed, who puts in his cruise on the fourth class is the man who has the “big pay day” at the end of it. But it often happens that men who are chronically on the bad class are “beached” when they thoroughly reveal their uncontrollable characters — that is, they are dishonorably discharged and sent adrift. . i The landsman at sea will not find iis naval fare particularly attractive unless he has a naturai fondness for “salt horse, “cracker hash” and various other luxurl peculiar to men-of-war. In port, however, fresh previsions are bought by the messes. But the landsman’s mess fs never burdened with Gainties, “government straights,” as the rations issued by the paymaster are termed, being his general meed. If the landsman exhibits brightness and address he will probably be promoted to the rate of an ordinary seaman, and from that even to the rate of seaman, paying $24 a month, before the end of his first cruise. It is rare that a naval recruit climbs higher then this during his first emlistrrent, although, if he is a man of education and a good clerk, he may at the very, outset be made a ship's writer of the first, second or third class, paying respec- tively $40, $35 and $30 per month. Handy With the Pen. If he js an especially capable man with his pen he may even capture a yeoran's billet. There are three yeomen aboard a man-of-war—the paymaster’s yeoman, the equipment yeoman, wo isa sort of private secretary to the exccutive officer, and the engineer yeoman, who does the clerical work of the engineer's department. These positions pay $00 per month, and the mn holding them are chief petty officers. The man who starts as a landsman m: become a chief. petty officer of the line dur- ing his second enlistment. He then dis- cards the b!ue jacket and bell-bottom trous- Jonah,” said he. “I'll sell it to a jewelcr.” So he went to the jeweler and said: “What'll you give me for this opal The jeweler looked at it and said: “That isn’t an opal; that’s a cat’s-eye.” THE NEW GAS METER. The Penny.in-the-Slot Machine Filling a Public Want. From the New York Journal. The peiny-in-the-slot gas meters have not yet recched New York, but they have ¢pread within the last three or four years throughout London, and have tound their way into every large city in England. ‘The reports of meetings of gas companics and of corporations owning gas works that are published there from day to day show that the demand for them continues almost unabated. During the past year alone one London gas company has sent out more than 30,000 of these meters. A few months ago the demand was so very great, and the meter-makers so little abie to meet it, that the company had to discontinue sup- plies for a while. Now the demand is as great as ever. Arother London company— the South Metropolitan—has cent out dur- ing the past four years no less than 50,000 of thie class of meter. In Manchester the penny-in-the-slot meters are being sent out at the rate of from 800 to 1,009 a monfh, and in Liver- pool, Birmingham and other northern cities the demand is equally great. These machines, which are really a boon to small householders, and a correspond- ing trial to small dealers in wood and coal and burning oil, are now being made proof against human guile. The gas companies through long experience have become wary, indeed. In the new meters French pen- nies will no longer work the oracle. The penny which used to be attached to a string and withdrawn when value had been received is now irrecoverable, for the string is cut by a concealed blade. The sticky penny, which used to keep the gas “on, cannot effect a fraudulent lodgment either, and among the English stot patrons now there 1s nothing fer it but dull, prosaic rectitude until their ingenuity can devise some fresh devices for “beating the ma- chine.” i A Valuable Suggestion. From Harper's Bazar. ~ ers and wears the brass buttons of the chief gunner’s mate, the chief boatswain’s mate, the signal quartermaster, or even of the chief master-at-arms, positions which pay frcm $5) to $i0 per month. To summarize it requires a pretty knotty young man, physically and mentally, to lead a forecastle existence on a United States She—“How can I get over the fence?” Irishman—“Come on this side an’ climb over these stones.” ‘An Eeho From Shiloh COUNTY TREASURER UPTERBACK RE: THE BATTLEFIELD. From the Nonpareil, Council Bluffs, Tow County Treasurer A. Utterback of ¢ Towa, has long been one of the leading citizens of Mills county, and since the days of his service for the Union cause has labored industriously at his home in Rawls township, with the reeult that be has not only surrounded himself with almost all the comfotts heart could wish, bi wn into the esteem of his fellow men. and standing, therefore, made his electic Coanty Treasurership easy. His work ‘Treasurer, however, confining. © aid from an active outdoor Mfe on th duties of th wood as er His popalartty to the Count ing as far treasurer's to run down im bealth and Depaty T Williams’ the efficacy 0 stant advice *o his empl to the effect that be should use th Dr Pink ¥ Mr. Utter? r, ly Mr, Utterback conse used several boxes, he is ing statement to your co “Have I used Pink Pilix? eatinue to ase them just £0 me as they do now. piletary medictn slastie over this particular sented to try it, and I can assure has been great. “I was a member of Company F, 1 fantry, end saw my first day's service tle of Shi The cxmpaten before later the siege of Vicksburg w in the service a can readily imagine, w at times but po days. In my case, army diarrhooa Tt has been the burden of my life years, bat at last I have found sou quer it, The Pink Pills are a suc as I have no doubt t them.”” rou the benefit h Towa Tr were gremly expo: red for dari for over thir hing to con in my cave will be with all wh The reporter afterward called upoa W: corn, the popular druggist, and fom bi the Information that Dr. Willtams’ have reached @ most sarprising » But of all the cures,” that of Treasurer Utte remarkable, and, at the same ifying. Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills for Pate given to the public as an unfaili and nerve restore arising from a watery shattered nerves, The pil ers, or will be sent post p 50 cents a box, or xix bor, never sold in bulk or by the Dr. Williams’ Med! MOS we are now loot bullder ne “Make a change. 1 elephone 1oy2 or send to 514 10th st—and a Yalu Laundry wagon will call for you bundle. It NOVEL IMPORTATION METHODS, How It Hrppens That Jaganese Fans and icks Are Se C1 From the Jewelons’ Review, It has often been a matt Japancse marufactu ese manufact could The small fans < while the 1 the same price per bundle. When one examines either of these p ucts and specul: upon ihe amoy t to makc any quantity, the natural inferé the well-known smallness of 2 expl sfic rold at such low sold at a cent . Such skilled v get but a trifle mor for ther services, 2 e less s more mechanica comm tance that to our western ideas credibly Bu dollar a wee if pit seems 1 es of t are that Indi s must be found. There is the' articles mentio! this it must be a good piece away, and that, course, freights would give @ e in this merket to articles rely without cost in the orient import of the 1 e the most c t on their long jouraey they and here is where r not only work their € duty. Packed vases are many tho! the use and by this as merchandi much “packing. J: There is a fai in which there are two twin five years old and resemble ¢; ther marvelously that only the mother can tell which is Gladys and which is Grace. On Saturday night just before tedtime the mother issued the order for baths. The older children took theirs, and along about ® o'clock it was the turn of the twins. They were undressed and waiting. The mother took Gladys into the bath room aud gave her a thorough scrubbing. Then she allowed the mite to play in the water for a few moments, and after that put her on the rug, dried her, powdereu her and put her nightie on. Just at tiis time the grocery boy and the mother had to run downstairs take charge of the provisions. After had put everything away she came back, grabbed up a twin and took her to th bath room.*The litle girl did say much, After she was bathed she searmper ed back to her bed room. There was a whispered consultation be tween the twins, and then they both began to laugh as loudly as they could. “What are you youngrters laughing at? not asked the mother, as she came into the room. “Nothing,” they both protested between flcor in merriment, and didn’t give sister any.” ‘you gave me two baths —+e¢- Folled, From the Detroit: Tribune. ‘And did you lynch the miscreant?” “N answered the leader of the in- furiated mob. “He took refuge in ar apartment house and the janitor wouldn’! let us in. He was afraid we would track mud on his floor.” . a highly esteemed Cayuga Co. N.Y the Dyspepsta from which T have su pt the mow remedy called Stuw « Dye Taulets, 8 ing them I have bad po at all aft ting and again after long years CAN SLEEP WELL. Rev. F. 1. Bell, Weeds- ¥.. formerly Idsila, € rt's Dyspepsia Tablets is ® remarkatle eom- dy, not only because it ix a certs for all forms of indigestion, Wut Leeause ft seems to net as thorcughly in old chronic eases of psi ns well ai in mild attacks of indigestion Hons has dyspepsia siimply because th; ed, all it wants is a harmless, digest the food and thus give a he success Of thix peculiar Weak or how uu ax be, Stuart's 1 Tablets will di works or not. and energy is ouly to the st ch but fo every organ in the body. A trial of this splendid me: ye wil’ convince the Must skeptical that Dyepeprin all ston ach troubles can be cured. The tabiets prepared hy the Stuart Chemical Co. lich. tut so popular hak the remedy be Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets can now be 2 any drug store at 50 cente per packaxe. ook «a stoumnch diseases free. The undisputed leader dry line is the Yale Laund: 10th st. *Phone 1092.