The evening world. Newspaper, August 5, 1922, Page 12

By BIDE DUDLEY Theatrical News and Good Evening! i ° OSSID | pen { JOE'S CAR aan 1 Misut AS | witout My o LIVE ON AAR — SATURDA,Y AUGUS T 5, 1922 World Comic The Evening WELL TRY To GET ALONG RIGHT EYE as T Tay THIS EARTA wiTHouT T FEEL baKe A ey cath pecan otenmeraneacaens lat acanesaaas | ; “t- “t+ “t- “t- Ship Without a Sail! Or A ee MEBBE. (T'S BECAUSE mM GETTING TBE AFEEDLE OLD WRECK, Bur ft FEEL UKE “TH! WORLD «3 DASHING MADLY, ALONG, WHILE I'M WALKING BAQKWwaRD ! FELIX ! tas THAT PEsT OF A FIGGERIN' out 7 DODGE “THAT FRESH AUTO SALESMAN I OUGHTA FALL ON HIS NECK AN! BEG Him wit 1 like to go to pictures, By gum, | really do; I like to ses the villain Rebuked by Honest Lew, I like to see the woman Who seeks to hurt Our Kate Lose out and get the ha, ha, And likewise get the gate. Oh, give me motion pictures When | am in the dumps; They cure me of all ailments, From broken heart to mumps. Oh, bless you, motion pictures! I love each stab, each shot. But tell me, who supplies you ». With all that wondrous rot? OBSERVATIONS. Now that he is retiring, Lieut. Quackenbos can have all the time he needs for looking after that wonder- ful mustache. Since he is a livery stablekeeper, Oser should have little difMeulty currying favor with the relatives of Mathilde. The pansy has been adopted as the official flower of Butte, Mont. Would- n't the American Buttey hi been more appropriate? It’s happened again. A Kansas man advertised for oats the other diy and the printer got it “cats.” LAUGHING LENA. (Tie not for me to say sho is a flirt. —Walderman.) Lena had a corn, And when she Mecame excited it would pain her. "I do not understand this corn,” she would say, “but some day I shall know about it.” The corn was patning when Archibald approached her to speak of love. “My heart is like an empty beer keg waiting to be filled with your affection,” he said. Lena was thrilled with the beauty of the statement. 80 thrilled was she that she forgot all about her corn. “Wham!” Lady Hotchkiss had struck Dearing, the barber, in the face. “I do not care for him and thought I would let him know it,” she explained. “Walt!” Grocer Hoskins had spoken. He held up one hand. “T am the constable.” “Ha, ba, ha!” Archibald had laughed. “I remember when I was a boy I used to play tiddledy winks.” | Dearing began to lope about the room. He did not wish to OR his first production at the Fulton Theatre, “Orange Blos soms,"” Edward Royce has en- gaged a promising cast. It includes Edith Day, Robert Michaells, Queenie Smith, Pat Somerset, Hal Skelly, Nancy Welford, Robert Fischer, Elva Pomfret, Mary Lucas and Maurice Darcy. The orchestra will be under the direction of Gus Salzer, Victor Herbert has written the music for this plece, o “THE BAT'' GOING AWAY. The last four weeks of the engaxe- ment of "The Bat’? at the Morosco Theatre begin Monday night. . The play will open in Boston on Labor Day, just a year after it was scheduled to go there. here caused the de With its con- cluding performance on Sept. 2 ‘The Rat’ will have run for two years and ten days in New York, Its popularity other day we x ery, the Kitten scued a girl collect It? Well, here and he’s sore eT go," he writes, “the ’ Y nt to kiss me. 1 wouldn't a whole h--1 of a s down my way to overdo this kissing and We've se is 4 disguise when out on the menade, 1 him some false whiskers HARRIS IS HERE. Harris of Norfolix, Va t he is the homeliest United States, is Harris is a cotton here to broke a cean with him in New York. Mr nd him Homeller than we are. T. Jones, uno} wealthy man from Norfolk, Was in the purty and, being handsome, ed the reputation of Norfolk as a beauty centre, We asked Mr. Harris for an interview last night and he ously gave It “1 believe.’ he said, “that Prohtbl- tom |x of great value im bios We every maen @ chance to About Plays and Players POEMS OF PREFERENCE } Ruth L. of Manhattan really wants to marry, but he must be a man who can slip her the old fried chicken and baked beans regularly. Eating, she says, 1s as Important as anything she knows of. But here, we're keep- ing you from devouring Ruth's poem: Oh, Mr, Duley, wilt you please see What you can do to help poor me? I'm looking for a man to wed, One who'll always keep me fed. He may be handsome, dark or fair, Just what he looks like I don't care, But he must be a turtle dove And give me food and lots of love, leave and yet he wanted to bd going somewhere. His action suggested a game. The rest of those present went to the pickle barrel and began to pop him with pickles. “This game should be a riot in London society,” sald Lady Hotchkiss. Eddington Blue, bartender at the drug store, entered the gro- cery. Lena rushed forward and yanked off his false whiskers. He proved to be Red Mike, who had robbed the Fashion Cafe of its hash, Lena rapped on the floor with her nightstick. (To Be Continued.) Anent Mary’s Calves. Jane Thomas of No. 48 West: minster Road, Brooklyn, has written a sequel to our rhyme about Mary's calf, printed here recently. We like Jane’s poem, so clear tne decks— here {t comet Mary had a pair of calves, And they were good to sce. And for this reason ale attuined Great popularity. Now Mary was a kindly sov!, Bhe nothing did by halvea, And 'twas her great delight to show Her pretty pair of calves, And for this reason none who saw Did register surprise, When at the cattle show they won A fifty-dollar prize, By Golly, That’s Great! A nice dance was held here Tues. day night. ‘The music was good, the floor was fine and it didn’t break up in @ fight until 1 A, M.—Kelton (Wyo.) Gazette. AND NOW PERMIT US to suggest that if you must eat pie it might be well to see that it is not of the bury sort. \ wo Lost His wooden Lee! T OUGHTA HAVE AN ADDIN' b MACHINE. “To KEEP COUNT OF WY KEEPIN’ ON ON “TH’ CouRsE | Here Ss 4 Lor | O COMPANY aT DoBse’s thouse over Hee Wes +e 4s COMIN’ ¥ ero Here AFTER DINNER EERE FORE DoBse wWAs come AFTER DINNER AND HERE He We ‘ve STARTED — KATINKA : GEARS IN MY EYES To SELL ME A Nozirt THERE CANT Be WoRsE PLAYERS THAN MYSELF, t WELL MANGE THERES WoRSE PLavers ! CAR SALESMAN BEEN AROUND YET ? 7 BUT THEY DONT PLAY oe SN: Mom Will Understand “Hereafter” ! ean - AFTER DINNER ( He s Heee AFTER IT- To cer iT? lo cer get all he wants to drink. Of course, {t 18 new as yet, but even now men who never could get it before ave obtaining all they need, thanks to Prohibitton."* Gossip. Pauline Frederick will open at the Woods Theatre, Atlantic City, morrow in “The Guilty One. {@ going to Chicago. A. H. Woods will present “Lonely Wives” at the Stamford Theatre Stamford, Aug. 11. It will come to the Bitinge the week of Aug. 14 The Tennessee Club of Columt University attended “Good M at the Globe Thea A new number called Daddy" has been written f Dear," now playing to capacity at the Times Square Theatre Bob Schafer wishes us to inform you that he ia singing his own songs t the Ritz Cabaret and absolutely final bill of the season of the hold Players: will on Aug It will consist of four playte Popular lause waltz and one A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. “His intentions,” says the Hon, Alex but xo are thone m-vending machine.” FOOLISHMENT There was a young girl named Hor tense, Who Was so exceedingly dense That when a dog vit her l give forth a titter tid murmur: “Gee whiz, that's im in fact, it will! PUT IT IN THE ACT. “He gave his two kids twenty-five OM tnt ima wan 1% \ "A Gumrter to two BOD { Good NIGHT! CueRy Ane THAT WOMAN TAKES 4 SLANT AT THE FASHION Book MY BANK ROLL GETS KNUCKED FoR A GoAL! BuT You BOUGHT | ME AN OUTFIT LAST FALL — WHY CAN'T 1 GET one {Tas YEAR ? L CAN'T AFFORD \T— “TIMES ARE DON'T You KNOW THAT A DOLLAR) TODAY 1s EQUAL T WHAT SOF / | WAS A Few YEARS Ac pon a) Pu Nl” ae Le TLL FALL OUT OF THIS TREE AN CALL FOR THE NEW. YOUNG DOCTOR THAT HAS MOVED IN | NEXT DQOT, - WHAT A ROMANTIC WAY OF MEETING THAT WILL ye HELP DOCTO T'VE SPRAINED MY ANKLE !! f getting MY-OH-MY +.) WHAT AN UNUSUAL / NEIGHBORHOOD |) — ‘vy a —“/wayepoctor! war HAS MY FALLING OUT) > OFA TREE AN' \ SPRAINING MY ANKLE ) GOT TO DO WITH \ THe NEIGHBORHOOD ea Ee Ez "4 yor of th . | side You. HAVE To DOUBLE NY WAGES OR TLL QUIT, BOSS— TM ONLY GETTING HALF OF WHAT TL HAD THE SAME ACCIDENT SINCE L'VE TAKEN YOUNG _ DOC SIMS INTO MY OFFICE n't mind walking to the fa t corntield, dog Bingo. but y He was a faithful animal, you can find eal ele ia meat ype 1 see, there's been so many po- Afra band w a mit sigan nek are Sacheye.& 9 fed when he recely him over there." litical ca along here this few ' 1 i topping at toe] Sart Me MMRDRDD TO replied lecnemine ties teste “Why, L thought you sald he had/weeks back that the poor beast just Leal pede hase f the house made] sje, just ao sorry aa ean be that my|that the husband be told of his visit]gone to a funeral,” replied Leather-| wore himself out barking at them, We AMOR Appearance: and pol Invites] j)) Il isn't home; he just left ajand disappointment at not seeing him. | wood in a bew ed tone. found him dead this morning.”—Me- wefnim to ea 0 the p Ue wile ago to attend the fu-] ‘Of course,” suggested the lady, 30 he has; {t's the funeral of our! tional Republican,