The evening world. Newspaper, November 20, 1922, Page 28

Evening By Bide Dudley &® genuine treat: How nice it is to have kin, blood, It Is pleasant to be near them, mud, Relatives are indeed a blessing, several, ones, ‘ devil. My _ sister’s Ricketts, Kicked old Balmer, What if he did cali her “Sis?” child, Uncle manner, Often they visit us too long, got fresh, And squeezed my hand, which was wrong. OBSERVATIONS. Roses are in bloom in Yonkers. Noses too, we suspect. Ledoux, bantamweight, gave French & belt on the jaw and kept the belt. going away. return. ing new instruments. it on the instruments, eh? for you, gentle readers, too bad she didn’t get these? now! Highway Rhymes. I walk along on Lexington, Is now a@ store or restaurant. The Sputterer. with us, “Say it with flowers.” ‘0 be sure,” we replied, ere,” came from Desk 9. a plumber? (Not, an generally supposed, based on Shakespeare's immortal comedy, “Bumt- head Brown.”) “Anna Crackerjacki!" The court clerk called tho name. Anna stepped forward. She wae the picture of poverty, yet her spirit had not lost its fire. Never had a Crackerjackt been known to admit defeat, and Anna was @ true descendant of that famous Mud Valley family, “You are charged with arson. Guilt¥ or not guilty?” Before she could reply, an aged Negro spectator arose. “Yo' Honah,” he said, “I's de guilty one. Dis little gal ain't neyah did nothin’ wrong.” All wept. This show of devo- tion from #n old family servant was impressive. Anna broke down. “Oh, Uncle Eph!” she said. “You are such a dear. Has your wife beaten you up lately?" At that moment a roar was heard, The cyclone had arrived. With its passing came the reall- zation that the Court House had been razed. But Anna was un- scratched. To the Judge the lawyer for the State said: “Wasn't that a terrible blow?” Anna drew her automatic. The Judge picked up the menu and ordered pork and beans. A tense moment followed. (To Be Continued.) Weornignt, 197 (New York Evening World) Press Publishing Co. HE subject of relatives Is one in which everybody is inter- ested. Therefore we know our readers will find Ellabelle Mac Doo- Nittle’s poem “Kin,” printed herewith, People of your own dear Unless they get to throwing] py income Tax Bureau show Pullman I'm glad | have more than But 1 do not like the no-good |iner sails for Burope with passenger Which are worthless as the Teeney Petey Teeney mustn’t .act in that]”°"- But getting back to relatives— A man at the movies last night Sultan didn’t tell his wives he was No wonder he fears to Wellsville Band contemplates buy- So they blame We had some more of these won- derfully bright paragraphs prepared but the scrubwoman got ‘em. What's that— Aw, Where many surface street cars run, Fach drinking place I used to haunt, A friend of ours who sputters when he talks dropped in a fow minutes ago to discuss a certain play When he left, our stable- mate (at desk 9) grinned and asked if we had ever heard the expression ell, that guy says it with show- Did you ever meet one of those fel- lows who make you wonder whether you ought to buy a raincoat or call ICE-CREAM ARTHUR’S LOVE. By Neal O’Hara Copyright, 1922 (New York Evening World), by Press Publishing Company. BOSTON—Recount showns Beaver saves Henry Cabot Lodge's face. MOLINE, I.—Production of coal shovels drops off 60 per cent. DAVENPORT, Ia.—Sleve factories work overtime to supply demand. DETROIT — Republican machine claims it was counted out in recent election under Marquis of Newberry rules, WASHINGTON—Statistics released porter makes more with his brush than Howard Chandler Christy and Maxfield Parrish. NEW YORK—U. 8. Shipping Board list of 787 dootleggeras Americans, CHICAGO—!nternational Brother- hood of Ammonia Workers threaten strike that will tle up 1923 supply of artificial ice. NEW BRUNSWIC aelling eight weeks in advance for Hall-Milla murder mystery. Manage- ment claims farce will run for fyll ané three WESTERVILLE, @Q.—Anti-Saloon League claims drys in recent election carriea Paris, Ky., Berlin, N. H., Rome, N. Y., Cairo, M., New Phila- delphia, O., and other principal cities. NEW YORK—Clemenceau breaks trans-Atlantic record by arriving from Europe to make speeches without box office schedule attached. ATLANTIC CITY—At annual con- vention of Alphabet Soup Manufac- turers, committee recommends changes in style for the coming year. Vowels will be omitted from soup to help deaden sound of alphabet soup eaters. Special committees was ap- pointed to determine how to distin- guish comma from apostrophe when found floating in a plate of soup. WASHINGTON—Democrats have high hopes for 1024. SCRANTON—Coa! barons have high hopes for $19.50, é NEW YORK—Owing to difficulties in Far East, supply of oriental rugs has been cut off. Trade will be sup- piled with orientals, as usual, from the Near East; including Jersey City and Newark. DETROIT—Henry Ford, noted au- tomobile manufacturer; is planning to make a,dark horse out of Almself by 192}. PARIS—No news about Ganna to- day. ZURICH—Nothing new concerning Mathilde this week. . CHICAGO—Everything quiet along Lake Shore Drive. @ word. Muriel not saying WASHINGTON—Anti-Saloon Lea gue protests against beer, whiskey and creme de menthe colored taxicabs. BURLINGTON, Vt.--Scarcity of re frigerator vars between Chicago and this city threatens to cut State off from supply of Vermont turkeys for ‘Thankegiving. NEW YORK—Guy that ured to think up names for Pullman cars bas new job of naming brands of fabric washing powder. WASHINGTON—Postmaster Gen- eral Work is running 8 miles, 187 yards and 6 inches behind Hays and Burleson in press notices, LOS ANGELES--Bumper crop of climate predicted for this winter, NUTVILLE, Conn.-—Private insane hospital adopts slogan, ‘‘The guest Is always ight,’ Entire enrollment de- mands immediate release. NEW YORK~-Art jury decides that idea of statue, The Discus Thrower, is that husband is just about to throw away wife's favorite jazz band record. WASHINGTON—In effort to win women's vote, National Republican Committee announces that 1924 will be leap year, mall for him. “What's the name?" clerk. “Canteerya,” came the reply. “The name,” said the clerk tn a louder voice. “Canteerya.” The clerk wrote his question on a plece of paper. “My name,” said the guest pleas- antly, “is Canteerya.” “You win,” satd the clerk, as he began going through the mati, asked the We have seen several Hamlets in our time and each one had his high spot in which he excelled all the others. John Barrymore's best mo- ith a Laugh | | JOE’S CAR MONDAY, NOVEMBER 20, 1922 ———— The Evening World Comics | 1M SICK OF GETTIN: RazzEDd Every DAY —I'Lt TAKe IT DOWN oO MIKE AN' GET HIM “To Fix tr ONCE AN' FOR ALL TL CAN ALWAYS COUNT ON Goop OL’ MIKE “T'HELP ME out! NOw NEyER MIND: — You DON'T HAFTA START THAT acain! You've. BAWLED ME out “Twice WPAY FoR ct AN THE BIG LITTLE FAMILY IF “THese OFFices ‘ ; STEAMBOAT — Don Look As Come HERE You BiG DUMBBELL ‘ Ind YOu NoT Yo TAKE ANY Coonmes AND Here ARE TWo Gone- IT Hink You BETTER HAVE THATS SPANKING’ + FRITZI RITZ 7 DANCE ON THE TOES, FRITZI C\ WONDER WHERE TEDDY 1$ ~~~ THAT Y'HAVENT BEEN OFFA BOBBY BONDS GETS TO BE MoRE ‘- OF A PEST EVERY DAY — Gos! eRe | HE 1S AGAINI 5 z GEE, IH ASHAHED To CALL] GOODNESS! NY ERMINE SCARF)| Don't BE ON KATINKA WITHOUT An / [IS GONE! I MusT Have 7) SILEY = OVERCOAT IN THis CoLD LEFT IT IN THAT THEATRE -) Y'DIDNT WEATHER, BUT WHAT’s 4 [RUN BACK AND WEAR A SARE Look, FerDiE! ) - TONIGHT — xc \yirusT HAVE LEFT cs} (FUNNY 1 CANT | FIND IT INS tty Roor- TL MUST GET UP EARLY IN THE HORNING AND) TE, LLOOK FOR j — LAIN'T Got THe} PRICE OF ONE; HEY stupid! Come out HERE —1 BEEN TRYIN" TO ADJUST MY CARBURETOR AN (T'S ALL QUTA WHACK! ATS Wer x BaiD= AN “To-MornRow CLEAN UP TH ANTE ROOM AN’ CONSULTIN’ AW. T coud NT HELP EATIN: THAT Cookie - YOU MAKE THe BEST COOKIES INTHE WoRLD An! Bosse said te wisHED HIS Mé&- COULD MAKE suctt VED NICHOLS (S No GENTLEMAN HE AINT! WHILE | WAS SINGIN’ HE , CAME UP AND STRUCK ME TWICE ! aes eee ; Mike Makes It Three Straight! SAY ~ You OWNERS Gwe MEA PAIN! WHY DONCHA LEAVE “THINGS ALONE ? Y'PAY GOOD MONEY FOR A CAR Built BY EXPERTS “UAT KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT “THey'RE Doin! AN IN OME WitD GUESS You UNDO ALL 4 [wie ste Ger THe DOLLAR OR Wil, SHE NaT -2(CON TINUE TeroRROw! Se Bud~ BaiNHeeHBF A ~ 2 |] Gwete, wi ODNTCHA: STOP “SINGIN ) oo _THE FIRST Time $ .___> Re a om ment 1s when he wields the rapier. HAD REASON FOR WEEPING, Incidentally, when we were a small and it has remained indelibly in our There was a good bit of ground to mind because it lasted so long we bor, “it's a fine thing to be sym THIS AND THAT. ‘To suggest that, while golf LAD in Washington got a job] cover. After about two hours’ toll he “A tramp came along and stole the Besos But you musn't worry So 07 . boy we saw a young lawyer named |were afraid to go home. “Hamlet may empty pews, as a New York A that didn’t at all please him| begen to cry. shovel from the boy next door." ex-|° need vet te re tha bool Standing by the desk in a Broad-| Ott Men sive a performance of jafter 1 A. M. is no dish for a youth} preacher says it does, it empties shovelling the snow from] ‘What's the matter, son?’ asked a| plained the lad, between sk ao arin ty he Ridns abe, way hotel yesterday, P heard a!“Hamlet” out in Leavenworth, Kan., ‘of ten, a whole lot more bottles, a sidewalk in front of his house.| sympathetic neighbor, as he game| ‘Well, gon,” contiqued the neigh: | suovel too.”—Philadelphia Ledger. Pe ‘ ,