Evening Star Newspaper, November 9, 1895, Page 17

THE EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 1895—-TWENTY-FOUR PAGES, 17 DRINKING IN PARIS Various Reasons Why the Parisians Tipple Rather Than Get Drunk. VICTIMS OF THE ABSINTHE FOISON Measures Discussed to Check the Evil of the Drink Habit. TOO MUCH LIBERTY Correspondence of The Evening Star. PARIS, October 27, 1895. HE PICTURE OF | the young man, mid- dle-aged or old man deliberately going on a drunk does not pre- sent itself in Paris, unless he be a Rus- sian, a German, a Dutchman, a Belgian, an Englishman or an American. We, An- glo-Saxons perform wonders in that spe- cial line, dazzling the native alcoholics themselves, who have another way of drink- ing. The Parisian does not get drunk for various reasons. If there were no other, his personal vanity would check him. The dread of appearing ridiculous, particularly in the presence of women—and women are everwhere and everything in Paris--forbids him to let reason cease to hold her sway. Only the factory workmen of the suburbs and the unruly artisans of the town go on big tears. Instead, Parisians tipple. And tippling has its hours and places, its various drinks and their accessories. The effect is none the less deplorable, it is only less ugly. I think most of us, on reflection, would prefer the hon- est American booby who gets roaring drunk on Saturday night, has a headache on Sunday morning, and goes to work on Monday clean and straight; or even the gentlemanly whisky drinker, with his rye or bourbon (drinks so loathesome that they Bitters on the Boulevard. must be quickly washed down with water) and his cocktails on the way home in the evening to make him bright and fresh and appetizing for his wife. We would prefer these brave men, though they smell so bad, to the Parisian tippler, twitching on his bed at night from coffee, vermouths, liqueurs, absinthes and the. various bitters, petulant and flighty, brilliant and unstable, capri- cious, emotional, given to sudden enthusi- asms and depressions, a real neurotic crea- ture, trembling while he smiles. His morning coffee is his bracer, a strong drink, though half hot milk, and having «small affinity to what we know as family coffee in America. He will not touch any other drink till 11 a.m. unless he be far gone, indeed. But when the clock strikes 11 it is time. I do not speak of drunkards, but of the great Paris average, in all quarters. On the other side of the river the students are at their lectures, the shopkeepers are at their business, the clerks are at their desks. So in the quarter of the boulevard, examine the great cafes which the tourist learns to know. They will be empty. But when the hour of 11 a.m. strikes in the nervous cap- ital there come the signs of lull and calm, as if a mother’s hand were stroking the tired head, as if a mother’s voice were whisper- ing, “Peace, enough.” It is much to be feared that this soft mother dresses green, and that I love my love with an “ not only because she is aromatic. How Absinthe is Used. The only civilized way of takiag absinthe is as follows: (1) Go to a first-class saloon, where you can sit down, where there is something pleasant to look at, and if you can look out a window on a nice street scene, so much the better; (2) insist on having the Pernod, the Cusenier being too strong for beginners and the absinthe of Neuchatel—if these be the three most im- ported into America—being of an unusual color, flavor and effect. You will have to take the usual precautions against Ameri- can fabrications and adulterations. @) Have the barkeeper pour you out, in a large goblet, a wineglassful of the poison (two “pony” or liqueur glasses will do), then fill the goblet up with water to the brim. The green absinthe will turn to a sage color, muddy, whiten, and then settle down to an unnamabdle tint or mixture of tints. French Vermouth. @ semi-transparent liquid, with opalescent glints of blue, green, yellow, and even flashes or suggestions of a fiaming ver- milion in the bright sunlight—though per- haps this latter may be imagination. But it should rot settle down to a thick yellow. ‘That would be having ft too strong, tco dangerous. In such a case the thoughtful absinthe drinker will carefully drink off a third of the glass and fill it up with wa- ter, in order to obtain a mere hygienic combination. All these hitters, vermouths and absin- thes are ranked together, in composition, pleasurable eff: ‘and ‘sociological and pathological interest, absinthe being only the strongest. From 1885 to 1802 the amount of absinthe and similar drinks cor- ing under the observation of the excise authorities of Paris was more than dou- bled. Not only that, but the rate of in- crease, at the end of these seven years, had itself doubled, the yearly increase being now ly 500,000 gallons. The total an- nual consumption in Paris ts about 3,600,000 gallons, or more than two gallons for each member of the adult population. They Have Other Drinks. Do not the Parisians drink anything but @rugs? Indeed they do. There is the wine at dinner, the coffee and the little glass, You drink aperitifs before meals, wine dur- ng meals and Mqueurs after meals. The most popular Kirsch, Kummel and Benedictine, though there are innumerable varieties, some prom- ising a peculiar rejuvenation, some curing all ills in general, others flaunting coaco, tea, kola, quinine and other speoialties. liqueurs are Chartreuse, None are looked on as at all harmful. They are very sweet and thick and aromatic. They are taken without water, in tiny glasses. They are rather to handle and play with than to drink. And they are supposed to be innocent drinks to order at a cafe in the evening. There is cognac (brandy, rum, Calvados (apple-jack), mare (a species of rough Bur- gundian bitndy), eau-de-vie from plums, peaches and other fruits, a variety of elixirs and tonic wines, strong wines from Spain and the south of France and Sicily, German beer, champagne and American mixed drinks, These cover the ordinary, usual cousuniption, though they pretend that in Paris you may have everything. I would rather hunt for it in London. With all of these aperitif drinkers have little to do. ‘To show the real character of the alcohols new made in France, it is sufficient to set down from the special government report in 1893 the relative proportions of the materials frcm which they are manufactured. First and by far is the beet root; second, native raolasses (also beet); third, farinaceous sub- stances (grains); fourth, foreign or colonial molasses (sugar cane), and only fifth, rep- resenting less than flve per cent of the whole, all the wines (it was a famous wine year), cider and perry, pressed grapes, lees Real Wine. (marc) and fruits of all kinds, which are used in the manufacture of alcohol. Yet this latter class of materials (with all due respect for the English and American belief in liquor made from grains) is the only one likely to give an alcohol which is not directly injurious. All this is fairly well known to the Parisians, who read the papers with commendable regularity, until they be- gin to sneer even at their own wxxes. With- in the past week I have heard two Sy=uth ladies express their opinion that if you want gcod French wine you had best go to Brus- sels or London for it. It is understood that for every Paris tip- pler there are two or three or a haif dozen, for all we know, respectable Parisians who do not frequent cafes, who do not drink nervous drinks, who stick to wine and beer. Some of the Safeguards. The balance, the people one sees drinking in public (about 2,500,000, as far as the pres- ent writer can judge) have a set of special safeguards to impede the scandalous abuse of such dangerous drinks. 1. The presence of ladies. I do not speak of the new woman, who has always ex- isted, since the days of Sappho, or, if that is too much, Aspasia. I mean ordinary wo- men, plain women, nice women, ladies even, as well aa the others. Wherever men go in Paris, there their wives may go with them. There will be nearly always as many wo- men in a cafe or brasserie as men. You do rot want to be drunken-silly before la- dies, do you? You cannot get into conversa- tion with strangers and ask them to take a drink and then be treated in return if there are ladies in the party? The ladies of any small town or district in America have it in their power to purify the sa- loons, were they not too lazy, too little- caring and too proud. Let them form a union to send off relays of their numbers every night to every saloon in the district, there to sit and drink hot milk with a lump of sugar in it, as they do in Pari: 2. The French have a habitual self-con- trol in drinking. Even when they are feel- ing very nervous, they conceal it. The Parisians are laughed at as being nervous and excitable. So they are—but if Amer- {cans had half the nerves they would be yelling ‘Fire!’ 3. The worst drinks have their regular hours. You only drink the absinthes, ver- mouths and bitters before meals. They are never taken after meals, except by lost souls and sodden workingmen. Quick “tanking up” is impracticable, except at an “American bar’’or ata plebelan wine shop, which it is like social death to be seen entering. In all respectable places people sit down to drink. 4. Thus sitting there are special distrac- tions to take the attention from constant drinking: (a) ail the newspapers, daily and illustrated, furnished free; (b) the games of dominoes, chess, checkers; (c) card games, and all the gambling you please. With these, used cards are furnished free; if you want new cards, you pay for them; (@) the privilege of looking at the ladies, and commenting on their charms of person and attire; and (e) the “terrace,” which is sitting on the open str2et under an awnink and looking at the crowd ga by. 5. The recent introduction and immense growing popularity of German beer (from Munich). This is due to no newspaper talk, to no philanthropic movement. It ts a nat- ural movement of trade, called for by the nerves of Parisians. Every absinthe drink- er who hopes to continue living and not die miserably must, so to speak, go out to grass from time to time, must take a re- tredt, must stop to look after his brain. One is doing it this week, another next week, another next month. German beer is his opportunity. The brandy drinker stops now and ther. Beer is his swear- off. Reform Talked Of. With all this the people are uneasy, and things look black in France. Whatever may be said against the present French republic, it has labored to establish a Utopian liberty of the individual with re- spect to his personal actions. This search for liberty has been constantly misunder- stood and abused, at home and abroad. And in no phase of the activity of the citizen is the abuse becoming more ap- Parent than in.that which has to do with alcohol. Heretofore the {dea has been that just as the smallest peasant with hjs three apple trees shall have Mberty to freely dis- till and every shopkeeper have liberty to freely sell, so shall every youth and maiden have liberty to freely buy and drink and every drunken individual have liberty to whcop and sing. Being possessed of these Ubertles, fraternities and equalities, each citizen ought to be held responsible for his misuse of them. This punishment after the fact is now beginning to be looked on as insufficient. From 1881 down to the present month Propositions of reforms monumental in their completeness and scientific character have been submitted to the public and to legislators. Pascal Duprat in 1881, Claude (senator of the Vosges) in 1887 and Jamais in 1889 have said well nigh everything. The late President Carnot was author of another report, and so have been ex-Min- isters Rouvier and Peytral. And the pres- ent year has seen (besides the congress in Switzerland) the congress of Bordeaux, a three-weeks’ debate in the chamber of Geputies and conclaves of the Academy of Medicine, the Academy of Moral and Po- litical Sciences and the Superior Council of Public Assistance of Paris. The latest proposition of law has five planks: First—To reduce the number of places where alcoholic drinks are sold. Second—To make as low as possible all taxes on beer and cider, while exercising a supervision over the quality of those drinks. Third—To tax wine moderately and to take measures against its harmful adulter- ation, Fourth—To increase the tax on spiritous lquors @nd to allow in commerce only. that which 1s hygienically pure. Fifth—To absolutely prohibit absinthe and similar aperitifs in which the essential oils exercise a pernicious influence on the hu- man organism. Being thus documented, as they say In French, let us take a glass of California claret, well watered, and pass on. STERLING HEILIG. Indorsed by all, Dr. Bull's Cough Syrup. WELL-KNOWN NAMES Washingtonians Who Have Gone on the Professional Stage. THEIR CAREERS WERE STARTED HERE A Diversity of Talent That Has Se- cured Recognition. PAST AND PRESENT HE RECENT E Bagement of Mr. Stuart Robson at the Lafayette Square Opera House, and the publication of a brief interview with him in which it was stated that he set type for some of the first issues of The Evening Star, brings to mind the large number of people who have gone from Washington upon the professional stage. Of course but few of them have attained the extended reputation which Mr. Robson enjoys, but some have won renown, and an examination into their record shows that nearly every Washingtonian who has sought place either upon the dramatic, operatic, minstrel or variety stage has done creditable work. Mr. Robson's first efforts were with an amateur association here. One of his early professional attempts was the part of Armand in Camille, which he essayed at the old Iron Hall on Pennsyl- vania avenue between 9th and 10th streets, which has recently be2n remodeled, and is now occupied by E. F. Droop & Sons. In this he made a dire failure, and came to the conclusion his forte was not in leading business. His subsequent work in stock companies and later as a comedian are too well known to need comment. A Washingtonian who nas made quite as extended a reputation, though in a differ- ent line of business, is Billy Emerson, the minstrel. Emerson's mother kept a little Photographic establishment on Market | space, and Billy was a lively young boy | who had an idea of dancing almost as soon as he could walk. He was given his first opportunity at a public benefit at Coomb's Hall, now occupied by the Salvation Army, | and he made a distinct hit in a song and dance. He was the pioneer in that graceful style of song and dance, which was so popular for years in minstrelsy, and his reputation for singing the “Big Sunflower,” “Are You There Moriarity?’ and the “Broadway Squad” has never been equaled. They Have Gained Renown. In still another field is a Washingtonian whose fame is now probably greater than any other man in his line. He has become known as the march king, and John Philip Sousa is now upon the high road to fortune. | His carly attempts were in this city under the strict tuition of his father, and his little | arms were often tired from practicing the violin by the light of a single tellow candle. | He first played the violin in an orchestra, and then became an orchestral conductor. He was engaged as such when he returned to his native city as leader of the Marine Band, an organization of which his father was a member and in which he once playex the snare drum. That was Mr. Sousa’s op- | portunity and he improved it to its fullest | extent. He developed qualities as a band | master that made it possible for him to or- ganize and successfully control the splendid band of which he is now the head. Amcng those who have attained perhaps the widest eminerce on the stage are Kob- ert Downing, who has for many years been a successful star in legitimate roles; Charles B. Hanford, who is starring in the same Hue with profit, and Wilton Lackeye, whose marvelous work as Svengali has perhaps been more widely commented upon than that of any other actor, stock or star. Tim Murphy is another who went from Wash- ington to the dramatic stage, and his Maver- ick Brander in the ‘Texas Steer” is known throughout the country from Boston to’ Fris- co. Crypti Palmoni, who was with Mr. Rob- son, and who did some excellent character work, is well remembered here, and Mr. Georg C. Hazelton, jr., has recently been brought into prominent notice as the author of th drama “Edgar Allan Poe,” which has been presented by Mr. Creston Clarke. The Magician Heller. One Washingtonian who acquired a repu- tation, both in this country and in Europe, but who ts hardly known to the present gen- | eration, was Heller, the magician. His real’ name was Palmer, and he was for many years the organist at the Church of the! Epiphany. It is said that before he went into the profession he used to practice his tricks during the sermon, and divided with the rector the attention of the choir by his feats of sleight of hand. Heller was a re- markably successful magician, all his tricks being done with great neatness. He was one of the first to introduce the second sight. His performances were varied always by piano selections, and as he was a remark- ably fire performer, playing with great ex- pression and feeling, there were many who preferred this part of the program to his feats of legerdemain. In opera this city has furnished some excellent people, notably Miss Lizzie Mac- Nichol, the contralto; Pauline Montegriffo, also a contralto, who was for many successful in opera and concert, but’ who has left the stage since her marriage with Sig. Maina; her brether, Sig. Montegriffo, the tenor; Frank Baxter, Herndon Morsell and Ed. Hoff, also tenors; William Pruett, cne of the best baritones now on the stage; Eva Mills, who was the original Josephine in “Pinafore” in this country, and who successfully starred for a year; Minnie Ewan, who made her debut abroad, and who has lived on the other side most of the time since; Addie Randall, who made such a remarkable success as Nancy in the first amateur opera that was ever pro- duced in this city, and who has since been at the head of several successful compa- nies; Helen Lamont, who, as Miss Nellie Lemon, will be remembered as having first started in the Trinity Church choir, and Marle Decca, whose career is too recent to require extended notice. On the Concert Stage. Some who have won reputation on the concert stage are Leonora von Stosch and Maud Powell, violinists; Harriette Whiting and Ruth Thompson, contraltos; Fielding Roselle, mezzo soprano; Mary Kimball, pianist; Juliana May, soprano; Helen Lam- bert, soprano; Mrs. Ernest Lent, Lotta Mills, John Porter Lawrence and Fred. Lillibridge, pianists, and the Leach sisters. Others who have been and are in opera are Bertie Crawford, Carrie Pryor, Alice Johnson, Kitty Thompson Berry, Delia Stacey, Jennie Sunderland, Charlies Sker- rett, S. W. Keen, Hub. Smith, L. P. Sie- bold, the De Witt sisters, Frank Pearson, Harry Forsman, Hans Robert, Walter Coan, Homer Lind, Hamilton Adams, Vir- ginia Evans and Alice Judson, who has just engaged with Hinrichs. Among the ladies who have won success upon the dramatic stage the most notable is Minnie Maddern Fiske, and following her are Annie Lewis, Lavinia Shannon, K4therine Lucille Foote, Annie D. Ware, Annie Warren Story, Ella Stockton, Bessie Tyree, Clara Cole, Marguerite Saxton, Jane Stuart, Rose Bregazzi, Lora Thorne, Marie Drofnah, Lillian Lawrence, Mrs. M. E. Norris, Hattie McConnell, Sallie Harbaugh, | Eva Henderson, Daisy Hammack, Mamie Wallace, Bettie Ordway (row known as Bettina Girard), Ellen Vockey, Jessie Car- lisle, Ethel Sprague, Minnie Frye, Elsie Lower, Nellie Rosebud. J. Remington Fairlamb, Dr. E. S. Kimball and Sol. Minster have been successful con- ductors of orchestra, and the latter has won reputation as a solo violinist. As man- agers and actors there have been and are Bert Riddle, David I. Towers, James Ma- honey, Harold Fosherg, Walker J. Dennis, Thad and Giles Shine, T. D. Frawley, Frank Groff (Harry Gilfoil), Herbert Patee, David Cc. Bangs, John Palmoni, Harry and George Buckingham, George ‘Buckler, Geoffrey Stein, Benson H. Pierce, Geo. W. Lynch, J. Clarence Harvey, Jos. H. Hazleton, James Lackeye, Wm. Boag, A. H. Burton, Thos. Coleman, John Murphy, James F.’ Joyce, Walter and J, Macnichol, Bert Downing, J. Wirt Kail, Clarence Bellaire, J. P. Tucker, E. F. Ten Eyck, Bertram Temple, Robert Lowe, E. M. Hoyt, George Parkhurst, L. J. lin class C, that plays all the time and | said, with a little break in her voice—and | Harbaugh, E. A. McPowell, Richard Buhler, Wilbur Sharpe, Robt. Smiley, W. B. Loomis, W. H. Dupont, Nat. M. Wills, Tony Cum- mings, George Graham, Geo: Truesdell. Of those who went to the minstrel and variety stage were-John O. Pugh, who started as a boy balladist, and became one of the best end men in-tho business; Harry Blacklock, of Shaffér and Blakeley: David Walling, of Reynolds and Walling; Billy Williams, negro comedian; Alf. Christie, of Christie and Pearl, the Waterbury Brothers and Howard Leigh. Se . OVERHEARD ie WHE STABLES. oy An Episode of a Bicycle Ride Cleverly Narrated. From Life. Scene: The storage’toom for bicycles— midnight. No. 40—A gentleman's wheel, high frame, No. 41—A lady’s wheel. 2 Forty: I am awfuily tired. That was a hard run they gave us this evening. Forty-one (petulantly): And it’s all the fault of your master. Before he came I had a nice, easy time here in the shade, and got to be quite chummy with the grooms and the horses. Forty (patronizingly): Oh, it's a cinch riding with a lady. wheel. When the boss and I are alone we are scorchers—but since I've been down here with you we've simply loafed along nice shady lanes and stopped at pretty brooks, and regularly dawdled away the time. Forty-one: Why, you just said that we'd had a hard ride this evening! Forty: That's different. (Confidenttally) Say, my dear, something must have hap- pened tonight... They never said a word to each other for the last ten miles, but raced home as hard as they could go in the moon- light. My sprocket fairly aches, Forty-one: And I broke a spoke. (Medi- tativety) Well, I think I could gess what happened. Fcrty: You always know too much. (Con- cating) What happened? Forty-one: Do you remember when we stopped on the top of the hiii that overlooks the ocean, and the moon rolled out of it on its golden tire? Well, when they leaned us up against the fence, you went to sleep, but I listened. Forty (gruffly): You did not hear much. For a week they’ve been very stupid com- pany—just keep looking at each other out of the corners of their eyes, and hold hands going down hills. I’m going to give them a spill the next time they try that game. Ferty-one (spitefully): Don’t be too fresh, or you may eet sold, and sent away from me. I overheard him say something about buying a tandem in October. Forty (startled): What, a tandem! Why, he simply detested riding with a woman until we came here; said that they always wanted the best road and crept along like ualls, ‘orty-one: Well, my mistress changed his mind for him. Do you ever catch him going out without her now? Forty (regretfully): No—puncture him! (Which is the worst swear word a bicycle can use.) What did they say anyhow on the h ll-top? Forty-one: I only caught little bits of it, for the tree tops were making a singing noise, but he was in a very bad humor and she was having fun teasing him. I know her moods from her eyes. This time she was in for fun, and did not care how it_hurt him. Forty (indignantly): He’s too good for her—can do his twelve miles an hour all qi -one: What did they say? Oh, he looked sort of silly, and made some remark about the moonlight brightening up the whole dark ocean, just as her smile bright: | ened up his gloomy life. Fort; The hypocrite! He never had 2 better time in his life than for a year past —long before he ever met her. Forty-one: You need not She saw right through him—looked at him sort of saucy like and said, “It's a pity about your gloomy life. You look so pale and thin! (He weighs 180 and is as red as a lobster) Why don’t you try réal work for a change It’s a better of sunshine than my smile, which IT y wear for everybody because I have white teeth.” Forty (ringing his bell): She hit him there. He hasn't done a stroke of work snee his governor died and left him a for- tune. Forty-one: Then he did get mad! He swore that he would prove to her yet that a man was not necessarily a fool because he had money; that all brainy men did not wear spectacies and dowdy clothes; that a fellow who went in for. athletics and sport in addition to a moderate amount of work was a better combination to tie to for life than a thinking machine Wwithgsreat ideas and a bad digestion. Forty: Good for the boss! There’s some- thing in that. Forty-one: Qh, yes. She admitted it, but said that the trouble with him is that he dces not belong to either class A or B. He's never works. Forty (ringing up another hit): Pretty clever little woman that, if she can't ride up_a big hill. Forty-one: Then he said she was a cruel, unthinking girl, who put on airs because she had gone to college—but he vowed by the great white moon that he'd marry her yet, and make her respect as well as love him. “E never told you I loved you!” she just then she jumped in the saddle and rode me homes ten’ miles, like a mad witch. : And they never spoke a werd in the whole ten miles. That settles it—no ndem in ours. ‘Shorty-one: Don’t be too sure. Just as the groom led us down the lawn, I saw her in the moonlight turn on the top step, and say demurely, “Wouldn't it be great fun to. ride a tandem cn a night like this in October | dcwn the valley of the Loire?” And he caught her hand and said, “You are a witch, but I love you!” Ss The Humorist’s Lament. Quixotic is his enterprise and Lopeless his adven- ture Is, ws x ‘Who seeks for Jocularities that haven't yet been said. . ‘sie The world has joked incessantly for over fifty cen- i ‘y joke that’s possible had long ago been as a humorist with lots of mental fSizzi- I started ness, - af But Humor is a drug which it’s the fashion to abus For my s Will of the business, No reasonable offer I am likely to refuse. And if anybody choose He may circulate the news ‘That no reasonable offer 1 am likely to refuse. Ock In trade, my fixtures and -the good On, bappy was the humorist; the first that made a yun at all, Who, when a joke occurred to him, however poor and mean, Was absolutely certain that it-never had been done at all How popular at dinners must that humorist have be ys when some stepfather for a query held a handle out, The, door mat from zhe scraper It ts distant very rar. And when no one knew where Moses was when Aaron put @he candle out, And no one had discovered that 2 door could be a-jar! But your modern hearers are In their tastes particular, And they sneer if you inform them that a door can be a- In search of quip and quiddity, I've sat all day, alone, xpart, And all that T could bit om as a problem was—to nd Analogy between a scrag of, mutton and a Bony- pact, Which caters slight employtient to the speculative mind; For you cannot call it yery good, however great ‘your charit : It's He the sort of humor that is greeted with a shout— And I've come to the conclusion that the mine of jocularity In present Anno Domini, js worked completely out. Though the notion you inay, scout, Lean prove beyond a doubt! : Sean hat the mine of jocularity 1s utterly worked out. ~ —W. 3. GILBERT. Moon Too High for Cammack. From the New York Herald. Addison Cammack, as‘ every one knows, j is almost the most consistent “bear” in the stock exchange. The other night he was walking up Sth avenue with a friend after dark. ‘What a glorious moon,” said his friend. Yes,” said Cammack; “but too high, too high Beaten by a yard length.—Life. A TELEPHONE DID IT/I$ DRIVING OUT DISEASE A Unique Capture by an Ingenious Post Office Detective, CRIME AT LETTER RATES Scoundrels Who Use the Mails for Illegitimate Purposes. MAIL ROBBERIES INCREASING —S HE LAST YEAR has been a_ great i I year for the detec- tives of the Post ar Office Department. ‘They have perform- ed a number of ex- ploits extraordinary even in the history of their corps, which is the police of the mail service. “One of ‘these in particu- lar had features so remarkable that the story might be imagined to be the crisis chapter of a romance by Old Sleuth, rath- er than an episode in real life. A New York attorney sent an obscene letter through the mail to a young lady. She showed it to her husband, hardly un- derstanding its contents. The motive of the letter seemed inexplicable. Certain points of evidence led the husband to fix the re- sponsibility upon the right man. He called on the attorney and accused kim to his face. The interview toox place in the private office of the lawyer. The latter not only acknowledged his guilt, but actually taunted the enraged husband with his impotence to secure redress, His con- fession, as he well knew, could not be used against him with any effect, inasmuch as it would be offset by his own flat denial in court. The husband found himsclf in a quan- dary. Apparently, there was no way to prove the case against his cowardly enemy. It occurred to him at last to refer the mat- ter to the post office authorities, inas- much as the sending of an obscene letter through the mails is a criminal offense. A skilled government detective was put on the case, and it was he who suggested an entirely novel means by which the requi- site evidence might be secured. The im- portant feature of his plan was a miniature telephone, specially constructed for the purpose. The transmitter of the tele- phone was hidden in the top of a siik hat, which was intended to be worn by the husband. This attorney evinced a willingness end even a desire to be interviewed by the of- fended husband on the subject of the out- rage which he had committed. All that he required was that the intervi should be conducted in his private office, where there could be no witnesses. It was this weakness of his that destroyed him, The Miniature Telephone. How could he know that his victim, com- ing to see him one fire morning, had the transmitter of a miniature telephone con- cealed in his high hat and a little battery in his waistcoat pocket? Why should he have imagined that this apparatus was connected with an almest invisible insulated gold wire which had been noiselessly unreeled when the injured husband entered the pri- vate office? How was it to be conceived that a post office detective was at the other end of the wire in the outer office? The private office was not well lighted and the silk-bound wire was not noticed by the fox, who for the nonce had become the hare.. It did not interfere with the shut- ung and locking of the door. The detec- tive outside held at his car the receiver of the telephone, being thus enabled to hear the whole conversation. It furnished the evidence desired, which was sufficient to obtain the conviction of the wicked at- torney. When confronted by the inspector with a statement of what he had over- heard and an exhibition of the means em- ployed, the lawyer at once made a full confession. ‘The business of distributing obscene liter- ature and pictures through the mails has been carried on hitherto almost with im- punity. Such matter is sent out chiefly from New York and Chicago. The Post Office Department is making every effort to suppress this abominable industry, so well calculated to corrupt the morals of the young of hoth sexes. During the last year many persons engaged in it have been suc- cessfully prosecuted, the sentences imposed ranging from three to elght years. Postal Robberies, The official records of the Post Office De- partment show that the practice of robbing mail coaches and railway postal cars is steadily increasing. Train robbers have grown more bold,and,whereas formerly they plied their vocation in remote and isolated parts of the country, they do not now hesitate to operate in the oldest states and near the largest cities. Statistics on this subject covering the last ten years are more than ordinarily interesting. In 1885 bur- glars broke into 459 post offices; in 1895 more than three times that number of post offices were robbed—1,561 in all. In 1885 eighty-nine post office burglars were arrested; the nomber captured in 1895 was 463. During 1895 fifty-four mail trains and mail coaches have been held up and rob- bed, sixty-nine letter boxes have been pil- laged and 776 mail pouches have been !os! cut or stolen. Such depredations are stead- ily increasing. Ingenious Green Goods Men. The detectives of the Pest Office Depart- ment have been doing some great work re- cently the suppression of the green goods business. Heretofore the operators of this kind of swindle have been located in the east, and chiefly in New York ‘city. Finding the metropolis too hot to hold them recently, they have established headquar- ters in the west. Three gangs, one located at Oakland, Cal., one at Hillsdale, Mich., and one at Chicago, have been broken up through the efforts of the government hawkshaws. One of the most enterprising of the gangs had headquarters at Sacra- mento and Oakland. It added some new features to the old fraud. Letters and cir- culars were sealed, addressed and stamp- ed; but, instead of depositing them in the mails, the swindlers themselves canceled the stamps with bogus postmarks, after which the envelopes were cut or torn open. This gave the letters the appearance of having been regularly mailed, received and opened by the addressees. The letters were then dropped about in cities and small towns where they would be likely to be picked up by prospective victims. A person finding one of these letters would naturally infer that it had been re- ceived, opened and lost by the addressee. It was intended that the finder should then .avail himself of the opportunity to obtain for a small price counterfeit money printed from stolen goyernment plates and indis- tinguishable from -the genuine. One ad- vantage of this idea was that it did not render the operators amenable for violation of the postal laws. However, the subse- quent correspondence with the victims was carried on through the mails. It was an ingenious scheme, and to con- viet the criminals was no easy matter. Post office detectives entered into corres. pondence with the swindlers, and the let- ters which the latter wrote were photo- graphed, to be held for evidence in court This was necessary, in order that the origi nal documents might be returned, as re- quested by the green goods men. If they had not been returned, suspicion might have been aroused. In‘this manner a deal was arranged, and it resulted in the arrest of two of the criminals; who were after- ward convicted and sentenced. Thought He Had Quit. From the San Frandlsco Post. Colonel McLaughlin sent his Swedish foreman out a few days ago to do some work around the mouth of an old mining shaft, and he took a green countryman with him as an assistant. In a couple of hours the foreman walked up to the col- onel's office and remarked: “Say, colcnel, I want anudder man.” “Wh: what’s the matter with that man I sent out with you?” inquired the colonel. “Oh, he fall down de shaft *bout an hour ago, an’ he don’t come up. I t'ink he yumped his yob!” Dr. J. R. Baird Well Known in American Missions. Hundreds of Bottles of Paine’s Celery Compound Prescribed by Him. Has Found It a Blessing to the Afflicted Beyond Any Other Remedy. Dr. J. R. Baird is not only a missionary, but What is not so well krown, he is a physician of large experience. His published account of the work he has done in the state of Michigan has en read with in- terest not mss by those particularly concerned in missions, 14 og the public generally. Dr. Baird, who is now at his home in Indiana, Pa., describes his own experience as followe: it was about six years ago when I first tried Faine’s celery compound for nervons diseases and rheumatism. In the severe winter climate in the state of Michigan I was at our mission station there, and became a great sufferer. I used three bottles of Paine's celery compound, and was very greatly benefited thereby. I then began to advise my members who were sick to vse it, and in every ¢ 8: where tue directions were strictly obeyed the treatment was successful. In a few years past hundreds of bottles have been used directly through my advice. Paine’s celery compound is far better than any other remedy, and leaves no bad effects in the system. Its manifold healing qualities make it a boon of life and a blessing to the afflicted be- yond any preparation within my reach.” The great falling off in the amount of rheumatism, neuralgia and nervous weakness tlat physicians have everywhere noted comes from the widespread owledge that there is no need of suffering any lonzer from these common diseases. It ts now sere Known how correctly Professor Edward BE. Phelps, M.D., LI.D., of Daitmouth College, un- derstood the needs of suffering men and women when he prepared the formula for Paine’s celery J. R. BAIRD, PHYSIC TAN, MISSIONARY. Dr. Baird fe known as a practical worker. His | health was broken by the severe winter climate in | Michigan some time ago, and he seemed likely te be obliged to give up his work. But he resorted to the use of that easily obtained remedy, Paine’s celery compound, and was himself again, energetic and active as ever, within a few wee ‘The reasonable, undisguied way in which Paine’s <e'ery compound fortifies the body against nervous | exhaustion and “rebuilds {ts shattered parts. h: Leen freely explained by physicians, the best of whom today always look to this great remody where debility Is to be overcome. It does its work thoroughly and speedily. Let every nervous sufferer, and every man and woman who feels run down and | tired beyond the power of a night's sleep to re store, try Patne’s celery compound. It will make the man or woman strong and active and a steut belie this great remedy. e.mpound. By tue use of this world-famous rme- dy countless men and wotren have saved the:aselves fiom nervous prostration. The cares of large families do not stop when the day is over. There is incessant anxiety, wakeful- bess and concern for some member of the houschol. It ts no wonder that.so many, especially women, break down under the crushing Weight, Their v love and pride keep: them always at work. They “live on their nerves,”” as the saying is, till there comes a time when flesh and blood can stand it no longer. It is a simple thing for them to keep well and strong if Paine’s celery compound is straight- way used at the earliest signs of failing vigor. The tired, “dragged out” feeling is soon entirely re- moved. There will be no neuralgia, no persistent headaches, no dyspepsia, no haunting pain over the eyes, no nervous exhaustion when Paine's cclery compound 1s used, It makes prople well. EVOLUTION OF THE BED. Some Singular Models Popular Cen- turies Ago. From the Upholsterer. Long before the manners of the English had treated the wife’s bed chamber as a sacred spot, the Flemish customs had re- garded it as quite impenetrable. To the housewives of the low countries there was @ habit from infancy, a sort of domeszic superstition, which rendered the sleeping room a delightful sanctuary, where one breathed the tenderest feeling, in which the simple was united to all that social life could offer of sweetness and holiness. But in France it is a common, if not universal, cus- tom to treat the chambre a coucher de madame as one of the open rooms in case of an “at home"—though the washing appa- ratus is not visible—not for the reason which the average prejudiced English would un- charitably suggest, but because, at any cost of space, madame always contrives to have some kind of mysterious cabinet de toilette in which she arms herself for the fray. It is curious that the majority of the beds now manufactured resemble very closely in shape those made in Italy more than 2,000 years ago. At the Etruscan Museum in the Vatican there is an ancient bronze bed on six feet. and across it are strips of metal exactly like those put on brass and iron beds of the present day to support the mattress. The luxurious sleeping arrange- ments of the Romans of the time of the Caesars, who had mattresses stuffed with the soft down of swans, woolen blankets and sheets elaborately embroidered with pat- terns in colors, were strongly in con:rast with the rude couches of the people whom they came over to conquer. Even -the beds of the Anglo-Saxons were certainly very primitive; in fact, little better than raised wooden boxes with sacks of straw placed in- side, and up to the tenth century there was litule change in the style of furnishing adovt- ed by our hardy ancestors. Yet old MSS. tell us that some importance and much value was attached to these primitive contriv- ances, which, in the early days before the conquest, were the luxury of only a few per- sons of rank, and, moreover, were h looms. Even after the Norman occupation bedsteads were not usual except for royal personages and great people, and it was not until the thirteenth century that beds were furnished—much as at present—with a_ stuffed quilt, bolster, pillow, sheets and coverlets. It was only at the be- ginning of the sixtenth century that elaborately carved beds with splendid hangings came in use. Some of them are wonderful examples of the skill of the great French carvers of the Renaissance. A little later, with the fashion of alcoves, came the stuffy, overdraped bed, and then for many years the heavy four-post beds*2ad reigned supreme, till air, more air, became the fashion, and they went out when open windows and warming tubs came in. An American who lately visited Ireland writes: ‘In the hotel at Dublin there was a bed so ures me so high that it seemed a table- land of mattresses overshadowed by a cliff of headboards.” is ———__+e-. Bought Her Own Gown. From the Cincinnati Enquirer. They tell a story of an unfortunate so- clety woman who, being terribly pushed for a gown to wear at a great occasion, sold seven gowns for the price of one to Mme. X. Among these gowns was one hardly rumpled, and which, though very magnificent, had evidently been worn at most only once. This dress Mme. X. sold 4s a model to Mme. Y., who was the so- clety woman’s dressmaker, and who had been obdurate about making another thing for the poor {little woman without cash down. When this “model” came in she saw a chance for big return of money, so she compromised with her customer, and agreed to let her have a model dri just imported, for a very low figure. Whereat the poor woman paid all the money she had received for all her dresses, and out Mme. Y. brought the model. The poor woman talked herself blue in the face, but she could not say anything to protect herself without betraying her dealing with Mme. X., so, poor thing, she danced in her old frock after all, having swapped all her other gowns for the privilege. —+0e2— It Was Time to Dic. From the Cincinuat! Enquirer. ‘The cyclone, with a howl of fiendish glee, struck the east-bound California fruit train full amidships, as it were. In an instant millions of small, bluish, wrinkled objects were hurtling through the circulatory atmosphere. The cyclone took one Icok at himself, and then— “Great heavens!” he shrieked, “I am full of prunes!” With that he lay down and died. EXPERIENCE OF A WITNESS. He Narrowly Escaped the Wrath of the Court for Supposed Contempt. From the San Francisco Post. : A witness in Judge Low's department of the police court came near being sent to jail for contempt of court for telling the truth. The witness was called and sworn. “What is your name?” asked Prosecuting Attorney Madden. ‘I. Denau,” replied the witness. “What's that?" demanded the judge. “I. Denau,” replied the witness. The judge and prosecuting attorney star2a at each other in blank amazement. “Look here, sir!’ roared the judge when he had recovered his breath, “you will not be permitted to trifle with this court.” “Well—er—I only know what I-have al- ways been told is my name,” explained the embarrassed ‘witness. “Of course I can’t swear to it, but if it 1s not my true name, T'd like to know it, your honor.” “That is all any man knows of his nam: declared the judge. “What have you becn told was your name?” Denau, sir.” i ‘ou don’t know? Mr. Clerk, enter up an order- "t know,” hastily ex- “I didn’t say I did: plained the witness. “I said my name was I. Denau—Ignatz Denau, sir.” “Oh!” said the judge. “Oh!” echoed the prosecuting attorney. ————+-o-____ A Wagnerian Rehearsal, From Truth. Mi tes Discovery. Reproach. Corfilet. Canronade, Victory