Chicago Daily Tribune Newspaper, April 17, 1881, Page 19

THE CHICAGO TRIBUNE: SUNDAY, APRIL ‘17,) 1881 GOTHAM GOSSIP. The Collapse of Two Interna- tional Reputations. ain Statement of Facts About the Egyptian Obelisk, Isaac I. Hayes and His Dr. Calamitous Collapse. Cheap Cabs and the Inside History of Frank Kavanegh, Esq. Theatrical Gossip—The Rankin Slander—John E. Owens. Special Correspondence of The Ciicago Tribune. New Yours, April15.—In the past week two Inflated reputations have sorrowfully collapsed. ‘The first was that which Mr. W. H. Vanderbilt’ acquired for himself. thanks to Mr. Hurlbert, of the World, as the special {porter of the Cleopatra obelisk so-called. Phe second was that to which Dr. Isaac L Hayes has been Jaboriously holding on for some years, as a traveler in Northern regions. Lam not sure that you have been as completely saturated with fictions about the obelisk as we in New York. From the time Mr. Hurlbert was good enough to be one of the principal features of the opening ‘of the Suez Canal, he has been eager to transfer some feature of Egyptian scenery tw American soit. Everybody knows, I sup- pose, that the obelisk is a_ vegetable indigen- ous to Egypt. 1t grows in the African sand —so I infer from its abundance—al- most as copiously as the succulent asparagus thrives at Oyster Bay. Llurl- bert, in his anxiety to secure the erection of some sort of monument to him- selfasan Esyptologist, persuaded Vander- piltto undertake the expense of transport- ing the needle from its sand-bath in Alex- andriato 2 conspicuous place among the Jrish shanties which frinze Central Park. ‘A smooth-faced, broad-shouldered Com- jnander of the navy, one-Gorringe, got the ‘ob of bringing the monolith to New York. ‘his Gorringe is a whole-suuled, delightful fellow, afflicted, however, with that unh resemblance to Napoleon the First compels its victim, for instance, to «| Welsh rarebit with as much gravity he were partitioning Poland over again. ‘Trusting ‘implicitly in Vanderbilt to back him up inall his expenditures, one of the first things Gorringe did was to buy a broken- down English steamship—the Dessong—for £30,000, in promi Ty notes of his own mak- ing. With intinit labor and trouble, poor Gorringe got his obelisk to New York, echieved some wonderful engineering feats in setting it up in Central Park, and or cat nine fdigys was the idol of New Yo! Shortly after the accomplishment of his enterpnse, Congress passed aresolution admitting the Dessong to the privilege of an American reg- ister, and thus made it possible for her pres- ent owners to turn her once more into ready cash. Then Gorringe, realizing that his notes for the ship were nearly due, went to Van- ‘derbilt and put in his billfor actual expenses, amounting to $1:30,000.—$i00,000 for labor, and so forth, and $30,000 for the cost of. the Dessonz. But Vanderbilt, already repent- ing of his promise, struck out the price of the Dessong from the account, and now the un- fortunate Gorringe finds himself saddled with a steamer for which nobody seems to have any particular desire, and which is quietly rustinz tv pieces at the Brooklyn Navy-Yard. As a logical consequence, Gor- ringe govs up and down creation denouncing Vanderbilt as a ‘*beast,?” a “nog.” and in other ters even less complimentary. Dh. HAYES has come to grief in another manner. On the strength of avery shaky reputation as an explorer of the Arctic Ocean, the Doctor has been elected to the Legislature for several sessions. Up to this present year of grace he hasdone nothing very remarkable in bany. But this spring he has. signalized himself as the conspicuous advocate of the hideous state of dirt under which our streets are at present suffering. AN the sreputable people of New York, includiy:; curiously enough the lawyers and phy cians, have united to insist upon an abolition of the laissez aller system, which has made ‘our thoroughfares au abomination before the Lord. The head and front of this sanitary revolution is ChiefJustice Charles P. Daly, of the Court of Common Pleas, who, sooth to say, had been, up to the present moment, the busom friend of. the wicked Polar adventurer. They are both members of the Geographical Society, and the Judze, who is the soul of good nature, has always been the - most energetic champion of the Doctor. But the Judge has at last. broken with the Doctor in the name of our outraged and too patient public, and, on Tuesday last, sur- pnsed his friends by anattack brimming with courage and ialediction ou his former con- frére of the Geographical Society. The up- shot of the whole matter will be the wiping out of National politic differences in munic- ipal affairs, and an early approximation of the Boston system which elects a Mayor and Common Council not because they Re- publicans or Democrats, but because they are committed to explicit guarantees for the general civic welfare. FRANK KAVANAGH It is rather a cynical coincidence that while the ingenious Mfr. Herdic, of Pennsylvania, isexhibiting his first soi-disant cab in the nelghborhood of the Fifth Avenue Hotel, the soi-disant Mr. Frank Kavanagh, who was good enough to attempt the establish- Ment ofasimilar institution in New York Some years ago, has been sentenced in Man- chester to five years’ imprisonment for ob- talning money under false pretenses. Mr. Kavanagh was vouched for by the Herald with especial emphasis. Some of the numer- ous gentlemen of its intellectual department who were fortunate enough to be born in Ireland enjoyed, it seems, the additional ad- Yaniage of being intimate with the celebrated Vanagh,. without aris anda legs, who, as a droll retiection on his own limb- less state, was_a member of Parliament. The certiticate of these authorities that M1. Frank Kavanagh was what he assumed to be athe nephew of the memberless member of Parliament,—of course carried a great deal of weight with it, and Mr. Frank Kavanagh at once received what may be called the dom of the city. He obtained facile ad- mission to all the Clubs, established a con- siderable account at each of the principal A Ais vociferous protestations, the gent i lemen whom he had “enlisted ? Svithdrew rom the speculation, and thus once more the eheap cab project fellto pieces. ‘The disap- pearance ot Mr. Frank Kavanagh, Mrs, Alice ‘arks, and the fox-terrier followed iimme- diately, but the newspapers, for some reason, abstained from publishing ‘the true story of the collapse of the scheme and the hegira of i projectars, Nothing has ever been heard of Mr. Frank Kavanagh since his hurried de- ‘parture until the news arrived on Monday of his conviction at Manchester. Alice Parks was cvidently in at the death. so to Speake for the astute Judge who pronounced Mr. rank Kavanagh’s doom, alluded to her a a person clearly “under the influence of @ prisoner.” No particulars have been phiained, however, of the fate of the fox- “ MI. PETER HERDIC, the philanthropist, who seems to have con- founded the functions of the cab with those of the omnibus, in the latest attempt to lielp New York out of one of its most exasperating predicaments, has already received the bene- dictions of Philadelphia. What in Denver would be called the “pioneer” cab of the system has been for several days visible in Twenty-third street and Fifth avenue. Ibis asingular vehicle, built apparently of pine, on which the desecrating brush of the car- riage-painter has never been laid. Its wheels are rather small and it hangs close to the ground, which, with its cleanliness, seems to be the principal feature to distinguish it from a-Broadway omnibus. The specimen on exhibition is drawn by a couple of horses, and would comfortably seat, on ay cme ency, ten or twelve able-bodied stock- rokers. It is this apparent dependence on numbers which removes the Herdic convey- ance from the category of cabs. We cannot see how the proprietorcan let it go whereso- ever a single patron listeth for anything like a reasonable figure. Miss Lelia Morse, the youngest daughter of the late Prof. “Morse, was married last week to Mr. Franz Rummel. One of the most inconspicuous presents of the occasion Wasa check carefully folded from general serutiny. It was for the sum of $1,000,000, and bore for signature the name of Samuel J. Tilden. , THEATRICAL. J. IL MeVicker is in town, at the Gilsey House, waiting for news, alas! of the saddest kind. He will not hear from his wife till she telegraphs to tell him that the patient soul of Poor little May Booth has passed to the re gions of infinit peace. Some day, perhaps, the story of her martyrdom will be written. She is dying in foggy, London because her faith- ful devotion to -her husband made light even of ‘the certainty of death. Lremember seeing her, some years ago, in the wings of the Academy of Music in Brook- lya, keeping alight with herown sweet breath the pipe on which the Hamict of the evening had wisely come to look as his only stimu- lant. Everybody who met her in London Joved her as inuch as she is loved by those who know her here at home. IJ fear that her inevitable death means the utter and_ final shipwreck of the lifeto keep waich out of the slums has cost her her own. To something almost as sad. John 5, Owens, whey tell me, strikes his friends as bemg not altogether in his full senses. His eyes have no pupils. His. manners are strange and abrupt. The horrible collapse of his new play he only laughs at sardonically as if it did not mean the loss ot a good deal of money to. him. This sort.of thing one generally. associates with copious drinking. ‘not: to say chronic drunkenness. But Owens is not alw: drunk, whereas he is always singular. That such a brilliant genius should (if it all be true) flicker out in this way is terrible. MeVicker has closed with the Harry Peakes-Will Carleton-Selna, Dolaro ‘ Oli- vette” party fora week in Chicago. These are the best singers of the lot, and, as for the chorus, Lean say with truth that -they pre- sent the most wonderfully well-occupied tights of the season. Lnotice a. base libel on Mrs. Rankin in'a Southwestern paper. She Jeaves the “Dan- ite’s” company because she is worn out. having worked ‘d for a whole year and taken no rest. s for jealousy—Bah! I know of no such happy couple on the stage. Their children are their idols; little Pixy and Dido are, Heaven knows, pretty enough for anybody to worship. It is oneof the penalties of life in the theatre that no man or woman of its people can have a headache without becoming scandalous. There 1s a horrible story afloat that Mr. Paran Stevens recently hit her son-in-law on the head with a bottle of soda-water. I fancy that, in truth, this rumor comes of the fact that the son-in-law is in the habit. of stunning himself pretty constantly with ,brandy- bottles. _ ‘The Turf Club, for the support of Jerome, is at jast under way. I look with. more or less patience for an early crop of poker scandals. VERJUICE. POLITE ATHLETICS. Otherwise Bicycling—Annual Meeting of the League of American Wheelmen (és and livery stables, rode to hounds in the best society, and got himself so well adver- tised that ie actually got_appointed a judge of the first Westiniuster Kennel Bench-Show on the mere ground that he was the posses- Sor ofa fox-terrier. He had for company a fs. Alice Parks, 3 cousin, whose hus- was an insurance agent in Aus- tralia, and ‘who came. to America to Secure representative authority of several New York companies. Take him in all and Mr. Frank Kavanagh was a most en- if adventurer, and did an extremely rohtable confidence business, thanks, in litee degree, to the constant guarantees and Tertifications of the Herald. By-and-by his bills. Fan to fall due. and, simultaneously, the tredulity of the cafés and livery-stables began Wane, It was at this crisis that the Her- aa came to his rescue once more with arming little romances about a dog-cateher m whom he had rescued a forlorn mon- orabout some unruly horse which he attempted to ride, and which, with ex- ‘ordinary malice, had thrown him alinost cost of his neck.: Unfortunately, the age Rovelets, while they amused. ot Hot stimulate the languishing confidence ae Kavanagh's creditors. With great hice nce therefore, Mr. Kavanagh went to rays 4S soon as the chase waxed hot, and York out that he had established hi: homes C2 Company, and was in sea was ofa superior quality. Jt was while he that le Kuest of the horse dealers of Chicago ani te ee of the Herald, the original Kav- Caries, the _mentberiess M.P. for County the o's bezan to issue discreet hints that or leeale Of cheap cabs was nothing more ZA ‘han a bold. imposter, who, after rav- mn ‘Uustralia, had inaugurated a new cam- Don oe depredation in the United States, etich, with all proper indignation and from Cites the Herald's protégé came back tlemen cazo and faced a meeting of the zen- the om he had “enjisted in his great Beaty TOPIs scheme,” as the Herald rather ‘DUtTit, In spite, however, of at Boston—Chicago Notes. The annual meet of the League of Ameri- ean Wheelmen will occur at Boston May 2%, and extensive preparations are being made for the reception of several hundred dele- gates from all parts of the United States. Commander C. K. Monroe has issued orders extending cordial invitations to all clubs and. unattached members of the League, and also toall clubs outside the League. Chicago will send two delegates, Milwaukee one, and Elgin one; and many other Western wheelmen will bo in attendanee. Five hun-, dred machines will be in line during the pa: rade, forming an imposing spectacle. In ad- dition to the street parade, Directors will be elected, general business transacted, and the interests of the League looked atter for the coming year. One of the featares of the oc- casion will be a banquet atthe Parker House. ‘The severe winter and the bad condition of the streets of this city has almost entirely prevented bicycling in the open air for sev- eral months, but tho enthusiasts continue their practice at the Exposition Building and elsewhere, and some excellent records have been made of late. There is a noticeably-in- creased interest taken in the. sport, and bi- cycling, which may be denominated polite athieties, is gaining ground throughout the Union. As an indication of the extent of the trade in bicycles, it mav be stated that one American factory has contracts for supply- ing upwards of 8,000 machines this season, and Jarze numbers of fine wheels are ai nually imported. from England. One hun- dred and twenty-five rubber-tired men’s ve- hicles are owned by active amateurs in Chi- creo. George H. Craig, ex-President of the Chi- cago Bicycle Club, departed for the East on Thursday, whence he will sail_for Europe soon to make a wheel tour of England and France during the summer. 4 At the recent election of the Chicago Bicycle Ctub_the following oilicers were chosen: A. W. McClure, President; Burley B. Ayres, Secretary; George H, Hottinan, Treasurer; W. S. Blinn, Captain. There are twenty-seven members at presentattached to the Ulub, the average age being 26 years, and the average size of wheel fifty-four inches. In the record of amateur riding Ayers made arun from the Court-House to South Chica- go, a distance of thirteen miles, in fifty-seven- minutes,—quick roading, considering the state of the streets at thetime. George ll. Craig’s record for path-riding stands as follows: One mile in 2:55, five miles in 15:40, ten miles in 38 minutes, twenty-five in 1 hour S2minutes. This record certainly entitles Craig to the amateur championship of the United States. The Ariel Bicycle Club, of Chicago, has fourteen members. ite ‘Washington is the finest city in the world for wheelmep, Boss Sheppard’s asphaltum pave- ments being unequaled for riding. The streets in the suburbs of Boston are perhaps kept in better condition than the roads Jead- ing from any other large city, and afford ex- evllent opportunities for long runs. <<< A dispatch to the Cincinnati Gazette April 12 sa: “The Metropolitan Opera-House Company (limited) took the title to-day to the site bounded by Broadway, Seventh ave- nue, and Thirty-ninth and Fortieth’ streets, consisting of about twenty city lots. The price paid for the property is 700, the purchase being completed by E. 1. Ludlow &Co. The building, when erected, will cover all the land excepting the two Broadway corners, Which will be leased for improve; iments to correspond with the architecture of the Opera-House. The work will be berun on May 1, and it is supposed that the building will be finished within eighteen months.” —<—<—$_$_——_ Don’t tell your sufferings to everybody, but use St. Jacobs Oil, and speak of its results, : THE, TURE. Latest Particulars Concerning the Americans in England. How the Lincoln Handicap Was Won —Mistake’s Running. in the Race, Charlie Ford to Enter the Double-Tea@ Race—Other Notes and News. THE AMERICANS IN ENGLAND. The forward position held by Mistake in therace for the Lincoln Handicap has at- tracted much attention, for even those who think that the position was gained on suf- ferance say that one of Mr, Lori!lard’s horses will win a big race before long. Of Mistake’s form “Pavo” says in the Post: ‘Whatever ditference of opinion may exist as to whether Post Obit might have secured second money froin Mistake if he had béen equally fit as the latter and similarly ridden out, Mistake ran sufficiently well to afford his new trainer some sort of clew to English handicap form, which, as a stranger, will prove more trust- worthy to him than the match, as timing is only reliable on flat tracks entirely free from gradients like those in America.” “As- modeus,” of the Standard, says: “ Mistake ran sufliciently well to show that, Mr. Loril- lard’s team is in form, and I hope that plucky sportsman’s colors may often be seen in front. Mr. Robbins, who has up to this year had the management of the stud, has, I believe, retired from that responsibil- ity, and Mr, Lorillard’s business is in future to be conducted by an experienced and prac- tical man of business. Iroquois is represent- ed to me as having grown into a very nice horse, and will make his first appearance in the 2.000 Guineas, in which he may not un- likely play a prominent part, while great things are expected of Barrett, who has never yet run in this country, in the City and Suburban, for which he ought to be backed if only as a inatter of speculation, as when he came from America 1 well remember how highly he was spoken of in the Yankee journals, Beyond this, however, I cannot say much, except that he is going on very well and doing a nice preparation.” Of the chances uf Mr. Keene’s Foxhall for the City and Suburhan the Sportsman of the 26th ult. says: “Foxhall is a big Rood- looking colt, American bred, and weighted with 6 stone 7 pounds. On his appearance and torm he has a decided chance to win, for he took two out of the three prizes for which he started last year, and ran a-good second for the other. He is trained by Sher- rard, and if sent to the post good judges will pronounce him to be.a very fine horse’ Me has plenty of bone and muscular power, with rare symmetry tor speed, and stands. on ex- cellent legs and feet. Still he will have a hard task set him to beat the best ot the English-thoroughbreds in the race. even if he can conquer the lighter-weighted four and five year olds, such as Jenny Howlet, 98 pounds: Bonnie Marden, ‘84 pounds; Am- bassadress, 91 pounds; Koulet, 93 pounds, andiBuchanan, 104 pounds, ‘The latest report from Newmarket as to the doings of both stables was tu the 25th, on which date MeDonald, Foxhall, Spendthrift, Gemsbok, Bookmaker, and Don Fulano, in company with St. Louis, Microphone, San Culotte, and Pretty Dance, galloped a mule and a quarter, Mr. Lorillard’s Barrett, Lro- quois, Seneca, and Dakota doing a mile at half speed. ‘The next important race in which the Americans are engaged is the Newmarket Handicap, to be run on Wednes- day, April 20. SALE OF JEWETT. Special Dispatch to The Chicago Tribune, Lexincton, Ky., April 16.—Col. R. G. Stoner has sold to Peter Schatz, of Pittsburg, the five-year old trotting gelding Jewett, by Allie West, for $15,000, Jewett has a three- year-old record of 2:23%, the best perform- ance_by a horse of that age. John Turner and Frank Ellis, of Philadelphia, visted Ken- teky a short time since for the purpuse ot purchasing Jewett, but negotiations for his sale fell through. Wiley Brastield has sold to Mr. Schatz a half interest in the chestnut gelding olla, by Shelby Chief, tor ¢ 5 TRACK TALK. Baton Rouge will be trained again this year. The New Orleans races commence on Tuesday of this week. Greaves will ride Mr. Keene’s colt Foxhall in the City and Suburban. Mr. J. R. Keene has bred Phyllis and Phebe Mayflower to Wanderer. The Macey Bros. will have Fannie Robin- son, record 2:2034, in their stable this season. Mr. J. R. Keene offered the English jockey Cannon $7,000 per year to train his horses, but it was declined. Bair, the driver of Mand S, will have Katie Middleton, So-So, Joe Bunker, Almont Jr., and Bliss in his stable this season. \ {he Kentucky, Derby, and Clark Stakes ill be worth nearly $9,009, which is one reason why Hindoo will come West. Jim Malone has been backed to win $5,000 at40to Lin the Merchants’ Stakes at Louis- ville, and the books on him are closed. Charles Bush, of New Orleans, has pur- chased from Mr. Morris Martin, of this city, the brown mare Tolu Maia, record 2:23!y. Mr. IL P. McGrath, the well-known turf- man, is. recovering his health, and will be seen at the principal running meetings this summer. According to the latest advices Fortissimo has disy di St. Louis as first favorit for the Epsom. Derby, 14 to 1 being the which he is quoted. Mr. If. C. Goodrich, of this city, has pur- chased of George Doubleday, White’ r, Wis., the bay stallion Hickory, record 2: by Goldsmith’s Abdallah. Windoo is a prime favorit in the Louisville Derby. Long Taw leads all in the betting for the Louisville Cup, fimyar isthe first clioice in the Merchants’ Stakes there. A letter from Lexington says that Calycan- oe sures at thus, against whom the books in the Louis- | ville Derby have been closed, has pulled up lame, but that Mr. MeGrath thinks he will come right again in a few days. Jerry Monroe, owner of Charlie. Ford, wants athoroughbred horse asa running mate for the celebrated trotter. Ford willbe rained in Chicago, and driven by John Afur- phy. “Reader ?—Maud 'S. was bred at_the Woodburn Farm, Woodford County, Ken- tucky, the property of A. J.Alexander. She was sired by Harold, a son of Rysdyk’s Hambletonian, and her dam was Miss Kus- sell, by Pilot, Jr. Mr.. George H. Brasfield, of, this city, leaves for Kentucky to-morrow for the pur- pose of attending the sale of trotters to be held at Lexington next Wednesday, and will probably bring back something choice in the ‘way of saddlersand gentlemen’s road horses. Mr. J. H. Camp, of Philadelphia, President of the Belmont Park Association, and owner of the noted trotter Gray Chief (2:2487), died suddenly on Saturday morning Jast.| He was very popular, and leaves a very iarge circle of friends to mourn his loss. ‘The hidden horses begin to come out as the spring work proceeds. According to the betting Mr. Burnham's Banter is the latest member of the dark battalion, as shown by an advance from 20 to 1 to 7 to 1 against him for the Withers; and yetthose who have thus torced the market refuse to give any reason for having done so. A trotting club has been organized in New York, and will lease Fleetwood Park. ‘The only item of interest connected with the mat- terto horsemen isthe fact that before races can be given over the track the money duc to horsemen from the concern while it was un- der the inanagement of. “Major ” Barnard will have to be paid. Fellowplay is regarded by many horsemen as one of the “dangerous” «division this year. He is in the stable of Green Morr! and has beaten Long ‘Taw with ease in every trial they have run. ° Mr. Morris’ other horses, Goldbug, Slipper Dance (by War Dance, out of Long Taw’s dam), and E: plorer are doing well. A meeting of the Executive Committee of the St. Louis Jockey Club was held last - Wednesday, when it was decided to make the first day of the spring meeting, Monday, June 6,a grand Derby day, when the gates will be thrown open free to the public. ‘The President of the Jockey Club, Col C. L. = Hunt, was instructed t6 wait upon the Mayor- elect, WV. L. Ewing, and see Wehe could not prevail upon his Honor to proclaim a half holiday on the 6th of June, so that all classes of the community may be enabled to avail theinselves of the generosity .of the Jockey Club, and have a free blow atthe race-course. Billy Lakeland, the jockey, has five racers in his stable, Kimball -being, considered the best of the lot. He has recovered entirely from the lameness with which he was affect- ed last fall in his near fore leg, and should pr agoou horse in long-distance races, uke of Kent, a remarkably fast but some- what unlucky colt, is also said to be in fine feitle. Some people evidently have an idea that the Philadelphia stallion Nil Desperandum ean beat any horse of his kind in’ the- coun- wy. During the past week offers have been made in this city to back him at even money against Mon Chief in the race to be trotted'in Philadelphia next September. . A similar proposition has been made on behalf of Independence Knox, that Jimmy Dustin will drive in the same race. ‘The American turf never appeared to he so prosperous. Saratoga, in particular, is revelation. For twenty stakes more than 950 entries were received, an average of over forty-seven. The Jerome Park and Mon- mouth Park entries, too, are unprecedented- ly numerous. Before long there will be no pecuniary object in sendiny horses to En- gland. The program for the Washington trotting meeting has been changed in several re- spects. Purse No. 6, free for all pacers, has been made $1,000, divided $500, $350, ‘$150, $100, On the fourth day, a pacing race, 2:20 class, purse S500, divided $250, $1: $75, and $50, has been added. This nakes the aggregate for the Philadelphia and Wash- ington Circuit $22,650, and for Washington ‘The Michigan associations have at last set- tled down toa good understanding of each other. and announce their dates as follows: Fort Wayne, May 24 to 27, inclusive; Detroit, June 1 to 4; Jackson, June 7 to.10; Saginaw, 14 to 17; Grand Rapids, 21 to 24; Lonia, 28 to July 1; Battle Creek, July 4 to Their classes will soon be arranged, Mr. G. Ward, of Grand Rapids, is_the Secretary of the cii cuit, ‘The other Secretaries will be an- nounced shortly, when the classes will be made known. A correspondent of the Spirit of the Times, writing from Philadelphia, sa ‘The young mare ‘Trinket been most carefully win- tered, and is now in most splendid form and condition. If this mare does not develop into one of the ‘great lights’ of the trotting turf, then all the flattering and promising jn- dications of the past will go for nought. She has already demonstrated, beyond question, that she possesses the great and important attribute of speed ; and it only remains for ‘Turner to educate her up to that standard of endurance and steadiness where that speed exn be used to advantage when oceasion de- mands it. That Turner will accomplish this part of her education, no-one doubts whois atall conversant with the patience and per- severence. of the master — mechanic. In Turner’s sight, Trinket Is as precious a3 the apple of his eye, F'rom_the tips of her ears to the end of her tail, she is the very ideal of a trotter,and reminds one of the old Queen of the Turf,—Goldsmith Maid. We have never seen Trinket in any of her races with other ‘horses, but last October, at Fair- view Park. Dover, Del., we saw Turner drive her publicly, over the half-mile track, on a raw, gusty day,a mile in 2:194%. ‘Taking into consideration the condition of the track and weather, it was a most remarkable per- formance. A single swallow doés not make summer, nor does a single trial, however fast it may be, make a race-horse. Still, there areample grounds in Trinkets record and performances, combined ‘with her. superb breeding, to predicate the opinion on, that in John E, Turner’s hands a brilliant future is in store for her.’”? ART OF PAPER-MAKING, An Essay Read Before the Chicago Sta- tioners? Board of ‘Krade, April 11, 1881, by J. W. Butler. ‘The art of making paper is considered one of the greatest blessings yet brought out by theingenuity of man; affording means of communication, making of records, and, to & large extent, the carryingon of the com- merce of the world. ' The first paper was probably made in Egypt from papyrus, The'ancient Mexicans used a kind of paper prepared from the Agave Americana, or maguay plant, which grows upon the table-lands. It resembles the Egyp- tian papyrus, and took ink and color well, as preserved specimens attest, The Chinese were the first to form from vegetable fibre the web which constitutes our modern paper. ‘They used the inner bark of several trees, especially. the mulberry, the bamboo, re- duced to pulp by beating, rice, and other straws, slik, cotton, and rags. The e exhibited in the Paris Universal ion of 1867 beautiful specimens of paper made from the bark of the mulberry tree. Among the numerous materials used for making paper have been American aloe, asparagus, aspen, bamboo, banana, bass- wood, bulrushes, blue grass, cattail cedar, china grass, corn-husks, cotton, espurto, and many other grasses, flax, heinp, jute, mul- berry bark and wood, mummy cloth, oat and. wheat straw, poplar, papyrus, rags, and ste papers. The principal materials are: second, waste third, straw; fourth, esparto grass; fifth, wood: sixth, cane; seventh, jute and ‘The theory of reducing the differ- sinto pulp and forming them into paper and other articles of use 6 an in: teresting study, but time will not. admit of taking lip that branch of our subject, hence we will omit it and pass on to say that be- sides the manufacture of ordinary paper, the pulp prepared from whatever materials be devoted to an intinit variety s, Such as pasteboard, boards of di inds, papier mache, sheathing for v boats, furniture, _car-wheels, tubes, wi bukets, and other household utensils. Both the Chinese and Japanese make. furniture, clothing, shoes, umbrellas, handker- ‘st, cotton and linen rags; paper; chief, napkins, twine, and many useful arti- el mi this material. In England, paper sed for water-pipes and tanks has been U: found to keep water from. treezing Jonger than any other material used. In 1808 Col. Mauratori, of the French army, began experl- menting with a paper cuirass, light to wear, but tonzh enoush to resist bullets. Papyrus, chiefly of ture, continued in use in several centu- ies after th hristian era, and was finally ed by cotton. ‘Cheart of manufactur- ing paper from vegetable. fibre was derived from Samarcand, where it was introduced from China in the year 651, and thence spread over Europe, having | been in- troduced at Mecea in 707. | About the same time Saracens are said to have learned ¢ paper from cotton, and they brought 0 nin TL. ‘The bulls of the Popes in the eighth and ninth century were written upon cotton paper; the oldest manuscript written upon it in. England isin the Bodleian collection of the British Museum, having the date 1049, Ii 1085 the Christian successors of ig made paper from rags 1 raw cotton. Tho oldest n paper having a date is said. the Kings of specimen of lin to be a treaty of pence between ¢ Arragon and Castile, of 1177, As stated in the “Chronology of Paper and Paper making,” by J. Munsell: Paper mills were in operation at Toledo, in Spain, in 1085, making. paper from rags with thé use of molds for torming the sheets; and in 1151 the best paper was inade at Jatavia from raw cotton and rags, which were reduced to pulp by stamping them in mills instead of grinding, after the Moorish method. We do not learn from history that any further improvement worthy of notice was made in the manufacture of paper until the year 1 when John Spileman, a German, who was'a jeweler to Queen Elizabeth, built a mill at Dartford in Kent. 4 3 cele brated by a poem on paper of the as fate’ a 1663 England imported £100,000 worth of paper from Holland. In England reat improvements were introduced by the, French refugees of 1685, and trom this time. the business improved in importance. in 1690 particular attention becan to be directed to the production of white paper, almost ail previously made being brown. The cel brated nianufacturer, James Whatman, had his mill in operation at Maidstone in 1770; and from that time to the present its product has been famous for its superior quality. The rag engine, by which the raw. materi is reduced to pulp, is a German in- vention, and less than 200¢years_ old. A late as 1750, in tis land of in- enious workmen, rags were reduced to pulp ¥ mortars or stamps. ‘The greatest ad- vances in the manufacture of paper were then nade by the French. In 1799 Louis Robert, an_employé of Francois Didot: of Essoness, France, introduced an invention which was patented the same year, by which aper twelve feet wide and an indefinit length could be made. In 1601 the mac ine was: exhibited in England, : where ‘the sta- tionery firm of Messrs. Fourdrinier Brothers made arrangements for its pufehase, at the same time spending . £60,000 for improve- ments. “Their experiments ended in the present Fourdrinier machine of our mtlls—a machine that has made possible the enormous baper industry of the world—an industry of which Pliny wrote 1800 years ago: . “ All the usaxes of civilized lite depend in a remarka- ble degree upon the employment of paper.” The brothers Fourdrinier reaped no’ advat taxe from their invention. They spent their entire fortune and died in poverty. The first paper-mill, established in this countr, was by a nativé of Holland, in 1690, at Roxborough, 1 Philadelphia. ‘The pa- ber was made from linen rags. A papel mill was built in 1714 upon Chester Cree! Delaware. It was afterward owned by a Alr. Wilcox, who furnished Franklin with paper from it. In the Colony of Massachu- setts Bay, as appears from the statement of Salmon in his Modern flistory (vol. 3, p. 430, a paper-inill was built about the year 1730, the date of the first mill in Massachu- se, under encouragement of the bounty of- fered by the Legislature of 1723. ‘Lhe mill Was run with varied suecess for some years, and then ceased operations. In 1776 the Leg- islature passed resolutions for the appoint- ment of a suitable person in each town to re- ceive rags, and the people of the State were urged to save their rags for paper-makine. ~The first paper-mnill built in Northern New York was in 1783, at Troy. In 1810 the num- ber of paper-mills in this country was esti- mated at 185, For want of time we will now Dass over a period of si y-one years, pregnant with vast improvements, not only in the uses of the ineans for reducing the raw material to pulp, but also in the: machinery for making paper, and state the condition of this branch of Awerican industry as it ap- pears to-day. ‘Chere are now abdout 1,000 paperanills (this includes those making pulp as well), built and being built, in the United States, with a productive capacity of about 280 tons per day, and employing a capital of not less than $50,000,000. ‘The value of the product made is estimated at $129,000,000 per annum, It is safe to say that no other product of home manufacture so completely excludes the foreign article. | Ameriean rimay be found in the markets of every ized nation on the globe. It has taken the first premiums at the international - bitions. ‘The late International Exhibi at Melbourne, Australia, had eleven American exhibitors of paper, eight of whom carried off tirst prizes. Our export trade in paper is growing each year. A manufacturer of fine papers at Holyoke, Mass., said to me, a short time ago, that our writing papers are becom- ing more in favor every year by foreign dealers, CURRENT GOSSIP. ODE TO ARKANSAS. New York World. Some men who live in Arkansas Are much disgruntied by the law Through which it now has come pasy Their State is not Arkansas, Pshus! Iknow that folks in Arkansas Are sometimes fresh and green as graw; ‘What hotel-clerks sti}l deem them crass * For trying to blow out the gaw. I know they drink their whisky ras, And hold me but a sad jackaw Beeuuse I purt my hair before By more tuan geometric las. e: Butstill, that men from Arkansas, Should for pronouncing care one stras, Fills me with wonder, and, alaw! ‘With something quite akin to as! In thee, thou man from Arkansas, Heuceforward will I ne‘er pick a3; Come pledge me in a social slaw, And, it I jested, let it paw. Now, when some cultured Eastern aw rays to the West, hee-hus! hee-nus! Jill straightway bid him sbut bis Jas, And point to thee, old Arkunsasi THE. COLOMBIER. . Parts Correspondence New York Evening Post. When Sarah Bernhardt went to America it was reported here that she had made a con- tract with a leading publisher for a book to continue her comments on the manners and customs of the peoples of the United States, It is to be hoped for the sake of human hila- rity that Sarah will -be induced to publish this book, and to add to it in appendix the ex- tremely amusing letters which Marie Col- ombier, one of her companions, has written to certain of the daily newsparers here. ‘The sprightly Colombier indulges in remarks which do not indicate an entire sympathy with American institutions, and which show that she is disposed.to be critical before hay- ing studied very deeply the matters which she criticises. ler observations on divorcee, on the position of women in American society, on railway traveling, on palathl hotels and second-class hostelries, on ice and snow, on palm-trees, on alligators (by the way, she ly alligators crocodiles), are funny to that ent that tl leserve reproduetion, If no French publisher can be obtained for them Jet us hope that au American may be enter- prising enough to buy them. | ‘he miscon- ceptlons and amusing ignorance of a light- headed and light-hearted French actress on her travels will certainly furnish some inter- esting pazes for posterity to contemplate. Colombier gives one or two vivid pictures of her journeys, one especially in which she discourses, in the melodramatic style em- ployed by heroines on the stage, concerning the.stoppage of a theatrical train by mount- ains of snow between Springfield, It, and Chicago. 1 quote a bit for your delectation: “Wo are all in bed, when after bumps and jostlings innumerable, I feel that the train comes toa halt. - Notatall. Weare caught inthe snow; we are wedged iu between mountains of it; great ridzes and valleys of itall around us. A locomotive suddenly looms up before the train. I think that we are to be crushed! ‘The time to recommend my soul to theeternal! Oh, joy! this loco- motive has come in search of us. So at last we reach the environs of Chicago, But there are, in sight of the station, new obstacles— and no provisions! And we ought to be at Chicago for amatinée at half-past2! «And itisnow noon and we have liad no break- fast | Profound despair! Minutes long as ages! Mile. Colombier also informs us that Sarah Bernhardt |i very much like a savage. “Besides myscif,” she says, .‘tno one ap- er; as to receiving ‘itors, impos- proaches her; si P sible; time fails, and after all she only came to Ameriva to find dollars. She has gut them. ‘Shundred and sixty thousand franes for a hundred performances is pretty guod.”” SPELLING-SCHOOL HARMONY. Detroit Free Press. A Detroiter, who had occasion this winter to visit Gratiot County, was invited -to a spelling-school in a district school-house, andhe reached the place to find it crowded and deep interest apparent among the audi- ence. ‘The spelling soon began, and in a little time only six or eight contestants were left. One of these’ was a giant named William Jones, and it was evident that he had come there to conquer. When he spelled *jeal ousy” witha‘g” they tied to make hin sit down, but he rapped on the desk with his Dig fist and replied : A “Tdon’t know nuthin’ *bout Webster or any other foreigner, aud I don’t care. ve allus been used to spellin’ it “gealousy,” and [ ain’t goin’ to Knock off to please a few woodchucks.” ks = ‘As he would not sit down, he was. allowed after he had missed se’ I more words. last only the De- troiter and Big William had the floor, and while the latter was struggling with the word “sympathy,” a window near the former opened softly, and a man whispered: Say, stranger, kin you spell *ehromo 2’? * Of course L can.” “Well, it’s goin? to floor Bill, and don’t you forget it, and the teachersent ine around here to say to you that you'd better climb out and skip before the climax comes. * What climax?” - “ Why, the one we had a month ago. That *ere Bill went down on the word ‘ euphony,’ and the chap trom Lowa who was. left stand- ing had to be carried home ina blanke When Bilt gets through with ‘sympathy,’ the next word will be ‘chromo,’ and you'd better start it off *k-r-o’ ar be ready to Jump through this winder and inake forthe woods, for that ere Billis bound to out-spell this deestrick if he has to lick every human bein’ a : ‘The Detroiter had a good eye for harmony in chromos, and he wisely permitted Bill to be the last-one left standing. . DISIL JOKE. AF ‘San Francisco Chrontcle.. “T think,” said a well-known orchestral leader, “the best joke ever played in this town was on an ambitious ainateur pianist when Gottschalk was here, The amateur’s father was the owner of a large hall, and he offered the use of it to Gottschalk for his Denetit, There was to bea piece for eight WENTY-FOUR PAGES Ty ' pianos, and the amateur was to play one of the instruments. I was the leader. I thought Gottschalk would have a fit when 1 told him that the amateur couldn’t play three straight notes of the piece. a : “**Heis sure to: throw us all out,’ saic I, ‘and ruin the performance.” “Gottschalk swore like a Major, but twa3 no good. ‘The bills were out, and he couldn’t go back of his program, even if the gift of the hall tor the night was no consideration to him: At Inst Thié on an idea that fixed the whole business. The amateur came down to rehearsal, and. we praised him up until he thought he was to be the star of the night. As soon as he left we took the ham- mers out of his prano and made it dumb as an oyster. I guessed he would never Know the difference, with seven pianos going at once.’? a! The tuneful convention laughed, “And just as I thought.” said the leader, hammering on the table with his glass, **that amateur or his friends never discovered the trick, “Now “No, sir; he just sailed in and pounded on that piano as if ie was the worst enemy he ever had. He'was bound to show off among so many good pianists, and hammered on his keyboard until the pei i n nearly blinded him. Now and then I looked at him approvingly to give him fresh courage, and every time that I did he gave the piano a lick that’ nearly made -matchwood of it, His friends all around threw boquets at him till he looked like a wedding-areh, und when it was all over his fond parent fell on his neck in the green-room and slipped a check tor $250 into his hand. ‘The old man didn’t know whether he was standing on his head or his heels, he was so tickled, and the way he set up the wine for the crowd was a caution.” . < * Didn’t he dofine,’ said heto me, ‘among so many first-class professionals, too?? “¢T never heard an amateur do_so well in public,’ said I, and what’s more I meant it, eh? Don’t you think I was right ?”? DIFFICULTIES OF AN ORATOR. Brooklyn Eagle. “Now, my dear,” said Mr. Spoopendyke, as he drew writing materials toward him, “now, L want your woman’s wit. ‘These fellows insist that I must respond to the toast, ‘ Woman,’ to-morrow night, and 1 must prepare a few remarks. If we both go at it, we'll get up something nice.” “What you want,” argued Mrs. Spoopen- dyke, entering into the spirit of the under- taking, and tappmg her téeth with her thimble, “ what you want is woman in her various phases.” “What lL want isa speech,” retorted Mr. Spoopendyke. “They haven’t put me down for a panorama... I want a short address, full of good points and pleasant things about the ladies. Now 1 shall begin, *Fellow-citi- zens——’” “But women ain’t fellow-citizens. Ishould say—” ‘ “You'd say, ‘fellow back hair,’ that’s what you’d say. .’m addressing the people, and they’re all men; don’t you see? l’ve got to commence somewhere, and then 1 go on. Now, ‘Fellow-citizens, regarding women, our origin, our companions, our posterity, our mothers, our wives, and our daughters, What more can we say than that they give us life, make it happy, and soothe it’s decline? How’s that 2” “Is that the same woman?” asked Mrs. Spoopendyke, bending over the table. “ It dow't strike me that she woul ‘e to have it putin that way. Why, not *Fellow- , We are ussem——’ ?? What's the matter with you?” demanded Mr. Spoopendyke. “Tye got to open with a sentinient, and you can’t find. anything more graceful than that. ‘Then I will go on: “She rises in the cradle, reaches her meridian at the altar, and goes down ina Hood de dew at the grave.’ Can you grasp pat ? “T don’t like that as well as the other,” re- monstrated Mrs. Spoopend: “You make her a mother while she’s a baby, and as’ for the graye part. you don’t stop-to think that she may be another meridian by getting mar- ried agai I would say something like this: *Fellow-citizens, we are assem—’ ? “No, L won't either. © Who’s going, to get married again? ‘Can’t you see that I’m only ‘ing out the first i f origin, compan- ionship, and posterity Rising in the cradle means giving us birth. Now you hold up. Suppose L say next: ‘We revere her as mother, adore her as wife, and. d,’—say, what. do we do for her as daughter 2” “Well, you might say, we dress her, and edireate Bets and keep an eye on her, and— an “Spank her! dod gast it! Spank her! Why don’t you say spank her?” howled Mr. Spoopendyke. | “Can’t you think of some thing poetical 2 Pye got that we revere our mothers and adore our wives, and I want something for the daughter.. Can’t you origi- nate something 2” ah “We providea home for her. Wouldn’t—?”” “Yes, of course!” raved “Mr, Spoopen- y “That's. the idea! That fixes ‘itl All you want now is two ‘prolonged laugh, ters,’ four ‘continued applauses,’ one *en- thusiasm,’ and ‘a voice? to be an oration! *Fellow citizens, we furnish her with poached eggs and beans! Fellow citizens, we revere her as mother, we adore her as wife, and as daughter, we change the sheets once a week! Fellow citizens, we pass her the gravy! Fellow citizens?” yelled Mr. Spoopendyke, gesticulating like a horse- chestnut tree. ‘*‘Felluw-citizens, if she wants her beef rare, we giveitto her! Fel- low citizens, we give her all the dod gasted butter she can paste on her bread!” Is that what you wantmetosay? Expect I’m going to stand around and make a measly ass of myself? ‘Fellow citizens, as mother we re- vere her! Fellow ci Ss. as Wite we adore her!. Fellow citizens, to helpa nan get up a specch she’s the dod slamdest donkey that ever raised a family!’ walt-h-h-h,” shrieked. Mr. Spoopendyke, purple in the face, “got any more suggestions? Know any more eloquence 2” ‘and the worthy gentleman Jeaned back in his chair speechless. “Couldn’t you leave her out altogether??? recommended Mrs, Spuopendyke. “Cant you just revere her as mother and adore her as wife? As. for the daughter, you might pass it over with saying, * Fellow-citizens, We are assem—’”” “Yes, ori can cut her throat!” proclaimed Mr. Spoopendyke. ‘* Lean take ‘her to the pound! Lean salt her down tor winter use! Dod gast the speech!” and Mr, Spoopendyke danced on the fragments of his notes. “*To- morrow night I'll answer that toast by telling what a dod-gasted old mule yowd make of any man that would listen to you.” and Mr. Spoopendyke banged himself into the bed like a beer spigot, and went to sicep. “Well,” thought Mrs. Spoopendyke, a3 she tovk dow nher hair and put it up again, “I don’t see why he couldn’t say, ‘Fellow- citizens, we are assembled here to say some- thing poetical about women, and the best I we show her when we don’t al- r, and we Jove her when we witys show it.” That's sensible, and so.” sighed Mrs. Spoovendyke, falline over her hnsband’s boots, and then the good. wonian opened the window on her spouse’s side of the bed, and sticking a few pins in the pillow in case’she should want them in the night, she went prayerfully to sleep. THE DICTATOR OF FASHIO. Paris Letter. Imay be mistaken, but [have always un- derstood that M. Worth commenced life as a entter-out in’ Messrs. Shoolbreds establish- ment. That he has now toa certain extent retired from active participation in the busi- ness in favor of his son is a well-known fact. ‘Though, of course, the tales told of this autocrat of the fashion have often been foolishly exaggerated, still there was some truth at the bottom. Instead of, as is usually the case, being the slave of his customers’ whims and fancies, he, from: the very bes ning, turned the: tables upon them, and di tated to them. ‘fo many women this was an uncomifortable'state of. things, and they pre- ferred xoing elsewhere, but enough always d, and these finding they gained by submission, were only too’ glad to wear the chain for the sake of the result. Lneyer saw Mr. Worth in a dressing gown, but [have been assured he has at times ap peared thus accoutered before his ** clients,” and the latter often’ deigned_ to partake of a cup of afternoon tea while discussing, or per- haps it would be more correct to say, listen- ing to the suggestions of the oracle. ‘The following ‘scene, which took place in the rooms over which Mr.. Worth, Jr.. pre- sides, were detailed to mea’ short time since by 2 young Inssian Jady. The toilet. in course of preparation had presented more than usual ditticulty; if had been tried on once, twiee, unsuccessfully, Art triumphed at last, and the lady was requested to give her couturiex one last audience, but to get her hair dressed previously in a particular fashion by some specified coitfeur. The dress was put on and Mr. Worth came in. He was enchanted with the result of his work. The Jady, standing in the middle of .the room, was minutely exam- ined from near and afar, and the attendant was desired to draw out a fold here, and to take ina bit there. Still there was something wanting. Was it in the toit- et? No. The surroundings were Inharmon- ious, that was it. As soun as this dawned on the perceptions of the artist, he led the way into his father’s private room, hung round with pastel portraits of Louis XV.’s time, and and not till then, was he sat-. isfied, and desiring that there shotild de as many witnesses of his triumph as possible, hecalled not only to all the young women employed in the show-room, but also. for the female bookkeeper. The heroine, if the part of lay figure which she.enacted may be so termed, fully accustomed as she was to run the gauntlet of hundreds of spectators in her own world, acknowledged that she ex- perienced a feeling of shame, and -felt her- self blushing painfully beneath her poudre ag riz and her scientifically arranged ban- eaus, RECKLESS EXTRAVAGANCE, Eurney’s Progress. At a-recent dancing-party, one of our lové- ly young débutantes was noticed standing beside a.costly upright piano, chatting with her escort. Supper was in progress, and at the lady’s elbow, on the top of the piano, wasa plate of terrapin. Presently another gentleman appeared, carrying an ice; in the service-he had somewhat sviled his dainty hands, and in her anxiety to repair the dam- age, the fair subject of his devotions bade him hold his hands over the terrapin plate, while she deluged them with the contents ofa champagne glass thatstood by. Naturally the liquid carried with it the greasy contents of the small dish, and down went the whole mixture into the delicate machinery of the piano. Did my lady care? Not a whit; she was only a débutante, but she was a true convert, and she laughed merrily, and showed her pretty teeth, as if heartily amused at the de~ yastition. She seemed even to resent the in- terferance of an elder lady, who, disgusted at the destruction, and, perhaps, moved to pity by the injury being done to the piano, almost “a thing of life,’ came to the rescue and stopped the sticky stream that was pour- ing relentlessly over the keys and fragile wires. g QUIPS. ‘The first black Friday occurred in Robin- son Crusoe’s time. ‘The hens are organizing a mutual laid so- ciety. ‘ Fish are so plenty in some parts of Canada that in order to tell a first-class lie the sports- man has to swear he didn’t catch any. When the contemplated Mexican railways are all built, American capitalists will, pro- bably “revel in_ the hauls of the Monte- zuma.”—Boston Bulletin. A New York paper publishes ‘The death- roll,” but singularly enough fails to put the saleratus biscuit under it. It rains alike on the just and the unjust— on the just mainly because the unjust have borrowed their umbrellas, If nothing will do but the dagger, then welcome the dagzer.—Wendell Phillips. O, Mr. Phillips, please don’t. Are you sure thata bent pin wouldn’t answer your pur- pose ?—Lousville Courier-Journal. A client says to his wine-lealer, who pro- poses to sell him a brand of new wine: * Tell. ne, now, this wine is not too heady 2”? Wine seller (with alacrity)—* Heady 2° Why, it’s not even wine!”—Puris Figaro. ‘The steamer extinguished the flames, thus preventing, as a local reporter beautifully writes, “a fearful holocaust, in which that devouring element, the fire-tiend, would haye reveled with tongues of forky joy.” eae If there is one time calculated to blister a man’s iuinortal soul all over with’ profanity it is when, his shirt half way on, he discov- ers that the washerwoman, by a process known only to that. species of female, has“ stuck the sleeves tightly ‘together—and the head of the circus procession is just turning the corner. q aA. coutemporary notes the following. re- murk made by a German gentleman theother day as he was explaining to a visitor the wonders of the Brooklyn bridge: ** Dot- pig pridgeways,” said he, “is almost awful. in dose oxpainses vot itdakes oop auet some bokets. Put no lants is like dthis Jants.. As you look up at de pridgeways and dowen yn yourselef you say, *Shplendit! Vot is fif- teen or twenty tollars 2”? : a Pea Blossom. a diminutive African, was up for stealing a box of sardiues. »**Don’t- you know,” said’ the Recorder, “thatit is wrong for you tu steal as small a thing as ean of sardines and be caught at it “’Tain’t my fault, boss; foah God it ain’t,” and the young culprit be; to_blubber. “Whose fault is it, then “De store keeper, sah. Ef he hadn’t come in and cotched me when he did Lwould have got of wid a whole dozen boxes.”—Gulveston News. ‘ FEMININE NOTES. 3 A girl with$59,000 has a very good figure if she isn’t handsdme. . Accuracy of expression is necessary. When you say that a girl’s hair is as black as coal it is just. as well to specify that you do not ainexn a red-hot coal. What is an anchorite? “Why,a young man whe will go to a party, pick out the prettiest girl, and anchor right by her for the whole evening, to the disgust of the other fellows. The Tennessee Legislature has chosen’‘a woman.as engrossing clerk. The susceptible baldheaded members sw that she-is the most engrossing clerk they ever had. An old bachelor who died recently lefta will dividing all his property equally among the surviving women who had refused him, * Because,” said he, “to them I owe all my earthly huppiness.” *s A machine to invent plausible excuses for aman whose business detains him “down- town” until midnight, and whose wife al. ways salutes him upon his return home with the conundrum, “ Where in the world have - you been until this time o’night 2? would make the inventor. richer than Vanderbilt In less than two years. 7 She raised a paper rule to strike her hus- band and as it happened, the rear end of it grazed her chinand drew blood, whereupon she tumbled all ina heap in the middle of the floor and howled piteously, But he only Te! ‘ked with the utmost composure: *My- love, it’s a poor rule that won’t work both aways.” “You ain’t taking any stock in woman's ~ love, eh?” “No,” he answered despondent- ly, “its all flummery.” “Very strange,” added his friend. ‘* You didn’t use to. talk that way.” “Perhaps not,” he replied, T've been married nearly two years and there are fuur pair of trousers hanging up inn. closet waiting to be patched, and not a stite! taken in them yet.” ‘There has been a great dea! of bad feeling between two Galveston families. hence there. was much surprise when they intermarried, A friend, in speaking to the father ot the’ bride, asked it the families had made friends. “Notabitof it. Lhate every bone in my .- son-in-law’s body.’ Why did you let him marry your daughter, then 2?” ** To get even. with him. I guess you don’t kuow that girl’s mother as ,well as Ido.” A gushing young Indy who purchased a bottle of Dr. Qnaque’s health bitters, none gennine unless the Doctor’s name is blown In the wrapper,—sent him the following tcstl- nionial: “Dear Doctor: I think your bitters are too awfully lovely! After taking bulf a bottle E could sleep until 9 o'clock in the morning, while ma was getting breakfast ready. Sty health is just tuo sweet for any- thing, your delighttul medicines are just too supremely nice,” ete.—Norristown Herald. a + There is a great dent of. talk about the possi- bility of an American colt winning the English Derby this yeur. This greatest of races will be runJunel. There are only two American en- tries of any merit, and these sre Pierre Loril-. Jnrd’s Barrett und Iroquois, Mr. Keene's Fox- bali, a cult thought by many superior to either. _ of them, is not inthe Derby. Iroquois never ran in this country, but Barrett 3 well known here. He ran in four races at Jerome Park. Long Branch, and Gravesend, in two of which he wag beaten by Spinuway at even weixbts, he beating her twice when she was carrying more weight. Untess be bas made marked progress since his last appearance here he cunnot win the Derby. Mr. Loritlurd sent hin to England. however, rather ou the busis of sowe brilliant trinis with Parole than on the record of bis public. per- forwunces. Iroquois is in great favor with some of the turf experts of the London press, who sity thut he Js fur better than be was last yeur: that he is training excellently. and that he * is faster than either Barrett or Foxhall All three of these fine American colts are entered: for the City and Suburban, the great handicap which Parole won two years azo. This is to ba run April. Exch of the three has been freely backed to win, and indeed Foxball bas been ut times the favorit over all in the betting. The running in the City and Suburban will prove a guide to that in the Derby. Should either Bar rett or Iroquois win !t, confidence in his proes ' pects for the greatest prize of*he turf would go up immensely. “but .