Evening Star Newspaper, May 11, 1895, Page 15

THE EVENING STAR, SATURDAY, MAY 11, 1895-TWENTY PAGES. » UNMOWED WHISKERS Getting Ready at the Senate End for the Populists, THE CLERKS AND RORAL TENDENCIES How They Are Trying to Cultivate a Bucolic Appearance. THEY MAY CUT GRASS ee N ANTICIPATION, perhaps, of the com- ing ot the time when the populists will have control of tire Senate, by virtue of their holding of the balance of power there, the folks at the Senate end of the Capitol are getting into a bucolic frame of mind and are put- tine on the outward evidences of alleged rural tendencies, that may bring them into high repute with the third party men when Congress shail meet next winter. Little straws show the direction of the wind, and so small details of everyday fe may count for a good deai in times when half a dozen populists will have the control of things political ir their hands. There is no telling what prejudices a statesman may take for or against aa individual on account of en.all and apparently insignificant details. So some of the clerks are improving their time during vacation by ietting their hair and beards grow. They are not pretty now, in the transition state from full-fledged republicans and democrats to life-lo1g pop- vlists, but personal beauty is a small mat- ter when one’s income may be at stake. ‘The fashionably pointed style of beard has gone out of vogue, and the loosely trim- med or not-trimmed-at-all style is in high regard. It is even rumored that the straight-brimmed straw hat, the spruce mackinaw, the natty split-straw, will all go to the wall in favor of the larger and more generously built haying hat that is to be had at any shop for a quarter. This, with a shoe-string thrust carelessly through the meshes, to be tightened in stress of weather or loosened at other is thought to be very effective. With some styles of beauty it is positively charming. It is thought that the style may spread into other sections of the fashion- able world, but of this rumor there is no tangible source. M In other departments of the clerkly ward- robe the new pypulist fad finds room for de- velopment. Boots are to be worn rather than shoes, and it is whispered that it will be-regarded as quite “en regle” to allow the leg of the trous- ers—one leg is pref- erabl2, as indicating greater indifference {to the carking cares of symmetry—to hang nezligently over the top of the boot, instead of falling to t+ natural place. Blacking will doubt- less strictly es- chewed, and it is an- ticipated that there will be a great run on oils and mutton bi tallow. In suspenders, too, there is quite a revolution, and already some of the most fastidious of the young men are engaged several hours daily in the sectusion of the Store rooms of the Capitol practicing with one “gallus,” so as to be quite free and easy when the time shall come for the pub- lic exhibition of the art of keeping up ap- pearances—and trousers—with one-half the usual allowance of straps. But the efforts of the young men to creep into the good graces of the populists do not cease when the mere matter of a wardrobe has been exhausted. Ther2 is a vast amount of ground to be gone over between now and December, so as to insure a per- fect style when Congress shall meet, and the half dozen holders of the balance of power shall begin to assert their rights of Patronage. The vernacular of the fields must be studied, the stomach must be trained to accommodate itself to strange and unusual foods, so that the imitation populist may be able to go out a-dining with the real article, and at least pretend to enjoy “salt horse’ ‘and corn bread. The statement is seriously made now that the clerks are opening subscription books for the purpose of raising a fund to supply the Senate wing with jugs of oatmeal water throughout the summer, to be taken in- wardly—not for the complexion—in lieu of the ordinary iced water that flows so re- freshingly from porcelain and metal cool- ers. The erstwhile apollinaris lemonade that onc? did make the Senate so cheerful a@ spot in che midst of the panting earth will be eschewed, like the cup of henbane that paralyzes the soul. Some one with a powerful influence with the young man who has the key to the Btock of gr: eed at the Agricultural De- partment has suc- ceeded in obtaining a few packages, an this precious mi: terial is being dis- tributed to a select . few, for the purpose » of utilizing it as an appropriate adjunct to the toilet. A few grains of this sub- stance, carefully dis- tributed through the hair and beard, though with a cer- tain negligent grace that bespeaks nat- ural association with ow or a threshing floor, will do . it is thought, in dispelling preju- dices against the effete cultivation sup- ed to be lodged in the senatorial circles. ffect is said by these who have tried medy to be wonderfully fetching. ntle art of chewing straws, too, is re he g21 be taught by a few young men who actually had acquaintance with the field and the truck garden. These young men, proudiy bo: 1 now of their beginnings, are assuming alrs of 1] superiority over their less fortu- and are imparting their vaiu- lige with great success. Be on agriculture are at a premium, and Librarian Spofford is puzzled to sup- ply the im! nt demand. Young gentle- men with well-defined literary tastes have discarded Daudet and Wilde and other more or less interesting authors, judged from a purely impractical point of view, in favor of Horace Greeley’s famous work on farming, and later issues of the same trend. The’ speeches of Peffer are away above par, and the speculative pages who made cofiplete sets of those precious docu- ments from the time when the glant brain of Kansas first began to enlighten the Sen- ate are now selling them at great profit. But this is all merely preliminary work. There must be blisters put on soft palms, callouses must be persuaded to grow on fingers, and once fair and must be burr brown by the pitil sun that shines over the fields in summe To be and te bali a f give these desirable factors that go so far to tnake up the satis- factorily tion of 4 culturis i so it is nerally agreed is nothing to ir coats and go to em, 1g young men that th off do bt work to take at the r They have therefore persuaded Co Bright, the eant-at-arms, with little a A to order that the grass of the great iawn just north of the build- ed on the north by the main , shall not be cut with a mowing This lawn was ruined last sum- y too close application by the mow- drove thelr horse machines o ently that the grass was par d long before the summer was rted. So the fiat has gone forth ing, boun that the this particular lawn, which is to be pre- ma shall not be used on seryed as a practice ground for the am- bitious young men who are going through this severe course of agricultural sprouts. Some day, before many weeks have past, when the grass has grown tall and waves gently in the breeze, the young men will “pe furnished with seythes and whet- stones and turned loose in the great lawn. Surgeons will be kept in close at- tendance to bind up the wounds caused by too reckless swing- ing of the blades, and it is hoped that an ambulance may be hired for the occa- sion. The young men, when they take the field on this festive occasion, will be for all the world like the political farmers themselves, and it is whis- pered that they hope to be so successful in their preliminary course of training that their friends, as they pass to and fro on the paths and drives, will not recognize them. But the gang of seeming laborers delving out there on the lawn, making great swaths of fallen grass, will be the same young men who last winter answered po- lite questions with an economy of breath, and attention. “Some kind fellow has persuaded a pair of partridges to take up their abode in the ground, to cast an even more real at- mosphere of rurality about the place. The “bob white” and the “old bob white” and the “bob white, oh!” of the birds may be heard any morning, and the clerks have fallen into the habit of imitating them as they sit poring over pages of agricultural reports and free silver doctrines. Some one has suggested that a patch of sun- flowers be planted in the center of the main lawn on the west side of the building, but this thought has not yet been acted upon. And in this way the young men are tak- ing time by the forelock. They are striv- ing hard to win success, and their friends are all hoping that they will do so. But it is hard work. —_——_—_ SHE TOLD HIM A Post Office Clerk’s Punishment for Impolitene: From Puck. “Have you any mucilage in there?” asked a sharp-featured, elderly lady at the stamp seller’s window at the post office. “No!” snapped the urbane clerk inside. “How will I make this envelope I just bought of you stick, then?’ demanded she with the asperity of a woman who feels she has got the worst end of a small bargain. . “Lick the flap; there’s mucilage on it,” said the clerk laconically. “No, there ain’t! not a mite!” “Then you must have licked it off. Some of you peopie seem to expect to get your dinners off the government.” “Oh, we do! do we?” cried the irate spinster. “Let me teil you I ain't reduced to making my meals off of your nasty old mucilage. I had a better dinner today, before I came downtown, than you ever saw in your life. You pale-faced, dried up whipper-snapper! you're a nice one to talk about dinner! You look as if you had lived on liver and string beans at a $3-a-week boarding house!” “All right, madam; move on!” said the clerk, who by this time had begun to real- ize he had caught a tartar. “Wait till I've told you what I had for dinner, first. Let’s see. We had tomato soup and baked biuetish—” ‘Never mind what you had for dinner; move on—you're blocking the window!” implored the clerk. “Don't be impatient, sonny. Then we had broiled spring chicken that would meit in your mouth, and green peas—" “There’s a dozen people behind you; move me o nd pickled beets and sliced tomatoes—* “Will you move on?” “When I get good and ready. I'm a-go- ing to tell you what a good dinner is so as you'll know one if you ever see it, which isn’t likely.” “Go away! I haven't time to hear you now “Yes, you have. The people is paying for your time, I guess, and I'm one of them. Don't you ever forget that the folks that come to this window is the folks you're working for.” “No; I won't, if you'll only go away,” promised the clerk, feebly. “All right. Then I'll let you off from the dessert, though the blackberry shortcake would have made your eyes stick out, and the cream we had with it was that thick it would bear up a spoon. But I want you to remember one more thing. What is it?” : “That envelope you sold me wouldn't stick. That's bad enough; but there’s one thing worse. And that’s a postage stamp that gets stuck on itself. A stamp like that ain’t no earthly good to anybody, and neither Is a young man when he gets the same way! That's all. Good-bye!” THE SUPREME MOMENT. What Some Men Have Thought of When in Mortal Peril. From the Chicago Record. Some months ago a man went down to the lake shore to commit suicide, and when he began to write a final message to his wife he could think nothing to say except that some butter which he had ordered would be found at a certain grocery. His message bears out a certain fact discov- ered by realists, that in the supreme and soul-terrifying moments of life the most ridiculous and trivial things often come uppermost in the mind. The dying man comments upon the ugly pattern of the wall paper in his room and the newly mar- ried couple is said to show an invariable preference for talking about the weather. Just the other day a boy employed in a west side «factory fell four stories down the shaft of a freight elevator. By some interposition of fate or Providence, he landed on his feet after turning over a couple of times and crawled out of the bottom door with a silly and mortified look on his face. Except for an inward jolting and a few bruises he was not injured. The men who had seen him fall rushed to the bottom of the shaft, expecting to find him lying there crushed and lifeless. But he was on his feet outside the shaft, catching his breath in an excited, nervous giggle, and awkwardly brushing the dust his clothes. re you hurt of him. “N-n-no, I'm all right.” “Did you light on your feet?” “I don’t kno Leave me alone, I’m all right.” In a few minutes he had calmed down, and one of the men asked him: “What did you think of while you were falling?” il I remember is that the feather- cleanin’ place on the second floor was shut down, “Is that all?” “I could see as I went by that there wasn’t any one workin’ in there. That's every blamed thing I can remember.” He stuck to it. At an awful moment when his past life should have come to him in a flash he was taking observations of the “feather-cleaning place.” ———_—__+e+—____ The Cause of Conversion. From the New York World. From the interior of the palace loud shrieks were heard. The pasha turned pale. “At last,” he gasped, “my janissaries, long unpaid, have revolted. Even now they are sacking the seraglio. However, the next moment he was reas- " they asked, taking hold sured. “Drat it!” He bit his beard. “All that racket over a mouse! Any- way.’ he mused, “I was never intended for a Turk. This harem-searem way of living is teo tough on the nerves.” Three months later the War Cry con- tained the portrait of a converted pasha. -se0— Acquired Dumbness. From the Detroit Free Press, Jages—“Is Blobbs revse?” dumb in his own ‘Practically so.” Jeges—‘What’s the matter?” tor d Infirmity. From Puck. O'Brien—“Poor Doherty! He's so short- he’s bound to work himself to “Phwat has bein’ short-sighted to do with it?” O'Brien—"Who: ain't lookin away all the time: he can’t see when the n’ has to keep shovelin’ CADETS’ CONTEST Annual High School Drill of the 7th and 8th Divisions. TWO COMPANIES WILL TAKE PARP What is Thought Will Be the Out- come of the Competition. WELL-TRAINED SOLDIERS —— HE ANNUAL COM- pany competitive drill of the High School Cadets of the seventh and eighth divisions, which cc- curs May 24, ts bring- ing out all the atten- tion and enersy which these young soldiers possess. The competition this year will be sharper than ever before, and every effort of both officers and men is being put forth in the hope of obtaining the coveted prizes. Both companies are equaily sanguine of success and each is confident that the other cannot win. The drill will embrace only the manual of arms. If work and close, bard study of tactics will do it, the drill will be almost perfect, for there is no rest or let up in the training of the companies at the present time. The drill is to take place at the annual entertainment of the pupils of the Wash- ington High School of the seventh and eighth divisions, at their school building, en M street between Ist street and New Jer- sey avenue northwest. It is noticeable that when a boy goes into the battalion at this school it has a marked effect upon him. His physique is improved in every way. He stands erect, and his whole bearing evinces his military training. He learns the first prin- ciple that every sol- dief has to master that of obedience— and he realiz the fact that he is an. item of great im-\ portance in the make \ up of his company. He locks forward to the day when he will have a chance to wear a sword and command a company, Maj. Minkins. or perhaps a battalion or a regiment, and his conduct regulated so as to fit him for that duty This school year, for the first time, the military organization of the Colored iligh School was enlarged to a battalion of two companies. Heretofore the strength con- sisted of but one company, jhe prize drill at the end of the year beiftg between tke first and second platoons. At the cren’ of the present school year, how good-sized companies Were available tor e, and these will participate in the ng competitive drill. The major of the battalion is Charles E. Minkins. Bruce is the adjutant and W. O. D: sergeant major, all capable and efficient officers. The story of the growth of the organiza- tion is Las ar After many attempts a ull company, Offieered, was formed in October, 1) The arms w furnished by the government, but the uniforms : instructor were provided by the boys. first large sum of mon was obtained Ty giving an exhibition driil two months afler the organ compeny. his was followel by luncheons in the svhool building, and t in turn by a conipetitive drill between the two platoons of the company for a gold medal. Throush three years the company has been obliged to give these entertain- ments, and the teachers and othe: pupils of the school have been most hearty in their sup, In this way the company has been enable to me S$ rrowing de- mands equipments and to pay for tne services of an instructor. Ca Brooks is at present the military inszructcr at the schocl, and a lurge part of su cess of the organizution is undoubte: due to his efforts. Aya result of his uain ing the companies at the present time are prepared to compete witn similar organiza- tiens wherever found. The officers of company A are Henry D. Burwell, captain; Clarence Wormley, first lieutenant, and Harry Burgess, second lieutenant. Those of company B are John Cc. Payne, captain; Elias Brown, first Neutenant, and Sam- uel Wallace, second lieutenant. Each is considered an effi- cient officer, and all are in hearty accord with the men under them. Both company commanders have displayed exceptional executive ability dur- ing the present year, and it will be a hard fight between the ri- vals. The prize con- the rthur Capt. Burwell. sists of a flag and a gold medal, former to be carried by the winning com- pany and the latter to be worn by the commanding officer of the same company. It was thought that the cnances ot company A were lessened at the beginning of the year, on account of the resignation of its captain, but Lieut. Burwell was appointed to fill the vacancy, and since then the company has been steadily improving until now it seems al- most perfect in that particular branch of the drill regulations—the manual of arms. Company B is considered just as far ad- vanced, however, and has the advantage of having had but one commanding officer throughout the year. The boys in A con- tend that they will win the prize, because, they claim, the formation of a battalion of two companies has broken the spell of the past two years, which favored the second platoon, corresponding to company B this year. They say that the time has come when there is going to be a change. Both companies during drill hours pre- the greatest amount of secrecy about mere their intended methods of winning the driil. No outside eye is allowed to watch the preparations for the bis event, and even the battalion of- ficers are viewed with disfavor when they approach either company during the hours of om oll \\\i veat many © fe |i, battalion officers andAZp some of those con- § nected with the school who take a great interest in mili- tary affairs look upon company B as the winning company,and Capt. Payne. it is said by those who have been watching the progress of the companies that Capt. Payne deserves the greatest amount of credit for the excellent manner in which he has conducted himself and his command throughout the present year. Capt. Burwell, however, also has a good share in the commendation that has been bestowed upon the companies jointly, for since his advent to the position of captain he has been an untiring worker for the good of his command, and has made some advantageous changes. It may also be said that the discipline existing at this school is of the highest order. When an order is given, the men obey it at once, and there is no grumbling over supposed hardships or personal injuries. In speaking of the coming contest, Adju- tant R. C. Bruce says: “The cadets of both companies have put a good military ca- dence into their drills, and each man seems to feel the individual responsibility that rests upon him. This is the secret of suc- cess, for an officer can do‘nothing with his men unless each man feels his responsibil- ity for the success of his company. An- other necessary thing to the success of a company is that the men work together. These two things have been in a large degree attained by the two companies, and when the contest comes off, I believe that the companies will be found to be nearly equal” THE ORIGIN QF OUR INDIANS. _ oes A Scientific Opinion to the Effect That It Was Purely American, From the Literary Digest. America is not rich in the relics of an- tiquity, Travelers tell us we are too new and too fresh to be interesting. Even when we point to the mound-builders and cliff- dwellers we are met with the theory that they were not indigenous, but were an im- pertation from Carthage, or Atlantis, or China, or some othér far-away land. At lest, however, we are coming to our rights, and may be allowed'soon to indulge the proud sense of undisputed proprietorship over a prehistoric civilization, such as it was, The Indian is really our own, totems, war dances and all, and it is only neces- sary now to extend:the Monroe doctrine and call hands off to all outsiders who are striving to deprive us of the credit due us. Such are the reflections aroused by an erticle written by the German traveler, Dr. Edward Seler, in the Prussische Jahrbucher of Berlin. He expresses his views as fol- lows: “During the sixteenth century, at a time when it was much more difficult to deter- mine the size and shape of the American continent, the idea prevailed that the an- tors of the Indians reached the conti- nént in vessels from a long distance. Later it was common to picture the ancient Americans as crossing the Bering sea in large masses. The proofs offered in de- fense of these theories are not very con- vincing. The old story told by Aristotle that ships from Carthage sailed west from the Pillars of Hercules, until, after many days, they discovered great uninhabited islands with large rivers, will hardly be accepted as a pre-Columbian discovery of America, and the Platonic fairy tales about Atlantis are just as unreliable. Ancient Chinese annals speak of the land Fu-San, 12,000 li east of China, and this has been thought to refer to Mexico. But Fu-San was a country well known to the Chinese, and the descriptions given of its rulers and the customs of its people describe it as altogether Asiatic. Pu-San was probably one of the islands north of Japan, but cer- tainly not Mexico. The attempts to deduce the beginnings of American civilization from foreign sources are all the more curious as nobody tries to prove that Chi- nese civilization began in Egypt or Indian civilization in Chaldea. The Mexicans re- late that their ancestors lived as hunters in the north. The Aztecs say that their fathers lived on an island in the sea. It is very probable that some of the Mexican tribes only regarded the north as their ancient home because the north appeared to them strange and impenetrable. The tale that the Aztecs came from over the Water may be explained by the fact that = settled on an island in a salt water Mexican ctvilization shows that it be- lenged strictly to the soil where it de- veloped, and it influenced the whele of the continent. Only a small portion of the North American tribes lived exclusively as hunters and fishermen. Even the wild prairie Indians, the Dakotas, Cheyennes and Mandans, knew something of agricul- twe. In languages, religion, customs and tribal constitution all Indians show a won- derful similarity to the Mexicans and to each other, which leads to the assumption that all came from a common stock.” The writer thinks that er shaped orna- ments and hieroglyphics cannot well be taken as proofs of the prehistoric visits of Christian missionaries, nor do Chinese signs prove the p' e of Buddhistic monks. Inventions are often made in different countries at the same period, and do not Prove that communication between the in- ventors has n place. examina- tion of the n sy of the In- dians shows that additions were made to please the Spaniardy., Before the arrival of the latter there was no;legend pointing to a European origin of the ancient legends cr the gods whose dgeds.,they describe. On this point Dr. Seler says; “Tn truth, the traditions of South America contain nothing that cay be construed into a proof of an introduction of old world civilization. The stary that an entire peo- ple reached Lambayeaye on rafts and founded a dynasty there, as well as the tale that a toreign race landed on the coast of Ecuador and establisked a new dynasty in the capital of that country, must be re- garded as referring, to sea voyages of a omewhat local character. * * * The Mcnroe d ne, with Its motto, ‘America for Americans,’ must certainly be acoepted with rezard to the study of old American civilization, American scientific researches will be condteted much better when. the fruitless attempts to proye imaginary con- nections caase. “That the curious mounds in the region of the Mississippi and the articles found therein ars not the work of a strange na- tion of mound-builders may be regarded as certain. The latest American researches prove that these mounds are the work of the ancestors of the Indians. “That the civilization of the cliff-dwellers and the former inhabitants of the pueblos of New Mexico and Arizona is very similar to that of tribes still found in these regions is clear to all who have had a chance for coimpari- son. ——— 08 BLASTING WITH LIME. Gen. Newton Learned a Lesson in an Indiana Stone Quarry. rom the New York Herald. Aprcpes of the late Gen. Newton's death is a little story he told twenty years ago, when his work at Hell Gate made him a much talked of man. “I was in the quarry country of Indiana said he, “where they take out great blocks cf oolytic limestone without the use of a pound of powder. I had heard of the pro- cess, and I took a team at Greensburg and drove down to the quarries to see. The superintendent was a Welshman of un- promising appearance. He was certainly fn uneducated man, so far as colleges went, but he knew his lusiness. “I acked bim how he managed to blast sucn huge blocks of the rock and how much dynamite was required to the ton. He said he did not use dynamite or any other explosive. He simply used unslaked Mme. It astonished me, but before he took me to the quarry he set up a piece of pine board, an inch’ thick, against a wall of rock, brought out a revolver and fired at board. “The bullet passed through, flattened against the stone and fell to the ground. Then he set up the board again, threw the flattenea bullet against the board, with astonishing skill striking it each time in the same place, and after the fifth cast the board was split from top to bottom. “I didn’t use as much force when I threw as when I shot, did I?" he said. ‘But the beard would rever split along the graia by shooting at it. I could tear that board into pieces shooting, but if I want to break it in long secticns cn the grain I don't want to use such-a sudden force. “That's how I blast with lime.” “And then he took me fo the quarry. They had drilled a series of holes in the place he had marked, his judgment and trained intelligence telling him where the dividing line should run. Then they tamp- ed these holes full of unslaked lime, pour- ed water on it, keyed them shut and wait- ed. In twelve hours the mass of rock he wanted would begin with groans and crack- lings to separate. In sixteen hours it would be free, and the force of the lime would be spent. S “If I used powder or dynamite,’ said he, ‘I would rip out such @ mass as that in fifteen minutes; but, it would be chipped and cracked into a hufidred pieces. Or, more likely, in a large blast, the powder would simply tear gut ’a way along the least resistance, shellag out a iot of spawls, and leave my big rock as solid as evel “I thanked my Wellman,” said Gen. Newton, “and told him he was much of a philosopher.”* : ES OR A Dangerous Gift. From Household Words. George—“I have beén invited to a flower party at the Pinkies. What under the sun is a ‘flower party?” hat’s one of the new notions this Is is a novel form of birthday party. Each guest must send Miss Pinkie a bouquet containing as many flowers as she is years old, and the flowers must have a meaning. Study the language of flowers before ordering. Florist’s Boy (a few hours later)—“A gen- tleman left an order for twenty of these . to be sent to the Pinkies with his —‘He’s one of my best customers. Add eight or ten more for good measure.” 40+ Too Close Quarters. From the New York Weekly. Sweet Girl (in photograph gallery)—“I wish you wouldn't put that big camera so close to me. Photographer— ture cabinet size? Sweet Girl—“Yes, but I don’t want the freckles cabinet size.” ‘Don’t you want the pic- | tainly was not very encouraging to me, THROAT PARALYSIS, (From the Courier-Herald, Saginaw, Mich.) It was publicly talked all over Clare county, Mich., for some time before the Courier-Herald sent a reporter to Dover to fully investigate the Coulter matter. He finally went, and we publish today his full report. The Coulters are prominent people, though Mrs. ©. in response to the question whether she objected to being interview, said, “Certainly not.” Her story follows: “About fourteen years ago we decided to take up our abode in Dover, and everything went along smoothly for several years, business progressed, and being of a saving temperament we accumu- lated quite an amount. Our family increased as the years rolled by, and we now have five children living, the oldest fifteen, youngest three, but sick- ness made its way into our household, and doctors’ ills flooded upon us, until we have nothing left but our home and these sweet children.Everything went to satisfy the claims of physician: “About three years ago I had a miserable feeling at the back of my ears, my right hand became paralyzed and the paralysis extended to my arm and throat, and would affect my head and eyes. Sometimes for days I would lose my sight, my faco was deformed, lifeless as it were, my Dose was drawn to one side and I presented a pitiable ap- pearance and never expecting to regain my natural factal expressions. I employed the best physicians that could be procured, expending thousands of dollars for their services, but could not obtain re- Hef. At last they stated my case was beyond the reach of medical skill, and it would be but a short time until the end would come. This cer- but I never gave up hope. In connection with recetring the attendance of physicians, I have tried every medicine known to the apothecary, but never recetved any relief until Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills for Pale People came to my assistance. Before I had taken half of the first box the deformity in my face had left me, and before four boxes had been consumed the paralysis had disappeared eu- tirely and much to my surprise I felt like a new woman. I have not taken any medicine since last spring, just about a year ago, and my trouble bas not appeared since. I owe my health, my life to Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills. ‘A short time since my little boy John was icted with St. Vitus’ dance. He could not walk across the room without assistance, in fact, he would fall ail over himself, but after taking a few boxes of Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills, St. Vitus’ dance entirely left him, and no trace of the afflic- tion is left. These Pills are worth their weight in gold. You may say In this connection that I am ‘willing at any time to make affidavit to the truth of these statements, and, furthermore, I will answer any communteation concerning my case, as I consider it nothing more than right and just that I should assist suttering humanity."* Dr. Williams’ Pink Pills contain all the elements necessary to give new fe and richness to the blood and restore shattered nerves. They are for sale by all druggists, or may be bad by mail from Dr. Williams’ Medicine Company, Schenectady, N. Y¥., for 50-cents per box, or six boxes for CHURCH DROWSINESS. The Cause of Sleep During Sermons Explained in a New Wa From the Pittsburg Dispatch. . I have a scientific explanaticn of the som- nolence which overtakes people in church. I used to think that it was the dullness of the sermon which provoked the sleep of the congregation. One remembers the ac- tor who gave a private reading of his play to a company of his friends, and when he was done asked their opinion. At last, when one began to speak, the: playwright interrupted: ‘You can have no opinion; you were asleep.” “Ah,” replied the critic, “do you not know that sleep is an opinion?” And sleep is certainly an opinion, and not an especially flattering one. But it may not mean that the sermon is really dull. I have seen people sleep in church under all manner of circumstances, and in the hearing of the most admirable preachers, preaching the most eloquent sermon: I saw a man asleep when Mr. Spurgeon preached. Mr. Moody has more than once called out to have a window opened to wake up a somnolent member of his audience. Canon Knox-Little 1s ac- counted a preacher of more than usual earnestness and power, yet I remember once in Worcester seeing a minister, clad in surplice and stole, and seated in the chancel, go straight to sleep while the canon preached, disregarding the eyes of the congregation. And once when Mr. Gore delivered a sermon in that great ab- bey where he is now canon, people who sat in my neighborhood went to sleep in shoals. No; my theory is that most times when the corgrsgation sleep during the sermon they are simply Mypnotized. For, consider the situation. Most of the conditions which » hypnotist desires are present. There a dim and subdved light in the room; the atmosphere is somewhat close, the temper- ature is high; somewhere behind the speak- er, in a position which compels thé eyes of the congregation, is a jet of gas or a sharp gieam of electricity, into which they look as the sermon proceeds; and the preacher goes on and on and on, in a gentle and monotonous voice, and down and up like a mother’s Jullaby; and behold, our e: lids are pressed down against our will by soft invisthle fingers, and everything Is de- liciously vague and far away, and suddenly people stand up with an awakening sound about us, and the preacher is pronouncing the ascription at the end of his sermon, during whose wise and eloquent para- graphs we have humiliatingly slept. This is hypnotic sleep. And it is the fault, not only of the preacher, but of the whole co struction of our ill-ventilated and absurdly lighted churches. oe A MODERN CRUISER. ON The Old-Time Sailor Objects to the New-Fangled Notions. From the Chicago Record. Curiously enough, the old shellbacks in the navy are down on the Soldiers’ Home. ‘They don’t want “a snug harbor.” They insist upon staying upon a cruising man-of- war, and when they die they want to be buried at sea. But the officers say that these old sea dogs are very troublesome on a modern cruiser, where everything is dif- ferent from what they were accustomed to when they learned their trade. They ob- ject to the new-fangled equipment and the improvements and conveniences that have been introduced on modern vessels. They object to sitting down at a table and eat- ing their meals off china plates, with knives and forks, like civilized people, instead of taking their rations in little wooden tubs ard squatting down on their haunches in the shelter of the lee gunwale while they cut up their “salt horse’ with a jack-knife. They object to scrubbing the decks with a new-fangled rubber arrangement instead of the old holystone, and refuse to obey elec- trie signals because they have been accus- tomed to hear the officers yell at them from the bridge or the quarter deck. Nowadays the galleys on board of men-of- war are capable of cooking fresh bread for the sailors every day, which is a jous grievance to the old-fashioned “Jacki who prefers hardtack to raised biscuits and A large supply of fresh meats is now a din the patent refrigerators on board all the ships, and served to the sailors, al- ternating with salt beef and pork, at least once a day. This is emphatically objected to by the veterans as an effeminate de- arture from the rations they received vhen they were apprenticed in historic times. The sailors of a vessel that was recently in Montevideo and Buenos Ayres were served with tenderloin steaks for several weeks because fresh meat was found to be cheaper than salt pork down in that great cattle country, but after about a week a committee from the forecastle waited upon the captain and said they desired to make complaint about their grub. He was much surprised at the suggestion, because he sup- posed they were being unusually well fed, and remarked that they were receiving the same supplies that were furnished himself and the officers in the wardroom. They ad- mitted that this might be true, and added that it was exactly what they were “kick- ing’’ about. The boys didn’t like tenderloin steaks; they “wanted something they could chaw on. oe-_____ To Strengthen. the Church, From, the New York Tribune. During the year 184 the Church of Eng- land received voluntary contributions to the amount of £5,650,490, in addition to which £1,482,898 was spent on building, re- storing and otherwise improving the fabric of the church. In speaking of this, the London Daily News says: “This enormous income from voluntary sources, with its almost infinite possibilities of expansion, throws a curious light upon the lament tions of those clergy who see in endow- ments the only divinely appointed source of thelr maintenance. It is startling as well /as gratifying to note that the voluntary contributions even in Wales exceed the net clerical income by £54,597, being a much larger percentage than obtains in England. London, by the way, sets the best example of generosity, the three dioceses of London, Rochester and St. Albans contributing the handsome total of £1,247,739."" ODOG® e rae { OOO payments? ter of the city. WARRANTY DEED FREE. DOOOSSSSSGOOO SOS OSOSOOGOOGOS & 086 will treble in a year. you to build. Small FREE EXCURSIONS TO BEAUTIFUL TUXEDO! The Gem of‘Washington Suburbs. Why pay $200 for lots when for $3 ut can buy a better lot at TUXEDO on Rasy uxedo is situated on the Pennsylvania railroad, 1% of a mile outside the District line; adjacent and overlooking Washinton, and within a few minutes’ ride of the cen= Station on grounds—Com- mutation fare, 6 cents. eral spring. Ground high. Your Choice of Any Lot for 2 Days for OBO The best investment in Washington today for a home or investment. Don’t miss this chance of a lifetime. your family will reap the benefit of pure air and spring water, and your investment lots left. A building association will help Payment Down And $1 Weekly. Excursions Daily, 4:30 p.m. - Sundays, 9 a.m. and 4:20 p.m. Free Tickets anc Circulars at office Tuxedo Co., 623 F st. n.w. Bring this ad. to the cffice. on your purchase. BOSSES TSSS OSS | aes ceesaceg ©) G9OOHHHHOHSDOHNH HSH HO GOSCOOHOS OHS SE OCOASOOCRODAECCODOODOOOODEOCD a aid AT It has a fine min- 10 PER CENT OFF FOR CASH. Buy where Only a few hundred It will save $2 = ; SMUGGLED IN VEWSPAPERS. ‘The Post Office People in Oregon Make an Interesting Discovery. From the Portland Oregootan. Offigials connected with the Post Office Department in this city have discovered a neat attempt to swindle the United States government by smuggling kid gloves into this city and escaping the payment of duties. Some time since a sudden increase in the newspaper mail between Hongkong, China, and this city became apparent. It was surmised that certain persons had become interested in the Japan-China war, and were being supplied with newspapers containing full accounts of the war’s prog- ress, and the first lot of papers was de- livered without question. Last Saturday there was another batch of papers received, many of them being addressed to women in the city, and the suspicions of the post oftice authorities were aroused. Collector Black of the customs service was informed of the suspicious nature of the packages, and thirteen of them were turned over to his custody for investigation. It is required, when the postal officials have cause to think that the mails are being used for the purpose of smuggling contraband goods, that the package under suspicion must be given to the collector of customs, and the party to whom the same is addressed must open the same in the presence of the customs official for in- spection. On Saturday a woman to whom a number of apparent newspapers had been sent called at the custom house to receive the same from the collector if they passed inspection after being opened and examined. Within the folds of the papers two pairs of kid gloves were found, and examination of other bundles resulted in similar finds. The gloves were all confis- cated by the collector, and will be sold at auction in due time. The woman stated to the collector that she had an idea who sent the gloves, but she refused to disclose any names, and there is no law to compel her to do so. Neither can the party sending the gloves be molested, and the only thing that the government can do is to seize the goods. The gloves are of ordinary make, coming in a variety of shades, but those who have been receiving presents from such sources will find the supply of gloves now cut off, as every package of papers will be in- spected. The duty on Kid gloves is%) per cent of the value at port of importation, and in amount the money which the gov- ernment has lost Is a trifie.* — Lige Jackson's Wife. W. J. Lampton in Detroit Free Press. One day in the Cumberland mountains, said a minister, I rode up to a much better looking house and hillside farm than were customary in that section. “Good morning,” I said to a tall, thin man, working in a patch between the house and the road. “Howdy?” he responded. Very nice place you have here,” I re- marked. “Right peart,” he returned. “Can I see the man of the house?” I in- quired. Phar ain’t none.” “No? Does a widow own the place?” a married woman.” “Who is she?” “Lige Jackson's wife.” “And there is no man in the house?” “That's what I said.” Well, can I see Mrs. Jackson, then?” “No; sh gone down to the store to sell some truck. “When will she be back?” “Ain't no tellin’, She does purty much ez she pleases ‘round here.” “Mr. Jackson doesn’t cut much of a fig- ure, does he?” 1 laughed. “Not much. “Are you working for him?’ “Course not; fer her. “Who are you?” I ntured, for I was bound to see somebody who could give me the information I sought. ‘The man smiled a little. “Oh,” he said, “J ain’t nobody much. I'm only Lige Jack- son’s wife's husband.” ——+ e+ No Chance for It. From Puck. Tagleigh—“I wonder why lightning never strikes twice in the same place?” Wagleigh—“Well, you can't generally find the place.’ IO 40-09 46 0+ 20 0-4), : TEA SETS GREATLY REDUCED. We have fuily fifty different styles. Every one guaranteed ‘quadruple plate on hard’ white metal Being very anxious to reduce this stock, we offer a discount of 20 Per Cent all of them. Beautiful LOUIS XV 5-plece Set, $12.00. Was $15.00. M. Goldsmith & Son, gm Penna. Avenue. my10-30d PAPHOS 2H-9940-40-00-4 : AAssreeneessensereseesneeee J AM SELLING ; a Whisky: ‘$3 a Gallon =that ever etteral a Washington store. For medicinal (purposes it is unsurpassed. It’s a straight 4-year-old Nquor of warranted purity and excellent flavor. It is absolutely impossible to secure as good a quailty, no latter where you may go—for less than $4.00. Telephone 1084. promptly deltvered— iN. H. Duvall, 1923 Pa. Av. ¢ Hine Groceries, Wines and Fruits. my7-20e0 FV UV OU Ee eee TEU WEN ee eee Vvevvveres ve S IH LP DS WO o-oo s-oe-< MORE. YOU ought to kuow which to buy. All firs dealers bandle it. CFS. B." is stamped in each corner of the ‘label on the genuine 2° * REVERSIBLE. Look for it. S. & B. S.& BY i S.& B. Ss. & B. { THE } Reversible { ; Mattress 4 é filing. on BOTH. shies COSTS NG o “ e & Do You Paint? If you do we want you to know that we have a full stock of Painters’ sup- plies, Ready-mixed Paints, Fioor Stains, Varnish, etc., for either inside or out- side work. Quality all right. Prices al} right for Geo. F. Muth & Co., 418 7th’ St. N.W., Successors to Geo. Ryneal, Jr, ap5-248 Hats Off! We are content to sell the black and colors, for for a price. 's Derbles, © Derbics, black and colors, $2 us, Dlack and colors, for $1.29. $1 Roys’ Straw Hats for 2 —and yet this is an exciusive men’s fur nishing store. Tanzer & Co., my9-16d GOLD SEAL CHAMPAGNE. “Men's Furnishers,"" 908 7th st. EXTRAand SPECIAL DRY. URBANA, N. Y. mi-s&w3m