The evening world. Newspaper, June 27, 1922, Page 28

“tee. , @R engagement at the Winter Garden By BIDE The Navy won the rowing race And Benny lost to Britton; Bambino picked a dandy place To hang a home-run hit on Poor Morvich is to take a rest, Block's wise, says all the sages, For other sport news, we suggest, You see the sporting pages. Love in the West. ‘The chances are we'll have an- ether young, unmarried school teacher here next fall to worry h—l out of the. single sports.—Kelton {Wyo.) Gazette. REVERIE, 1. do not own the Brooklyn Bridge, T Rave no wish to own it; And yet, were you to tear it down, I never could condone it. “=: This Man Losing Flesh. * Bomebody stole two steaks from Behmidt's butcher shop Monday night ‘and two Tuesday night.—Lester (0.) ‘Times. THELMA, THE VAMP. (Tis woman's art to break a heart. ‘ —Pinklespeare,) ~<»-Countess De Peewee's recep. ton being over, the guests went “@way disgusted. “You can all go to the devil!” Felled the hostess. She was one of the famous Busthead beauties of North Carolina. ‘Thelma's eyes met those of ' Benjamin Hur, and his gaze thrilled her, What cared she if the Countess were grouchy? The “anger of titled persons is so futile in these days of democ- Ficy! ~“Don't you curse me,” sald the “Uitte girl from Kitchikik. A frog leaped from the river's bank, a daisy bowed its pretty head, and a little calf romped @nd grunted in a field nearby. All nature seemed oblivious to mankind's woes. It was a pas- toral scene such As might have @one credit to Tony Pastor. Hur pressed his lps ‘Thelma’s. She shuddered. ‘was her first kiss. Lat us away,” she said. “Where to?" he asked. A strange man stepped for- ‘ward and saluted. “Arizona!” This from the new- comer. ‘Thelma scrutinized his fea- to It . tures. “Arizona!” she murmured. “Ab, ha! I know you!” He was Augustus Thomas. She had recognized him by his long, Bowing beard. (To be continued.) Buck Knows Women. Memphis X. Krantzor of Harlem writes us he efijoyed a good latgh the other day at the expense of his old.aunt. At dinner one night she asked: “Why do women wear corsets?” “Because of a natural desire to be} ing « pretty girl recently is hard squeezed,” replied Buck Krantsor, 8 | About Plays SHUBERT announces that “Spice of 1922,"" a new revue by Jeck Lait, with numbers by Jaok Yellen, Owen Murphy, James Haniey and J. Fred Coots, will begin on Thursday evening, July $. Arman Matis will present it and Allan K. = staged it. In the cast are Suratt, Adele Rowland, if Price, Jimmy Hussey, Evan Fontaine, Jane Richardson, Watts, Rath Brothers, Midgie C, Morton, Flavia D'Andrea, Will Oak i Hasoutra, Gatti } Jones, Jack Trainer, Harry Wal- Florence Brown, Helen O'Shea, Grace, Johnnie Berkes, Lucille tine, Rex Storey, James Gaylor LYRICS COME FIRST. Who writes the most important Part of a musical revue? “Areader has asked us the foregoing and, after thinking it over, f werae ining to hapd the honor to tha 3 . Scenes are built around rs and numbers originate with Let a lyric writer put some Peal ideas in his song-worge and he Will give @ revue @ big po. of its (EE re neem Good Evening! DUDLEY | POEMS OF PREFERENCE. eR She signs herself “A Mere Ste nographer,” but she has an acute yearning to win the velvet-lined oyster-opener and, at the sime time, a husband, maybe. The poem which she expects will bring home the bacon follows: I want a man who's sweet and kind, Who to my faulte will e’er be blind, Who'll always have me in hie mind And seek to make me happy. His looks won't count with Uttle me, And as for wealth well, hully gee! A rich man he won't have to he. Oh, where is such a chappyt college boy. And that was where Memphis did the laughing. Observations. Things are looking up for Walter Ward. He was off the front page yesterday. Abyssinia has stopped the killing of monkeys for taéir fur. In other words, {t wants no more monkey business. A Kansas City woman has been granted a divorce because her hus- band forcibly bobbed her hair. Among the locks hé cut off was wed- lock. ‘ There is no doubt that racing is very popular these days. Why, they've even given an embassy job in Washington,to a man named Pad- dock, The Angora Government has is- sued a protest to the Allies against the use of Turkish waters by. the Greek fleet. The presence of the ships had got Angora's goat. BY WAY OF DIVERSION. ro” the maiden put her little and ay. hn, | have a gift for you,’ id Unele Henry Petti- grew. It proved to be a Light- ning “Bight.” John thought the a simply great. But now in debt for tires and things he's had to get. He'd like to give that car away. He cusses it three times a day. And thus it goes; the thought- leve friend will oft hie ev'ry of- fort bend to bring you joy, yet when he's through, you'd like to break that friend in two, But use your judgment, folks, | say, about the hugs that come your way. And, as for this, do as you please, | had to write some sort of wheeze. "Twels About Due. A certain stockbroker, who is a golf fiend, went to a dentist recently to have some work done on his teeth. ‘The dentist had half a dozen instru- ments oma little shelf before him, and in filling one tooth used a num. ber of them. At one point he had to stop work to look for a certain in- strument. It was there, all right, but his eye missed it. As he hesi- tated, the patient squirmed in the chair and, said: “I think, Doc, you need the putter next, don't you?” AND NOW PERMIT US To inform you that a Newerk man who was fined $50 for kiss- at work saving up another fifty. foundation. The man who can fur- nish the comedy comes next and the composer follows him, But a@ lyric writer with ideas is the first fellow to corral for a musical revue. What's that? Yes, we write lyrics. SHUBERT “VODE” NEWS. Herman Timberg will write a revue called “Stolen Sweets" in which t Watson Sisters will be starred in Shubert Vaudeville, Ethel Davis, at present in an English revue, has signed with Harold Burgh and will write the lyrics and melodies for ‘Town Tattles. Gossip. One hundred visiting florists will see “Blossom Time" to-night, Eddie Canter and Ms “Mako It Snappy” troupe are going to Clover Gardens to-night for a big time. Lucile Cassidy of “Good Morning, will stay at home to-mor- row to help her mother can blackber- ries. Willams & Taylor, drollery danc- been adde ies Lingts According to Evening “The Perfect Lover’ will close 4) the £ heatrical News and Gossi to the cast of J eveuvnopy | SHow Th'cap To L- INVENT) Some 41181 FOR NoT Noe oa RET FD HAVE ye DEAR AND WELL Go ON A LITTLE ail A TIME GIVIN 17 AWAY! iar iia a — F TUESDAY. JUNI 27, 1922 JOE \ Sau) THAT GUY “THIS MORNING = 1 bESCRIBED YOUR CaP % HIM AND of SAID 17 WAS JUS THE KIND OF @ Boat HE ALways wANTED y JUST @s HAPD AU! “Heres AN (DEAL SPAT— AWAY UP THERE ON THe TOP t ot I tHink You'Re 4 WITTLE HARD ON MARY .1F ste WANTS SOMETHING.| LET HER HAVE IT- —DonT .eT HER cRY HERSELF I Guess YOu COME HERE, MARY. He iT AFTER HE SAYS To ME Wala 7 hy M\ “THERES ANTS IN HE SUGAR -SPIDERS CHIGGERS 'N' BEETLES INTHE SANDWICHES The Evening World’ “ep Ve aways Ae IDEA "D LIKE TO OWN A TWIN Six SEEN MY AMBITION FOR FNE YEaRs® Comics Ss Ed Has Great News—Almost ! O's THEN HE TURNS RIGHT AROUND AN Tents ME HE'S BOUGHT « car’ “PICNIC *— FoR, TH’ BUGS AN’ EVERW THIN '! . oun HAN... ® | Next Time She Must Remember to Remember! © can CRYIN’ FoR + SHED Give Now. wHat 74, [YER MA Said Bur 1 FoRGoT WAAT IT 15 I WANTED & GEE, I NEVER SHAVED MYSELF IN MY LIFE George M. Oohan Theatre Saturday night. How ‘bout it, Ed? The Globe ushers and a team from the Music Box will play ball Friday ernoon for the usher champion- ship. Madeline Grey has been engaged for “Sue, Dear,” the new musical comedy, and Asbury Park next week and com which pla: Long Branch to Broadway July 10. Fred Stone says his Wild West show will be held the Mineola Fair Grounds Saturday afternoon, rain or shine, The grand stands are covered, Leslie Austin has been added to the cast of “The Inevitable” in which Marta Bezsi has the principal role. Alpbons Ethier ts in the cast also. A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY. “Any young man," said Loney stage director and have him give him a part.” FOOLISHMENT, I Hke the hook and ladder boys, And me thetr work amazes, Still, right or wrong, I'll have to say That they can go to blazes. PUT IT IN THE AcT, “An errand boy is like our smallest coin,” “why?” “Because he's one sent.” —8B. D. Day’s Good Stories WARNING TO TOASTMASTERS: ASTMASTERS, hee ye! TT Listen to this tale, else some of . you may find yourselves in the predicament ths presiding genius of the first Lions’ Club dinner found himself tn. You see, the committee had invited John H. Bartlett, first assistant post- master general, to speak, and before he could answer the letter he met a member of the committee, “I will ba glad to come,"’ sald the first assistant, ‘but I don’t want to “That will be all right, Governor,” he was told, ‘‘Just come along, and you won't have to speak.’ Mr, Bartlett, thinking that the member of the committee would in- form the toastmaster, went to the dinner tn all innocence. Toward the end of the banquet he left the hall. launched into encomiums of former Gov. Bartlett of New Hampshire, former President of the Civil Service Commission, and now first assistant postmaster general. “I take great pleasure, ladies and gentlemen,"’ he concluded, ‘‘in intro- ducing the Hon. John H. Bartlett, first assistant postmaster general of the United States.’’ His wave of the hand designated an empty chair.—Washington Star. SHE COULD SEE THE MAN. HEN Granafother Burch was beyond her three-score and ten, with uncertain eyesight, she amazed and perplexed her mar. ried daughter, with whom she lived, by declaring that she intended to marry an old man living nearby who had been coming to see her, “But, mother,” said her daughter in protest, “you are not very well, and your eyesight ts falling so fast you cannot see fifty rods away." But, as it happened— The old lady protested that she Just about this time the toast-| could see ‘real good," and her daugh, master, also in all innocence, began|ter said: : to tell about an honored guest they . will put it to the test. If that had present. Without looking down the table he old in comes around to-day I will a] a if you can really see him. Be honest about it." The old lady agreed to this, and the aged suitor appeared a few hours later. He was asked to stand at one corner of the barn, and the old lady came out to be put to the test. Stand- ing in the door of the kitchen she shaded her eyes with pne hand and finally said: “Well, I can't somehow or other see the barn, but I do see the man!’’ —Judge. SPOILING THE FUN. E teacher sald to her pupils: “Wouldn't this be a great world if people would all love one another and treat each other with kisdness?’ One small boy looked doubtful. “Wouldn't you like to @ee every- body treat everybody else with kind- peas?’ the teacher inquired. After a moment's reflection the hoy answered: “Then there wouldn't be any more Mutt and Jeff pictures.'"—Youngs- town Telegram. CORNED BEEF AND— TALIAN cigars are not 80 good. They are made by the Govern. ment, aré as long and narrow as the road to salvation and have a straw run through them so that the Cage. 1828 (N.Y. Eve, World) My Prose Pub Co. forcer who had been brigaded with the Italians came home and pre- sented one to a friend. A couple of days later he met said friend. “How'd you like that cigar I gave you?" he asked. “Cigar?” repeated the other won- deringly. ‘Cigar? Why, my good fellow, it was great. I took it home and had it boiled and It went wonder- fully with the corned beef.''—Detroit Free Press. LIMITING AMBITION, NE of Pasadena’s society girls O has a marked talent for art. She studied in Paris, and last year one of her pictures got into the Salon, This {s all very well, but—— Said her mother the other day to a well known landscape painter of Southern California: “T don’t at all object to dear Dor- cthy’s painting, but I don’t want her to neglect her social duties for it, It she paints one masterpiece a year, that's quite enough, I think.”"—Lag- uma Life / MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING. 1E son and heir, aged sixteen, had come home after his first ex- perience at a boarding school, One morning he rushed into his mother’s room, demanding to know smoker can occasionally draw e@ puff.| What had been done with his razor. hay him stand near the barn and sec! An ex-American expeditionary Mother was not aware that he had TALL RIGHT & LET's co" Gore | FORIAN \qre wit st Baore PEOPLE ARE SO DUMB THEY THINK Pic Pond ISA CHINAMAN iB Ken Kline. any use for a razor, but, being a wise woman, she controlled her facial ex- pression and hunted up the missing artic ‘How often do you have to shave?" she inquired casually, as she turned to leave the room, “Oh! About once a month,” the young hopeful anWered seriously Judge. GOING SOME. A darky was on the witness stand testifying as to @ shooting scrape. Graphically he told how the prisoner drew @ revolver, shooting at one George Henry and himself and of how they ran to save themselves. “How fast did you run? he was asked, “Fast as I could, sur!"* “And how fast did George Henry run?” “How fast? Boss, if dat boy had eat eggs fo’ breakfast he would of flew!"—American Legion Weekly. OZARK ECONOMY, “Now, Fretty,” feebly hegan an Ozark Invalid, “I'm feeling consider- ably better this morning, and T reckon I'll get up for a spell.’ “Land o Gideon, not’ ejaculated his wife. ‘There's mighty nigh half of that bottle of medicine left that I paid a dollar for, You stay right there in bed till you've took it alj!' Kansas City Star. C 4