The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, April 11, 1931, Page 16

: “Oh, you poor man—wait till I read what happened to you.” | NOW YOU TELL ONE A WILLING MARTYR PROTECTED ‘The golfer drove his ball from the tee, and to his consternation saw 10! sear away, and. almost hit an old lady who was sitting on the grass in the middle.of the fairway. “Don't you know it’s very danger- ous to sit there, madam?” he said. coming up to his ball. “Oh, that’s all right; I'm sitting on & newspaper.” she replied.—Answe:s. WITH OR WITHOUT It was during a grammar lesson. Said the teacher: “Always remem- ‘ber, boys, that the word ‘with’ is a very bad word to end a sentence with. T—ah—that is to say—ah—unicss you have nothing else to end it with.”— Tit-Bits. A PERSONAL MATTER “The great war started in 1919.” “You're wrong. The war started in 1914.” “Well, I guess I know the year 1 ‘was married.”—Pele Mele, Paris. SLAM! Hyde: Too bad about Blaine going blind. What will he do for a living now? Seek: Oh, he's in Chicago now, working on the police force.—Path- finder. One advantage in looking shabby today is that you will not be mistaken for a racketeer.—The Pathfincer. Mrs. Newedd—I wander why we can't save anything. Mr. Newedd—The neighbors are al- ways doing something we can't afford A specialist is a man who wants al! your teeth pulled before he tries an- other. guess. The working of the giraffe’s javs She: I'm trying to find a face powder that can’t be kissed off. He: Won't you put me in charge of your proving grounds?—Path- finder. JUST A SHOWER She: jand saves for a rainy day. He: Well, she puts a few dollars in the bank now and then—she isn’t counting on more than a sprinkle.— Answers. INSPECTION ‘ON THE HOOF’ “Why do you suppose that big can- nibal is looking us over so intently?” asked a shipwrecked sailor of his buddy, “Maybe he’s the food inspector for this island,” answered the cther.— Capper’s Weekly. : Whether family, wealth or achieve- ment is the thing that counts de- pends on which one you have. If your boy is an optimist who cant see anything wrong, be of good cheer. He'll make a bank examiner. Spaghetti must now pay a tax to enter France, but perhaps it will when its stomach is hungry probably ‘Suggested the idea of remote control. worm its way in. i Daily Cross-word Puzzle | EE ci ied ama a noble 34. Radiates 60. Old ‘soldiers 26. Mire ‘ oa. “36 Meta) 8. Provid ieee ace an r ‘4, English rece Command Gh Host matoar ae 4 Adhesive oown 49 Denoting the 1D: rt maiden name 3 Semidiameters Solution of Yesterday's Puzzle 8. Weakenes AM One Tar geet & Bills out eollod. 6. Yale ¢ pesert a 6 Disunites gp 42 Exyp 1 Wandering ta We the ean quest of 43. City in Bale gui 45. Doctrine 46. Understana I hear your wife is thrifty A LETTER FROM MEAVEN ENES — AY LAST — THE GUMPS—HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE AGAIN NEAVENEYES = MY DARLING © : 1. DON. CARE, HOW EXPENSIVE * DEAR BIMBO — = 'T WAS. SO KIND OF YF YOU REALIZED: WHAT ‘THAT: WHAT BIO * ) WANT THE. MOST BEAUT! UL. | You TO SEND THOSE FLOWERS = “SWEET. NOTE MEANS TO ME : You .wiah JEWEL THAT CAN BE ep SHEY WERE SIMPLY "BEAUTIFUL — |. ENAS TURNED MY WINTER INTO SPRING= To PAY. - , REGARDLESS OF lJ WAVE NO OTHER ENGAGEMENTS roe TOMORROW EVENING = DROP IN] AND | WILL THANK YOU IN PERSON ANOUR. SrRIEND = : HENRIETTA ZANDER? AND BILLED ME WITH A HOPE = ‘THAT TELLS ME THE NIGNT 18 PASSED. AND THAT WITH TOMORROW COMES. JOY. AND: HAPPINESS AGAIN — IN YOUR. NOTE YoU SAY — ALWAYS. YOUR FRIEND — BUT SAY THE WORD AND |! witt BE YOUR SLAVE FOREVER — FORA 1T'S-FOR' A LADY FRI! END, ere.1 Ger veTectne = STEELE WONDERS wars 5] HAPPENED ME. WELL, mera TLL BE AT THE DEPOT . INA MINUTE TRAIN TO SOME BIG CITY, LOOKIN’ For THE CRIPPLE THAT STOLE THAT RUBY. FROM - |. OLD MR. HECTOR — Boy! iri. BE ExciTiNe FRIENDS Too Late! DPAY.THAT'S MY BiG SURPRISE ress Son Welt, Ya BaTTeR\ (You'LA HAETA-WAIT ON TRADE — STOP: THIS Zooey, KITTY —sam Won'T BE IN! CUTTIN' UP OR. Theres acustomer. Now! Vee Fire Ye! : 7 CAN'T Come TS WoRK TooAYy, SALESMAN|GU22— ( Was SHAVING LAST M NIGHT ANO SLASHED MY FACE 1M. THREE OR FOUR DIFFERENT Places! g 00 ‘You WANTIT FoR, YouR.. POCKET. OR YOUR, HAIR 2 BUTT Fr Te OF Tt! YM NoT , ce NG TAR NS L CO ERE — wet, WATER! Me ar a in is, GCREEEE ~~ \T LOOKS COD | » . TRAVELED STEAMSHIP ONE “DARN BIT --- Coon Ill! ; WeWHAT WAS JAT 2 - LANES -- AWAY FROM ALL COMMUNICATION +~ WITH NO HOPE OF