The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, May 26, 1931, Page 10

THE BISMARCK TRIBUNE, TUESDAY, MAY 26, 1931 REGU S PAT OFF ©1931 BY NEA SERVICE. INC. “Take a look at these suits, buddy—I got ‘em marked so low I hope you don't buy.” | NOW YOU TELL ONE THE RICH EDITOR The editor of a country newspaper retired with a fortune. When the secret of his success he rep. 1 “I attribute my ability to retire! with a $100,000 bank balance. after thirty years in the newspaper field, to close application to duty, pursuing @ policy of strict honesty, always| Practicing rigorous*rules of econom: and to the recent death of my uncle, who left me $98,500."—Boston News Bureau. TALKIE YARN | The film people had made the pic- ture from the book. That is, they had almost made it. They were on the last scene. And they were stuck. ‘They couldn't figure how to end it. Suggestion after suggestion as to how to end it was made but none seemed. to be the right ending. And then somebody got a wonder- ful idea. A novel suggestion, some- thing no one had thought of. “Why not have the same ending as the book has?” was the amazing sug- gestion. —Judge. ANOTHER NEEDED INVENTION Wife (with newspaper)—Hete's an| Italian has invented an earthquake ‘announcer that works like an alarm clock. Hub—If we could get one that worked the other way about, we might get that cook of ours up on time. Bankers suggest boosting business by giving foreign countries a line of credit. Well, credit made things boom here at home—but now look at us. | GAG Fred Kaplan, the attorney, tells about the patron who tried to cut up his steak. After digging into it a| dozen times with his knife and fork,| he summoned the waiter. “Here,” he growled, “take this steak back!” “No can do,” said the waiter. “Why not?” asked the customer. “You bent it,” was the reply. Governor Roosevelt orders the po- lice to drive the Jack Diamond gang out of Greene county. This reminds us of the old story about Charles Chapin. An Evening World reporter Was sent to interview a man who not only refused to talk, but also kicked the reporter out of the house and down the front steps. The reporter telephoned, “He won't say a word, Mr. Chapin, and he abused me and kicked me out. I can't get that story.” “Go back and see him,” Chapin is sup-| posed to have said, “He can’t intimi- ald Tribune. TRAFFIC TERMS EXPLAINED Right of Way: Something you al- ways have over the z!*br!! sap driv- ing the other car. Full Stop: Slowing down to twenty-eight miles an hour at an ar-| terial sign. Hospital Zone: A section of street to be traversed very slowly, as there| may be a pretty nurse waiting for a street car. Traffic Jam: A Sunday ceremonial |staged by motorists who aren't going anywhere and decide to make U-turns i idate me."—F, P. A. in the N. Y. Her-| A Wild Ride? { as soon as they get there.—Judge. What a world! If they make love on the highway, they are hated for Middle aged is that sad period slowing up traffic; if they turn off| when you're too old to hold a girl's hand and too young to give her a fatherly kiss. “I could be in Paris getting a di- vorce if you hadn't dragged me to this awful place!” | on a side road, everybody looks sus- picious. “Whatta we going to do this eve- ning?” “Let's take a couple of drinks and find out.” Daily Cross-word Puzzle | Solution of Yesterday's Puzzle 5 ACROSS 1, Damage 5. Stupid person 8) Mountain whence Moses saw the prom. City In Okla homa 9. Omitted in ised land . Measure of e surfac » Condensed atmospheric moisture pronouncing . Large recep ta 1, rey 15. Strong draft 17. Obey PIEIE of air 18, Lowest whole fete: Passageway number Burrowed 19. Lukewarm Jot 80 old 21. Without covers ItETy Repose con- inj a idence in 23, One who EVIE! Swindles testifies un- Pie] =T Rests 20, cater cath PIEIR Seed con- . Came to tainer earth th Apis Come out inte 27. Payable view 28, Long-legged Hardened 53, Clear profit Signity bird Portion 53. Grant the ranched HS me 1 i. Pape fed axe use of Mature . Floor covering 41. Sewed edge 39. Part of a 81. Old stake in 42. Pronoun COWN flower sword prace 44. Food staple 1, Possessed 41, Exclamation tice 48. Press forci- 2. 100 square 42. Central part. 82. River in cen- bly meters, of & wheel tral China 49. Greek letter 3. Sound of an 43. Before 83, Slumber 50. On the ocean explosion Make lace 35, Beetle 51. Honey gath- 4. Pine tree ven: COI | i | | SALESMAN By Cowan “Es, THis (s YOUR GoaRbINe- \WEcL, I'Ll SEE IE House Lady, AND | WANT Your. ROOM RENT, TONIGHT X ME WHAT 1 BE- y Fal HIND IN My RENT. SAM MORE CAREFUL - SOMEONE WD. A ROE BOO’ AND HER BUDDIES oR OUT YoU Go! BAGE Re GEE , WILLIE --~ NOW Yoult HWE TBE - NO FOOLMY «= OR BE TAKIN’ Yoo FoR GU22'LL ADVANCE vrs ow ekY HENRIETTA > *500,000. 2 Gnp How AT LAST — 1) CAN HARDLY BELIEVE 1M #500,000.% THAT IM WORTHTNAT MUCH = AND |) THREW RECEIVED THE 1S WHAT SNE CAN NOW | SAN PAY OFF My HER OUT OF THE GLAD NEWS= CASN NER TOM CARR, DEBTS= GET THE JEWELS BACK orn TRIed TO inl STOCK IN| FOR TODAY = Wace alpen) cha RE ARiAT Ys Me HAY ELLs IF TES MONEY TIMES IT: AND = Te - a TERS 1 TARNT NAL VALOR = ‘AND THE CLEVEREST MAN ON EARTH % SHE'S ALTE THIS 1S WHAT THE To You a 17 wit BE A BATTLE GREAT MERGER DID ) OWE IT ALL = Py 70 THE END— FAND Tom CARR = MAY FORTUNE AGAINST, WE HAS CLEANED 4 UP MILLIONS a wv RICH FOR LIFE = AND ANDY GUMP- FOXY ANDY- 4 & DO YOU_ REMEMBER WAY BACK WHEN = AGAINST NiS WIFE'S ADVICE - HE INVESTED $10,000. IN TOM CARR STOCK — ph hata , EWS = DID HE CLEAN UP ? ” WHORE, INVENTIVE, MIND. AND, we SORT ToOK_ ae SER Le SLE ON” ||| Glau creamer Receive CHERRUINIAE BERSNSU REESE” Sgt ical ‘I ‘sed m HIS FACE — HER ONLY, WISH |S THAT EVERY. GIRL HAD HIASELE AND THOSE WHO MAD CONFIDENCE IN MIM = Roe U.S Fa ON; Coit 7 " Va GEE, UNCLE WALT! i THEY'RE 4 NOU GOT A SWELL New} ( NOPE, IT'S SURE YOULL B& exeezx, H Nelo SHORTER , | LAWNMOWER, HAVEN'T BRAND NEW CAREFUL OF IT — GIMME A WWE Cot te NOW. } You? LET ME RON pyle cM AND NOT LEAVE CHANCE ae 1O BE PRETTY ANN UTTLE peg BE VERY PARTICULAR GRASS sTRIPSt PTICULAR ABOUT (IT. b s | i y a ‘ 1 I HAVE To 6ET UP THERE UsanuetesaneG Bying wae Gee! 1 MADE ITs: Jo THE ENGINE AS auicie E LiMiT, MR.CULLER OPENS FRECKLES STUNNED, IE MON EVER FINDS AS I CAN, WITHOUT SLIPPIN THE THROTTLE WIDER AND AND His | 20" HE OUT THAT 1 DID THis, OFF... AN' GET THAT COFFEE f WIDER .16NORANT oF THE § (enlorichuaue FRIENDS | 90° OFF OF SHELL NEVER GET BEFORE FLoYO'S DAD j FACT THAT a ire 1S IN NEC esos “ME BRIDGE DONE SPANKIN’ ORINKS IT. BALANCE On THE TLE ,RiGuT Tu To Tue e Go" . eRe MON! TRAIN, di NEXT ONY o ees 3 LUNCH Box J! FREcKLES x » REGAINS HIS SENSES AND NOw REALIZES THE DANGER f 5 FACING LIM, Bi AS THE TRAIN - Picks UP By Blosser} coceo . WELL , KID, wow! So HAWK TNE STALLED ALONG for \ 4 GOT USTEN, MORRIS. . MY CLIENT, “ TWAT'S wat 1 Sap MOMN PuT on Your unt | FINALLY DID IT. TWO DAYS, TELLING YOUNG | THE BOND WHEN & SY WE'LL ‘YOUNG GUNN, TWAT BOeY , BLOTZ, no POP AND BEAT ITE GUNN HE MIGHT HONE To / BU FIXED Go FIFTY. SPLIT TWS TWO 1S FREE? £ Ad WIM ARRESTED, DASHED] 4 ? FREE PAY O BONUS FOR BAIL. OKEH FIETY ON WAYS, 1 MEAN IN HERE ERRLY Tus MORNING, * So ENERY THING 1S ALL THIS FIFTY. FIETY. HAVE T IN WS BATHROBE, AND SET To CHISEL A ENER DOUBLE-CROSSED WITHDREW THE CHARGES — WUNDRED OR SO YOu ON ONE OF THESE SMD MOUNG GUNN WASNT THE THIEF Y P} WHA22A MATTER DION'T SHE REMEMBER 1a WHEN SHE MADE HER WILL? 1 THINK SHE DID u 2 (ZS Like T6 BoRROW ) WHAT? 1 THOUGHT You ANOTHER TEN SPoT, ) TOLD ME YOU'D BE SITTING PRETTY JUsT AS Soon As YOUR AUNTS , ESTATE WAS SETTLED! pat = : at Vy [|