The evening world. Newspaper, November 17, 1922, Page 36

aicediieiihihls elt tadiitacieiaatins hadi nt anal Start the Da With a Laugh \ ! |) i; ; Evening By Bide Dudley. 1922 (New York Wyening World) Press Publishing Oo. IE clouds that gather in my sky Depress me, And thoughts that only gloom fs nigh Obsess me. ‘And then I realize that woe Can’t last forever, and | know That very soon the sunlight’s glow Will bless me. You'l! find a smile from deep de- spair Will yank you, And then of joy you'll get your share— You crank, you! {There is no rule for happiness, But common sense can rout dis- tress. I've preached enough to-day, | guess. 1 thank you! OBSERVATIONS. Bugaring city offictals usually re- sults in a sweet mess. William Allen White insists on be- ing iried for whatever he did. He should lose all that publicity! Columbia Team Engages in Stiff Practice.—Headline. And yet Colum- ‘bia doesn’t want a lot of stiffs on the team. Dr. Cove says that if you have an allment ard keep saying “It's going,” i will go. Must be something in it, for, come to think of it, we've never known a sick auctioneer, Highway Rhymes. T waik alony the Bowery, Hopteting funny sights to see; J find a let of clothing shops ® Good ; a Good 2 Night! Copyright, 1922 (New York Rvening World) ‘by Press Publishing Oo. HCENT sock on mustache ad- R quired by G. 0, P. was un- expected as Charley Chaplin in patr of new shoes. It came like a bolt of black eilk from blue velvet sky. When dawn broke loose on Ship of State, It looked like 8, 8. Hesperus after that rough night. Repubs have majority of next Con- gress, if that's anything to brag about. Having bulge tn outfit lke that 1s same as owning majority in- terest in mulo that eats but refuses to work. Ohto tarned down 2.75 beer, It also trimmed Senator Pommery Sec, But rest of country leaped |: heavy in favor of light wines and dark beer, or vice versa. It makes no difference which. Since reform guys had their heads flattened, this country ts broadminded. INERS Reliance and Resolute changed registry and became Rock and Rye. That was atraw that broke the camels’ vote. Looks uke Congress twill be Hberal from now on. Farm party will raise grain alcohol and skim off cream de menthe, Con- gressmen will send to conatituents elderberry, grape and absinthe seeda, In subways, part-mutuel machines scriptions twill be written in English and filled with Sootch. “Stein Song’’ will be national anthem, and those than can will stand up. Kelley cure is now rich man’s col- lege. Official institution for threty poor 49 place where cheer leader's megaphone is ether cone, and stomach pump ts entrance exam, But time ts coming when poverty citizens will have throats swabbed in high collars and real beer underneath. Hace of cum slote, EP, it was real surpriso parcel thoso ballot machines delivered. Couple of Harding’s golf partners got JOE’S CAR — AND. WHAT, HAPPENS — 7 JOE DECIDES (TF ISN'T GWING AENOUGH MILEAGE ON GASOLINE. SO “wat DOES HE DO BUT TINKER WIM THE THING Tee tt WON'T WELL - we Gort Ths NEw GAR AND fT RAN BEAUTIFULLY — §T woULd Go UP HILLS AS FAST AS You'D WANT TT —UNEVER DROVE. A Cary “THAT HAD AS MUCH PEP AND JUMP IN tT Be YOURSELF, DEAR- THAT QUEETION (6 HARDY FAIR Trade Mark Rog. 0. 6. Pat. Off. anne nn nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn -Trade Mark Reg. “Aw SAY — Now BEE —|] —- LISTEN HERE ~—— wit’ YOu PLERS®. VEEP STi Pf! Bacavet (Ff Tt WAG Th GON SYES- ou WoULDNT LIKE U, 8, Pat. oft. SuRE 1 wit - AN’ ‘HatS sumP'N YO ‘ BAVERX & Some Diplomat! AN “ GAY NEVER AGAIN WouLD AT SOUND nice t PF MARY WANTS “To PLAY FooT BALL. WITH PS Topay- Ste'L. Phay- US FELLAS WAHT FINE ® We wuz Te KHOW I You'el | AFRAD You Wu And bootleggers and handsome cops. | Ss Posen Hea | | Mem wort Ler eR? , poornarnreernaerarae tae lost In the rough. Lodge hung on to Senato stool by shaggy width of his eyebrows. Volstead got magnificent LET MARY PLay ICE-CREAM ARTHUR'S LOVE. FOOTBALL Topay- ee nacommeree {iete-Do not confuse thie story with “gluon Called Peter.") “Meow!” A cat was heard on the street ear, Auna Crackerjack! looked at the fat man with suspicion. Could * it be that he was wearing a falso stomach with a cat in it? “Meow!” ‘The noise again! This time it startled Ock McGiggin, the con- ductor. He had a kitten at home ‘ gnd feared it bad followed him to work. ‘The fat man was not perturbed. He knew that if there was a cat on the car ft would soon appear for some milk. But Anna was apprehensive lest it scratch some of the passengers, “Where {1s that cat?” In this manner McGiggin asked the whereabouts of the feline. A society woman fixed her Ddack hair. “I do not know,” she mur- mured sweetly. The car stopped and a police- man boarded it. “I understand there ts trouble on this car,” he said. “Officer, arrest that man!” Anna pointed at the fat pas- songer. Patrolman Haggerty drew his Sutomatic, but the fat man bowed and smiled at Anna. It was a tense situation. (To be continued.) THIS AND THAT. Mile. Cectle Sorel, the noted French notress, likes America, oh, so much, = she greatly admires jass music “I go back to Paree soon,” she said to us recently, “but I coom again to New York. Bet ces all so grand!” Then we asked her if she liked American jasz. \ “Oui, oul!” came her reply. (‘The frenslation fs “Betcher life!") “Bet ees music typical of American en- egy.” Then came “Au revoir.” (The translation ts “Bee you again!") A columnist who writes of self- Mmvented characters must be careful how he trents them, or the public ‘wl protest. The other day we wrote Bf Jeff Nutt, forgetaneg co indicate his Reed for the customary $11. Our » @arelessness brought four letters, all Qsking why. Some day we intend to ‘have Jeff get that $11, if some reader gail tell us how to have him spend it. ind, speaking of Jeff Nutt, the fol- vote of confidence that changes his address for next two fiscal years, Al- together, 1t was tough cyclone for boys with Republican toupees, The worm didn't turn, It did a somer- sault, Harding has called spectal session of Congress for lame ducks to tune up on swan song.: But after March 4, Old Guard ts going to look like spare part. Reasons G. O, P. means Going Out of Power are simplo and near between, Taxpayers discovered its work with solid ivory tusks, Re- pub statesmen were too busy with problems of Near Hast to bother with Near Future. That's why Congress- men that went home to mend political fences got the gato instead, EPUB Party was all right while voters were hypnotized. So was ‘Trilby some song thrush till Svengali lout combination of his trick eyes. That explains recent political flipflop. It was so loaded with Democratic suo- cess that even Bryan's brother got elected Governor of Nebraska by sim- ply proving he wasn't Bill, Only lump of sugar in Republican dish is that Manuel Herrick ain't coming back. Manny was beauty contest expert that put Oklahoma dis- trict on cubist map, And there's one more speck of happiness for returning M. C.'s, There'll be no women in next Congress, »0 Congressers can coming from Bogash, 0., and we Intend to run up to New London and eee If she’s not kin to Law. While there she'll hold a public wing and render ‘Send Dudley to the Chair,’ to boost your fight for the Presidency. She's taking her guitar along, but it needs eome wack to-day, causing him allow a ohew of tobacco, Muoh exoltement, but could learm nothing! —Jeff.” AND NOW PERMIT US To notify you that I. M. Sporty deals in women's silk stockings over in Philadelphia, GOOD STORIES SENSIBLE WOMAN, HE celebrated London practi-~ I tioner Dr. Abernethy, of whom po many stories are told, used to say that he only once encountered that G, O, P, elephant did most of | ALL RIGHT? ARO YOU ARRESTE "ME — “REMEMBER > . ~~ WELL THEYVE. JUST” FOUN! 1 WAS INNOCENT! {wo VAIL =~ AN: INNQCE) & y aay A rae Mg “ pra 4 HT Was Ae 1S YOUR Boss IN, KATInKAa? IT'S COLD OUT AN T THANKS, OLD MAN- ru TAKe Goop HiS OVERCOATS ¢ Sure t Hes Two WEEKS IN THE AND | DIDN'T _/ ANYTHING { WELL ~WHAT = (can t 00? \ Goin’ TS Ler WELL ,NOW~AHEM— DON'T YOU THINK | ShouULD BE PERMITTED Td vA SMALL CRIME FREE 3° -== OF CHARGE ? Ken Kline Abernethy-—Dog? Interior of a hop, ‘od Temiule—No, another lydy! | man who was testifying in a burslary]}and went to the head of the staire- a -d his perspiring face and “Sewing note trom him {s just in: a really sensible woman, with whom Patient—-Cat. chemist and buttered temalo cus Gl Herald vane. that a burglar was at the foot of the pened Ue BN so truth? Rae - he had the following consultation r As all the original » £ the} tomer . iar “Do 1 understand you to say,"’|stalrs and you did not seo him? Are}. ¢ whole ; “Dear Dud—i and the wife no- THE WHOLE TRUTH on that Bone R. Law has been | Sorting an Injured hand worldiare.eaid fo'numbor thres, this} Chemist (to MAN MAPRS or t ngrily questioned the Judge, "that] you blind? “Well,” slowly replied the to ing in New Li Abernethy—Brui may have beep tho original of Mill] is covered with } and I | Mich. district} When you heard @ noise you quickly] ‘Judge, must 1 tell (Ry exact] +my wifo was in front of me. oo wife was a Bone, Patient—Bity, May's celebrated cartoon showing the] —The cat, I suppo tional Republican, ok « corlula murried! got out of bed, “T on the lghtitrath?” asked the witness ae he