The evening world. Newspaper, July 11, 1922, Page 24

H | E Ah’s feelin’ mighty happy, Ah’s feelin’ mighty glad, Ma frien’, dey’s almos’ nothin’ Jes now could make me sad, De reason ah's so joyful An’ filled clean-up wit cheer, Es simply ‘cause ah’s noticed De watahmelon’s here. Ah lubs dat ole fried chicken It mek er hit wif me, De cohn-pone en de ‘lasses Es sweet es sweet kin be, But in de good ole summah, Dem things doan’ taste so fine, Jes keep ‘em all an’ gimme Dat melon, frien’, fo’ mine LAUGHING LENA. (Woman, you are too platitudinous for the Sainta,—Pinklespeare.) When Lena found the Hoskins store window had been kicked in by a mule she immediately thought of her sweetheart, Archibald. i “Woof!” she said to Hoskins. The storekeeper had not found » his nickel; neither had he dis @overed who kicked him, so he decided to call on society. “Ladies,” he said, “Attaboy!” There were several society ladies in the assemblage in the store and they were decidedly Peeved. Why should this old bewhiskered man ask them to “atta boy?” Not a one could re- Ply correctly, so Lena, the great @etective, decided to try her hand, “There is a mystery here,” she said. At that moment Oscar, the de- lvery boy for the Hoskins store, appeared and sighed. “Well,” he said, “we may be out a nickel, but I have just et @ fine ham sandwich.” Lena sighed. Archibald was noting her every move. It was not for her to move without rea- fon. So she moved with an idea in mind and all was well. “Hooray!” she shouted. Old man Hoskins could not see for the life of him how he ‘was to discover who had kicked him. So he just went home and threw himself on his bed and sobbed. Lena—¢reat detective that she was—could not stand grief. “Wow!” she walled. Her lover was astounded. To him “Wow” meant “Wood- men of the World.” It seemed impossible. (To Be Continued.) SEEMS REASONABLE. What is it that will mend a dish? Glue, What is it that will choke a fish? Eve Glue. ning! DUDLEY BY I'm thinking back a way to- night; I'm dreaming of a day when I was living on a farm— old home far I'm painting pictures in my mind. an away. In one, as shadows creep, 1s mother, seated by the bed a'rocking me to sleep. I seem to hear her song again—the one I liked the best. Once more I’m in her loving arms that held me I seem to feel the motion of that squeaky rocking chair, and now I’m dropping off to her breast. to sleep—a slumber free from care. Now, mother hasn't rocked her boy for forty years or more. She's not been here to sing the song I loved in days of yore. I'd give the world could she come back to-night, as shadows creep, and rock in that old squeaky chair, a weary man to sleep. What is it that would make no hit With you should you sit down on it And might cause you to have a nt? + Glue, What is it that we should not cat? Glue, Nor wear in shoes to case the feet? Glue. ‘ What is it which, if we shoula chew Would very likely make us blue, And make us seek some teeth quite new? Glue. Yea, Bo! Just 3,100 couples were mar- ried in Chicago last month. In other words, 6,200 hearts were made to beat as 3,100. Oh, the Mushy Youth! There once was a girt named Miss Capp, Who sat on her best fetlow's lap, Said he: “This ts fine, It is really divine.” Now what do you think of the vap? Only Two. Henry Spellman and Alfred Going’s roan mule are the only Missourians in this county.—Hen- derson (Neb.) Tribune, AND NOW PERMIT US To inform you that Judge Gaies of Missouri bas a beard five feet long and is an expert at eating soup, He parts the beard each time he partakes of the de Metous beverage. Later he cro- . chets it. RANK REICHER, long ‘dentified with the work of the Theatre Guild in the direction of pro- ductions, has signed a contract with the Selwyns to serve this firm in a Mike capacity. Mr. Reicher’s new aMllation comes at the right moment, as the Selwyns have planned to stage many interesting offerings which will require the skill of a man of his art- istic abilities. Among these is the Meinhard-Bernauer fantastic melo- drama which has had a year's run in Berlin. In the German this play's ~ title is ‘Die Wunderlichen Geschich- ten des Kapelimeisters Kreisler."’ Ite American title will be “‘The Mysteri- ous Affair." Crosby Gaige obtained rights to nu- merous plays while abroad. In addl- tion, he contracted with Milne for his mext three plays and he signed a sim- ilar contract with Clemence Dane. In London he obtained rights to “If Four Walls Told,” a domestic drama by Edward Percy. Of the French plays which the Selwyns will produce the most important is ‘‘Harlequin,” a fanciful and poetic love story by Maurice Magre, with an English ‘translation by Louis N, Parker. The first Selwyn production of the @oming season will be Jane Cowl's mew starring vehicle. Mr. Reicher will direct it. Closely following this ‘will be Channing Pollock's play, “‘The Fool,” with Richard Bennett as its star, and “‘The Exciters,”" a new play ‘by Martin Brown with Allan Dinchart “* tm the stellar role, While these pro- ductions are being made ready here Baégar t wyn is in Europe looking for @ suitable vehicle for Florence Reed. The Selwyns have arranged also to Present Mme. Petrova in a new play after Christmas. “THE INEVITABLE” STAGED. “The Inevitable,” « drama by Charlotte V. Wells, based on « story lmunched About Plays and Players well. Marle Bazz!, an Italian actress, eens her American debut in this 1B HADN'T EATEN, An actor who is very fat and who Prefers not to have his name men- toned in connection with this tale (strange actor, eh?) was walk along Broadway yesterday when e small boy on roller skates 1 plump into his midsection, When he had recovered from the collision the fat ae ee and said; “That's the first th: I've my stomach toauay phe a THEY'D SEEN ABE. Barney Bernard, having rented Jack Curley’s house at Great Neck for the summer, was commissioned recently by his wife to get a panese cook and a butler of the same nation- ality, Finally he located two brothers, When they saw Barney the: laughed. ‘Well, what's the Joke?” isked Barney, slightly peeved. ‘*Me see Honorable Abe Potash Sel- wyn Theatre an’ heem honorable Reriler, Maurice Perlmutter, Is Mr. jonorable Abe like th: Honora e that funny in his “He ie not," said Mr. Bernard, “Mebbe too bad,” said the Jap. “But we take um job.” ‘ And they went to work grinning, DALY OBJECTS. Arnold Daly seems to be unable to make his temperament behave. Joseph M. Gaites tried to put “The Monster" into rehearsal the other day but Mr. Daly apparently didn’t like the way things were being done and everybody had a helluva time. Whether or not he will be in the play remains to be seen, “THE CAT” IN LONDON, Kilbourne Gordon, Ino., in associa- tion with Grossmith & Malone, Ltd., will produce ‘The Cat and the Can- ary’ \n London earty im the fall, : {| JOE'S CAR % MY LAWYER MUST 1 BET IF X was a THAT DOUGH LONG ("M GONNA “TeLt HIM WHAT 1 THINK OF HI ‘TUESDAY, JULY 11, 1922 m Vit TELL HIM “THAT AS A LAWYER, HE'S Litt Mave Hum FEEL LIke “TA'HOLE. 7 IN A DOUGANUT $ BEA FATHEAD! LAWYER I'D HAVE BEFORE THis —— Copr. 1922 (N. Y. Eve, World) By Press Pub. Co. THE BIG LITTLE FAMILY | TH’ Food o~ THese DAWGONE SUMMER RESORT HETELS AINE FrY s8e? You ALWwAyYs GorTA MILK oN THE RIGHT SIDE oF cali SS BEAUTIFUL BAB THINGS WORSE OLLIE GIMBLE JUST WELL, BAB - DID YOU DECIDE HOW YOUR GOIN’ To GET THE $15.40 For THAT RIDING HABIT ? T Auways ForceT waictt IS MY -RICGAT HAND — —RuT 1F SomEBoDY ONLY TELLS Me WHICH IS LEFT, THEN T KNow THe OTHER ONE 1s THE RISKT ACCIDENT INSURANCE 1S ALL RIGHT FoR A FELLOW WHO TRAVELS — BUT ALL I EVER Do Is CALL ON KATINKA. (T'S WHO'S THAT RAPPIN’ AT THE DOOR — NO-AN to MAKE GREAT NOTMING-1 4 CAME HERE TO GET AWAY FROM MEN FOR THE SUMMER AT LEAST GEE, THAT'LL BE GREAT! -JUST THINK, THE FIRST MAN IN THIS CAMP IN TWO MONTHS WROTE ME (OA HE'D eat A FIRST CLASS UNDERTAKER — JINKS (M GLAD You DROPPED IN — 1 HAVE Your MONEY FOR YOUR car !-..! SAD —THERES A DEAD FLY IN MY SouP # The Evening Wor (mc oY Changes the ‘‘ Wording”! OL MAN. You'Re awrient ! DAWGONNIT 1 ALWAYS SAID YouRE A HE-LawYER —!-!- Put 'ER THERE lt The Soup or the Weather? BupoCounian That’s Right—Next Time She Won’t Get Ney, MAW ya? q t 1 our cow? AW- I'M Nor Y “PAINTIN’ te caw - re RZ R= mer MC car rF Left. \ia toto |) T ony Jest MarKeD waict: { SIDE TS MILK | : me ON * { BRING UP CoAL FROM THE CELLAR - LET Se ‘Gur PooR 01d MoTHeR Do iT — —MAK FiscHEeR - “Bronk = i b. ALL YoU WANT EDDIE - EDWARD “BROWN - Hew ravin— Cony « Dont sfueey Back FRaom THE Ceoceey. ~CLVe WieKMYER. ot Face!”’ THERE'S SonEBODY In THAT KITCHEN AN L'M GoNNA } FIND OUT WHO! ] WAzyY eax SAY, ULL SEND THAT CHECK HELLO-ZAT You Lou P <—~ FoR #25.00 OVER IN tag Gone PEOPLE “ARE so DUMB THEY Tink SHERLOCK HOLMES Is A ROW OF HOUSES from READER: CHAS. METZGER NG PATERSON Sy Jersey City WELL YOURE THE sitty KiD!! THE WOULD GIVE ANYTHING JUST TO SEE AMAN AGAIN GEE, T WONDER \F SHE REALLY MEANT THAT Gossip. Thirty-seven Columbia Univers! summer school students from Rocky Mountain area saw Morning, Dearie’ last night. There are #0 many players “Spice of 1922," we hear, that they An in tawfecing bureau ts to be established. don't all know each other, the pyright, by the Bell Synd. Guy Bolton has returned from FOOLISHMENT, ing a “Bride Sale’ and Shep Camp- THE HY< IND. must change to conform with them ty] Europe, He wrote the libretto for] A sweet little girl from Bt. Joe bell, the wit, is advising all old bach- EPLYING t clsm that}Blame the man who never chang: “Daffy Dill," the new Hammerstein] Once had a deaf mute for a beau. |elors to purchase. he frequently changed his mind,| “ils mind! How stale and soiled an musical piece now in rehearsal, H. A. Leonard, publicity man whose typewriter is parked at the Strand, has returned from the mountains, where he spent three weeks and all his savings. They couldn't hold hands, As true love demands. He used his to talk with, you know, A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. The Fair, in Wellsville, is advertis. tn Sing for six years.” PUT IT IN THE ACT. ‘Haven't I seen your face before?’’ “Maybe! “Well, B.D. Lloyd George said: don't they? We rather admire them I was @ guard at Ging/ for thet. It's hygienic. So with the mind. As conditions change, the mind lusty such a man’s mind must be. | who changes his mind to harmoni with circumstances, though, js spir- (tually clean and fresh, ‘9 living ac- cording to the laws of spiritu hygtene.""—Boston Transcript, men change their shirts,