Evening Star Newspaper, September 26, 1896, Page 14

THE “EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 26, 1896-TWENTY-FOUR PAGES. “The first public building lighted by gas remarked an old citizen, “was the Metropolitan Hotel, then known as Brown's Hotel. The occasion was a grand one. he President and the cabinet were “ffivitéd to be present,as were also the mem- bers of the Senate and the House of Rep- resentatives. Though the illumination was @ success in every particular there were many who doubted the practicability of the new iiluminant. Crowds of people congre- gated in the immediate vicinity of the hotel and the occasion was made an interesting one. “The gvests of the hotel did not relish the innovation and some of them, thiaking that there was danger in it, took rooms at neighboring hotels. There had been con- siderable experimenting going on before the gas burned exactly as it should and or two persons had been suffocated it, though not in that hotel. There an impression that there was great danger of the gas escaping from the pipes, and this was true to a great extent, for) the con ions were then necessarily crude irst gas burners were rather comp! affairs, and many of the guests sent for the hotel employes regularly every “Aight to see that the was properly turned oat before they would risk going to sleep. ‘The gas burners had no check on them and many is the person who turned on a full flow of gas in turning out the flame. Some of these same hurners are in use stiil in some of the older houses in this cit and are today as dangerous as they were those days. In this connection, I am re- the great things promised for the illumination tower on the top of the rotunda of the Capitol. If you will read the Speeches made in Congress, when the appropriation was asked for to construct the same, the exaggeration appears. “Very laughable at this time. It was claimed that the top of the dome could not only be itself seen, but that it would illuminate all the immediate -section of the city. ‘In brilliancy,” said a promi- nent South Carolina member, who urged the appropriation, ‘th s nothing that I can cempare it to that which would be made if the light of all of the large planets and a thousand of the brightest stars added were turned into one great lamp." * te * * * “For change, for canaries and other bi aid an experienced raiser of bird: nothing is better food than the vari eus kinds of grasses which are now going to seed. Around any grass plots can be found grass which has gone to seed. ‘This is a natural food for birds at thi season of the year, and it should be freely given them. The birds will relish the change very much, and it will improve them in plumage and song. They are tired of the ordinary seeds, which are good enough when there are no others, but now seed of every kind is sion, and needs only to be picke ‘The pepper grass is now in full seed, and it is a great bracer for the feathered pets, and € ly for e Birds like green stuff at all times, but are st cially fond of grass seeds of any kind. My experience is that no mistake can be made, “and that a bird never eats any seed that it does not like and that is not good for it.” ee es Said a leading auctioneer: “Though there is a recognized scarcity of money, it has not so far affected some branches of our business. During the past two months we have sold, in this city, $25,000 worth of bi- cycles. Other “houses have also sold a great number. I kept a careful lookout while the sales were going on, and my ob- servation w: that not over two in each hundred bicycles sold were bought for Lesine purpo: They were all bought for pleasure. “These sales were all for cash, and the money was paid down immediately. It was Somewhat of a surprise to us that so many bicycles could be sold here, where there are so many sold in the regular way, but the people would have them, and are hourly asking for more. And they are go- ing to get them, too. The regular bicycle dealers say that their business has not been materially affected by the $25,000 expended through us, which is one of the many very remarkable things in connec- tion with the growing use of the silent stee kK KKK ough the army has changed in many observed an army officer connected ary general's department, is the same as it has The soldier is allowed Tt with “the been for years. twelve ounces of bacon or twenty ounces of salt or fresh beef ts also allowed one pound and two ounces of soft bread or flour each day, twelve ounces of hard bread, or twenty ounces of corn- meal per day. To every hundred rations is given fifteen pourds of peas or beans, ten pounds of rice or hominy, ten pounds of green coffee or eight pounds of roasted or ground coffee, twenty-four ounces of tea, fifteen pounds of sugar, four quarts of vinegar, three pounds and twelve ounces of salt, and four ounces of pepper. “The soldier {s\ therefore, as you will see, well fed. The United States is not only particular and liberal as to the supply, but goes a step further and says t the bread skall not be eaten until it is cold, and that soup must be boiled at least five hours. The soldier 1s not, however, re- quired to ext all that is issued him as his ration, and but few of them could, if forced to do so, at least for any length of time. They are allowed to commute their ration and use this fund to buy such other things and delicacies as they desire. The sol- dier, however, is not strong on angel's food or things of that kind, but is content with his roasy beef or steak three times a week, with ham and eggs the intervening day: goed bread, coffee, tea. potatoes, cabbage, tomatoes and other vegetables in season. He eats to live, rather than lives to eat.” eee 208 “The shipbuilder of today imagines that he has far advance said a repre- sentative of a shipbuilding firm, “but whea he looks back he finds that he has in real- ity made but little progress in the matter of proportions over the origiral ship by Noah forty centuries ago. The lines laid down in the construction of Noah’s ark are followed today in the best examples of shipbuilding. Those proportions are that a ship should be six times as long as it is wide, and with a depth one-tenth of its lepgth. The best authority gives the meas- urement of Noah's ark as 300 cubits in length, 50 cubits in breadth, with a depth of 20 cubits. “Though the cubit varies in different parts of the world, the English cubit, which Is eighteen inches, prevails in most coun- tries. All kinds of changes in_propor- tions have been made since Noah built the ark, but shipbuilders, to get the best re- sults, have been compelled to go back to these proportions. Nearly all the flyers now on tFe ocean in the passenger traffic are built on the lines of the ark. Ship- buiiders thought they would improve on these proportions and have buiit thou- sat ds of ships since on different lines, but they have been forced to return to the original lines to get the best results. “The ark’s lines are also followed today in the matter of decks or stories, if you may cath them such, and the best ships here have three decks, or stories, upper, lower and middie. All of this goes to prove the assertion that there ts nothing “new under the sun, at least In shipbuilding. ‘The cigar-shaped boats for which so much was promised, where the length was ten and even more times as much as the width, Have failed to fill the bill.” * * ee & “Don’t buy a small-eyed horse unless you need a stupid horse or an unruly one,” volunteered a horse dealer who has been many years in the business of trading in horses. I have never known it to fail that whcre a horse has a small protuberant eye he is a dangerous or use- less fool, and in the great majority of cases toth. Horse folks call such an eye @ buck’s eye, and they are a terrible good horse ta let alone. They are subject to fits of ter- rer, wild excitement, or they are dummies. In ‘either cuse you are better off without them, for no dependence can be placed in them. “They are, in the great majority of cases, absolutely dangerous; first, because they are liable at any time to become unusually active, and, second, because the time you depend upon them the most, such as in a storm, during an unusually hot spell or a dark ‘night, they become stupid and are able to fail at any time. What is known as a level-headed horse, be he a thorough- bred, trotter or road hosse, always has a large eye.” xk eK OX “Age brings out family likenesses or re- semblances as nothing else can or will,” replied a scientist who has given much at- tention to the study of physiology and its running mate, physiognomy. “In the ordi- nary life of a man or woman they are so much occupied by other things—that is, with the pleasures, passions or business of the world—that they do not show any of the lineaments of their parents. When old age comes on then, however, they show many of the resemblances of the parent stock. Take your own circle for illustra- tion. “If you are old enough to remember the parents of any of your friends or relatives yeu will notice that as they in turn grow old the family likenesses come out. There are, of ccurse, some people who have the general features and appearances of th parents, znd in many cases of both father and mother, though in most cases of but one, and that most likely of tne father, in their youth and through their life. There are others, though, who had none of the n.arked family likenesses until they reach- ed an advanced age. By this I mean fifty years or so. In many cases persons have Shown in tneir own faces none of the fam- ily likenesses until they reached very ad- vanced ages, and it grows more and more marked as they leave the milestones of age Lehind them.” ———— PHILADELPHIANS LIKE CATFISH. In Chowdered Form They Are Almost us Popular as Scrapple. “Philadelphia is the greatest catfish mar- ket in the world,” said Mr. L. H. Cogswell at the llth street wharf last Tuesday. Two colored men were busily engaged beheading and skinning a big pile of big catfish. They were remarkably adept in the operation. While one, armed with a sharp knife, would cut off the head cf a tish and slit its belly, the other would pick up the fish so treated and with a pair of nippers catch the skin deftly and pull it off. A Star reporter was watchirg the interesting operation and asked Mr. Cogswell where he found the de- mand for such a lot of catfish. “We dispose of a very large number of tke fish in this city, but when we have a surplus supply we ship it direct to Philadel- Philadelphia is the greatest catfish rket in the world. In the districts in- ed largely by the poor venders go about the streets with buckets on their heads selling the fish, and their cry is some- what similar to the familiar ‘co-al’ which we hear so frequently in Washington in neighborhoods similarly populated. Cat- fish are cooked in a variety of ways, but made into a chowder is the most popular form in which they are served. Nothing is more palatable than a well-prepared catfish chowder, and a great many people prefer a chowder made from the heads alone. You will notice that those two colored men who are cleaning the fish preserve a number of the largest heads. They have regular cus- tomers for the heads, which they will string in bunches and sell for probably as much as the same number of fish would bring. * “Yes,” continued Mr. Cogswell, “those two fellows are very expert at skinning catfish. The best points in the vicinity of Washing- ton for catching catfish are at Colonial Beach and Mathias Point. The fall season in the fishing business is now open. The varieties that will be handled are rock fish end white perch, both of which are very large and very. plentiful this year. Any plus that we have above the home de- mand in these varieties is shipped in Ice to New York and Philadelphia, but catfish are only shipped to the latter city.” > THEY WERE KIN, But the Traveler Did Not Care to Inquire Toe Closely. “The best joke I ever heard was on me,” said J. D. Buford to a Star reporter. “I was in Wise county, Va., in the heart of the mountains, in the southwestern part of the old dominion. I am a Virginian, and in common with all loyal Virginians, claim kinship to every one of my name in the state. The landlord saw my name on the register. ‘So yo" name's Buford?’ he satd. & “‘Uster be sum Bufords hyar.’ ‘Well, they must have been relations. My family are all Virginians.” “-yaas. Yo’ do favor ‘em. Reckon yo’ all air kin. Yo" look jess like Dave.’ “My father’s name was Dave.’ “Thar war three, Bob, John an’ Dave.” “‘] have uncles by those names. They are family names.’ “*¥o" sho’ air kin. I thought so, minit I looked at yo".” “You say the Bufords moved away?” ‘Not zackly.” “I thought you said they used to live here?’ ““Thet's what I sed. Yo’ see, John an’ Dave was Bob's sons. Th’ ole man was gwine ter marry agin, so th’ boys wouldn’ git th’ little propity th’ ole man had, an” they killed "Im, so we hung John an’ Dave.” “I did not trace the relationship or the family resemblance any farther.” passe A MOUNTAIN PRIMA DONA. She is Still Looking for an Engage- ment at $1,000 a Night. “I was traveling through north Georgta,” said a drummer to a Star reporter. “I stop- ped all night at a cabin, where a young girl kept me awake by singing. Her voice did not have a particle of music in it, and she had no idea whatever of time or tune, but she made the loudest noise I ever heard come from a human being. In the morning my host said “I seed in th’ county paper thet they paid primmer donners big wages.” “Yes, some of them get $1,000 a night.” “Waal, so I heerd. Now, I'll make it to yo’ inturest to tell how yo’ go,’bout gittin’ a job at it. Yo’ see, my darter hes mo’ voice than any one I ever seed. She's got the bigges" kin’ 0’ crap 0’ voice. We visit- ed Atlanty, whar my brother lives, an’ we went to hear one o’ them primmer don- ners, an’ sence then Mag’s practiced till she kin sing so she kin be heerd a plamb mile furder than thet yaller-haired gal at th’ show. A thousan’ dollars a night. Yo’ jess git her a job an’ we'll sho’ be squar "bout it.”” “I am still looking for a job for her.” eg Journalistic Reform. Frem the Chicago Tribune. “You talk about woman in journalism! How much better would the printing offices be if you women were running them, any- how?” “Well, they would have cleaner towels.” ——_——_-+e IHvstrating the triumph of mind over matter.—London Punch, BIRTH. OF A NEW PARTY THOMPSON BTREET BICYCLE CLUB. # new political party was born in Goat alley last night. It is the Shellocratic party, so named after the adoption of the plat- form, which provides for the immediate, independent, free and unlimited coinage of clam shells at the ratio of one clam shell to one geld dollar. It is also provided that clam shells shall be a full legal tender for all debts, public and private, and when re- ceived in payment of public dues they may be reissued. The convention was called to order by Gen. Windy Doolittle of Tramps’ Haven. Col. Barney O'Bryan of Windy Cove was appointed chairman of the committee on resolutions. He delivered an oration which completely hypnotized the convention. Strong men wept and waved their feet in the air. Col. O'Bryan was carried three times around the hall on the shoulders of excited delegates, amid cries of “Nominate him! Nominate him!” After each delegate had privately secured a promise of lucra- tive office for himself and al} his friends. the colonel was nominated by acclamation. The committee on resolutions contended that our ancestors used shells as money, and that the “dollars of the daddies” ought to be good enough to pay to gold bug cred- itors. The committee had intended to fix the ratio for free coinage of clam shells at 16 to 1, but Gen. Wheelshead pointed out the pleasing fact that the ratio of 1 to 1 would make just sixteen times as gnuch money for each delegate, and the Tatter ratio was adopted. This action was not unanimous, however. Maj. Dusty Rhodes got up, with tears in his eyes, and stated that he would be compelled to bolt the con- vention because the time-honored ratio of 16 to 1 had been rejected. Bolting came very natural to the major, as he has so often bolted his meals at lunch counters when the proprietor was lookin: the other way. He immediately left the hall by the side door, taking with him a can of beer which had been reserved for the committee on resolutions. Deacon Ketchum Fowle of Foggy Bottom also bolted because the convention declined te make watermelon seed legal tender for chickens. The deacon made his exit over the transom of the cloak room door, taking urder his arm, in an absent-minded way, a silk-lined overcoat, the property of a gold bug who attended the meeting to bribe the committee on resolutions. The convention also resolved that any cone refusing to swap a gold dollar for a clam shell of standard weight and fineness should be accursed and forever after in- cépable of holding any office of trust or profit under a Shellocratic administration. The cenvention also resolved that all for eign nations should be compelled to recei our clam shells on a parity with gold if they should refuse we should ever: ‘Written by M. Quad Yor The Evening Star. At the last re; ir meeting of the Thomp- gon Street Bicycle lub, President Toots an- nounced the following additional hints and suggestions for the benefit of members: “If George Washington had been a bikist he would have lied about how easy he could go up the steepesthill. “You may miss a dozen cable cars by six or eight inches} Mt you are bound to b> picked up sooner or later. If flung over the dashboard into thefpar you will be expected to pay fare. “A ‘century run**may mean one hundred miles or only three or four. It's better to make four and le the ninety-six. “Give your boy a brad-awl and let him puncture your tires at home, where you have the time and convenience for practice. This will be sport for him and a picnic for you. “No bicycle is eccentric. It is the rider who spins gayly along the street one day and gces bounding over the curb stones and horse blocks the next. “No pupil should give up before taking at least fifty lessons. If you can't make a go of it after that no one will blame you for feeling that the world ts ‘agin’ you and thirsting for revenge. “There are wheelmen who run over cows lying down on a country Toad, but as no prizes are offered, and as she is likely to get up when you are going over her, it’s dust as well to dodge her when you can. ; Time’is the Henler. The committee to whom was submitted the question, ‘Is there a cure for the bi- cycle face?” announced its readiness to re- port, and the chatrman read as follows: “Dis committee has given fo’ weeks to Investigatin’ de matter, an’ has cemsulted wid de best doctors at hand, an’ it has ar- reve at de conclusion dat dere am no cure fur de ailment except de lapxe of time. De bicycle face am a light stroke of paralysis. It seizes de rider whem be makes his first trip on de road an’ meets wid de fust beer wagon or movin’ van. De road may be two hundred feet wide, an’ de driver of dat vehicle de most keerful man in the world, tut de new bikest am skeart Jest de He emagines he am gwine to be ru an’ squashed to squash, an’ in his terror de wheel wobbles to de right an’ to de left an’ falls flat down, an’ when yo’ help him up yo’ don’t know him tur the same person. He's got de bicycle face on him. His eyes hang out, his mouf is half open, his com- plexion am de color of chalk, an’ he elther speaks wid a lisp or a stutter. Nuffin’ yo" kin say to him—naffin’ yo’ kin do—will take ingly lick the stuffing out of them, or | Way that awful lodk. If you kin keep him threaten to do it, anyhow, which might | cut of a lunatic asylum or prevent suicide have the same effect. It was also decided | 4n’ encourage nim to “continue fsidin’, to repeal “Gresham's law,” and all other | time will cure the ailment. It will begin to cemmercial laws and customs whatsvever | fade about de time he crosses six street in conflict with the system. Col. Barney O'Bryan said that Gresham was a “blarsted Englishman,” anyhow, and had no right to make laws for this country. The applause which greeted this sally of Cel. O'Bryan’s was so great that it awak- ened the policeman on the next block, who threatened to have the entire kyar tracks ahead of six cable kyars, an’ some day when he has dodged a Texas steer an’ outrun a runaway hoss his usuai look wili return to him an’ he will be all right foreber mot ‘In dis conneckshun we wish to frow out a hint to de large class of riders of boaf sexes who ride along wid de movf open. If fich pussons will chaw gum as dey ride dey Shellocratic financial assemblage | fF : sent to the work house unless a liberal | Wl soor find dat de mouf kin be kept shut “collateral” was immediately left in. his | 10F at least half de time. De result will be hands. This came near breaking up the | 4¢ Same if you chaw on a rag, but you don't meeting, as not a dollar of the present | Set auite so much fun out of it. legal tender kind could be rai: in the entire crowd. The roundsman was finally appeased by the promise of a fat office when the Shellocrats come in. Judge Weary Watkins, a delezate from the sunny seuth, raised an interesting questicn at this juncture. He wanted to know whether the government would riot deliver the legal tender clam shells at each man’s door every morning in the quantity desired. The judge said he had inflamma- tery rheumatism and his physician had forbidden him to dig for clams, on account of the dampness: He also stated that exer- Yicn of any kind made his heart beat too ‘ast. It was finally decided, after a heated contreversy that threatened to rend the convention asunder, that the government shovld do the whole business, except in case of any who might prefer to dig their own shells. The cenvention then adjourned sine beer, to meet again in Hogan's alley unless dis- persed by the police. ae HOW HE FOOLED THEM. The, Bicycle Dream. The commiitee to whom was submitted ion: “Caw the bicycle dream be were’ theh called upon for a re- port and it was forthcoming, as follows: “Di one hund: old an’ young, male an’ female—an’ d dat all passed frew de same exp De bicycle dream comes acter dé tngt lesson. You go home pushin’ on de sidewalk wid your right foot an’ your left foot. s&il de buildin’s seem to wobble as y pass ’em. You feel like ringin’ de bell an’ puttin’ on de brake when- eber you meet’a lamppost. You go to bed wid s+benteen Kinds of backache an’ fo'teen sorts ob lameness an’ yo’ no sooner drap off to sleep dan yo’ hear a yoice callin’ out, “Push on de rjght pedal—push on de left— look out fur at pgst—what yo’ doin’ agin Gat wall—don't be afraid—sot up straight— git up your nerve? Den tomes dé bicyc dream. It can’t help but come. Y¥. of runnin’ ober precipices, up tre an’ cliffs, cber men, women an’ chil'en. You see gal- jons of blood and dozens of corpses. You dream dat you jump on to your bike to flee away, but de bike kicks up behind an’ frows you off an’ a thousand men cry fur vengeance an’ hang you to the nearest lamppost. When you are gwine to be hung you yell out in your sl n’ skeer all de policemen off de block. When yo’ am hang- in’ you kick de footboard off de bed, frow all de bedelothes outer de winder, an’ if somebody don't hold you you'll smash up de furniture an’ tear down de house. Dat’s de usual bicycle dream, an’ no doctor am gwine to beat it. It gits wilder wid every lesson ycu take up to about seben, an’ de fust day you go out on de road is followed by sich a dream of rattlesnakes, precipices, runaway hosses, bad Injuns, pizened water- millyon3 an’ mad dawgs dat some dreamers am found dead in bed an’ de coroner calls A Diamond Smuggler a Shade Too Smart for the Officials. “Possibly there are no professional sus- pects,” said a treasury official to a Star reporter, “but there are many suspected. I was in that branch of the service a dqzen years ago, and I began to think before I had been on the docks a year that every traveler from abroad was prepared to steal and lie out of it if he had a fair charce. Of those who did that sort of thing as a business we had not a few, and one of them was the hardest old customer Iever krew. He used to make about four trips a year, and we suspected him from the first, but there wasn’t any good rea- | it heart disease. son for us making a search, and to suspect | , “While nuffin’ can prevent de bicycle Z 4 ream, it kin be rendered comparatively a man wrorefully is dangerous if it 18 | harmless. When a pusson am gwine to carried to the extreme. take a lesson he should ingaige de services “One time we felt pretty sure our man had diamonds concealed about his person, but we didn’t know, and we put up a jo! by getting a dock boy to make a grab at his watch and run with it. The boy did and a policeman caught him at the gate. The passenger was much excited over his loss and was anxious to have the watch, an enormcus gold one, restored to him at once. To this we objected until the po- iceman had opened it. The passenger pretested, and then the copper was curious. and he opened it and found its ‘works’ to consist entirely of uncut diamonds. Of course, that was bad on our friend, but somehow he got off, and the next we heard of him he was having fun with the other fellows at other ports. Then he came to us again, and we caught him with a lot in a collar box. “He had simply tossed them that way into his trunk and taken the chances on our not looking there for them. I am pretty sure, now, that once or twice, pos- sibly more times than that, he got by us in disguise, and once I'll swear he came over as a steerage passenger, and to save my neck I couldn’t recall the familiar features until he had got clear in the crowd and was lost. The last time I met him, which was ten years ago (I don’t know whether he is still at it or not), he came off the skip with the air of a man who waa not only under suspicion, but had lost his nerve. He had with him a dozen boxes at least, two big trunks and a whole string of bags and small receptacles “In each of the boxes were smaller poxes, and in the trunks were dczens of packages of ill-smelling old clothes and stuff of that kind. 1t was the most suspicious-looking lot I ever saw, and we were all sure that cur man was cn a big layout this time, for when we first recognized hinr he was dis- guised as a peddler. Well, we jymped him as a suspect at once and the first thing we did was to fish half a dozen diamonds, and beauties, too, out of his vest pocket. That was enough. Then we detained the whole outfit and took it where we could get at it. Such a job it was, too; hundreds of Eoxes to open; dozens of packages of bad smells to rifie; old clothes to shake out, and so on, for at least two Gays. We held him in custody in the meantime and gave him a search about every. twelve hours. “After it was all over and we were hot enough to throw the cuss off the dock, he gave us the laugh and told us he would thank us to restore his diamonds to him; and, by Jove, we had to do it, They were his, and he proved that he had been wear- ing them for ten years, and we had to sur-. render. He also requested his release, and told us he would see what it would cost us te detain a free. white citizen in the man- ner of his detention and a lot more like that, winding it all up with the suggestion that we could keep all the old bgxes and trunks and packages we had been rum- maging through for two days as pleasant souvenirs of him. Then he hawhawed at us and went away with a friend in a carriage, handsomer than any of us would ever be able to ride in if we stayed in the govern- ment employ for a thousand years.” “Wasn't he really smuggling that time?” irquired the reporter. “Not at all. He just did it to make ft Pleasant for us, which shows that a man who will smuggle will do anything.’ i e ———_>—_—_ Legal Point. From the Chieago Tribune. Rivers—“And so, if you caught a man in the act of robbing your chicken house you would shoot him, would you? How do you get around the commandment, “Thou shalt not kill? ”* : Brooks—That was an ex-post-facto law. It is unconstitutioral.” of two strong men to sot up wid him dat night. Dey should tie him to de bed wid clothes lines. Dey should hev pails of ice water at hand to frow ober him. Dey hould hey clubs to whack him wid when he pegins to kick. He won't escape de dream, but dere won't be so many mad dawgs an’ Niagary Falls in it. It ailus lasts a week an’ sometimes two, an’ goes away arter de Greater has bounced along ober six blocks of cobblestun pavemtent.”” Thanks and Adjournment. President Toots thanked the committees on behalf of the club for their thorough and patient researches and interesting re- ports, and added that he should have them published tn the medical magazines and sent to all hospitals.» He had read in the papers of a bicyclist in Chicago being struck by lightning while out on the street during a thunderstorm. He had appointed a com- mittee to investigate and report. It might be just Chicago's way of doing things, or on account of that city’s general wicked- ness, or it might be a new and unsuspected danger which must be guarded against. The committee would search out and solve that problem. The meeting then adjourned. pester tee ie Ted's Lost Apples. From the New York Times. never see apples,” said Ted’s mamma, “ond think of the coming season of baked apples without the remembrance coming back to me of Ted’s great grievance one night when we had them for tea. “Every one knows there is the greatest choice in baked apples. Individual tastes vary greatly as to the particular shade of brown, which ran; from a Itght amber to a deep, atmost! chocolate, shade, and there is a céttain fluffy lightness to the irterior in whfch"the connoisseur delights. It was a Surany éVening tea, and we had veral guests. ‘3 Seuphey had aM been served and Ted’s turn had come. ‘Now, ‘Ted,’ I said, cheerfulty, giving him the privilege of a choice, ‘which apple is yours? ‘¥ shall never forget the utter hopelessness, In his voice as he an- swered: ; Haas “My apple'g! gone. cn Talking through his hat.—Life. THE ORACLES OF THE CURB “Is your life insured in heaven? This question, uttered in a sepulchral voice, disturbed my reveries a few evenings ago, as I was walking along Pennsylvania avenue near 7th street. The spiritual tn- terrogation broke in upon a train of rather commonplace meditations, of board bills and the like, and called a halt upon both my thovghts and footsteps. The voice em- anated from a solemn-visaged man stand- ing in the midst of a small! crowd gathered in the open space near the drinking foun- tain on the east side of 7th street. Suspended from the limb of a tree was a large canvas, upon which were painted a number of crude and weird cartoons. The central figure was a man who seemed to be clothed in tights. His head was of gold, his chest of sil- ver, his waist of brass, his limbs of iron, and his feet of “iron and miry clay, as the speaker sub- sequently explained. Other characters upon the canvas rep- resented” strange beasts of a period an- tideluvian, appar- ently. There was a two-winged Hon, odd- looking rams’ heads, a thingumbob with seven heads, and the king beast of all, a monster with ten horns, each one dripping gore. Adjoining this monstrosity was the figure of a kneeling man, calling down fire from heaven upon a defenseless city. The placard was headed “The Coming War,” and an accompanying legend stated that “this chart is explained by a prophetic evangelist.” A neighboring electric lamp cast a fitfal and flickering lignt upon the-scene, playing upon the pale features of the prophet evangelist with the black beard and the deep-set eyes. The small knot of spect tors gathered close around the uncann placard and listened attentively to t Shastly prophesies of the prophetic evan- gelist. The scene was not an uncommon one, however. This spot is the place to witness all kinds of unusual spectacles. This is the people's forum).a place set aside by tacit censent of tLe authorities, where any man who has Scripture to expound, patent soap to sell, argurrents on free silver to advance, or desires in any way to reach the ear of the populace, can hold forth to his heart’ centent, within the hounds of orderliness. ‘The spot is well chosen. It is what might be called an eddy in the public highway. Here the currents of travel vp and down 7th street and east and west on the ave- nue cross and in the swirl may be said to form this little pool where the human driftwood which gets separated from the swiftly-moving —cur- rent comes egishly to rest, unconscious of the movement around them. Morn- ing, noon or night, there is always a group af this spot, standing all the day idle in the market place. There is not much £: men who congregate are usually of dejected nifen and dispirited frame of mind. They ure downcast and they feel downtrodden. Some are idle from indisposition to be oth- erwise, some are necessarily so. They all censtitute good material for the men who harangue them upon religian or politi Both these topics are liberally discussed. This is the pulpit of the peripatetic preach- er, without flock or parish, the man who takes it upon himself to literally go forth into the highways and byways and preach the word. He is no pent-up Utica of c1 or form, but the whole boundless universe of hurmanitarianism, as he views it. It is the platform for the man who js so busy explaining how to run the government that he has rot time to get his hair cut or his shoes half-soled. You can get any kind of religious doctrine or any kind of polit that you want, if you will only stay long enough. “Is your life insured in heaven?” The exhorter who had attracted my attention with this query repeated it, and, not re- ceiving any affirmative replies, evidently acted upon the assumption that no one in his audience was carrying a very large policy, and he there- upon proceeded to demonstrate why it would be a good scheme to let him write one upon the spot. The main argu- ment of the exhorter was that the people of this earth would do well to prepare at an early date for the dissolution of this mundane sphere. He said the coming end, which is to occur within eighty years, and maybe within was prophesied in the book of twenty, Revelations. ‘The cartoons on his placard represented the various stages of prophecy thus far fulfilled. The man with the quadro-metal- lie constitution represented the object of Nebuchadnezzar’s s It _ depicted Babylon and the subsequent kingdoms that would overthrow Babylon and be them- selves in turn overthrown. The horrid beasts on the placard represented the vari- ous stages of the church. First, there was the rule of Baby the rule of the Medes and Pers Greece, then Rome, and after Rome—the end. The end of things terrestial was rep- resented by the monster with the ten horns, each horn dripping with blood, and from the center of the monster's head arising the head of a man wearing a.crown. This per- sonage is the despot who is to come within a few years and make the whole world be- lieve he is the Messiah. He is to conquer the ten kingdoms of the earth, represented by the beast’s ten bloody horns, and is to reign supreme. But he will be a false prophet. The result will be that the Ruler of the Universe will destroy the earth to punish the people for letting this false ruler impose upon them, and after that there is to be everlasting peace. The speaker held that this is to come to pass very soon, because the days of the prophecy will then be fulfilled. He said the prophecy prom- ised the end to come within 350 years af- ter the church, repre- sented by the Lamb in the Scriptures, was driven forth into the wilderness and was there nourished. He said this signified plainly the driving forth of the oppress- ed Christians from Europe who found lodgment in America. The first to come were the Huguenot settlers of South Car- olina. But in this case the church was not nourished, because these men were de- stroyed by another sect as being heretics. The next to arpear were the Puritan fath- ers of New England. In this case the church was nourished and has steadily grown. He was inclined to think, there- fore, that the coming of the Puritans marks the beginning ef the 350 years, and that at the end of that time the last proph- ecy will be fulfilled. The exhorter glorified in the coming end. He thought the earth was ripe for it. “The world has become a perfect mad- house, a regular hell,” he cried. ‘There is nothing but sin and shame ard misery abroad. There is murder and starvation, sickness and poverty, lying and cheating, injustice and oppression. We desrzve to be cut off. Of all nations, this, my own land, America, is the most ungrateful. Nowhere has the mercy of God shown itself so much, and nowhere is the name of the Deity so profaned as in this country. Beware, my brethren, of the coming wrath. Prepare yourselves. Live rightly and honestly, en- joy aclean conscience and go to bed happy, utterly indifferent whether the angel of death comes for you before morning, be- cause of being prepared to quit this world.” — Divine Aflatas in Washington. From the Pullman Tribune. Maud Muller, on 2 summer's day, stuffed the manger full of hay; her hat was there, but not the rake, for that was but a poet's fake. Slapping the old cow on the side, she “Just think, lon, then ns, then old bossy have some bloomers made.” IN HOTEL CORRIDORS “The south on an educational map of the United States looks like a desert,” Sa) L. P Arthur of Chattanooga, Tenn., at- the Metropolitan. “In no section of the country can more re- fined, cultured people be found, and many of the schools, public and private, are mod- els. The filiterate districts are in the mountains,and in some such sections strong prejudice exists against education. I found one cf these neighborhoods in the Great Smoky mountains in Sevier county, Tenn. Tt asked my host if they had any school, and he arswered, ‘No, and we don’ wani nary, Nuther. We hed one. Larned a lot oungsters how to read an’ write. All of "em war too smart fer their folks an’ lef’ soon’s they got big enough. Two of around the mounting fer writin’ other pecple’s names an’ gettin’ mone: Nobody hyar cant read or write, an’ urey’re all gittin’ ‘long. Start a school, an’ soon’s they larned somethin’ they'd go “way an’ gil in jail.’ ” “The typical cowboy, as he is seen in newspaper cuts and depicted hy humorists or ser sational writers, cannot now be found in Arizona,” said T. F. Hughes of Tucson at the National. “It would scarcely be credited that the cowboys, as a rule, are better educated than eastern young men of the same age, and yet it is true. Most of the cowboys of today are from two clas: They are either mea who have broken down their health studying in uni- versities or younger sons of wealthy En- glith. I know a lawyer who had to resign frcm the bench on account of ill health, who is now a cowboy. He was nearly dead with consumption and went west. At first ae bought a ranch, but found what he re- quired Wes constant riding and no ca: id his ranch and hired out as a cow : are graduates of leading uni versities ‘punching cattle on the plains. A few of the old-time, rollicking, reckless nen are left, but there is a larger propor- Uon of college-bred men among cowboys than among any calling I know of.” “A misunderstanding as to the meaning ef a word sometimes leads to peculiar situa- tions,” said Rev. A. L. Smith of Chicago, at the Arlington. “In company with sev- eral other ministers I was rid.ng in a stage er hack, which served the purpose of a » en route to a camp meeting. The road wound among the mountains, and the % air was delightful, while the y was most sublime. I was invigorated as though by a powerful tonic, and several times remarked upon the ozone in the air. After one of these observations the dri stopped the hot » and beckonin slyly, climbed from the se: dering what he could want, I foll him, and on we were behind a large tree, out of view from the wagon. ‘Parson,’ said the driver, ‘I couldn't bear to see you suffer. The ozone you smelled was in my pocket.’ With these words he drew forth a large bottle of whisky, which he offered to me. It took several minutes to convince him that it was not whisky I had referred to as ozone.” scene to me “One of the most honest men who ever lived was Judge Arthur Shields,” said C. K. Markham of Cheyenne, at the Riggs. “He Was on the bench in the early days of Kan- sas, and I was one of the lawyers who Practiced in his’ court. Upon cne occasion I was conducting a case in which I had perfect confidence when the trial began, but befcre it had progressed far the ev dence against my client's side of the con- troversy was so strong and so unexpected that I saw the cause was hopeless. I fully believed the witnesses lied, but could not shake them by cross-examination, and icoked as though my client would lose his property. Judge Shields had decided every Question with perfect fairness, and it could not be seen that he was in ‘any way in- terested until suddenly he called to an at- torney, ‘Mr. Black, take the bench for the rest of this case," then turping to me he said, “have me sworn as a witness. I will not see a man robbed in this court in mat- ters of which I am personally cognizant.’ He took the stand, and his testimony saved the case for me. The other side appealed, but the judge was sustained, the only case of the kind in the books.”” “The stories told of the free and easy way that obtains in newly organized west- ern communities are scarcely overdrawn,” said E.D.Pearce of Boise City, Idaho, at the Shoreham. “A few weeks ago I was at Gowden's Gap. a camp not far from the Bay Horse mines, and I was very much amused to find a placard posted on the door of the leading saloon and gambling room: “Gents—Whereas, This place has a bad name owing to too promiscuous shooting and is likely to be avoided as unhealthy by tenderfeet who would otherwise plant their coin here, it is resolved that no more shoot- ing will be alowed, ept in the following cases: 1. For cheating at cards. 2. For re- fusing a drink when such refusal is made for the purpose of insulting the offerer. For calling a man a liar or a horse thief. 4. For dancing with a girl that belongs to the shooter, after warning. 5. For steal ing horse, saddle, brid or blanket. For jumping a claim. Usual penalty. order of committee. “And the notice, which was well written in every way, meant just what it said.” By “I have never believed the stories about the great age of turtles and the finding of them many years after they have been marked,” said R. P. Johnson of Mobile at Willard’s. “But a circumstance happened to me a few days ago that either bears out the stories or is a remarkable coinci- dence. About thirty years ago, when I was a boy, I went fishing off St. Simon island, near Brunswick, Ga. While there I caught a sea turtle, and to try to overpower him I stabbed him with a knife. I missed his head and the blade entered his shell and broke off. The turtle then escaped. “A few days ago a friend of mine gave me a large sea turtle, which I killed and cleaned in order to preserve the shell. A knife blade was imbedded in so far as I can remember the positicn that mine had struck in thirty years ago. I could not swear that he was the same turtle, but it certainly looked like it.” “I have met a very large number of In- dians, although I am wholly unacquainted with ‘the noble red man of the forest,’ ” said H. D. Dayton of Wichita, Kan., at the Raleigh. “There seems to be a belief prevalent that Indians are brave. Upon the contrary, as a rule, they are the most cowardly people I know anything about. An In¢éian never forgives and will always avenge an injury done him, but this does not mean that he will seek his revenge upon the man who did the injury. In fact, he is apt to be afraid of him. If a white storekeeper takes the advantage-of an In- dian, for example, he is afraid of tne store- keeper. He will lay low for an opportunity to get even, and the fisst white man he sees who is unprotected and glefenseless he will wreak his revenge upon. The In- dian character has the least nobility of any I know of.” H “There is cne very admirable trait about pigeons,” said A. B. Mather of Cincinnati at the Cochran. “I have always had a penchant for birds, and since I was a small boy have owned a number of pigeons. When pigeons mate they do so for life, and the averag2 constancy among them is as great as among human beings. I have watched them carefully and never saw one of them desert its mate. I had a very handsome bachelor pigeon that was quite attentive to one that was mated. When the mate re- turned home he found this pigeon hovering around the cote, and, taking in the situa- tion at a glance, attacked the gay bird and nearly killed him. After that there was no attempt upon his part to break up the little home. They have no divorces among them, and altogether valuable lessons in domestic happiness can be learned from pigeons.” =" “Comic papers are having a very great Influence in building up the cities at the expense of the country,” said S. L. Burton, a farmer of Chillicothe, HL, at the Hamil- ten. “Farmers are always burlesqued, and the boys in the country are so sensitive about it that they go to the cities, as a rule, as soon as they reach the age when they are their own masters. It also has an ef- fect upon the older men. I remember when every farmer was proud of raising big crops on particular tracts of land, of raising big fruit, big ears of corn, big pumpkins or big hogs. To take premiums at fairs, was an honor to be highly prized. Now there is very little rivalry of that kind. Farmers are not usually proud of their occupation, and I believe the constant ridicule of farm- ers in the comic papers and gn the stage has a great deal to do with the change. “Tournaments are increasing and will in the not far distant future be a regular fad,” seid S. C. Arthur of Warrenton, _ at the Shoreham. “In the northern and cen- tral parts of Virginia and in Maryland they are gaining in popularity very rapidly and are having a decided effect upon the raising and sale of running horses, which threatened to seriously decline a year or two ago. Another thing thai is tending to mak~- horse raising profitable once more is the growth of the hunting spirit in fox chases, &c. The English style of hunting is rapidly gaining favor, and there is a growing demand for steeplechase horses. There are several breeders in Virginia who have imported English hunting stock and are ra'sing this class of horses for the market. They obtain good prices, ranging from $300 to $750, and the demand is grow- ing larger constantly. This season has been a remunerative one to Virginia horse breed- ers, and the prospects are bright fér even a better one next year. “A barber im my town has discovered a new method of making the time pass pleas- antly for his customers,” said L. A. War- ren of Owasso, Mich., at the Ebbitt. “He used to be a great talker, but read so many jokes about barbers talking to their cvstomers that he quit and put up a notice, “Please don’t talk to the barber, as he don't want to talk when at work.’ Some of his patrons did not like this innovation, and the barber hit upon a novel plan of making the time pass pleasantly while his custom- ers were being shaved. He has three little girls, all of whom are ‘lent elocution- ists for their ages. He has them take turns of an hour h at a time reciting stirring, pathetic and hvmorous verses. When no customers are in the shop they S as the ase, but when a patr the barb “Re- cite for the nan, Annie,’ and Annie gives him n’s Ride.’ “The Polish Boy,’ or some other favorit > MRS. JILSON ON St VER. She Informs the H of Her jen jouw. “I have been studying this silver ques- tion myself,” said Mrs. Jilson, as she look- ed up from the paper, with a gleam of in- telligence that usually set Jilson on edge. “I am glad you have,” remarked Jilson. Hoping to avoid a political discussion he dof the Family, asked: “What are the weather indica- tions?” “Never mind the weath said Mrs. son severely. “Every time I want to talk to you about smportant matters you try to turn the conversation on the weath- er, or base ball, or some other equally un- important thing. Now, what I want to do is to convince you that you ought to be for silver and for Bryan and al! the rest of it instead of being a ¢ bug and a McKinley man.” cvery other man I meet on the street talks the same thing,” said Jilson desper- ately, d when I ome 1 would like to hear something else ald “That is just 1 id Mrs. Jil- son, with emphasis. z 10 a lot of fool men all day long, who d know anything about it, put w come home you don’t want to he common sens Jilson disappeared but it did no good. away | “Now, 4 his newspaper, The paper was swept a determined hand you've got to listen to what I say, and I know when you have studied it care- fully as J have you will be for silver.” Jilson looked L “I have been figuring up how much cur ilver ware sued Mrs. Jilson, “With my and all the odds and ends, there must be scar a thousand dollars’ worth. Weil, if we have got a thousand dollars’ worth now, when Eryan is elected with his 16. ness Titio, some of them call i iiver will be wortk about sixteen tnousand dollars. Now, you are not going to throw away ail that money, are you?” “If Bryan is elected I se you will have the silver ware coin feebly. “No, I'll just add $15,000 to the v: it, and we will be that much richer, Mrs. Jilson with complacenc Jilson said nothing, and Mrs. Jilson knew she had made a convert to the silver cause, - A UNIQUE asked Jilson ue of * said PIPE. ‘h is the Result of South African Inventive Genius. The Kaffirs of South Africa are in many ways a remarkable people, but perhaps thé most singular thing about them is their of smoking, and especially their The ordinary Kaffir pipe is a suffi formidable affair. almost ag big and heavy as the “knob kerry,” or war club, which it often considerably resembles in form; at a pinch it would make a for- midable weapon in the hands of its mus- cular owrer. But it isn’t every Kafiir who can afford an ornate pipe of this de- ription, and every Kaffir must smoke— so he thinks. Curiously enough, the poor- mode est man smokes the big; t pipe—the big- gest, indeed, on t ce of the earth, for it is rothing less than the earth itself. I don’t suppose that he is so conc though the Kaflirs have plenty of conceit—as to imagine that he “owns the earth,” but he does use it for a tobacco pipe—and this is how he does it. He has managed to procure a handful of tobacco, but has no regulation Shall he forego his smoke? Not be: ssity is certainly the mother of invention in this case. He first pours a little water on the ground and makes a sort of mud pie. He then takes a limber twig and bends it into the shape of a bow; this he buries in the mud in such a way t both ends protrude a little at the sur! He then waits a while for the mud ‘den. & doesn’t mind waiting, for a Kaflir has lc of time, and it isn't 3 wait long, for the hot tropical sun bakes the clay very quickly. When he considers that the pie is “done to a turn,” he pulls out the twig, which, of course, leaves a curved hole through the clay. At one end he scoops out a sort of bowl, in which he places his tobacco. At the other end he fashions a little mound to serve as @ mouthpiece: it looks mere like the opening of a small ant hill than anything else. A Europe probably, woulin’t relish a mouthpiece of mud—he couldn't use it, anyhow, for his nose would be too much in the way, but a Kaffir doesn't stick at trifles, and he has no nose to speak of. So he drops a live coal on the tobacco in the bowl, Hes flat on the ground, applies his thick lips to the orifice, and sucks away— drawing in vast quantities of the rankest, vilest smoke that ever made a human be- in gasp and choke. For it is not enough that his tobacco ts the coarsest and strongest and in every way the worst that the soll of this planet produces: mere tobacco isn’t potent enough to satisfy a Kaffir, though a single whiff of it wouid prostrate the most accom- plished European smoker. So he mixes with it a liberal quantity of “dagha.” @ kind of hemp with intoxicating qualities similar to those of hashish. This is a drug powerful enough to paralyze even a South African, and by the time his pipe ts fin- ished ihe smoker frequently falls in a fit. In many cases he becomes quite insensi- ble, and for a Jorg time lies like a log; indeed—so pernicious is the stuff—he some= times never arouses. But are cheap in Africa; what does It matter, one Kaffir more or less? Just where the pleasure comes in a civilized man is at a loss to discover; but no amount of argument can wean the South African savage from his tobacco and “‘dagha.” — poss Goldsmith Rev! From the Indianapolis Jou'tal. Old Friend at your profession?” Dr. Carbolate, throat specialist—“Oh, yes. It was uphill work at first, but, in the lan- guage of the poet, those who ‘came to cough remained to-spray.””"