The evening world. Newspaper, August 1, 1922, Page 28

\ ' | \ i . } { faith in the American stage intensi- Good By BIDE The world is topsy-turvy, The world is all awry, And life is sour apples Instead of apple pie. ‘Tis not that I’m dyspeptic, ‘Tis not that I’m just bored, The reason life is dreary Is Jersey's skeeter horde. At night I toss and tumble And claw the air and rave; What sleep | get is troubled, Oh, I’m insomnia’s slave The big ones and the small ones Take turns in stinging me, And ev'ry time I fight them They join in songs of glee Oh, Jersey, take your skeeters, Yea, call thy children home, They've jabbed me in the gizzard, They've punched me in the dome. All night my arms are swinging, It takes my strength, my breath; If you don’t curb them, Jersey, I'll beat myself to death. OBSERVATIONS. A Boston woman, held up by a footpad the other night, was scared speechless. Must have been terribly frightened! Since Helen Wainwright swims every day she probably doesn’t have to worry about Saturday night. Charles Popper of Chicago, agea three, reads the newspapers. If he sees this paragraph, here are our Oongratulations, The Missouri Supreme Court has ruled that a boy has a right to climb a tree. No other ruling could Baive been enforced. A Trenton, N. J., woman has s! tled the town by announcing she is in love with her husband. And the weird part of it is, she is absolutely @ane. LAUGHING LEN Lena did not want to go to the musicale, She could not sing because she had lost a tooth which made all efforts at sing- fmg sound like whistling. Yet she knew that if she were not pres it would look suspicious. ®he called Archibald. “Yes, my love,” he replied. ‘Twas plain his heart was a-flutter. “Has Grocer Hoskins a piano fm stock?” Archibald was surprised. He felt sure Lena had an ulterior Motive in asking such a darn fool question. But he did not Jet on. “No, sweet woman,” he replied. “He favors potatoes.” “Ding!” Lena looked. Pudge Hoskins was at the cash Pegister. Thoughts of the musi- * eale left her mind immediately. Could this be robbery? Maybe not. Dearing, the barber, was fum- ®ling with the lock on the ice- box. She beckoned him nigh. “Did you hear that ‘ding?’" Dearing tiptoed to the door nd looked up the road with his spy-glasses. He saw a wagon Evening! DUDLEY { PoEMs OF PREFERENCE Samuel Abrams of East 107th Street will be much obliged when he reads this, He wants to marry and knows exactly the sort of a girl he would tle up to. Her description lles in the following rhyme, which is ab- solutely all his own: The girl I marry must be educated And act sort of sensibly; Bhe must not be too infatuated With any one exceptin’ me; Her lips and cheeks must not be of paint, Nor wear her dresses too short. 1 do not want her to be a saint, Nor anything of that sort; I want her to be of the social kind And be pleasing to my guests. This kind of girl will some day be mine, And we'll Uve in happiness. approaching. ‘This was reas- suring. Tiptoeing back to Lena he whispered: “The delivery wagon {gs over by the hog-lot.” Lady Hotchkiss overheard. She stepped forward and bowed. “Why do you speak of such things?” she asked. Dearing was abashed. Never before had a titled woman sought to rebuke him. Tears came into his eyes. stolen by gypsies when but a child.” The society ladies were as- tounded. Who could have stolen this barber when but a ebild? An Indian poked his head in the door. “Wah, kab, umpah,” he grunted. Archibald could not under- stand. “The secret is out,” he yelled. Lena drew her automatic. (To be continued.) Oh, Goody, Goody! A hand bill fraught with interest for those who like to eat has reached our desk. It is headed “Help Wanted’ and says, in part: “Wanted, 1,000 men, wimmen, lads and lassies to attend the hot chicken dinner, M. B. Church Hall, Cottekill, N. Y., Thursday, Aug. 10. The sup- per will consist of young, tender, fat chicken with brown gravy, mashed potatoes, baked beans, celery, pickles, cheese, tea, coffee, cake, home-made ice cream, etc. Suppers will be served from 6 P. M. until all are served for the small sum of 60 cents per plate. Drop in, people, and feed. Come on, load up.” BY WAY OF DIVERSION. The baby with his candy stick will craw] about the floor and, though he can't eat what he has, will howl like sin for more. The man who's worth, in worldly goods, of millions half a score, will fret and stew and worry ‘round. He wants a whole lot more, And so it goes all through this life. To restlessness we bow. My friend, if you'd be satisfied, the time for it is NOW. AND NOW PERMIT US To say a faint heart frequent- ly has been won by a fair lady. | About trom a survey of theatrical oon- ditions in Wurope with his fied. “With a full consciousness of all tthe shortcomings and imperfect ons of the American theatre,” said he to- day, ‘I still say America holds first Piece in the dramatic world. The Buropean stage is afflicted with per- micious anaemia. Neither in London, Peris nor Berlin has a single new idea been worked out. The same old tricks, so familiar to playgoers before the war, still are worked in the sa: fd way. I will dismiss musical plays, Fevues and the like because America @ained pre-eminence in that field long ago, but to-day we can also claim leadership in the serious drama, light eomedy and even in farce, where the French once held sway. “Burope lacks playwrights. We Reve a dozen in the United States Whose ability is unquestioned and Who are unsurpassed by any writer whose works are now appearing on the Huropean stage. We also have taken first place in the mechanics of uction. Our plays, on the whole, ‘ far more effectively staged than those of Furope. “Lastly we have the actors. I do fot deny that the herd schooling Which Buropean actors get has the Plays and Player effect of raising the general average. But, while this training may impart technical excellence, it cannot muke a first class actor out of a medicre one, while tt may easily destroy the sim plicity, sincerity and directness in the portrayal of a character, The only tteld where America does not compete successfully ts @ field in which she does not compete at all—namely, 1a the treatment of subjects forbidden by our censorship. There is a great flood of such plays, especially in Central Europe, many of which are extremely well done. But even if the censorship were lifted I do not belleve we would find much demand for such materia! in the United States, Psychopathology Joes not interest a large public in thi country, “In my opinion the American the- atre will henceforth have a very strong influence on the European stage. We'll see American plays tn London and Paris, and British and French playwrighte imitating the methods of our best writers, as we imitated Europe in thé old days. The pupil now 1s outdoing the master. “I found just one novelty in Europe and that was purely mechanical. A Berlin director has invented new stage shifting machinery, which makes possible on the legitimate stage lightning changes like those of he movies. Our public will have a chance to appreciate it next winter, when ‘The Marvellous Adventures of Conductor Kretssler’ ts producedg by my own firm in New York." sll The “Gvening World Comics GIMMe OPINION ie YOU WERE YING A CAR, WHAT 2 Ww db y' Buy? T MEAN A FOUR — e HONEST How MANY DID You TAKE “ Luke’ ? Fe ON GAS AN’ RUBBER “UN EVERYTHING \Copr. 1922 (N. Y. Eve. World) By Prees Pub. Co. THE BIG LITTLE FAMILY "oie A REK i a ANT BEAT [EM ALL ROUND ECONOMY! MARY. RUN OVER AND GET ME & SEVEN Pound SACK OF FLOUR - WILL YOu 2 AND TAKE Your, UMBRELLA THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY oF =] GONNA SPRING. CSS PROPOSING IS ALL WRONG! GIRLS WANT TO Be THRILLED THEse DAYs. INSTEAD OF ASKING KATINKA JUST To = i \ UBeE MY Wife” I'M SOME POETIC STUFF THAT'LL TOUCH HER -1Ts I ONLY TooK FIVE -so ws my Hore | ED may pNLY DRIVE A PLIVVER Ly But HE KNOW: AUTOMOBILES Too - Now, DONT eer > THE FLOUR WET y ON THE WAY Bact -~ “Yd HOLD THE UMBRELLA |) / OVER IT - 6 AS CRAZY AS YOU LOOK MANY DID ‘fou TAKE ‘Luke? ff han Yost sPoin THAT FLOUR IF 1 GETS RAINED ON. BE SURE TS WEEP iT DRY- HERE 1 KNEEL BEFORE You DEAR, AND ASK YoU FoR YOUR HAND - SAY YES, FAIR ONE, AND MAKE THIS BOY THE HAPPIEST IN THE LAND. > WHY COOK AND WASH AND SCRUB A HOME FoR MISTER GESSITT'S WIFE, WHEN YOU CAN HAVE ONE OF YOUR OWN AND ENSoY YOUR SWEET YOUNG LIFE. WHY YOU PooR FISH — YoU MUST BE You'D BUY ONE OF “THOSE THINGS ~wWuHa's BT “iain tH! MATTER — Turow U Go TELL THAT SHRIMP: IN ! y' MEAN Ty’ HEAT ? ~— (TS MY TURN To ASK FIRST Ue Hey Mom ¢ 1T DD ANT CET RAINED GRAVY SPOTS om| THe TAGLecuoTH You Pease. You'VE SAID ENOUGH YOUNG FELLOW — ‘T'S Time You Took THE AIR! IP YouR SOB THis MINUTE ~ <= zt BEAUTIFUL BAB OF YOUR HORSE FOR YOU - YOU TOLD ME TO FEED HIM WELL - BELIEVE ME, I DID THIS AND YOUR BILL 15 \FTY DOLLARS- GOSSIP. George V. Hobart ts writing the book of the new “Greenwich Village Follies.” Marjorie Rambeau and "The Gold fish” moved from the Astor Theatre to the Shubert yesterday, Because of its success, the engage- WELL MR, RYDE T TOOK CARE FIFTY DoLLaRs! GREAT scotT!! WHAT DID YOu FEED HIM - RADIUM ? ment of Square Theatre indefinitely by th: F 48 been extended Selwyn. has entered t} ‘ 1922" at the Winter Garden, She dances and pore, John Cromwell hee engaged Hilda THE OLD NAG \SN'T WORTH | THANK YOU MR RYDE - YOU'RE CERTAINLY A Sue, Dear,” at the Times | Spong and Greta Kemble Cooper for “Manhattan” opentng at the house Aug. 16. Las debe was sailors’ night at the performance of “Good Morning Dearie.” Men from the battleships wore present, John Golden saw his production of Piay- YOU SEE TUBBY- WHEN L SET MY MIND ON SOMETHIN’ T USUALLY GET IT Tooth," open starring FOOLISHMENT. In the dark on her father's veranda, SURE, THING, BAB- | YOURE THE GNAT'S NiGHTY!! in Asbury Park last Bdone PEOPLE ARE SO DumB THEY || THINK A Doar SALE Is AN EXCURSION rse With Such Taste ay = SO FAR SO GOoD- THE MORSE BELON TO GAB, BUT— \F YOU WERE ABOUT LIKE BAR'S HORSE merRAT SSG oer mee ee eet ten eb a} “I can't leave you, pet." rte] But he did leave, you bet, When her dad yeiled: “Young fellow, .meanda!" give my wife all the money she askeé for “Did you break it?’ “No, it broke me," B. D. A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. The greater the gall the greater the PUT IT IN THE ACT. Thoy sat and Re satd, as he fanda “EZ made @ resolution last month tol gratter,