The evening world. Newspaper, August 14, 1922, Page 22

Good Evening ! By BIDE DUDLEY MUM Aa a Mary had a little pig— Its tail was like a spring— And everywiere that Mary went She took the little thing It followed her to church one day, Where Mary met her beau The beau, sweet Mary and the pig Were in the hindmost row. The preacher said, “Let's pray.’ The beau Kissed Mary as they kneeled. They thought no one would know it, but The pig—alas—he squealed. OBSERVATIONS. Babe Ruth need't worry. Abscess makes the heart grow fonder. Lemonade costs $1.50 a drink in Deauville. Now, children—al) to- gether—what put the dough in Deau- ville? Jack Dempsey, we hear, insists he isn't a woman-hater. If he were, it would complicate matters terribly. We wish to deny the report that Lillian De Castro, who yawned and threw her jaw out of joint Saturday, was reading this column when it TNC AP NOCD, POEMS OF PREFERENCE | Saul Speiser of Brooklyn has en- tered this contest but asks that we award him a perfumed onton-peeler instead of a_ velvet-lined oyster- opener, if he wins. His poem, de- scribing the girl he would marry ff she would have him, follows: My girl must be six feet tall, Her waist must be twenty-two. It might take time for her to fall For a guy like me, that's true, 1 don't ask that her mind be sound, Providing she has dough. But, oh, I'd love her if T found She could pay the debts I owe. Sweet lady, where art thou? stamped her foot “Hello!” she yelled. Mile. O'Brien was greatly put out. Harold's love grew stronger and he shouted in glee. It all seemed so absurd. (To Be Continued.) Or Else He’s a Dude. Joe Horton, clerk at the hotel, says that city man, who came to town last week, has three pairs of pants in his closet. Must be going MONDAY, AUGUS reeset WELL.- HOW LONG 15 IT GOING To fe TAKE YOu “TO MANE LP vonR Len) iM GETTING SICK OF “Tis mM 7 MIND ? He LADY “HERMIT OF “THE NEIGHBORHOOD ~ IT NEVER GO ANYWHERE ANY MORE — MY FRIENDS ALI THINK I'M DEAD ( IN TH’ SUBURBS 1S TH! BUNK —TLL ata Trade Mark U. 8. Pat. Off =< AAR RRs - PEOPLE ARE BEGINNING 7 ASK ME, TISNT YOUR HUSBAND'S BUSINESS GOING VERY WELL?" -TWeY THINK we'RE Om THe VERGE oF BanwRuPTey ! FreL SORRY for Us \ THe GRoGER SAID 116 ME YESTERDAY ~~ 1 Te. you FAILED! de Mark U AFTER A HaRD DAY AT TH’ OFFICE “X HARTA Come Home AN’ Mow “TH' LAWN IN EVERY THIN” = WHILE REBTIN'! aN ( T Feet Kay Like SomeTHIN \ TH’ CAT (C DRAGGED N+ _The Evening World Comics \F GET ANOTHER CAR RIGHT AWAY PEOPLE WILL THINK You'VE “\NHAT WOU NEED 1g A HoME IN “HE SUBURBS AND PLENTY oF Excercise ! SEND ME “hy BALANCE BY MAIL ~~ paruine # we DON'T Ay” Ad oti That’s Why He ‘ Ducked!?! =e a ST | BAER Y ATS WoT T Nall a —~ SAD — Srou'RE A ) ere) DAWGONE " OLE : oc QvAcK! ) —— occurred. ie to start a clothing store.—Leesville Ps | (Mo.) Light. IF TLVE THROUGH IT BLACK BART’S GAL E TILL FALL Believe i WE'LL Move STAND “THESE ACHES (Thritis and chilis are to be found in Nutt’s Dope. ME Dat PAINE BAY LONGER @ this story. Oh, please don’t fall to read ca) Nell Nelson was not a girl to complain much, but when the boardinghouse keeper at Spivin’s "If this is beef stew I'la a sucker,” she said. Mile. Maggie O'Brien, her French maid, tapped her on the arm. ; “Nix on the rough stuff!” she whispered. She was afraid something might happen. Harold had caught the remark. It reminded him of a policeman who had once struck him in the Black Bart was not to be re- Pulsed so easily. Stepping for- ward he waved his handkerchief at Nell. “You little skeezicks, you!” he said, thinking to soothe her ruf- fled feelings. For Black Bart Joved thet girl with a love as pure as filtered water. “Swish!” Something had swished, but what? Mile. O'Brien was not timid. Nevertheless, she looked around to learn the cause of the swish. Old lady Michelson, proprietor of the boardinghouse, walked in ‘at that juncture with a rooster sitting on her head. “I've been in the barn-yard,” she said coyly. It disconcerted the entire as- About Plays and Players Jefferson Shrewbury Nutt, now in Bogash, O., investigating the foot and mouth disease among horses for you are running for King of the Coney Island Madras Grass ana we wish to congratulate you about it. By the way, why not have! and she interview you and put some pep into your campaign? I'd pretend | didn’t know you and would ask, ‘Well, Friend, what will you do for Coney if you get to be King?’ You could promise more hot dogs for a dime and say you would let the women wear one piece bathing suits. | would say, ‘Very good, sir,’ and then to singin: in The Evening World office soon have the whole force sing- ing. Then, when she got through, she would appoint some good tenor like Jordan or Fife as sing- leader and every day you could have them render your campaign song. By the way, I’ve got to get some corn nd need a little money. Please send me $11. Luke Skilly took his four dogs into Schmidt's butcher shop yes- terday and they grabbed a few round steaks worth about $1.25. Schmidt got sore, especially when one dog bit him on the excitement but could ing.—Jeff.”” AND NOW PERMIT US to inform you that Editor Elisha Q. Pertle of the Wellsville Optic having heard of the invention of a shoe-string that won't come INTo AN' APT: # Poor PERCY, Tin You "RE TIRED ~ % WATS = DEEN WALKIN @& LONG BeT U VE Er MUST SES 4 A DoeteR } . this column, writes to make a sug- use TT gael | cg creaain Bar eae ey gestion. Read his letter: cea: git | e co s ie | quill | | Soisigees i aera lat “Dear Dud—t and the wife hear Copr. 1922 (N. ¥. Eve. World) By Press Pub. Co. mel | eu] Couns Han f | Now 3 A Gdo0B “PICEIE AND Ice jf LET Yop RIDE 1M HERE Witt HBY FoR A WHILE ~ | Let Me see \ BABY - Tee Be7 He's GROWN So \ Him © ‘Trade Mark U. 8. Pat. Off T COULD GET AS0B WITH THe PEOPLE UPSTAIRS FoR HORE MONEY AND LESS WoRK, BUT 1 HAVE A CONTRACT WITH THE GESSITT'S AN’ CAN'T QUIT! THE ONLY WAY 1 CAN GET OUT oF IT IS J To DO SOMETHING TJHATLL GeT ‘EM - [/RAUNEAT TEXPECT HY RICH UNCLE ON JJANISIT, SO GET THE “GUEST” ROOM o |(FixeD Up, THere Goes THe BELL — ) \THAT MUST Be Hit Now! AH! HERE Ss MY CHANCE To GET) Firep! GOOD EVENING, ARE THE GESGITTS| AT Hote @ eens j —— oi U4 \ HeLa. MARY- Do 4 THE Ty HARDLY KNOW, They Do Look Alike—With T Goke. the wife would drop in and sing, "T_ wonder!” he sald reflect. | ‘Send Dudley to the Chair.’ She ri sal ys taps her foot on the floor ely. wh ABoRs wit semblage, Nell knew she could untied, is wondering how peo- i NOE never pay the mortgage on the | ple who wear such strings get feel widow's little home ff this was their shoes off. | RULER NK] 1S A || DWARF neir Eyes! as AY LITTLE BROTHER. He's THE ONE 43 f rl AT THIS END o——- —___ MEwary MERWwy MAIXUP An Unlucky Bit of Good Luck! ie x | Bore You LITTLE DEAR! HOW} Dip You KNow IT — § WAS OUR LANDLORT ) / pee PEOPLE ARE sc |} | | | DUMB > producer, poet, globe-trotter and| A theatre ts being built in the gar- exponent of the modern dance | den of the Parrish Art Museum at steps, has completed a motor Southampton for a single perfor- J HENRY MEARS, theatrical! | RUSSIANS FOR BENEFIT. trip | through New Bngland and to ready) mnt of Balle@'s “chaave-douris.” discon bilsimecala Bertie Has a Sudden Change of Mind! to go to work. Mr, Mears has as-|special arrangement with Morr! NOW BERTIE - SETTL < mertea cha’ anacanatien’ Cf ‘xtarjo- | Gert ene Rogers Memorial Likrwer eter caine i. NAW -WE DECIDED Taine," with Peggy Wood in the title makes. A special train will wake tne] [WITH THE DOCTOR IN OF HIS OWN | [HERE -L'LL PERFORM SOME, ALLRIGHT YOUNG| [WELL BERTIE | | _TOMAVE A role and will present it in Philadel company to Southampton anf back, A GENTLEMAN WAY) | PAREN i0ici| [OPERATIONS ON YOU,YOU FELLOW TLL BE | | pip you MAKE / TENNIS MATCH NEVER HEARD OF BEFORE RIGHT DOWN! —COME ON- IT'LL BE GOOD PRACTICE FOR, YO\) -PATCHIN' ARRANGEMENTS) FOR A FIGHT . For MY a produce a new comedy by Conrad] FOR THEM Westervelt called The Blimp." After! that is launched he will put on ‘The Broadway Whirl of 1922." With that |!ner, is MISS SAMUELS RETURNS. Rae Samuels, Keith vaudeville head- back from Europe. She ATENNIS MATCH WHY NOT HAVE WITH WIM? DON'T 6 Deirce tig - way ts tay. Giah oft | visited numerous theatres in England, AFFECTIONS fe enough poems for another volume, but |Gff™many and France, but found them YOURSELF UP WHEN 2 oa wark may interfere with this, go|3°t Up to the American standard. She : P 1 GET THROUGeH |Says she has returned convinced that |Amevica is the greatest place on earth “THE WARNING” STARTS. |f0F the theatrical profession, — She javers, further, that the American au- Goldreyer and Mindlin have placed! gience deserves the % err 4 ra e des greatest of respect the new melodrama ‘The Warning,’’| because it is clean-minded Aterrer by Thomas F. Fallon, into rehearsal. |appreciative . Robert Edeson has the chief role @on't worry. Others in the cast are Ann Mason, Marion Lord, Clarence Derwent, MISS BOLTON'S POEM, Frank Andrews, Frauk Montgomery,| lois Bolton, who is to appear in Henry Mawhray, Arua Winslow and|“‘The Black Adventure,” has written Wictor Beecroft. ‘The opening will|¥# @ poem. Look: eecur in Hartford sept. 11 | In times gone by the women wore The gowns called “Mother Hub- bard.” To-day the stule resembles more AN AMERICAN CAST. A. H. Woods 1s vending an Amer- fean cast aproad on the Mauretania -morrow to play “Lawful Larceny"| That dear old lady's cupboard. the cast @ Julian Eltinge's Eltinge has been post- for an indefinite engagement. Its run{ Dear’ at the Times Square Theatre. { Inevitable,” a play in which M It re | “Vondon, It includes Catherine Cal- play, “The Alusive Lady." The exact date will be an-\b will be forty-three w Ruth Gray stepped into the part for]Bazzi appeared recently, is not « dra ‘Twould be abried a} , | wert, Ruth Shepley, Lee Baker, For Took Fdwards Dolly M nounced later The title of “The Old Soak’? has} the matinee and did very well, indeed. |matization of the income tax rest’ Winant, Morgan Wallace, Jean GOSSIP. will be featured in ‘Troubles of 1322 sue era exercises of the] been: restored to the Don Marguis| William Faversham has entered Robertson, Clara Dorothy Francis, soprano, has re-|in Shubert vaudeville School of + Y Will take place] play which Arthur Hopkins will pre-| Keith udeville in a sketeh by Al PUT IT IN THE AcT George Harcourt turned from Europe Irving Caesar aad Johnny Murray | Ane Ww “A eT Epserrh [Praeger CTR Pot PO OPPS Helth: say SRatiaciians Sabet George Hanks. It Bb. LD. H., monologuist at the Pala Anderson writng the lyrics for} an addre Olga Steck was taken suddenly i at 3 7 Dusty—f Mima ince « complete American cast| ace, used to be @ college professor, | the new ‘'Greenwicl: Village Folli After this Weck and nest, “Good] Sacurday at noon and could not a A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. TAG SAMARAS REDE NE | tuand . ; a hag been sent to London, Esther Howard has been added to The opening of “'Lvnely Wives’ atl Morning, Dearie’ will go to Chicago4sume the prima donna role of “Sue,! Dixte Hines wishes w say that Tho It never says a word. BD: Y i . \ \ 1 MK ' \ | ») ‘ |