The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, March 5, 1931, Page 9

- Said. “Now remember, you won't like this doctor so much, at first. He won't act as if he thinks you are in a very bad shape.” EVERYWHERE 1 GO- THEY ALL TELL ME THEY HAVEN'T A THING To EAT IN THE HOUSE — MY MEART 1S BROKEN = VM LEAVING HERE - NEVER ‘TO RETURN VFEEL $0 SORRY FOR ALL THE PEOPLE IN ‘THIS TOWN — NY GOOD MAN = WHY THE TEARS ? WHY ALL THIS SADNSSS ? TELL ME = WHAT HAS JAKEN ALL THE JOY OUT OF YOUR WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ALL THE PEOPLE IN-THIS TOWN ? AND WHY ALL THIS SOB, STUFF ? ALLEY— AS Bi’ 1 WAS SOUND ASLEEP WHEN | HEARD A NOISE ANO A LIGHT WAS FLAGHED IN NN FACE. HE SANS “DON'T MAKE A FUSS AND NOBODY WILL GET HURT: SHERE WERE TWO BYRGLARS. THEY CUT THE WIRES SO | HAD TO GO OVER TO THE NEIGHBORS TO CALL THE POLICE. AND OUT ' HERE (S WHERE THEY THREW MY PANTS AFTER THEY TOOK 22 DOLLARS. NOW YOU TELL ONE | FREEDOM AND WEEP “Yes, I want you to try and go to a night club tonight, John,” Mrs. Biddy “I want you to get some of your cronies and try and get good and drunk. I want you to try and get a couple of blondes and make whoopee with them. I want you to try and see how much money you can spend on them. I want you to try and see how late you can come home. That's all. I want to see you just try itl”—H. E. valle dfs aa Investigator, spare that judge; ‘When woes came fast and thick, He didn't disappear. Or say that he was sick, R. C. O'Brien. THOUGHTLESS REMARKS “How'd you like cad ae nice neapple sundaes, Mr. Capone?” MAO Thompson, Lord Foops 1s here to see you.” “lg Sharkey hadn’t made a mistake, Mr, Dempsey, do. you still think you would have won that: fight?” — “Let’s organize a banking business.” “No, Premier Mussolini, a thousand times no!” “Do you agree that we need a lar- ger navy, Mr. Brisbane?” “Mr. Wickersham, don’t you think the President should appoint another commission to study the liquor situa- tion?” “How about a little poker game, Clara?” “General Pershing, your story of the war is perfectly adorable.” “When do you predict the depres- sion ‘will end, Mr. Mellon?” “will you have grapefruit this morning, Mr. Vallee?”—H. H. D. in Judge. In being lenient with Gen. Butler the Navy Department probably took into consideration his latest service 49 his country. He crowded Clara Bow off the front page. i Daily Cross-word Puzzle Solutfon of Yesterday’s Puzzle jo[v Je lt] ACROSS L Rather than « Make headway agajnst BAG ol OC THEATER NOTE Primo Carnera has gone into vau- deville.’ We understand he’s using the dance routine he had in the ring. Our friend, Sam Wing Hing, still is celebrating Chinese New Year down at his laundry, wringing out the old and wringing in the new. And here's how it is. If you are careful and save your money during good times you will be able to make loans to your relatives when a depres- sion comes along. NOW AS To NY CHARGES... THE GILL FOR THE WHOLE THING 1S NE KEEP SOMETHING FROM You? \wHy SHoULO 1 00 THAT ? JUST STEP OvER, BY THAT WINDOW AND IT SHOOTS FIRST Rudy Vallee isn’t the only one threatened by the grapefruit menace, We can’t sit down to breakfast with- out being attacked by one.. And our wife not only can hit a barn door, but she can keep right on Boing and hit the wall oppcsite, as wel The first alphabet soup—when the cannibals ate Prof. Percival Jones, AB. AM, BS., Eh.D,, D.D. PAPER PROFITS A news story says that an average of 39,148 persons handle a dollar bill every year. “That's as close as I ever came,” writes Kurvenal, “to getting my name in the _paper.”—-Russei Crouse in the N. Y. Evening Post. Paranoia are planning to make & film of “Green Pastures,” a play by Marc Connelly. The title will be changed to “Eve the Temptress,” and the leading part will be played by Gaya Lopez, Spanish beauty from Brockton, Mass.—Judge. + WHY ALL THE RiTzY- RAGST DON'T TELL ME WE HAVE COMPANY FOR DINNER! 1T'm HUNGRY AS T ALWANS INTEND TO KEEP MYSELF SO ATTRACTIVE THAT CHICK WILL NEVER WANT TO SEEK “THE COMPANY OF OTHER WOMEN. THAT'S THE AB CLEVER WOMAN HOLDS) GLADYS MAY BE A BAG-EVED , FUZZY-HAIRED, BLONDE, ,BUT SHE HAS SOMETHING IN ‘HER HEAD BESIDES SAW-DUST b! YM JUST GETTING READY TO GIVE CHICK A BIG HOW SWEET vou LOOK, ALL ORESSBD UP! WHERE'S THE WELCOME WHEN HE COMES. A WIFE SHOULD ALWAYS LOOK HER PRETTIEST] Herbie Harhock, Jr., five-year-old WHEN SHE son of Herbert Harbock, president of Wide World, will direct his first pic- ture next week when “Thou Scarlet Woman” goes into production.—Judge. WUSBAND And Represéntative Watson has re- covered from an operation. At last a Congressman with something definite |to talk about! 2s Purity Score at bage- balt 10. Segment of @ $. Crustacean Oo E|RIN| curve eee IKJEJRMMCIAINIr|eJEIN|s| i: Eset, By Cowan ty Rieck of baked [E;L|t MEL /E| . smcomt in . : te i African ante- A . 32. Boundary ony ere [THe Goss TOLD Me See To He SEA MY CHILD HERE (S VERY INTERESTED ) WHY, THaTS— a eee ah . biinate pai SALESMAN EA HORSE — SUPPOSE |. GOTTA EEED HIM HIS IN “CHAT EUNNY LOOKING G1SH— ER- AH- A— 1 O14 musical 2. Last SAM ie ae OATS AND THEN TURN HIM OUT TS Pasture! | WHAT KIND (s (IT? SELLY Fist! 20. 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