The evening world. Newspaper, November 15, 1922, Page 24

| } \ | | | | Is Good & [Evening By Bide Dudley \ 11FN blondes came in she changed her hair To be in style, and when She changed it back again thing,” She changed her own to red And when pale faces were the style, Once more she forged ahead Of course, the men saw how she switched, And maybe they're to blame, For, tho’ she'd change ‘most . anything, ARRIED duo start life like # She couldn't change her name. couple of doves and polish off ae ape ea romance with wife mistaking hubby OBSERVATIONS. for clay pigeon. And District Attorney has no more chance of ‘We saw a man at the Horse Show Yesterday actually looking at a horse. Babe Ruth says he'll never drink ‘gain, But how could he drink in Prohibition America? Since they won't let Siki fight any pugilists he'll probably go back to fighting booze. ‘The Telegraphers’ Aid Society will hold a'ball at Palm Garden to-night. No tickets will be sold on tick. In New York the horse-drawn fire wagon is a thing of the past. The horses are things of the pasture. Mrs. Lemuel K. Scoots of Wells- Ville has‘written @ song called “Papa, Yon Wire Cross With Mamma,” and will sing it at the meeting of the y Bee Club Saturday. HIGHWAY RHYMES. In. Wal! Street once I took a walk, To sev the rich men—hear them talk. The most of them, it seemed to me, Were in a ten-cent lunch, by gee! KIDDING LIT, Lit Bird has accepted the posi- tion of cashier in the new City Bank. He may now be referred to as a Bird in a gilded cage.— ; Bogash (0.) Bone-Dry News. ., Ice-Cream Arthur’s Love. Anna hailed a street car. It _ Seemed the best thing to do, gince there was a crowd gath- ering. The car stopped and she hastily climbed aboard. [> “Fare!” said the conductor. His name was Ock McGiggin Qnd his father owned @ race- horse. | “I'm sorry,” said Anna, “but I have no money with me. Give me your name and address and || Wl send you a copy of Hamir i Punjab's poems of ‘The Fiji Is!- ands.” . McGiggin was astounded. He @id not want a book. He had _ Bead oue once and suffered from Bntipathy for three months. But _ the girl was pretty. McGiggin | winked ot her. y “Hoochie koochie!” he said. '. This was not what Anna ex- ected. Why should street @ar conductor say “Hoochie | koochie” to a Crackerjacki? It seen.ed so insipid. “Oh, go slap a toad!” she said, Bpeaxi.., Larebly. Motiggin buttoned up his foat. his vest was already but- toned “I love you,” he said. A fly Hit on his nese. Anna quickly drew her auto- matic. Tragedy was in the air. It all seemed so absurd. (To Be Continued.) Harvey Speaks Right Up. Harvey Phillips is the treasurer at Last the Times Square Theatre. might an English woman appeared @t the box office and bought two|”™ tlekets tor “The Fool.” When she| ot sullty, yoh Honah!” replied was charged the war tax she frown-|‘h® Negro. “Ah wouldn't steal no oe. coftee. Ah doan’ like coffee, Tea's “te shame for you to charge |™2 drenk. Yes, sab, tea's ma drenk war tax on tickets, when the war is|45 ever drenks coffee “Then why didn’t you steal tea?” _ er,” she said. Harvey saw his chance. “We wouldn't have to, lady,” he ald, “if you English would pey us | what you owe us.” Later he admitted he was angered ever the Fortesque matter. I None Available. “Johnson,” said a Judge out in Kansas one time to a Negro pris- ner, “you are accused of stealing & " id . The brunette gitl was all the rage, When rosy cheeks were “quite the By Neal O’Hara Jail Em | Copyright, 1 w York Evening World), by Press Publishing Company MONG inalienable rights of hat- pin sex is that of trial by jury And clamping wren in steel bou- doir via jury route is one of nature's miracles. That's what's all the shoot- ing’s for. No matter how many citi- zens jane picks off with gatling shooter, jury drags In verdict of NOT- GUILTY-BUT-DON'T-DO-IT-AGAIN Things have shifted plenty since Barbara Freitchie’s day. You don't catch modern dame rearing her coif- fure for a target. If there is:any co-| educational shooting to be done some guy is on receiving end and [Exhibit No. 44 is in hands of some flapper. shutting her behind steel work than peroxide salesman of grabbing orders in Sweden. Cn theory that ounce of lead is worth a ton of rolling pins, any chick can bump off lawful wedded spouse and take immunity bath in own crocodile tears. Any jury will trot in with 12 to 0 score in favor of self-made widow. FORMULA for quittal is what every woman knows. She slips complete recipe to lawyer for defense and trial is on {n a cloud of talcum Sweet defendant strikes pose on witness throne and submits to cross-examination so long as District Attorney is not too cross. Then stentorian orator for defense shoots the works in tremolo plea. lattice has powder. «(A ENTLEMEN of jury,” pipes legal monologist, “would you put this Httle woman on a diet of Fed- eral prunes? Gentlemen, would you put @ ball and chain around those dainty ankles? I can hear you mur- mur nic! “Jury, look upon this prisongr—no, no, a little higher, so you can see her face! Look in those eyes, I ask you— one at a tims, gentlemen. Do you see murder in those orbs? Do you see anything but belladonna? Look at that perfect nose! Could that nose, with its delicate refinement, ever have stood the scent of powder?—that is, I mean gun powder. Common sense tells us no! 66] OOK at those slim fingers, gen- tlemen. Would they deign to caress aught but a mother of pearl or @ platinum-inlaid revolver? Yet the facts show the crime was committed with a nickel-plated gun. Now look at those shapely—well, anyway, her children are waiting for those calves to come home! “How can you think of sending this little widow over the river? Why, she has admitted herself she’s afraid of mice, and the State Prison is full of rate! Have a heart, gentlemen. This woman can’t go to jail for ife— she left a sinkful of dishes at home. Imagine her in prison garb! Can veu expect @ child-wife like her to wear a striped suit in a season when Paris decrees polka dots? No! “ ND as for hanging, as the Dis- trict Attorney suggests, wiy, if this little lady needs a neckplece this winter, surely you gents wouldn't vote to give her one that was made of hemp! Gaze on the graceful con- tour of my cllent—and figures do not Ne. She ts dainty, but NOT GUILTY. “Gentlemen, the Declaration of In- dependence states every woman is entitled to life, Iberty and pursuit of happiness, and all she asks of you 1s the first two. Think of it—only 66 per cent. of what she's entitled to! Prisoner, ogle to jury. Jury, look on the prisoner. Now bring tn a verdict of Not Guilty and don't b about it.'’ And the jury does as directed, all night cask of coffee from the platform of the freight depot. guilty?” Guilty or not asked the Judge harshly “Well, Jedge, dey wusn't no tea there,” replied the Negro. AND NOW PERMIT US To say we heard a ruralist, stand- ing in City Hall Pa gazing at the Woolworth Building terday, re mark to his son: “Guess you'll have to look half way up, Bill, an 5 the rest.” i ial Start the Day With a Laugh, (Try and | WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 15, 1922 JOE’S CAR ‘Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. Off. “TEU US ABOUT YOUR NEw CAR JOE - How Do Y'LIKE IT So FAR ? Now “tant SHE'S Gor IT 1 DISCOVER. “To MY HORROR. “RAT tt's Ty Best CAR WE EVER. HAD ~—'BUT GosH, T DON'T DARE ADMIT IT TS HER FoR FEAR OF GETTING TH’ HA —HA!! Tua's RIGHT — LAUGH th J MY WIFE PICKED OUT “Wat CAR ON ACCOUNT OF “THE NICKEL “TeIMMINGS AND BLU& WHEELS — | pyt uP A TERRIBLE HOWL ABOUT (T= pee Wo IN “Ty sipe — WHATTA Y'MEAN MY CAR ? TONLY PAID FoR it! — tHe biG LITLE rAMILY WELL- MY WIFE KEPT A HOUSE HOLD “ACCOUNT FoR A MONTA—ONE NIGHT © SAT DOWN AND IN LESS “HAN! AN HoUR-FOUND OUT HOW MUCH WE OWED “THE q@roceR! Hm-m! Your REFERENCES SEEM To BE or -6uT LL ME More ABOUT WouRseLf! AN’ Exper’ ACCOUNTANT Aine Rott Care =} Do Your sturr! PEE MY MARY $ WHAT ARE HE CALLED You BEATING Y\ OswaALd BAD UP Bosse NAMES - For 2 7 = MixuPS — es TEAR THE PAPER sory No one as READ IT “HELEN CAVITE. Werwedstee AV PrrTsnuee, ee 16 THERE & ANYTHING On THE Tannese You WANT Wer Beactt cor 4nd GERAD 'T--caniisen Rare} HAy! UNion FP Beeonuya. ———_ YA WILL caLL OSWALD NAMES ¢ WILL YA 2 Wiere Dd YA FIND THA WILLIE Boy ?? AB CALLED Oswald WHAT I CALLED Hime 107 ALMOYHev08 AY PEORIA ~ MORQY UP AND TAVE Youre TMs - HaLede WeaudeoT — ASrOmAS FL PINT The Dat All YOu Bease wird YOuR Besr Deess on. “AAUD wbiaT: ATLANTA -Ga (ooh dail lit Tare Ace OAT Twa ar ow THe nose wiey 5 Tuer wawieo st = ZA « SAesa GLUCK MAN = Bobby Makes an Impression—but Not on Fritzi! AH THERE'S. FRITZ] IN HER UNIFoRMS NOW FOR THE TesT! ILL THROW A. BRICK “THROUGH THIS WINDOW AND IF SHE REALLY LOVES ME SHE'LL YWILL SLUG ME Wid A BRICK WILL YA | IF Y‘DON'T GIT DIVG FOR DIS IT WON'T BE MY FAULT ¢ HERE SHE comes! Now FoR 1T 't LARRY WHITTINGTON - She’s on the “Outs” With Her Boss! TKNOWIT—— BUTT, Y'SILLY FOOL-}.| JUsT RUINED THE WEEKS Your Boss | (WASH An’ He PuT HE ouT! 5 ae mat 3 ik E Cont. 1922 (N.Y. Eve, W: KATINKA TS. mM fe) 7 mf = H{ IT's A WONT tine con ARE I a , TLL GET You IN, OLD GAL~) Bl peore Uncen : sce || LEAVE HER A KEY i WHEN THEY Go ouT! LUCKY THis sipe WINDOW |S OPEN ! YOU SITTING ON SusT WAIT Were HENRY CAUGHT NAPPING, LACING the “I have an odd record here, Henry and I want te talking machine on|What it is.” brows and tried to iden y the sounds. s| ‘It's a buzz saw ploughin “Hardly.” yelp, “but as a last guess I'll say it ‘a a rec the other the library table, Mrs. Ravenyelp| When 4 weird t ey rimly, Mrs. Ra nyelp, ‘to prove to you that said to her husband: PemNn /40_98eM : n sho ad in the negative it will save alreally do snore in your sleep and to a instrument Ravenyelp knitted A slide trom in full “Give it up,” finally said Raveg-|lot of argument in the future let you know just how But what is it?’ insisted Raven- | sounds.’'—Youngstown Telegrams. 4 I made tn your t night," replied M