The evening world. Newspaper, October 23, 1922, Page 24

MONDAY, OCTOBER 23, 1922 By BIDE play Othello on the stage some day; That he will make a hit, he’s John Emerson calls his new play “The Whole Town Is Talkins.” Wonder if he ever met “The Mayor of Delhi!” If Centre had possessed foresight enough to play only the second half of the game Harvard would fave lost. There is no doubt Prohibition has made New York dry. Only five stills were found in one Bronx house Sat- urday. Mrs. Copeland is campaigning with the Doc to prepare his meals for him. Bet she hasn't ordered any crow! 5 A Middletown (0.) man has writ ten Santa Claus for a ton of coal. Evidently wants the old boy to blow the whole roll on him. The fact that a Protestant ano a Jew won the two best prizes in the ‘American History Contest. of tie eb hs ane te it were—snd we Knights of Columbus speaks vol-|™OO°*UY : umes for the fairness of the compe-| There are times when life looks tition. ICE CREAM ARTHUR'S LOVE. (Martha, Martha! Whither thou goest my love will foller.—Botts.) Anna Crackerjacki was prettiest girl in Goofville and, as a result, was much sought after by the men. If she went into a store all the male clerks would rush to her, hoping to wait on her, This would occur whether they were married or not. And if she received a $1 bill in change she frequently would find, “I love you” written on it. Once she went to a store for some stockings. To the clerks who gathered around her she said: “Let me see your hose!” Every one of the eighteen pulled his pants up to his knees. The proprietor, however, thought she wanted some hose of the garden variety. He took her into the hardware department and Good Evening ! Jack Johnson says he means to Not a thing on earth looka cheery And he doesn’t want to smile, But he goes on like a soldier And he stays right in the race, Till a column that can mould you Looms right yp before his face When a hard day's grind is ended And, in luck, you find a spot If you want to feel quite mended And contented with your lot, DUDLEY f NEWS KNICK-KNACKS Hoboes’ convention starts, Colum- bus, O., Oct. 28 Hoboken couldn't offer sufficient sure, GosH - (M GETTIN é i ; box-car accommodations. : As Mistah Shakespeah’s cullud] “path, me. wants 1923 meeting, but To BE A REG'LAR Moor. name will defeat it. Tee Some hits there'd likely be, and] Delegates won't all be men yet Twenty bummesses expected i may be Jack will use a net. Warmers near Columbus ready to a , rent rooms in hay-stacks, If so, the net may spell bad) Wives of farmers owning bull- luck— dogs arranging to make crazy-quilts He'll lose so much good garden| out of seats of pants truck. Raflroads to put more cars on es freight trains. Will use 4,000 bum- OBSERVATIONS. hedshdica rt George Mintzer, New York bo, candidate for Hobohemia Poet Lau- reate. Harry Kemp please write. May amend constitution admitting to membership any auto driver who makes practice of having hand-out. Jefferson Shtewsbury Nutt, to re- port convention for this column, is letting whiskers grow as disguise. She wanted to see the greased Pig contest. Crime seemed in the alr (To Be Continued.) We Break a Rule. Never before in all our life have we printed a line about ourself in a column conducted by us, but we're going to depart from that rule to- day. Ralph Abr of No. 247 Bast 176th Street has sent us a rhyme. dreary, And it hardly seems worth while, When a fellow has to struggle hard to grin, As it seems he hasn't got a chance to win. Tho he doesn't gain a foot—not one small inch— And it brightens him until he needn't flinch. Where there's no one standing in a subway car, Read your Uncle Dudley's stuf— and there you are! JOE’S CAR 43 GEEWHILLIKERS , ANOTHER Cow! You'D THINK “He GREENEST GRass GREW IN TH’ MIDDLE OF "he ROAD! You'Lt HAFTA GET OUT AN' SHOO HER OFF THE STRACK , JOE! GWAN - B88AT —AND DONT FORGET “O FeED THe BIRD AND CAT AND WATER, MY PLANTS ~ ET - HuRRy ! Her TICKETS — DAWGONE THAT WIFE OF MINE OUGHTA BEEN AN ARAB—ALL SHE THINKS OF 1S “TRAVEL ANT MONEY: fo BAW e pan MY Mom wy OM Wont | ayo LET ME Go [ Ir Ler voue TH | P OFFA OUR CH? “THE movtes \ pone See MAYBE OF we CRY REAL Loud OvR Moms ‘LL LET US DO / WHAT WE WANT Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. Off. BOOOH ! wun! LOOKS LIKE YOURE GONNA GET “THERE IN PLENTY OF TIME ~O BE “Wo Late! COME. ON Joe — GWE HER “Hy! RAzz! \t nt 22 Yi Eye, World) By Press Pub. Co What Else Is There to Wire For ! 600N AS OU ARRive You MUST wire met |, CANT HEAR jYals ee Ce tried to kiss her. Then and there she decided she would never visit another department store, being so pretty. When the Squeewee Coiniy Fair was scheduled, both Arthur Wow and Bonehead Brewstcr asked ‘her to go. This started the feud between them. “I like them both middling well,” she told Mayor Til Bingle, “but neither is very austere.” The Mayor thought this sound- ed like a come-on.- Looking around to see that none of his fellow church members was near, he sald: “Anna, you're a very p:etty airl.” A shot rang out. Tho Mayor Grabbed his hat and ran down the street, Bonehead Brewster stuck his head up over the Speaking Our Mind. A reader criticises us for using the term “spiritualistic bunk” in this column recently. His note moves us to make these few remarks: There is nothing unreal in the world. No departed spirit ever re- turned and none ever will. Rap- ping, table-tipping and other such alleged spirit demonstrations are bunk, pure and simple, and we'll bet Harry Houdini can duplicate eny of them on two hours’ notice. Can you imagine your dead mother rapping on the wall or making a tablo tip at the behest of some “medium?” Why should she? If you make spiritual- ism a hope, all well and good, as hope of any kind brings comfort; but when you profess that you have seen evidences of the return of spir- ite, look out—somebody will sall you AS I PASSED THE PLATE JUST Now T SAW A UTTLE BOY WHO W DIDN'T PUT IN HIS I KNOW WIS MOTHER AND DOESN'T MARCH RIGHT UP HERE AND PUT IT IN THE PLATE ILL TELL HER ALL ABOUT (T! \F HE OW SHE'S "TEACHING A GLASS: AT“ SUNDAY SCHOOL! AINST THAT oe ice some mining stock. — . " eet pa ‘i ry, pre morning, dear!" he AND NOW PERMIT US . rn Ry WHI é NGYO A man and a woman were seen in the distance. Two days later their bodlos were found on the old farm. Anna went to the fair alone. to suggest that if you want, to see everything in the Fron- tler Show at the Garden next month, you'd better get a seat on the front tler, KATINKA FERDIE WILL NEVER GET ELECTED! He's SUPPOSED To MAKE A SPEECH ON THE Ae JUST USSEN Te TH Avs“ |CRowd CHEERING YOUR OPPONENT'S ADORES Hm! Wart THEM — The Kid Has Quite an Understanding! BUT You DON'T KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT A POLITICAL SPEECH! WHY, You WHAT Does SHE THINK LVE BEEN TLL MAKE Hi SOUND Sick! } ee HAVEN'T EVEN GOT A 5 PLATFORM! 5 Knowl WHAT To SAY. EVERY OFFICE SEEKER REFORMS Td PROMISE THE ge \ PEOPLE, BUT THAT { Foot HASN'T A THING 7 IN HIND f About Plays and Players | STREET CORNER TONIGHT AN’ DON'T EVEN | 2 SPEECH ! SAVING THIS THING ALL SUMMER ? le (ae % | NEW musical play by Zelda A Sears, with music by Harold Levey, has been accepted by Henry W. Savage, Inc., for early production. Peggy Wood will be the Star. Miss Sears and Mr. Levey wrote “Lady Billy,” for Mitzi and have contracted to write Mitzi’s next Vehicle. Ritz Theatre to-night he will discover his name has been added to the elec tric sign as a featured player, with Lola Fisher and Alfred Lunt in “Banco.” The name goes up as the result of a conspiracy between Miss Fisher, Mr. Lunt and William Harris jr., the producer of the play. They all thought Mr. Byrne deserved such recognition and they fixed up a little surprise for him. We'd appreciate it “MERTON” AT THE CORT. “Merton of the Movies” will suc-|!f Mr. Byrne would kindly refrain ceed “Captain Applejack" at the Cort |ffom reading this item. We don't ‘Theatre on Monday evening, Nov. 13. want to spoil the surprise. George 8. Kaufman and Mare Con- — ly are the authors of the new Gossip. edy, which is based on Harry! sam H. Harris hes engaged Mar- Wilson's story. George C. Ty-|garet Lawrence for ' ent Jer and Hugh Ford are the producers and Glenn Hunter heads the cast. Fiorence Nash appears as The Mon- tegue Girl. “The Faithful Heart’ wl be trans-| atl ferred to-day from the Broadhurst to sri = on wim Maxine Elliott's Theatre. have been engaged by Sum Wallach “A Clean Town,” by te Nugents, | for the cast of “It Is the Law." Ken Kling» fF A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. * is to be dramatized states positively that by an American playwright for pro- intellectual, chorus girls are FOOLISHMENT. PUT IT IN THE ACT. _ When Francis Byrne arrives at the HONOR FOR BYRNE. 4 opened at the Garrick Theatie, Wash- ington, last night Hans Robert and Valerie Valarie duction here. Florence Flynn, from ‘The Excit- The lwyns will present Channing ers," hay joined “Partners Aga A note from tha Cus'no, where | Pollock's latest pla » Fool,” at Marie Harvey's English novel, !Sally, Irene and Mary;' is playing, Ithe Times Square Theatre tc-night. Miss Elsie instruction. Hugger ot Ithaca 1 used to court Prunella Brice, Who'd always scream at seeing mice. Yeaches dancing and she gives private} didn’t wed her, for I thought ry many mouse traps must be bought “What are you doing, Johnny? “Openin’ the window.’* “What for?" “To let the dark out.’* B.D.