The evening world. Newspaper, August 7, 1922, Page 20

A GR ged By BIDE I take my doggie for a walk, All on a summer's day, And here and there are ladies fair, With dogs, along the way. My Fido greets the other pups— A friendly dog is he— \ And as they met, the ladies sweet Quite coyly smile at me "Tis nice to own a little dog And lead him by a string; "Tis nice to meet the ladies sweet, With smiles and ev’rything. That's why | love my little dog; That's why I love each flea ‘That bites my pet, for, don't forget, The ladies smile at me. OBSERVATIONS. The story that Kevin, Mont., is @ town without bathtubs won't wash “Don't swim until you are tired out.”—News. But who wants to swim when exhausted? Speaking of awful jokes, did you Notice that Leonard went to Michi- gun City to a tack Hammer? The tale about the Jersey girl who was chased by rattlesnakes was, well, er, a rattling good one, any- way. They say lead pencils are to be made of potatoes soon. To sharpen them all you'll Have to do is slice off a few Saratoga chips. Complimenting Poe. I'm stuck on Poe, I'm stuck on Dud. If this ain't good, T'll be stuck in the mud. —Beazey of Manhattan. ~ LAUGHING LENA. pele ane betes Fhtiing intne' ea Lena was getting tired of the whole. affair. She had come to the store of Grocer Hoskins to | ferret out the identity of a per- “son who had kicked him when he leaned over to pick up 4 nickel. But clue after clue had failed and now what was to be done? The poor girl pondered. She suspected but one person. Could Archtbald have kicked the | grocer? Well, perhaps! She had \ a plan. “Archibald, if you love me,” ahe said, “do as I ask.” He curtsied. Lena dropped a nickel in front of Grocer Hoskins. Lady Hotch- kiss made a grab for it, but the grocer beat her to it. As he bent over, Lena whispered to Archi- bald: “Kick him.” Archibald did. The Grocer straightened up. “The same kick,” he shouted. “Who done it?” Then Lena knew Archibald About Plays TLLIAM A. BRADY'S first pro- WY aictse of the season will be “Swifty,’’ a play by’John Peter Toohey and Walter C. Percival, with Hale Hamilton in the title role. The out-of-town trial will take place at Btamford on Aug. 18. William H. Post 1s staging the play. Mr. Hamil- ton will appear in it through an ar- rengement Mr. Brady has with John Golden, who has the actor under con- ‘tract. ° ROSALIND’S LAMPS. Rosalind Fuller, dancer, was driving fn auto in Central Park the other night without having remembered to turn on the lights. A cop stopped her and he was pretty gruff, at first. But one look into the big eyes of Rosalind cured him, “Excuse me, lady," he said, “I thought there was something wrong with your lamps, but now that I see them closer, I’m sure they're all right."* And then Rosalind, reassured, Jeaned over in the car and pulled out al the dingbats. TINNEY OPENS TO-NIGHT. “Daffy Dill," starring Frank Tin- ney, will have its first performance to- night in Long Branch and will begin @ run at the Apollo Theatre here on Aug. 21, A CAUTIOUS MAN. Warvey Phillips was closing the Wimes Square Theatre's box office . ajeahaaldl o'clock Saturday night. Good Evening! DUDLEY | POEMS OF PREFERENCE Jack B. Gus of Stony Brook, L. I., has put in a bid for the velvet-lined oyster-opener and, really, we think he has a good chance to win it If our readers Jet him live. His poem, which follows, might be called deli- cious and it might be called some- thing else. The girl I will marry Must be sweet and plump, Bing like a canary, With other guys muan't romp. Don’t need lots of moncy, Just a miltion or two. Now, don't think this funny, Lady, dear, how about yout was the guilty man. Placing one hand on his shoulder she said: “You kicked this grocer once before.” Archibald bowed his head in shame. “I'm glad you did,” said Lena. Dearing, the barber, loped up with a ripe tomato. Archibald immediately asked Lena to be his bride. “T will,” she said, “because you kicked Grocer Hoskins.” All were merry. A preacher came through the door. He would tie the knot for $1.60. “Join bands,” he said. Lena smiled and, drawing her automatic, shot everybody in the Place dead. It was a great day for Cupid. Love had triumphed. (The End.) He Knew He Was Wrong. A newsboy was standing at 2d Street and Broadway yesterday smoking a cigarette when a woman, wearing a frown, stepped up to him. “Little boy,” she sald, “you shouldn't smoke that cigarette.” “I know it,” he replied, puffing away. It surprised her. “Well, why shouldn't you smoke jt?” she asked in a more kindly ton “Because it's Willie's,” he said, in- dicating another kid. “I swiped. it from him.” Recollection. T didn't steep One night last week, A skeeter bit Me on the beak, AND NOW PERMIT US to say that the report that there are diamonds In the Adiron- dacks| has failed to excite the natives. They don't seem to carat all. and Players when an inebriated man stepped up. “Shay, old thing,’ he began, “gimme a ‘Sue, Dear’ programme, willya?"’ Harvey gave him one and became curious. *'You haven't seen this show have you?" he asked. “Not yet."* ’ “Well, why do you want the pro- gramme?" “I gotta prove to ma wifesh I was somewhere, ain't 1?" He went away, but returned a mo- ment later. ‘'Whatsha think of Pro- hibishun, old thing?" he asked, “Prohibition certainly has helped this country,"’ sald Harvey, winking at the doorman, “Goods"' said the inebriate. “I wish it would help me home." SHOWING BOOTH PICTURE, The portrait of Edwin Booth, pre- sented to the Rotary Clubs of Amer- lca by E. F. Albee, and which is to be put in the Shakespeare Gallery at Stratford-on-Avon, has been sent to Cleveland, O., for exhibition. The painting ts by J. A. Mohite of Brook- lyn, DOWLING WILL ACT, Eddie Dowling, co-author with Gy- rus Wood of ‘Sally, Irene and Mary."’ s to play the leading role in this musical piece GOSSIP. “Kempy"’ will be 100 performances old to-morrow night Billy and Billt€ Taylor, brother and sister, dancers, have been engaged for ‘Melly Darling.’ Carl Randall, just back from Ei rope, will be seen in the new “Gr wich Village Follies."* Morris Gest bas arranged to bring Sergsh Soydeticine, designer i wet- AR ar *COOKS’ UNION” BALL! comedy called "The Nervous Wreck" at the Apollo, Atlantic City, to-night Frank Herbert, who was seen in juvenile role in ‘Welcome, Stranges,"’ Y, AUGUST 7, 1922 GOSH ~ THa'S A CLASSY LooKiN’ MOTOR BOAT — 1 WONDER How'D INSTEAD OF ANGTHER CAR ? A FELLAH Could HAVE A Lot of (| FUN ~ NO PUNCTURES - y tT BE Te GET ON INCTURES - NO BLEWoyTs -| IE OF TTHEM THINGS| | No ROUGH ROADS — PRETTY SoFT! THE BIG LITTLE FAMILY ; BEFORE WE PAY . THE “ACCIDENT INSURANCE ON “ouR CAR- We MUST Have ALL DETAILS # Now WHO WAS DAIWIN' TH’ wl TH epi ERE COMES THE SBLIGEA ORGAN GRINDER Ive Gora MAW AND T dave WHOLE CENT To @IvwUM- NT Got & CENT To sive ALL RIGHT NOW KITYY-GO OVER AN’ GET ACQUAIMFED WITH YOUNG DOCTOR SIMS -THEN T'LL COME. OVER AN! YoU INTRODUCE ME TO HIM © tings for “Chauve-Souris,"" to Ameri-] has been engaged for “Up the! [mean don't put too much ca from Paris Ladder.”’ Tom Kane will be in advance of Thom Jefferson “Lightnin " ATH ee ee OUGHT FOR TO-DAY. Sam H. Harris will present a new]. Despite the fact that Joe Sartos of Hoboken 1s sick, he’s a well-digger, NEVER HAFTA CRAWL UNDER ON A HoT bay AN! WRASTLE WITH A Loose PAN! PLEASE ES ME WHAT ‘You WERE DOING WHEN “THE ACCIDENT OCCURRED f __The Evening World Comics HEY Mister ! witt you DIVE UNDER AN’ GET “THis ROPE Loose FROM MY PROPELLER ? I'm stuck! MY WIFE WAS “TALKIN' EN’ 0 'D a . AY DO} NKA ? WE ITH You IN. THAT OLD THEATRE PARTY AND WANTS]|'Don'T You KNOW (T's AN EVENING DRESS HELLO KITTY - WHY DIDN'T YOU BRING YOUR PRETTY FRIE WITH YOU ? 5 For often praise precedes a plan To make a Uttle touch and eloquence PUT IT IN THE ACT, - “He's all right in his way.” FOOLISHMENT, “Yes, but he doesn't weigh much,’’| his head at that statement. a Put Uttle foith in praise, my friend.|—B. D, to reaffirm it, although Your Honor Qa ngnt QUIT Hordin’ mY aes. wir 42 | i I WANNA LISTEN / ote WHAT'S ALL THe CUSSING ABOUT, HUGO DID You StUB TWO KINDS OF A SHAKE. In a Nebraska court an was arguing with great earnestness In the midst of his ar- gument he paused a moment “I observe that YOur Honor shakes ____ You'll Admit Dr. Sims Works Fast! (See To-Morrow) [ZIOPM (7'™ So GRATEFUL To You DOCTOR SIMS FOR FINDING |, KITTY - WON'T YOU COME OVER AN’ CHAT A MINUTE ? Judge, “how T should construe the evidence or what my decision will be There was a fly on my ear and I res “{ have not intimated," replied the] Served the right to remove it In any manner | si; Proceed with your argument Philadelphia Ledger. in the case, and your remark is un-] THE HOPE THAT NEVER FAILS, : (From the Minneapolis Journal.) “But, Your Honor, you shook your] The war has not destroyed faith o the earth, Several new hair “That. may be true,’’ the court said.| have appeared and are going well, + a AGG Mon a AKE Boawe HIS EARS mile oh DID NT PAY & CENT- an HE'S LISTENIN’ TS MY Music ¢ Circus BUT DOK KY= MY | FOLKS WOULD a I NEVER ‘CONSENT U WELL'LET's > TO OUR MARRUGE} — ELOPE THEN! IMTOO YOUNGS 4s ss