The evening world. Newspaper, December 2, 1922, Page 12

rid Comics JOE’S CAR Up In The Martin Green’ Y'Look at “ty'Gauce an’ IT SHOWS “THe “TANK HALF Fut — CLIMB WN AND START OFF —— FIRST THING Y'kKNow You'RE sTuck ON A HEN ALONG Comes SOME Guy WITH A BRIGHT IDEA IN Hts Dome Fe AN’ INVENTS “TH’ GASOLINE GAUGE WOH A FLOAT AN' A NEEDLE ON ADIAL N'EVERYTHING so Y'aot No wav OF KNOWING, Th’ GAUGE (5 STUCK AND ONLY A SPOONFUL OF GAS IN —Ta' Tank ! YEARS AGO WHEN 1GoT MY FIRST CAR I HAD “To POKE A RULER IN “TH'GAS “TANK UNDER “HE FRONT SEAT “To FIND OUT How MUCH Gas 1 HAD Copyright, 1822 (New York Evening World), yy Press Publishing Company. » Povrrat, York Evening World) fe y Proms Publishing Oe. ELL," remarked the pilot, Bihoa, Time! se ae ; “Va certainly rather be HHRISTMAS time is almost Hane te oh Wreand Oran here, crossing a New York street during * the traffic rush hours."’ "You don't have to cross the street,’ declared the observer. “The chauffeurs are accommodating now They drive up on the sidewalk when they think a pedestrian is in need of hospital or morgue treatment, The work of chasing pedestrians off the streets between the curbs has been so successful that the motor car drivers who think a Heense to operate is a Dlanket affair, carrying assault and battery and homicide privileges, are taking possession of the sidewalks, and it looks as if the city, in the course of the next few years, will have to cut arcades through all blocks to accommodate walkers. “If you happen to live on a street But the day, to me, Won't be more than half as dear As it used to be. Forty years ago or so, _ _ Christmas set me wild, But, in those old times, you know, I was just a child. T should never talk about Christmas years ago— Jt just brings the heartaches out, And each year they grow. As a Christmas gift, now—say— » . Should some fairy call, _ Vd choose an old Christmas Day, Santa Claus and all. Y ‘Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. oft. Misery Likes Company ! OBSERVATIONS. where you have to pass gavages or ' Vion MY THAT MR. GLOOM” WHAT DID You DO “10 Kany a man expcets to g0 ON @) service stations on your way to the <(SNVFE) AN ALL SuRE HAS HIS, CHEER HIM UP WHEN ybig drunk when his ship comes in. | subway or the “'L’ these mornings MY WiFE DoeS- \m “RoUBLES HAGNT He ToLD You HIS 16 READ HUMOROUS Y ? x SENT HIM PASSAGES OUT OF - ; Awe WITH MY LAFE INSURANCE y ba A emice $ PoLicy “To Me! i Senator Couzens of Michigan looks like Irving Jefferson Lewis. But can he live up to it? Gunmen held up a lot of waiters ' 4m Chicago Thursday. Ought to be ' & joke here somewhere. Now that photos of the owners are Fequired on pistol permits, how . Many men will have the face to carry such weapons? Through a new invention we will @oon be able to see hundreds of miles. Ought to help the “What Didja See To-day?" page a lot. A Los Angeles speeder, going _~ forty miles an hour, had dynamite fm his car. If he was in such a doggoned hurry, why didn’t he touch @ match to the stuff? Passengers on the liner President Polk say. they saw a ball of fire roll- -fng on the sea Tuesday. You can _ bet your life that ship was outside es the three-mile limit. ay; A Smoker’s Song. Phe man behind the gun is brave, To him all honor's due; The man behind the plow, of course, Is quite a fellow, too; But could you notice me at work, You'd very plainiy see The man dehind the match-boz is The “man behind” for me. AS TO “BILL SKINNER.” “Thank you, Bide Dudley,” writes “Just a Woman,” under date of Wednesday. “I'm @ ‘Bill Skinner’ and my Thanksgiving dinner will have to be eaten in a restaurant with the ‘other poor guys with hearts sinking.’ And there'll be a tear in my eye—there is now—and a pining im my soul for a touch of human interest. One needs more than a thought sent to one—one needs a fiesh and blood touch—a sound di- rect from human lips, of cheer—on ‘Thanksgiving Day. “But, thank you, Bide Dudley. A sense of humor, most of the time, has beside it a still greater sense ef the pitiful places in the human ‘world.” you will get what I mean. There is a jam at the door of the garage or the service station. Does the chauf- feur seeking to enter with his car draw up alongside the curb and wait until the jam ts dissipated? Only oc- casionally. Generally he drives up and pokes the snoot of his car against the car ahead and spreads his vehicle clear across the walk. “Seldom does a pedestrian encoun- tering one of these cars insist on his rights and demand that the chauffeur back out in the street and clear the sidewalk. In almost every instance the veler on foot meekly passes around the rear of the car and navi- gates the gutter. “However one cannot in all honesty “Buds CountHants and fairness blame the bloodthirsty} LITTLE MARY MIXUP ‘Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. Off Little Brother Is a “Hanger On”! chauffeur for his contempt of, and aversion to, the average pedestrian. - ‘This city possesses the largest per- CH ia centage of dressed-up hicks of both fsssT ¢ Heme - y 7 MM ein: wexes of any community on the globe. 2 Vip GO ON AWAY — THIS 1S Stupidity and a desire to get some- where ahead of everybody else are re- sponsible for most of the accidents to adults on our streets. TowseR - Here 3 | A BOHE FoR You ¢ The streets of London are not en- tirely deserted. Traffic along the Strand and Kingsway and in the thor- oughfares radiating out from Picca- dilly Cireus and on Tottenham Court Road and High Holborn is pretty well congested all day long and well into the night, yet the number of street casualties and fatalities in London is far below the number in any large American city. “I am of the opinion that this Is because most of the people who cross the streets in London are English. ; They stop, look and listen and because HE'S GONE ! THATS SAYL LETS STEAL A Ride | of long courses in discipline they obey FUNNY---. THERE'S ON HIM | 1 CAN ‘RUN THAT e the signals of the traffic cops. I have been on the Strand during the war at @ o'clock in the evening of a foggy, snowy winter day, with all street lights out because of fear of wir raids, with the thoroughfare simply jammed with buses and taxicabs and all the workers in the city seeking transpor- tation to the suburbs, and in this seeming Stygian chaos there was al- And then “Straight from the Heart” drops us a poem anent Bill. It follows: ways order, Every whistled signal of Dear Dud, old Bill Skinner, or one|a policeman was obeyed. Bvery reg- of his fate, ulated movement of foot or vehicwar Offers thanks for your thought on his plight, and ‘tis great To know, in this sordid and merci- leas town, There's one who forgets not the chap who is down. Though hash ts the dest I will feed on to-day, With your words bright in mind 1 traffic was executed with almost milt- tery precision. When the buses and axis had the right of way the PEDES- TRAIANS remained on the SIDE. WALKS, and when the pedestrians crossing the street had the right of way no vehicle moved until the street was clear. KATINKA a He Got a Kiss in the Long Run! LARRY WHITTINGTON 5) Somulbsgggl bagll del GOSH, WHEN T STEPPED IN HeR | Mave 1 Let Gee, SHE'S STILL CHA | SAV! Dib You Te HY) ~s Good Fe : And unlike Bill Skinner, I now fect} “In New York we have vust hordes ROOM’ KATINKA MADE A DIVE FoR SOME THING SLIP AN CAN'T RUN ANOTHER || Missus THAT 1 Saip 1] { ER--R- If Pale hie } @ thrill, of undisciplined residents who do not ME! LT DON'T KNow WHAT'S |\\MHEN TWAS TALKING BUocKk- TM ALL IN! TLE | | WAS TiReD oF HAVIN'| } Y-E-S! SHE LEFT nS. ares SP Bnd in yel—ty God, popes Sur languARe bave little ua>) | Tue Harter AN! T.AIN'T 5 _ | {To He MaDam THE | || HAVE To STOP AN’ Take y/ | HeR HoIHER AROUND } f— MORNING 2 TT f | Dud, I wilt. derstanding of cur institutions and GONNA SlP To ASK! & - PUNISHMENT, THASALL! THE House ? <——~- v - ewe , And thanks to you, too, “Just a| have copied the manners of the New aed : Pre , [Sp / Woman” and “Straight From the| Yorkers who have no consideration ae ye Heart.” TELEPHONE LOVE. Story in which The Greate (lucene weer Fienenye reer Love Mary Dingle stepped to the middle of the street and beld up onc hand. The traffic stopped for the rights of others—no impulse but to beat everybody else to it. If the police would start arresting hog- gish pedestrians an educational period of benefit might be inaugurated.”” “I see,” said tho pilot, “that Will- tam H. Anderson of the Anti-Saloon > x 1 League told ap audience in Toronto | “Ob, young lady, you're so {tat Prohibition has transformed | silly!” said a tramMec cop. mew. Foes Mary turned on him, her eyes “Mr. Anderson is right.’ sald the obeerver. “Prohibition has trana- flashing fire. She was about to feply when Sport O'Toole bound- by aa to her side. me “Let's tell riddles,” he sug- . gested. it Mary could see no good in this formed New York from a city where you could buy whiskey in the open at 15 cents a throw to a city in which you can buy whiskey under cover at @n advance of 500 per cent,” Cope. 1982 (N.Y. Eve. World) By Prem Pub Co. ; suggestion. Returning to the |" SSS . - nnn “ai —— . rey a sidewalk, she encountered Butler “Where,” he asked, “is Senator like the barber any too well. “TI love you,” he said ly entered the restaurant, Plac- “Wait Till the Sum Shines, Nel- “Tl bet you're married and AND NOW PERMIT US Bosch, the well known tonsorial Popple?” “Pass on, Bosch,” she finally “If you did,” replied Mary, “ ing three hard-boiled eggs in his lie,” Mary, coyly at first’ but got a family,” said she. ae . = «@ artist. Bosch had a bair brush Mary knew he referred to the said, would not call on Tilly Google so pocket, he sat down and wept. A later with great gusto, did a fox- The cop looked shame-faced, To Inform you that 3; Bolem is tm one hand and seemed per- old man with the long beardgbut O'Toole took ber hand and often.” hyrdy-gurdy man arrived. He trot op the pavement with theft And then night time fell a shoemaker up in the Yorkville she would not tell, She didsnot kissed it. It struck home, O'Toole qulet- was necded. As he ground out traffic cop. (To be continued.) section, LJ {