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AN EASY way to make bard water soft is this: Fill the wash boiler with hard water, then put half a teacupful of wood ashes tnto a little eloth bag, let this Mein the water until that is warm enough to use. This ts worth know- ing. To Get Rip or keep off the current worm an experimenter says the way he does tt Is to cut out all the young wood sprouting from the roots inthe spring. This So very de- structive to the leaves, onty feeds on those of the new wood at the ming and then spreads over the whole bush. This is easy to try. ITs 4 Common Practice to use Dita of old Carpet as a lining for statr carpets, Dut a much Detter way ts to take strips of an old bedquilt, have them not quite the width of the statr- case, wash and dry first, then put smoothly over the statrs, tacking in a few places. It softer than old carpet, and will not wear the outer one nearly so much. Of course this Is a hint for those who Cannot afford the nics linings that are made on purpose. ivfs Norgenerally known that milk {snot only a good solvent of quinine, but that it also disguises its bitterness. A writer In a medical journal states that if one gratn of the sulphate De dissolved fn an ounce of milk the solution ts scarcely perceptibly bitter. A dose of five grains may be taken in two ounces of milk without rendering it unpleasant, and ff taken in a tumbierful of milk the bitterness disap- pears. Another Surgeon recommends the use Of @ solution of quinine in glycerine, in the proportion of one grain to one aram, the dose to De taken In a wineglassful of milk. IF YOU WISH TO MAKE CHOCOLATE CREAMS that are more delicious than those any confectioner will ever offer you try this recipe: Take two cups of granulated or pulverized sugar, half a cup of cream—tllke wilt do, but it needs cream to perfect them; bol! just fve minutes from the Ume it begins4o boil, not from the time you put it on the stove. After taking from the Stove stir till itis stiff; Navor it with vanilla; then ‘drop on a buttered plate and let it re- main there til it Is cold. In the meantime have a cake of chocolate broken in Uttle pleces in a bowl; have some water bolling in tne tea kettle; set the bow! over It; the chocolate will soon melt; then take a fork and Hew oa drops im the melted chocolate, ard put baék on tae Plate to harden. Observe the directions care- fully, and you cannot fall to be pleased with the result.—1. ¥. Post. OsLoNG MigRoRs are now hung crosswise. A new treatment for those old mirrors, of which almost every house holds one or more, super- anpuated by reason of their frames, is to have them re-framed oy any carpenter. ‘These piain wooden frames are four inches —. sloping backward, aud are finished in several different Ways. One such mirror on exhibition !s statned with graysand browns In oils, and then deco- Tated with hanging buaches’ of snowDalis. Another has on one corner sprays of golden- red, abd on the diagonally opposite corner a Darren bough on whieh perch snowbirds. Another frame is covered with red plush. Oa the base are upspringtug yellow crocuses with their foliage. Across the upper corner is a band of Old. gold a quarter of an fneh broad, in which were strung Ube sks forming the tassels, that were tied below with old-gold silk. Mr. Louis C. Tiffany's urtque decoration on some ef the draperies of the Seventh Regiment Armory fs seen In a tabie-cover on exhtvition, in which metal rings were sewed on plush in chain-armor fashion. With moderate discre- Uon, euch novelties can be uced with very good effect.—The Art Amateur, Various Hists.—Do not put carpets In your closets; oflcloth or matting is much better, and can be easily kept free from dust. Matting after beipg swept should be wiped with a damp cloth. Hot salt and water wiff thor. oughly @leanse it and will not discolor It. If obe Could afford todo it It would be a health- ful plan to lay aside the carpets of sleeping rooms dur'ng the summer, and Substitute the cool fresh matting. A great many people Jaugh in a somewhat scornful way at any new Suggestions relating to matters of health; they thing the old tried ways of doing things are ‘best without much regard to their results. Io nothing is Bano hy me eo more plainly shown than 3 “people didn’: Use tobe so arrald of thelr drinks water and of glucose and such things till these chemist3 and scientific men said so much about them,” one man remarked to another. “I'll never pay any attention to ‘em,” was the rep'y in a tone which settled the question and precluded ali possibility of discussion. It may not b2 out of placeto add that the last speaker was sui- tering from the effects ot typhoid fever, and that several o:her members of his family had had severe attacks of diphtherla—N, ¥. Post. CeoL FLOORS aNp Coon Rooms.—The late hot spell makes all housekeepers ready to take up their carpets and put their tloorson a sum- mer feoting. Matting makes a delightfully cool room when the windows are kept bowed, cr for unlighted parlors on summer evenings, but red and white matting, which is the most @urable sort, does not /ovk a3 e201 as a stained foor,- Staining toors 13 so easily done at home, and as these are the eastest rooms in the whole house to keep in order, it is not sur- prising that every spriog the housekeeper 1 cilues to have yet another room “flaispea” in this way, and laysdown her matuings in the = and entries, where bare floors are nols- st. ‘The art interchange gives the following dt- recifons for coloring a pine floor which ts to be fartlaily covered with rugs: “Buy at any house-palnter’s store turpeutine aad linseed Oli (not bolied). Ask them to put a little Jap- bese dryer in the turpentine. Buy either burnt sienna or Vandy ks brown, or both, ac- coding to the “color of the rugs and the tint en the wails.” These colors come put up in Un cans, staaller but otherwise similar to to mato or fruit cans. Acier your floor haa beep washed thoronghiy Clean, ig free froni dust, and dry, begm by opening your can and nif- ng, in another receptacie, the oil, turpentine and paint, Remember, the of! 1s to thin your paint, the turpentine to dry it. Tae mixture should be so thin that it willrun with liquid Teadinese. Lay it on with a brush as thick a3 your bars, stroking the brush the way of the grain of the wood. Protect your haads with old gloves, and '§ over the (oor with 4 rag. In fact, you will need two one pretty ‘Well charged with paint, to rub in every cre- Vice, and another rag to rub off any superfluous paint. Mind your stops, or, rather, put some mind in the way you stop. "Do not stop in a straight Ime acroag the grain of the wood, but earry your brush irregularly down, taklog a bint from nature's lings fn the wood you are preserving with paint, By mixing the burat Senna and Vandyke Drown, you will secure a rich color without needing to use the palat in & thick form. Your mixture should be so thin ‘that the grain of the wood will show Emp Ifyou have too much turpentine, the paint wili rubof, If you have too little, your room Will need more days to dry. Twice as much oll as turpentine, certainly, Do pot ecoco- mize the oll, and be as prodigal ia rubbing as peur Strength will permit.” To keep the gloss on a stained fioor it 1s recom- mended once a week to wipe up the floor with diluted buttermilk or sour milk, ‘TaBLE CHINA AND Giass.—Eoglish china, decorated im rich colors and bold designs, is ehesen for dinner sets, while for teas, for de3- sert, and for luncheons light decorations in Gelicate colors on thinnest French wares are preferred. The gay coioring done by Minton, ard the rich lustrous Crown Derby sets, are objects of desire to housewives, rivalling the superb oid blue and white Nankin and india seis that have been handed down as _hetr- looms. Some round and some ovai dishes are bow made tn each set, and octagonal plates are shown, but are not so popular as round oues. Soup plates are made much deeper than formerly tor ordinary use, and there are very deep cups for boulllon. A separate dozen of plates, each differently decorated, with birds for game, with fish for fish, or with fowere. or fruits for dessert, is now furnished in the floest wares, and ts considered a choic2 gift lo @ bride. Low large cups are for coffee aU break‘ast. deep but smaller cups are for tea and for boullion, while smaller cups than those usually seen are now selected for after-dinner coffee. Allornamental pleces for the table, such a8 epergnes of Dresden, Capo di Monte, or glass, are now made low and broad, and all decorations tn the way of flowers are similarly low; thus, instead of being placed in branci- ing epergnes, flowers are now banked down the centre of tue table, and berries or other fruits are macsed ta the same Way, strawber- ries befpg dalntily served in tiny baskets of ‘straw or of glass, plied In Clusters, and after Ward a basket 1s set in each plate. A great Dali like a globe made of rico cut glass ts mounted on a flat mirror andjused for holding & large Douquet im the centre of the tabie. Nearly fat dishes of cut glass, sq’ rn- Brer Fox Meets Brer Tarrypin, but Brer Rabbit Comes to the Mescue. The next night the Iittie boy had been thoughtful enough to save some or his supper for Uncie Remus; and to this “Miss Sally” nad added on her own account a large plece of fruit cake. The old man appeared to be highiy pleased. “Ef deys enny kinder cake w'at I likes de mos’, bits dish yer kind w’ats got reezens S'rowed "mongs’ it. Wid sick folks, now,” be continued, holding np the cake and subjecting it to a critical examtmation, “dish yer bang n nigh jas’ a mont’, but wida well in” BO suddenly that the little boy laughed Alou: , and wanted —_ Remus to have some more cake; but tha protested that he didn’t come “fer ter get foundud,” but merely to see “ef somebody's strepk uz strong nuff fer tar stan’ nudder tale.” The little boy said if Uncle Remus meant him, he was sure his health was good enough to Usten to any number of stories. Whereupon [onli man without apy tantalizing prelimt- naries “ Brer done bin fool so much by Brer Rabbit dat he sorter look roun’ for ter see ef he can’t ketch up wid some er de yuther creeturs, en 80, one day, wiles he gwine ‘long down de big road, who should le strike up wid but old Brer Tarrypip, Brer Fox sorter lick his chops, en say dat it he kin fing enny body en gin um all under holt, Brer Tarrypin de man, en he makespote anim. Wen te girun fine ar m eo hegitup biga nuft Brer Fox hat! ‘Im: rot a ** ‘How you speck you fine yo'se'fdis mawnin,” ‘Brer Tarrypin,’sezee. “Siow, Brer Fox—mighty slow,’ sez Brer ‘Tarrypin, sezee. ‘Day In en day oat I'm mighty slow, en’t look like I’m @ gittin’ slower: I’ slow en po'ly, Brer Fox—how you come on? sezee. “Ob, I'm slanehindickler, same ez I allers Is,” 3 *at make yo’ eye g0 red, sez Brer Fox, sezee. ‘W Brer Te rial og gezee. “* “Hit’s ali “longer de trouble I see, Brer Fox,’ sez Brer Tarrypin, sezee. “I see trouble en you see none; trouble come and pile up on trouble,’ sezee. “‘Law, Brer Tarryp'n!’ sez Brer Fox, sezee, ‘you ain't see no trouble yet. Ef you wanter see sho nufl trouble, you des oughter go ‘longer me; I’m de man w’at kin show you troubie,’ se7ee. ‘Well, den,’ sez ole Brer Tarrypin, sez: ‘ef youer de man w’at kin show ine "trouble, den I'mde man wW’at want a glimpse un it.’ sezee. “Den Brer Fox, ax Brer Tarrypin if he seed Brer Tarrypin, ae make de Old Boy, en den answer dat he ain’t seed ‘im yit, ee telluo ‘Im. Wid dat, Brer Fox "low de Ole Boy d3 kinder trouble he been talkin’ bout, aud den Brer Tarry) he apa ax how he gwyne see e ty ’n lay out the progran: en he kr tell Brer Tarrypin dat ef he uy step up dar de middle er dst ole broom fel en squot dar a spell, ‘twon’t be no time ‘fo’ he'll ketcn a glimpse er de Ole Boy. “Brer Tairypin know’d ders sump’n wrong some rs, yit he mos’ too flat-footed fer ter get in er seufie wid Brer Fox, en he say ter hisse't dat he'll B, ‘long en des trus’ ter luck; en den he ‘iow dat et Brer Fox he’p ‘Im ’cross de ferice, he b'leve he'll go 3 ep resk one eye onde Ola Boy. Co’se Brer Fox hope ‘im cross, en no sooner Is he (ae en gone dan Brer Fox, be fix up fer tomake ’m see trouble. He lipt’ out to iiss Meadows house, Brer Fox did, en maks like he wanter borry a chunk er fier fer ter light his pipe, en he tuck dat chunk en he run ‘roun’ de fle, en he sot d2 grass atier, ea "twan’t long fo" It look like de whole tage #r d2 yeth wuz a Diazin’ up.” “Did it boro the Terrapla up?” interrupted don’t make me git de the little boy, “Don't push me, honey; kyart ‘fo’dehoss. W’en old Brer Tarrypin ‘gan ter wade thoo de straw, de v’ey fus’ man w’at he stiike up wid wuz ole man Rabbit layin’ @ar sleepin’ on de shady side uv a tussock. Brer Rabbit, he wunner deze year kinder mena W'at sleep wid der eye wide open, en he waz ‘wake d’reckly he year Brer Tarrypin scan’ €n scram’lin’ ‘long thoo de grass. After dey shuck han’s en ax "bout wunner nudder fambly. nit ain’t take long fer Brer Tarrypin fer to teli Brer Rabbit w’at fotch ‘Im dar, en Brer R: abdbit, he up’n say. sezee: ““Hiva der natally a born blessin’ dat you struck up wid me w’en you did,’ sezee, ‘Kaz> little mo’en bofe un us would a bin bobbycu'd,’ sezee. “Dis kinder tarrify Brer in, en he sa: he wanter git out fum dar; but Brer Rabbit ne “low he'd take keer un ‘im, en he tuck Brer Tar- rypin in de middle ex de fiel’ whar dey wuz a big holler stump. Onter dis stump Brer Zab- bit lie Brer Tarrypin, en den he lip up hisse't en crope in de hoiler, en bless yo soul, honey, wren de fire come a snippin’ en a snappin’, dar dey sot des ezeafe en ez snug ez you {3 in yo bed dis minit. “Wren de blaze blow over Brer ‘Tarrypin look ‘roun’, en he see Brer Fox runnin’ up ‘n down do fence like huntin’ sump’n. Dan Brer Rabbit he stick bis head up outen de hole, en Ikewise he seed ‘tm, en den he holier like Brer Tarry- pin.” {Here Uncle Remus puckered his voice so as to say 1n @ most am’ volce:} “Brer Fox! Brer Fox! Ob. Brer Fox! Run yer—we done koteh Brer Rabbit!” “En den Brer Fox, he jump up on de top rall er de fence en fetch a spring dat lan’ im oway oct in de bu’nin’ grass, en it hurted im en sting “im in de footses dat bad dat he sqnest en h? roll, en de mo’ he roll de wus it bu’n 'm, 62 Brer Rabbit and Brer Tarrypin dey des holl-r en laugh. Bime-by, Brer Fox git out, en off ue put down de road, limpin’ fus’ on one foot en den on de yuther.” The little boy laughed, and then there was a bond stlence, 80 Jong, indeed, that Uncle Remus’ “Miss Sally,” sewing in the next room, con- cluded to investigate it. An exceedingly inter- esting tableau met her sight. The little child had wandered into the land of dreams with a smile on bis face. He lay with one of his little hands buried in both of Uncle Remus’, while the old man himself was fast asleep, with his head thrown back and his mouth wide opan. ane Sally” shook him by the shoulder and u her finger to prevent him from speak- ing. Re play quiet until she held the lamp for him to @own the back steps, and then she heard him aay, inan ey. modified tone: * Now dem, Miss Sally'll be a Tiggin’ me "bout nodgin’, Dat etidder dat she better be glad dat 1 4!4't Dus’ loose en sno’ en "larm de house—let ‘Jone aat sick baby. Dat’s w'at!”—A/.anta (9a.) Constitution. Railway Dangers, Blindness to danger produced by living amonz it with impunity seems almost untversal. We believe that the bes t authorities recommend that night watchman tn big bulldings should be frequently changed, because when a man as made a certain round every night for years, or even months, and has never found a fire or a ef, he becomes quite bli? to eltuer of these should he chance to meet them later on. S23 ‘how this blindness would tellin the case of a driver of an express train. He has, perbaps, to makea journey of a hundred miles, and stop, . three times, but has to pass thirty, forty Or more signals, If the tratiis is weli rez- ulated he may travel th's road for months to- gether without ever finding one of these signals of “danger,” but were he to get in a condition of danger-biindness and not look out for these Signals the resuit would probably be that there would be a terrible accijent. He must on assuming that every signal is at danger, hough never in his experience has it been found to be so. He must also exercise patient and eae « — in inspecting al test neg engine; trust no one, but see that all ts right for himself. {t 13 really a matter for marvel that men are to be found to do this Work, and it becomes even more so when we read what Mr. Reynolds has to tell of the early years of training which every driver has togothrough. After an apalling story of hard work, irregular hours, and no little dan- ger, he goes ontosay: “It we were to sum ‘up the conditions on which a man can com- mand the regulator of an engine it would read thus—iniles to run, 200,000; coals to break up and put into the fire-vox In their Tope Place, 3,000 tons; day work, 3 years; nigel work, + years; Sunday work, 25 days per year; innue merable hair-breadth esc: eyes coLstantly on the roll, the mouth snut and the eara open, an iron constitution, a whistle on the lt 3, a warm heart, and an intelligent head, with the motto ‘Wait.’” As with the engine-driver, 80 with all the rest of a ratlway staff—they must always aseume that things are wrong they are proved to be right. Not long ago an accident happened from asignalman not hav- tpg @ proper rallway mind. ’A train was in the station waiting to go out; this signalman‘tried to lower the ae Signal, but found it ed; he looked at Jocking-frame and saw the points of asia- iets ares ered, and twelve inches . are iowa for and also for celery. ir and those for cream or berries, gre of English crystal with handles. lostead of a silver ,& mirror, round, like a plat- allot cut glass, for vinegar,” Ol, ‘sail, aed it, all of cut . lets are m: used Cur ore Aeipresent than the fumbles that were lately rev! else a tall 3 a rnattons, Dut'er- caps, or other flowers down the ceater suppl es adaitional color.—Harper's Bazar, ~ +, 1his lily like your innocent p The Lovers’ Chair. ‘There are eccentric men in the west, rematks the New York Times. ‘The same is true of all = of the country, levelops Itself in genious and Lovee} Mr. some unnecessary Indiana which may be omitted, furnishes a conspicu- ous and charactertati¢ fiustration of this it truth, and his name deserves to be remembered among thore who can appreciate eccentricity of a truly original ty; Mr. Beale hag a daughter, of whom—although she will never be a presidential candidate—it may be remarked that she is a good girl, welghing one hundred ang thirty-three pounds. She fs greatly re- spected by all who know her, and is undoubdt- edly 8 most estimable person, of whom her father might be honestly proud. It is, however, a partot Mr. Beale’s eccentricity to assume that when & young man comes to spend the eventag ‘with & young lady the two usualiy occupy only a single chair. This theory; which is doubtless ‘founded on the unsudstantial basis of tho ‘lleged comic columns of Chicago journals, ts, of course, utterly untenable by any man of sound judgment, but the eccentric Mr. Beale firmly ‘believes it. He cherishes, moreover, views of the strictest nature ag to the way in which a young lady should conduct herself, and he has often informed Miss Beale that a community of chatrs is one of the most wicked Of the ideas of modern socialism, and that no young lady should permit any man tosit within ten feet of her chair. His daughter has In. varlably replied, “Yes, Pa, I think you are quit Th bt.” but the eccentric man has never put full confidence in her sincerity. In order to test 1t Mr. Beale has on several Occasions abruptly entered the back parlor on Sutday evening when he knew that young Mr. Barlow, the local druggist’s assis:ant, was oc- gopying the room in company with afiss Baale. On each occasion he found the young people :Tanding and gazing intently on a cromo watch cecorates the wall just above tne grate. Two chairs, distant from one another about Atteen f et. were visible, but there was nothing to Show that elther of them had been occupied. a he thus fatled to discover any evi- at his daughter had departed trom his instructions, Mr. Beale was far trom being con- vinced that all was right, and accordingly he designed his now celebrated patent adjustable chair, @ mechanical invention intended to re- strain young people from any tendency to overtax the strength of any onechatr. ‘The patent adjustable chair does not present aby hovel peculiarities, to the eye, but it 1s 80 constructed that when an excess of weight is Placed upon it, the seat sinks to the floor, and &@ whistle, worked by compressed air, gives forth a weird and piercing shriek. It can be adjusted so as to sink with almost any desired Weight, and a judicious father can regulate is according to the weight of bis daughter and of her various visitors. For example, Miss Beale Weighed, as has been said, one hundred and thirty-three pounds, and ii one hundi and fifty-five. If, therefore, Mr. Beale adjusted his patent chair so that it would sink under a weight of two hundred pounds, it 1s evident that the weight of the young lady or the young man alone could not cause the whistle to sound, but that thetr com- bined weight could not be placed upon the a Pected it would be necessary to fix the sinking point of the chair at 300 pounds. ‘The merit ot the invention 13 obvious. and Mr. Beale felt, when he placed his patent adjustable chair in the back parlor on Sunday evening, just before Mr. Barlow's arrival, that he was now certain to learn whether his daughter was in the habit of implicitly obeying his counsels, About nine o’clock the ingenious father, who Was in the dining-room waiting earnestly for the whistle, heard the peculiar and unmls- takable sound cf that treacherous device, and instantly rushed into the back parlor. He found Mr. Barlow lying across the collapsed chair, and Miss Beale standing at an irreproach- able distance from him, anxiously inquiring it he was hurt. He said he had accidentally caught bis foot in the hearth-rug and had fallen over the chair. This explanation could not be rejected, for 1t was quite possible that the chair might have been collapsed by such an accident. The dieappointed father withdrew, taking his chair with him, and admitting to himself that be daughter was not to be caught with any or- nary trap. But in spite of this fatlure the adjustable chair has recently been brought pocanmennly, before the public. When the Presbyterian synod met last month in the meeting-house at- tended by Mr. Beale, and there was a scarcity of chairs on the platform, he sent the sexton to his house with instructions to bring all the chairs he could find. The adjustable ehair was among them, and Mr. Beaie, forgetting its pe- cullarities, made haste to personally offer it to the Moderator. The chair, as a subsequent ex- amination proved, had been adjusted to seat Well three hundred pounds, and it so happened ‘that the Moderator weighed just three hundred andone. When, therefore, after delivering an impressive speech, the reverend gentleman sat down, the assembly was horrified to see him ink rapidly to the floor, while the shriek of the whistle was supposed to be a cry of pain wrung from the unhappy man. The subsequent trial and expulsion of Mr. Beale for sacrilegiously Playing a dangerous practical joke on the Mod- erator, with the design of bringing Presbyte- nar ism into contempt in the eyes of the world, hes mace the peculiarities of the chair familiar t) almost every one. If lt Were True. |Baldwin’s Monthly.} If it were really true that you are living— You whom my soul has always loved the Could you not come to me once more, forgiving, “Questi red.?? “are you one of the editors of this news- paper?” she asked, in a fluttering tone, ap- Proaching the man who does the ‘Questions Answered” for the Eagle. “Yes,” be replied, t ig her in at a glance, “Maxe the waist plain and sbirr on whe skirt: me ‘man apron front and leave the back of the ress full, with @ narrow flounce at the bot- tom,” and the encyclopedia turned away to his work. “I didn’t want to ask -you about dress,” she faltered. “I hope I am’ above the vanities of this world. I have been a church member, but Tam bewildered about my responsibilities,” ana er eyes filled with tears. “Are you an Idiot, lunatic, married woman, Babitual drunkard?” inquired the “Questions” man, running over the Norrwm Organum to see if the Plesiosaurus laid eggs or suckled her oung. < i‘ “Sir” she demanded, with rising indigna- on. = “Because if you ain’t, you're legally respon- sible,” he answe {uring to the question: “How could the children of Adam marry the ence Of men, if there was no man before Adam: ‘I don’t mean that. I want to understand whether I am a free agent or if 1 am—” “That depends upon how you made your contract. Ifyou bought the outright you are only Mable for the purchase price; but if you work on commission—” “NO. no. Not that;” and the streaming tears Or Toused the “Questions” man to some show of interest. “amin aoubt. Which way shall i turn?” “Well, my dear, that depends much on the dance. In the waltz you turn from lefc to right until you reverse. In the—” “Good Heaven!” ejaculated the inquirer, “he thinks I dance. No, no, né! You don’t under- stand me. I want to know the right road.” “Yes, 1% Isee. That depends upon circum- stances. Yf you're going to the cemetery, you take a Greenwood car. If you're going over to Williamsburgh, ‘ook out for a Greenpoint and Myrtle avenue car, or if you want the circus you will find the Fulton street—” “Merciful providence! It 18 not that either. Can you scoff atme when my head is bowed thus in sorrow?” “Ob! that’s it,” replied the “Questions” man, glancing: through Rollins’ history, to find the ifference between a Scandinavian and a Swe- denborgian. ‘Get a brown chip, turned up at the back or on the left side and trim it with a yard of Spanish lace and a bunch of forget me Dots in the front. Or; you might try a white Leghorn with—” ““Can’t you understand me?” she moaned, wringing her hands. ‘Don’t you s:e that my oe oe sore and weary, looking for the right path?” * Corns?” asked the'‘Questions”man, scratch- ing bisear. “Pare ’em down carefully and put ‘on four drops of lemon, or—” “* You mock me!” she sobbed. “Pray, let me rest amoment.” * The “Questions” man regarded her sympa- thetically and turned to the inquiry, “Did the Athenians fry their clams or eat them raw” while be gave her time to recover. “T come for information,” she continued at length; “I want to know what Icando. lam ina téver—” “* Salts!” proclaimed the encyclopedia with energy, “You want salts: a tablespoontul aa hour before breakfast. That will reduce the fever, and then—” “You horrible wretch!” sobbed the unhappy woman, rising, “I came to you, because I thought you could gufde me to the spiritual fountain for which I am thirsting, and you tn- sult me in this wanton way!” and she flopped Out of the cffice with riotous indignation. “Most unaccountable female,” sollloquized the “Questions” man. “I told her what I thought she wanted to know, and she gets as mad as the fellow did when I toid him that pawnbroking took its origin in shoving Jonah inthe spout. I've got to have more salary for this business, or the age must get another man,” and the encyclopedia bent his attention Upon his question, “What postage did Paul pay upon his first epistle to the Corinthians?” Brookiyn Eagle. One of the Czar’s Escapes. “when one considers the innumerable at- tempts made upon the life of the late Czar,’ writes our special correspondent at St. Peters- burg, ‘‘the wonder increases that he escaped so long. Some of the most ingenious plots have been hitherto carefully hushed up by members of the imperial household. Among many in- ferual machines employed by the nihilists, the American apple-ple was much used. Four times 4n one week the lord chamberlain detected this dreadful viand among the dishes on the royal table, where it had been placed by some unknown hand. On another occasion the Czar was grop- ing around the pantry in the dark, endeavorin: Ed Asnack of something before turningin. He took & mouthful of the first thing he came across, when he was selzea with a sudden faint- nese. He was found in the morning lying un- conscious, with a San Francisco doughnut clutched In his right hand. ‘The emperor was revived with difficulty, but to the day of his death was cursed with chronic dyspepsia, Bat to return to the revolting subject of ples. About a@montn before bis death the Czar was invited to attend the annual picnic of the United Order of Buttonhole Workers at Scadger’s Park, on the other side of the Neva. After playing Co- Penhagen for seven or eight hours, as is cus- tomary, the Czar was offered some suspicious- locking lemonade and the usual kl!ndried picaic sandwiches, whtch he prudently decitned. Notic- ing this, a beftled nibilist approached,and,after Walking carefully round the emperor, said to him with assumed respect: Pes Majesty wears ight pants, I per- ceive.” 3 And lay your head again upon my breaai? 111 had known how sadly I should grieve you— If T had ouly known it was the last— There's nothing in the world had made me leave yous And now, dear heart, the tender dream is past. Can you notsee how I have missed you, dearest; How I regret ever gave you pain; a then I he!d you first and nearest? O love, if you could only come again! I would be kinder to you; I was fretful; Life had so much that was too hard to bear: I did not understand how—self forzetfal— Your love had lightened every pain or care. We grow too sure of those who never give us A single anxious thought—they are our own Tdid not dream that death would dare to rob me, Until I found my priceless treagure gone. And now, beside your giave I watch the sunsct, Ab we 80 oft have watched the changing ukies; 1 wonder if this tender purpla violet ‘Has drawa its dreamy beauty from your eyes. This golden rod is like your flowing tresses, 1 rire breast: ‘This wild rose, blushing to the wind’s caresses, ‘May owe its bloom to’ lips my own have pressed. Thate these vampire flowers that xrow above you: I cannot bear to think that Zou are there: 1 feel that you are passine—while I love you— ‘To other fornis of lite, however fair. Yet, were it really true that you are living— Your own pure life uo mocking change lias known— . Would you not come, sweet consolation giving, Forgrief and doubt that have so bitter grown? You mnst sce clearly from the height where sor v ° And pain and death have lifted your white soul; Can you not give some promise of the morrow, If you have found this life is not the whole Can younotcome to me, and stoop and kiss me, Say you forgive the thonghtless words I said, ” (They haunt me now) and that you loye and iniss me, J, O my darling, that you are not dead? RESO Dy % AxBby KINNE. When the Baby Coos. Crying, of the conscious or really rafserable sort, takes place long before smiling or even coo!ng. This, remarks our. observer, probably points to the fact that in the history of the race the need of making known pains and wants was the more urgent, and so was the one to be the first satisfied. Coming now tothe parti- cular feelings which have to do with others, it Js noteworthy that the earliest feeling to mani- fest itself 1s that of antagonism or anger. At least, remarks the father, this was 8 in the case of Clifford's sister, who, when Didden at the outset of life to do her duty in accepting the nutriment provided by nature, showed all the signs of lonate wrath. The ‘first traceable germ of sympathy—the fellow- feeling which binds men together—appeared in Cliffora’s case in the eighth week in the shape of responsive cooing sounds when coaxed and comforted by the usual vocal appliances. The chronicler remarks on the fact of the much later appearance of scolding noises, and from Unis passes to speculations as to the period in’ human history when men began to exercise power and coercion over One another. There , I may add, a touch of Rousseau-like senti- Ment in these remarks.—The Cornhill Maga- zine, \wellings us tenants, and are, there- fore, not £0 open to the view of casual and curi- ous visitors as . The company will afte to ns ha’ “Ag you see,” replied the emperor. 13 not that correct?” “Precisely,” exclaimed the conspirator, “put 1Us the custom for wearers of light pants at pic- ics to sit down on a pie.” “Ts the custom imperative?” asked the Czar, gloomily. “Absolutely, sire. It 18 a-matter of tradi- “Then let a ple be produced.” ‘This was instantly done, the great American cemetery crowder being ‘placed on a stump io front of the Czar. “Ig It vitally necessary that it should be a INGERSOLL AND CHRISTIANITY. A Rreakfast-Taple Discussion. iScene: A breakfast table on Murray HUll. Pater-yamtias and mater-sfamitias-at break- fast." Mater-familias has been reading about Colonel Ingersoll and the repliestohim. she 4s shocked and wonders what the world is com- ing to. She breaks out :) ue 1s very dreadful Did you ever see the AR coer iva 1 Christian da “are we LD ina a an Christian city?” = sf “Upon my word, I don’t knows" {| You don’t know? What do you mean?” Do you ly what I ly. jan city?” are tall shoc! mean to say New York is not a Chi ee ‘ou had better ask the Police Commission- This is not a mgtter for joking. I say it is shocking that a crowd of well dressed men and women should go to Booth’s Theater and the Academy, on the Sabbath, too, to listen to the ribald Dlasphemies it God and against Christ streaming out of the mouth of a wretch like Ingersoll.” “ My dear, my dear, your Christian temper ts carrying you away. ‘Mr. Ingersoll 1s a very re- sp: ctable man.” “Ugh! respectable! Don’t talleso to mea.” ae @ leading Ught in the repubifcan arty.” " ““The what?” “The party that clatms all the brains, all the Virtues, and most of the offices in this coan- try.” “‘T don’t care for your politics. The ques- foe of Christianity has nothing to do with them.” “ Well, perhaps you are right, my dear, but it might not De wise to say so. The Christian Statesmen are not all dead yet.” “Tsay again that itis asin andashame to this city that a large audience of respectable seeming people should be found to go and at- tend lectures I'ke those given at Booth’s The- ater and the Academy by an avowed and bias. Phemous Infidel. I declare, I'll never enter the theater again.” ‘Don’t be rash, my dear. This 1s a free city and a free country. "An American citizen Is al- lowed liberty of speech and an American au- dience liberty of hearing.” “Yes, but not blasphemy.” fae suppose they believe with the bias- emer 2” “But they cannot. It is impossible. They can't be 80 wicked. Did you read the report of ‘his lectures 2” “T looked at it.” “And what did you thiok of it?” “J thought it remarkably slily.” “And did you read the replies ?” at them,” ked ‘Well?”, “I thought them, if possible, still more re- markably silly.” “John. how can you talk 80?” “Because I think so. They were silly. As tolng they were no replies at all. The whole 1s a mistake.” There is lying to tirades like those “ There 1s no reply! ies like ot Ingersoll. Ingersoll i & ready, quick witted Speaker. He knows the average American audl- ence to its finger tps. He knows just how, where and when to tickle them, and he does It. He knows that there is always more or less of a secret tnstinct Mm man to break his gods, laugh at what is generally accepted as holy, and mock at the priests,” “ Joun, are men and women—Christian men and women —itke that?” “ Men and women are men and women, and it is and always will be thelr nature to rebel against restraint. We are surrounded on all Sid°3, bound down, chaincd in by the bonas of restraint, visible or invisible, from the cradle to the grave. The man who strives to break those chains will always have his followers for the moment at least.” a eat what restraints have we, have you, we 12" i aPPy woman never to have found them out!” ut how am I restrained?” “Well. you can’t indulge in the luxury of two eee , for instance.” “John!” “Nor lin the more expensive luxury of two wives.” “You shouldn't talk in that way.” “That 1s an instance of restraint. Taere are ‘thousands of others all around us. Well, what causes this restraint 10 what we call the moral sense? Nothing else but our common Cnristi- anity. Other religions allow multiplicity of Wives. The old Jewish tion allowed it, What we call modern civilization, or at least the moral code that inspires and’ holds It to- gether, began with the birth of Christ and will onl oe ‘When Colonel Ingersoll has succeeded in Soeenne it to the same tree on which Christ ed.” “‘T very much fear that Colonel Ingersoll will find himself tn another place before that hap- pens. “Mr. Ingersoll thinks differently, my dear. That ‘other place’ agatn 1s a restraint agatnst which the Colonel kicks vigorously. He doesn’t believe in hell.” “A fellow-feeling makes us wondrous kind, and the wish is father to the thought.” “ Well, he is attacking Christianity, because he has lost all faith in Christianity, that 13 to Say, In that form of Christianity in which he was brought up. He belteves it was a sham and a false system; a cruel, narsh, hypocritical, superstitious system. In kis’ journeyings through the worldand through life he has en- countered many another who has gone through the same phase of religious disillusion. So he has risen up with the spirit and zeal of a Prophet of the new dispensation to free men from thisthraldom. And—” | “Well—and?” ‘And he finds It pays. a “Yes; a nice way of making D; money. By spit- in the face of the crucified Saviour.” “My dear, I don’t know that Ingersoll regards it in that ight. He probably thinks that Christ himself was the victim of the very talsehoods against which he is now striking, and I don’t nerorpeitt ice said the Dictator of all the Russias, divi ig his coat-talls with a shudder. “As you say, sire.” “But I don’t exactly understand,” hesitated the despot. “Suppose you sit down first, just to show me how.” “ 1_your Majesty?” stammered the conspira- tor; “‘I—I—er—you see my trousers are old and and black—they have been haif-soled—it_ ‘world be no—” “ Squat!” roared the autocrat, suddenly waip. Ping out his revolver. ‘The miserable wretch sat down with a groan, and Instantly after vanished through the tre2- tops, The pie had been loaded with nltro-giy- cerine. “1 knew it,” muttered the emperor, and cail- ing together the uae council with a dog whistle, he took the next car for the terry.— San Francisco Post, The Bad Boys and The Good Old Man. (Hartfort Courant.) “any chestnuts round here?” asked one of three boys who met an aged, benevolent-look- ing. farmer out in Montgomery county. The old man hesltated. ‘‘You don’t want to steal ’em?” he asked. “Oh, no! We just wanted to find out.” ‘Well, there’s a few trees back there; but if I thought you wanted to steal them 1 wouldn’t have told you, for the owner has gone to town. But you're bright, honest-looking boys.” The boys blushed ith the pride. of copscious goodness. ‘When will the owaer be back?” ell, not before dark, I reckon.” The boys respectfully thanked the old man, waited tll he got out of sight, jumped the fence, and were soon shaking down the burrs. The shaking was easy; but the opening of the chestnut burrs was more difficult and unpleas- ant. Atlast the boys had a splendid pile of handsome brown nuts on the ground, and they pl to put them in the bags they brought with them. “Please don’t take any more trou- ble,” said the benevolent old man who stood by the fence, kindly on the startled boys. “I'm not 80 strong as I once was, and I fear I can’t hold in this dog much longer. If you'll hurry, though, 1 knees Tcan keep mie nia here tli you get to the railroad track. Down, Tize, air! ‘Asthe Lave meen back ving Panera fence they could see the stoop! old ian’ scooping. the rich brown chestnuts Into & two-bushel bag. The “Fasting-Girl” Mania. For some time past there has been a lull of “tasting-girls.” They were common enough a few years ago until one of them being care- know but that, toa certain extent, I agree with him In this.” “John, how can you say 80?” “Well, it is certain at least that Christ was crucified, and crucified at the instance of the eed of his day and race, This object was, as 1 8ald, not to destroy their religion but to bulld itup. Now, men who consider themselves in possession of Divine truth do not care to be told that their religion needs altering or build- ing up or fulfilling. So Christ was regarded as an assailant of the ancient faith and as such was condemned to death. He was stealiug the ee ana the faith of the people from the priests.” “wel?” 4 “ Well, you know what happened then. A en miracle, The death of Christ was the Mrth of Christianity, of the social and reli- gious system that was destined ever after t2 rule, if not to possess, the world. Empire after empire, race after race, through nineteen cen tures, have been subjugated by the sign of the Knowledge this much; and with all the re- straints and Mmitations of creatures. The Wonder ts that God bas made known so much, DOt £0 littletous. Men certainly did not in vent the things they know any more than they created ives or made the distance be- tween earth an Bat, there; you® bave hed lecture enough, my dear, for this | RAILROADS. BALTIMORE AND OHIO RAILROAD, THE MODEL FART LINE, axD THE ONLY LIND THE EAST axp THE WEST, VIA WASHINGTON heaven. cOnee word more, John—why are not all pecemtoabpcpalis «shy gem aos FOr thas goatee T, aS somebody observes in| a. BM. LEAVE eee ied atrmen, "all wise mnen are of the same rell- | 12: Cincinnati and St. Louis Fast Ex- “Ar = fb Batamore Wegrens O87 ANA AY ation “John, come and let me kiss you. . F Graphic, | Dissipation m Reading. While not feeling much trust in inelastic reading for duty’s sake only, however, we con- fess that it ts, In our view, far superior to the fiy-from-flower-to-flower style of some literary | bees, who gather smail store of honey in their and way. (Piedmont way. te Ckreabure, Winchester, and ware -10—Point of and way stations, (< taitintorg. Paladin Rew York ana Boston Express. 45-—Staunt and Valley Express. a Eurerniowe and st Pont ot Socks Tor 19:00-0n Sunday only for Baltimore, Annapolis. 10.00—] ope at Hyattevilie: touch-and-go method. The it sive Goblere, Beltevilie, ty ‘Angapatie Ju books of the world are few and they are, alas! = and Hanoves Ughtly thrust asidé by those who dip into | tl040—1 b Cinctonas Ba Bt. everything, and never know what real thirst outs is, bor the delight of satisfying it ata spark- . | os Ming epring. We have seen a bright girl stand- | “20 Baltimore, Eutcott City, Annapolis and wap ing In the center of a room filled with books, .s ‘Sunday only for Baltimore and way. aimlessiy gazing here on the classic authors, 8 08 timere Express. and there at tue poets, and then, with a plain: | '8:00—Baltimore, Phusdelphia and New York Bx> Uuve eigh, bemoaniug uer evil fate tnat there | 9 iTS one and way mations. Was nothing In the house to read. Because the ren Uf me a Pity of it was that her taste had become cher, | 9. ie ee yA as oughly vitiated, and her early dissipation had (Frederick, via Belay. at Annapolis June- = lees et pig | for — — “ 45 Point of stimulating fare, and for po other. ‘o such a . Eagermowa. ove Jane Austen would be monotonous and py ee “weeded George EMlot incomprehensible. The remedy is and Way exavions. for dissipation in reading 1s, frst, abstinence | {$-42-Beltimors, 4 ——~ | Ull the point of hunger is reached. A week at is Hauay. Stove at ‘Lenre.> & little inland inb, with constant rainy | 6.06—Point of Rocks and Way Stations. Weather, and no resources to speak of, would | 16-48—Baltimore ang Way Stations. Prove a capital tonic to some mentally jated | ,7:30—Baltimore and Laurel <= People Cowpers Task. with its delignifal | ':0—Eiabure. 3 fe flowing style, would, afier that experience, be " ‘on siraal or to let off passengers at ccs 8 tack (han ap easure to them. atter | Suk ‘snd “anvapolie abstinence, the next best remedy isa resolute a determination to find some good trom every k read, and to read nothing which leaves imagination exhausted and the reasoning powers dull. Something higher than diversion should be the ultimate object of the person who reads.—Sunday School Times, Tahje D*Hote Abroad. (Foreign Letter to the Cincinnati Commercial. } Breakfast on the continent always means only bread and coffee; to the laboring people it cer cine of broth anda bit of bread, or 110{00—Baltimere, Philadelphia, New York ana Daily. sBuncay only” Oanor waine aul ‘at any polit in the city. NORTH, WEST AND cp bas Die alone. The American, however, will | @rxexpm. ¥, MAGNIFICENT EQUIPMENT. fing himself served with butter, and ees or Te ROEROT. ar age wat meat, unl e bas previously or @™plain TEAINS —_ 5 Depot. breaitast,” when be wilt Tecelve the usual | g,, oprmer of Sixth and B follows: Blee to Pi —— = ye The oe mae Keine A perha) e least suscept of cl Usually 1s served at 6 o'clock, an hour when the day's work is over, and the ‘meal can be taken at leisure. It is the social meal of the day, and all the guests of the hotel are ected to meet at the table. It requires never less than an hour, oftener two, and unless your company is entertaining it is a long and dreary process. Perhaps you have been told that there will be 10 or 15 Courses, and if uninitiated you have your mind made up thé for once you will have your usual “square meal;” but when the walter, with neck-tie and shirt front of immac- ulate whiteness, brings you a small plece of bread and a dish of slightly colo water called soup, you proceed with quiet resignation With the be'tef that you will have the dinner presently; bat your curiosity is only the more aroused when the plates are changed, and after @ long and dreary waiting you receive a very mall bit of fish; then the table 1s cleared again, and you are served with a bit of chicken: like a true American you have dispatched your bread long enough stnce, and you take chicken and “play it aione;” but you conciuda it is “passing strange” whe 4 you learn that buttered chestnuts and nothing eise, or a bit of cheese alone, wiil be ferved for a course, and $0 you continue for an hour or two in patient expecta- ton of the meal that never comes. My Yankee friend put it exactly right wien he sala, “There 4g a mouthful to eat, abd then a square acre of silence.” I shall always respect the American who, the other day, when he had borne pa- ‘ently until the meal was half over, thundered out to the waiter: “Good gracious!’ life is too short to be wasted in this manner, sir! For heaven's sake, bring me something to eat.” For. et 00, 0, 6 40, 9. Sanday, aa, 10:00 and 4015 p.m. e's Oreek Line, 6:40 a.m. an me? daily, except Sanday. Sm 804 4:40 pa: For Annapolis, 6:40 a.m. and 4.40 p.m. daily, ex cept Sunday. ALEMANDAIA AND FREDERICR@BU WAY, AND ALEVANDEES ANT Wanda: TON 'BAILROAD. For Alezandriay 7 D.m., and 12:00 mi and 10:00 a.m. ; 7:00 and 9:06 p.m. $nd information ‘at the office, ‘13th, ivania ay 1881 rue mewsrarzus 188] | Szpss st teres to denasion on — FRAKE THOMBO Soe ‘Manager. aes NATIONAL OAPITAL, ——__ MEDICAL, &. Giseanes Come st BiG a ee ee rivals THE EVENING STAR ERs, bie Bamectsorrer ee” DF BHOTR- THE WEEKLY STAR, | P &. 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BROTHERS is the Oldest Established La- south of New York, aXND MORE THAN DOUBLE oe snvsicien in Wi . ‘Female THAT OF ANY OTHER PAPER IX THE CITY. auickly cared. “Ofice 900 B st. southwest ope Every issue Of THE STAR 1s carefully read | porite Smithsonian. Bo charge for advice. not only by the citizens of Washington and ad- | _ 829 1m‘ Jacent cities and towns, but throngs \ONSULT DR. 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In the order of time this faith, built uoon the facts of Christ’s birth, death, resurrection, and on the words that came from His mouth and were committed to those He chose tobe His apostles, was rounded into a polity, a system, a church. This church is, of course, human, consisting of men through all the ages, and Consequently mixed up ih human affairs. It necessarily came to be often and de. filed often, within ani many dark and foul stains upon its body,and it ig answerable for much evil. Great revolts even and tearin; tunity of parca Sonai eRe uy #5 Bet 01 ir! felt ipa of act and batt has occurred in the history o! yureh, Quite the contrary. Te should be theirs to de- cry and stamp such things with their condom nation. What they have to do is to their eg and hearts fast on the clear ot it, Which have never fail ive never Christians whether Voltaire or Tom Pain were good or bad men? That 1s the conce! cebiefly of Voltaire or Tom Pain Commandments, prove tion of an American audience that one or allof them were “Precisely 80. To say that the Christian body through all ite itfe ‘Past and to come has had and rotten ‘bers: from Pope to parson, is simply to composed hi : ae di it effect . te 5 copies one year for $9.00, and one ihe by R10t & OMUMWT LL 80} Penny i n, » Wholesale an copy to the getter-up of the club, Avent: to whom ail ordere ‘should be sdds 10 copies one year for $15.00 ana Octi 6-8, tu, thak pres DE FOBEST HAS REMEDY FO: one copy etter a }. All female complants quickly cure club. rail eda ieee) [pe gy Office hours from 1 to9 p m. febd-4un* 20 copies one year $20. | Re BICORD, 141 WEST FAYE’ * 1 Copy Three Months, 50 Cents, cane nae » eines tome 4 in Byphilitic disorders of the ‘nose or Single Subscription, $2. . 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