The evening world. Newspaper, September 16, 1922, Page 15

Private Schools May Equip a Boy With Many Refinements, but They Don’t Help Him Much in Busi- ness, ThePartners Conclude - That the Job of Im- proving an Improve- ment Is Not Such an ‘ Easy One. By Montague Glass. ES, Mawruss, people which pay out their good money for taxes ¥o support the public schools and then send their children to private schools y’understand, would try to get even with a railroad company by buying a round-trip ticket and then coming back by another route,” Abe Pot- ash remarked to his partner, Mor- ris Perlmutter, as he laid down the | morning paper after reading the fj educational ad- 3 vertisements. “Maybe they would and maybe they wouldn't,” Morris com- mented. “You see, Abe, there’s lots of things taught in schools besides education, and some par- ents is quite willing to pay a pub- lic school tax and then schenck a THE EVENING WORLD’S BHAPTER XXIII—THIBET. 66] ] 2RE’S ao great H with a name heard,'? “?-H-I-B-E-T, Thibet."* “Ht looks as If it would be a lot of fun too; just see those mountains,"’ said Jamie peering over her shoulder at the map. ‘‘And it’s right next door big country I've never said Alice, LILLY LULA TLL LLLULUL LULU LUELLA LEELA DLL LLL LULU could already hear a pin drop.” same again.” is a private United States.” private school a thousand dollars a year in order that the eldest son shouldn't go through life making noises like soapy water being sucked down the waste pipe of a half-empty bathtub every time he drinks a cup of coffee, y'under- stand.” “And J suppose if he grew up caring more about how coffee tastes than how it sounds, Maw- russ, that would ruin his pros- pects, ain’t it?” Abe observed. “Well, it ain't going to help him none {fhe expects to become a mem- ber of anything but the Coffee Bx- change,’ Morris said, “which the rea- son why so many people has got such loud yolces, Abe, is that whenever they had meals at’ home, y’under- stand, they was obliged to talk above the eating, understand me, but at private schools, Abe, they learn chil- dren to have such wonderful refined CLADE LILLE LULU ECDL POLLA LAE OLEATE KIDDIE K is along, He'll take care of us, I want to go."" And go to Thibet they did. Across the Yangtze in the Good Ship Make- believe, over the mountain passes on foot and across streams in coracles. (The picture shows them crossing a stream.) In the mountains of Thibet Alice te China.” found no knives or forks, no money, “Why, we've only to cross the no houses, no warmth and no wel- Yangtse River and, there we are! come. Let's go!" said Alice The mountaineers of Thibet are no- “That's no place for girls to g0,"" mads, wanderers who pitch their answered Jat “But it would be all black yak hair tents high or low on e and the South Sea Island t¢ Mountainside, accordiag to th right for m be the Pl ea aH ‘ jeaAson. For they must live where boy, and maybe the rate, (0 6° ‘their sheep and yak can find food and Thibet is a wild country, a climate cold enough for them. “I'm not afraid as long as the Pirate Should his yak and sheep die, the \ EDUCATION AND ITS REWARDS ‘cc T private schools they learn children to have such won- - derful refined table manners that when twelve gradu- ates of a first class private school eat soup together you “After all, it don’t do no real harm to a boy’s character if he could be taught to eat an artichoke with Hollandaise sauce so as not to make the front of his tuxedo look like it would never be the “They graduate from a private school into what they believe “How much individual attention will the boy have when he tries to get along in the clothing business or the garment business. “Success and money don’t give—excuse me—a damn what the religion or the race is after the man who wins it, “Any one who has spent four years at a first class private school could chew celery and dried toast in the form of a sandwich and make no more noise over it L WALL THE EVENING WORLD, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 1922, ‘ than if it was so much mush.” table manners that when twelve grad- gawates of a first-class private school eat soup together, you could already hear a pin drop. “Any one who has spent four years at a first class private school, Abe, could chew celery and dried toast in the form of a sandwich, and make no more noise over it than if it would be so much mush, y’understand, and the consequence is, Abey a young feller like that is thoroughly at home tn the highest society and with prima don- nas. He learns in such a private school the proper way to behave as an usher at a fashionable wedding, a pall bearer at a fashionable funeral, a co-respondent at a fashionable di- votoe and everything and anything that has got to do with having a lot of money to spend except how to earn it before he gets its.” “But that's something they don’t teach in public schools neither,” Abe bald. “Sure I know,” Morris agreed, “but the public’ school also don’t teach mountain man finds himself badly off for all that they provide. He will be without clothes, meat and milk, with- out a tent and without trade, Do you wonder he tends his cattle carefully? In the lowlands lite {s somewhat different, Here there are houses— each one a small fortress without windows below the third ory; the natives live on tsamba (a kind of cereal) and “butter tea.” “What very queer houses, why are they built that way?" Alice wanted to know “Because of bandits," was the answer, which sent a thrill down the spines of the travelers. “Are we going to be besieged by banat the wondered, and the South Sea Isiand boy d girl, wh had picked up some Pirate slang, said “S'iver me sides, I not ike bandit!"* “You mustn't say that,” Alice their pupils that they should feel more at home with people that has got money than with people that earns it, y'understand, and that {s all what I object to tn priyate schools, Abe.~ After all, Abe, it don’t do no real harm to a boy's character if he could be taught to eat an arti- choke with Hollandaise sauce so as not to make the front of his tuxedo look like it would never be the same again, y'understand, but it does do his character harm if he gets think- ing that fe is a whole lot better than the man who can't eat an artichoke without giving people the idea that he had just driven up to the restau- rant through a heavy thunder shower of Hollandaise sauce.” “Then your idea is, Mawruss, that ‘ft I would be picking out a private School to send my won to, y’under- stand,’ Abe sald, “I should find one where they would learn nim to pe democratic and eat with his knife, ain't it?” 17’8 COMPETITION IN PUBLIC BCHOOLS. | “Bay! If you had a son, Abe, it wouldn't be necessary to send him to & private school to learn to eat with bis knife,” Morris declared. ‘‘All he would need to do is to stay at home and watch the popper the way he eats.” “Ie that sol" Abe retorted. ‘Well, let me tell you that I ain't eat with my knife in years already. I am getting to be just the same like I would have went four years to a swell private school and I, thank God I don’t eat the same way as poor people instead of thanking God I don't eat the same food as poor people, which that is how the private schools trains their custo- mers’ sons, Mawruss. They gradga- wate from a private school into what ‘ they believe is a private United States, and the first thing you know, Maw- russ, they begin to act like they thought that the Legislatures, the banks, the courts, the army and the Wesley Barry’s Little Chunks of Wisdom. WHAT DO YOU EAT? All of the big docs nowadays give out a lot of free advice on what a boy should eat—which food makes brains, muscle, fet and endur- ance. Wes Barry reads all that they have to say and then dares a pickle and a glass of milk to get together and do their worst to him. ragged that “He ain't skeered of the Oonsequences.'’ bread, cheese, meat and all of the chided éhe girl “That's only for Pirates to say.” “Well I ‘fraid,” said the little brown creature. too poor to be robbed.”* “There's a goat coming out of that house,” laughed Jamie. “He probably lives there,” said the Pirate. This made all the children laugh again. But they soon saw that this was true. Those Thibetians who were fortunate enough to have cattle lived in the upper part of the house while the cattle lived !n the lower section of the same building, This seemed very strange and funny to the children. So did the fact that some men had two wives and some wives had sev- eral husbands, (Though most had only one wife or husband.) There is no really lowland in Thibet; it Is a high, cold country. The city of Batang, which ts one of the low Points, is 9,000 feet abgve the sea, and the mountains measure 20,000 feet to the peaks. The travellers stood high on one of these mountains and looked a hundred miles across the country about. It was very rugged, very wild, very beautiful. Yet in this wild country where men rob and kill each other, and in spite of the primitive life lived tn the mountains and yalleys the most religious—after their The people murmur their prayers, 1 as Alice and Jamie do wher to bed all day 1c every lip and 1 engraved on and w flags that float in the wind even “prayer wheels’ on the streams Thibet is a land of prayer. stones ER SATURDAY. KIDDIE CONTRIBUTIO: navy of their private United States were elso private, and that they con- stitute the membership committee and had charge of giving out the tickets ef admission,” “Then they are making an awful big mistake, Abe,"’ Morris said, ‘‘be- cause #0 far as opportunity goes, Abe, nobody can make the United States a private institution while 'there are a hundred million deadheads trying ‘to rush the gate, y’understand. Also, Abe, private students of private schools ain't trained to deal with pub- lic competition. In fact the only rea- fon why the customers of private schools take their sons out of public schools In a majority of cases ie that they stood at the foot of whole classes of boys who come from homes where if some one would have given them a finger bow! with water in it, y’under- “HE LEARNS IN 8UCH A PRIVATE SCHOOL THE PROPER WAY TO BEHAVE AS CORESPONDENT AT A FASHIONA RD 3 dried apples and then drink plenty of water. If you want brains, eat fish, rice and every kind of cereal. If you want good teeth, eat limes pickled or fresh every day of your life, and be sure to scrub your teeth with a good stiff brush at least night and morning, And— If you want to escape from a night- mare, where great, green dragons with lapping tongues of fire, mon- strous green picklish eyes and nostrils spouting streams of hissing, white steam swoop down upon you and try to destroy you—don’t Make your supper on pickles and milk, P. S.—I've tried It—Wes. KIDDIE KLUB. At my little cousins, I love you, For cousins all are we, We love each other Just like our mother, That is why I tell you this: ‘We must uphold the Kiddie We must not let it fall, And remember this, my Hub, ooustne, That Cousin Hleanor is eur Queen. VIOLA WXNKOOP, age 16. Jersey City. HOW TO JOIN THE KLUB. CUT OUT THIS COUPON, numbers et oot an at fiiese “Goupons, por, World Kié- de ae lo, 68 Park Rene cn Lig Sir you must NAMB, ihe Saetoee ig ia which you live, but up to ‘al chiidren may become i presented “with a wate and membership certificate. COUPON 990. DEAR Ooverns: HERE tan't' one of you but knows Pollykin. I hope, yes, I'm sure there isn't, And to know Pollykin 1s to love her a lot and envy her a little, Because—well, mostly because every one else loves her so, The reason for this is easy to find; Pollykin ts kind. She is kind to old folk and young folk and dumb folk; animals and dolls and books, ind, to be sure, they love her too. And If they don't love you already will if you follow her way ykin loves to sit evenings after hool lessons play paper dolls, “Why don't you make some paper are done and VAAL LE DIVORCE.” @olls for our Coustnst’ she sald to me the other day. “I will if you think they will like them," I answered. Pollykin sald she was sure you would and so—here Is ons, the first Kiddie Klub paper doll, and I've pur- posely made {t look like Pollykin her- self. This paper doll looks ike Pollykin the day we went up in the dusty old attle and rummaged through trunks for old dresses to dress up In And we found this one which belonged to Pollykin's great grandmother, stand, the nearest they would come to ‘using {t property would be to go right out and buy a couple of goldfish, “Take Marks Henochstein, for in- stance,” Morris continued, ‘‘and his boy Eddie stayed in the Fifth Grade so long that Marks begun to think the boy would never learn anything except how to use a safety razor, 80 he put him into a military school near Buffalo somewheres where he ‘would have company in his ignorance, y'understand."’ “Marks told me different," Abe said. “Marks clatmed the classes was 80 big in public school, y‘understand, that Eddie didn’t get the attention he should ought to have in order to get along.”’ “And after Eddie Henochstein leaves the military academy, Abe, how much individual attention will he have when he tries to get along in the clothing business or the garment busi- ness?’ Morris adked. ‘Tt ain‘t indi- vidual attention what boys need in school, Abe. It's competition.’ “Sure it is," Abs agreed, “and yet, Mawruss, I read in the papers where one of the big untveraities is going to Iimit competition in their classes by not letting in everybody who can pass the entrance examinations and pay the annual dues. It seems, Mawruss, that quite a lot of the students couldn't pass examinations and take prizes when they got into competition with certain kinds of other students, and the consequence is, Mawruss, the university decided to sift out most of the students which looked I! they come there to study and not to loaf, y'understand, so that the other stu. dents could have an easier time of it.’’ DEMOCRACY AND BANKRUPTCY, “It seems to me, Abe, that would be the very university for Edie Henoch- stein to go to after he gets thrown out of the military school,” Morris com~- mented. “Well, he might get along better in Pollykin tried tt on. I am not going to tell you how she looked in ft, That ts for you to find out. Paste Pollykin and Pollykin's Standard on thin cardboard and the dress and hat and mittens on heavy, smooth paper. When the paste is dry cut out Pollykin and her clothes and Standard If you do wish Polly stand up you need not use th dard. But if you wish her to stand alone, fold the Standard along the Gotted Mines as indicated and paste ls not kin to Stan ELEANOR the university but, worser tn the out side world,” Abe sald, because the trouble with competition in business oder the professions ie that ft te un- sifted, y'understand, All kinds of men with all kinds of blood im their veins and religions in their minds is trying to make a living in this coun- try, Mawruss, and as Success and Money don't give—exouse me—e damn what the religion or the race of the man is who wins it, y’understand, sooner or later Mawrusa, the private school gradgawate and the gradga- wate of the sifted college is going to run up against somebody he wouldn't have associated with in his private school or college, and before he makes up his mind whether or not he ought to treat him as an equal, yunderstand, it will be all over but the petition in bankruptoy.” “Tt'e already « puzzle to me, Abe, how the educated and refined people in this country go to such a lot of trouble and expense in their attempts to bring back in America all the rot- ten conditions which this country tried to do away with when it broke away from kings and artistocraciss,” Morris observed. “As a matter of fact, Mawruss, I give them college sifters and private school keepers credit for believing that they are improving things by do- ing it," Abe said. _ “But how could any one tmprove on the pudlic school system of this coun- try?’ Morris asked. “It's in human nature to try to im- prove an improvement,” Abe ot- served. “Otherwise nobody would buy a stropping machine for safety razor blades which is supposed to be the latest up to the minute improvement in razors because they don’t need no strapping er honing." “And after all, Abe,” Morris con- cluded, “it's the feller that tries to improve on the improvement which gets the rottenest shave.” Copyright, 1022, by the Bell Syndicate, Inc. CONDUCTED BY SCHORER 2 Z r 4 i rn ° ¥ ¥ < © @ 7 < o | i Fore ow * in the midiile of Poftykiti’'w uct, Paper dolls are protter when they are colored, Pollykim may be colored with either water colors or crayons. Tf you use water colers be careful not to have the brush too wet, If the brush ts very wet the colors willlrun and spoll the effect. Pollykin is, as you know, @ little blond girl with pink cheeks and blue eyes. I am going to leave it to you to choose a her dress. IT am sure that no matter what color you select it will become our Pollykin prettily. color for