The evening world. Newspaper, October 12, 1922, Page 28

By BIDE When some fellow wants to rip { you ck, or maybe whip you, et bad temper grip you, Don’t bring hot words into play. Take your time and do some grinning, After while you'll have an inning, And the day you'll soon be win- ning. Simply salve him—that’s the way. Learn to work a pleasant sandy, Have your salve box always handy; Smooth hot air is sure the candy, You can use it every day. When you're up against it, sigh- ing Is resultless—so is crying. You can win though, colors flying, If you salve them—-that’s the way. OBSERVATIONS, Philadelphia needs more police- men. Why not let the mint turn out some coppers? Heary Barlow of Wellsville, who was married yesterday, gave the Preacher a dollar bill and a spotted yellow pup. ‘The Society for the Preventtfon of Cruelty, to Animals, down in Mexico, needed funds recently so it gave a benefit bull fight. As Usual. Taylor Grant's wife threw a rock at a hog Thursday. Same old story -she broke a window in. the house, —Leesville, O., Record. MAMIE AND THE MUDHOLE. {A good love story is a tonic; if from the German Teutonte—Botts). Commissioner Doggie always thought he was happily married, but on the day of the arrival of Prince Soaki of Kansas City, Kan, he changed his mind. While he stood discussing ‘te mudhole in Oriole Avenue with Mamie McTwiggle, the Prince and Jepp Coogan, bis wife, came along. “Well Doggie, what are you doing?” : The Commissioner’s wife had spoken. He cleared his throat in an austere manner. “Oh, go slap a toad,” he re- plied. i Apparently she irked him. However, that is usually ‘ue case with’ husbands and wives and the Dogsies were like all other niarried couples. “Ah, Commissioner, you must be kind.” | The Prince had spoken, Jepp Coogan, . covered with mud, stepped forward and bowed. “Japan once licked Russia,” he said vindictively. Good Evening! THURSDAY, OCTOBER 12, 1922 DUDLEY Judah Levine, may his tribe 1- e, has put in a bid for the copy of the song, “The Washerwoman’s Delight,” offered as the prize in this contest. In addition, he wants a wife and has written a rhyme about this latter peculiar ailment, Look! 1 want a Rose who's tall And who's deliciously stout. To her TU give my all. Come on and help me shout. Clothes she'll get galore, For that's my line alt right. Love, oh, more and more, My little heart's delight. Business is awful, you bet. I'm worried as can be. Sweet woman, help me forget And wed me by the sea. Oh, steamships! The Prince—a Russian—drow himself up to his full height. “Oh, go slap a toad,” he said. Mamie, although she realized the plagarism, just had to laugh. It all seemed so absurd. (To Be Continued.) , DOOLITTLE AND THE BUG. Ellabelle Mae Doolittle, the poe: ess, Saw a bug recently and was in- spired. In her boudoir where all was quiet she wrote the following poem entitled “The Lesson on the Bug:” I was standing on the front porch, In a rather dreamlike mood, When a bug came crawling toward me— Just a buggie, black and cute, “Here,” I said, “is quite a science, @| Let me study thee, kind bug, And I may learn a lesson from thee, As would say my Grandma tcibankadi Then I thought: “This little crawler He was made the same as me, And the earth it is his homestead. Why should I then step on he? Doth the sun not rise for buggie, Aren't the moon part his also? Why then should we great big humans Give the bug no earthly show?” My sister’s child, Teeney Ricketts, Hit Papa with a shoe in anger. Oh, Teeney, you little jiggetts! I shall tell Margaret Sanger. But let's look to the bug for wisdom, He can learn us much in fact. Oh, of course, I don’t mean when he Does the shimmy on thy back. Sunday in Arcadia. Gustave Johnson used to cuss, But his father cured young Gus. This department understands Through the laying on of hands. AND NOW PERMIT US To inform you that a club of opticians gave a dance in Chi- cago the other night and not a single paragrapher referred to it as an eye-ball. HE Kilbourn Gordon interests, which produced ‘The Cat and the Canary," announce that their next venture will be a comedy called ‘*The Gentle Jailer,” by Stuart Benson, formerly editor of Collier's The cast will be headed by William Boyd and Frieda Innescourt. This is the fifth play written by Mr. Ben- son. After reading the other four he stored* them’ away in his trunk. F. P: A. WRITES ONE. A tabloid musical comedy entitled The Love Girl," is the second num- ber announced by the ‘49ers for the Punch and Judy Theatre on Nov. 6 Frankiin P. Adams has written book and lyrics for it, and the music is by Arthur H, Samuels and others, ‘The Love Girl!” Ah, how reminiscent of New Brunswick! “LAST WARNING" TO KLAW Goldreyer and Mindlin have ranged to present “The Last W ing’ at the Klaw Theatre on Oct In the cast are William Courtleigh Charles Trowbridge, Ann Mason Clarence Derwent and Marion Long A BALLET SCHOOL. A balet school, from which danc ers will be recruitea for musical pro- guctions has been established at the Ambasc.idor Theatre, where ‘The heady in Ermiffe” is playing. It ts under the direction of Zita Lockford Ruby Poe and Ann Gordon, solo danc- @rs ip that musical prouction PAID “SHRIEKERS?” NEVER! A leticr signed ‘Wall Street’? has been redelved by Lee Shubert, which accuses managers of mystery plays of Planting “‘shriekers’’ in the audiences ‘who see such dramas. It hints that maybe the Messrs. ae Yall been 4 using them at the performances of “Whispering Wires.” Mr. Shubert says the suggestion is wrong. “We theatrical managers become accustomed to unjust accusations," said he last night, “but this one, to, the effect that we have been using ‘shriekers’ in connection with ‘Whis- bering Wires,’ is the lmit. It is preposterous,"* WOODS READS 'EM, A. H. Woods returned from Europe yesterday. The handsome 42d Street manager blushingly admitted that he had'gone abroad merely to obtain the proper atmosphere for reading about forty plays. Accompanying him home were his other shirt and toothbrush, itting in my office four ."" he said, ‘when I realized I ought to read about forty plays. There was so much noise and confu- sion around, that I decided to take a trip abroad just’to get a chance to read ‘em and weep. I caught the Mauretania and managed to read thirty n plays., How are you, anywa GOSSIP. Maurice Schwartz will produce Tt Inspector General” on Broadway Ned Wayburn has cabled Cle. eau asking him to speak for the tast Relief benefit now being in English Am! has returned from . N. S., where he has been & the title role of “Johannes " new scenes will be added to the ‘Revue Russe'’ at the Booth next Monday evening, making eighteen in all “Cinderella’’ will be presented at the Children’s Theatre Sat - ‘Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. Oft. SAYED- wHtte You RE BOILING TH SPUDS 1% GONNA STROLL OVER HERE AND SFE IF CAN GET ‘A Gott oe WET = FROM “TH LOOK ON HIS FACE 1 CAN SEE HE DON'T “THINK 1! CAN SHOOT ~ “THAT BIRD 5 GOTTA HELP me YAAS . YOU! y'dawconne sieime Do Y'THINK You'RE A CIRCUS CLowN — TRYIN “To SHooT THIS POTATO OUTA MY | HAND? po 1 Look LiKE A GROUSE —??) Do I HAFTA, WEAR A) BUFFALO ROBE so y' won't THINK (> —— \WE Gor FEATHERS re ON ME ? je iT F] RAINS “TONIGHT WS “TeNT ‘LL LEAK LiKE A SIEVE — BRING “THAT CANNON BACK Were AN' put vr away tt AND You STILL FEEL BADLY —ARE SOU “TAKING “THE obo! Me=DICINE eaten) THIS DAWGONE | MALARIA (9 GETTIN worse BY “TH' Minute ¢ Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. Off asia) ek tees THE LADY NexT wer WHaT 4RE Doo® Just YEU ceyine For? T KNow SHE Wood NT SPANKED HER IT WAS HER LITTLE BuT — LET ME WATCH > LITTLE even F Girt sde sPanedD i HER Do Te Yust Awrue @ = ; ( co ate fare aire Siena g s ad ay °-< = Ber - Cope, 1982 (MY. Ren World) By Pree Pub Co TR M- Cernimer ese FRITZI RITZ YES, I GUESS NOW THAT T™ uP HERE T MIGHT AS WELC LEARN How Sounds Logical! Wy \r'S GREAT AFTER YoU KNOW YEl?!- SEE THERE FRIT2I!— TOLD You IT COULDN‘T RIDE THAT DANGED HORSE !1 WHAT Do Y/MEAN GY GIVING MR RITZ THAT WILD HORSE — L TOLD azz WELL D/HORSE WAS NEVER RODE yz V4 Z S Gr® eputation ! This Car Won’t Run on It’s R KATINKA TM ait DRESSED VET, HERMAN COME ON UR aN WAIT For re te Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. Off. So WAT LVL SHRIMP ts Tein’ To VAMP MY GIRL AWAY FROM ME WITH HIS NEW CAR, PL et 6 IF HE CAN TAKE KATINKA FoR A RIDE IN A CAR THAT'S MINUS A MOTOR — THAT Guy's A BETTER MAN THAN I THINK FF GOLLY, THAT'S QUEERS SHE STARTED Att RIGHT Mt gue noon, Oct. 21. Toby, the clown, wil! mustes ersion of Percival Knight's |the most Na-| judge a baby show at Angvlica, N. Y. FOOLISHMENT. PUT IT IN THE ACT. he there, Thin Tee," now at the Comedy onal Va Ar Watch your step, Burnie! 1 maiden both graceful and pretty “Whispering is always banned ip ” ris’: e1 1 8 are EY Aus r Was eating mince pie in Bay Cit Frances Starr will reach her seven William Morris's benefit for the] Hugh Ward h A [ g v y City * ty." ty-fifth performance in “Shore Leave” | Saranac Lake Day Nursery last Sun-] tralian rights to Molly Darling A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. *She ate a whole pie, Lj mea y @ at the Lyceum to-day day night netted about $10,000, R. H. Burnside, Director General of] ‘There is no doubt that the Giants Then said with a sigh: Why? Oscar Straus, composer, isto make| Fred Stone is being acclaimed as't { Hippodrome, has been invited to' won a signal victory over the Yanks.! *‘‘Alas, it’s all gone, what a pity!” “Because it isn’t aloud."’"—B, D, 4