The evening world. Newspaper, August 18, 1922, Page 18

pee —— By BIDE The man had fired at the bear, The cartridge was his last; He missed, then threw his gun aside, The bear was coming fast. The man ran to a precipice, » The bear o'ertook him there, But just before the hunter turned, Mnbevdxzxbssazmkihnnfx. The bride walked slowly up the aisle And met the happy groom; Just then a man’s voice, loud and clear, Came ringing through the room. “She shall not be your wife,” it said. A pistol shot then flashed But at this juncture rose a form, Macbsvsxxsbenxxsawxmbmexsa. The court had sentenced him to hang, "Tas said he'd done no wrong. “He bore the crime to shield a friend,” whisp2red throng. He stood there on the trap to die, The rope about his neck, But as the sheriff raised his hand, Mncbsvsxxsbenxxsawxmbmexsa. through the OBSERVATIONS. If John Jacob Astor 2d received $2,000,000, just think what Joun Jacob Ist must have received! John Pepper, of Sag Harbor, ts said to be the oldest seaman allve. Now get this, mob—Pepper is an old salt. Like it? Shbufflin’ Phil has been out many times in his professional career, but not so completely out as he is now. The guests of the Hotel Theresa were driven from that hostelry by fire scare early yesterday mornin.. Bet Judge Sampson Friedlander was a scream in his pajamas. BLACK BART'S GAL tM eet eGleee oF hell tor the. atti 2 joved.) Delos Botts, a wealthy street conductor of Detrdit, had been called West to inspect one of his gin mines. Little did he suspect that on Appendicitis Mountain he would tind an old friend. Therefore he jumped in surprise when, while walking along Skin- mykinook Trail, he heard his name called. “Ob, De-e-e-los!" Turning he was confronted by Nell Nelson. “Hello, Nell!” he said. Then he winked at Mile. Maggte O'Brien, Nell’s French maid. “Hey, you stop that!" yelled Mile. O'Brien. “You're a dirty eld flirt.” Oh, how shocked Nell was! Mile. O'Brien had no business to speak so roughly to this gentle- man. Black Bart appeared at this functure, followed by Reginald. “We have discovered the gold,” said Reginald. , “Society will be so delighted to hear it,” said Nell, coldly. “Don't be thata-way, gal,” ( new season at the Comedy Theatre will be opened on Tues- day evening, Aug. 29, with George Broadhurs' perfectly inno- cent comedy,” “I Will If You Will.” This will be Crane Wilbur's second play of the season to be produced in New York, the other being ‘The Mon- ster,” Crane seems to be coming to the front in large jumps. Where have you been for the last ten years, Crane? THE BUSTED PLAYWRIGHT, “A playwright who didn't have a dollar to his name," said L. Lawrence Weber last night, ‘came to my office with a play recently and asked me to accept it, saying he needed an ad- vance very badly, Just to help him I gave bim $300 id accepted his play. A few days later I received a telephone call. “This is Mr. Blank's secretary,’ wuld 2 man's voice. ‘You accepted his play but you didn't put a produc- tion date in his contract.’ “Which one of his @scretaries is 7 1 asked. ‘His corresponding secretary.’ “ "Well, don't leave your office. I'll greb my hat and run right over to see you.’ “* "Very well, sir!" “And then,” concluded Mr, Weber, “% went up in the Adirondacks on a fishing trip.”’ Wow, HOW HE LAUGHED! Bobby O'Neill of “Sue, Dear,” the Times Square Theatre, noticed a man in the audience at the matinee yesterday who was apparently so happy he beamed all over. The co- median used him aga target for all his jokes and invariably got excellent re- Good Evening : About | Plays and Players | Theat rica News and Gossip DUDLEY [ Poems OF PREFERENCE I. K. Clam, who says he has a fur- nished room ‘in East 86th Street, is trying to win the steam-heated ice cream freezer. He has sent us the following poem, durn him 1 want a wife who will not say” To me when I get stewed cach day: “Go on, you darned old drunken thing! I'm going home to Ma, by jing!" T want a girl who'll say to. me, “Where did you get the brew, dearie?” If such a girt I find aroun’, We'll wed in Volstead’s own home town sald Black Bart. “For youse knows how I love you.” Delos Botts was chagrined. He turned and ran three miles, shouting in anger. “That man's in a hurry,” said Mile. O'Brien. - little ‘Twenty children ap- peared on the scene and did a minuet. “Bam!” A goat had butted Reginald. Black Bart put his arm around Nell. “Come on, gal,” he said, “an’ T'll trot ye over to see my own little private graveyard.” Together they strolled away in the moonlight. And, seated on the tomb of Rip-Snort Mc- Ginnfs, they were married. Then Black Bart took off his whiskers. He was Leo Marsh, of the Morning Telegraph . (The end.) NUTT’S DOPE. Jefferson Shrewsbury Nutt, our campaign manager in our race for King of the Coney Mardi Gras, is arranging ‘he Royal Hot-Dog Ban- auet which will be held to celebrate our ascension to the throne. “You wi and the wife will be side of you, say: ‘King Dud advances. Then, just asa little joke, the wife will say: ‘Advances what?’ everybody laughing | will say to Euge eloey Allen, who is to be Royal Jester: ‘Tell the King a funny story.’ He will tell the one about the fellow who jumped out of a high building wearing rubber boots, and kept bpuncing so much they had to shoot him to keep him from starving to death. Then the band will play, id Dudley to the Chair,’ all will be seated. Hot dogs will begih to fly and every one you get will have a pink ribbon tied around it to denote sincerity. By the way, send me $11, please. | need it to buy the ribbon with. | saw a fellow with a bottle of booze walking along Surf Ave- nue to- followed by ninety- three other men, Much excite- ment, but could learn nothing.— Jeff.” AND NOW PERMIT US to say that the worse a girl plays the piano the harder she tries, When sults. After the show the man ap- Peared on the stage and asked for Bobby. “I enjoyed your work wonderfully,”’ he said, when the comedian appeared. | “So I noticed,” replied Bobby. “But why all the merriment?” “I'm a laundry agent, Mr. O'Nel! said the man in a low tone. always go to shows on hot days to see the collars wilt. Now, when shall IT send the wagon around for your laundry?" HIS FIRST PRESS NOTICE. Joe Conaty jr., son of the doorman at the Times Square Theatre, is one year old to-day, He informs us he intends to be a burglar when he Srows up, A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. Time is money—after it goes through the mint of industry. FOOLISHMENT. When corpulent Mamie McHugh vould sit on his knee she would coo; “I'm rather fat, Sam, But what if Iam! I'mgsure I don't mind it, do your” GOSSIP. Mr. and Mrs, Maurice Goodman have a new son. He has been named Walter, which means “Leading the Hosts. Dave Stamper ts composing the music for the new musical comedy by Ring Lardner and Gene Buck that fegfeld jr, will stage. Billie Burke raotored in from Preyi- dence yesterday and arranged details concerning her new play soon tg be produced. Nugent, them “‘Kempy" guys. “farewelling’’ for years, will appear THs is Wuay 1 Ke EXAMINE A GAR - I CAN STAND OuT HERE AN' Look IT ovEe WITHOUT SOME’ PESKY SALESMAN BUZZING IN MY EAR! eee ee THE BIG LITTLE FAMILY Da. Copr:.1922,(N. Y. Eve. World) By Press Pub. Gr I DES SAW TH WiFF" SLIP fou TH' BUMS RusH ! EXPLAIN: “HoNnEY— | p A wari You'ne HAVE To MAKE IT Do ~ Hey mom! i ees isnT eNoucH f HST WATER 6 TAKE & DATA. THeee ‘s ONLY “& touPLe ot AW. SIMMINY I wish THere WAS SOME Mor® HoT g ‘ | FRIDAY, AUGUST 18, 1922 YES - SHES SoRE ‘CAUSE SWE HEARD T “Took MY STENOG “OUT “To LUNCH ao 2/7 Te ‘Trade Mark Reg. U. 8. Pat. Off. Z| 2 “THAT MAN Looks As IF He'd LIKE To OWN A CAR — ILL SER \F 1 CAN GET HIM 76 “Take & LRIDE IN OUR DEMONSTRATOR ! And She Has a Good Memory for Details |. aac WELL meet Tom +3 Td Me onc SS MY WiFE USED To BE MY “ Svenoa”! OBOY | WHY 19 SHE SO DEALOUS OF ‘YouR *) STENOGRAPHER ! Hey Tite? TiktyY Gor iN TAKE A “Bat AND THE TUB WITH ME - “Most “RUNNI OVER ¢ Ferdie Helped—but Who'll Help Ferdie ? IA BRIN Re ROR — WHY DON’T You AccepT THAT SOB UPSTAIRS FoR MORE MONEY, KATINKA- THEN We CAN GET LUSTEN! EVERY MADAM OBSECTS To HER SERVANT ENTERTAINING POLICEMEN IN OUT OF IT IS T BE FIRED, BUT EVERYTHING WORE To THE MASQUE AN’ TLLEDRESS UP IN IT THe KITCHEN. GET THAT OLD'COPS” UNIFORM "| (rule HRs Gees Loaves IW HERE AND Sces You FEEDING Some I Try ToDo WRONG T'LA BET BERTIE's DOWN IN THE MOUTH SINCE You BEAT HIM OUT THe spot! EXPRESS MAN WITH SOMEOF HER PAGOAG. SHE'LL FIRE You ON ‘OH KATINKA— I'H SO HAPPY THAT You ‘ ) | HAD THE PRESENCE OF HIND To CALL WHAT'S THE Krazy A POLICEMAN t THERE ARE ROBBERS! USE! KRAK —=>\IN THE CELLAR AND 1 WAS aac eC 2 SO NERVOUS! ; - mal 4 2 ? ‘ OLD COP, BY DuMBBa DUMB THEY THINK Mold Bad isA SOCIAL | | EVENT Ne. Bae : 7 Ves bier’ cy ag Po MB, Beg CRS a OP +59" @ ARE SO A\\ SS “js 4 ing— + Oh, Yvonne Is Coming! GOLLY- YOU KNOW LT BELIEVE I'M GOING TO LIKE HER MYSELF er. 1922 (N. Y. Eve. World) By Press Pub. Co. (Copyright, 1022, by the Bell Syndicate, In - Baged as & dancer in the latest edl- ion of "The Greenwich Village Fol- Mes." | Sir Harry Lauder, who has been at the Lexington Theatre for a week] Carol Byrd, a soclal favorite offof America, used to be a telegrapa] will be delayed until after the first of PUT IT J THE ACT. + 1} beginning Oct Kansas City as come to New York | operator. Now he actually knows/the year because Frank hasn't fin- “They say Japan is over-sto *A Clean Town,"' by J, Marguerite leterson lias been en-|and will appear in dramatic roles. | several actors and actresses. ished the play. Kansas City always was dramatic, Donald MoNicol, Assistant to the| Sale, vaudeville actor, in a new Frank President of the Radio Conporation| Craven play called “Harly to Bed, ‘Able’ with American flour.”* ; ‘Abie's Irish Rose,’" Theatre, last night p “True, but wait till the tropiesl Hila performance, begins te-bake,”’ : B. John Golden's plan to present Chic t the Republic od ite 100th