The evening world. Newspaper, December 12, 1922, Page 32

\ i FP RETES cad TUESDA' By Bide Dudley A ing read that a force of Pro- hibition enforcement axcents fs coming to New York from the Bouth to clean the town up, bas Evening Up In The » Air & with Martin Green EETACESN'T Police Commissioner D Enright believe In ntu Claus?" asked the pilot. “Of course he believes in Santa written a rhyme about them. We] Claus,"' replied the observer. * ry know his name, but we'd rather not tell it, as he's a friend of ours Mere’s his contribution ‘We are coming, Brother An- derson, about 200 strong, We will dry up dear old Broodway till it never couli ’o wrong There'll be crepe on ai] the res- taurants and every cabaret, for we're coming, Brother Ander son; we're coming on to stay Oh, we plan a Merry Christmas; we will make the town so dry, we'll arrest the mistictou, old @ear, for flirting with the rye. New Year's Day will be so hap- py when the crowds burst into song, when we've dried up dear old Broadway till it never could 0 wrong. Can't you hear the eburch bells ringing for the tons Of shattered glass wo wiil smash on dear old Broadway when we ‘Net the old year pass? We will Start the New Year rizht, old @ear; you bet your life we will, Yep, we'll start the New Year right and let the Nation foot the bill. So we're coming, Brother Anderson, we acents from the sticks, and there'll be 200 of us just to teach these New York hicks how to cle brate a Christmas and tu save them all from hell. And we seek your blessing. Brother, for we mean to serve you well! OBSERVATIONS. You don't need the friendship of the man who doesn't want yours New York must burn much b tuminous coal or freeze. Soft fur the householders, eh? 7 A Chicago man has enjoined his wife from talking to him. Probab'y means she'll be !n jail most of the time. The two children of Judge Mitche: of Calloway County, Mo., have just been awarded prizes for large corn they raised. Well, little pitchers have big ears, the saying gocs. And So He Smokes. “EU quit tobacco sure,” he crics, “To-morrow, though we're chums.” He then with satisfaction sighs: “To-morrow never comes.” TELEPHONE LOVE. (What has gone before Mary Tyingle, W Of excitement. @rum I'fe of the switchboard, In Holly. wood they meet a handsonte man, but Hoth: are wise and do not let him get fresh, He tells Mary she Is pretty ané ah: but she dos tell him hy incle Jake unk one time Jet us pro- rom whole week. @xed with the story). Mary and Abba Dabba did not enter the taxicab. They feared it might belong to the trust and both were very much set against monopoly of all kinds. As they Btrolled along they met a woman who was weeping. “Why do you weep, my dear woman?” asked Mary Abba Dabba did not speak, but she showed her approval! of tho question with a smile and a nod. “I bave no food,” sald the poor ‘woman. Mary remembered the handful of hash she had taken from the festaurant where the old man ‘was eating molasses with a long beard. She took it from her pocket. “Tl sell you this hash,” sald the fair girl. A man came rushing up. “Wife, do not eat that hash!” He thus commanded his wife not to eat the hash. “But I would love to eat the hash,” protested the woman. The man burst into laughter. “You would eat hash,” he said, “and yet you will not sew but- tons on my shirt.” The woman admitted the truth of the accusation, so Mary put the hash back in her pocket. The man said hg was a horse doctor “If so, where is your horse‘ asked Mary. He could not reply It all seemed so absurd (To be continued.) THIS AND THAT frene Franklin frequently writes her own songs for use in vaudeville Yesterday a maid, who was fixing up Miss Franklin's room at a local hotel, long stopped pounding a pillow enough to ask: _ “Bay, you write songs, ‘t your” member of the Police Department be- leves In Santa Claus and knows that Christmas 1s only a couple of weeks away “What you mean Is that the sud den activity of the police In invading places where the Mullan-Gage act might possibly be violated indicates that the police are trying to take the Joy out of Christmas. Far from it. ‘The police are only following # tradi- tion “Chief Inspector William J, Lahey, who has just issued an order requir- Ing policemen to investigate cash regis thelr source and ©" \t policemen who enter saloons, resi rants or cabarets in plain clothes on their own time off, knows very well that Mayor Hylan didn't approve the Volstead act. He knows that President Wilson vetoed the Volstead act and that it was passed over the veto. “He also knows why the last Legis- lature passed the Mullan-Gage act. He must know that as an intelligent man if not as m good policeman which he certainly is. He also knows that the people of this St: repudi- ated the Mullan-Gage act a little over a month ago. ra and trace dumbwaltera to “But Inspector Lahey is a veteran policeman, Everybody who has lived jn this town for twenty-five years or more can recall that Just before Christmas—generally about two or three weeks before Christmas-—the Police Department has always taken a sudden and violent interest in the si «1 consumption of Nquor, ‘This Was #0 even in the old days when In some parts of the town the doors of the saloons had no keyhole, Never- theless, along about Christmas time, notices were sent out that the Raines law must be enforced and everything, and the old soaks who had to have thelr liquor after hours or on Sunday had to knock at the alde door and stand outside until identified “Of course the object of the police was perfectly plain. It was to make liquor hard to get so that husbands and fathers and growing sons would be discouraged from epending their money in saloons and take their bankrolls ho! nd give them to the wives and mothers to buy shoes for the children to put in the stockings on Christmas Eve. Nobody can ever tell how many palrs of shoes this gave the children of New York—and other things besides shoes, too, such as candy and nuts and sleds and drume and horns, &o. Certainly the aggre- gate was quite large every Christmas, Any old time saloonkeeper can tell you how his net receipts diminished because of the activity of the police in insuring shoes for the children. “Then along came the Prohibition, Amendment, the Volstead Act and everything, and we have {t on the au- thority of Mr. Roy Haynes, Prohibition Commissioner in Washington, that New York is as dry aw could be ex- pected. Mr. Haynes said he ts per- fectly satisfied with the way the Pro- hibition Law 1s being enforced in this city, You would suppose, perhaps, that this would sort of influence the police to exert themselves in other di- rections, but the force of habit ts well nigh Irresistible. Although the town, according to Prohibition officials, 1s living up to the Prohibition Law as well as could be expected here, we have the poltee, driven by the over- powering {mpulse, again seeking to see that the children get their Chriet- mas shoes.” “Under the conditions described," ventured the pilot, “might we not call this police activity a gesture?” “That's the angle worm's eyebrow agreed the observer. “Yes, indeed,” replied Miss Frank- In, proudly “That's funny,” sald the maid So do I." Whether the story is new or old, we can't say, but Hon. Thomas Gill. of Brooklyn, tells it and thinks it's a dandy “An efficiency expert, says Mr Gill, “died. As he was being carried from the hearse to the grave by #ix men he sat up ! the coffin and yelled: ‘Here! Fire ..ve of these men and get a wheelbarrow’. A Bronxville woman found her small son in the cellar the other day other kids, : | J 0 E 4 Ss Cc A R Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. Oft. Jor .. come ann see my NEW GowN — iF “THis isn'T SWELL ENOUGH FOR “he: SHRIVWVEL'S DINNER WON'T BE MY Faucr — ‘OME AND see iT! oBoY 1 Some aust — HMM X WondEeR IF T've FORGSTIEN ANYone! - IT BEEMS LIKE Tey WEVER GET THAT DOG k, T WorK AN Work - MAKIN, BEDS, DRYIN' DISHES AN’ FRUNNIN' ERRANDS AN EVERY Day I AINT Got &S MucH MONEY &s I Had BEFore - ope, 108 {I Y, Ben, Wash) By Prams Pe Co FRITZI RITZ DECEMBER 12, 1922 WELL! WAT _aBouT ME ? ScroRE we. WERE MARRIED YOU'D HAVE SAID How NICE J Looked ~ now ALL YOU CAN SEE OM SAY! “a's A HUMDINGER — THAT'LL KNOCK OL! SHRIVVEL AN HIS WIFE FOR A ROW OF DECANTERS! (Lu SAY Juat'S SOME SCENERY “0 HANG ON ANYBODY — 1 BET I THovenT “THay's WHAT You ASKED me ApbouT !!! ‘Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat, Off. X WonDER WHAT. HES GIVING US ALLE isolates se out HE'S LEANING Lo MAAS LIST - ‘, . ‘LL SNEAK He GwoRe He WASNT l = Peek! GOING “TO GIVE ANY PRESENTS THIS Year! = ITO oe Ey WILL Many HEY. Marv. I dow = oy Twin BeOWN 8 Z § More dard Luct? Way CET rate witeee You Kin eer} ot-T cant f GoT A Doe AN 4 T Dont NEED & OR Nor ? & DOG- AWFUL Ger Nothin’ ALY this Mate GIVE AS 4 Doar ~Tm eee s TH eheAR — Im iN DEBTS ANYBODY A Ye ONLY IN DERT ; ere TWENTY CeNTs ¢ MAING 20 7 ERRANDS ING. Bere s Foun 14 Oud BANK DREAINE PLATES MAKING Faces Kiewing on Going To BEO iN DBBT- 20s ] CONTINUED “Temorneow WERE. IT 18 ALMOST CHRISTMAS AND IM WITHOUT A CENT, AS USUAL! PA HAS JUST SIMPLY REFUSED WO GIVE ME ANY MONEY— | WISH = \ KNEW, SOME WAY Tb GET SOME OUT OF HIM ! KATINKA | WONDER WHAT THAT Noise 1S 2—THE ) CAT MUST HAVE BEEN LEFT \N THE HOUSE } 1 SUPPOSE. ILL HAVE “To GO DOWN AND PUT IT OUT| 1 ONE CHIRP OUTA You AND G@ | LET ME Go UP WITH YoU AND? Ss YOULL BE PLAYIN’ A HARP! 1 HEAR DON YOUR OLD MANS GOT A LOTTA Leet NE 23 DOUGH AND IM HERE “To GIT : SOME OF IT] CLINGTS DRESS UP, DEAR~ 1 OW, THE MAN WHO FINDS OUT WHAT A Boy is BEST Suite FoR, AND Gives Hirt A Course OF INSTRUCTIONS IN THAT It'll Be a Pipp of a Job for Pipp! TUBE RIGHT THERE-Y6U'O) 7G Tiars ALL RIGHT-| [IVE HEARD SO MUCH) (7 Steer Youne . =(T' Tr a = Be cares KATINKA IS SERVING’ ABOUT You, PARSON. — Tee -Hee L WIsH ¢ HEN IN THe You'd STecER ONE ALONE IN THE Bee WHAT WOR 00 RIGHT DIRECTION! Townn> Me! “Why, Willie,” she said, “are you] Mother let it go at that. BY SPECIAL REQUEST. _ gambling?” “Aw, Mom, we're jist playing cards with that deck you won yesterday playing cards for pepnies with twojat Mrs, Blank's bridge party,” vaid the son, a ' ot = Pa TT ee ay ar |) i ul 1 tyeat . Hi! \ . anet vs. AT WW pia cre Cope. 1908 (N.Y. Kins, Wert) ho ts 1t?"" runs along the side of the |.gsons'| my particular pride = ‘cc ALLOA! Halloa!" shouted the ne fire station," house. Cnly to-day I sprinkled some] ‘What's that got to du with us? H fireman, answering the fran- h to say that my front gar-| new grass seed on my lawn’ “Oh, well; the Bigsons ked me to “This ain't a gardener’s!" roared | tell you that their house was on fire, AND NOW PERMIT US | tic tsiepnone rummonn ta the fre wtation you've enemas {ell yop She thats House wad 60, To suggest that uneasy looks “Are you there?’ “I know! I know! I know! But But the freman was gone,—Chicago t Tknow, My front gerder iI want to say that as my garden tal Herald the face that wears a frown, - *en,"* e } 4 Mr