Evening Star Newspaper, September 19, 1896, Page 14

14 “The doll play house has long been without an occupant,” remarked one of the attaches of the Executive Mansion, in speaking of the doll house which has been stored under the eastern portico of the White House for a number of years. “This play house was given to Nellie Arthur, and was much used by her and her girl friends. It was nicely furnished. One of the two rcoms was furnished as a kitchen and dining room, and the other as a combination sii- ting room and parlor. Nellie Arthur, when she first came to the White House, was of the doll age, but before she was here long she grew out of it, and the doll house was deserted. It has had no occupant since, and is not likely to have any for some time. “Only two children can get in the house at the same time. There have been a num- ber of applicants for the house, but every one has hesitated to do anything about it. Of course, Nellie Arthur or any one author- ized by her could get the house by simply sending for it, for it is her private prop- erty, and though it has been stored under the ‘east portico, the government has no control over it. of her own now, and she may send for it some day for them. For the children, and especially the girls of doll age, it is_ the | most interesting thing about the White House. * * eK K “Chimneys should be looked after now,” observed a specialist in brick work, “for fires will be started in a couple of weeks, and trouble may ensue from bad flues. It is rather surprising how many fires there are every fall caused by defective flues. These defective flues can be discovered by any practical mechante if the opportunity is given him. The trouble 1s, however, that housekeepers do not give the proper amount of attention to the matter. content ther evening arrives, when they start a rousing fire. The result very frequently fs an ex- pensive fire In other parts of the house as well as in the latrobes or furnaces. fact that a chimney does not draw the very moment a fire is started in it is nothing against it, for the best kind of flues refuse to work well until they are properly warm- ed up. usekeepers need not be surprised, elther, if their houses are filled with smoke for an hour or so on starting a fire, for this | nearly always follows. It cures itself, however, in a very short time, for as soon as a current Is established the difficulty is ended. ft s in the long run to have chimney, furnace and stove work dene a couple of weeks there will be "mand on this class of mechanics ntly happens that they slight ork that Js glven them.” ee * * of sleen, there are as many ings as there are about eating— what i man’s food is another's poison. The same applies to sleep. This much is generally known and accepted by standard authorities the subject, that tall or bulky pecple require more sleep than others, and that wemen can get along on much ®leep than can men. As with animals, human beings sleep much longer | and heartier other times. quire as much sl in the winter than at any as infants, and it ‘s beneficial to both es if they can sleep one-half the time, or even a greater propor- tion. There is one thing I would like to impress upon ev positively lepger one, and that is, it is injurious for any one to sleep n is actually necessary. n you near people talk of forcing elves to. sleep long hours, it means as if they overdrank or overfed 1 am strongly of the belief six or seven hours is lo: p for the average healthy per- ere are those who need an hour or Sg more, as there are others who thrive mentally and physically on four hours’ sleep. ‘Early to bed and early to rise’ is a splendid doctrine, but in cases where one while cannot get to bed early they should not force themselves to rise early. Sleep all you can naturally, but never sleep for sieep’s sake, oi ‘ longer than is necessary.” «oe Oe ee “Lady instructors on the bicycle is the latest in the wheeling world,” sald a lead- ing wheelman, “and théy are already in demand. The ladies heretofore have had to depend on mule irstructors, and although they did rot like it much there was no help for them ard they had to get assistance and instruction from men or boys or do without. This prevented many ladies from learning to ride, who now can employ lady instruciors. So far, there are not over a half dozen lady instructors, but they are only the pioneers, and in a Httle while there will be enough to supply any demand. Ladies are better instructors for ladies than are men, for they know more of and can arrange the skirts of those learning to ride better than male instructors can or dare do. “There is no doubt but that it 1s harder ) for « lady to learn to ride than it ts for a man, for the reason that the bicycle is necessarily shaped so that it is more diffi- cult to mount and dismount. Of course, when the learners wear bloomers the learn to mount and dismount easier than when they are compelled to wear skirts, it matters not how short they are. Several of the lady instructors can be seen on the streets of the west end section during the early mornings. The experience of the best lady riders of the wheel is that more progress can be made with a half hour's instruction during daylight hours than dur- ing the night. It ts also much safer for riders as well as the wheel.” x ee HK “The fall rains are now nearly due,” ob- served a weather guesser, “and some things in connection with the same will be seasonable. Rains diminish as we advance from the equator to the poles, and western coasts of a country are generally more reined on than are eastern. At the equator the annual rainfall is often as much as 95 inches, while up in Russia it rarely rains over 17 inches. The heaviast rains are between the tropics, and at Cape Horn there has been a fall of 154 Inches. In cme parts of the world there are no rains. ‘This is specially the case in the deserts of the Sahara and in Egypt, as well as in Asia, Arabia, Syria and Persia. There is @ werderful scarcity of rains of late years in Peru, Belivia ond along the coasts of Mexico, Guatemala and a small district on the coast of Venezuela. “Weshington and the surrounding coun: try suffers but little from rain, though by @ combination of circumstances which is rather peculiar the rains hereabouts are very often, too often, in fact, for comfort, at 9 oclock, as the departments are bein; filled with clerks, and at 4 o'clock, as they ere clesing for the day. Watch the next ten raity days and you wili find that rains will fall in eight cases out of ten at the heurs mentioned. Maybe there will be a change in this matter during the next ad- ministraticn, when so many good things are premised, but I have some doubts about fe= ** * * * “Parents will find that an occasionel visit to the pifdlic schools is highly appreciated by teachers, as well as pupils,” observed an caperienced teacher, who has presided over a public school for a number of years. “My own experience has been, es also that of other teachers, that parents visit the ackools too seldcin. I know of teachers who complained last session that they had but few visits from parents. One or two of them told me that during the entire schcol year they did not have a single visit frcm parents. This is very discour- Nellie Arthur has children | The | remarked a | People of extreme old age re- | aging to teachers, and, besides, it has a bad effect upon the children. Children are as arxiaus for occasional visits from their parents as teachers. “The latter like them to call, for they can explain to them in what way they can aid the children by assisting them in their lessons. By co-operation with the teacher on the part of the parents the children are greatly benefited. There is one class of parents who call, however, whose visits do harm, for they only call to growl or complain. They not only com- plain of the teacher, but growl against the whole public school system.” xe KOK OK “Those people who set their watches and clocks by the ball on Tuesday,” volun- teered a State Department clerk, “had better reset them, for they are exactly one minute and a half ahead of time. It was by an unavoidable accident, however. The ball is raised three or four minutes in advance of the noon hour, and by an electric arrangement it falls just as the | Sun crosses the meridian. That is, it gen- erally does. On Tuesday last, however, a | storm came up just as the ball was raised, and one and a half minutes before it should have dropped the wire was struck by lightning and it feil. Those who were watching the ball took it for granted that the fall was regular, and turned up their watches and clocks accordingly. This was specially the case with the saw mills and other concerns which blow a whistle indi- cating midday. “Had they noticed, however. they would have seen that the ball was immediately raised, and that it fell at 12 o'clock pre- | eisely. The first fall, therefore, did not |count. While the accident had never oc- curred before, it is liable to cccur at any time, though the chances for lightning striking the wire during the few minutes | the ball is raised every day are so very small that it is hardly worth considering. There is a class who frequently bet cn the accuracy of their timepieces ard prove it by looking at the ball drop. The bets made on Tuesday, therefore, should be declared off. It only shows, however, how schemes of mice and men aft ——EE A MONSTER FISH. A Washington Boy at Trinidad Helps to Haul One Ashore. In a letter received recently from F. J. Buxton, formerly of this city and now cashier of the Trinidad Asphalt Company at Brighton, British West Indies, he re- lates some of his fishing experiences. “I have done some pretty good fishing | since I came down here. One day I was out for small fish with a thin wire line, and was hauling them in in great shape, when along came a large fish, which nearly took me out of the boat. Well, I tugged and pulled at the line, cut my fingers till they bled, but did not care so the line did not give way. At last I landed him, and | he pulled the scales down to the fourteen- pound mark—pretty good for a small fish. | “Now, I wif tell you of the big fish I | caught, we caught, eyerybody on the jetty | caught, and all the steamer’s crew, besides | # hundred coolies, were there to ‘see. He | measured eighteen feet from tp to tip. “For the past week we had been seeing | these devil fish about the place, and one | day the queen’s custom house officer (this is an English port) went out with two of us In a row boat, and we succeeded in har- poonine one of the creatures; when sud- | denly away went fish, boat, ‘men and | all. We would have been capsized had the | harpcon held, but fortunately it gave way | just in time to save us. Since that time we | have been eager to capture one of these monsters, but no one has had the nerve to | venture out for that purpose. Last Su | day, as I was quietly sitting in my office writing a letter to my sweetheart, I heard a great commotion outside, and going out on the porch, I found one of these sea dev- Is had swallowed the anchor of our row boat. | “The other end of the boat was lashed by a strong rope to the jetty. So, you see, the brute was held fast. Every man | grabbed hold of the rope, and we hauled the | fish up to the jetty and then shot him. We | fired forty rounds, besides putting all the harpoons we had into him, before he finally stopped fighting. Our coolies then drew | him on shore, where we had a good look at the monster. He was a villainous-looking creature, and we think well named. His | mouth was large enough to swallow two Jonahs at once. You can well imagine, we had a deal of excitement for the Sabbath day; but it does not often happen that one of these sea devils comes along and catches himself so handsomel: ——+ ONE KIND OF EDITOR. Something Like Umto the Fabled Chinese Style of Editor. The reporter for The Star had been around to let Li Hung Chang ask him four or five thousand questions before breakfast, and he was then telling the hotel clerk about it in the hearing of a man who looked as much like a Chicago art sales- man as anything else. Incidentally, the ; reporter mentioned that in China there were people who gathered information around the towns and sold it to the cu- rious, and he intimated that Li Hung | Chang was on the make and would prob- ably dispose of his large and valuable col- lection of facts to good advantage when he got home. This was taken as a joke, but the Chi- cago man looked serious. “Well,” said he, “I don’t know about this Chinese business, but about two years ago I was in a town down south where the press isn’t supported with that degree of liberality we expect it to be in this day and generation, and as L stood in the door of the store where I had sold a bill of goods a man came by and began to talk to me— Li Hung Changing me, so to speak, for he asked me more questions in a minute than I had had asked me all the time I had been ir town. He wasn’t a very reputable- looking party, either, for his nose was red and his hat had the droops at four cor- ners, but he was a bright sort of a fellow and his eyes sparkled, even if they were leary and liquor-soaked. “As I was answering his questions and trying to get away from him the proprietor of the store came out and introduced me to the queer genius as the local editor. Then I began to ask a few questions myself, but before I had time to get in very many the town marshal appeared down the street with a prisoner, and the editor dropped me and went after the latest excitement. “{ didn’t know you had a newspaper here,” said I to the merchant. “We haven’t,’ said he, ‘but we've got an editor.” “*How can he edit a paper when there isn’t any? said I. “He's a genius,’ said he. “**He doesn't look it,’ said I. “ ‘Well, I'll tell you what that chap does,” said he, ‘and what he has been doing for a year or more. You know we have a popu- lation of seven or eight hundred here, and we don’t get a dally paper until it is elgh- teen hours old, and then we don’t get that regularly, and nobody in town takes it, ex- cept on Sunday. Well, what does ‘this chap do but beg a corner in the room where the post office is, and there he put an old arm chair somebody gave him and called it the editorial rooms of the Per- petual Gazette. People laughed at him, and thought he was drunk, as usual, but he went around everywhere in town gather- ing the news exactly as if he were going to print it, and he knew how, for he had been a bright newspaper man once. “Then he would collect a group of peo- ple and offer to tell all he Knew for five cents from each listener, or, as he did sometimes, he would get up on a barrel outside the office, and, after telling what he had to tell, he wouid pass the hat and collect sometimes as much as fifty or sev- enty-five cents. He always got a lot of news out of the daily paper and supplied it. fresh every morning of the day after. I have often had him come in here at night, and for a quarter got an hour or more entertainment out of him, besides getting the news. “* ‘He reads the stories in the papers, too; and if anybody wants tu’hear stories he can give all the current ones at so much per listener.’ ” —__ Testimony to Their Merits. From Up-to-Date. “Dear Sir: Six months ago I bought a pair of your patent never-rip bloomers, and since then I have felt ‘ike a new woman.” —— IN HOTEL CORRIDORS “I have often read accounts of snails as an article of food,” said W. R. Hamilton at the Metropolitan, “and a few weeks ago I concluded to try some of them, as I have @ sort of penchant for trying articles of food with which I am not familiar, I suc- ceeded in getting about a quart of fine fat snails one evening, and, not caring to use them until the next morning, I concluded to keep them. I put them in a pan, sprinkled a considerable quantity of salt over them, covered the pan, and left them. The next morning I went to the kitchen to cook the snails, the cook refusing to have anything to do with them. Upon re- moving the cover from the pan, I found that there was nothing there but some salt. I accused the cook of throwing them away, which shd denied doing, and got some more. These I salted, and they van- ished like melting snow. I did not get to taste snails, but I discovered that salt dis- solves them almost instantly, without leaving a trace of them. “I would like to see the man who first wrote about greasing little chickens to pre- vent the gapes,” said R. P. Lucas of Peoria, Ill., at the National. “I live a short distance from town and raise a good many chickens. I saw a statement in a number of papers to the effect that if a little chick- en’s head and neck were thoroughly greased it would prevent its having gapes. I had about two hundred small chickens and caught them all and greased them thoroughly. Then I turned them loose. In about two hours I returned and found that they would certainly never have the gapes. Every chicken was dead. The action of the sun on the grease killed them. I have known several others who have had a similar experience, and I think it is time for the papers to tell how the grease stops the gapes.” “I don't know what a besol stone is,” sald D. T. King of Jacksonville, Fla., at the St. James, “but it is universally believed among the ‘crackers,’ as they are called, that there are such things, and they possess wonderful value, curing snake bites by a single application in the same way that ‘mad stones’ are used. The besol stones are found in the stomach of deer, and no hun- ter neglects to search for a besol stone when he kills an antelope. In many parts of the flowery state deer still abound, and there are very few sections where snakes are not numerous, and I do not think there is a hunter who does not believe implicitly in the virtues of the besol stone, although they are scarcer than fine pearls. The nearest I ever came to seeing one, I heard from several sources that a certain man had one that had cured many snake bites. I went to see him to try to get possession ot the besol stone. His widow told me that they had sold the besol stone a month be- fore, and a week later her husband died from the effects of a moccasin bite. t seems to be universally admitted that Erices are too cheap and must be ralged,” said E. P. Barton of Pittsburg at the Ra- leigh. “I have been inclined to the same opinion, and am still, but I happened to look through an old ledger of mine, kept in the year 1845, when I was In the mercantile business in an Ohio town. I had a bookkeeper and a clerk. To the former J paid $30 a month, to the latter $10, There are a number of entries that show I paid 25 cents a day for common labor, arid 30 cents during harvest time on a’ farm I owned. I find that I paid 50 cents for a physician’s visit, and 25 cents for a pre- scription. I bought peaches at from 10 cents to 25 cents a bushel; potatoes,15 cents to 25 cents a bushel: eggs, 5 cents a dozen; butter, 8 cents a pound. I’ see by the ledger that during the absence of my family 1 boarded at the leading hotel of the town, where I paid $2 a week for board, with missed meals deducted. I algo learn ‘that I sold fresh meat at 3 cents to 5 cents a pound, and I presume I made a profit, as I do not remember selling anything upon which I Gid not. These are prices of a half cen- tury ago, and they are certainly much lower, including those of wages, than ob- tain no “I have seen various stories about mean men and some of them arg very good, but none of them equal cne I know to be true,” sald G. P. Willis of Tiffin, Ohio, at the Regent. “I have know a neighbor of mine for several years and if during that time he has ever had a charitable impulse ft was concealed from his acquaintances: He | has three children and his wife, who ts wholly unlike him, Insists that presents shall be given them each Christmas. Four years ago he was practically coerced into allowing the purchase of a few toys. A few days after Christmas the children had lost all of these toys, and the father whipped them for losing them. The next Christmas be brought home some toys, duplicates of those given the previous year. In a few days they were lost, the ,chil- dren again whipped, and nothing more was seen of them until the following Christ- mas, when they once more did duty for Santa Claus. Since then the mother acts as custodian to prevent the father from stealing his children’s toys.” “I don't know why it is, but the Ameri- can mania for gambling is dying out,” said Tom Brewer, one of the best known of the Denver sports, at the Arlington. “Take horse racing, and over two-thirds of the tracks are closed. The breeding of fast horses is not nearly so profitable as it used to be and there is not one race where there were ten, twenty years ago. Then faro. It is a fact that there are not fs many open faro rooms in the United States as there were in Chicago or.Denver alone a few years ago. I have not seen a keno card for ten years. There are a few rooms, but they are comparatively small. Poker is played privately and in clubs. There are a few poker rooms where strangers can get into a game, in all large cities, but there are not one-fourth as many as ten years ago, and the games are very much smaller, only occasionally a game being played for heavy stakes. ‘The places of these are taken to some extent by crap rooms, of a much lower order, but that is being rapidly forced out of existence. There is probably less gambling among Americans now than among men of any other leading nationality.” “The American song birds are rapidly being killed,” said L. P. Dysart of Mobile at Willard’s. ‘Throughout the south the mocking birds are growing fewer every year. On a plantation of mine near Mo- bile, where the air used to be full of the melody of the mocking birds, I have not heard or seen one for three years. It is the same way throughout the south. I have not seen an oriole in Maryland, al- thovgh I was there a month, nor one in Washington. The parks used to have plerty of them in the trees. In Ohio the legislature passed a law making it a crim- inal offenge to kill a red bird or to keep one in captivity. All of them had to be released, and the result is that they are new beginning to increase. I think every state should pass a similar statute as to the song birds found within its borders. It will take but a few years, unless there is such legislation, to destroy all of the song birds in the United States.” “There is a great deal gerius among criminals,” said P. D. Wal- lingford of Cincinnati. “This fact is unt- versally recognized and frequently com- mented upon. I was talking to a detec- tive some time ago, who has an original idea. He says that the government and the people at large now get no benefit whatever out of criminals, When at lib- erty they prey upon others, and when confined they are not self-supporting, while wkat working they do is in competition with free labor. If, therefore, a system of rewards was inaugurated by which the criminal could recuce his sentence by in- venting useful appliances to be passed upon by state prison officials, such inven- ticns to be for the benefit of the public, the criminals would exe-t their wits to pro- duce such meritorious ideas that they could gain freedom, and the people would benefit frem those ideas, The Idea seemed to me sufficiently plausible to warrant investi- gation.” of inventive “The hardwoods are becoming very scarce and lumbermen say that there fs practi- cally no walnut and cherry left,” said L. C. Burns of Huntington, W. Va., at the How- ard. “Yet, in the aggregate, there is an fmmense amount of both walnut and cherry left. ply is by,g0 megns exhausted. Through the Blue Ridge andyAllegheny ranges there are thousan qpvalnut and cherry trees. They arg. somgwhat isolated, but at the can be a°¢ith enough walnut to keep | -a sawmill runnipg for months, but the sup- ae ‘Al present es,,would pay handsomely for hauliny the'Gnills. The timbermen have not yet Céased Jooking for virgin forests of walnut gnd cerry, and these are very scarce, en. they make up their minds that thes cangot be secured, and make a close cafiyass for single trees, I think they will be sifpriged at the number still stand- iii ie ah Pay “I was,in a.group telling stories at a country hotel in West Virginia, when one; of the crowd told a mother-in-law joke,” said B. ¥. Havens of New York at the Shoreham. “The landlord was quite old, nearly eighty years of age, I think, and he did not relish this atory, although he laugh- ed heartily at the others. “I don’t believe ir. Jokes about a mai mother-in-law,’ he said. ‘The mother of a man’s wife ought to be thought as much of as his own mother. My first wife did not have a living mother, and it took her a long time to get used to keeping house. All of my others have had- their mothers with’ them, and the old ladies have always watched out for enything wrong, while my wives were all ambitious to do as well as their mothers, All five of my mothers-in- law have lived with me, and if I get mar- ried again, I will have a wife whose mother is living." —_—>—_ MARY ANN--MY GIRL We growed up together—Mary Ann and I. Ever since we was so high. Fact is, our places touch, and our fences run to- gether, and her pa and my pa started our groves at the same time. Its south Floridy where we live. I said our fences jine. You see, we built our shacks when there wasn’t anybody else aroun’ for miles. Now there's quite a big little settlement near us, and we have a mighty fancy name—Umadilla, cr some such the northern folks calls it, for they named it, and we've got a post oflice now. We used to call it Horse Shoe Bend, ‘cause there's a bend of hammock land aroun’ our place; but them northern folks knowed better, of course. Over at Mary Ann's place there's a Big Chiny berry tree. Its a real nice place to Ne under, on the Bermudy grass, and watch Mary Ann plait palmetto hats. She's real peart at it, and can do lots of fancy things. She made a lot of palmetto hats, and trimmed ’em with flowers an’ sich that she made out of the palmetto. Looked most as pretty as fish-scale work. She carried *em to Orlando, an’ some of the northern ladies bought ‘em. They took pow’ful spells over 'em. Yes, Mary Ann's right peart. Her pa ‘lows she's his right-hand man, an’ he don’t know what he'll do when she marries. She’s as strong as a little mule. You wouldn't b'lieve it, no, sir, if I tol’ you what work that girl's done. "Deed, she has, though. She plows real clever. Yes, sir, she put in the crop when her pa was ‘lec- tioneering for Cap'n Shine. I had the’ chill-fever las’ spring, and I ain’t been go peart since. Then I was out wadin’ in the flat-woods one night in the rainy season, huntin’ our mare that'd run away, and I went org” into a gopher hole, and everlastin'ly bruised my ankle. I ain’t been no hand at walkin’ since. I cam Jest sorter poge over to Mary Ann's; but it’s a right hard pull; yes, sir! Mary Ann, she can tyrn her hand to anything. Jest to show you. Las’ week her pa set out to burn a “fre line” 'roun’ our‘places. Well, the fire got away from him, an’ was combin’ for the cross fence, when Mary Ann, she saw it from where wé sat under the Chiny tree. She just Kited fur the stable, and before I could count twenty she was back again with theif ol’ mule an’ a plow. Them she turned over to her pa, and pitched into tearin’ down the cross fence: for if the fire got ahold to the cross fence our groves was gone up; ‘cause, you see, there was orange bresh piled all’about the roots of the trees, and if it got caught afire, why, they'd everlastin’ly roast. Yes, sir! The fence ‘did catch one place, but Mary Ant, she ‘pulled the burnin’ rails off, and throwed "em into the plowed groun’. Then her pa tuckered out, and she fin- ished the ‘fire \line,” just a geein’ and a hawin’, big as the governor. Then she poured water over that pore old mule, never thinkin’ of herself, Mary Ann she never tuckers out. The heat was awful that day. When an ol’ Floridy sun-gits to humpin’ {t can't be beat. No, sir! But Mary Ann, she never stopped till the line was plowed. That's Mary Ann, all. over. Pa says If tt hadn't been for Mary Ann our groves "d been ruint,.and. her pa says he can’t git along without Mary Ann; but I reckon he'll have to, ‘cause she’s my girl. Mi Says Mary Ann's worth the whole kit an’ bilin’ of we men folks. I reckon me and Mary Ann might “step off” this fall—maybe. I ain't very peart; but Mary Ann’s real likely, and strong as a little mule. I reckon we could get along right well. Mary Ann's raisin’ some hawgs, an’ her ma says she can have the heifer that she nursed up When everyPoiy' else said it had the “salt sick.” and would die. Then there's the harridick (stray cow) that takened up with they-all’s cows, an’ I should think that orter to belong to Mary Ann. She fed it from her own potato patch. With the shoates an’ the heifer an’ the harrydick, it ‘pears to me we might kinder manage. I might kind of perk up, an’ feel like goin’ ‘lectioneering myself fur sheriff, and Mary Ann could put in the crop while I was gone. Looks like we might sorter git along. | HER OBJECTION. Why a Mother Wanted to Disown Her Daughter, Who Eloped. “I spent the night in a cabin near Mon- ticello, Ky., a few weeks ago,” sald C. L. Mcliwaine of the blue grass state to a Star reporter. In the morning a young girl who had cooked the supper the night before w: missing, while her mother was in a ter- ritle rage. “I don’t want ter never see thet gal agin,” she cried vehemently. “What is the trouble?” I asked. “Trubble? Trubble enough. That gal o’ mine has "loped ’th Tom Wilkins.” “Do you object to him very greatly?” “Him? I didn’t say nothin’ ‘gin’ him, did I? It's the gal. She kain’t cum back hyar no mo’.” I had taken rather a fancy to the girl, so I thought I would try to placate the mother. “You shouldn't be hard on her. people will marry.” “I hain't no ’jections ter her a marryin’.”” “They don’t always marry the man thelr parents want them to.” “Y hain't nothin’ agin Tom." “Some nice girls like to elope. It adds remance,” I persisted. “I hain’ nothin’ ter say ‘bout thet. I allus tol’ Hér ter tun away ter git married. It makes a hushan’ better when he thinks he stole hts g@l? an’ then thar ain't no trubble fixin’ fez weddin’ an’ dance. She ol; her "bout runnin’ off ter Young @ trouble?” I asked. “Trubble; enough. I tol’ her when she run off ter..take thet thar piece o’ five-cent caliker and git two ya'ds fer a bonnet, an’ thar it lqys right whar I put it, never teched. I fon’ Know when I’ll git another chance teh, git sme.” At that ‘nomeht the girl and her lover, riding on a horse, came to the back door. The old lady glaficed at them. “Did youwgit ¥ caliker?” she shouted. “Yaas, qaw. @lef’ th’ piece, so I made Tom buy Sur ygids. "Nuff fer a hull bon- net.”” “Get right off gan’ cum in. Tom, put up th’ critteg! I'M Men’ for Abe Woolson ter bring ‘is Mtidle hn’ we'll all hev a dance jess like yo’ was married ter hum.” And within an hour it looked like the whole population of the mountain side had ar- rived, while the bride and her mother were busy ‘cooking chickens for a feast, and Abe tuning his fiddle for use as soon as dinner should be over. ————— »At the Club. From the Cleveland Leader. Farnsworth—“Do you believe in the trans- migration of souls?” Eddy—‘“Yes. I am convinced that my wife was formerly a wildcat.” eo gee ce A Social Disaster. From the Chicago Record. “Madge, you were late at the tennis club this afternoon.” “Yes; I lost the combination of the block- and-tackle which holds my shirt watst and The day has passed when a forest ; skirt together.” THE EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 19, 1896-TWENTY-TWO PAGES. See DM THE ARIZONA KICKER Selections Made for The Star by M. Quad. The Panther Hill- Advocate, which was established by J. M. Simms two months ago, suspended publication last week, and the outfit will be moved to New Mexico. The Advocate was a fairly good weekly and Mr. Simms is a good fellow, but the mistake he made was in not knowing the people around him. We'll bet a dollar to a cent that we can ride over to Panther Hill and pull every nose in the town and get away all right. They are a lot of blow- hards and duffers over there, but Editor Simms permitied them to walk: all over him from the start. When they found they could pull his nose twenty times a day and not get hurt, they had regular pulling matches every day in the week. We sent him over a gun, but he looked at it with tears in his eyes and let things go right on. Had he boxed three or four men he would have doubled the value of his plant in a month and been elects mayor of the town, and perhaps gone to the Senate, but he had no sand. Not His Fault. Mr. Jim Hellso, postmaster of this town (who is ourself), regrets the little affair which happened at the post office Wednes- day afternoon, but is consoled by the knowledge that no fault of his brought it about A stranger named Barnes entered the office and began shooting through the geteral delivery window to hurry up the clerk, who was busy elsewhere for the mo- ment. There was a printed sign before Mr. Barnes’ nose that shooting was played out, but he paid no attention to it. Mr. Hellso (who 1s ourself) stepped out into the cor- ridcr and requested the shooter to desist, but he pulled a second gun and opened fire on the postmaster. He had fired three shots when he fell. It was at first thought he was fatally wounded, but the doctors row say that he will pull through and be out again in a few weeks. It is unpleasani for the postmaster to have these things occur, but when they do he is expected to get the best of them, and nas always done so thus far. Mr. Barnes freely ad- mits that it was all his own fault, and that after this ke will be content to pound cn the floor with a club or to jump on his bat and utter a wharwhoop. Out for Business. While we were returning from Jackson's Bend last Sunday afternoon we fell in with a stranger at No Man’s Creek who seemed to be out hunting jack rabbits. We had given him a few valuable hints on how best to hunt the long-eared jack, when he suddenly turned on us and held us up fcr $28 in cash, a silver watch and both our gurs. He had a big revolver looking us straight in the left eye before we had any idea that the circus had come to town, and under the circumstances we thought it best to shell out. He was a peremptory sort of critter, but courteous withal, and he gave us his word that nothing but dire necessity would have induced him to rob a newspaper man. We tried to get him to open a game of poker with us, knowing that we could win everything back on a couple of hands, but he was in a hurry and soon went his way. The sheriff went out with a posse next day and beat up the country, but the traveler was not to be found. We have nothing particular against him, as he vsed us well and said he was a regular reader and an admirer of the Kicker, but 1f we meet him again will plan to Have the hold-up on the other foot. The Pine Hill Way. Last week we announced that an indi- vidual known as “Cheerful Jim” had been lyiched by the vigilance committee at Pire Hill, and great was our surprise when he walked into the Kicker office the other day and said he was feeling as well as usual, but for a sore throat. It seems that they did hang him, but as some of th crowd were half drunk and the remainde anxicus to attend a dog fight, the job wa 20 pocrly done that the victim wriggled out of the noose and walked off. “Cheerful Jim” shouldn't have been lynched in the first place, as he simply shot a man in the foot by accident, but as long as they set out to hang him, their bungling work was a dis- grace to the whole territory. Jim says so himself, and adds that he wouldn't live in Pine Hill thirty days if they would give him the town. He can swear, chew toba co and swallow soup, but it will be a week cr so yet before he can work his throat on corn beef and potatoes. He will make his home at Giveadam Gulch hereafter, and if our people ever have occasion to pang him he will feel proud of the way it’s one. Always in the Lead. Monday morning cf last week we re- ceived direct from Chicago, and in good order, the first and cnly paper cutter ever gen in this locality, and all day long the office was crowded with interested sight- seers, each of whom had a word in praise of our enterprise. We don’t want to ap- pear vain or boastful, but we fe2l that we may be excused fcr observing that every step we have thus far taken has exhibited a spirit of enterprise totally unknown in this region before our advent. We have several more in view, and hope to continue to merit praise so liberally lavished upon cur efforts. There seems to be a general impression around town that a paper cut- ter will also cut hair and trim finger nails, but such use of it would be attended with Ganger. ——— KILLED THE BEAR. Thrilling Adventure, in Which Bruin Played in Hard Luck. “While traveling through the great Smoky mountains I met Uncle Dan Martin, who has probably killed more black bears than any other man in the south,” said a well-known Washingtonian who is fond of hunting, to a Star reporter. “I spent the night at Uncle Dan’s cabin stening to stories of the ‘varmints,’ as the old bear-killer calls them.” “Did you ever get in a very close place with a bear?” I asked. “I reckon I hev. The clostest place I ever got inter war "bout five y’ar ago, I reckon. I went acrost th’ mounting to a speakin’ an’ cum back ‘bout two hours by sun. I war thinkin’ whether It'd pay me most ter vote fer tariff ter git mo’ fer my "baccer or agin tariff ter giv less fer my clo’es, when all cf a suddent I seed a var- mint. I didn’ hev no gun, nothin’ but a pocket knife, an’ it hed both blades broke, so they wa’n’t no use. The b'ar seed me an? seemed ter sense thet I didn’t hey nothin’ with me but my fists, an’ started fer me. I seed he wa'n’t too ole ter climb trees, so I headed for a leetle tree standin’ on a ledge i'ke. We got thar "bout th’ same time, an’ I clim fas’, but he cum right along. It war a straight poplar, an’ not big ‘nuff ter hol’ a b’ar an’ a man. It be- gun ter ben’, an’ I went on higher, feelin’ th’ b’ar’s breath on my feet. Th’ tree bended over an’ I dropped ter th’ groun’, *bout ten foot below, spectin’ ter hev a han’ ter han’ fight with th’ bar. “Mebbe I wa'n’t s’prised ter see that thar tree straighten up ‘th a snap when I let go. Th’ b’ar war in jess th’ right place, an’ when th’ tree sprung back it throwed ‘im through th’ air an’ he lit squar on his head agin a big rock. He never moved, 80 I went an’ got 'im. We ate 'Im, and I sol’ his skin, but I don’t never count ‘im when tellin’ how many I've killed, fer I didn’ zackly kill ‘im. Yo’ mout say he happened ter an accerdent. SS IN A MINING TOWN. A Shoemaker Who Feared Compct tion From a Minister of the Gospe! Clergymen are frequently good story tell- ers, but as a rule, a proper dignity prevents them from wanting to appear in that light publicly. The following was narrated to a Star reporter by a popular divine: “In the days of my early ministry,” he said, “I thought it necessary to impress thoughts of salvation by everything I ut- tered, and I am afraid I was sometimes not altogether discreet. “My first work was in a western mining camp, and I had to remain over night at a rough hotel to wait for a stage to coavey me to my destination. At the table a sav- age-looking man said, gruffly: “*What might be yer line, young fellez’ “ Saving souls,’ I said, solemnly. “Ugh,” was the only response. “After supper, a coarsely-dressed man approached me and said: “Pardner, le’’s make some kind 0” dick- er. We're in ther same line, an’ thar ain’t room fer both. Thar’s a camp furder up the crick whar yo’ could do well.” “I think you are mistaken, my friend,’ I said, ‘I am a minister of the Gospel.” “ ‘Scuse me, parson; I thought yo’ was a cobbler.’ j ticn of his fondness for civilized cookery. TWO ON A STRING. THOMPSON STREET BICYCLE CLUB. A Story Told by a New York Drum- mer From Mexico. “Last April I was down in Mexico,” said a New York traveling salesman to a Star reporter, “on a business trip, and one night my partner and I had to remain over in a small place about fifty miles out of Mexico City. It wasn’t such a bad place, either, but the landlord of the hotel told us that thieves were plenty, and if they were cornered they might stick their knives into people. Our room in the little tavern was a kind of a summer house affair, out in the yard, with a door on each of two sides, and was only a few feet up from the ground on a kind of a platform veranda. We had several hundred dollars which we had collected, and the safest place we could put it was in our satchels in our reom. “For a wonder the doors had locks on them, but the upper part of the door was made in Venetian shutter style, and a man with a long arm could by stretching prob- ably reach the lock. We weren't very much afraid, and merely locked the doors with- cut Loticing the shutter part at all. Be- sides it was dark when we went to bed, as we didn’t want a Mght to attract the inrects. We slept without disturbance un- til the first gray streaks of dawn, and then we Were awakened by a queer noise at the doors. “We suspecied thieves at once, and as quiet as mice we slipped out of bed and begar to reconnoiter. When I got to my door, it kind of gave me the creeps to see a dirty yellow hand thrust through the shutter and stretching itself downward to- ward the lock, and I was tempted to yell and scare the marauder away. However, 1 kept my nerve, and in a second or two it was strangely fascinating to watch the efforts of that hand to reach the lock. My partner was having the same kind of an experience, and the thieves were evidently interding to take us ‘a-comin’ an’ a-gwine.’ “We stood irresolute for a minute, and then my partner made a sign to me to hand him an old lariat hanging on the wail. This in a second he had looped at each end and I saw the trick. The next minute we had a hand apiece looped at each end of the rope, d had pulled it Ught inside. Everything had been perfect- ly still up to this time, and now it was suiler than ever. I do not know what the thieves thought had happened to them, but they were caught, and as soon as we got the rope knotted, we let go and they dis- covered that they were tied together ani there wasn’t any way for them to get away unless one of them pulled the other threigh the knot hole, so to speak. “Then it became funny, and we sat there nearly splitting, but never making a sound. In @ minute or two more we could see an- other hand coming through with a long, ugly knife in it, trying to cut the rope holding the first hand, but we had drawn them far through, and the other hand cculd not reach. Of course, we expected now to hear a yell, and have some kicking and other Aisturbances, but the stoicism of the Indian was in them, and they never made a sound until the landlord himself spoke to them when he came to wake us up. “That was two hours or more later, and we had in the meantime gone back to bed to finish cur morning nap, trusting to luck Written for The Star by M. Quad. It was clearly evident to the sixty or more members of the Thompson Street Bicycle Club who waited for the regular weekly meeting to open that President Toots had something on his mind of considerable im- portance, He looked anxious and worried, and the routine proceedings were hurried over in @ manner to rhow that his interest Was beyond. There were various surmise of coming disaster, but no one suspected the truth until it fell from his lips as he stood up, with trembling knecs and broken voice. “My fren: said the president, as he arose in his place, “de painful dooty de- yolves upon me as president of dis club to break de news to yo’ dat Brudder Sllp- back Taylor am ro mo’ on de face of dis airth. He was, as yo’ all know, one of de charter members of dis club, an’ a man who took de greatest interest in all our pourceedings. At noon today I met him on de street an’ he was suckin’ a lemon an’ carryin’ home a porous plaster fur his back. His eyes had a furaway look, an’ I noticed dat he had a limp, but he ‘peared to be in good health an’ speerits. Two hours ago he was found hangin’ to a tree in his back ya'd at the eand of a clothesline. His wife fust thought he was playin’ a game on her to find ovt how much she luved him, but alas! the drefful truth was soon apparent. Brudder Taylor was as dead as a doah nail an’ as cold as a piece of sheet iron in Jinuary. Cause and Effect. “Was domestic onhappiness de reason fur dis tragedy?” continued the president, as he wiped away a tear. o. Things went all right at home. He was not hard up. He was not sick. He had no secret sorrow It was a plain, straight case of cause an’ effect. De bike was de cause, an’ de effect was dat he was found dead. Brudder Tay- lor was a man sixty y’ars ole. Fur de last ten y’ars he has had rheumatiz, biles, chill- blains, lame back, heart disease, arthma an’ stberal other ailments, an’ if dar had be a hundred fat an’ julcy watermillyous j: ober de fence he could not hey clumb ot to git one. I was mo’ dan surprised when he jined dis club. It didn’t seem to me dat he could eber be able to ride de wherl, but he would listen to no argyment. He jest made up his mind dat de wheel was goot fur what ailed him, an’ dat a five-mile spin befo’ breakfast would soon make a young man of him, an’ it was no use to hurt his feelin’s ober de matter. Nuffin’ has eber happened to gin me mo’ pain dan to watch de efforts of dat pore ole man to conker de wheel. He was up befo’ daylight an’ out arter dark. Sometimes he would come heme limpin’ on boaf legs—sometimes dey would bring him on a dray. He fell on his head, on his ear, on his back, on his side. He got a bruise at ebery rod, an’ be left a piece of hide on ebery block. He run into fences, street kyars, ice wagons, hacks and pedestrians, an’ vehicles of varus ts an’ that they wouldn't get away. The landlord | kinds run ober him. Policemen threatened, when he discovered them made more noise | Women wept an’ men guyed him, hut he in a minute than all four of us had made | Kept right on. He was gwine to ride dat since the act began, and when we got up | bike or die. it was to find our garden house surround- ed by half the population of tae town, and the two thieves sticking to our doors as if they had been nailed there and nobody able to get them loose.” 2 The End Finally Came. “Dis arternoon Brudder Taylor went out as usual to hev his usual struggle wid de wi He bad cocked de saddle up, soaked de chain an’ lowed up de tires, an’ de ~. . A CAPITOL EFFECT. teen’ had come to him dat success was within his reach. Nobody happened to see A Man With @ Notion His Hend | what follow It am Paaae howeber, Undergoes a Change. Sas shen of tis s he As a Star reporter waited at the Balti- mount. Befo" dat he had more and Potomac station for a train rop into de saddle. from New York an accommodation from the south came in, and one of the pas: When he riz on en- | his toe his bike gers from it ambled along up to the gates | kin trace it by s and came head on to the man waiting for | buttons it cantery somebody cise. He was a sh <aheed shee hairy-faced, — thin-necked, — store-clothed, | "Sal anxlous-looking sort of a chap, ana the reporter was undecided at first whether his “find” was a knave or a fool, and he wasn't long finding out. laundry wagon j wall. Brudder ground wid ! Vis head driven “Bay.” sald the new arrival with that | at ¢cy couldnt find his neck | friendly familiarity any stranger uses on | P'S of fee on | z 4 @ reporter, some way by intuition, for | = ; there is no outward evidence that a re- | SUCK to @ rock porter is what he is—‘“say, I'm lookin’ for | the Capitol of the United States. You've got it in tnis town, haven't you?’ ya'd an’ de next seen of him “I presume you mean the Capitol build- —. He on . a seently « con- ing,” replied the reporter with becoming | (uy Gal Oe bike w He dignity. 2d planned an ; ion “The same,” said the new arrival, with | a7 bin too much nim. lin’ the accent on tne first word. “Will you | 24 life widout de bike would be a dreary tell me how to get there from hers waste, an devil sum up his mind “Right out through this building and on | #t last det he was a bee a out the street till you come-to the wide | "008 ober his head an” I street beyond, and turn to your right. The eH Pig ig Face pales ape : erga way you may walk or ride, as | {'") Si ae Ui saggy ‘The man was apparently in no hurry, | Ta¥lor was sot in his wa t ihe ve 7 good man an’ a loyal f ch member por he BHOwen @ disposition to linger and | rae: club will wear de 1 badge of Sats es Sawa mournin’ fur de next thirty days, an’ de asked, * Tsht Pig bulldin:, ain't st?” he | cm of $3) will be sent to de gricvin” wid opr ey a der to help pay funeral expenses, oe en it cost something like Gone on Their Bikes, ‘ofty or fifty millions of dollars, and the | «ay> y eatber etasiea . taxpayers had to pay for it,” and there giaegd = Riggiegifscen dt gos densh was a disagreeable tone in his voice. news fur de members of dis clr contin- “What's the difference what it cost?’ | ued the president, after a pause. “Last said the reporter. great country, it pretty good. The man grew visibly excited. “That's what I’m here fer,” he said, fiercely. “I'm getting ready ‘some cam- paign speeches for the populist party, and I thought if I'd come here to the capital of the nition and see what extravagance there has been here I could talk sense to “It is the Capitol of this night Brudder Sundown Smith an’ de wife and we can afford to have of Grudder State Rights Thompson went cut for a spin in de gloamin’. Deir lamps was lighted, deir chains dooly greased, an’ dey carned aiong de usual forty-two wrenches, oil cans an’ oddcr implements of repair. De gloamin’ gloamed, an’ as dey rode away de fireflies flew about an’ de the down-trodden and oppressed people of | Whippoorwill sang his song of love. Brud- my party and all others that has been | der Thompson put de chillen to bel, an’ bearin’ the burdens of the rich all these | den sot up an’ waited wid his feet in a tub years. Right here in this one buildin’ | of water. De clock struck ‘leben an’ twelve there has been enough of the people's | 2n’ one an’ two, but his wife 1 not. money spent to buy farms fer hundreds and | Ye hours crept slowly on, an n day- set them up in comfortable homes. It's a | light cum an’ she was still missin’ he shame and a outrage, sir, and the hand of | knocked at my doah. We consulted de the sufferin’ people should shut on the | police, an’ visited de morgue, an’ it was throat of their despoilers, sir. This nation | three hours befo’ we learned de truth. ain't a nation for rich people, and there | Brudder Sraith and Sister Thompson had never was any use of that kind of a | sloped, an’ befo’ daylight were thirty miles buildin’ for the government to be carried | away an’ still pedalin’. Dis am de fust on in. I've never saw it, and I'm here to | case of sloperment on de bicycle, white or take a look and go back and tell my peo- | black, to be recorded in de history of de ple the plain facts in the case, sir. Where | world, an’ while our sympathies may go did you say I'd go to find it? out fur de stricken husband, we can’t help The train from New York had come in | but fe leetle proud ober de sarcum- and the friend the reporter was looking | stance. Brudder Smith had only ¥ cents for did not arrive. in his pocket when dey started, an’ we may “Come with me,” he sald to the gentle- | recken on seein’ boaf of ‘em wie week man from Popville, “and I'll show you.” | or so. Dey will, of co’se, be expelled from The man grew more vindictive as he | de club, but if Brudder Thompson Fin 0 walked along and he was hot as cotton | look de matter an’ take his wife back we when they reached the avenue. “There's the Capitol,” said the reporter, pointing to the east. Possibly It was that the sun fell pecu- shan’t hev a word to say. It was pr cng ago dat de day would cum wh bike would be used fur jist sich purposes, an’ while de majority of us smiled at de larly upon the building at the moment or | ideah we hev now got our eyes opened, an’ it may merely have seemed so, but the | kin take proper h Do res: of great white dome, set between its pillared | yo’ kin do as yo’ please, but as fur me, T wings, appeared to float above the green | either ride ou wid Mrs. Toot when de of the earth Into the blue of the sky and | gloamin’ comes an’ de whippoorwill sings, to stand out beyond and above the city as | or she #' 's at home an” puts de chillen to if it were not made with finite hands, but had taken on the spirit of the infinite and set itself as a seal forever in the heavens. The reporter, as often as he had seen the building, was impressed with the beauty of it, and he turned to the stranger with him. For fully two minutes the man stood gazing upward as if looking into the sky, but his eyes were on the dome. Then he gulped as if swallowing something. “God forgive me,” he sald with quiver- ing lips. “I didn’t know that anything out of heaven cculd look like that, and I'm goin’ back to my people down there where Wwe ought to know better, and I'm goin’ to tell them we've got the greatest gover’- ment on earth, and we've got to stand more taxes, if it’s necessary, to keep a single hinge from fallin’ off or a palin’ from comin’ lcose. Much obliged to you; ecod-bye,” he concluded, “I’m goin’ right back home on that next train,” and he broke for the station. aE HE WAS GAME. bed an ‘picks up de codfish fur breakfast. Not dat I hevn’t confidence in her an’ do members of dis club, but bekase dar am no tellin’ what sort of a new tdeah dat bike am gwine to bring out next, an’ a prudent man am allus prepared fur all emergencies. We will now adjourn.” —<—<—_—— HE GOT EV! A Virginia Justice Who Had a Gradge Against Washington. A Washington man who had some bust- ness before one of the smaller courts in @ Virginia county went down there on a recent Saturday to attend to it. He found the judge before whom the matter came, and as it was a merely pro forma proceed- ing he had no anticipation of» trouble in getting it done. When the matter was presented the judge said: “No, sah; if I transact that business for you I will have to open co't, and I will not open co’t for any Washington man on Saturday. Why not? city man. . “Because, sah, I went down to Washing- ton on a Saturday not long ago and not a sirgle judge was sitting in the co't. I am an attorney, sah, an attorney ar yonypind etic Vashington co'ts, and yet be- Jess, good natured fellow, was a frequent | PINS? was a Saturday Iwas not allowed visitor at farm houses in the neighborhood, | to practice there, sah, when I had some where he used every means at his com- | vital points to make, sah.” = mand, except work, to secure the gratifica- | “Well, I am not blamed for that,” said the man from Washington, “you ought not to hold me responsible for what the judges do or do not do.” “It makes no difference, sah, you are a part of the system, a devilish bad system, sah, and you must help to reform ft, sah, and you are the first man I have had op- portunity to impress my views upon, and I am going to make them felt. Go nome and reform your system of Saturday co’ts, and then come to me, sah.” And Virginia got e with Washingten in one case. An Indian’s First Experience With White Man’s Condiment: My sister and I taught school one win- ter in adjoining districts in Brown county, Kan., close to the reservation of the Kick- apoo Indians. One member of the tribe, old Joe, a shift- asked the astonished capital He was taken in to dinner one day by a kind-hearted fariner at the hotel of the little country town. Joe noticed there, among other things, that the men all made free with the pepper sauce bottle. At the first opportunity he helped himself to a liberal portion, and took a spoonful of the mixture. Instantly clapping his hand over his burning mouth he sat for a little time with tears running down his face. As soon as he could catch his breath he exclaimed: “Heap good!” -