The Washington Bee Newspaper, April 15, 1893, Page 4

i FIN DE SIECLE COURTSHIP. Free from the Social Conventionalities of Bygone Days. They had thoroughly agreed thai they were fortunate living in an age free from the ridiculous social conven- tionalities of the days agone, with their irksome restraint upon the healthy promptings of natural instincts. Sud- denly he thrust his chair away from the glowing grate and changed the sub- ject with something of impatience in his manner, says the Detroit Tribune. «Will you,” he casually inquired, lighting a cigarette as he spoke, ‘be mine ?” The elegant lady became serious in an instant. A smile had been playing about her finely chiselled lips, but i: fied the moment the significance of his words dawned upon her. “« Wait,” she replied in full, melodious tones. With a deft movement of her taper fingers she produced from the folds of her gown a dainty notebook. «TI must consult my diary,” Rapidly she turned the leaves, pausing now and then to scrutinize » page, “I fear—” Her face was sober without doubt. > « That I cannot.” There was a tinge of regret in the mellifiuous voice. «Yes, lam sure. I must decline.” The suitor rested his russet shoe on thes brass cuspidor and blew smoke through his nose. “Curse it,” he observeé She sighed. “No,” she proceeded, thoughtfully, “TI can not be yours. At least not this eve. I find upon consulting my diary that yesterday morning I became en- gaged to marry another. The option runs for forty-eight hours and it won’t expire until to-morrow.” He arose from his seat and fingered his hat nervously. “Iso sorry,” she faltered. He bowed. “Can't you wait aday ?” she inquired, with just a suggestion of eagerness. He shook his head. “I expect ere then,” he sadly replied. “to have asked the hands of no less than four ladies in succession, not counting yourself. It is not to be ex- pected that all will refuse me,” “True.” He could not help but notice that a shade of vexation crept across her countenance. “Perhaps,” he remarked with the final whiff from his cigarette, “I may get around to you again some time next summer.” She retained perfect composure, but it was easy to see that she was pleased. The Philosophy of Jags. Speaking of «jags,” did you ever hear how different whiskeys will affect your dreams? One who is not a toper tells the following in the Cincinnati En- quirer. A $10 brand, which is the best in the market, makes you dream of winning at faro, striking it rich at policy, or holding a hand at poker which one would be a fool not to stand pat on and bet ali he had. An $8 brand creates the idea that you made a fortune easily and lost it, and you are regretting it; had a good time, powever, when you did have money. A $6 one does not make you dream of wealth or of winning at cards, but ! gives the impression that a good posi- tion is waiting for your acceptance; but your friends are loath to part with you, and you stay to havea good time. A $4 variety gives a whirling head- ache, and you are riding a merry-go. round. A man insults you, but you can't get off to hit him. Faster and faster you ride and grow so dizzy that you finally fall off helpless, yelling “Police!” The policeman comes and arrests you. You are heavily fined in court. You are obliged to sit for hours among ugly looking vags. No one comes to help you at all and you are mad. A $2 make-up throws you into spasms as soon as the eyelids close. You mur- der a man and try to escape. You can’t run at all. A policeman and a mob settle on you and you are almost beaten to death without being able tc ery for help. They finally disappear, and when you tryto get up a large, black cat, with great yellow eyes, ap- pears and fastens its fangs in your leg. With a wrench away goes the calf of your leg in the cat’s mouth. The cat runs off with its head and tail high in the air. A boa constrictor reaches down from the limb of atree and coils around you; a wild horse runs at you with open mouth and flaming eyes, and beaten, bitten, wrenched and squeezed almost to death, you awaken with a terrified yell only to find that it was 8 $2 whiskey. Don’t buy anything cheaper than $2 or you will lose your reason. How Many Words Do You Use? It is astonishing how few words ae really needed to transact the busines of life, and how often these ure culled into requisition. Some expert in such matters computes that with 1,000 words an ordinary man can transact all the business of life, and of these he com- monly uses only 400 or 500, reserving the remainder for extraordinary occa sions, when some idea out of the usual line of his thinking occurs to him, compelling an uncommon strain of his verbal resources. In just such emer- gencies the blessings of slang are mani- fest,one slang or cant word being made todo the duty for a dozen. When he wishes to convey the idea that | the weather is extremely cold he says itis awfully cold; afew months later ' he discovers that it is awfully hot; at dinner his pie is awfully nice; the young lady on whom he called lust evening was awfully pretty; and so ee he goes, making one word answer the nt sored of @ whole vocabulary.—S, ion Glebs, : A PASTELIN PROSE. How Twilight Silence Sounds When it Breaks. It was evening, says the Detroit Fres Press. Softly came the summer zepyhyr from the shadows creeping in the valleys, cooling as the breath from scented fans, yet with no touch of chill. The lowing herds, now silent on the lea, lay resting in the fragrant fields of gently waving grass, where daisies nodded kisses to the red-lipped clover. The dusky air, low lying on the shaded hills, rose purpling to the sky above their tops, and here and there, far off in the stilly distance, twinkled one or two lone stars, the first to come, and they stood there blushing near the dark blue curtains draped above the thresh- old of the night, uncertain yet if they should enter now or wait until the gay and glittering throng in which they moved had come to bear them company. The song of birds was stilled in every bush and tree, and every warbling throat was tucked away beneath a tired wing. The hum of insects resonant all day, had hushed itself amid the quiet leaves and every fluttering tinsel wing was resting till the morn. The lazy stream had seemed to stop, and now no longer babbled to the flowers which grew upon its pretty banks. Above, below, beyond, the soft delicious still- ness of the bedtime of day pervaded the air and touched the earth and fioated to the sky. They sat there in the gloaming, he and she, and watched the silent shadows creep slowly out from those dim hiding spots in which no man can find them in the day. Suddenly they heard a heavy crash, as if some one had struck a heavy timber with an axe and shivered it. «What's that man breaking ?” he inquired, with a start. « The stillness of the twilight hour,” she murmured softly, and the man passed them on his way to the wood. shed with a stick of kindling on his shoulder. An Inauspicious Start. The man, whoever he was, who coined the epithet “pink of propriety” must have known our family physician, Dr. Curtiss. Fastidious and dainty iz externals, he is no less so in all that pertains to the real man, More fallible people look on him as a stranger to human mistakes and foibles, and some who respect his skill fear to expose to him their weaknesses of body and‘soul. Imagine, then, the relish with which a mischance of his is enjoyed. The other morning, after a particu- larly hard night, Dr. Curtiss was roused very early by repeated calls from his telephone, Everybody knows the innate maliciousness of telephones, especially at seasons when “Central” is sleepy or has important business or hand. This time the instrument ex- hibited total depravity, and it was only after a prolonged series of vain efforts that the doctor succeeded in communi- cating with his patients. When, there. fore, he came down to breakfast his overtaxed nerves were still tingling but he controlled himself, and sitting down in his place, bowed his head tc ask the customary blessing. An ex- clamation of horror from his wife cut short the petition. He had becun the solemn and devout formula witb “Hello!”—Harpei's. Wonderfal Canal System of France. An official document shows that the Jength of navigable water-ways in France is some 8,000 miles, of which 650 are returned as tidal, 2,100 miles navigable without works, 2,250 miles eanalized rivers, and 3,000 miles of ca. nals, and of this vast network of inte. rior navigation the government has all but 7 per cent in charge, the systeni naving been brought to its present con. dition at a cost of $300,000,000 for construction and purchase and $25,- 900,000 for concessions, with an annual cost, also, of $325 per mile, average, for maintenance. The number of yes- sels employed on the water-ways is about 16,000, and of these 26 per cent have a capacity of 300 tons or more, while more than half have a capacity exceeding 100 tons; the number of for- eign boats also using the French canals yearly is said to exceed 2,000. The motive power is now almosi entirely furnished by draught animals, though a few steam tugs are used on the Seine, the Oise and some other rivers, and steam cargo boats are occasionally met. Cable towing and tow locomotives are to a limited extent resorted to. An Excursion Postponed. “When I was South last winter,” said a woman a day or two ago, “I took a glass of eggnog every day, which 1 fixed myself at the luncheon table. One day my colored waiter, who had watched the operation curiously, ask- ed me what it was, I told him, and offered him some. ‘No, thank you, Missis,’ he said, <I allers takes my eggs fried and my whiskey barefoot.’ “Another of my darky friends down there was constantly bemoaning his sad fate that he was almost gone with rheu- matism. Every morning he would limp into my room, groaning and grunt- ing, and tell me he wasjust about to cross the dark ‘ribber’ to the shining shore where his old Sukey awaited him. One day when his condition seemed most desperate my husband told him to go in the next room where he would find some ‘medicine’ in a certain bottle, which, he thought, would limber him up a little. He obeyed with prompt- ness, and came back after a little, his Tameness gone, and with the announce- ment that he never felt better in his life. A “When Mr, R. referred to Sukey and the shining shore, the old fellow turn- ed toward him, and half whispered, in a confidential way, ‘I tell you what, Massa R., dat scursion’s postponed.” We are plants, not of earth, but of heaven, and from the same source whence the first soul arose, a divine na- | GIVE EVERY TOOTH A CHANCE. Sir Andrew Says that Every Morsel of Food Should Receive 32 Bites. Sir Andrew Clark, President sot ee Royal College of Physicians and Sur- goons, is said to have told Mr. Glad- stone that he had one mouth, but thir- ty-two teeth, and that each mouthful of food should receive thirty-two bites in order to give every tooth a chance. A correspondent of The Youth's Com- panion writes that he was recently cog- nizant of an excellent proof of the truth of this statement. 5 A szllow-faced, unhappy - looking man camo to Dr. B——’s office one day when the writer chanced to be present. He wanted some medicine for dyspepsia. Among other questions the doctor asked: “How long a time do you usually spend at dinner?” “I dunno exactly,” replied the pa- tient; “ten or fifteen minutes, I guess. “Does your food taste good?” Dr. B— asked. “That it does,” was the reply, “but half an hour after I’ve eaten I’m near dying with distress.” “Do you drink much with your food —tea, coffee or water?” “A pretty considerable amount,” an- swered the man. “Your's is a grave case,” said the doc- tor, “but Ican help you if you'll fol- low my directions.” Dr. B—— gave the man a dark-col- ored mixture in a bottle and said: “Now, it is of the utmost importance that this medicine be taken properly. Put a teaspoonful in your cup of tea or coffee at each meal; stir it in thoroughly and with each mouthful of food take a very small sip and then chew, chew, chew, in order to mix it completely with the food. Do this and report to me ins week.” ‘Two weeks later I saw this dyspeptio again, but I scarcely recognized him, he was so much improved in looks. «That medicine of yours works like a charm,” he said to the doctor. “I’ve about forgotten that I have a stom ach.” «That’s good,” responded Dr. B——. «Continue taking itin the same way for three months and you’ll be a well man.” Then, as the man went out, Dr. B—— said to me: “The whole story in that man’s cure is in the word mastication. It is mere- iy what I said to him—chew,’ chew, chew. But he wouldn’t have believed it without the medicine, which was the simplest. The man was bolting his food and I stopped it. I’ve cured hun- dreds of dyspeptics in a similar way. Indeed most dyspeptics might cure themselves if they would give every tooth a chance—thirty-two bites toa mouthful, with two for every tootk missing.” On a Torpedo Boat. There are boats and boats; and of all uncomfortable boats to travel in u torpedo would seem to be the worst, judging from the description of un“Of- ficer on Board.” Do you think au ocean steamer rolls? Then think of living in a torpedo, where the life is do. scribed thus: She rolls so dreadfully it is impossi- ble to be still asecond. It would have been impossible to stay in our berths— which I may mention also formed our seats—had not big boards been rigged up to hold us in; and, by din. of pack- ing myself in with pillows or nything else that came handy, I m+anged to sleep pretty comfortably. I was bedfellow with the filter one night, which carried away, and came bouncing down on mo, maxing me think for a moment it was the funnel, at least. The difficulty was what to do with it, for everything in the .ittle cabin was on the move. So Icoveluded it had better stay where ji was; and, clasping it in my arms, I slept comfort- ably enough till I was rouwa out for my watch on deck. ‘Washing, too, was a tremendous bus- iness; for, though we hada small bath stored on deck under the chart table-- the hatchways were much too narrow to admit of its coming below—and a wash-hand basin rigged ia the cabin. the boat rolled so that the water was flung out as soon as it was ; oured in. Consequently, I am afraid we were grimy with coal dust an2 crusted with salt most of the time. Our food, too, was a difficulty. Ase rule, we lived on ham, sardines and tinned soups; for most of the time the weather was so rough it was as much as we could do to get a little water boiled. We had atable about eighteen inches wide in the cabin; but it was no good having it laid, for nothing would stay on it. The usual plan was for one man to hold the sardine tin wnile the other picked out the sardines by their tails and transferred them to his mouth. Ham always required two men, one tc hold it and the other to cat it; but the soups were capital. Ido not know what we would have done without those tinned soups; they were our stand-by. We heated the tins, then carefully opened a corner, each man held his plate and had a little poured in, which he drank before he got any moro. Couldn’t Stond It. The preacher from town was filling an appointment in a mountain chucch in Kentucky, and, being an old-fash- ioned orthodox minister, he was mak- ing his sermon very warm. In faci, it was more than warm, it was hot. He | set forth vividly all the terrors of the | hereafter of the wicked. describing minutely the boiling brimstone, the | blazing torrents of pitch and turpen- | tine, the dreadful caldron of eternal , burning, and picturing the sinners floating about, and writhing and squirming in the awful lake below. The congregation was vividly affected, and the greatest stillness prevailed, every member listening intently, until one tall young fellow evidently with the preacher's picture clearly before nis mind, jumped up, and in a protesting voice exclaimed, earnestly, “By gum, ture directs our whole bodily frame,— ‘ mister, them people can’t stand i,” =| A CURIOUS TWIN CLOCK. IT WAS KNOWN AS “THE LITTLE BOY IN THE WALL.” A Mechanical Genius Constructs a Peculiar Timepiece in His Residence—An Appa- rition Appears, After Which Half the Clock Refused to Work. There is a house on Main street, Ger- mantown, says the Philadelphia Press, which contains a curious twin clock. It is a large double house with a great brass knocker on the door, and project- ing eaves above the second story as well as atthe gables. In the partition between two of the rooms on the first floor a clock with two faces was bui.t in both chambers. The owner was a very ingenious man, and he not only wanted to set the time for the fami'y sitting-room, but to have as good a clock in his bedroom. The clock was carefully constructed in the wainscost- ing, and was surrounded by moldings carved and beaded in the manner so. fashionable in the early part of this century. The dial was about a foot be- low the cornice, and was much larger than the ordinary clock dials, but still was in proportion to the rooms, which were large, square apartments, wel! lighted, and with ceilings of medium height. Its case was of mahogany, and it was a fine piece of work. “Old Mr. Farley,” said the clock- maker, who told the story, “was an amateur astronomer and mechanica} genius, and his twin clock not only showed the time on its dial, but a yel- low moon as big as asaucer showed the quarters, while a circle on the oth r side of the clock contained a panorama of the months and seasons, At the lower part of the dial the days and weeks were told off. It was an unusual clock for those days. Noone knew how to run it except Mr. Farley, and he wound it every night punctually. “Mr. Farley, however, becameill, and bis physician advised him to try a Gouthern trip. Travelling in those days was not what it is now, so when the old man started for the springs in Southern Virginia, it was several weeks before the return mail gave the family information of his arrival and condition. He went in August and died in Decem- ber. He had given minute instructions about winding the clock while he was absent, and it had been going very well. In his declining days the clock had be- come more of a hobby than ever, and its variations were ever on his mind. Ho called it the ‘little boy in the wall.’ “The night of December 5, Miss Far- ley, the old man’s niece, who was about foriy years of age, was sitting in the living room reading, as was her wont, a chapter of the Bible before retiring. The door leading into her uncle’s room was xjar, and while shesat there, intent on the doings of the Children of Israel #3 recorded in the book of Exodus, she was conscious of a blast of cold air over her shoulders. She did not re- member having left a window up in her uncle’s bedroom, which she used in his ebsence, but she hastily stepped inte the room to see what caused the draft, when to her surprise and terror she saw her uncle standing by the clock as had heen his habit for years. There he was in his long dressing-gown winding the clock. The whole scene was surrounded by a luminous glow, as if from a small candle. “As the stupefactior of the moment passed away Miss Farley rushed for- ward and gasped, ‘Oh, uncle, uncle, is it you? and with that the room re- sumed its old appearance; the appari- tion was gone. “Miss Farley’s screams rang through the house, and when the servants came in they found her in a faint. When she was resuscitated she related what had happened and insisted that her uncle must have returned. A search ofthe house and a visit to all the neigh- bors proved that Mr. Farley was any- where but in Germantown. Miss Far- ley did not sleep in the first floor bed- room that night. The next day, when the household, made brave by daylight and the force of numbers, examined the room, they discovered that while the hands on the face of the clock in the sitting-room marked time as correctly as ever, the hands in Mr. Farley’s were hanging limp. «They sent for my father,a clockmaker, immediately, but the strangest thing about it all was that he couldn’t dis- cover what the matter was. The works that moved both sides were so ingeni- ously blended, and so intricate was the gearing that ran the moon, the month and the days of the week, that it was impossible to get at the secret. All he could see was that one-half was going, while the other half was not, and he couldn’t start the hands in Mr. Farley’s bedroom. They stood still at half-past ten o’clock. “A week passed before the two ser- vants who had gone South with the old man returned with his body and told the story of his death. He died be- tween ten and eleven o’clock Decem- ber 5. His last thoughts were of his ‘boy in the wall,’ a phrase which some of the Virginians who were by his bed could not understand. The clock, so my father said, always kept good time, but the hands before which the appari- tion of the old gentleman had stood never went again. I believe the clock can still be seen in the wall, although I | hardly think it is running, asthe works were too complicated to keep going without expert attention. But facts | are facts, and, as Isaid before, clocks are queer things. They’re half human, and that’s all there is about it.” The longer I live the more faith I have in Providence, and the less faith in the interpretation of Providence,— Day. You can talk about the tariff, bub there is nothing that will cause a rise in dress goods so quickly asa mouse, remarks the Rochester Democrat. Britain owns half the ocean ships, ;j | hos: H. Clarke REAL REsTaTE AND LOAN ifty Cents Per y, $5 CASH" ~ANDAW 50c, Per Wee, Woe buy you & home ; Wasmamaron, D6} = Cin'y OF BOWIE, ny The -first opportunit olored people to seers an a Weekly payments ot af a + week or Two Dollars per monte W000 LOTS FOR sig L the city of Bowie, Stat laryland. Only 20 minutes com Washington. Double Po 2 trains stop daily. Fare t _ ‘om Washington, only Six og xy commutation ticket, Tigi ton of the Baltimore and bur uae and Pope Creek Rails telegraph and Express ofl the best depot on the Balt md Pot “ce ra lroad, St sburchesan. hools already bail the most healthful ; State of Maryiand. Titie to pr erty perfect. No Taxes te 606 F Street, N. W., mer ne sir sabeieee aR ERENT Subscribe to and advertise » -he Buz, THE INDUSTRIAL BUILI ING AND SAVING CO. Loans money to buy or buil ; homes. Shares $1 each, payabl , monthly. Dividends declared es ‘ery January. Secretary’s office: 609 F st..n.w. Open9a. m. & > p.m. Monthly meetings at Lin coln Memorial Church, cor. 11u and R sts, n. w., first Monday uight in every montb. Henry E. Baker, ‘Mote » and Recreteey tanec of lots will receive tig deeds, with certificate of tite “Free” th Advertise in the Bux. PAIGE OF LOTS ONLY sig, TERMS OF PURCHASE: fiyg dol lars cash and two dollars pgp barrages With no interes; casb, 10 per cent discount; ql} « 20 per cent discount. “< Money will be advance ~» | ties desiring to build, It a busband purchaser j Rooms with Board: In~ first cass house and in a popular purtt of the city, Cars pass the doo 922—11 stn: ed to pap before his purchase is compiey a deed in tee will be given to hiy widow, if the property nus been & Special Overco a The ahacs iain won cone nity never betore offered the Uol. ored people of the city ot Washs Ington to secure a Valuable lor gjeither as an investment or f fo home on monthly payments, po We have been cutting right and left| ®t the same time, entitled then into our OVERCOAT SALE evor| toa vote and a voice in the Gore since we have put them before the| ernment of the country. public. For the aeason, that the} Those who apply first, will hay Styles and Qualities of these Over-/ the first choice ot lots, coats cannot be purchased at the Already many have made thei manufacturing price for what we} homes in the “City of Bo ir are selling them at. Don’t miss} anq jotg hada y wie, this slaughtering sale, as there is Purchased on the abors 2 terms should double in value with only a small lot left. in the next six months, JULIUS COHEN'S [Fr ferieriiormation sah + CALVIN Cuasz, Agent, CHEAP CORNER, | 11091 Pipe Seventh and L Streets, n. w. or CAMPBELL CAKRINGIO Owner, 505 D Sr., n, Wy Washington, D, ¢ Established Fifty-five Years, RAVEN & BACON, |CAPITAL SAVINGS Basi N ae ACON, Gr WASHINGTON, D.¢. RAVEN PIANOS, 13 East 16th Street, New York City. ———_ Receives a 3 mou BUY FROM THE MANUFACTURER AND save | €8 deposits, loans mouey 50 PER CENT. Tausacts a general baukug bus "These Pianos are made from the best matertat, | 2€88- Location central snd com ardea | VDient. F street cars und herdie ory plano guaranteed for alx years, Tun in front of our door—9bst yourself and friends before paying for | CATS TUN a few rods cast of ult ieook Se the Bivins elsewhere. "| building, 7th street and Llths No. 1, Upright or Square, $230, worth $400 | Cars Only two block away. “ No.2, : 3 0 L. U. Bailey, 609 F St. n. w. 260, “ 600 * Tag. Ps as ae Dr. C. B. Parvia, OFFIcExs: President, Joo. R. Lynch Vice-Pres., Joseph W. Cole Cashier, Douglass 4. MeCary Treasurer, L.C. Bailey cretary, HE, Buker DIRECTORS. Jno. R. Lynch, L. C. Bailey’ Joseph W, Cole, W. McKinlay Jobhu A, Pierre, J. A. Lewis W.E. Matthews, = J. k. Wilder W.s. Montgomery ; J) J... & Bradtord, James Storun, W. 8. Lofton, J. A. Johnson, A. W. Taneil, H. E. Baker, nd shoul be: of every person contemplating buying PLANTS BULBS. tis s Soret what to buy, and where to get Po naming lowed Ricinalng » Gertifeats good for loceas word at Seeaa, JAMES VICK, SEEDSMAR, © Mont Stcickland, FINE SHOES. No. 939. 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