The Washington Bee Newspaper, July 26, 1902, Page 2

oo TOWSER HATES MEN. They Say. Some people are fools. Good friends are hard to find. The politician South, has lost his leadership. There are some great men in the world. Senator Hannais the winning man. There will be a shaking up 12 the dry bones. The democratic party is prepar- ng for the fight. Col. Bryan will give them trou- ble. President Roosevelt has a good opinion of the Wizzard. Some men like others because they can be used. The world is full of sin. The southern politicians wll have to take a back seat. When you think you are doing the best you are doing nothing Your pretended friends will stab you in the back. Is there to be no unity among eelored attorneys Don’t pass your friends and pre- tend that you don’t see them. You may need them some day when yon are in trouble The man who knows a friend will keep him. Don’t be carried away by new fares. The trnest friend istheone when you need him. Speak the truth always and then you will have no cause to fear. The man who comes to you with a tale is a deceiver. The truth is easy to tell when| you are honest. Speak well of vour friends. This is aworld in which good men should act. Dr. J H M. Waring, and Dr. Bruce Evans would wake good guperintendents of the schools. The Board of Education could do something for the peonle. Who will be the next presidential nominee. Prof. Raoker T. Washington ought to giye the country a rest. Let as live in peace. Who leads the negro? Washington the Wizzard of the Soutb. Has the negro a leader. Why certainly. Is the race in need of a leader? Ifvon are right don’t fail to act. Friendship is a jewel and you should never lose it. Think of those who are your friends. The colored commission is dead. The bill is a dead letter. "There are lote of puddle dogs in this city, Tf you have never seen a fice dog liston when he barks at THE Ber. Only small dogs bark at THE Ber. They are barmless. They muat bark at big things to let other dogs know that they are alive. Bia ee ee Keen Observation, “Do you know anything about the People who have moved next door?” she inquired. “Not much,” he answered that their honeymoon is no “How did you find that o “By observing. It was raining when he came home this evening, but she did Bot make him stop at the front door to wipe his feet."—Washington Star. What He W Need. i “My friend,” exclaimed the eloquent minister, “were the average man te turn and lock himself squarely in the eyes and ask himself what he really needed most, what would be the first Teply suggested to his mind?” “A rubber neck!” shouted the preco- cious urchin in the rear of the room. —Tit-Bits. Considers Himself Official Watchdog of 300 Girls. No Man Cam Ascend Front Steps of ‘= Home at Chie cago Without His Most Em- pkatic Protest. There is at least one dog in Chicago that may be szid to thoroughly under- stand his business. This is Towser, the pride and joy of the inmates of the Young Woman's Christivn association home, at 288 Michigan avenue. A “tramp dog,” originally, of doubt- ful family and still more doubtful antecedents, Towser turned up at the doors of the home and not only insist- ed upon hospitality; but actually de- manded adoption. He was gaunt, hun- gry, wretched, miserable, with ragged coat, unhappy expression, and every sign of dejection and misery. Finding his new quarters pleasant, he abso- lutely refused to leave them. So the home authorities, finding it practical- ly impossible to get rid of him, eapitu- lated, and Towser was informally adopted. Now, fat and in the pink of condition, Towser proves daily that he not only knows a grateful spirit, but that he has also a fine sense of loyalty, courage and discrimination. More than 300 marriageable young women, most of them pretty and at- tractive, reside at the association home. Masculine visitors, while heart- ily welcomed at proper times and with- in due restrictions, are allowed only in the hall, parlors and reception-room of the big hostelry, and upon the front steps. Towser was not long in becom- ing acquainted with the rules and regulations in regard to these matters, and he carries his care and supervision of the 300 fair damsels, to whom he has constituted himself official watch- dog in all literalness, to lengths of which even the most conventional and careful of chaperons would scarcely dream. No man so much as ascends the front steps without an emphatic pro- (His ne Is T an ung Womer test from Towser, and this notwith- standing the fact that he is the pet and pride of almost every one of the | girls whom he would thus se- admiration, The plumber, the electric light man, F § pretty quester from masculine and workmen of similar ilk must be smuggled into the- premises the back way if they would penetrate beyond the lower front hallway of the big building, and it would be a bold caller, indeed, who would dare defy Towser’s excited challenge, small and insigniti- cant as the devoted dog appe Most of his 3200 fair charges Towser knows personally, and by them he is held in affectionate regard, despite his extreme attitude in regard to beaux or gallants, and few, if any, of them would admit him to be a dog of ordinary abilities or qual ations. ‘Toward children of the kindergarten, including Miss Chandler, a kinder gacten teacher who resides at the most of sociation home, Towser shows’ strong affections, although the pretty girls of the home proper come first in his regard. That Towser’s peculiar censorship is entirely self-taught and self-consti- tuted, the residents and authorities of the association home are unanimous- ly agreed. No slightest shade or de- gree of suggestion or training taught the odd fellow to keep men at a dis- tance from the young lady inmates of his chosen home. But the dog evident- ly realizes that with pretty girls to look after it behooves him to be ex- traordinarily particular and watchful. To this duty, as he sees it, Towser de- votes himself with an admirable faithfulness, devotion, and singleness of heart. Towser, says the Chieago Tribune, is also remarkable because of his re- ligious and social inclinations. He attends the services in the Home chapel every and almost Sunday, } Never an entertainment takes place within the home precincts but Towser insists upon taking at least a silent part in the exercises of the occasion. When, as sometimes occurs, he is ejected from the platform, his grief is extreme and unremitting in its expres- sion, but if allowed to remain his be- h or, according to many of his feminine charges, is dignified and ex- emplary almost beyond belief. Biograph Whisky in Kansas, The corn juice sold in Abilene, Kan., has a pecu is called because after the “biograph third dr moving Gardening Is Ht n turns 112,090 sp acre O Work, fuls of rround, and 1 has moved durfng his work weighs $50 tons. ow sees a variety of SHE WASHINGTON SEE. YOUR CREDIT scription. CGETsTH | When you are about | to not be deceived by | and be led to think you | inest finished and ‘Most Popular \for a mere song. See +o it that {you buy from reliable maaue tacturers that have gained a tation by honestand square g _you will then get a | Sewing Machine that is noted |the world over for its dura- | bility. 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Satisfaction give- money refunded when the truss 1s ,etur: d i order Address: eon sie: L. Cc. Bailey, Room 15, 609 F 8t,N W. or 2921MSt., N. W., Was. D.C. CENTER MARKET, Miller & Krogmann, —— DEALERS IN —_ Hams, Bacon, Lar, Beef and Beef Tongues, “Dove Brand” Hams a Specalty 451, 452 and 453 Center Market. 401 302 Northern Liberty Market. WILBUR F. WASH *500 CENTRE MARKET, Bacon, Lard, DRIED AND CHIPPED BEEF, COOKED HAMS, TONGUES BRANCEES: 169 Centre Market, 94495 OSt. Market, ~ e Residence, 122 M Stux.w THE WIDOW'S GOOSE. It Made Things Lively in a Penm sylvania Village. Sitter Committing Varieus Offenses, the Bird Imvaded the School- house and Put Teacher asé Popils to Rapid Flight. ‘The Susquebanna (Pa.) correspond- ent of the Chicago Inter Ocean is au- a thority for the statement that there's lots of trouble in the little village of OUSE errm an Brookdale, and that it’s all on account of the disorderly conduct of a wild goose owned by the Widow Simpson. The widow bought the fowl from # hunter when it was a yearling, and bas since been trying to make a pet of it, with very disastrous results. There's one thing that the people of Brook- dale pride themselves on, and that is the well-kept lawns in front of their homes. Widow Simpson's goose has @ taste for tender grass, and, after de- atroying the pretty piet st her cot- tage, made predatory saids on the neighbors’ lots. This started the trouble, and the Widow Simpson, from being one of the best-liked women fp the community, became the most hated. \ The goose seemed to realize that it was heartily hated by its owner's neighbors, and that a demand had been made for its death, with which the widow refused to comply. The fowl then began a persistent series of attacks upon the people who wanted it put out of the way. It bit and se- riously injured a four-year-old girl, upset a 40-gallon can of milk, tore down the family washings and dragged the clean clothes In the mud, — DIVORCE IN Missopp, ~! Be Fiddiea @ She Dance edge Was in Symparh the Musician, About 40 Bohemians of }, came up from Lingo mini Macon, Mo., as witness. wherein one of their ny &@ separation from anothe, Striver, a man of 26, want from his wife Maggie, a y. woman of 20, because, he , flirted with other men, cook for him and called hj When the case was , hemia was in the court- in its best Sunday ck enjoy this most al event of the season and tg sensat REFUSED TO COOK ! in it. The defendant and made raids cn poultry yards, kill- ing off the young chickens by the score. It became such a terror that the people of Brockdale organized themselves into a vigilance commft- tee and started out to kill it. Volley after volley was fired at the goose, but it seemed to bear a charmed life and escaped unhurt, flying out of range of the buckshot fired at it, and screeching defiance to the men and boys who sought to kill it. One result of the vigilance commit- tee’s raid was the killing of a calf by UPSET A CAN OF MILK one of the men who shct at the guose. The owner of the calf presented a oill for $17, which the unlucky goose hunter had to pay. About a quarter of a mile from the Widow Simpson’s home is the village school, presided over by a young wom- an teacher, who has some 30 little boys and girls under her charge One Monday morning the goose flew fn at the front door of the school- house and began to make things live- ly. Knowing the evil nature of the fowl, the teacher and her pupils were badly frightened at its appearance. It began operations by grabbing a book out of a child’s hands and tearing it to pieces. The teacher, armed with a broom, and some of the bolder of the pupils, with rulers, made a com- bined attack on the intruder, but it seared them off and inflicted a number ‘f severe injuries on them, including a ‘ad cut on the teacher’s face, made with a stroke of its powerful wings. finally, seeing they were no match for the belligerent goose, teacher and vupils fled, leaving it in possession of the room. Help was summoned, but when it arrived the goose, with a loud squawk, flew out of the doorway and winged its way to the woods, since which it as not been seen. The interior of the schoolhouse presented a scene of wiid wreckage. The floor was strewn with torn books, desks were upset, ink bot- tles spilled, and a number of panes of glass broken. It cost nearly $20 to repair the damage, and the school “rustees talk of suing the Widow Simpson for the amount if the goose eomes back Oregon Saimon in Germany, Salmon frozen in Oregon and shipped to the cities of Germany can be bought there for 35 cents a pound, while German salmon «ost $1.25 a pound. Saves Sleep for His Firm, There is a man in New York city who holds dowm a hilarious job, He serves a big firm in the capacity of buying entertainer. The buyers whom he entertains suppose him to be a jenior partner in the firm, but he isn’t. He is simply a buffer between | the firm and the buyer. He saves sleep for the firm, and big heads and that morning feeling. He bears the : brunt of the buyers’ stored-up skit- tishness. The average buyer has an anticipatory glitter in his eyes from the minute that he sets foot in town. There is much that he desires to see. This buyer entertainer shows it to him. | Sometimes he meets a buyer who near- : | Did not light.” dressed in black with her lawyer, Kot was admitted the est, hard-working young not drink any more bee usual in the social! circle tion. Leading up to his main cat tion, the plaintiff's counse! as “What oceurred the r wedding, Frank?” “She danced with Charley Hoy times.” “Was the dance at you “No, sir; at her moth “Why did you object t with young Howe?” “I didn’t think she ought t so often with one n ud Then the struck in: “Frank, did you ever at “Yes, sir “if defends on the ago while his and takingt evidence fied in g ance. HE FORGOT ONE THI Mr. Jenkins Thought He Had quished Mrs. J. But Was Mateh for That Good Lady When Mr. Jer room at half-past“ one determination of gx with another deter would not be interview kins. the door and dey So as soon “WHY DON’T YOU TAS HAT the dressiug-table speech: “I locked the ehain on. I pu tl bit. The d kitten out. Th to bed with her. I} the knob of the bac the fastenings over ce | windows. I put the the closet. 1 It is not g me any message for y letters as » 1 Your mother Nobody died the ment. I was ¥ making out | clothes over « new-laid egg for that is all, and I » Mr. Jen hedged against amphant smile was he took hold of ed a line for the earthquaked by query from Mrs you take off your hat?” 4. andy ¥ with Vane No x ; = @