The evening world. Newspaper, November 11, 1922, Page 12

| ~_— = ®% Good & Evening By Bide Dudley | Copyright, 1922 (New York Evening World), by Preas Publishing Company Restaurant Musings. ’M sitting here alone to-night, And dreaming of a girl Whose hair was as a mass of gold— Whose teeth were as of pearl, ‘And there! —those teeth have F made me wish That she were by my side, Perhaps they'd bite this steak for me, I’ve failed each time I've tried Her smile was really honey-sweet, A thought comes to my mind, Were she but jere | might not need The sugar | can’t find. My coffee, with a grin from her, I’m sure would be just right; Now, isn’t that a pretty thought— A dream of pure delight? Her lovely nose was slightly pugeed, Which makes me wonder now If | could eat a hot-dog here With all this other chow. But there, dear reader, I’d best stop Or soon you'll want to fight; “Good Evening,” were it all like this, Would night!” spell for me “Good OBSERVATIONS. Dr. Charles F. Pabst says rouge 18 all right. Not so bad as It's paint~ ed,eh? ° High house rent drives Brooklyn minister from his jab. Ought to re- duce the pastorate. John Hopper says: “Although her mame's Talley, her singing isn’t a bass bawl.” Raus mitt Johan! Jewelry salesman left $10,000 worth of gems in auto in Hoboken, Whatcha think happened? That's right! Whenever man begins with “Broad- way ain't what it was when I hit New York,” he's getting old. Gov. Miller asks all New York people to offer thanks Nov. 30 for blessings received this year. He's a game guy, all ~ight. Highway Rhymes. I walk along Fifth Avenue, Where styles have busted me and you, I ace the woman as she buys, And with the husband sympathize. ICE-CREAM ARTHUR’S LOVE. The chef of cource, did not stop long in the Elite Cafe's kitchen after the rat ran up his leg. He decided to go away from there. Anna Crackerjacki, the new waitress, had not seen the rat; therefore she did not under- stand why Chef O'Brien dived through the door. “There he goes!” said a bus boy. “Yes, I suppose 80,” replied the the poor girl, languidly. “But I must get my order of pork chops. It’s for a gentleman friend.” The bus boy frowned. handed her the chops. “Anna, I love you,” he sald. Anna hit him with the left pork chop, thus spoiling the order. “Oh, you!” she ejaculated. It all seemed so absurd. (To Be Continued.) He Just Help Yourself. “Dear Sir,” writes J. F. H., “I see ® play by Anita Loos and John Em- erson, called ‘The Whole Town's Talking,’ is to be produced soon Having read your ‘Mayor of Delhi’ stories, it seems to me the play’s tag- Mne should be ‘There {s much indig- mation,’ as that line should have ad vertising value too. I note also that @ new candy has been called ‘Oh, Henry,’ a title you originated for your late lamented farce, which Played the Fulton Theatre in 1920. You seem to be a good fellow, so I'd Mke to make a touch. I have a new @ott on my farm near Albany and it Meeds a name. Incidentally, it is a mMan-child. The colt is to be a trot- ter and wil! need all the advertising I can appropriate for it. What ts there in your writings I might take? Cree JUSTICE TAFT, revisiting ie be: LO % Laughs EVASIVE MIND. 66] OOKY YUR, GAP!" Indig- if nantly cried Mrs. Johnson “I've been trying to get a sensible answer out of you for right smart of a while, and all you say is ‘Huh?’ What's the matter with you, anyhow? Hain't you got no sense?" “Not a-—p'tu!— durn bit!"’ replied Gap Johnson of Rumpus Ridge “I've been trying for three or four houra to figger out a right good name for that there new dog of mine, and kain't think of a thing."’—Kansas City Star. START IN LIFE. Cincinnati, his boyhood home, said at a dinner party: “It 1s strange, but the Cincinnati lads who have got on best were all pretty objectionable—too selfish and pushing, you know. “One of these boys—he's a rail- road President to-day—applied for a Job in a wholesale drygoods house. “We advertised,"’ said the boss, “for a strong and pushing boy. Are you strong and pushing?” “You bet you Lam, Boss, the way I come to git in here first this mornin’ was that T licked everv cne of the twenty-four other boys wot was ahead of me.''’—Los Angeles Times. THE READY WITNESS. N eyewitness to a crime, testi- A fying at the trial, on being asked how far he stood from where the deed was doffe, answered Promptly “Sixty - three feet seven inches."* “But how,” gasped the aston- ished at tor ney, “how you pretena such a “Why,"" replied the unperturbed witness, ‘'I thought some darn fool would asi me that question, so I measured it."'—E) ody's Magazine. can to CAUSE FOR EXCITEMENT. PAWNBROKER'S shop was on x fire and a woman spectator was greatly excited, Every few minutes she would urge the firemen to more strenuous efforts, until presently a bystander sald: "What's the matter, There's no one in there. all the fuss about 8? There ain't no fuss at pres- ent," replied the woman, “but there will be If they don’t get the fire out soon. My old man’s fail suit ts in hock there and he don’t know it.''—Boston Transcript. Missus? THE CRUCIAL QUESTION, PARTY of hunters in Florida VN had with them an old Negro cook who boasted the name of During their stay in the Everglades a huge wildcat, or pan- ther, as they are more commonly called, managed | to get into camp ML one afternoon, and Walter, being the first in, had the benefit of meeting Walter. ter, after a con- siderable hunt, he was found cowering in a tree and after some persuasion was induced to return to camp. Chiding him on his fear, one of the hunters said: ‘Walter, don't you know that a wildcat will not molest you unless he is cornered?" “Yas, suh, boss, yas, suh, but who gwine to be de judge about when he is cornered—him or me?"'—Judge HUBBY CORROBORATED. 66 JAMES,” cried Mrs, Timmid, sit J ting up in bed, “there ar burglars downstairs! "* Mr. Timmid, wishing to quiet her fears, replied: “Oh, no, dear."" “I'm sure there are,"’ insisted Mrs. Timmid. “Well, I'm sure there aren't.” “James, I tell you there are!'* “T tell you there isn't a burglar downstairs!"* “Your husband is right, mum," interposed a low-browed who thrust hiv this juncture; ‘we're Port!and Oregonian. individual head into the room at upstairs."" How about Nutt'?”" Just help yourself, J. F. H., but don't take Jeff. He's copyrighted, and we cannot afford to part with him. Incidentally, — of ‘Jefferson Shrewsbury ¢ | JOE’S CAR r ACTING Live Foo. - Me y's No use & : THE BIG LITTLE FAMILY AND WHAT Dib YouR WIFE GIVE You FoR WouR BIRTHDAY P A Box F ME ChARBING MY HEAD! f OFF OVER “Tw? CAR! ey eis 5 ©} ( ray _— OF CIGARS 's | WHOSE. THAT 1F You SIET 17 ) DOWN.TO BRASS “TACs 1'm A BIT OFA | © | ATURDAY, NOVEMBER 11, a | \ REFUSING JUST BECAISE GET Some STP) - | TY MAY As wet Copr. 1922 (N. Y. Eve. World: By Press t ub. Co. ‘Trade Mark Reg. U. @. Pat. oft. Gi) RPT IN NT ENJoy tT! ILL vet Ti! poor THING ." \ WANTED To fe Go OTHER “MAKE tS KNow i've RELENTED! we've Got tT AN! ——— Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. Off OBOY! I S Pose Give 'EM “To | YoULL Give ‘EM To THE SANITOR ~ TH’ DANITOR RIDE wit you! The Evening World Comic Relenting Isn’t Riding ! BEE! ~OU Bee! FoR .A SAY! LiSSsEN SAKE — I DID “THAT LAST YEAR i Tie seats are. “Taxen! SO Giad vou FEBe “THAT WAY — BUT ALL AN' we GoT BuM SERVICE ALL WINTER £° LITTLE MARY MIXUP Trade Mark Reg. U S « THAT vex UW) \ maRye wHaT s ALL RACKET i IN THERE ? S. Pat. Off, WE RE PLAYIN ScHOol? /) Taat Does nr | CLs Look much Lime sScHoot Tore Meas = { i ) It’s a Swell Game! PLAYIN’ 4 < ee Wert. We'ee = | ; SATURDAY \ Gy) FRITZ RITZ | Fron THE Love O'PETE. | COME QUICK ! THERE'S A BUNCH OF WOMEN FIGHTING IN Noe. KATINKA Office r Call a Policeman! = ri SAY! THis TAKIN’ You OUT STUFF 1S GETTIN’ MY GOAT GROGGY ! SO FAR THis WEEK I've BEEN OUT FouR NIGHTS AN’ SK DOLLAL —— hese Se You'lt BE OUT A HANDFUL OF HAIR IF Y'DON'T TAKE ME To THAT PicTuRE THEY'RE HAVING A GREAT THRILLER To: NIGHT —— SIM SIMPLETON” IN THE MAN WHO<— > \ ‘ I SPOSE ITS ABOUT A GOLF PLAYER us| it THATS RIGHT Miss! SEE IF You CAN DO ANYTHING WITH LL-TAKE THESE SIX PAIRS! © | TWENTY YEARS — MARRIED BUT HE AFTE L LOVES HIS WIFE, AND} Te nity gas YEARS ? h sit, { : Cm & i gies UT A BEAUTIFUL ACTRESS WHO) To VAMP A MAN AWAY FROM HIS WIFE R 1 PLAYS Delhi” is copyrighted, and so 1s “Oh, Henry.” However, that, perlod comma, that's We Wonder! The but we'd never held a thing in t:¢ ner, pastor of Chelsea Methodist | arrived Episcopal Church, reached us a mo- ment ago. doctor married But now we're wondering if we shouldn't make a face at hir The note concludes us.) “Why don't you come to ch once in a while and see how you A note from Dr. Christian F, Rels-| world against him until this note@in a changed atmosphere? | ANSWERS TO INQUIRIES. Editor Garden wear?—K. M length. Ope @4e: Why did the drys keep gych a What sort of silk stockings | ~ close watch on the recent election? Mamie. ause of the voting booths. Bec AND NOW PERMIT US To say we saw a man driving Wow! LET'S Go! | I LOVE MYSTERY | 1922 11H Y Eve World) By Preas Pub Co. an auto in Wi Avenue painted is the wo: the market. I pa $2,800 for, but would not gi $10 for another like it,” cently on whict white letter machine «