The evening world. Newspaper, July 13, 1922, Page 28

News IY By BIDE There are times when | am blue, And you bet | hate ‘em too; there are times when there's no joy in anything, When dark clouds are in my sky When | almost want to cry, Evening! TY OLY SATE Ye DUDLEY POEMS OF PREFERENCE. Little Lillie of Harlem wants the velvet-lined oyster opener, but she would rather have a nice husband, When I cuss, instead of praise, | This ts the sort of a man sho prefers: the birds that sing. But that’s when I'm busted flat When I'm realizing that I'm up against one woe makes men sick, But it's just the other way, Life is bright the live-long day If 1 only have a dollar in my kick There is nothing quite so sad— Nothing makes one feel so bad As to know his pockets don’t contain a cent; All his cheerfulness will fade, Into deep despair he'll wade, And he'll wonder where on earth his money went. But the sun will shine once more, Shine as brightly as before, And_ he'll feel that old Trouble he can lick, If the time but comes when he, Digging where his coin should be, Can discover there’s a dollar in his kick. OBSERVATIONS. ‘They say Mr. Mallory lost $10,000 betting on Molla. Gosh! Wait till the next family argument comes up! A Youngstown, O., man, aged ninety-nine, has just joined the Bricklayers’ Union. Maybe he wants a large funeral. A cobbler’s wife on the east side has been charged wits bootlegging. Possibly the boots tempted her. When a Hopi Indian squaw wants to divorce her husband she merely throws his clothes out of the domi- eile. The husband, of course, is in the clothes. A man named Bones has been ar- rested in Pittsburgh on a charge of housebreaking. It is only natural to Presume that Bones used a skeleton key. \ that man Ignorance Is Bliss. ‘That man Bliss, arrested in con- nection with the depot robbery. seems to know nothing about it.— Leesville (Col.). Light. LAUGHING LENA. (A’ woman's heart {s Ike an apple Diossom, fragile and lovely.—Pinkle- epeare.) 7 Laughing Lena was misnamed. } She could laugh very boister- ously if need be, but there were } times when she was very sad. ; Once a little bird in a cage Decked another and made him } peep, and Lena, who witnessed } ithe attack, eried. ‘Thus in tllus- } trated the sweet nature of this ] {great woman detective. No won- der, then, that her heart was j {touched waen Archibald acci- dentally threw a lighted match } in Grocer Hoskins's whiskers. ‘The grocer seemed very low in spirits. + Three of the society women tn { ‘the store offered to assist him Snancially, { proud. “It must not be,” he said idreayily. Then to Lena; Havo - you learned who kicked me?” Lena led him to a seat near an old well in the garden. “The child is in Nutley, N. J.,” she waispered. About Plays HERE is a man somewhere who a is making actors his victims in an effort to get an easy living. Billy B. Van is the latest to suffer from his operations. While in Denver recently Billy received a wire signed by @ friend here in New York asking for the ioan of $100 to be sent by tele- graph, Billy hurried to the telegraph office and wired the money to the ad- dress given as that of the friend Several weeks later Billy arrived in New York and met his friend on the street. The latter said nothing about the loan and finally the comedian anked him if he had received the money. The friend said he had askeu fpr no loan and had received none Billy took the matter up with the f@legraph company and it developed that the schemer had fleeced oliwrs. “It cost me $100," said Billy to- @ay, “‘but the lesson was worth it, ws I'm too tender-hearted, any- but Hoskins was ae j STILL THEY COME. | The latest all-colored revue to in- fade the Broadway district is ‘Thy Plaztetion Revue,’ which will begin engagement at the 48th Street tre Monday night next. It is in foo acts and 1s described as a musi- al melange. Florence Mills is itw He must have cyes, He must have cars, He must know how To shed real tears He must have legs, He must have feet And teeth and. lips, And fingers neat In other words, It is my plan To find a man— Just that—A M/ But who kicked me?” manded Hoskins. “Hist! Meet me at the old frog pond Sunday. I may have some information for you.” Archibald appeared. He was weary of waiting for Lena to be- come his bride. He pointed to the sky, “My heart is in the clouds,” he said. Three of the society women fainted, and it was seen that one of them wore yellow gartors, She was Lady Hotchkiss. Archibald and Lena went away to summon a doctor. By tae time they had reached the corner they had forgotten their mission, so great and ab- sorbing was their love. Lady Hotchkiss sat up. “T must of fainted,” she said. Hoskins chuckled. He was in no way responsible for those so- ciety women, (To be continued.) de- Contributed Humor. Every now and again some reader sends us a sample of his humor. A good joke just at hand concerns lit- tle Muggsy Swat, aged eight years. It goes like this: Muggsy—Mother, I wish I could go to school all through the summer. Mrs. Swat (a very sweet and es- timable lady)—You're a liar, Muggsy. Better Late, &c. A belated Fourth of July poem, written by a Barnard College girl, is Just in. It is so good we cannot ignore It, even though the Fourth has passed into history. Here's verse: one The Fourth is again here All hail the day. Oh, did you see any flreworks, 8o very nice, I pray, "Tis very fine indeed, To celebrate so The happy day when we Bloodied the King's nose. Society Arrives. The following gentlemen were in town to-day from Red Bye Gulch: Big Pete Martin, Snub-Nosed Wil- fon, Hamfat O'Brien and Poker Dailey.—Kelton (Wyo.) Gazette. AND NOW PERMIT US To suggest that it won't be strange if it 1s proved that Lester Belmont, being sued for divorce in Connecticut, did lead a fast life. He was born and raised in Gallup, N. M. and Players others. Lew Lesile is the man behind the bankroll, MISS LEVENE ABROAD, Doris Levene, daughter of Herbert Levene, has gone to Paris with her mother to spend a year studying the Piano. Philip, the noted instructor, Predicts 4 great future for her, On the Berengaria going over Miss Le- vene was the star of the ship's con- cert “MR. PIM" RETURNING, The “Mr. Pim Passes By" com- pany, headed by Laura Hope Crews and Dudley Digges, which closed its season in San Francisco last Satur- day night, will arrive in New York lo-day. This company, under the management of A, L. Erlanger, haa mude one of the longest and most successful tours of the year. It played forty weeks and travelled 20,- 000 miles. Miss Crews will go to her Connecticut home for a rest and Mr. Digges will sail for Europe shortly to consult with a dramatic author about & play for next season THESE ARE IN IT, George Broadhurst has engaged for “Wild Oats Lane Leah Peck, Judith @ar and in the cast are Chapelle and Stinette, Shelton Brooks, Edith Wil- Aon, U, 8. Th: mn, Lew Keane and . Mee Vosselli, Hope Sutherland, ¢ ta Lyon, Florence Earle, Vera Win Eda von Buelow and Pauline Breu- WHEN LT SoLd (a) Copr. 1922 (N. Y. Eve. World) By Press Pub. Co. 1 WONDER How Th'for NUT That BouGHT MY CAR IS GETTIN' ALONG wiITH IT ?—?_2.. T WONDER IF HE GoT IT So IT'LL RUN —? J U oust ') Get IT OFFA MY MIND Aq ore DOUGH GETTIN’ GEE ~ HE MAY BE ones HE “THINKS {T° To Lor ME ? HIM , BUT GosH | i THE BIG LITTLE FAMILY DANGONIT="T FEEL LIKE A MAN 0’ NINETY — OB OW! IM A PHYSICAL Aunt Mart - Kin I FEED THe cHictens RESTAURANTS ARE ALL CLOSED AT THIS HOUR CORNER. IT'S THE FRIEND OUT TO THE GIRLS WHEN HE COMES ‘TO SPEND THE Day WITH YOU ?. Sore, Yoo". FIND CHICKEN FEED IN THE CORNER OF HE BARN - SAM" —T FEEL LIKE TH’ WRECK roy micy HESPERUS —IM ALL RUN DOWN “To A SHADDER # —WHY You LOOK LIKE SOMETHIN’ “H' CAT DRAGGED \N “Luke”! tow, Tue Fik THEIR CEREAL FoR ‘EM ny, GOSH, THE SERVICE IN HERE Is AWFUL! WHO's WAITING ON THis TABLE ? VER IN THAT LUNCH HE'LL BE HERE EIGHT HOURS -$2 PER HOUR -EACH GIRL WILL HAVE TO ENTERTAIN HIM DURING HER HOUR YEAH, LET'S GO OVER TO THE 4 COTTAGE AND WE'LL MAKE UP THE PRICE LIST THAT'LL NET You | $16 - JUST ENOUGH FOR THAT RIDING MAYBE HE'S PAYING OUT A LoT oF IT FixeD — —hue STUCK Some PLACE out IN TH’ Hot SUN — =~ 1 WONDER ics cs SS He's STUCK WAY ouT Ay IN TH’ COUNTRY OUYA REACH . A OF HELP OR ANY THIN! — Wity HIS HEAD UNDER “TH'Hoob, ALL Hot AN’ STICKY A SAY! LISSEN MAN -DYE WANNA RUN “YOURSELF INTo TH’ GRAVE —WeT You NEED 15 A COUPLE OF ' WEEKS AT A BEACH: Copr. 1922 (N.Y. Eve. World) By Press Pub. Co. 5 HEY aur MarTH THE CHICKENS Dw‘ WAIT — “Tie I Pur THe SUGAR AND CREAM, ON THEIR BREAKFAST Foor ¢ GONNA SIT HERE F tn ALL NIGHT £ -FoR RENT- YOUNG MAN Im Duet BACK FROM MAKE as Muck Nois® AS YOO cad, use, WHILE Monee Has COMPANY - Hve Mooney, wester ay ——— DONT Border WHY DIDN'T SHE TELL ME THAT PLACE WAS A CAFETERIA! SCHREYER lob STNKCHOLAS. ave T'LL MEET HIM AT THE STATION AN ‘TELL WIM IVE BEEN CALLED AWAY, BUT THAT T'VE ARRANGED FOR IGNED WILL LEASE OUT, AT ei oon, THE ATTENTIONS OF MR OLIVER GIMBLE MONDAY ONE CONDITION THAT EACH GIRL WILL ENTERTAIN HIM IN THE MANNER PRESCRIBED BELOW DuRING HER HOUR:- ene Agee AM. NAM TO 12 TOUR OF CAMP GROUNDS 2TO1PM CANOE RIDE CONVERSATION TENNIS HIKE SWIMMING GOLF WORSE BACK RIDE a) TEeNED. am (Copsright, mo, by the Hell Syndicate, Inc.) THE GIRLS TO ENTERTAIN stedt. Maclyn Arbuckle is the fea- tured member of the cast The opening will occur at the Woods Theatre, Atlantic City, next Monday Gossip. Harland Dixon of “Good Morning Dearie,” has harvested his hay The first “Sue, Dear’ matinee ts Scheduled for the Times Square|the Maine coast before resuming his Theatre to-day. work in Bombo." Eddie Nelson has engaged the Nel-| Frank Reicher's engagement by the son Sisters for Echoes of Broadway, elwyns as producing director for Fred Hildebrand and Vera Michele-| that firm will not take him out of the na are to be starred in “Hello, Miss | Theatre Guild production of Morn to Radio," a Shubert vaudeville unit Midnight."* Al Jolson reached New York from| Margaret Severn, who introduced California yesterday. He will fish off|the Benda Masks in ‘The Greenwich ee cn Village Follies,” is now in Proctor Vaudeville Irene Palasty, a light opera prima donna from Hungary, has arrived in New York. FOOLISHMENT. There was a young lady named Tay- lor, Who went to a dance with a sailor. aa He drank some home brew A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY, hungry man can make| _4¢ 4 quarter to two, Almost any hungry man ¢ if #100 @ square meal out of a round steqk. , And now he's in charge of the jailor. —_—_—__— | FROM THE CHESTNUT TREE. (From Nora Darrow, Patchogue.) “Why Is a pancake like th Mr. Gill?” sun, “T give it up, Miss Darrow,” “Because it rises in the yeast and sets behind the vest.” a a