The evening world. Newspaper, December 11, 1922, Page 28

Laugt_ a — cede eat at eteaaseacescocnadd Comics Evening By Bide Dudley Copynaeht, N22 (New York Evening World) 3 : reas Publishing Co Luckp @illum! . teacher kept me after school A half a hour to-day, She says at 3 But Willum Jones, you stay You stuck Pete Taylor with a pin An’ that’s against the rule, Tl have to punish you for that, | canted an Imperial Klown, If you kan I'll keep you after school.” The other kids all grinned at me, As they went up the aisles, They thought that I was pretty sore, But I set there all smiles, You see, our teacher, Miss McGee, Is young an’ pretty, too, So I like stayin’ after school With her, an’ so would you. 1 think she’s mighty doggone nice, She’s only twenty-three, 1 never burt Pete with that pin, I bet she’s stuck on me, Some day when I get big I guess I'll ask her to be mine, 1 don’t mind stayin’ after school, In fact, I think it's fine. i OBSERVATIONS. Do you understand this strike of Jewish butchers? Kosher don't. It is announced Yale has a record roll. Always heard it was a wealthy institution. Marriage by radio ts illegal in New York, but people seeking divorce are permitted to air their troubles, Those Wellsville girls who have formed The Forty Club wish us to state that the name refers to the number of members. Of course, children need punish- ment occasionally, but was it right for a Harlem mother to make her nine-year-old son, who had slapped his sister, read the President's mes- sage clear through? Praising Us. We delivered a lecture on “Humor” in a nearby town the other night, and so far have received three let- ters praising us for it. One enthu- siast writes: “IT heard you talk here and could ve stood half an hour more of it if necessary.” The local paper's comment was: “Those who missed the Dudley lec- ture last night missed a treat, Little Mamie Pinckney sang.” TELEPHONE LOVE. ) (What Has Gone Before—Mary Dingle, & very cute girl, gives up her job as a telephone “Central to go out and sce intment when Mary tres to jead rat from a amall boy who needs money to get his mother a shotgun, ‘The boy asks too much for the rat, #0 Mary and Abba Dabba go to Hollywood wii out the treasure. There they meet a man. Let us #ee what follows.) Mary and her maid left the palatial home of the picture di- rector and strolled down the street. As they turned a corner, Mary noticed Abba Dabba had something under her coat, “What you got, Abba?” In this peculiar manner Mary asked her maid what she was . hiding. Abbe produced the hid- den article. It proved to be the sign reading: “Do not spit on the floor or walls.” “Why did you steal that from the palatial home of the picture director?” Mary was asking her. “Well, gal, I thought as how I wanted a souvenir,” replied the Chinese maid. Mary was perturbed. She did not believe in signs. “Why did you not steal a ous- ~‘dor?” she demanded, her face ¢ Jhed like a red, red rose. The maid did not reply. 80 _ hailed a taxt. fav. a taxi?” she asked ly. A sweetie!” The driver ~ ¢ Mary hit bim over the head with the sign. “Drive on, please,” she said. A mule was seen approaching, followed closely by a coal wagon. “I wish I could get a horse- shoe off that mule’s foot, for fuck,” said Mary. Abba Dabba did not reply. She was in a reverie. Tt all seemed so absurd. (To be continued.) NUBI'S DOPE. . "Dear Dud,” writes Jefferson « , Shrewsbury Nutt, now In Bogash, wae oP. “The rest kin go, | Kome One, Kome All By Neal O'Hara. Copyright, 1922 (New York Evening World), reas Publishing Company RISTMAS ts koming. Why not send us $10, along with tho name of a friend, and give ‘him a year's subscription to the Kluck Kluck Klan? Present it to him on Kristmas morning and tell him Kris Kringle left tt for him. It will ktiekle him to kdeath. Every agent that signs up ten kus- tomers for $100 kash is entitled to be kollect $1,000, you are a wizard, im- mediately on receipt of the koln. The Klan is the greatest money or- der ever known. It will take any- thing from a kronen up According to the Klonstitution, a sheet and pillow kase are the official kostume, although in kolder klimates you can wear a kwilt. If you think politics makes strange bed fellows, join our klan and see what bed klothes kan do, ‘The official raiment for our enemies is a simple dosign of ktar and feath- ers, ‘Ktar’’ is pronounced ‘‘ca- tarrh."? as in coughing spells Our official song is ‘Beautiful K-E-Katy."’ Sent postpaid in any key on receipt of the kash. Our official cheer is: Kekity-X, Co-X, Co-X, Kekity-X, Co-X, Co-X, O-op, O-op, Kale, Rah, rah, rah, Rah, rah, rah, Rah, rah, rah, KALE, KALE, KAL Every X in the cheer i $10 bill. Our membership embraces a large kollection of knuts and Kongressmen We specialize in large kollections of anything. ‘We stand for 1(@ per cent. profit and Americanism, strictly in the order named. We are stronger for the flag than George M. Kohan, Our motives are whiter than kalsomine. Our hearts are 18-karat gold. Et ketera, Every member of the lodge holds down a title, beginning in a modest way as Keeper of the Kuspidor and working up, according to merit and konduct, until he becomes Imperial Keeper of the Klondike. Konscientious klanatics sometimes go up the skale by leaps and bounds, in the manner of the kangaroo. The job of Keeper of the Klondike is @ very desirable kniche to occupy. In addition to accepting kontribu- tions to the kause, we also kommer- clalize the sale of sakred water in tin kans direct from our private kreek. We also sell to members who are faithful and trusting a weekly publl- cation that is better than Sha Ke- spearo and funnier than Mar Ktwain. —— That konstitutes a koncise outline of what we are and what we aim for. Kome be a’member of the Klan. Don't say Knix, Join and bring in your kith and kin. The kost is only $10 per kapita, Sign the koupon, ‘We want the next census of the In- visible Empire to be 50,000,000 at $10 a throw. That will make $500,000,000 in the invisidle treasury. The receipts will go into the invisi- ble grip. That will be the psykological mo- ment for the treasurer to bekome in- visible too, The buck privates will be left with the Invisible empire, In other words, they will get the open air. Bekome a klanatic now! ©. “I and the wife have decided to launch the International Asso- ciation of Four-Leaf Clover Clubs, with her as National President and | ae Chief Organizer, Every town and olty in the United States will have a branch, and in the spring all the members will be expected to go out to the lawns and fielde and hunt for four-leaf clovere. Each club that finde 1,000 will be given @ banner of victory by the parent lodge in New York. The dues will be $1 a year per member, and all money will be sent to me. We ought to get 100,000 members. Each branch club will have a ladies’ auxiliary singing society, and | and the wife Intend to make ‘Send Dudley to the Chair’ the official club song. Then when your Presidential cam- palgn gets warm, we can call all the auxiliary clubs together and have 60,000 women sing the song. The wife will lead it if her voice Ie in harmony that day, To start the club here we need only. wbout $11. tter send check. Four- leaf olovers always did fascinate JOE’S CAR Boo- Hoo!l! T Lust MY New STRING OF PEARLS WHILE SHOPPING “TO-DAY! NEVER AGAIN! GOSH How I DREAD GOIN' 7% “Hat DINNER AT SHRIVVEL'S — 4 WON T EAT WITH MY KNIFE BUT I'LL MAKE SOME BREAK Just as sour! LITTLE MARY MIXUP MARY THINKS SHE S EARNING MONEY FoR &BoG-ANbDas& , MATTER OF FacT sHes GETTING IN DEBT Ae THE TIME- ISNT IT A SCREEM 2 Pook KiD- wee ITs Good For AVS WIPE DISHES AND MAKE BEDS AND RUN ERRANDS LZ —T'uc Buy HER THAT Doe WHETHER sHE EARNS THE MONEY HERE —ONE EYE ON “Ty'SouP- ONE ON “Ty! WIFE — AND SHE KICKIN’ MY SHINS UNDER 1 CAN SEE MYSELF SITTIN’ OF ME! Row OF LIMOUSINES tt “TH' TABLE ! ‘ ‘Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. Off MILLIONAIRES ON ALL SIDES {LL LOOK LIKE A WHEELBARROW PARKED IN A > CHAPTER “UREE —— “WE PROPER Use. OF THe FORK ‘Yee Dear- -weil MY! ton T prized Got ADVERTIGING, Your PEARLS WonperFut ? / Back HUH- @uick work! WELL, COME ON MARY- WIPE The Distes AND EARN Your CENT - : in adel NOW EAR HIM- BOT t ‘ Did - YE GODS! HERE COMES BOBBY BONDS! IF HE SEES ME, FRITZ) WILL KNOW ALL Apour (T BEFORE NIGHT ! KATINKA KATINKA WON'T CALL HE A BooB ANY MORE! TH GONNA THROW A BUFF LIKE THE OTHER Guys FRor NOW ON T CAN ACT LIKE A HIGHBROW IF I — WANT To! WOULDN'T YOu RATHER Go To THE OPERA INSTEAD OF A Movie — LENSoY_ THe So Way, FERDIE! 1D Love To HEAR AN OPERA BUT 1 Never THOUGHT You CARED FoR SUCH HIGH CLASS ENTERTAINMENT ! WAIT HERE WHILE 1 GET SOME SEATS — THE MAN IN THE BOX OFFICE KNowS}] SURPRISE Me- IMA uveexry —/ (ME iS PATRON! ve A me—didn't they you? Constable Pelee Brown tried to arrevt a man here yesterday for winking at a woman, but the man said his eyes had some kind of affectation and hit Pelee in the nose. Much ex citement, but could learn nothing, Pigg and expect him to squeal. : SS wie BETTER | You CERTAINLY Bf Go IN Now- | THe CURTAIN GOES UP IN FIVE INUTES ¢ we AND (MY PEARLS WERE ‘MERELY IMITATION § 1M Nor A-GonNé- { wiPe Distes oR MAKE MY BED OR RUN Here s THe | Score TODay Hictiad & ON Gone ‘want 7 SEE Some | ees NO=- THEY ONLY HAD BALCONY SEATS LEFT! AND NOW PERMIT US COULDN’T BLAME HIM. “Don't you dare to presume nothing "7 N excited middle-aged woman] of the kind,” snapped the womsn. To inform you that the police rushed into @ police station and “Dog, indeed! No, sir, husband—my hope to break up that Staten i husband. He's missing, disappeared, accosted the {nspector on duty. dec * Island gang of burglars soon. ent A Gocamped ie They have pinched « {Where's my Joe?" she demanded, You don't say so! hey have pinched a man named “Beg your pardon, madam—dog, | “But I'll have you to understand presume?” said the officer, that I do say 80, How dare you elt there and contradict me! I'll report] like a dummy, What do you think of you, sir, Do you hear that? I'll re-| that?” port you! Where's my husband?" “Well, madam," replied the inspeo- “My dear madam’’- tor, “I haven't the pleasure of your “How dare you call me your dear| husband's acquaintance, but 1 should madam? Do you imagine I came here] say he is a very wise man. Officer, to be insulted? I tell you my hus-|show this lady gut!" —@hicago band has decamped, and you sit there} Herald, i *