The evening world. Newspaper, December 18, 1922, Page 28

1982 (New York Bvening World), 'rgus Publishing Company. Merry Christmas! E'S loading to the brim his sleigh With presents, is Kris Kringle, And very soon he'll come our way, To set our blood a-tingle. Each gift he makes there in his : shop, One hundred miles from Juncau, T hope he doesn’t miss old Pop. I'd like a quart of you-know Some handkerchiefs he'll bring for » Ma * A dress for Sister Kitty, While toys will make the kids “Ha, ha!” And yell, “Oh, pretty, pretty!” The cat will get her catnip-ball, A bone will go to Bruno, But Kris will surely spoil it all Unless Pop gets that you-know. OBSERVATIONS. ‘Mermine signs herself “Kaiserin.” Phere's a comic opera in that Doorn couple. ‘They're raising a Newark store to put a new foundation under it. Shop- lifters see 4 very busy these days. Bogash, «., is claiming distinction. Glara Phillips, the hammer slayer, has not beep seen there. We have a suspicion that some- body tas been flashing a “Stop” semaphore on several racehorses of our acquaintance lately. A sixty-eight-year-old Walla Walla, Wash., tan ts cutting his third set of teeth. Presume he dultivated his gums with a Walla Walla wash. You can buy a good wife for 20 tents in West Africa. In America the initial cost is nothiag, but the wp-keep—oh, boy! (Mive tounds were enough to knock out a well known pugilist the other wight. But .bey were rounds of arinks. Copyright, by The Quiet One. uld Santa Ciaus ts coming Yo Ma and May and Jim; They're wonderfully joliy, But Pather—twhat of him? ‘TELEPHONE LOVE. © _-CWhat Has Gone Befure—Mary Dingle and her Chinese maid, Abba Dabt In Hollywo have various adventures and 1 fide to leave. ‘They Ket on a the engine gives a “tootie “Creak, chug, tootle ‘The train had started. Mary * culled the conductor, * “IT hear there are bandits on this line,” she said. Abba Dabba looked out the window and saw an old friend. Sticking her head out, she tried , to kiss him goodby, but the train @had started and she kissed a cow two miles down the track. Mary was much amused at the incident, “You muet of hurted mouth, dearie,” said Mary, “Oh, no,” replied Abba, “I kissed a tenderloin steak.” “Ha, hat” laughed the con- ductor. “You girls certainly tickle me. I guess I won't col- lect no fare from you.” Mary was astounded. She could mot imagine such a thing. It angered her intensely. “Very well, conductor!” she said. Mary and Abba went into the dining car and ordered a dozen hard-boiled eggs. They did not want the people near them to think they did not know how to eat hard-boiled eggs. Such an idea would be preposterous. “Bang, bang!" Guns! The bandits had ar- rived. One came into the diner. “Now!” yelled Mary. She and Abba peppered him t ut your with the hard-boiled eggs. Sud- denly Abba called a halt. “I love that man!” she screamed. Of course the eggs had been ) wasted by that time. It all seemed co absurd.” (To be continued.) Gasoline George. (4 thyme tor Autolsts.) 1 feel that I must write a rhyme » About @ Kittle pansy. I know you'll think this one a crime, But still, you'll find it dif'rent, The sun is shining bright, May, I shot @ poodledink “< every Day a Reai Laugh i Sweet Worid Comics] © nie | | MONDAY, DECEMBER 18, 1922 | ‘Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. Off | JOE’S CAR A Social Flivver ! @ Reading Mh. for | - i: : ak ae eT J & WELL SHRWVEL, WE SURE HAD mis is ee WAS SO MORTIFLED SAN YOu DON'T Caton mie APIP OF ATTIME AN’ THAT DINNER: 4 — THE WAY You acted GoW “To ANY MORE AFFAIRS Opo S WAS A HUMDINGER — SOME SPREAD - OM A CANAL BOAT © Suen tA G a a UKE THAT ~ (F Hey CAN'T LIKE. a NGUAGE — y | By Nea] O’Hara Fouam, and We'll HAFTA HAVE “THis BUNCH AND THE WAY YOU JOKED pe KALE. cent Luk KERR AWAY © Copyright, 1922 ripe York Evening World) FINAL REEL, Leech ~G00se Neck" = On You'd BETTER : Ma You ‘ __ Presa Publishing Company. SHOWING JOE. FF GLAD You i \ AW. LAY OFF ME — 5 EVER SHOW UP THERE Joes FIRST Ay scaep ane Ms oecpa TAVING “he, RENJOYED IT! 1 DID Ty’ pest AGAIN THAT BUTLER Philo DINNER PARTY h merry throng of Yuletide : t Y " guards and tackles. Also puzzie AIR AFTER Tukow You OUT IN THE MIDST of what to buy for dearest friends, DINING AT THE OF WEALTH cheapest skates and other members SUMPTUOUS AND Luxury} of your wife's family. Why not avold BOARD OF THe os thinking and other internal injuries by MILLIONAIRE ohn giving ‘em books in small but harm- RUBBER KING SOME OF US less quantities? Hore Is list of Christ- . WIN DERBIES mas volumes that caterpillar trector NOTE “THe BuT MOST brought tn: HAND oF Joe's eis: “MY DAY BOOK AND LEDGI WIEE “WEGING Wis iho dy by Charles Ponzi. One of the sea- AT His coat! TO PULL son's fictional surprises, with a sup- a PLoucH! plement of Lambs’ Exsuys complied from Mr. Ponzi's customer's. Illus trated by front and side views of au- thor and some rare Bertillon prints. In this volume, Mr, Donzi weaves a powerful story based on the Madame Butterfly the cept le uses dumbbells instead of butterfiles to bring ont’ big effects. In the carly part of the story the poor buttt.—.cs or, rather, the poor dumbbells— Kiss their money goodby and it sails across the sea, presymab!ly, to be changed into international reply cou- It back. Mr, Ponzi shows a great deal of promise in his “Day Book and Ledge In fact, PROMISES are his leading as- sets. He will be out with another yolume shortly, no doubt, as soon as he completes a few wentences and fin- ishes reading his proofs in the House of Correction. pong. never comes “HOME, HEARTH AND HASH,” a collection of peppy poems for fire- side folks by Elmer Gush, poet taure- ate of the people. Book addicts who are between drivel and deep blue ‘sea should leap for the drivel and buy this volume. [ft contains poems about wWoodsheds, apple ple, family albume, rubber boots, swimming holes, grand- pa's crutches, mouso traps and prac tically everything mentioned in the Smears-Sawbuck catalog. If you aren't 4 stuck-up, citified person of evil habits, you'll just love every drop of goo in this book. Bound in moroc- co, calico and gingham. Send one to the home folks, ART, BEEN AT M DovennuTs AGAIN - Now I'A Gone TS Dock You SE ON YouR Doe MHer. DOUGHNUTS ‘RovAd THe NeichBoritood- 4 ARE NT You g ASHAMED 2 y US 10 Up = BoBse sam He Had BET DoucH- NUTS AS BAD AS THAT BEFORE peace BES THe Score “SDay: EAQHED WIPINE Dishes, MAKIN e BEDS, ERRANDS wre ~ .-. is ASHAMED |S | Ber 3 : = Dockan For DREAKIG Pramas, KICK OM CONE TS BED ~TAKINE Dosis ~ MAGNE SHOOTS & Bre - ETCP-+--+ ibe 4 OH - stoot SHES 274 ON DERT. “THAT FREEDOM, or THE DIARY OF A MODERN BRIDE- GROOM,” by Willlam Hohengzollern. A brief treatise by a former cross- country runner, who proves there ain't no such thing, “BEDTIME STORIES for NIGHT WATCHMEN.” An eight-yard shelf of. books selected by Dr. G. I, Kann, President Pro Tem of Alfalfa Agri- cultural College, Fifteen minutes a day devoted to reading these volumes will put any night watchman asleep, Compiled from the speeches of Mayor Mylan, W. H. Anderson, Senator La Follette, Dr. Munyon, George Har- vey, Isadora Duncan, Will H. Hays, Dr. John Roach Straton and W. J. Bryan. y ConTINOS S[erA Bence RHO EE = SAY ARE TAKING ON ANY EXTRA HELP HERE FoR CHRISTMAS 2 | NEED WORK! IF ITS ARING,| HOPE HE GETS THE STONE SET \N PLATINUM! No, {LL BET (TS A DIAMOND BRACELET —- HE KNOWS | WANT ONE! Now ,LETS Ste — ILL “SHINE To GET HIM SOMETHING NICE \ JUST KNOW HE'S. IN THERE. To BUY MY CHRISTMAS PRESENT | \ HOPE HE DoeSn'T. “THE GUIDE." A complete chronic! the booze that’s ft to, drink, brass footnotes to step on. with A stir- ring chapter on highballs. Another chapter on cocktails that makes tho hand shake. Each volume contains a beautiful set of antidotes ond essays ‘on what to do till the ambulance ar- rives. Pinal chapters printed im raised letters for benefit of blind. Volumes in pinto and quarto size; also hip pocket editions. “CARBON COPIES OF CABINET MEETINGS," by Rupert F. Herts, former member of Wilson's Cabinet from 1918 to 1918, inclusive. Notes and explanations of wartime secrets in which Mr. Hork proves conclusive- ly that Josephus Danlels's memoirs wero phony, Franklin Lane's letters were misprints, Lunsing’s c#saya were distorted hokum and Tumulty’s biog- raphy was floozey this authentic work indicates that Henney nn Tower of Babel construction gang was ~ S/F 4 UMC smooth working outfit side of Wil- son's right-hand men. Y'know, CHRISTMAS 1S COMING, AND | WHEN SHE TASTES THAT SOUP \ sue Won't FoRceET ME! (Et i a “WE Hissus {8 EXPECTING. HER. MOTHER FoR DINNER AN T MADE THIS DELICIOUS CLAM THE OLD LADY ts FOND oF CHMIDER AN 1 WANT To One reading of This writing rhyme ts far from play: I wish I owned an auto. What follows nine? “Ten,” You know that much, I'll det you Girls Tove icc cream and gum and men. My shoes are number sizes — It's Christmas time, but what's the THIS AND THAT. aipr Needing a dining room set, the This rhyme to you seems senseless.) wife and ourself took a irw pennies stig. trom the baby’s bank yesterday and|So we started out to see them. In It seems the same to me, biff! diff! | bought a newspaper. Turning to the|the first house we found a man who We more the fics bite Pathe, glassified advertisements we found] had two sets ¢0 @pll and hinted there The answer's AND NOW PERMIT US you that the Well: announces it has been “ nd is just the right size tu ,ul on the pantry shelves. her son's set on the second floor, We|set, did we decided the town had more furniture “Oh, yes we did,” she replied stores than the classified telephone] got it in my pocket.” her own set was for sale and if we] book shows. Then we both smiled, happy in the didn't Ike it, we might buy the set “Well, wife,” said we on the way] realization that neither of us would of her daughter in the next room, or| nome, “we didn’t get a dining room| spill coffee on the mahogany table. were several more down in the base ment. We visited the next place and were welcomed by a woman who said two dining room sets for sale. They were in private homes not {ar from cur place of abode, Instaiment Villa. “Ty to inforr ‘ ‘ t dt ’ i SSSSeeeSe