The evening world. Newspaper, December 30, 1922, Page 12

i pbews tt. Every Day a Laugh ‘York Bvening World), ‘Company. — Mappyp New Porker! year, _ _ Ie gootl old New York City, Prosperity has brought us cheer, Im good old New York City, We've mace our farms and “ranches pay, @er hoys are fat; sleek donkeys - bray, While plump: cows moo and horses weigh, fe gond old New York City. Qar hens have laid us many eggs, Im: good old New York City, The cider-mill has filled our kegs, In good old New York City, _ We've stored the harrow and the plow, + Te offer thanks ow heads we bow, 1 wonder just who's looney now, Ia good old New York City. — OBSERVATIONS. Maving been dropyed by Dr. Stra- eu’s church, Dr. Haywood probably ‘WU expicde soon. ’ A new bridge is to span the Hast Biver so that more Brooklyn folks @an come to Manhattan. “At our house,” writes N. Allen, “we have buckwheat cakes every merning Day by day I am getting batter and batter.” A reader of this newspaper wants te know if the tomato is a fruit or a ‘Vegetable. One of our actor friends ways it is a missile. “It’s nobody's business but my @wn whom I marry,” says Mrs. Mc- @ermick of Chicago. Tru: ough, ‘@e wan seldom bas anything to say Oh, Fine! I read @ book The other night, And roading it Brought me delight, It was my bank , Book and I saw & belonce of Ten bucks—hurrah! TELEPHONE LOVE. Has Gone Betore—Mary Dingle, girl, quits her job and, with a. F008 West looking for ot Jot of fun. Their train is wrecked and are walking t City trom ‘when incidents occu” Wen: wrevof Al Bmnith and family! Now ‘Ws proceed!) Tt was a moonlight night, and Mary and Abba Dabba, her maid, Were lost in the desert. As the “wo girls strolled along, a terri- Die noise was heard. It sounded Mke an angry city editor calling te its star. “Oh, Abba, what was that?” Mary thus asked her maid to explain the noise. “I don't know. We don't have Moises like that in China.” It-was Abba Dabba’'s reply. At that point'an automobile @ame along. It stopped. A man out. “Ladies,” he said, “I am selling Wiosher's patent dishwashing Machine. It will wash all the s, @tmner dishes in fifteen minutes. May I demonstrate it to you?” “Can you dance?’ asked our Lentil “Of course!” » “Then let's see you do the @ebres.” ‘The merry iaughter of Abba , Wabba rang out over the vast @andy waste. The man was cha- wae. “I am of royal blood,” he said. “Bam descended from Kings.” “You must of came a long Ways down,” said Mary. Ht was just the right reply. Mary was very proud to have maid it. ' “Hoot, mon!” said Abba Dabba, . fie little Chinese maid. And as the moon melted into a @oud, the notes of a robin, @uuckling in « tree, were heard. Tt all seemed #0 absurd. (To Be Continued.) THIS AND THAT. __ At the Nationa! Vaudeville Artists’ ‘Glub recently we saw a boy and girl noe on the stage. They were ama* pupils of a dancing teacher, weuld have been good Gance professionally if hado’t lacked just one thing. thing was a smile. They #0 seriously that we felt like !” Had they taken work ae fun they would have their lives, One rea- LO! THE POOR INDIAN! R. WHITTEMORE of Washburn College was struck by the met- Whittemore re - lates, "a big, fat, rather old Indian which fell in stately folds from his shoulders to the ground, his arms were folded like those of the officer of the day standing at parade rest during a formal rd mount, his approach was as dignified as that of & Roman senator. “I looked at him in recognition of stately bearing, and he spoke to me these full and measured words: ‘Sir,’ he said, ‘I am broke. Will you give me a dime?’ ""—Boston Tran- script. CAUSE FOR ABSENCE. HE President of the Woman's Advahcement Society was agi- tated. So was the Secretary. “Mrs, Nimbletung, who was to de- liver the address at to-day’s meeting, cannot be present," said tho former. “Why not?"’ “Her husband has been seriously tl! three or four days." “But a woman of her strength of principle won't neglect her work in the great cause to attend to the pal- try needs of an individual—and a male individual at that?’’ “Certainly not, but he writes her speeches."'—Houston Post. READING THE PALM. T was a church fair and one young woman of the congregation was gathering in the coin as a palmist. To a girl client she said, “I see by engaged to is named Gibson." hand cannot tell you the nams of"’—— “Who said anything about lines?" retorted the palm reader with cutting scorn, ‘You are wearing the en- gagement ring which I returned to Mr. Gibson three weeks ago.''—Bos- ton Transcript. ! PREFERRED THE CASH. OUNGSTERS that come in con- tact with the public become most worldly wise. Johnny shined shoes and knew the ways of the worl’ from intimate, and sometimes bitter, experience. One day a pros- perous looking old gentleman stepped up into the shine stand. He eyed Johnny with a friendly intei “Young man, you look I intelligent young fellow,"’ marked. Johnny looked up at him unim- ressed. bright, he re- Pp “Bay, mister,” he retorted, ‘I've had that Ine pulled on me before. What I want to know before we go any further is this a cash shine or when I get through will you pat me on the head and tell me I'll be Gov- ernor some day?''—Kansas City Star. WHY THE POOR ARE POOR. T NG “Did the clothes fit, and did you tind a use for the money?’ “Sure the clothes fitted foine, an the childer looked so nice in thim that I had all their pictures took wid the money ye gave me, an’ I'm goin’ to have me own took to wend to the ould folks in Ireland,""—Bverybody’s Magasine. SS son the Astaires are so successful as dancers is because they seem so happy while on the stage. The late Ben Teale wouldn't have a chorus girl in a musical show if she per- sisted in looking serious while danc- ing. However, it isn’t only dancing that the smile will help, It's a good thing to have with you in any line of endeavor. “Laugh and the ‘world laughs with SATURDAY, DECEMBER 30, 1922 QUAT ARE YOU UP To? You Look LWE YOU WERE CAST FOR A SLAPSTICK Comedy Fim! 1'4 Gonna FIX “THOSE DARN WILL You EVER GIVE (T A REST ? You'RE FOREVER PICKING ON THat CAR — T NEyerR SAW “He Le! 1S THAT GoP wet, WHEN 2 DONT CATCH TH’ NAME BEEN YET 2 \ CANT STAND AROUND \N “THESE FANCY AIGGIN’S MUCH LONGER iy Mae mm ill STION ABOUT Pee edie FLUSHED ANGRILY AN! LerT TH OFFyce ! G Wesne Back j HERE Daron Y fj AND LEAVE “THose SAUSAGES ALONE ¢ “THESE “OLD FASHIONED Costume U1 BALLS® Give ME A PAN ! IF | Look ANYTHING UKE | FEEL \ Must ee HAVE! BU ANY SENSE THAN T'PLAY THAT THis HOUR OF THE NIGHT 2? HAVEN'T YoU Any REGARD FOR THE Weep and you weep alone.” It was the late Ella Wheeler Wil- cox who wrote the foregoing lines, and when she penned themshe wrote a great truth. Speaking of Mrs, Wilcox reminds us of an interview we had with her in Kansas City one time, We dis covered her at the Coates House and, repmserting the Kansas City Morning Star, “scooped” the Journal. She was exceedingly nice to us, and ve wrote a column and a half, most of which was devoted to her ideas concerning New Thought, Having WAY FRITZIL You HAVENT EVEN - ON YET! NUMBER - ONE “TO RIDE AROUND IN AND ONE For ON tt HEY Mom ® come OUT HERE AN’ Loot WHaT YOUR. Dos WENT AND DONE # completed it, we could hardly wait for the paper to come out, but it finally did. And then we found we had written it “Free Thought"/ all the way SURE MARY sHoutt HAVE 4 DOG = iF Ste EARNS. so Much SrtouD MARY AAS & Doe -~wHaT Do You THK 2° \F THIS ISNT AN OLD FASHIONED DRESS | NEVER SAW ONE # through. We were so disappointed that we took a couple of days off and went to our home in Leavenworth to re cover, f : AND NOW PERMIT US. To express the opinion that * masculine beauty in winter free quently is only’ doop. iY