The Bismarck Tribune Newspaper, January 11, 1929, Page 12

By ALLENE SUMNER Washington—Onz of those silly but none the less true things is the alternate joy and alarm which Wash- ington officialdom reads into Her- bert Hoover's collar is as well known in Washington as the Calvin Cool- idge taciturnity. It’s the same kind of collar whi he has worn for nearly a quarter of a century. He discovered it in England. He’s ordered them by the gross and carton ever since. It’s a collar as is a collar—the sort that utterly obliterates the great open spaces twixt the chin and the collar top. Collar and chin meet. The col- lar acts somewhat in the manner of a check rein on a horse. Keeps the chin up. Because of the unwavering con- stancy of that collar, the conserva- tives rejoice. Here, say they, is a man who will never yield by one jot nor tittle those established tenets of the party. Custom, tradition, the thing that has always been done, will prevail in the White House for the next four years. Because of that collar, the pro- gressives and liberals go about with sober mein. It may really mean nothing; they may be over symboliz- ing, they admit. Still—one style collar for 25 years, and that such a collar as no other man or horse ever wore! Have you heard “Cheerio” on the radio? That little Pollyannaish geezer who, at the unholy hour of 8:30 a. m., reminds you how good it’ is to be alive and get up out of a nice warm bed and prance off toj work in this great, big bustling hap-| py world? Cheerio, you may be in-| terested in knowing, whether you! like him or whether you could slay him, is the creation of Herbert Hoov- er, next president of the United States. The story goes that when Mr. Hoover had his office in New York a business neighbor used to stick his TRIBUNE’S PAGE OF COMIC STRIPS AND FE head inside the door each morning ard yelp, “Cheerio, old thing.” Hoover himself, story has it, had the “cheerio” habit as a souvenir of his “dear old Lunnon” life. When he became secretary of commerce with certain official radio duties he suggested that “Cheerio” be put on the air. The real identity of Cheerio is not known. Some call him a pest; some a ray of sunshine; at any rate, he means well, and the president- elect thinks we should give this lit- tle boy a hand. * * Paulina Longworth, small daugh- ter of Speaker Nick, arrived from Cincinnati about two weeks after her famous parents had returned to Washington for the session. The original plan was to keep her away from Washington’s city smoke and grime and out in the country of fresh air and sunshine. It was the speaker who squashed the plans, story has it. He stood it two weeks, then said that there was plenty of fresh air in Washington for any youngster and demanded that his progeny be brought him straight- way. Paulina is almost a daily visi- tor in the speakers’s office, though since she began getting old enough to be spoiled he’s put on the lid about pictures of her with him. eee Mrs. Nicholas Longworth met_the 70-pound doll wife of the new Jap- anese minister at an official lunch- eon the other day. “I’ve seen you be- fore,” said the Japanese lady. “I was just a little girl when you came to our country in the Taft party years ago, and my husband was aide to your husband on several shore trips. I was thrilled to death to see you. You were the first American girl I had ever seen, and you were the president’s daughter. I cut all your pictures out of the papers and tacked them up in my room.” Today the wife of Nick Long- worth’s aide on the famous Taft trip outranks “Princess Alice,” the wife the speaker of the House, for the aide is Japan’s envoy extraordinary. oo. i tal | IN NEW YORK | °- ———— New York, Jan. 11—She could no longer sing, save in a far-away cracked voice. Nor could she lift her weary old legs from the stage. Her hair had been dyed and re-dyed and her face had been lifted beyond mathematical calculation. Yet there she was, a faded old hag, soubretting in a Broadway burlesque house. I know of no more pathetic picture in the long lane that is lit with bright lights than these queens of vester-year who keep nenees: ae dd r after year—who keep hang- ie when their hands have grown the '-~wle to cling. Tragic grand- Sthers they are—and there are more ef them than I‘care to think about —anchored to an uncertain past, clinging to a precarious present and toppling toward a feeble final curtain. How they get their jobs, I don't pretend to know. Variety, the the- atrical paper once suggested that it wasn’t the applause of the crowds which kept them going, but rather that “their husbands -haven’t the nerve to fire them.” Scores of these old-timers were married to the com- Pany managers. While they came out and wiggled for the boys in the front rows, they were off stage, Mrs. So-and-So, the boss's wife.” Most of them will be found today in “stock burlesque,” which Beth Brown described in her novel, “Ap- plause,” as “the last rung in the show business”—which, show folk will tell you, is just about what it is. ‘There are several rungs in the bur- lesque ladder, as show folk look at it —the regular wheel burlesque, the second companies, the “turkey” shows and then the stock where, now and then, you'll find just such an old- timer, as I saw—her voice gone and her tragic legs refusing to do her bidding—all but rooted to the stage. see And while speaking of the “old gals,” I was minded the other even- ing of a day when girls sat primly in their chairs at dances, their hands dog emporiums . . . “Hot dogs are responsible for my lovely complexion,” reads one blurb. Now T'll tell one! . And a certain man about town who was considered suffi- ciently important to have a sand- wich named after him was unable to get a check cashed in the said sand- wichery . . Which is irony or something . . . The nickel-in-the- slot Automat restaurants are now | “being done” by the silk hat and evening dress crowd. . « The fad started when some eminent British actors were seen going there. - The Londoners were merely trying out @ new means of amusement . . . But how should the herd know that? GILBERT SWAN. ————— r BARBS ‘ Chicago man, married 65 years, says he had a happy married life be- cause he never quarreled with his wife. Obviously, neither of them Plays bridge. see The best schoolboy orator in Illi- nois is going to be sent on a tour of South America next summer. And just after Mr. Hoover has gone to so much trouble to win South America’s good will, too! eee Rum runners who drifted 14 days on Lake Erie when their boat's ep- gine broke down said they didn't drink any of their own liquor, even though they nearly died of cold, be- cause they “didn't want to be Poisoned.” And that, oh guileless reader, is the “bonded stuff” that is fetching $14 a quart once it gets over here. eee Movie critic complains that life isn't anything like what the Holly- wood directors think it is. Still, things even up; life in a movie studio Probebly, isn't much like what a lot of editors think it is, either. edit Sar aeae alee | Farm Facts | o¢—_________..iii._.__4 folded carefully upon their laps. To have crossed their legs would have been equivalent to putting in a police riot call. Everything was “lady-like” and “refined”—far, far away from the world of vo-de-o-do-do. High An indirect aid to the eradication of the European corn borer would be the renewal of efforts to manufacture, on a large scale, paper and wall board » “A profitable meth- od for the disposal of cornstalks that would insure their complete disin- , |tegration,” says Dr. F. P. Veitch of the other night when a friend pointed out to old dancing » | Present the Department of Agriculture, “would obviously be one of the most effective weapons in fighting the corn borer. So, attention has been u industrial concentra- tion and utilization of cornstalks without, of course, neglecting the search for more satisfactory and practicable farm uses.” Assisting government and agricul- tural engineers in their work to stop the ravages of the corn borer are 12 of the leading plow manufactur- ers in the country. They have been experimenting with many different types of plows in an effort to find one most useful for destroying he corn borer by plowing under cornstalks and other refuse. At the i time they have lent more than 30 types of plows to the test- ing station at Toledo, Ohio. Secretary of Agriculture Jardine has just pppoin a new aid to him- self. Adi Morse, of Durham, N, intee, and his rank to the secretary ATURES ‘ BARNEY BLUE — wich see PA STRONG : CHIROPRACTOR » 2 WIDE PUBLICTY = ie mgnision® ‘COOLIN WHICH THIS 2 RMISY CARE HAS RECEIVED — BB suroes HAD BEEN “i SELECTED WHEN COURT ADJOURNED | SERDAY — ; bint ppc EMMERSON : : RK _ 4 mE PERE I$ ONLY VETERINARY sane te ONE CHAIR VACANT IN THE JURY BOX — UusT Scan THE CES OF HAVEN. JURORS SSRM YOUR OWN OPINION AS YO TOM CARR'S FATE — * GSE- WERE IT 1S A NEW YEAR ane A ue page WHATCHA DOIN’ ALREADY= I WONDER IF TLL YEAR = a MERE ALL By YouR- 0 THINK. SAY MANE AS AAUCH FON AS 2 HAD ONCLE HARRY CERTAINLY SELF, FRECKLES ? ) ) LAST YEAR- I'M GOING TO WAS GOOD TO MET sesssenees SAN! TIM Gar do. | SIT WERE ALL BY MYSELF : AND JUST THINK OF THE FUN Z HAD LAST is YEAR! Coe x SHALL T WRITE DO YOU JUSTICE. YOU'RE BETTER LOOKING — ESPECIALLY YOUR | win Tu MRS. HONORS 1S TOSSIN'@ \) K.0.GU2z! BRIOGE PaRTY THis AET, / UP-AND AT SAM ~ FILL HER ORDER ( INA HURRY = - WELL, EVERY THINGS TAKEN CARE OF OUT “M’ STUFFED OLIVES - GUESS CU HAeTa Dash OUT AN’ Ger some — iA 2? OY ees ON eu | | ae RA\ DE CAN ,BABE- HOW : : "BOUT POUNDIN'. TH’ OAK S aaeeoas Se NOURE . f°